#and including anyone else ive forgotten

[softness-and-shattering]

Creating strawmen, projecting strawmen onto people, they get justifiably upset, you feel vindicated because look they are being awful to you like you said, everyone sinks into their trauma and defensiveness and lashes out, we go in circles and circles of hurting each other instead of protecting ourselves and each other.

It doesnt matter who has it worse. We all have it bad. We're all targeted by the same people and the same ideologies. We're all hurt in similar but varying ways.

Ive seen a significant uptick recently of this "trans men are basically cis men and experience no oppression whatsoever" strawman. Its got to stop. It doesnt make other trans people more valid or more real or more safe to make these claims you have no evidence for. What are you trying to achieve? Because all youre doing is picking a fight and hurting people and getting hurt yourself. Is that what you want from your life? Getting bloodied and weakened in a pointless brawl while the wolves are scratching at the door? Because we really need to work out how to fight the wolves before they batter down the door.

You want respect, decency, a measure of safety? We can have each others backs. But only if you stop stabbing us there. We have much bigger fights to fight than who is the most oppressed tranny. And if we succeed there wont be an answer because we will achieve freedom and safety and and justice. Please just take a breath and look at what we have in common for a minute, instead of imagining all the ways we can hurt each other. Look at what we all have to fight for.

We arent cis men. We dont have male privilege. We dont have the confidence of a cis guy who's never been told no, we're unlearning a lifetime of being told to sit down and shut up and wait our turn and look pretty. We have also navigated complicated relationships with womanhood and femininity and stereotypes and expectations and disappointment. We are also navigating complex relationships with manhood and masculinity and patriarchal expectations and demands and how to build a sense of self that doesnt revolve around asshole dudebro traits like degrading women and bullying other men to prove how manly we are, and acting allergic to emotions. We've all experienced those assholes as women and we sure dont want to become them. We're not transitioning for safety same as you arent, we're trans because its who we are. We always have been and often still are subject to misogyny. Theres no safety pass out of the patriarchy and we tend not be very patriarchal asshole wealthy manly men so we dont have power or status around those types either.

We share so many struggles and so many vulnerabilities and we're so busy fighting each other over nothing of substance just whos worst hurt! And if you dont want to or cant be an activist thats fine we can just be allies. Aquaintances if not friends. Maybe even friends. We're all just people. And Im so so tired of this stupid division every fucking day trying desperately for anyone to see how much we are hurting. I see you. I want us to stop fighting so that we all have one less source of pain. And nonbinary people you are absolutely included as are intersex people as is everyone queer or adjacent. We're all weirdos and we're all punished for it. We all hurt really badly. We all feel and are in some ways invisible. Can we please put down the weapons so that we can rest and heal, and then draw up a game plan of some kind, and then start dealing with the wolves whoever can so we can all be properly safe. Including you. You dont have to be specially oppressed to deserve safety and respect, that comes free with being human. Theres nothing to prove. I believe you.

Like so sorry but after spending 80% of my childhood being sexually harassed (for being seen as a girl) and being sexually harassed (for being trans) and being plain ol' harassed (for being a freak) and being sexually harassed again (for being a freak), I just think you're being maliciously ignorant if you try to claim trans men... don't face misogyny? Or just, violence in general, or even violence specific to us.

This is no longer a debate for me, y'all are just... wrong. On purpose.

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

have some random wd au doodle pages. mafuyu settling in with the dark knights and grumpy healer mage nene

[whencyclopedia]

A Gallery of Tutankhamun & Family

Tutankhamun is easily the most famous Egyptian ruler in the world thanks to his nearly intact tomb discovered by Howard Carter in 1922 and the "mummy's curse" associated with the opening of that tomb. Although Tutankhamun was initially thought to have been a minor ruler, that opinion has changed, and he is now regarded in a more favorable light.

Tutankhamun (r. c. 1336 to c. 1327 BCE) was the son of Amenhotep IV (better known as Akhenaten) of the 18th Dynasty and his wife Nefertiti. He came to the throne at a young age and died soon after. His father had changed the religious paradigm of polytheism to a monotheistic worship of the god Aten, and the young prince was originally known as Tutankhaten ("living image of Aten") before he changed his name to Tutankhamun ("living image of Amun") when he discarded his father's new religion and returned Egypt to a worship of the old gods, including the popular Amun.

When the general Horemheb (r. 1320-1292 BCE) came to the throne, he tried to erase all evidence of Akhenaten and his family including, of course, Tutankhamun, claiming for himself the role of champion of the old gods and restorer of tradition. Tutankhamun's tomb was accidentally buried later by the workers building the tomb of Ramesses VI (r. 1145-1137 BCE) and was forgotten until its discovery by Carter.

The famous "mummy's curse" or "Curse of Tutankhamun" that became worldwide headlines in 1923 after the "mysterious" death of Carter's patron, Lord Carnarvon, was based on a misinterpretation of an inscription found in the tomb which was reported as reading "I will kill all of those who cross this threshold into the sacred precincts of the royal king who lives forever" but which actually read "I am the one who prevents the sand from blocking the secret chamber" – the "I" being the door. Howard Carter was aware the "curse" was fiction but never challenged it because it kept people away from the tomb, and he could work in peace without constant interruptions. The "curse" also scared people who had either smuggled artifacts out of Egypt illegally or purchased them on the black market into returning them or donating them to museums. There was nothing mysterious about the death of Carnarvon or anyone else associated with opening the tomb. Carter lived until 1939, and Carnarvon's daughter, who was present when the tomb was opened, lived until 1980.

This gallery presents some of the artifacts found in Tutankhamun's tomb as well as images of his parents, the famous image of the young king and his wife Ankhsenamun, and, of course, one of the best-known images associated with ancient Egypt: the golden death mask of Tutankhamun.

Continue reading...

[meddwlyngymraeg]

I'd love to hear some more happy sounding Welsh songs! can be any genre. also any songs about the sea! diolch!!

Shwmae! Amazingly, you are the literal target audience for Ynys' first album ('Ynys', 2022). Dylan Hughes is from Aberystwyth and spent many years in Cardiff and found himself longing for the seaside he grew up in, and when he finally started writing music as Ynys (he used to be in a cool indie psychedelic band called Race Horses too, if that's your thing), he put together a whole album only to realise how much of it is about the sea. I mean, his band is literally called Ynys (Island)!

Also, he has that wonderful, lush psychedelic pop sound, which I think sounds pretty happy musically, though there are definitely some themes of longing, being lost, culture and language, all that good stuff thrown in too. It's complex, but I still feel it's quite a happy listen!

So some songs from the album I'd recommend - Môr Du (Black Sea), Welcome to the Island (now technically this is an instrumental, don't know where that sits!), There's Nothing The Sea Doesn't Know.

My personal favourite off the album is Caneuon (‘Songs’, references the Gorky's Zygotic Mynci song 'Gegin Nos'—more on them in a sec—and also a pretty happy/reminiscing/wistful song), but the whole album is quite good, and their recent second album Dosbarth Nos also has some lovely songs that lift my mood at least— Aros Amdanat Ti, Gyda Ni, Dosbarth Nos. Also the sea references continue!

I'm linking their Bandcamp page rather than a Spotify because Dylan makes sure to include lyrics and translations on there (and in physical liner notes), if you or anyone else reading this was interested in going into the lyrics! (Also I usually feel like I should give people the option to directly support musicians if they feel inclined, where Spotify pays not even cents for most music.) But these two albums are on streaming if you'd like too!

I've also gotta recommend some Gorky's! Their 1997 album's called Barafundle, named after Barafundle Beach, and while I don't think any of the songs are directly about the sea itself (except like The Barafundle Bumbler, which uh. Your mileage may vary. It’s about a voyeur bloke that sits by the seaside on said beach), but there's Diamond Dew which is such a lovely tune, and while not about the sea, Patio Song (i.e. everyone's favourite Gorky's song) has that lovely outro of 'it is raining, so take my hand, the winter's so long, it takes so much of the earth'. ☔️🌧🌈 Happy music, some of Gorky's work! (Personal fave off the album: Starmoonsun <3)

(Also this song's in English but since we're talking about Gorky's I can't not recommend Spanish Dance Troupe. Gorgeous song.)

There's also the super cool Adwaith, who wrote the song Lan Y Môr. This song is actually a lot older than the album it ended up on, 2022's Welsh Music Prize winning Bato Mato, Adwaith are still the only musicians to win the Prize twice. They wrote the song and released it as a single back in early 2020 and it was following a run of really cool punky Cymraeg singles. Love Adwaith, they're quite cool.

Edit: HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN. The queen of the beaches. Gwenno herself. I guess I hadn’t included her because this isn’t technically a Welsh language album (save for one song, N.Y.C.A.W. (Nid Yw Cymru Ar Werth)). Gwenno is half-Welsh, half-Cornish, and this album was basically written down at St. Ives. This does sound like it, and I love this song Anima!

Hope you like these! People can totally feel free to add on in the notes if I’ve missed something!

[loversj0y]

loves me (like im brand new)

TW: this fic deals with sensitive topics, specifically referencing sexual assault, as well as the recovery process, including mentions of flashbacks and references to dissociation. read at your own discretion

hey so this is entirely self-indulgent. ive been having a rough week (and im sure based on the content you could probably understand why) so yeah, it's not much. but take this as i try to cope (and finish the ttds au)

title is taken from call it what you want by taylor swift

wilbur soot x gn! reader

word count: 1.9k

The floor of the bathtub seemed to become your best friend during trying times. There was something about it that just became comforting when you felt like reaching out to anyone wouldn’t help. And it would help to reach out, but you couldn’t help preferring to spill your secrets to the bathroom floor.

It was too late at night for most people to be taking a shower, and you knew that. You’d been in here god knows how long, your phone left forgotten in your bedroom. The water was turned as hot as it would go, your skin left a blazing red in response. You didn’t know what triggered the episode, maybe the date was a little too close to the anniversary, or maybe you’d thought for a second that you saw the guy who assaulted you a few years back. In reality, it was a combination, you were always much more aware of your trauma this time of year, when memories of abuse and unmeaningful “i love yous” went rampant in your brain. There wasn’t much you felt you could do at times like this. The water helped, though. It hurt slightly,  but the burn of the water was stronger than the memory of his hands on you. Everytime you did this, you hoped the water would allow you to scrub the hands off of you, but each time you could never feel clean. Your body wouldn’t feel like yours fully. You tried to stave off flashbacks and memories, forcing yourself to be grounded by focusing on tiny details in your apartment’s bathroom, the grout of the tile, the stains at the bottom of the shower curtain, the way the lightbulb would occasionally flicker. That lightbulb usually annoyed you, but now, you felt thankful for it as it’s random flicker would pull you out of your thoughts when you slipped into them.

You wanted to leave the shower, part of you wanting to go curl up in bed and put on so many layers until you felt like your body didn’t exist. But any attempts at moving made your brain yell at you once more, leaving you stuck in place.

A knock on the door startled you, your heart rate spiking, you didn’t have roommates, who-.

You question was cut off before you could even finish it.

“Darling?! Are you in there?” Wilbur, your boyfriend, sounded alarmed. He wasn’t supposed to stop by tonight, he was supposed to go hang out with Tommy, so why was he here?

“Wilbur?”

He seemed to let out a relieved sigh. “Are you alright? Can I come in?”

“I- yeah, you can come in,” you spoke, just loud enough for him to hear. He opened the door, quickly moving over to where you were, kneeling down next to the shower. 

“What are you doing here, Wilbur?” I asked softly.

“You weren’t answering, I got scared.”

“I told you I was going to take a shower, didn’t I?”

“Darling, that was almost four hours ago,” He frowned, reaching a hand into the water to fix your hair, but pulling back once he felt the temperature. He looked at you, getting a better look now that some of the steam had left the bathroom. “Love, your skin is burning red, that cannot feel good. Come on, let’s get you out of there.”

You groaned lightly, leaning your head against the side of the tub, “I can’t.”

“What do you mean, love?”

“I just- I can’t, I feel…” trapped, haunted, exhausted, stuck, “frozen.”

He nodded, even though he didn’t fully understand. “Are you okay with me touching you?”

You thought about it for a moment. Anyone else and it would’ve been a no, anyone else and it would’ve set your brain into overdrive, but Wilbur never made you feel anything but safe and loved. You nodded after a moment.

He stood, leaning forward and turning off the shower. He got into the tub behind you, carefully lifting you and helping you stand. 

“You’re gonna get wet,” you complained softly.

He just shrugged, “I don’t mind. I’m sure I’ve left enough clothes here that I can find something if it bothers me.” 

You sniffled a bit and nodded. He carefully got you out of the tub, grabbing your towel and wrapping it around you gently. He pressed a gentle kiss to your head. 

“Let me grab your pajamas, okay?” He went to grab them, but you reached a hand out and stopped him.

“Wait, I-” you paused, looking down a bit shyly, “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

He gave you an encouraging smile, nodding, “That’s alright. I’ll stay with you until you’re dry, and then we’ll go together. Sounds good?” 

You nodded softly at him, taking a seat on top of the closed toilet seat cover. You looked down at his jumper, “Sorry again about your jumper.”

He shrugged, pulling the jumper off and tossing it out of the bathroom, wearing a simple white shirt underneath, “Doesn’t matter. Not as much as you do.” 

You looked at the ground after he spoke. You didn’t feel like you mattered right now. It had nothing to do with your boyfriend, he was being so incredibly kind, and you couldn’t ask for anything better. But your head fought back and forth between feeling Wilbur’s love and feeling like you were back in that room from so many years ago. You pulled the towel tighter around yourself, and it was like you could feel Wilbur’s frown. He knew you too well, knowing your tells whenever you retreated into your own head. 

“Darling, look at me,” He spoke softly, kneeling down in front of you. 

You slowly looked up at him, met with nothing but kindness in his gaze. 

“There you are,” he smiled softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head violently, “No- I… not now.” 

He nodded, rubbing your back gently, “That’s alright. Are you ready to get dressed?”

You nodded, and he carefully leaned down to pick you up, walking to your closet. He set you down once you were there, keeping his hand at your back. He looked around for a moment before grabbing one of his sweaters and a pair of old sweatpants, “Here.”

You took them, and he helped you get dressed, the both of you taking your time. Once you were dressed, he took your hand, walking you to bed. 

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” He asked softly as you sat down on the bed. 

“Could you hand me my water bottle?” You asked softly, pointing at the bottle sitting on your desk. He did so quickly, and you drank from it quickly before setting it on your nightstand. 

You didn’t quite know how to get the words out to ask him the next part, so you just patted the bed. He understood, sitting against the headboard. You came over, laying down against him gently, and his arms were quick to fall around you, holding you close. 

He kissed the top of your head, humming a soft tune. Once you’d relaxed enough, you spoke quietly. 

“I thought you were going to Tommy’s tonight?”

He shrugged, “You weren’t responding, so I got worried. His girlfriend is there anyways, so he wouldn’t notice if I was there or not anyway.”

“Still, you didn’t have to come here,” you spoke softly, and he scoffed. 

“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to.”

You nodded, burying your face against him lightly. You wanted to tell him what happened, it just took a few minutes to actually get the words out. “Today sucked.” You spoke quietly, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I just… it’s around this time a few years ago that I was- I,” it hurt to say, and Wilbur knew, piping up softly, “I know.”

You nodded once more, continuing, “it’s just… it feels so much more real around now, and so I just feel so much more sensitive to everything. The tiniest thing sets me off into a flashback, and it’s like I can still feel those hands on me sometimes, and it’s just- it’s overwhelming.” You sniffled softly, “The hot water helps, I can feel it more than the stupid fucking hands, but I just- I’ve rubbed my skin raw so many times, and I can still feel it. I’ve never felt clean since then, but it gets so much worse around this time, and I just can’t help but feel gross,” you sobbed softly, burying your face further against his chest. 

Wilbur held you close, rubbing your back gently, “I don’t think you’re gross.” He spoke, “I know that it might not mean much coming from me, but I don’t think you’re gross, or unclean, or anything like that. I think you went through something shitty, and that you survived. And I also know that I adore you, and I adore learning more about you. Everything about you is new to me. Each piece makes you up, and I feel honored to learn about all of it, even if it feels like a curse, because I know that it all brought you to me, the same way I know the stuff I went through brought me to you.”

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes, “Thank you,” You whispered. It meant more than he’d probably ever know to hear him describe you as new. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead gently. “Of course, love. Your past is not you, it’s like a piece of clay, you know? You can’t change it fundamentally, but you can change how it looks and how you use it. It doesn’t define you, it just makes up part of you.”

You sighed softly, “I wish it didn’t, though. I’d rather it have never happened.”

He frowned, “I understand. If I could change the past, I would, just for you. But since I can’t, I’ll do anything you need me to because I want to make sure you are okay. It’s what I’m here for.” 

You nodded, and he carefully wiped at your eyes. After a moment of trying to calm your tears, you, strangely enough, started laughing.

Wilbur smiled, giving you an incredulous look. “What is it?”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “Just feel a bit stupid.”

“Why?”

“For not telling you earlier. I’ve felt like shit since like 2P.M., I just didn’t want you to worry”

He smiled, brushing a bit of your hair back, “Darling, I’m constantly worrying about you. I mean this lovingly when I say you stress me out every day, especially when you text me in the middle of the night to show me the bugs you see when you walk around town at night.”

“It’s always fun doing that, though. Plus, you know I’m always heading to see you.”

He flushed a bit, chuckling softly, “I know. But it does make me worry.” 

You smiled, gently taking his hand in yours. “Thank you for showing up.” 

He squeezed your hand gently, “Of course. I’ll always show up for you, darling.” 

You closed your eyes, curling into his side and yawning out slowly. The dark feeling in your chest was still there, but it felt smaller with Wilbur around. It was much more bearable with him there. 

“Goodnight, love,” He gently pecked your lips, holding you lightly. 

“Goodnight, Wilbur.” With him by your side, everything felt lighter. You could breathe, with him by your side, and you were able to fall into a quiet slumber.

[one-annon]

hi I'm annon!!

I started tumblr as a artist but I guess I'm moving onto my writing too - I ask you to please be patient because I'm new to writing x readers n such but I will try my best!!

it's been quite a while since I wrote but I can do like 1k to 2k? longer than that might be a little hard for me (｀□´)

i dont have much else to say about myself! uh, ive been writing for a while now. i also do rps! if youd like to do any rps when the listed characters/movies, feel free to let me know! im also happily spoken for by @wrathofthegodsfrontman <3

my current hyperfixation; saw series!

next movie on my list; silence of the lambs!

【ＣＨＡＲＡＣＴＥＲ　ＬＩＳＴ】

sawyer family (including the game characters!) - texas chainsaw massacre

hewitt family - texas chainsaw masscre remake

jason voorhees - friday the 13th series

michael myers (og and rz) - halloween series

laurie strode/angel myers (og and rz) - halloween series

billy lenz - black christmas 1974 (i will do 2006 version but mostly the 1974 version)

brahms heelshire - the boy

carrie white (and friends) - carrie (og and remakes)

scream team (billy, stu, randy, etc) - scream series (ive only seen 1 and 2 but im making my way through)

harry warden - my bloody valentine (og and remake)

sinclair brothers - house of wax

firefly family - house of 1000 corpses trilogy

dbd characters - dead by daylight

saw characters - any movie! this includes the scott tibbs documentary and saw .5!

herbert west and dan cain - reanimator

patrick bateman - american psycho

edgar, miles, and madeline - electric dreams

hal 9000, frank poole, and dave bowman - 2001: a space odyssey

anyone else you can think of! I'll try my best to learn the character :) these are just everyone I can think of at the moment! I'll do killers and survivors but I know people are more obsessive over the killers lmao

【ＷＩＬＬ　ＤＯ】

anything really..I don't have too many boundaries. I can do anything from hcs, scenarios (i.e. how would ____ react to ____?), smut, fluff, angst...the whole works

and even if you're willing to rant to me about your ocs I could whip up a oc x canon story! :)

also, depending on the media, im open to non horror writes!

【ＷＩＬＬ　ＮＯＴ　ＤＯ】

really not a lot to add here? maybe like...toilet related stuff for nsfw..

just the usuals - no incest (MAYBE for the sawyers since they are canonically inbred but its very situational), p3dophilia, b3astiality, etc etc

MASTERLIST!

GENERAL TAGS; #MANN GEGEN MANN! ➸ OOC/ANNON (also used for my rp blogs!) ↪ mann gegen mann - rammstein

#AND I KNOW WHY YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY MOTH MAN ➸ annons moths ↪ moth man - dirty bynum

#SEARCHIN! SEEK AND DESTROY! ➸ annons art ↪ seek & destroy - metallica

#my face is long forgotten my face is not my own ➸ ask games (again, also in my rp blogs!) ↪ am i evil? - diamond head

FANDOM TAGS;

#game over! ➸ saw writes ↪ jigsaw, apprentices

#i speak for the dead ➸ jigsaw legacy au ↪ logan nelson

#its a scream baby! ➸ scream writes ↪ stu macher

#you fudgepackers'll be the death of me yet! ➸ TCM writes ↪ drayton sawyer

#hey paul! ➸ american psycho writes ↪ patrick bateman

#hes dead?/not anymore... ➸ reanimator writes ↪ dan cain/herbert west

#love is give not take so im giving you madeline and taking myself away ➸ electric dreams writes ↪ edgar

#im afraid i cant do that dave ➸ space odyssey writes ↪ hal 9000

WRITING TAGS;

#HEY HEY HEY HEY! HEY STOOPID! ➸ annon writes ↪ hey stoopid! - alice cooper

#I WASNT EVEN A BILL I WAS JUST AN IDEA ➸ annons hcs ↪ im just a bill - school house rock (cover by deluxx folk implosion) #keeping our eyes close to whats going on on the screen ➸ angst writes ↪ slumber - sløtface

#ive got to have faith faith faith ➸ hurt with comfort writes ↪ faith - george michael (and cover by limp bizkit)

#quit actin like a bitch and makin up excuses ➸ hurt with no comfort ↪ i wish i was a riot grrrl - destructo disk

#call me on the line call me anytime ➸ fluff writes ↪ call me - blondie

#rein raus rein raus ➸ smut writes ↪ rein raus - rammstein

#so much for the golden future i cant even start ➸ annons drabbles ↪ breaking the law - judas priest

yeah! thats kinda it! I'll try to reply and write out requests as fast as I can

credit to; @strangergraphics for the awesome dividers!

ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ꜱᴀᴡ ʀᴘ ʙʟᴏɢꜱ!

@ᴡʀ4ᴛʜ-ᴏꜰ-ᴛʜᴇ-ɢᴏᴅꜱ @ᴛʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ-ᴛᴡɪɴꜱ @zippyzep @jigsaws-disciples

[ofmdee]

MAN i am so close to getting the next part of BU written, im like at the very end of the chapter but im having a hard time wrapping it up, i think because i Know that means then i have to do the pictures 😂

the chapter kinda started off as a freewriting thing, a pwp i wasn't planning on sharing, but then i realized it Could actually be a good filler chapter, and once that happened i was like oh i can't write anymore 😅

but i added a few plotty things, including a conversation i wanted ed and stede to have re: ed's transmogrification which i think is important, and ed giving stede a pearl he finds. he's bringing stede little trinkets like a kitty bringing gifts. mermaids are just big cats 2 me.

and then stede starts calling ed his pearl, etc etc

i WANT TO want to write, i want to keep creating this fic, i love it so much, it's my passion project etc, but i am just having such a hard time with it lately! i am rly trying to follow this advice and be gentle w myself and not push it, but it's hard! i worry that by the time i Really feel like doing it again, anyone who was interested will have moved on. i compare myself to other ppl too often, and i feel like holy shit ive been working on this for over 2 years, i should have SO MUCH more to show for the amount of time i put into it 💀

and then ofc i always doubt myself, like this isn't good, ppl are just reading it because they are my friends/feel sorry for me, the sims stuff is Cringe and im so amateur and embarrassing and everything i do sucks!!!

but also ive been rereading the fic during downtime at work, just to try and get a feel for it again, and im like oh, this is actually NOT awful? and it's making me like hmmmmm maybe i WILL get back into this....... i really do love it. i love reading it. and that's so important, i think. i like what i create, even tho i am also convinced no one else will. idk when my self confidence fuckin TANKED man but i think so little of myself and i hate that! i wanna think im the shit. or at least okay.

anyway idk what im even talking abt anymore, lmfao, just. fic stuff!!! being obsessive abt stuff. fandom stuff! i'm thinking abt taking an edible later and then trying to churn out the rest of the chapter so i at least have the framework to edit but idk, i rly AM also trying not to force it. i have ts4 open still from making my new icon/header and im like hmmm i could load my photoshoot save and start working on the pics.... but idk.

i HAVE gotten really into diamond painting over the past month or so, tho, and i think having another hobby, one that isn't tied to the internet in general, is rly helping me balance some things a bit more. here are a few pics of things ive made:

ive even ordered a custom ofmd kit, using one of ann's edits as the picture, im soooooo excited for it to arrive!!! ive been rly obsessive abt this since i started, but it's rly relaxing? it makes my mind go (white noise static sound) and rly helps me forget abt being anxious. but then i can also end up getting anxious about doing it Too Much, but that's a whole other can of worms re childhood trauma etc etc w/e

this turned into kinda a life update post lmfao, i just wanted to untangle some fic thoughts but it got away from me. oh well! idk thanks if u read this and thanks if u read my fic, i promise i haven't forgotten abt it 🧜‍♂️

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

ok so this may be the most outlandish thing ive said on here but... is anyone else getting the vibe that The Summer I Turned Pretty is the new Twilight? like, i'm not saying its bad or anything. despite this post i've never even watched it so i have no clue if its good or not. but after the blowup success of the Twilight movies, we suddenly saw the Twilight-ification of everything. this was the era of love triangles and werewolves and vampires and y/n-style characters. Twilight (imo) single-handedly started a cultural revolution amongst teenage girl spaces. just take a single glance at wattpad lmao.

obviously, Twilight really wasn't all that great, but you can't deny the impact it had on media at the time (negative or positive). suddenly, love triangles are all over movies and tv. even the hunger games, which was a book series that really couldn't have given less of a shit about peeta vs gale or whatever the fuck, was a victim of this! the movies and the advertising for the movies included wayyy more ship war fuel than the books ever did.

now, with the breakout success of TSITP, im suspecting we're seeing something similar. let's be so honest, that tv show took current teenage girl spaces by STORM. you couldn't go anywhere online or even in daily outside life without seeing it or hearing about it. now, with the release of My Life with the Walter Boys, i am almost 100% its Twilight all over again. i'm ngl, my jaw dropped when my best friend off-handedly mentioned she was watching it now, bc i stumbled upon it as wattpad book back in like 2011 and i had completely forgotten about it. it was posted in 2010. you're telling me, 13 years later, just after TSITP was met with insane success, it gets released and it has nothing to do with TSITP? i don't buy it.

overall, i'm not unhappy with this new teenage girl cultural revolution, and am not 100% sure it even IS a cultural revolution and not just a year-long fad, but i am very curious to see what the media targeted for teenage girls will look like in the next couple of months.

[gayspock]

ok 1 menty b for me

i dont know. i think its just always been so alienating. i think theres something wrong with me and its unfixable. and sometimes, if i cant have anything else, i just want at least the fucking chance to express that without people thinking even less of me. and ik in reality nobody even gaf or sees me. but i also know know that if they did, 9times out fo 10 people would be rolling their eyes. whatever. idk. i feel so lonely and i dont think im ever not going to be lonely and its never going to get better because even when given the resources, the opportunities i just can never manage . i just cant . i swear i try . but every single time. my whole fucking life . i just walk away from everything with even less, it feels like. and its getting so much harderand harder. and i dont know how to express it liek ... i fucking feel myself SEETHE as ppl keep insisting "theres still a chance! there's still hope!" like sure bro. but i dont want to fucking keep living my life along the fucking asymptote of getting consistently closer to dying alone but "haha technically its not a certainty" and . like theres just something so fucking repulsive about me and i just cant seem to fix it no matter what. and im so exhausted all the time. and i genuinely dont think theres any way out of that . i go to work and i come home so burnt out and tired. and people are nice there but i dont think i can really connect with anyone . i just cant seem to get close to people . and i dont have it within me to meet anyone else because im so fucking tired all of the time .

and even if i did and i mustered all the energy and spent all the little time i had left in the world i dont think theyd have time for me. not just bc nobody in their 20s does but also because i dont know . it just never seems to work . and i cant do it again where i try to invest every little piece of me into it when its jsut always left me fucking miserable and pathetic. bro do you know what i mean. not to be 16 and lame as shit still. i feel like im always the idiot ppl take pity on at best . i dont think ive ever been real to anybody. like alwaysssssss...... and even now i feel like every time I HAVE existed within circles of others. its literally 10 times out of 10 just constantly fighting to be included and seen as someone whos not a fucking joke and i just feel like such a fucking . loser for caring so much about it when. REALISTICALLY. pretty much all the people ive met in life will have forgotten i exist. and ok. ok. i just dont think ... like its not like some trait within me right like ... im not As melodramatic to be like oh . oh theres an actual innate trait within me thats activated and stops people liking me. just. the contrary like. i just think theres nothing within me to actually like . or to gravitate towards. so likeyeah sure . that makes sense. why WOULD you want to bother with someone whos just kinda hollow or whatever.. something something or other. and i kind of wish i was more resilient about tht. but i jsut . i guess as is a Guy of that Nature, its just ... im trying to fucking not fucking spiral but i just feel myself fucking filling up with fucking . miserable SHITTY bile or whatever because i just wish i felt normal or whatever. its such a fucking human fucking thing that other people can MANAGE. but i cant . its so so fucking hard and i cant do it and i cant handle it. and i just feel so angry sometimes anyways . bc i hate it . and i keep trying bc i wanna make peace with it because i know theres no out . like ive long since given up on ever thinking its going to work out . because nothing fucking helps but makes it so much worse . anyways. i dont know. but i dont know bro. it drives me fucking insane when people always spout some bs about how "haha everyone has someone! everyone will find someone! like no they dont no they wont . its so .. so much more isolating. or like "EVERYONEEE feels lonely sometimes" like HOW does that help. HOW. and it makes it so MUCH FUCKING WORSEEEE when people tell you about how lonely they are too!!! like cool . i dont have a chance then. sorry i know thats such a bitter bitch thing to say. but idk if it rlly matters like ... at the end of the day idc when ppl have partners. or people they talk to. family who loves them. and youre still lonely. cool. thank you for letting me know, dude. go back to the people who will look out for you and love you whilst i sit in the dark and not speak to anyone for weeks whilst not a single person would even notice im gone .

or like. bro. i dont think a single person has taken me seriously for long enough to ever fucking like me or hold me in enough regard to like... want to talk to me again nevermind like be with me in a certain sense so i jsut. i dont know. sits alone. every fucking day for years maybe. i dont know. i feel so fucking sad and angry knowing deep down that i can know all this and know its true but even then . i cant even have that . people wont even take THAT part of me seriouslyand think im just some fucking idiot whos not even trying. when i really reallyhave but its just so... worthless it feels like . it feels like im never getting anywhere and everyone thinks i just gave up when i didnt. and i dont know. thar makes it sound like people actually see me and really are laughing or something when i dont think its nearly that much. i think its like oh people see me make that as a snap judgement and i fall out of existence again. and i dont know. it shouldnt matter but i feel so fucking strung out and exist between these instances only and idk. idk bro. im trying to be okay with it. but as im getting older i just feel like theres so many more things that are revealing themselves as worse and worse. and im going crazy. im going crazzzzzzyyyy . whatever . insert the mental breakdown gifs . the funny ones where those guys aremoving really fast

[halofcrged]

RULES.

            going to try and keep this pretty simple & straightforward.

I.  You must be 18+ to interact with me. I am 42 years old.

            There will be not safe for work content on this blog of the sexual and potentially of the graphic violence nature.  I do tag everything that might be triggering and am happy to tag whatever you ask me to so long as I remember!

                            I ask that you tag any visuals containing spiders with spider tw* spiders tw* arachnophobia tw* etc etc and yes, I know it’s a weird one but anything about the taste of soap or eating soap is a trigger so just tag it with soap tw* or penny don’t look* as I have that blacklisted too.  I don’t have any triggering fcs or what not.

II. This blog is multi-ship, multi-verse, crossover & au friendly.  

          Every ship is in its’ own verse unless previously discussed with all parties.  Every thread or set of threads takes place in its own universe unless previously discussed with all parties.

III.  I write anything from one-liners to novellas, it really just depends on life, my headspace, how much sleep I’ve been getting, how much else I have going on in real life, etc.

IV. My activity is NOT consistent.  I am infamous for blog hopping.  I have literally replied to some starters / replies two years+ after they were originally written.  I am not fast.  If I am fast, it’s by some small miracle and perfect storm of brain, muse and free time.  It will not last.

V.  I have kids, cats and dogs; I am in college, I have a household to take care of and I have many physical and mental handicaps that can affect my ability to function and write, including but not limited to rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, spinal stenosis, ganglion cysts, torn meniscus, migraines, hypothyroidism, PMDD, nerve damage, herniated disc, ADHD, depression, anxiety, C-PTSD and severe insomnia.  

                          Roleplay is something I do for fun.  

                                  If it isn’t fun, I don’t do it.  

                                         If it’s stressing me out, I’ll avoid it.  

VI. I do graphic commissions.  

          I run @tuppencetrinkets where I post the millions of screencaps and 200x100 icons that I make.  The resources are free but donations are always appreciated as I pay about $40 in hosting / program fees a month.   My commissions are always pay what you can.  I hate setting prices because I want everyone to have pretties if they want them and I don’t know what anyone can afford at any given time.  I do everything from base icons to edited icons, backgrounds, headers, dividers, promos, videos, you name it.  I try to be quick with turnaround but again – sometimes I just can’t be.

VII.  I am fine with plotting things out in advance or winging it.  I really don’t care, whatever you are more comfortable with is fine with me.

               I like all kinds of plots.  I like fluffy things, slice of life, broships, frenemies, enemies, familial, found family, long arcing, one shot throwaway, dark and twisted, you name it plots.  I will not write n*ncon or anything nsfw themed /even hinted at with minor characters and I won’t write any explicit child death etc. but most everything else is fair game.

VIII.  You can throw a million memes at me any time you want to.

IX.  You can throw any and all starters at me any time you want to.

                I’m not necessarily mutual exclusive but I don’t guarantee I’ll respond to memes or starters from non-mutual blogs.

X. I use icons, headers, promos etc. that I make myself 99% of the time.  Please do not use any of my edited graphics.  All base icons I use are free and available on my resource blog.  

XI. I use small text and my icons are 200x100 with empty space to make them 540x130 so that they don’t stretch out on mobile.  I prefer not heavily edited replies in terms of font variance and colors but really don’t care that much.

XII.  I’ve probably forgotten relevant things but, who knows.

XIII.  No drama.  Period.  I’m not interested.  

XIV.  I’m here for fun.  I’m really pretty easy going.  If you have any questions feel free to toss them into my inbox!

[thisbluespirit]

Tagged by @pers-books

Last listened to: The Light - Sara Bareilles. Although I am also listening (in other types of audio) to the BBC's Vivat Rex and enjoying it very much (currently on the Henry IV installment with Robert Hardy, Martin Jarvis, Robert Powell, Anthony Quayle & Patrick Troughton).

Reading: The Element of Fire by Martha Wells, but I've only just started it.

Watching: As I may have mentioned, Glorious 39 (2009), which I'm enjoying, especially for the Romola Garai. (Currently fairly confident that Bill Nighy is the actual instigator of the Sinister Plot, but less sure about where everyone else stands or who's most likely to die next.)

Current obsession: idk, maybe my current origfic is the nearest I can think of, but I'm not sure I am obsessed with anything at the moment!

Tagging: @herawell @lurking-latinist @basiltheratatouille @maryellencarter @captain-aralias @jurijurijurious @mariocki and anyone else who wants to do it, including the important people I should most definitely not have forgotten!

[askstrangeweird]

I need to talk about Strange's default outfit design and apologize.

Recently I found the image on the left browsing Google, and clearly, the design is not mine.

Ive been recently working on new character designs, in which sometimes part of my process includes looking on Google at references of clothing or designs similar to styles I like to get inspiration from or use as reference, so I recently became aware that I've made a huge mental and error with my main OC, Strange Weird and have been for years now, and that I feel I owe a public apology to @jurinova, because long story short, I've learned that ive been using a design from your outfit meme for a few years as if it was my own my design as a mistake and I'm deeply sorry. It was never my intention to take a design of yours and claim it as my own, and certainly not for as long as I have without realizing it, and to anyone I ever told it was my design I am sorry I misled you and was mistaken. I was not purposely trying to be dishonest or lie, or steal, even unknowingly another's design.

To be fully open and transparent, I do suffer from memory issues, and that's not me making excuses, just trying to explain while taking accountability. I honestly don't remember ever even seeing the outfit meme in the first place or where but when I stumbled upon it recently I knew I had to have seen and used it while first designing Strange years ago and forgotten somehow that the outfit was from a meme had seen

No one else pointed this out to me or asked me to say anything, I want to take accountability on it myself, especially after exploring jurinova's blog, seeing more of their posts and how they seem to be supportive of other artists in general, and seeing a specific post where they clarified that of course, the outfits were not for permanent use, of course of which as another artist and someone who has made my own outfit memes before, I completely understand that and would have assumed if i hadn't clearly dropped the ball years ago and forgotten the outfit was even from a meme at all. I'm embarrassed and feel bad for any credit or attention I've taken from you.

Going forward, I've already started working on at least a completely new default outfit from scratch for Strange, as well, will slowly start to edit key art like reference sheets, icons, and the comic cover in the pinned post that ive already made including this outfit that isn't actually mine to a new outfit I'm 110% will be original. I will also attempt to go back to previous posts and give proof credit where possible as and when I'm able. I can guarantee, even considering my memory struggles that lead to this, that this was a one off mistake too. No other OC I've made has an outfit that wasn't designed from scratch. Now also I've taken steps to make sure of it and to keep better self notes to keep track of what my design inspiration and influence are for things so I know I'm only taking inspiration not just blatantly taking another's design, even for just an outfit.

I will have the new default outfit for Strange hopefully done soon and will start phasing the old taken design out completely to show respect to the original designer's wishes and art as whole, in attempts to make amends. For now I'll end by saying, that I would like to apologize to Jurinova again genuinely and encourage anyone reading this to go show them support and give them a follow or read their webcomic like I have begun too.

[91587942]

Every ship I’ve ever liked in a mostly chronological order

I’ve tried to include most ships I’ve liked from when i was a child to now as an adult (18). I’ve definitely forgotten quite a few since ive been shipping shit since i was like 8. Also like half of these make me what to shoot myself so character growth has occurred dont judge me too harshly

Percy/Annabeth

Percy/Nico

Aphmou/Gareth

Aphmou/Lawrence

Gareth/Lawrence

Zane/Travis

Frisk/Chara

Newscapepro/Shelby(frisk)

Nico/Will

Karkat/John

Karkat/Dave

Dave/John

Karkat/John/Dave

Samgladiator/Grian

Septic Sam/Tiny Box Tim

jacksepticeye/Markiplier

Dan/Phil

Alex/Mangus Chase

Bam/Khun

Peridot/Lapiz

Marik/Bakura

Somethingelseyt/Theodd1sout

Nagisa/Karma

L/Light

Craig/Tweak

Pidge/Lance

Quirrel/Tiso

Ghost/Grimm

Blitz/Stolaz

Grian/Mumbo

Skeppy/BBH

Ranboo/Tubbo

Fundy/Dream

DNF 🤢🤢🤢

Grian/Scar

Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood

Elias/Peter Lukas

Gertrude/Agnes

John/Arthur

S tier/D tier

Sun Wukong/Six Eared Macaque (LMK)

Megumi/Itadori

VR-LA/Maxim

Siffrin/Isabeau

Siffrin/Loop

Siffrin/Loop/isabeau

Kabru/laios

Yi/Kuafu

kim dokja/yoo jonghyuk (no spoilers for this one im only 80% through the book)

Okay that’s a good chunk of the ones I can remember if anyone else feels like putting themselves on blast I’d love to see it! :>

[fallsfcrged]

            going to try and keep this pretty simple & straightforward.

I.  You must be 18+ to interact with me. 21+ is preferred.

            There will be not safe for work content on this blog of the sexual and potentially of the graphic violence nature.  I do tag everything that might be triggering and am happy to tag whatever you ask me to so long as I remember!

                            I ask that you tag any visuals containing spiders with spider tw* spiders tw* arachnophobia tw* etc etc and yes, I know it’s a weird one but anything about the taste of soap or eating soap is a trigger so just tag it with soap tw* or penny don’t look* as I have that blacklisted too.  I don’t have any triggering fcs or what not.

II. This blog is multi-ship, multi-verse, crossover & au friendly.  

          Every ship is in its’ own verse unless previously discussed with all parties.  Every thread or set of threads takes place in its own universe unless previously discussed with all parties.

III.  I write anything from one-liners to novellas, it really just depends on life, my headspace, how much sleep I’ve been getting, how much else I have going on in real life, etc.

IV. My activity is NOT consistent.  I am infamous for blog hopping.  I have literally replied to some starters / replies years+ after they were originally written.  I am not fast.  If I am fast, it’s by some small miracle and perfect storm of brain, muse and free time.  It will not last.

V. I’m 42.  I have kids, cats, & dogs; I am in college, I have a household to take care of and I have many physical and mental handicaps that can affect my ability to function and write, including but not limited to rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, spinal stenosis, ganglion cysts, torn meniscus, migraines, hypothyroidism, PMDD, nerve damage, herniated disc, ADHD, depression, anxiety, C-PTSD and severe insomnia.  

                          Roleplay is something I do for fun.  

                                  If it isn’t fun, I don’t do it.  

                                         If it’s stressing me out, I’ll avoid it.  

VI. I do graphic commissions.  

          I run @tuppencetrinkets where I post the millions of screencaps and 200x100 icons that I make.  The resources are free but donations are always appreciated as I pay about $40 in hosting / program fees a month.   My commissions are always pay what you can.  I hate setting prices because I want everyone to have pretties if they want them and I don’t know what anyone can afford at any given time.  I do everything from base icons to edited icons, backgrounds, headers, dividers, promos, videos, you name it.  I try to be quick with turnaround but again – sometimes I just can’t be.

VII.  I am fine with plotting things out in advance or winging it.  I really don’t care, whatever you are more comfortable with is fine with me.

               I like all kinds of plots.  I like fluffy things, slice of life, broships, frenemies, enemies, familial, found family, long arcing, one shot throwaway, dark and twisted, you name it plots.  I will not write n*ncon or anything nsfw themed /even hinted at with minor characters and I won’t write any explicit child death etc. but most everything else is fair game.

VIII.  You can throw a million memes at me any time you want to.

IX.  You can throw any and all starters at me any time you want to.

                I’m not necessarily mutual exclusive but I don’t guarantee I’ll respond to memes or starters from non-mutual blogs.

X. I use icons, headers, promos etc. that I make myself 99% of the time.  Please do not use any of my edited graphics.  All base icons I use are free and available on my resource blog.  

XI. I use small text and my icons are 200x100 with empty space to make them 540x130 so that they don’t stretch out on mobile.  I prefer not heavily edited replies in terms of font variance and colors but really don’t care that much.

XII.  I’ve probably forgotten relevant things but, who knows.

XIII.  No drama.  Period.  I’m not interested.  

XIV.  I’m here for fun.  I’m really pretty easy going.  If you have any questions feel free to toss them into my inbox!

[forestryfae]

so first of all i need rly need a bike. fucking nice. i have one but from what i remember its too tall plus its been in the garage for like 5 years. so thats a nice thing to waste money on

secondly i need more pants, some of the thinner ones are starting to get too small. again.

thirdly i was p much woken up with "you need to move rooms today" an hour before work like three or four months ago and i was told id be moving into a FINISHED room. it resulted in me complaining for 3 months that my room didnt have a heater, the lights in the entryway and room didnt work, and the light in the bathroom is screaming at me.

so instead of like. fixing any of this they just stole a lightbulb from the room i was in before i moved and put it in my new room. they also checked the lamp in the bathroom but "i cant hear anything" so they just didnt fix the screeching. i still havent gotten anew lightbulb in the hall and i finally got heater sometime during summer vacation

forth of all they also. keep fucking changing the rules. some of the people here will happily wait five minutes extra for people without them needing to ask and gladly comes knocking on tveir door, but some of them will tell you you need to let them know youll be 2 minutes late or theyll just leave without you. like what the fuck. i cant be a minute or two late so i can grab my fucking work clothes before i go to work??

why do some of these people get special treatment. why do they get extra care while i can be in my room crying for two days and noone notices. if im upset they usually dont talk to me unless im angry enough at them specifically to either scream or slam doors but any other person being sad warrants repeated attempts at a fucking intervention to fix everything. they dont come to my room if im not there for something they know id enjoy but theyll come get anyone else no problem. its person to person too so some of the workers very clearly have better communication and bonds with certain people and prioritize them and easily ask them to do stuff

i cant even talk to my fucking contacts or tell people when im so sad i dont know why im alive and im frequently forgotten about and ignored, and its not like i can say "i need people to actually show me im welcome and wanted because of how ive been treated in the past and how my brain is wired to anticipate social settings" xus thats not a real thing. im just being attentionseeking and whiny and ill just hear i "should be afraid to talk to people" and i "have to show initiative" and i shouldnt put the responsibility of whatever onto other people but like. its always been like that. im not welcome or expected unless im specifically invited, noone indirectly invites me then gets surprised that i didnt join or asks if im coming. most invitations are aimed at everyone too.

and im trying so hard too. i try so hard to fit in and act the way i think people would like, cus i know noone likes me when i try to just be myself, and somehow im still not likeable enougj. but if someones cranky or antisocial and generally harder to get to join or get out of their rooms thats fine, theyll try harder w that person. not with me though.

like. would be fucking nice if someone else could take the role of making sure im included because im wanted for once.instead of me having to do that myself and constantly worrying about it being a hit or miss. would be really fucking nice if someone could ask if im sad or upset in a genuine manner instead of fucking asking "how are you" or "what are you doing". noone asks how are you because they want to know how youre doing, they ask cus they want you to tell them youre okay so they dont have to talk to you. never in my life has either of thise questions meant anything other than say okay so i can congratulate myself for caring when i dont. its like saying hi. its not meant to be a real conversation.

like i really miss being able to say im not okay and being able to be angry. i literally cant do that anymore, im too numb to be angry, i dont know how to validate myself, none of my problems are big enough to be real, none of my feelings matter unless someone else says its ok to feel stuff, i cant say anything is wrong cus then im whiny and negative, i cant complain cus thats annoying and selfish, i cant have needs cus thats selfish, self centered, and egoistical and im not the only person in the world and im not the only one who matters, and i cant have stuff i want cus thats cringey. thats embarrassing.

i want a new house? i have one so why am i complaining, im only miserable cus im not trying hard enough to enjoy living there. i just need to go on walks daily and find something to do during the day. in an area where i dont know the forest with a budget of nothing if i wanna eat the last two weeks of the month without wasting my 1k nok in savings

i want family to come visit me? (not anymore but i used to) tough luck people have their own lives and are too busy to drive 30-45 minutes to spend a couple hours with me or help me with things they specifically told me theyd help me with like. once in a while. maybe even just once or twice a month. but if i call ahead i can take the train and come visit them for 6-8 hours minimum. i pay the ticket ofc. fuck them.

i want something new, like furniture im going to use or just a funky trinket i found or i want some new hobby materials for a hobby i wanna try? no i dont. you dont NEED that, you wont even use it, its a waste of money. no fun allowed.

i cant even talk about stuff i wanna DO or try or anything cus it doesnt matter. its not important so it doesnt matter. its not big enough. its all too small and its not interesting enough. nothing i say is worth listening to even if its the exact same shit everyone else talks about.

like. i just dont get it. theres clearly something very wrong here and i know my family is a huge reason for that but i just dont understand how everything works vs is supposed to work vs isnt supposed to work. i have no concept of normal and fucked up behaviour, i literally cant tell shit apart. i can tell when something upsets me, sometimes, but thats not a good enough reason to be angry or upset, and i cant base my social interactions on that. i cant tell if im uncomfortable or not either so thats fun. not that it matters.

like. idk. i just want a lightbulb so my room isnt so dark in the evening. i dont think its too much to ask. i dont think its an unfair accusation that i think itll take a week or two atleast before i get one and theyll forget i still need one for the entryway. they dont even have any extra lightbulbs so we dont have to go several days without a working ceiling light. they just never bought any.

[alphalesbian]

.