#im struggling to settle
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
not really feeling the desire to write right now, so i'm gonna let some time pass & hopefully jump back in the next day or so!
#〆 ‒‒‒‒‒ out of character.#im struggling to settle#with my roster#and who to keep and add etc#plus now that my momentum has stopped#it's difficult to get the ball rolling again#ugh plus i want to make hc posts but idk what#anyway i'm around for plotting & shitposting as always!#know that i think about our threads all the time <3#i love them sm#so take care folks <3
3 notes
·
View notes
Text

#jewelyart#hank j wimbleton#madness combat#dude im fucking Struggling#like. i've figured out hank i can draw them#but for some reason i can't settle on a specific WAY of drawing them#in the trenchessss#it is fun trying out different stuff tho#madcom
223 notes
·
View notes
Text


kanako ketsukanes becaussseeee she is the most important girl in the whole wide world
#undertale yellow#kanako ketsukane#ineed to figure out. how to draw her parents. im struggling here to settle on something#evil art
183 notes
·
View notes
Note
Tim I noticed a lot of indigenous patches on your jacket, are you Native?
Idk what my dad was 'cause I never knew him, but yeah my mom is (or... Was.. I guess..) Muscogee, the tribe native to the part of Alabama I'm in.
If I remember correctly she came to Alabama from Oklahoma (where a lot of Natives were displaced to in the 1800s) to "get back to her roots."
But yknow, I was separated from her in childhood (which tbh is upsettingly common for Native families) and I was raised in a very white very Catholic asylum so I'm not as connected to the culture as I'd like to be.
-Tim
#OOC: Olea speaking#this is kind of a self-indulgent headcanon but HEAR ME OUT it adds a lot to Tim's character specifically#we're talking about a character who was separated from his mom in childhood and locked up in a psych ward#suffers from chronic physical and mental illness made significantly worse by the institution that was supposed to be helping him#forced to regulate his emotions more than other people have to so he isnt misinterpreted as a threat#struggles with addiction#had to work twice as hard as anyone else in his friend group just to be given the same opportunities#a much more common experience inside BIPOC communities#and he clearly has ties to the land (especially the park) nobody else has#you know how in season 2 Alex starts yapping to Jay about how the park is cursed?#maybe he was right#maybe that *thing* has been here for hundreds of years#and nobody was ever able to settle the land so eventually the Department of Conservation turned it into a state park#and Tim isnt some random “patient zero”#but he has ancestral ties to the land and was more receptive/at risk to Operator Sickness (but was also more resistant to it long term)#JUST SAYIN 👀#im half Katu and I desire my comfort character to be a halfie with me we need more non-white rep in mh#ask.txt#marble hornets#mh#tim wright#afterlife au#slenderverse#Native!Tim
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
CUPCAKES ACQUIRED!! / ¡¡PASTELITOS ADQUIRIDOS!! / CUPCAKES ACQUIS!!
#qsmp#qsmp art#q!badboyhalo#bbh#im back!!! my xp pen has been found sorry for the lack of digital art lmao#struggled more than i should trying to find a reference for the cupcakes and eventually just settled on a low res frame from a prev stream#so they may be innacurate idkkk#just some silly non lore related art to get back in the digi art groooove#qsmp stuff#cucurucho#ramblingrodent evolves into artrodent#chat ghosts
258 notes
·
View notes
Text
ava, end of september, first semester of college
#ts4#ts4 edit#ts4edit#myedits*#ava*#wanted to give ava a new haircut and then i ofc added meaning to it aksdsad#basically. last summer before college and last month of highschool were very very different to how they pictured#so this is after theyve had time to try and settle into that big change (not college they do be struggling lmao)#so theyre a bit out of their comfort zone with some clothes and trying new things#she spent the summer with carter on the ranch and took some inspo while still being them yknow#the denim top one im like struggling to see on ava#but she 'stole' it from carter bc she really liked it (which i do feel ava would like it) but doesnt know how to quite style it in their st#-le#tbf a lot of her wardrobe is sweaters and hoodies with shorts in september but this this is the broader variety#idk im a bit nervous on this one bc i tried to show a change while still retaining their style#again the denim vest is a mystery on how to style for them for both me and ava#but i tried bc ava stole it out of carters closet bc it was cool#anyways...
330 notes
·
View notes
Text
guess who's overthinking and making vague plans for chiluc again (that i have a 30% chance of pulling thru with because Life)
#rambles#its purpossly simple for my sake#but im not the type of person to Settle for simplicity#for chiluc !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i had lots of complicated ideas and stuff i wanted to do for them#ranging from simple animatic to a google slides visual novel#ugehehh struggles of being a creative
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Jus wamna say i like your artstyle a lot too!!! I was really jellous of u back on instagram :0
(kinda still am but shhhhhhh no one will know)
Your album cover style fontaine art jus blew my mind. I still think about it sometimes. Also the way u draw wings n wrios mechanical stuff is so cool too!! And that one time u drew heem onna motorcycle too!!! Ion have the patiance for things like that n i jus admire people that do. Impressive as hell imo.

Im holding you and shaking you like maraccas nes, i hope you know that. I never know what to say to people going out of their way to tell me they like my work because a simple thank you text isnt enough. Thank you :) and hey ive been drawing since 2014 so all you see now is basically 10 years of work, you will get there on your own pace and way!
#MAN I WANT SO BADLY TO MASTER DRAWING MACHINES AND STUFF SPECIFICALLY FOR WRIO LMAO#im literally still struggling to settle on a consistent design every time i draw him#but yey yippee silly clockwork wolf man#glad you like my silly au#lyssten to my rambles
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
guess who developed edema in his legs after a 15 hour long flight
#anyways this is me saying im in the Phillipines now! vacation in the homeland... for 40 days....#i just wish i could speak my languages fluently because everyone is either struggling with my english#or our convos are spoken in 2 or 3 languages (which is kinda cool and funny seeing two people talking together in a diff language each#without either missing a beat)#i brought all my stuff tho so ill be online! just gotta settle in first#rivera writes
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some mild existential dread in the house today
#im just feeling reeeeally really drained#works taking a LOT out of me#like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up#and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life#except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit#and the time and the energy#and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting#and hoping#and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it#i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping#and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes#and have a bath and shave at some point#i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare#AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult#part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions#but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other#idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep#which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately#mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me#and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on#but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just#this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention#and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd#but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
"ape." "princess."
#normally i hate posting art back to back but ive been working on this shit for so long for no god damn reason LMAODSAJD#anyways im so unbelievably fucking mentally ill about them#ALMOST gave joe nip piercings. almost#settled for the snakebites#matchablossom#sk8 the infinity#sk8 joe#sk8 cherry#kojiro nanjo#kaoru sakurayashiki#sk8 fanart#ALSO HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DRAW BEEFY PEOPLE. IVE NEVER STRUGGLED MORE ON A GOD DAMN BODY TYPE FUCK#sunny draws
143 notes
·
View notes
Text
WE’RE SO BACK (<- finally re-found the spark that fuels them from a creative/serotonin perspective after months of it fleetingly flickering in and out)
#kiwi shares their thoughts#praying it lasts this time and this isn’t another case of false hope#it’s not tho i can feel it#im all motivated and fired up right now#been struggling to re-achieve a work life balance#especially because ive been so heavy on the “work” side#the combo of having very little me time and not remembering how to enjoy my own company or any of my old hobbies or interests#plus having my main reliable and somewhat constant source of happy chemicals be incredibly linked to a specific person(s) who is also#almost always incredibly busy#was a very bad/difficult combo indeed#but we’re back now!#i’m getting back to watching media on my own (i’ve been doing almost exclusively watch parties with friends and family lately)#i’ve been returning to reading (though sadly not fanfic (yet))#i’ve returned to dropout#slowly returning to youtube#i’m trying to get back into crafts#and i actually found a new one i want to start doing#i’m going to bite the bullet and FINALLY decorate my room#i’m going to start locking down the aesthetics and characters i like (ex being like sanrio or milk and mocha or plague doctor)#i’m gonna get a corkboard and finally officially start my pin collection#i’m gonna try gaming again more consistently on my own (i still game with friends there and again (the minecraft and terraria worlds are#coming along swimmingly)#idk i’m just…#finally returning to my self i guess?#got a little lost in the sauce (currently trying my best to swim out of it)#and i think ive realized a lot of things about myself lately#sorta had a whole metamorphosis arc and had a bit of an unintentional journey of self discovery#i’m in a new place and i’m happy with it and i finally understand it#so now i think it’s time to start bringing over the things i like from the *old* place#y’know now that im all moved in and settled
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
We're home but I'm a 1000x more stressed out here
#like. our apartment is a shitshow and has been for years at this point#and that always makes me anxious#but now theres like a month worth of shit i have to figure out plus the og shit#and like. im so scared that nothing is clean enough and shes going to get an infection now#especially because now we have our little boy again and all his hair and we have to trim his fucking butthole again and im spiraling rn#im just tired probably but like. i am extremely overwhelmed by trying to clean and organize this apartment and idek how to ask for help#plus we might have to move in a few months anyway because my gf is losing her job at the end of may#so it just feels dumb to fix everything just to take it all apart again#even though thats not how shit works#idk. i think my brain is partially stuck in homeless mode so being ready to move at a moments notice feels better than settling into a space#it'll get better eventually#i just hate all of it#makes me want to throw everything away but also not#also im p sure theres crazy mold going on in the walls so i just feel shittier here and its harder to go places because of how many stairs#i used to love coming home after trips but i genuinely dreaded it the whole time we were gone#.....also not having an animal to think about was so nice#i love our cat ofc but wow i struggle sometimes with the inherent mess that comes with him#just more shit i have to clean#gonna blow my brains out actually jesus
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
watching 'when life gives you tangerines' the way God intended (resenting my fate feeling a deep ache in my heart looking at these characters having the kind of love/relationship/family that i dreamed of--was even convinced i had at some point in my childhood (which was never true) and crying at every episode and still somehow feeling fulfilled in such a tragic way i want to laugh and laugh and laugh until i cry/die)
#when life gives you tangerines#im so. so. like. idek#i have so many thoughts. not many feelings bc theres nothing to feel except envy and resentment but#the way its made is so you would feel this way#ae-sun's whole life and then her daughter's life is the ideal everyone hopes for no matter if they have everything or not.#yes they're struggling and poor and it creates so many problems but the kind of love they have (ae-sun and her daughter) invokes envy#and everyone else in the show feels that and so does the audience#i'm so fucking sad that i'm even more mad#at the same time iam so happy a show like this was made#a show like this exists#and that i watched it#that i got to watch it and experience it the ideal way--the way it was supposed to be#something in me is so settled already i havent even finished it yet but i dont think its much about the ending for this show#i keep crying but i know its no use. i know it can't be so. and that has finally made me be at peace. its just this way now.#this is just how it has always been and how it will always be#i could choose better for myself but#i won't#i wont choose anything at all#theres nothing to fight for--no one who faught for me. i only have myself. and choosing myself is to choose nothing.#bc when you choose yourself you have no external choices to make. you can only build new options. you can only make new outcomes#bring them into existence at great costs especially with nothing backing you and that. i feel like ive been fighting for that all this time#and idk#idk.
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
Just speed consumed all of addison lee very much enjoyed I am waiting with my popcorn for next chapter! I did have a wonder while reading, what is Wriothesley's scope of vision? Is it like this needs to be 3 inches in front of his face? Can he see faces clearly if he's close enough? Loving the fic, keep writing!

The short answer is:
No matter how close he gets, it's still gonna be unclear. It's not quite like myopia/short-sightedness where the blurriness can change with glasses/distance. His vision is more like looking through foggy glass. If something is pressed right up to the glass, you can see it more clearly, but it will still be foggy. Additionally, the guy has always been red/green colour-blind, so that doesn't change even after his war injuries, but because his vision is worse in general, he can barely tell colours apart lol. Unless it's bright blue.
LONG ANSWER UNDER THE CUT.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA HEHEHHHEHEHHE WHUAGHAHA sorry. I like to infodump about my fics.
Not kidding when say this: I have a document that have notes on every single year in the 10 years between the Celestia war and current INGITAL events.
Unfortunately this was all planned before Sigewinne release, so I didn't have her canon birthday (AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT CANON ANY MORE I'm burying my head in the sand.) but it accounts for every year that Sigewinne grew up and some other random lore bits. "What does this have to do with my question?" you ask. Well, I have the 10-years progression notes specifically to keep their life events in order and Wriothesley's and Neuvillette's healing progress consistent KJNDSKJNSANSKJHASDJNJSNDKJNASJNDSAJNKSAKJ.
SO. Detailed answer is this:
At this point in INGITAL, if you stand 1-2 meters away from him and wave, he's gonna notice if he's looking at you, paying attention, and you're both indoors, or he's wearing sunnies. He's not gonna be able to recognise anything, though, he can just tell something is moving. He can sort of read regular text on a computer screen at about 2-3 inches (on a good day) using his better eye (left, so he always sorta lean that way when he's trying to look at something), but it's a struggle and he'd rather not do it. His right is worse.
There's also his field of vision. So like, his peripherals are pretty much gone, and he has some dark patches/blind spots. He's also light-sensitive, so everything's kinda painfully bright sometimes, but his vision is also bad in the dark, so he needs a happy medium, but that can shift from day to day.

Very rough idea of what Neuvillette might look like to him on a sunny day. Veeery rough idea. I'm not blind I just researched a lot.
And then, regardless of what he can actually physically see, if his eyes hurt or feel too sensitive to keep open, it's all moot anyway. And once again, usually that depends on the day.
When Sigewinne was born, he had functionally decent vision in one eye (had a corneal transplant on his right). Legally can't get his driving licence, but y'know, he still felt confident enough to drive (Neuvillette did not let him, though.) The transplanted eye deteriorates over Sigewinne's first few months, and so did his better eye. He got another surgery for his left eye (the better one) when Sigewinne was about one, and that lasted for a bit, but by the time she's two, he's pretty much considered legally blind. By the time she's four, he does most things on his own and his other issues are managed as well, which is why they decided to have a second kid, and they had Carole when Sigewinne was 5. But Neuvillette struggled a bit with that second pregnancy. I mean, his first wasn't exactly rose and rainbows, but he his mental health nose-dived with the second one for a while. It's because he's been so focused on keeping it together while Wriothesley recovers that he hasn't fully dealt with his own trauma until his second pregnancy. Because yeah, thinking your husband died while you're carrying your first baby was traumatic. They've both got PTSD. By the time Sedene comes about though, they're all good. Sedene's pregnancy was a breeze, there was just Covid lockdowns HAHAHAHA. And then, if I go through with another pregnancy at the end of INGITAL, well... That's for me to know and for you to ponder.
[By the way, Clorinde mentioned going over to their house for Wrio's birthday 8 years ago in Chapter 9, which is when Sigewinne was 3 and he was 28. His previous birthday (his 27th) was a disaster. Had a big fight with his husband. So that's another morsel of lore from the 10-years-of-plot document.]
There's a scene planned somewhere in all this, where Neuvillette shows him some of their photos on one of the days when his vision is better. Photos of eeeeveryone their kids and their friends and all. He printed them out and edited them to raise the contrast so Wriothesley can see it more easily. Wriothesley voice: Ajax is fucking ginger? [This is lore relevant. No spoilers though.]
#ingital#do not talk to me about my fics im not normal /j#....................................... PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT MY FICS#krill#ask#wriothesley#neuvilette#the amount of one-shots i can do from the 10 year document. scratching my head indeed. why am i like this#YES their claw machine adventures are also noted in there.#wriothesley considers himself lucky though. like genuinely. he's happy that his vision held out long enough for him to take care of neuv#in his last few weeks carrying sigewinne. And then he was able to handle things for the first month of her baby life while Neuv recovers#he even pushed back his PTSD to focus on sige. but yeah. Once things started to settle tho. everything went wrong JKLNSDKLJNAJSNJKNSD#because trauma has a habit of only unleashing when you're in a safe enough position to deal with it. yknow.#also why neuv's separation anxiety and his mental illness peaked during his pregnancy with Carole. bc he's safe he lets his walls down#wriothesley also struggled with like. bad agoraphobia. I think I mentioned him being unable to leave the house for a while#was rough#but everything is fine in the end! because life happens but it can still be a happy life#telling myself this every damn day man its how i survive HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. FUCK ME.#neuvillette
19 notes
·
View notes