#im thinking abt lupin again

[m0th-rambles]

Save me lupin the iii. Come down from the heavens and save me

[makowo]

can we please hear about your ocs. i cant recall any details but sara's general energy intrigues me

SARA!!!! SARA V54.111 is a robot finished in 1984 that was made to revolutionize current technology at the time. It was named after the original creator's deceased daughter, Sarah Andrews, who was supposed to finish the initial prototype but died 10 years prior via electrocution while working on it. After the robot was accepted into HPA as the Ultimate Robot and earned notoriety, the team working on the SARA Project aimed to expand it into a full production line with SARA V56, for initially private use for businesses and wealthy investors, then for eventual public use, scheduled to begin in autumn of 1985.

Sara fucking hates this though. Though he is bound by his code, he holds a LOT of resentment for People, as they never treat him as a human no matter how much they want to make him emulate one. She wants to stay herself, unique, be a Person, in the memory of Sarah and for her own life.

Of course, he never gets that chance, really. Despite his resentment, he still genuinely cares for people, even as he denies it to manipulate them at every turn. Within her kind veneer is still at least a bit of sincerity. She's still got all the makings of a human, after all. It's why she plays Tetris with Erin to keep her occupied while everyone else explores a scary cave, why she's so hasty to help Elijah when he exposes himself to poison, why she listens to and trusts the most hated person in the group, up until the end. She cares.

But he still suffers from the want to live. He's selfish in that regard; it's why he becomes the traitor in the killing game he gets into, and why he sacrifices his arm to get his bomb collar off in a later chapter, why he lies to them in the final trial to sway their vote in his favor. He just really wants to survive.

She went off the deep end in the final trial, when she was finally put to death. And she said the most vitriolic things she could think of in that moment, weaponizing the things she knew about the survivors to hurt them in the worst ways. However, whether it was because she genuinely hated them or was just so scared to die that she tried to turn their back on the survivors of the game is a matter of debate. She's gone forever, and the survivors won't ever know for sure.

[everythingharrypotterblog]

charmed [16]: 'cat, rat, dog, and dove' (remus lupin x reader)

a/n: WELCOME BACK TO CHARMED. WE ARE HERE. we have arrived to this moment. BUCKLE THE FUCKING FUCK UP.

brief summary: the year has culminated into this one fateful night at the shrieking shack. word count: 9k

series summary: if you're here, u know what this series is abt im not gonna waste space and recopy it here THIS CHAPTER IS ALREADY TOO LOADED.

series masterlist here

join taglist here

16.

The sun was out. Its rays peeking through the leaves of trees, their heat was much stronger in this month of spring than it was in autumn, when Y/N and Remus took their first early morning walk to escape from the Castle. It became a habit they maintained all school year, and it was so hard to believe that they had already walked their way to final examinations season. Two terms had rolled by, laying down all the tiles needed to strengthen their relationship even more.

Y/N’s arm was around Remus’ bicep. It was warm enough now for them to abandon their jackets, and they strolled through the Castle grounds in simple button-ups.

Remus peeked down at Y/N, who by reflex caught his eye. He shut an eye tightly in an exaggerated wink. Y/N smiled, resting her head against his arm for a second.

“Can’t wait for our kid to experience all that is Hogwarts.” Remus said.

Y/N’s eyebrows knit together as she beamed up at him.

“Rem…”

Their chests burned from elation as they continued in their stride.

“Thinking a bit ahead though, don’t you think, we’ve got more than 11 years before we get to that point.” Y/N chuckled.

“Oh, you’re right. Before that, it’ll be you n’ me teaching them.”

“I agree with you. Sending them to Muggle primary school seems way too risky for exposure.”

“I do worry about socialization though.”

“Hmm. Me too. We should probably get in touch with other wizard families that have children the same age as ours.”

They came to a small halt as they overlooked the train tracks.

“I can’t wait for our kid to get on the train for the first time.” Y/N sighed.

Remus patted her hand in his. “What did you feel your first time on it?”

“Terrified.” Y/N chortled. “I was anxious even as a child. You?”

“Me too. But I guess, something really deep inside me- I don’t know. I just felt like my life was going to change, I guess.”

Y/N smiled softly at the gentle man before her.

“And we have to take that train really soon again.”

“Yeah.”

“Crazy.”

They continued walking, the castle of Hogwarts standing tall against them, hovering and watching over them as it has done for so long.

+

As the year continued to draw to a close, the exam season proceeded on. Today were the Charms finals for the 3rd-years, as well as the 5th-years’ OWL’s. Even the Weasley twins had been spotted with their books open, working in a corner of the library.

Y/N downed the last of her tea, as she rifled through a pack of fresh grading sheets. She waved her wand, and yesterday’s 2nd-year evaluations floated upwards, inserted themselves neatly in a folder, and slid themselves into her briefcase.

She clapped her hands together and got up to the door, opening it to a crowd of her 3rd-years. 

“Ready?”

She let them trickle in and take their seats at the individually separated desks. Walking through the aisles, she placed an exam sheet on each one facing down.

“Alright, everyone, please get your things straight and then leave your bags up here in the front. Remember, you’re only allowed your quills for the written part.”

“You guys have one hour. Don’t forget to check both sides of the paper. Time starts… now.”

A synchronized whoosh of 30 papers being flipped over echoed across the room, followed by the etching of quills.

Y/N hated the written exams. She had nothing to do but to count the tiles in the classroom and twiddle her thumbs.

She was on her 5th recount of how many tiles spanned from one wall to another when a figure flashed in her peripheral.

Remus had passed by and judging the complete silence, assumed Y/N was sitting an exam. He waved cheerily, happy he had opted for practical examinations. Y/N rolled her eyes when she spotted him. Remus turned back around and passed the classroom door again.

“STOP.” Y/N mouth silently, gesturing to her students.

A few of them looked up and laughed, leading to a few more turning their heads.

“Enough.” Y/N shook her head, waving her wand and the door slammed shut, Remus disappearing from their sights.

“Professor Lupin’s just gloating that all his finals are over.” Y/N hushed the group. “Now get on, I’m not giving you extra time.”

She winked at the end, and the students returned to their scrolls, the atmosphere in the classroom noticeably lighter.

+

Light filled the room as Y/N clicked the lamp open. She turned to her side to find Remus wide awake as well.

“Can’t sleep?” She muttered.

“Nope.”

Y/N huffed, stacking her pillows and coming up to a seated position.

“It’s the full moon soon. How are you feeling?”

“The usual.” Remus yawned, turning on his side. He examined the grey circles under Y/N’s eyes through his wrinkle-decorated own. “I just feel a bit weird.”

“Hm.” Y/N responded. “Me too.”

“We’re probably just tired from so many back to back exams and all the grading.”

“Yeah. And my heart is kind of hurting. I just can’t really believe this year is ending. This has been the best job I’ve ever had in my whole life.”

Remus slid his hand under the covers to find hers.

“All good things must come to an end, my love.”

Y/N smiled sadly.

“What are the odds Flitwick needs another year off, eh?”

Remus chuckled.

Y/N clicked the lamp off and the two laid back in once again total darkness. Outside their window, roamed the creatures of the night. Centaurs, unicorns trudging across the Forbidden Forest, Dementors floating outside the Castle perimeter, and strolling stealthily in the Hogsmeade village; a ginger cat and its newfound friend, a big shaggy black dog.

+

Remus strolled along on his daily walk of the Castle grounds. Y/N had opted to stay in bed well into the afternoon that day, feeling more tired than usual.

He found a tree stump near Hagrid’s Hut and installed himself comfortably under it. He pulled a book from the pocket of his robes and opened it to the page he had last marked. About three quarters of an hour passed when he noticed Harry, Hermione and Ron come down and go into Hagrid’s. He returned to his book.

A small while later, he noticed more figures make their way to that direction.  One sported a bowler hat, which he recognized as the Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, and two wizards followed him. One of them had a shiny axe attached to his belt, which glistened when it caught the sun.

Comprehension dawned upon Remus. He had heard of Hagrid’s Hippogriff case with Malfoy and the Ministry, and Y/N had told him in passing of the Harry and his friends’ interest in the outcome.

They emerged from the hut and crossed paths with the men. Remus closed his book. Those three better not involve themselves any further with the case, he thought. He didn’t want them to be exposed to the execution.

+

"THE DARK LORD LIES ALONE AND FRIENDLESS, ABANDONED BY HIS FOLLOWERS. HIS SERVANT HAS BEEN CHAINED THESE TWELVE YEARS. TONIGHT, BEFORE 

MIDNIGHT... THE SERVANT WILL BREAK FREE AND SET OUT TO REJOIN HIS MASTER. THE DARK LORD WILL RISE AGAIN WITH HIS SERVANTS AID, GREATER AND 

MORE TERRIBLE THAN EVER HE WAS. TONIGHT... BEFORE MIDNIGHT... THE SERVANT... WILL SET OU... TO REJOIN... HIS MASTER.... 

Harry dropped the crystal ball he was supposed to return to Professor Trelawney and ran.

Thus began a very fateful night.

+

Remus walked through the Castle that evening and felt a weird shift in the air. Exams were over sure, but there was a certain trio that seemed the opposite of celebratory. Making his way down to the Great Hall, he took a seat next to Professor Sprout.

“Evening, Lupin.” She said happily.

“Good evening, Professor.” He responded kindly.

“Y/N coming soon?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m not sure, she’s taking a nap now. She’s been awfully tired this past week.”

“That’s okay, classic end-of-year burnout” she replied, then proceeded to ask him how if he had finished all his grading.

Remus conversed with her a bit distractedly as he watched over the Gryffindor table, spotting Harry, Ron and Hermione. They were visibly pre-occupied and were huddled away from the other students, discussing seriously.

“Have you heard from Hagrid? Poor thing, his Hippogriff’s been sentenced to death today. It’s going to happen tonight, any minute now actually I think.”

Remus turned to face her. “Really? That’s horrible…”

Professor Sprout pursed her lips in agreement before taking another bite of chicken.

Remus looked over at the trio again. They were standing up hastily, walking out of the Hall with quick little steps. He frowned. What were they up to?

He took the time to finish his dinner calmly and bid the fellow staff goodbye. Making his way back into his office, he pulled out his things quietly as the bedroom door was still shut; Y/N was probably still asleep.

He took a seat at his desk and pulled out what looked like an old used piece of parchment.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

The map opened and unfolded as traces of ink bled upon its pages, forming its intricate content. He scanned it quickly, before turning his attention to Hagrid’s Hut. Hagrid’s dot was there, along with Dumbledore’s and other names he assumed were Ministry officials.

Running along the path to his Hut, he stopped at the two dots moving right under the Whomping Willow. It was Harry and Hermione. Where was Ron? What were they doing by that tree?

A thought popped in his head and his stomach sank. He moved up the map, praying to God that his far-fetched conjecture wouldn’t be true. Landing on Hogsmeade Village, he looked for the Shrieking Shack. The weight in his stomach sank even further. Ron’s dot was there, accompanied by none other than… Sirius Black.

His hands shook. He had to go help him. But as he watched the dots move, a third one came into view.

It was labelled “Peter Pettigrew”.

At that second, the blood had left Remus’ face. His hands grew cold. He shook the paper. He rapped his wand at it. He blinked and blinked again. The dot was still there, labelled with that name as clear as day.

In that very moment, a 13 year-old puzzle just came together with this one final piece. The web wove itself to completion. He understood… Stuffing his wand in his pocket, he jumped out of his chair and sped out the door.

+

In the Shrieking Shack, blood pressures were high.

Ron lay in the corner, with his weight off his broken leg, clutching his rat Scabbers. Hermione stood in the corner, quiet and pale.

Harry was fuming, frozen with his wand lifted and pointed to a ghastly, ghost-like Sirius Black.

"Going to kill me, Harry?" he whispered. 

Harry stopped right above him, his wand still pointing at Black's chest, looking down at him. A livid bruise was rising around Black's left eye and his nose was bleeding. 

"You killed my parents," said Harry, his voice shaking slightly, but his wand hand quite steady. 

Black stared up at him out of those sunken eyes. 

"I don't deny it," he said very quietly. "But if you knew the whole story." 

"The whole story?" Harry repeated, a furious pounding in his ears. "You sold them to Voldemort. That's all I need to know." 

"You've got to listen to me," Black said, and there was a note of urgency in his voice now. "You'll regret it if you don't.... You don't understand...." 

"I understand a lot better than you think," said Harry, and his voice shook more than ever. "You never heard her, did you? My mum... trying to stop Voldemort killing me... and you did that... you did it...." 

Crookshanks jumped in between the two and sat itself at Black’s feet, looking back at Harry with deep yellow eyes.

The seconds lengthened. And still Harry stood frozen there, wand poised, Black staring up at him, Crookshanks on his chest. Ron's ragged breathing came from near the bed; Hermione was quite silent. 

And then came a new sound - 

Muffled footsteps were echoing up through the floor — someone was moving downstairs. 

"WE'RE UP HERE!" Hermione screamed suddenly. "WE'RE UP HERE -- SIRIUS BLACK - QUICK!" 

Professor Lupin came hurtling into the room, his face bloodless, his wand raised and ready. His eyes flickered over Ron, lying on the floor, over Hermione, cowering next to the door, to Harry, standing there with his wand covering Black, and then to Black himself, crumpled and bleeding at Harry's feet. 

"Expelliarmus!" Lupin shouted. 

Harry's wand flew once more out of his hand; so did the two Hermione was holding. Lupin caught them all deftly, then moved into the room, staring at Black, who still had Crookshanks lying protectively across his chest. 

+

Y/N woke up to a dark room. She groaned and rubbed her eyes. Her entire face felt scorching hot and her mouth was dry like she hadn’t drank in days. She rolled over in the bed. She had crawled under her blankets in the evening before dinner for a quick nap, but judging by the chill and dark air outside, she must have slept into early night.

She felt a tightness in her pelvic area, like cramps. She placed a hand on her abdomen.

Pulling herself out of bed lazily, she head to the bathroom. Her period was supposed to start a few days ago, so this must’ve been it. However, as she sat down on the toilet, there was nothing.

Suddenly, a realization jolted her mind awake.

She ran back to the bedroom, rummaging through her drawer for a pregnancy test. She went back to the bathroom and waited for the result.

Positive.

She put down the test swiftly, looking away as she felt her heartbeat quicken. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Slowly, she picked up the stick and read the result once more.

Holy shit.

She looked around her and it occurred to her that Remus was nowhere to be found. She checked the clock. It was well past 10pm. 

Where the hell was he?

+

"Where is he, Sirius?" 

Remus spoke in a tense voice, cutting through the weighted silence that took over the Shrieking Shack.

Black's face was quite expressionless. For a few seconds, he didn't move at all. Then, very slowly, he raised his empty hand and pointed straight at Ron. 

Mystified, Harry glanced around at Ron, who looked bewildered. 

"But then..." Lupin muttered, staring at Black so intently it seemed he was trying to read his mind, "... why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless" -- Lupin's eyes suddenly widened, as though he was seeing something beyond Black, something none of the rest could see, "-- unless he was the one... unless you switched... without telling me?" 

Very slowly, his sunken gaze never leaving Lupin's face, Black nodded. 

"Professor," Harry interrupted loudly, "what's going on --?" 

But Harry wasn’t able to finish his sentence, as what followed knocked the wind from his throat.

Remus lowered his wand. He walked to Sirius’ side, seized his hand confidently and pulled him to his feet. He gazed deeply into his eyes for a second, before the two men pulled each other into a deep embrace.

“I don’t believe it—“ Remus gasped, voice muffled.

“God, it’s been so long,” Sirius muttered back, “my friend.”

"DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Hermione screamed. 

Lupin let go of Black and turned to her. She had raised herself off the floor and was pointing at Lupin, wild-eyed. "You -- you --" 

"Hermione —"

“— you and him!" 

"Hermione, calm down —" 

"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you —" 

"Hermione, listen to me, please'" Lupin shouted. "I can explain —" 

Harry could feel himself shaking, not with fear, but with a fresh wave of fury. 

"I trusted you," he shouted at Lupin, his voice wavering, out of control, "and all the time you've been his friend!" 

"You're wrong," said Lupin. "I haven't been Sirius's friend, but I am now — Let me explain...." 

"NO!" Hermione screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too -- he's a werewolf!" 

There was a ringing silence. Everyone's eyes were now on Lupin, who looked remarkably calm, though rather pale. 

+

Where the hell was he?

Y/N’s head was spinning as too much was happening at the same time. She glanced around hurriedly for signs of Remus, then remembered she was clutching the positive pregnancy test and looked back at the positive result, then saw the Marauder’s Map was splayed across the desk, still open.

She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She stuffed the test in her pocket then headed towards his desk. She’d be able to find where Remus was on the map, then would go back to sleep.

It took a while for her eyes to scan the entire Castle for his name, to no avail. Where the hell was he? Surely he was not outside… It then dawned on her that tonight was the full moon.

Shit. 

She looked over to the Shrieking Shack and nothing could have prepared her to see what she saw. Not one, but six dots. One was Remus, but he was accompanied by Harry, Ron and Hermione, as well as…

Y/N felt her heart freeze. Sirius Black? And… Peter… Pettigrew?

None of this felt possible. It couldn’t be. Grabbing her wand, she rushed out the office.

With this new information, the full moon had completely been replaced in her mind. Unfortunately, the only one who did seem to still remember was a certain Potions professor, on his way up to their office right now, where the map laid wide open.

+

"Not at all up to your usual standard, Hermione," Remus said. "Only one out of three, I'm afraid. I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle and I certainly don't want Harry dead.”  An odd shiver passed over his face. "But I won't deny that I am a werewolf." 

Ron made a valiant effort to get up again but fell back with a whimper of pain. Lupin made toward him, looking concerned, but Ron gasped, "Get away from me, werewolf!" 

Lupin stopped dead. Then, with an obvious effort, he turned to Hermione and said, "How long have you known?" 

"Ages," Hermione whispered. "Since I did Professor Snape's essay..." 

"He'll be delighted," said Lupin coolly. "He assigned that essay hoping someone would realize what my symptoms meant.... Did you check the lunar chart and realize that I was always ill at the full moon? Or did you realize that the boggart changed into the moon when it saw me?" 

"Both," Hermione said quietly. 

Lupin forced a laugh. 

"You're the cleverest witch of your age I've ever met, Hermione." 

"I'm not," Hermione whispered. "If I'd been a bit cleverer, I'd have told everyone what you are!" 

"But they already know," said Lupin. "At least, the staff do." 

“The staff? Does Professor Y/L/N know?” Ron gasped.

Sirius let out a howl of genuine laughter. “Professor Y/L/N!” He cackled. 

Remus scratched the back of his head, suddenly slightly bashful. “Professor Y/L/N and I… have been married for over 10 years.”

Harry, Ron and Hermione’s jaws dropped.

Silence fell over the room once again, as Remus stood there not knowing what to say next and Sirius standing by his side with his arms crossed, a slight smirk on his face.

“Well, we knew that!” Hermione exclaimed, finally. “That was more obvious than the werewolf thing! The whole school talks about it—“

She was interrupted as a new set of footsteps echoed from the staircase. The kids froze as Remus and Sirius turned to face the door, wands at the ready.

In burst Y/N, as if right on cue in a play. She was flushed and was panting, it appeared she had ran the whole way there. 

“Remus!” She cried out upon seeing him. “YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO—“ She took a step forward until she spotted his company, and slowly took the step back. “What…” She murmured shakily, “is happening here?”

“Professor Y/L/N.” Hermione gasped softly.

Her eyes hovered over Harry, Ron and Hermione, who were in shock to see their Charms Professor, before landing upon Sirius. Something unrecognizable flashed across her gaze. She couldn’t believe what, or whom, she was seeing. She had thought the map made a mistake.

Y/N didn’t hear her. “Siri…?” she whispered, fixated on the man in front of her.

That’s when Harry lost it.

“‘SIRI?’ I TRUSTED YOU TOO! SO THIS WHOLE TIME -BOTH- OF YOU HAVE BEEN HELPING HIM?”

Y/N jumped from the sudden outburst and Remus came by her side to put a soothing hand on her shoulder. “Remus, you better explain and you better explain quick.” She said tensely.

“We have not been helping Sirius," said Lupin. "If you'll give me a chance, I'll explain. Look —" 

He separated Harry's, Ron's and Hermione's wands and threw each back to its owner; Harry caught his, stunned. 

“There”, said Lupin, sticking his own wand back into his belt. "You're armed, we're not. Now will you listen?" 

"If you haven't been helping him," Harry said, with a furious glance at Black, "how did you know he was here?" 

"The map," said Lupin. "The Marauder's Map. I was in my office examining it —“

"You know how to work it?" Harry said suspiciously. 

"Of course I know how to work it," said Lupin, waving his hand impatiently. "I helped write it. I'm Moony — that was my friends' nickname for me at school." 

"You wrote —?" 

Y/N caught Harry’s eye and gave him a confirming nod.

"The important thing is, I was watching it carefully this evening, because I had an idea that you, Ron, and Hermione might try and sneak out of the castle to visit Hagrid before his hippogriff was executed. And I was right, wasn't I?” 

He had started to pace up and down, looking at them. Little patches of dust rose at his feet. 

"You might have been wearing your father's old cloak, Harry--" 

"How d'you know about the cloak?" 

"The number of times I saw James disappearing under it...," said Lupin, waving an impatient hand again. "The point is, even if you're wearing an Invisibility Cloak, you still show up on the Marauder's Map. I watched you cross the grounds and enter Hagrid's hut. Twenty minutes later, you left Hagrid, and set off back toward the castle. But you were now accompanied by somebody else." 

"What?" said Harry. "No, we weren't!" 

I couldn't believe my eyes," said Lupin, still pacing, and ignoring Harry's interruption. "I thought the map must be malfunctioning. How could he be with you?" 

"No one was with us!" said Harry. 

"And then I saw another dot, moving fast toward you, labeled Sirius Black.... I saw him collide with you; I watched as he pulled two of you into the Whomping Willow —"

"One of us!" Ron said angrily. 

"No, Ron," said Lupin. "Two of you.”

He had stopped his pacing, his eyes moving over Ron.

"Do you think I could have a look at the rat?" he said evenly.

"What?" said Ron. "What's Scabbers got to do with it?" 

"Everything," said Lupin. "Could I see him, please?" 

Ron hesitated, then put a hand inside his robes. Scabbers emerged, thrashing desperately; Ron had to seize his long bald tail to stop him escaping. Crookshanks stood up on Black's leg and made a soft hissing noise. 

Lupin moved closer to Ron. He seemed to be holding his breath as he gazed intently at Scabbers. 

"What?" Ron said again, holding Scabbers close to him, looking scared. 

"What's my rat got to do with anything?" 

"That's not a rat," croaked Sirius Black suddenly.

"What d'you mean — of course he's a rat —"

"No, he's not," said Lupin quietly. "He's a wizard.”

"An Animagus," said Black, "by the name of Peter Pettigrew." 

"You're both mental.”

"Ridiculous!" said Hermione faintly. 

"Peter Pettigrew's dead!" said Harry. "He killed him twelve years ago!" He pointed at Black, whose face twitched convulsively. 

"I meant to," he growled, his yellow teeth bared, "but little Peter got the better of me... not this time, though!" 

And Crookshanks was thrown to the floor as Black lunged at Scabbers; Ron yelled with pain as Black's weight fell on his broken leg. 

"Sirius, NO!" Lupin yelled, launching himself forwards and dragging Black away from Ron again, "WAIT! You can't do it just like that -- they need to understand -- we've got to explain --" 

"We can explain afterwards!" snarled Black, trying to throw Lupin off. 

Y/N joined and stepped in front of Sirius. “Sirius, please!” She put both hands on his shoulders, causing him to flinch. Her voice was shaking. “They deserve to know the full picture.”

Black stopped struggling, though his hollowed eyes were still fixed on Scabbers, who was clamped tightly under Ron's bitten, scratched, ad bleeding hands. “Fine. But make it quick. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for.”

"You're nutters, all three of you," said Ron shakily, looking round at Harry and Hermione for support. "I've had enough of this. I'm off." 

“Ron.” Y/N said sternly. “Sit down. I’m not joking, you’re going to listen.”

Hermione spoke, in a trembling, would-be calm sort of voice, as though trying to will Professor Lupin to talk sensibly. 

"But Professor Lupin... Scabbers can't be Pettigrew... it just can't be true, you know it can't..." 

"Why can't it be true?" Lupin said calmly, as though they were in class, and Hermione had simply spotted a problem in an experiment with grindylows. 

"Because... because people would know if Peter Pettigrew had been an Animagus. We did Animagi in class with Professor McGonagall. And I looked them up when I did my homework -- the Ministry of Magic keeps tabs on witches and wizards who can become animals; there's a register showing what animal they become, and their markings and things... and I went and looked Professor McGonagall up on the register, and there have been only seven Animagi this century, and Pettigrew's name wasn't on the list." 

Lupin and Y/N laughed.

"Light again, Hermione!" he said. "But the Ministry never knew that here used to be three unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts." 

Y/N cleared her throat.

“Sorry, four Animagi. Although we didn’t really know back then about you, my love.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Still, wanted to make sure you got the number right.”

Hermione’s eyes grew wider if it was even possible. “Professor Y/L/N, you’re an Animagus too?!”

Y/N nodded and gestured to Remus to proceed.

"All right... but you'll need to help me, Sirius," said Lupin, I only know how it began..." 

Lupin broke off. There had been a loud creak behind him. The bedroom door had opened of its own accord. All five of them stared at it. Then Lupin strode toward it and looked out into the landing. 

"No one there…"

"This place is haunted!" said Ron. 

"It's not," said Lupin, still looking at the door in a puzzled way. "The Shrieking Shack was never haunted.... The screams and howls the villagers used to hear were made by me." 

He pushed his graying hair out of his eyes, thought for a moment then said, "That's where all of this starts -- with my becoming a werewolf, None of this could have happened if I hadn't been bitter... and if I hadn't been so foolhardy..." 

He looked sober and tired. Ron started to interrupt, but Hermione, said, "Shh!" She was watching Lupin very intently. 

"I as a very small boy when I received the bite. My parents tried everything, but in those days there was no cure. The potion that Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week, preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform.... I'm able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for the moon to wane again. Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully fledged monster once a month. It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren't likely to want their children exposed to me. “

Hermione noticed a hint of sadness as she watched Y/N listen to her husband’s story.

"But then Dumbledore became Headmaster, and he was sympathetic. He said that as long as we took certain precautions, there was no reason I shouldn't come to school...." Lupin sighed, and looked directly at Harry. "I told you, months ago, that the Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. The truth is that it was planted because I came 

to Hogwarts. This house" -- Lupin looked miserably around the room, -- "the tunnel that leads to it -- they were built for my use. Once a month, I was smuggled out of the castle, into this place, to transform. The tree was placed at the tunnel mouth to stop anyone coming across me while I was dangerous." 

"My transformations in those days were -- were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead. The villagers heard the noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits. Dumbledore encouraged the rumor.... Even now, when the house has been silent for years, the villagers don't dare approach it...." 

"But apart from my transformations, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends. Sirius Black... Peter Pettigrew... and, of course, your father, Harry -- James Potter." 

Y/N sniffed.

"Now, my three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month. I made up all sorts of stories. I told them my mother was ill, and that I had to go home to see her... I was terrified they would desert me the moment they found out what I was. But of course, they, like you, Hermione, worked out the truth...." 

"And they didn't desert me at all. Instead, they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times 

of my life. They became Animagi." 

"My dad too?" said Harry, astounded. 

"Yes, indeed," said Lupin. "It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong -- one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius. Finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will." 

"But how did that help you?" said Hermione, sounding puzzled. 

"They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept me company as animals," said Lupin. "A werewolf is only a danger to people. They sneaked out of the castle every month under James's Invisibility Cloak. They transformed... Peter, as the smallest, could slip beneath the 

Willow's attacking branches and touch the knot that freezes it. They would then slip down the tunnel and join me. Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them." 

"Hurry up, Remus," snarled Black, who was still watching Scabbers with a horrible sort of hunger on his face. 

Y/N bit her lip as she dared to watch her old friend. She wanted to go touch him, comfort him, after so long… but she remained frozen on the spot as Remus continued.

"I'm getting there, Sirius, I'm getting there... well, highly exciting possibilities were open to us now that we could all transform. Soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check. I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did.... And that's how we came to write the Marauder's Map, and sign it with our nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs." 

"What sort of animal --?" Harry began, but Hermione cut him off. 

"That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you'd given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?" 

"A thought that still haunts me," said Lupin heavily. "And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless -- carried away with our own cleverness." 

I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore's trust, of course... he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others' safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month's adventure. And I haven't changed..." 

Lupin's face had hardened, and there was self-disgust in his voice. "All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn't do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I'd betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I'd led others along with me... and Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it... so, in a way, Snape's been right about me all along." 

��Don’t put it all on yourself,” Y/N said grimly. “The blame’s to share. We both decided to not go to Dumbledore.”

"Snape?" said Black harshly, taking his eyes off Scabbers; for the first time in minutes and looking up at Lupin. "What's Snape got to do with it?" 

"He's here, Sirius," said Lupin heavily. "He's teaching here as well." He looked up at Harry, Ron, and Hermione. 

"Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore A year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons... you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly 

killed him, a trick which involved me —" Black made a derisive noise. Y/N shushed him.

“Oh, Y/N, don’t go defending him now—“ Sirius chuckled.

“I’m not! I’m just— Rem, continue the story.” She said, crossing her arms defensively.

The two exchanged looks between each other, a bit of playfulness coming from Sirius’ end whereas Y/N still looked conflicted about being in his presence.

"Severus was very interested in where I went every month." Lupin told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We were in the same year, you know, and we -- er -- didn't like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on the Quidditch field... anyway Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be -- er -- amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it -- if he'd got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf -- but your father, who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life... Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from that time on he knew what I was...." 

"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," said Harry slowly, "because he thought you were in on the joke?" 

"That's right," sneered a cold voice from the wall behind Lupin. 

Severus Snape was pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointing, directly at Lupin. 

Hermione screamed. Black leapt to his feet. Harry felt as though he'd received a huge electric shock. 

Y/N gasped and clutched her stomach. Black slowly grabbed her shoulders and placed himself in front of her protectively.

"I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow," said Snape, throwing the cloak aside, careful to keep this wand pointing directly at Lupin's chest. "Very useful, Potter, I thank you...." 

Snape was slightly breathless, but his face was full of suppressed triumph. "I've just been to your office, Lupin. You forgot to take your potion tonight, so I took a gobletful along. And very lucky I did... lucky for me, I mean. Lying on your desk was a certain map. One glance at it told me all I needed to know. I saw you running along this passageway and out of sight." 

"Severus --" Lupin began, but Snape overrode him. 

"I've told the headmaster again and again that you're helping your old friend Black into the castle, Lupin, and here's the proof. Not even I dreamed you would have the nerve to use this old place as your hideout — and you too Y/L/N. Here you are helping him out, a real criminal couple you two are…”

"Severus, you're making a mistake," said Lupin urgently. "You haven't heard everything -- I can explain -- Sirius is not here to kill Harry --" 

"Three more for Azkaban tonight," said Snape, his eyes now gleaming fanatically. “Though I do feel bad for you, Y/L/N, you never should have gotten involved… in the first place…I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this.... He was quite convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin... a tame werewolf —" 

“Don’t - you - fucking - dare—“ Y/N said through gritted teeth, wanting to lunge forward to strike Snape, but Sirius and Remus caught her arms, holding her back.

“How sweet.” Snape said sardonically.

"You fool," said Lupin softly. "Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?" 

BANG! Thin, snakelike cords burst from the end of Snape's wand and twisted themselves around Lupin's mouth, wrists, and ankles; he overbalanced and fell to the floor, unable to move. Y/N screamed, throwing herself down to check on him. With a roar of rage, Black started toward Snape, but Snape pointed his wand straight between Black's eyes. 

"Give me a reason," he whispered. "Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will." 

Black stopped dead. It would have been impossible to say which face showed more hatred. 

Harry stood there, paralyzed, not knowing what to do or whom to believe. He glanced around at Ron and Hermione. Ron looked just as confused as he did, still fighting to keep hold on the struggling Scabbers. Hermione, however, took an uncertain step toward Snape and said, in a very breathless voice, "Professor Snape -- it it wouldn't hurt to hear what they've got to say, w -- would it?" 

"Miss Granger, you are already facing suspension from this school," Snape spat. "You, Potter, and Weasley are out-of-bounds, in the company of a convicted murderer and a werewolf. For once in your life, hold your tongue." 

Y/N whipped her head around, hearing the way Snape was beginning to speak to Hermione.

"But if -- if there was a mistake --" 

"KEEP QUIET, YOU STUPID GIRL!" Snape shouted, looking suddenly quite deranged. "DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" A few sparks shot out of the end of his wand, which was still pointed at Black's face. Hermione fell silent. 

“ENOUGH!” Y/N jumped up, pulling her wand out and pointing it straight at Snape. “Hermione, get back.”

“Step aside, Y/L/N. You don’t know what you’re doing.” He grunted.

“I said, get back, all three of you.” Y/N snapped, Harry and Hermione hurrying and backing up to where Ron laid.

“Severus, I’m serious, you need to hear them out.” Y/N said. Her voice was steely. She moved out from behind Sirius and inched her way closer to Snape, softly but steadily like a cat.

Snape ignored her. Remus struggled against his binds, his eyes not leaving Y/N. But deep down, he knew he didn’t have to worry. He had seen her fight during the first Wizarding War, and he knew how much more powerful of a witch she had grown into. Snape unfortunately, did not, as he returned his attention to Sirius.

"Vengeance is very sweet," Snape breathed at Black. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you...." 

"The joke's on you again, Severus," Black snarled. "As long as this boy brings his rat up to the castle" -- he jerked his head at Ron -- "I'll come quietly...." 

"Up to the castle?" said Snape silkily. "I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black... pleased enough to give you a little kiss, I daresay... I --" 

What little color there was in Blacks face left it. 

"You -you've got to hear me out," he croaked. "The rat -- look at the rat --" 

But there was a mad glint in Snape's eyes that had never been seen before. He seemed beyond reason. 

"Come on, all of you," he said. He clicked his fingers, and the ends of the cords that bound Lupin flew to his hands. "I'll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the dementors will have a kiss for him too —" 

“Severus.” Y/N warned, wand still at the ready.

Before he knew what he was doing, Harry had crossed the room in three strides and blocked the door. 

“Harry!” Y/N cried.

"Get out of the way, Potter, you're in enough trouble already," snarled Snape. "If I hadn't been here to save your skin --" 

"Professor Lupin could have killed me about a hundred times this year," Harry said. "I've been alone with him loads of times, having defense lessons against the dementors. If he was helping Black, why didn't he just finish me off then?" 

"Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf's mind works," hissed Snape. 

"Get out of the way, Potter." 

"YOURE PATHETIC!" Harry yelled. "JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE A FOOL OF YOU AT SCHOOL YOU WON'T EVEN LISTEN --" 

"SILENCE! I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT!" Snape shrieked, looking madder than ever. "Like father, like son, Potter! I have just saved your neck; you should be thanking me on bended knee! You would have been well served if he'd killed you! You'd have died like your father, too 

arrogant to believe you might be mistaken in Black -- now get out of the way, or I will make you. GET OUT OF THE WAY, POTTER!" 

“Okay, I said ENOUGH!” Y/N raised her voice. 

With a wave of her wand, the floor tiles under Harry’s feet rolled upwards in a wave, and sent Harry tumbling back to the back of the room where Ron and Hermione were.

“Snape, I told you to listen,” She said, advancing on him with her wand. “I told you, I don’t want to have to do this. But you have clearly lost your mind.”

Snape turned to face her. His dark eyes darkened even more. “And I told you, to get out of my way.a What are you possibly saying, Professor Y/L/N, you really think I’m going to duel you?”

Y/N cocked her head to the side. “Why, you scared you gonna lose?” She said in a volume just above a whisper.

Snape jerked his wand and a spell flew at her, she whipped her own wand and deflected it. It bounced to the wall and knocked an old painting down.

With her empty hand, Y/N reached out to the trio and conjured a sort of bubble around Ron, Harry and Hermione. It was a protection spell.

Remus screamed in muffled yells as his mouth was gagged, and Sirius tried to free him but to no avail, there was no untying magical ties without a wand.

Y/N’s chest was heaving as she felt her heartbeat quicken.

A rapidfire of spells followed, bouncing between the two like fireworks. Y/N waved her wand, deflecting those Snape sent at her, conjuring out some of her own in the milliseconds in between. 

Snakes shot out of Snape’s wand, flying toward Y/N. She waved her wand and they turned into pink satin ribbons, falling through the air. She flicked her wand one, two, three different motions and jets of orange, red and purple shot toward him. He deflected two of them and managed to physically dodge the third. Snape rose his hands and a ring of fire encircled Y/N.

Remus let out another muffled yell, struggling terribly against his restraints.

“Don’t-“ Y/N muttered through gritted teeth as she began to make effortful circles with both her wand and her non-dominant hand. The others watched in terror. “Piss - me - OFF—“

The molecules of water vapor surrounding her had liquefied and splashed down onto the floor to put out the flames. “The shack’s made out of fucking wood, Snape, you want us all to DIE?”

She raised her wand high above her head, the water getting picked off the floor and she pushed the wave into him. It slammed his body into the wall behind him and with another wave of her wand, the water froze; trapping him there, suspended. 

Remus watched from the ground in awe. He had forgotten how powerful Y/N had become and it was magnificent to witness.

Snape’s head had knocked back and it drooped down, hanging from his neck. He had been knocked unconscious.

Sirius found Remus’ wand and untied him.

Y/N took a deep breath and lowered her wand. She waved her hand, and the protective barrier in front of the trio disappeared. Remus jumped to his feet and rushed to her, capturing her in a soulful hug.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He said, taking her face in his two hands, searching and scanning for signs of distress.

“I’m good, I swear.” She said, steadying her breath.

After what seemed like forever, finally Remus let her go. They immediately turned back around to heightened squeaking noises, coming from a very distressed Scabbers, still stuck in Ron’s tight clutch.

“Professor Y/L/N…” Hermione began. 

“That was amazing.” Ron breathed.

“How you used the Freezing charm to- to- Oh God, Professor Snape.” Hermione gasped once she saw what state he was in.

“This still doesn’t mean I believe you.” Harry said firmly.

Y/N, Remus and Sirius exchanged a look.

“Then it’s time we gave you proof.” Remus said, advancing.

“Ron, give us the rat.”

[t8oo]

By all accounts the lupin fandom has always prided itself as a drama free ship war free open to polyamory and wildly different headcanons fandom. And I can name a few people that have worked hard to keep this place very friendly. And I really started in this fandom in a friendly place. I even managed to make friends that Liked Luzeni maybe even just as much as me. I was ecstasic. I really loved those people so much, I talked to them daily. Some of them I respected so much for their craft. Great.

Id always been upfront and very clear that they were befriending someone who was fucked in the head. And i dont mean seasonal depression type I mean Bipolar and Bpd and all the symptoms it entails. Im not even going to mention the upbringing and the life ive had. All of it was a complete and violently abusive catastrophy.

Last year I exhibited symptoms that were intense. TOXIC. It didnt mean that I was toxic to my friend, because I was rational enough to know about boundaries. I was at the end of my rope. For undisclosed reasons I had to be interned. Great. During the ultimate time that lead me to become crazy, not a single person i thought was my friend gave me a hand. I received a message from one friend while I was litteraly perched on the windowsill about to jump telling me about their life. Not asking abt me. I sent some Hey thats cool but im about to kill myself and they didnt reply. Days after I was interned they told me that my message triggered them so they had to have an emergency meeting with their psychiatrist. Cool. Nothing abt me still. Sorry ? Fallout 1

During yhat whole shitstorm and despite everything a friend became my like. favorite person in bpd terms. Just really fucking embarassing shit really. I tried to prevent it, i tried to pull out not to make it worse, which not only was making it worse but was making it toxic. I aparently blew out, which of course my memory conveniently forgot. I said something ahout their partner. They never explained what. Again, after internment I apologized. They told me they needed time. They bsolutely deserved it. I was probably horrible to warrant that reaction. I might even have been toxic. Again, I do not remember what I even said. Im not a demonic entity it couldnt have been like I desacrated them and insulted them beyond repair. Even in my anger I have always been limited. But all i can do is speculate. They never explained, just took my apology. And then They never came back. That friend I liked so much that despite everything I did to control myself became a person i liked beyond wat was normal. We have had so much fun. Not enough to mend bridges or explained anything. Fallout 2

During that blow out one friend meddled, asking that other friend for information ? I asked to pass along a message to friend B. which friend A refused. Like it was not their business, even tho they were clearly invested in the business enough to talk to both of us about it lol. No problem. 4 days ago thou i confronted a group of friends that were friends As friend, for kicking them out of an rp group for no reason, even bordering on racism. My friend feels hurt about that event, has always hinted at it. it even stopped them from rping, something they did for 12 years. They had no closure and so I tried to bring it to them. Asshole move or empathic ? Thinking back i may have been taking the situation personnaly because i was already on my way out menrally. I dont know. All i know is that four days later, after i talked for hours to that group and the reason why they treated my friend so poorly that they still had scars over it, i was experiencing a mental crisis and that friend refused a request. Great. Fallout 3

The last friend litteraly stood by and said nothing. Not before the fallout and not after. I dont even know'if that counts as a fallout. This girl was so cute, so fun, so talented, so FUNNY. And when it came to a heed she said nothing. No side taking. Neutrality. Okay

At this point I no longer had anyone to talk to I think. I was documenting my attempt and the horrible conditions of the psych ward on twitter for everyone of my "friends" to see. One i particularly loved so much because they genuinely were on the same level of insanity related to luzeni made a tweet about the late hystix, a person i did not know but a lot of the lupin fandom did. A beautiful soul that was always supportive and kind. Everyone was mourning her. It was truly heartbreaking. I hope she is in peace. Our attempts matched in timing, it was actually mindblowing. Mine just fucking failed because of nosy neighbors. I feel so close to her in spirit still. That we both struggled so much that we came to the conclusion that nothing could save us. She did not have the nosy neighbors. That friend mourned her publicly.. on twitter. Ok. Logical, its a depressing, horrible and sad situation all around. All we can do is mourn. Still, it was a friend I was genuinely close to. That never showed the empathy they did to me. Hey dude so im kind of facing the exact same issues but you never reached out ? While my torment was there and documented on twitter because again. I did not fucking know wat was going on. I was in a strict mental ward under a lot of dosage from nurses who refused to give me insulin even thou i was type 1. Friend said that they tweeted at me. No mention of the years and years of discussions we had on discord and me checking up on them everytime they pulled out for severe family matters and i was genuinely concerned. Nope they aparently tweeted something at me. Okay. Thank you for the concern. Your investment really shows. Fallout 4

after that I stopped friends all together. The fact that friends I was talking nigh on everyday to each revealed their lack of concern for me during an extreme mental health crisis was abyssmal to say the least.

Fallout 5 came with Sheen. I was managing a charity zine for Palestine, and the lack of investment from so many artists brought me to the edge. I took it out on Sheen in the softest way possible. I told them I was disapointed in their piece and that it looked low effory. Sheen, a person I had knwon for the entirety of my investment in the lupin fandom, decided that an offense was enough to block me and never speak again. Once again i was on the verge of yet another blow out. And it happened. Lol. Its just so funny in retrospect that everytime I start acting weird alluding to a breakdown people shun me out despite, you know. me being clear abt my medical record. I realized that I was rude to Sheen and it was uncalled for. Apologized publicly not in the attempt that Sheen sees it but just so that everyone knows that if they hear abt the story, at least they know its all been my fault. Online friendships are so cool because it just takes the block button to burn bridges without coming back. With no chance of mending or at least a genuine apology. so Fallout 5

Is there a reason that all of these issues happened within one fandom ? I do think so. Unless i am incredibly unlucky. Or an abusive piece of shit unbeknownst to me. I think that the lupin fandom is surface level niceties. If they dont like you you will know. It will be passive but you will be muted and eventually just ostracized. You will not be invited in fandom events, or group discussions. It did not help that my mental health was constantly deteriorating and I started developping a persecution complex, thinking that people were making secret discords where they were telling others to avoid me or something. Ive endured all of this for one thing. One Humiliating thing : i love luzeni. I love it so much I want a tatto of it. I love it so much that after years before sleep I pick a random fic and then imagine their discussions. I love their dynamic so much. I love their romance I love how fucking inhinged they are i love that they hurt and love each other the same, i love that they cant live without the other, that they genuinely complete each other in a really ugly but complete patchwork of mental illness and really elaborate kinks.

I gave up thou. Another depression, I blew out, attempted again with the window, got caught and sent to the hospital. It pulled me back from the fandom. I realized i was allocating so much of my thoughts to it and how I could be better perceived, how I could make friends again to talk about the fictional thing i loved the most in the world. And I realized that in giving up and keeping to myself, that I could be more stable. That the damage was done and I cant really enjoy this fandom anymore, but Im still attached to the hip to luzeni and so in the words of a really brilliant man... Nah... Ill do my own thing.

U might be wondering why the hell is this bitch airing their laundry publicly. Its therapeutic. You dont have to read or care. If those friends see it, and make a comment of their own about how the events did NOT happen like I told, I would love to hear how they perceived it. I do not give my friendship freely and easily and these people have done profound damage to my abilty to trust. And most of all, I never had any closure. I kept rethinking, blaming them, then myself, then miscommunication, then them and then myself again. To this day I dont know why all of this happend. Did I act like an unfathomable monster, or did my friend simply not give a shit enough to help me through this. I dont fucking know and I cant deny either options. Maybe I am talking through a completely selfish wrapped sens of perception that is not to be trusted. I wouldnt be surprised. I have a very hard time relying on my own brain lately. My health is deteriorating very fast, and shit is getting worse.

The second reason is that I am going to be interned for psychiatric issues for the next 3 months. For the first time in my life I think Ill finally get all the professional support i need, available and close. Im not going to be investing any time in the fandom, if simply talking to the psychiatrist abt this catastrophic strings of fallouts. I might be posting some luzenis, but frankly i doubt it. I only make fanart when I am happy, or sad enough but still capable. Im neither right now. You are not entitled to any of these informations, but I just wanted to write them out of my mind because I have a LOT of baggage to go on through and this is an extra bag I dont need so im throwing it out.

You cannot gauge an entire fandom from your perspective, the same way you cannot gauge an entire userbase. No, tiktokers are not the worst people in humanity. Neither are reddit users. Being on tumblr is cool, but it doesnt make u better than being on twitter. And so this is only my opinion of the lupin fandom. I met some amazing persons that i wish the best for, for ever and ever, but in all the niceties and welcoming you might see, I dont think that extends to a person with mental illnesses that are villified, or out of their control. I can fairly say that my experience was disapointing, and I dont intend to rekindle anything. Ill just be on the fringe maintaining the spirit of luzeni alive because fuck you monkey punch these are my characters now by law.

If you read until this bro get a life. Also im joking, youv given me more consideration than most people i met have. If your take after this is that I am deranged, then youv read right.

Thank you for reading. This blog has always been a pleasure to post on, even my most cringe and embarassing shippy stuff. Ive been met with nothint but support, and I truly enjoy being here because of you. I hope this isnt a 3+ month long goodbye. I hope I draw my lovers again. But I cant guarantee anything. I wish you all health most of all, and love and compassion.

[verrescent]

"Regulus has the more gorgeous curls ever!" AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHY

becsuse.

for the longest time he just left his hair slicked back or combed over. (yes im pushing my choir boy reg agenda WHAT ABT IT) like he didnt even know he had curls till he was too lazy to comb it over one lazy morning and all of a sudden his head was a frizzy curled mess. (picture a horrible perm) he didnt even know until a slytherin first year who was jumping through hoops for his favor offered to teach him a bird repelling spell. after asking why, he was horrified and the first year apologized.

He tried potions and spells and chants and stones yet nothing seemed to help calm his hair... and he couldn't very well ask Sirius for help since his hair was much less coiled than Regulus's. After about a month of tireless effect (anger filled quidditch practices when he cursed every great wizard for keeping the one muggle custom of hating anything that isn't straight) he finally caved and called in reinforcements.

You know where I'm going with this, right?

HE CALLED LILY, JAMES AND REMUS!

Listening carefully, while James nodded without actually listening (occasionally saying things like 'mhm mhm yes sir you make a fine point.' to impress or bother lily enough that she'll like him ...she'll never admit it but she giggled a little internally) operation make 'regulus handsome again!' was forced in motion.

James tried a natural salve that his dad made that 'enhanced your roots and made your strands shine!' It sort of worked, except they found out that Regulus is allergic to unicorn horn dust and sapflowers.

Lily tried massaging oils that she'd seen her mom use occasionally (and Mrs Evans had the prettiest curls ever!) but it weighed down the strands too much since she applied enough for three people so regulus kind of just looked like Snape. (After regulus saw his reflection, he looked like he'd braved a fight with a dementor)

Remus, who'd been the last one to try anything, and who did the least for his curls (yet they still looking impeccable! fking lupin genes 😒) decided to lend Regulus some of his self made soaps and conditioners that never really worked for him. Regulus did, reluctantly, and found that the frizz was almost gone, and that it smelled very reminiscent of citrus and eucalyptus. In fact, they looked so good that not only did lily ask for the recipe and James berated Remus for never hooking him up with his idiotic talent for accidentally making things that work wonderfully, he was able to convince his mother to left him open his own gringotts vault (of which he planned to use to finally rid his surroundings of those horrid walls of horrid memories.) the end!!!!!! Idk when I wanted this to go but it went somewhere I think

[schro4444]

Idk abt pained but that anon's right!! There's just something about the way you draw kaito's smiles that feels like running headfirst into a brick wall - it's great!!

On that note though - I'm absolutely obsessed with the bit "he’s got an expression of scrunched-nose focus on his face that looks, for some reason, incorrect—like it’s not how his face actually looks when he’s concentrating, but the emotion underneath is the same. A mask of a feeling to obscure the same feeling, entirely purposeless"

because like! YES! That's EXACTLY it!! Kaito LOOKS like he's super expressive, emoting with his whole face and body, and then you just - get punched in the face when you realise, OH, he feels like neither him nor anyone could ever get out of the shadow his dad casts, OH, he DOES remember the clock tower meeting, this whole ringmarole was to save it, OH, he was trying to get Aoko to act more natural, OH, he was playing the fool at billiards (I GENUINELY doubted for a moment whether he Actually sucked at billiards or just cheated for the poetic justice)

It's a bit sad, to be honest, that Kaito can never put his masks down no matter what face he's wearing - even if it is his own. He said he's a fan of Lupin but imho he'd do well to reread the first book - there is a line there about disguises and ceasing to know yourself Kaito would do well to remember, bc I very much he's taking the time to rest, eat and become himself again between disguise and disguise.

THANK YOU!!! genuinely that’s such a huge compliment ajfjdhd

THANK YOU! AGAIN!! AND YES YES OKAY—I was going to say I have an essay on this, but I think ditto IS my essay, lol

BUT IM GONNA TALK ABOUT IT MORE ANYWAY!!! I won’t get into all of it now but Gosh I think so much about expressions. kaito appears to be an extremely expressive character, and it’s not that he Isn’t, but more that it’s Very intentional, like you’re saying—he’s a magician, he lives for misdirection, he’s always misdirecting and deflecting and reflecting.

moments like these Haunt Me!! he’s very clearly Being Kaito, enough that everyone around him believes him, but he’s also just… totally lying, in every single image. I really really want to capture the energy of these panels in writing and art, lol

LIKE. how good of an acting job did he do here that he managed to convince aoko that he didn’t want to see a magic show. lol.

THE POOL CHAPTER I think about that all the time. what an establishing moment for kaito. first of all because of what it reveals about how he is

(thank you toichi)

and second of all because I was also!!! bamboozled!!

the way he is portrayed when he starts winning in this chapter is Very interesting, because I feel like it comes across as kaito more,,, like,,, settling into the role. he’s not really actively trying to do anything, he’s following what he most naturally wants to do, which is somewhere between “be silly so that people don’t look too closely” and “I’d really like to see the people around me laugh and be happy.” once he starts being able to Perform, he succeeds. and yet we as the audience are still left doubting what really happened!!! kaito misdirects the audience just as much as any of the mk characters!

oooo I really need to read the arsene lupin books. but like YEAH! EXACTLY! kaito never really made space for himself to Not be acting. the closest he gets is with Jii, and maybe his mom. relevant to my OTHER ramble about how, in deciding to become kid, kaito ended up creating a character out of himself, a character that he Has To Be most of the time. and it’s WILD, because it’s a version of himself that’s fundamentally missing a lot of who he is, but nothing that anyone would actually know to miss.

[psihawaii]

ive finishied green vs red and i have no idea what i just watched. i know you said you dont need to watch any of the others but does it help?

but i did think it was funny and interesting, it has that fullmetal alchemist property where all the main characters are men but my favorite characters are the women. my favorite joke in the whole thing was the zoom in on lupins goofy ass grin in a mugshot with the subtitle ‘he’s always smart and cool’

I will say that me going ‘you dont have to know anything abt lupin iii at all going in 👍’ is moreso a personal thing abt me wanting to make the experience as confusing as possible, mostly if not entirely bc 1. I think it’s funny and 2. The film Also wants to make the experience of watching it as confusing as possible for plot reasons what with scenes being deliberately out of order + the movie never really explaining it’s main… Concept. I guess? I definitely don’t think it was the intended viewing experience (it was supposed to be a 40th anniversary special LMAO it is supposed to be a celebration of the franchise) but I just think it’s interesting to gauge ppls thoughts about what it could mean bc. In my opinion, green vs red’s larger Themes aren’t specific to lupin as much as they are abt any popular ‘morally grey’ male character/real. actual person/the effect media and fiction has on our real lives.

But to answer your question, i think knowing anything abt lupin iii only rlly helps with figuring out the preexisting characters relationship to lupin (which, sounds like a Big Thing, and i definitely do think knowing them a little makes for some Crazy implications with the concept of the film, but i think you get Enough context from what’s shown in the film + the thoughts and feelings of the gvr exclusive characters are more important, which do get explored thoroughly (or as thoroughly as the film can explain it)) and with all the lupin iii references (which are… obviously gonna be superfluous. theyre cute!! and i like em. but theyre not Needed to completely enjoy the flim). I feel like i’d be putting ‘Who Lupin Is. Like As A Person’ on this list, but again i feel like theres enough context within the film where you can figure it/what you Need to to watch it out. But of course im biased bc i watched green vs red pretty late into my lupin phase + i’ve watched it like five times in the past year.

BUT IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! It genuinely is one of my favorite movies of all time despite its problems. I think the idea of a really popular anime doing a non-linear metacommentary on itself as an anniversary film is Insane and whether or not you (the royal you. not you specifically syl) think it was executed well or a good celebration of the franchise its at least INTERESTING its a lot to think about… I really do like it as a commentary about legacy and idolizing problematic figures and how the media you consume/what you’re shown affects you as a person good and bad its… gaaahhhhhhh. I love media thats abt media.

And the thing abt lupin As A Whole really is that. It has really good women with crazy stories and roles and implications and it treats them HORRIBLYYYYYYYY like 85% of the time. the woman called fujiko mine (another artsy divisive examination of the franchise) is SUPPOSED to be more focused on its women (or woman. Singular.) and her role in the series and its…… interesting. good and bad. i would not say it centers women in a way thats tasteful or uhm… good as a narrative (at least towards the end) (and i feel like all of the Good interesting things it has to say that hold up by the end all have to do with the men!!!!!) (i almost wanna recommend twcfm to ppl as well but i have supremely Less authority on it and claim Less responsibility on the feelings anyone may or may not have abt it)

[crazysodomite]

i study gamedev and today's lecture was on the origins of the stealth genre... got to nerd out about constantine's mansion 😁 i mostly know abt the series from watching a friend play thru the first game but it was still very heartwarming to see it discussed! i have special permission from my prof to help and edit his presentations for future students (bc im a game history n genre nerd) and given ur the resident tumblr thief expert in my eyes, i wanted to ask what interesting facts should we mention abt the series' mechanics and their influence on the genre? what would a true thief fan like to not be overlooked in the genre wide discussion? sorry if it's a confusing question, i just like hearing people nerd out either way...

also just seeing u mention it in any context makes me very happy inside, brings back good memories :] did you know the stealth genre started with a prototype game about shoplifting? it then got bought by taito and turned into the 1980 lupin iii game!

umm i feel like im too doopid to really do thief and its mechanics justice... i dont think im a thief expert just a thief fan... i haven't played a lot of other stealth games except thief so it's hard for me to judge and compare!

one of my favorite analysis videos on thief from a person who just uploaded this banger and was never seen again...

i think nowadays the 'safe bet' is to not create anything too difficult or challenging for the player, sometimes rudimentary stealth mechanics are included to 'be an option' but stealth as an actual genre is pretty dead right now.

it's hard to imagine a game being created nowadays focused mostly on stealth, with complex mechanics and large sprawling levels without a minimap and objective marker pointing you where to go.

i think a lot of these things can be accessibility features or just things developers include to avoid player frustration. after all someone is probably going to get upset and quit the game if they spend hours walking around the map not understanding where they're supposed to go.

but in the end the levels themselves should be constructed to be able to be navigated without objective markers and minimaps. for example i rarely even look at the included map when im completing a thief level because i just kinda expect to complete the level and figure out what to do simply by exploring, listening to conversations, reading notes, paying attention to the environment, etc. though i do really appreciate being able to see which room i'm currently in on the map like in thief 2...

and i'm not even gonna lie i looked up guides for certain levels in thief because i couldn't figure out what to do, but i would rather have this point of frustration instead of a game i can just turn my brain off and press buttons at random to complete, that doesn't respect my intelligence at all. and thief games are far from perfect, especially since the devs were rushed and the company ended up going bankrupt, that's why its especially sad to not see any real thief successors or even an actual demand for a good stealth gaming experience.

there's a reason the community around thief is still going strong, developing FMs, discussing the game, creating huge campaigns, porting the game mechanics to a newer engine, etc. if the skeleton of thief wasn't good enough to warrant such a long lifespan none of that would happen! thief is so good, despite being a game literally older than me, that people would prefer to play a thief fm instead of whatever 'stealth mechanics' the newest AAA game cooked up. anyways heres my santances i hope you like them.

i would love for mechanics introduced in thief to be built upon with newer technology. for example more robust dynamic light mechanics like those introduced in deadly shadows (not pushed far enough sadly... but the possibilities are so exciting) as well as more robust audio and various other improvements that could be made if there was actual interest in stealth games anymore... i mean hell a lot of people who made FMs for thief went on to make other games (dishonored) but then those games still don't really hit like thief does.

okay im just gonna highlight some points bc i genuinely do not possess the capability to write in english. gets scared

I think an interesting comparison can be made between the light gem from thief and like, the 'detection meter' some games with 'stealth mechanics' have nowadays. What does the light gem do? It shows which light level you're currently in. There is predictability and consistency in how enemies react to you at different light levels. Your Actual Skill matters, not what perks you chose on the progression tree or what 'stealth skill' you used on your character. If you're at the lowest 'hidden' light level you are basically safe from enemies unless they walk into you and you can plan your next movement, if you're in a higher light level you need to pay close attention to enemies to not get spotted. Can you actually play the game without the light gem? I think yes, since your detection is mostly sound-based cues, and the light gem simply gives the player concrete information to play better and get predictable, skill based results. The 'detection meter' is there because most games don't really have light/shadow mechanics or robust stealth-based enemy AI. You need to visually show the player they've been spotted because in most games the sound design is not catered to stealth and you won't hear an enemy seeing you, or the level design is constructed in a way where you will be spotted by someone looking at you from across the map and not understand where that came from, etc. Frankly in most games you're not even put in situations where you can weave your way around enemies, follow them, sneak around them, etc. You can either press a button to knock them out from behind, or you 'discover' a passage that allows you to bypass all enemies since stealthing 'on the ground' is literally not possible because of the AI that like, spots you based on proximity and nothing else. Or there's like, a meter that goes up the longer you stay around the enemy before they spot you, etc.... You don't feel like you make your own stealthy way, using the tools and circumstances you've been given, and instead you just 'discover' the pre-determined 'stealthy way' intended by the devs.

Sound. I probably can't even name a game where sound matters more than in thief. Sound information is as important as visual information in thief. You can tell which specific level of alertness an enemy has simply by their voicelines. Different floor materials make different sound levels (which may not be super realistic, but it's a sacrifice thief makes for the sake of gameplay), different speeds you move at make different levels of sound, your items and arrows make sound, enemies can use sound to alert each other, etc. An enemy doesn't need to see you to be alerted, and you can hear how many enemies are in a room, what direction they are coming from, and if it's safe to come out of a room based on sound proximity. Also you can press your ear against a door to listen. I genuinely can't name another game that utilizes this.

Okay ummm.... Thief mechanics are robust enough to allow for all kinds of different playing styles. You can use your tools or you can not use any of them at all, you can knock everyone out or go completely undetected by anyone, the thief community makes up their own rulesets for playthroughs not intended by the devs at all, but those are still possible and fun to do.

Stop with the 3rd person view camera. More leaning from a corner and listening to your enemies, less 3rd person camera where you can see enemies while being completely safe and undetected. The first person view is extremely important to thief in my opinion, and adds an incredible amount of immersion. Also, thief never fucking takes away control from you to play an animation or a quick time event!!! It's infuriating when games do that !!!

Even dishonored, a game i actually really enjoyed, is still really lacking in stealth. You spend most of your time perched up on weirdly placed objects above your enemies that make it safe for you to basically teleport from place to place while being undetected by enemies. Dishonored has more of a focus on actually engaging and killing enemies, which imo is really unnecessary. I should actively avoid engaging with enemies in any way in a stealth game. In a perfect stealth game, no enemy sees or hears me at all, while i can still weave around them and pick their pockets, complete all my objectives while exploring a wide map that makes sense and is rewarding to explore, and be able to get out unscathed...

here are my new sentences 😁

[lostmykeysie]

hi keysie! i dnt use tumblr like at all but i recently just finished reading the horcrux hunt n the missing link and boy do i hve thoughts i need to share. listen, ur writing is absolutely phenomenal n i cannot stop thinking abt it morning, noon n night. the way u write the friendship between regulus n remus has me crying n laughing all at the same time. they care abt each other sm. it feels so real to me. i love them so so so much.

honestly, i wasnt sure how i felt abt the platonic kissing at first but as i read on i get it. the way u portray their dynamic it js fits so well. i literally adore the way they talk to each other n ive honestly hvent found any other works like it. im so glad they had each other during the war and everything.

some aspects of their friendship tht rlly hve my heart/stuck w me:

- the fact tht regulus starts questioning his view of everything bc remus came into his life !!

-n the fact he goes into the wolfsbane project (mostly?) bc of remus - THEIR NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER

-regulus (especially the 'You’ve got me tearing my hair out here Rom, I’m so worried.' letter) n lilys letters to remus during the december moon 😭😭

-the fact tht they share memories on the pensieve w each other js so tht the other cn understand their feelings. IT FEELS SO INTIMATE. its like when ure telling ur friend a problem tht u cnt quite change but u js need them to listen yk?

-"I think the Lupins were always meant to be a four piece set, and now we’ve finally got you." I ADORE THEM!! regulus n hopes relationship 💗💗💗

-when regulus was like how cld u sirius??? he thought u were the love of his life n u thought he was a traitor??? i cld kill u rn. me too reg me too.

speaking of wolfstar angst,, u wrote them so well!! my heart cracks little by little with every fight they hve in the camden flat but theyre doing sm better now in tml it makes me SO happy. the fight where remus leaves for his parents house yet still left pieces of himself in the flat BROKE ME.

the fact tht remus wnted to tell sirius n the others wht he was doing so bad but cldnt, n in the end he knew it was right not to bc of the rat. honestly, the way u decipt peter has me in shambles. bc like, he was ready to betray them frm THE START yk?? like he literally became animagi for remus n STILL tried to frame him. id feel violent as well.

and lily, oh gods lily. i love her so much. the fact tht she cried bc she realised she loved james n felt like she was losing a piece of herself bc she thought tht meant she didnt love alice anymore??? broke me once again. alice is one of my favourite characters and no matter how minor of a role she plays in any fic i still love her dearly. i, too, would be in love w her.

i also love tht lily n remus were still able to repair their friendship even w everything tht happened. i dont rmb wht happened to the polaroid, did lily take it w her?

the girls + dorcas n reg getaway!!! dorcas' face jewellery omg 💗💗 i also plan to get a few piercings to my face when i cn in the future :)

reg n lily hving a truce in muggle waitrose is so funny n endearing to me bc theyre hving a heart to heart while picking up cheese and like?? breadsticks 😭😭

oh well, this is getting quite long i think. my last point: jegulus!!

ill be honest i stumbled upon the missing link before the horcrux hunt bc i was looking for jegulus fics but after seeing reg n remus interact i HAD to go bck m read thh. no regrets, i enjoyed it dearly.

reg n james kissing n reg js being like nope nope im not gns process tht. BUT LIKE NOW THEYRE HOLDING HANDS !! honestly i love how reg treats harry, their interactions has my heart. if i were james n i saw reg n my son interacting, id already be a gooey puddle on the floor, james has quite the self control. tho considering it is physically impossible for it to happen, i think he has already metaphorically melted into a gooey puddle on the floor.

lastly the part where remus was talking abt how haz takes after all the four of them. one of my favourite moments honestly.

now this is quite a lot, so if u do end up reading all of this, thank u for writing thh n tml. 💗

sending lots of love x

hi darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all i just want to say this is the LONGEST ask i have ever had lmao i didn't even know you were allowed this many characters your power is unmatched xxx it's like you wrote me a lil story you're the best xxx

i love regus friendship and i can't even remember why i was like 'you know what i need to write about this' but i will NEVER write them as anything but bffs ever again i am obsessed with them i love them so much i'm so glad you do too xxx

i think the platonic kissing was a bit of a wild ride for us all and i think some folks were a bit worried it wouldn't come across as platonic because it feels like such a romantic thing but i think once we got used to it it just became *their thing* you know?? and i love it so so much i love them and they love each other i love their dynamic so much

i love your list of faves <3 i just love the concept of people having fave things and moments it makes me sooooo happy. i think our faves are quite similiar, reggie doing the wolfsbane trial defo for me. the first night they got drunk together in reggie's flat is also close to my heart<3 and of course reg seeing sirius for the first time in years and defending remus <3

the wolfstar angst hurts but it's also just... it's not *easy* to write but they just have so much angst they really have fought a war for their relationship and it's never been smooth sailing and i'm glad i didn't just throw them together happily ever after once the war was over because it just didn't feel real enough you know? BUT i feel like we've earned the fluff now and that is ALL we have now for these last four chapters it's fluff fluff smut and fluff and i can't wait <3 <3 it tastes so much sweeter now because of the angst you know

peter was a tough one because i feel like canon implies he's just a coward but that's just. not enough for me, you know? and he's canonically a hat stall so i just love the idea he's actually this menacing creature that is so selfish and self centred that as soon as he thought he wouldn't be on the winning side of the war and voldemort had more to give him he just dipped. like how you can forsake your best friends of ten years you have to be a horrid person and a coward just doesn't cover that for me!!!!! but a person driven by selfish motivation their whole life, loyal to only themselves???? yes please

i LOVE lily i love sapphic lily but i LOVE the idea of jily being best friends. lily is so mature, much more mature - emotionally too - than the rest of them, especially the boys. it is a bit heartbreaking to not only give her unrequited love for her best friend but then to kill alice.... such an ouch i wont lie. but i love her. and i'm really excited for her future in this series too, i didn't just want to shove her into a relationship like she's got trauma to get over healthily and a kid and everything she deserves a proper arc <3

lily did take the polaroid!!! she has it in a drawer at the moment but it won't stay there <3

dorcas is a legend and i love them they're such a fun character to write and i might be inspired enough to re-pierce my other nostril and get an eyebrow... i want a ring through my eyebrow soooo bad

i love reg and lily and they will only get closer <3 <3

omg me and you both. i feel like reg is accidentally great with kids and james potter is the daddiest daddy so of course if you're great with his kid he's gonna love you. that definitely sold reg for him i think. i also love him so much in this fic because i feel like he just *knows* how to deal with the black brothers. he's not pushing reg for anything despite being quite obviously his biggest fan and i love him for it i actually LOVE them. and i didn't expect to! this is my first jegulus fic and idk if i'll write them again outside of this universe/series but i love them so much i feel like they've come together so well and they complement each other and i LOVE THEM

i do love little harry and i cannot wait for harry to grow up with all four (and more) of them raising him. i will defo do follow up fics in this series without a doubt because i just have to for my own sake xxx

thanks so much for coming and writing me your own little story in my ask box hahahah sorry it took so long for me to get to it, i am chronically OFFline xxxxxx kisses xxxxxxx hope you enjoy the final few chapters !!!!!!!!!

[m0th-rambles]

Autistic trait of making s/is and/or ocs who are human experiments who learn human emotions from their found family/friends

[feliphilia]

I came up with another few days ago. I pictured it in my head.

Yk umbitch. Yea everyone hates her (including me obviously) and never thought id live to meet someone who deserved the dementors kiss. Not the actor, jus the character. The actor obviously is a great person and people shouldn't be using her image to hate on umbitch. Draw your own ones. And if cant draw, draw/refer to a trash can picture or a buffalo and represent it as umbitch. Enough abt it.

So instead if her being the dada teacher in harry 5th year, what if she was in the marauders 5th year? Like can you get the mental image of remus roasting the shite out of her. I live by it. This is what I pictured a few nights ago.

Remus: *burns a bit of paper note that siri passed it to him, prolly smth dirty*

The pink toad: mr lupin, I thought I said no wands in my class

Remus: oh I'm sorry I didnt know you had rights over my wand.

The pink toad: yes, I'm your teacher. I have all rights.

Remus: well im sorry professor, I am blind to your instructions.

Entire class (specially Sirius): *laughing*

Pink toad: Well mr. Black may I know what's so funny?

Remus: do you have a problem with him having a good time?

Remus: go tell it to the goddamn wall. It'd give a better reaction than us.

Pink toad: *fuming* Mr. Lupin! I thought you were diligent and well mannered! This is absolutely unacceptable!

Remus: so is your birth.

Again the class breaks out into laughter and remus smirking in satisfaction.

Pink toad: is that how you treat your teachers mr. Lupin? You should know that your teachers are your second mothers.

Remus: you call yourself a parental figure? You prolly should take notes from minerva. Shes much better.

Pink toad: Mr. Lupin, i canno---

Remus: you know what you are? And forking drainage pipe.

Pink toad: detention and *writes smth down in a piece of paper* hand this over to your head of house right now.

Remus: *under his breathe* great.

Later in mcgonagall office

Remus: *after explaining the while situation in detail to minnie*

Minerva: really? A drainage pipe?

Remus: *thinking shes disappointed in his actions and feels guilty*

Minerva: you could do better. Maybe could've call her a pig. Or a roach or lots of other things

Remus: :D

[catis15]

Heres to hoping?

Me, a person with a chronic black thumb currently has a Hyacinth, Daisy (I'm assuming shasta?), and a Poinsettia. ... And my gf just bought me Lupine and more Shasta Daisy seeds.... aaand I have some CatMint and Potatoes lying around.

The Haven't has stayed alive for a year and even flowered once!

The Daisies had a slight infestation and almost died, I put some mint oil on them and it seemed to clear up. However I rinsed them today and accidentally overwatered them so now all new stalks are bent and the roots are waterlogged and I'm out of soil- so I brought them back just to kill them again but I'm holding out hope. They're tough little ones and I believe in them. No more water though 😱

The poinsettia was a gift my mom received from her bosses wife, my mom almost killed it then put it in our below freezing garage to die. She said it was because we have a cat, I'm pretty sure she just didn't want it. So I took it in left it on my floor for a month, then pruned the shit outs it and moved it to my windowcill. There is a singular healthy branch but I'm holding out hope for it too.

Abt two years ago my mom bought a packet of CatMint seeds saying we'd plant em for the cat. We never did. I'm getting sick of them sitting in my drawer forgotten about. SO GUESS WHAT IM GROWING! I think we bought cat grass too but I can't seem to find that.

And then I got really excited looking at all the seeds in Wal-Mart and my overly kind girlfriend bought me more Daisies and a variety pack of Lupine. I wanted to find some potatoes but they were all out... I realized we have a bag of them in my kitchen.

.... So that is how someone with a chronic black thumb and ridiculous amount of forgetfulness ended up with like 6 or 7 plants to take care of... On top of a cat, Guinea Pig, and Shrimp tank.

Though to be fair I told my mom I wasn't responsible enough nor at all ready for a cat and pigs... She got them anyway. They were rescues which is nice but I really wasn't ready. One of the Guinea Pigs even died recently so like-

Heres to hoping these plants make it cuz I really need the win.

If I find the cat grass it'll be 8...

I could just NOT plant them but like they were gifts and I really do want more plants in my room.

Just gotta do proper research and preparation.

If anyone has any advice I'm always open to it :)

Oh wait I forgot about the marigolds the neighbors gave me

Yeah no its 8 :l

But do my aquatic plants count? Cuz I have three of those...

[steelycunt]

if my christmas fic next year reads like a hallmark channel five christmas film.....NO, it DOESNT, shut UP,

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get a merlin, lotr and marauders era hp matchup/ship request? Thank you! My pronouns are she/her and I’m bisexual.

Personality: I originally come off as quiet, and aloof. It can seem standoffish but I don’t mean it too I just don’t trust very easily and am uncomfortable with strangers/new environments. I am my best when I am by myself or with my closest friends. With my closest friends I’m quite open, fun and talkative especially when talking abt things that interest me. Im quite the good listener as well when it comes to my more extroverted friends. Im also introverted, imaginative, creative, individualistic, reserved, structured and picky in my own way, all sprinkled with a little bit of sarcastic humor.

Hobbies: Digital Art is probably my biggest hobby. If I could I would spend all day at home with my trusty tablet and stylus drawing with an audiobook of my favorite novel/tv show running in the background. Apart from art I absolutely love working out. I kickbox and weight lift most days of the week. Lastly I love playing video games, spending time at comic book stores, the movies and coffee shops.

Interests: I work in the digital media arts and love creative coding, interaction design, and computer graphics. I think my favorite thing is that combination between the artistic and the technological.

Love language: this one is definitely acts of service.

Thank you!

oh hello again, i remember you from last time! because you got a hobbit matchup back then, for the lotr matchup i definitely am going to specifically use lotr characters, so hopefully you'll enjoy this one too! (it is a good sign you came back, isnt it?) btw sorry i couldn’t work your digital art into this well, all of the worlds kind of dont have tech? but you can imagine that its digital

for merlin,

I ship you with

Gwen! 

- Guinevere is as sweet as they come, but that does not mean that she’s not totally fierce too. It was easy for you to fall for her, just as it was easy for her to fall for you. 

- She adores watching you work on your art, especially when you give it to her after. She has a whole drawer in her desk just for all the pages you draw onto. When you work, she’ll read a book, though she most often won’t read and instead stare at you over the rim of it. She’s not very subtle, either, so even if you’re concentrated you can basically feel her eyes burn into your hands. 

- She always blushes when you do something for her, though you do it often. She’s used to doing the work around the castle, so when you suddenly pick up the things she’s supposed to carry or take the books from her hand or sweep when she’s busy otherwise, she doesn’t quite know how to react apart from thanking you and smiling so deeply her dimples show. You think it’s the moments she’s the most beautiful. 

---

for harry potter, 

I ship you with

Remus Lupin!

- Remus is as out of this world as you are. He matches you perfectly, your sarcasm meeting his halfway out of your mouth, your quiet exterior but chaotic mind the same his is. With him, you can share anything and everything and not fear misunderstanding. 

- The first time he saw you working out, he dropped the things he was holding and had to try three times to make a spell work that would put his broken ink bottle back together and the spilled black ink back inside it. After that, he watches you whenever he can. He doesn’t join in, even if you ask him to, he’ll just deny it, and he’ll always have some parchment or book in front of him, but both of you know that that’s a ruse and nothing else so that he can stare at you train. 

- You absolutely turn every conversation into a sarcasm competition, and every snide remark that you can think of he’s also thinking of, and then it’s “who can say this faster and win”. Sometimes you team up and throw so many sarcastic comments at your friends for doing something stupid that James will end up screaming and dragging Sirius and Peter out of the room while you’ll turn to look at Remus and the two of you will double over with laughter. 

---

for lotr, 

I ship you with

Haldir! 

- Haldir is quiet, he thinks before he says or does anything. As an elf, he has the time to. Unlike you, this doesn’t change when he gets to know someone better. He’s always like that, but you don’t mind - you can sit for hours in silence with him, especially outside. While you draw, he’ll braid your hair or read a book or work on some paper or just sit and enjoy the time to think. 

- It’s different though, very different, when you work out with him. While you focus on the body itself, he, as most elves, uses bow and sword, and he’s as talented as none other with both of them. But he lets you walk him through your routine once, and he does the same for you. The both of you rather stick to your own things, but you do gladly practise together. He’ll use an old sword for training as you do your best to sweep his feet from under him or get his face, and when you lift him up, he shoots at trees and later on, orcs. 

- He’s not as used to physical closeness, so he won’t be the guy who necessarily cuddles up to you, but when you ask him to hug you or kiss you, he always will. And when you do something for him, especially when you take out an enemy that was his to fight, he gets the deepest, most genuine smile on his face and always catches you in his arms, pulling you close to him and placing a kiss on your head. Or, well, not in battle, but once you’re both safe and sound again. 

can’t tell if you’ll like your results, so if you don’t, gladly come back for another round! 

[jigenshat]

you know I wonder if there are times that Lupin let’s his facade drop in front of Jigen? I feel like Jigen is the only person in the world besides sometimes Fujiko who he would show an extended glance under the mask for. And you know as it’s been shown, Lupin seems to be rather depressed (idk how else to interpret that sad serious face he makes when he’s not performing) and self-destructive as well as showing he seriously cares about the people in his life to the point of worrying abt them when he’s the one in trouble. So. I like to imagine rarely they just have a heart to heart where Jigen gives Lupin a little time to just. Take the mask off and they both get to get closer and remind themselves why each other is their best friend in the world, and a man that’s made their lives something they wouldn’t trade anything for. It happens infrequently enough that sometimes Jigen forgets Lupin’s putting on a show he’s trying to believe most of the time, but no matter what those two are there for each other no matter who the other one is, no questions asked.

it's not nice to think about a sad or down lupin but he is and at least sometimes it has to be vented to someone. i hc that this happened pretty early on in his partnership with jigen for the first time. i am not necessarily ignoring canon just adding a little extra ok even if im ignoring canon idc. jigen came into his life at a time when lupin really needed it. he was never not able to do the jobs on his own but he didn't really have anyone by his side at this point. his previous partners had come and gone, been caught, deserted him, or worse betrayed him. when jigen stumbled into his life he thought it would go mostly the same way. but on one hiest a few months into their partnership, jigen took a bullet for him. it wasn't in the chest or the head, he recovered quickly. but jigen didn't know where it would go as he ran in front to protect who he now considered a friend. no one had done this for lupin before. in his appreciation he became overwhelmed and it broke him. he fell apart completely in front of his partner. jigen was still recovering, his arm still in a sling and still taking heavy painkillers. he watched and let lupin speak what he clearly had bottled up for such a long time. he just listened. when lupin had burnt himself out, jigen put his non injured arm over his shoulder. he stayed there for a minute. he didn't say anything but the gesture was clear: he had listened and understood and was there for lupin. he got up, and against his doctors best advice, poured two drinks for them. he sat and divulged a few of the stories of the past to his new partner. with the clear and honest air it created between the two men, they made a pact that they would talk to each other. as regularly or irregularly as they liked. but they wouldn't get to this point again. when they're alone and life weighs heavy on their shoulders, they still both sit together over a drink and a smoke and talk it out. for as long as it needs to be said. they wouldn't still be by each other's sides without these moments.

[savegalkissy]

Something I think about is Lupins slightly different characterizations for each part, mostly thought abt it bc of the imposter au because of course, but anyways imposter au lup is the modern version n I can see him pushing away and disregarding any injuries he gets, being somewhat apologetic over it too when he’s back with the gang (mostly thinking of pt 5 here n how he tries apologizing to jig n goe over the trouble when he got shot) but any ways watching more of pt 2 made me realize that 1/2

2/2 that version of Lupin would not be apologetic about it in the slightest, and a lot of the time he seemed to actually like hamming up whenever he got hurt mostly to receive care from Fujiko n sometimes the others, so ig it’s just interesting to compare bc while modern lup was established to be the one this au is centered around I kinda think pt 2 lup would be affected more drastically in a way which is again interesting to think about

That is interesting! Even without the impostor au, if you consider it like a character progression at some point he went from “Im injured gimme attention 🤕 “ to “I am a man I don’t need help even when I get shot” and it’s like. When did that happen? Of course it’s just the characterization but it’s fun

And def as for impostor it makes sense. Doesn’t want the gang to be looking too closely, and doesn’t want to be as “flawed” as the original