#normally i hate posting art back to back but ive been working on this shit for so long for no god damn reason LMAODSAJD | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deathclassic · 2 years ago

Text

i was tagged by @you-are-so-much-better-than-that and @mikhailoisbaby to do this fic writer/artist tag! ive never seen an artist version of this so this is exciting :D

1. Do you post on Ao3? If so, how many works do you have on AO3? If not, where do you post?

i dont post art on ao3 but i post fics there,,,,not gonna say my username though

2. What is your total art count?

we gotta be like 500+ by now

3. What are your top 5 pieces by likes/kudos?

they’re all dan and phil surprise surprise i was surprised that the first one has 12k notes for some reason. im just going to link them

spooky week sketches amazingphil shop spon PHIL QUIFF DEBUT!!! black ‘n’ white dan phil is not on fire collection

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to but sometimes i forget and i also dont have notifcations on any social media turned on so i miss a lot of things

5. What is your current fandom, and what was the first fandom you drew for?

currently drawing for umbrella academy, shameless and stranger things. first fandom i properly drew for was one direction but i was drawing stuff for like panic at the disco and powerpuff girls and my little pony and my chemical romance when i was like 7

6. Have you ever received hate on any art?

tonnes lol, i’d say every 2-3 pieces i draw gets some kind of negative attention. recently there’s been an asshole in my asks accusing me of fetishising ian and mickey so thats something to look forward to every time i pose

7. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t drawn for yet but want to?

i want to go back to shows i watched as a kid like total drama island and draw the characters in my art style, i did it with the winx club earlier this year and it was fun. i want to draw harringrove but im not mentally prepared to be like,,,sent death threats atm

8. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i dont know tbh ian and mickey are up there i guess

9. Do you draw outside of fandom?

yeah im a graphic designer so i draw a lot of shit

10. What’s the an art piece you’ve drawn that came out completely differently than you expected?

this one actually

11. Do you draw smut?

sometimes

12. Have you ever had any of your art stolen or copied?

yeah of course, someone sells my shit on redbubble and i have to keep reporting them

13. Have you ever collaborated on a piece?

yes! @mishervellous and i did that amazing comic together for gallacrafts and im so proud of that! also collaborated with a lot of dan and phil artists to make a calendar, a phil is not on fire poster and some general collabs for fun (if anyone wants to collab hmu bc im down)

14. What’s an idea you have that you have yet to draw?

i really want to draw drummer mickey for some reason

15. What are your drawing strengths?

people i guess, maybe like details on clothes and stuff?

16. What are your drawing weaknesses?

hands and feet lol

17. What’s your favorite art piece you’ve drawn?

im so proud of this drawing even though no one really liked it, like looking at it makes me so happy

18. What is one thing you’d like to tell people about your art that they might not know?

like harvey said haha i also use the same colour palette especially skin tones and hair colours also i sketch a lot of the drawings traditionally and then trace over it on photoshop

19. What inspires or motivates you to create for fandom?

myself. i would still be drawing even if no one notices it. heck i draw so much stranger things stuff only for a top of 10 people across instagram, twitter and tumblr to interact with it.

20. And finally, can you describe your process a little? Do you have a favourite place to draw? Do you play something in the background? Do you do research or just go for it? Give us a little insight

i sit at my desk and use a wacom tablet and my laptop. I have my other laptop open and im normally listening to a tv show that ive seen so i dont have to pay attention or a play through of a game or some creepy stories. sometimes i listen to music on my record player. i always spend ages looking at pose references and rage quitting when i dont draw it right the first time before coming back to it a few hours later. i draw mostly in the evenings, after dinner. sometimes i drink a hot chocolate if its late enough lol.

im gonna tag @mishervellous @doodlevich @heymrspatel @adakechi

#mutuals #tag game #m does art

7 notes · View notes

rigil-kentauris · 2 years ago

Text

tw unresolved whining

so i had to cancel my writing ai subscription today because i found out they were doing images and its just making me reflect. i dont use it so i didnt notice, i mostly just wanted to tool to grow and mature. it was like my one indulgence. anyway. i wasnt involved with ai writing tools at the the BEGINNING beginning, but i was definitively there before All This. and i remember having never been so excited in my life about writing. i hadnt actually had fun writing in years, i realized (went to college for creative writing degree, for reference. like this was supposed to be my whole ass Life).

and i felt so hopeful, because it seemed to me that this was the perfect tool for me personally. it filled in all the parts of me i struggle with because of Depression and Exhaustion and We Live In A Society disease. im not sure whether or not i was using it like it was supposed to be used back then (definitely not how its supposed to be used now), but it reall felt like having a dance partner. we went back and forth sentence by sentence (sometimes word by word), making something that pushed and challenged me because it would 'write' things that i wouldnt have even considered. and i could go off of that one word or turn of phrase for paragraphs. until i got stuck. and i suppose you could get that if you wrote with another human being, which could be cool, but it was also a paradoxically safe space. sometimes you dont want to write extremem trauma whump angst with other people and i think thats okay

and it was fun. and there were issues. but it was okay

and then the art bots came.

and i felt... angry, obviously, on behalf of all the artists who were getting jacked. but i was also... pissed off. because all of a sudden people hated AIs for theft unilaterally (a good thing to be mad about) but they hadnt given a shit before. back when it was writing. because i am also a writer of normal human works. on places where content was being scrapped from. and all of a sudden there was a new cultural norm, at least in the circles i cared to be in, and no one cared about writers. at all. in fact to date ive only seen one post/piece about ai theft of text and i went out looking for that.

and it was like. i hadnt thought about the datasets before, not really. no one thinks of this is stealing (fiction) writers jobs. its only just now, like the past couple months just now, becoming a talked about problem because it steals journalists and REAL writers jobs. academic jobs. serious good people. not nasty little fiction writers. much less poets i am not a poet but i have never ever seen anyone talking about ais taking jobs from poets. and they can. people who think ai cant write mostly, i think, dont know how to use them correctly. (then again i also think people who think they CAN write fall under the same umbrella, so... ai writing programs have. problems as unique spottable and predictable as image ais adding an extra finger.)

anyway at the time, though, i hadnt really thought about tet theft in datasets. back then you really had to KNOW what generative ais were to understand what was going on. no one was explaining except to other people who got it. and of the people who got it, no one was talking about it. i wish they had been. obviously we are all of us individually responsible for our participation in society but. why wasnt anyone talking about it before? why is it okay to steal someones words? or at least, passable. why is it still passable?

it just makes me feel things. and i dont have any answers. besides that writing AIs should be the EASIEST thing in the world to fix. unlike with art, the public domain for written fiction is both massive and still popular. as in, people will use an AI trained on older writing whereas AFAICT, the only ai image makers that make money need to mass-steal anime and pop art. no one's arguing about Ye Olde Oil Painting Ai.

i dunno. it feels. odd. because obviously i cant support a place that steals. but i feel some kind of emotion about dropping a tool that made me feel connected to writing again, in order to support a (good and important) fight that doesnt seem to care about writers at all

i dont have any resolution. just upsetness. i wish we could use this tool for all the good its capable of. instead right now its just a big theft machine.

one day with the march of tech i guess we'll be able to run beasts like these on our own, and then i think we'll see more ethical options. it just sucks in the meantime.

#salt #ai

4 notes · View notes

akingdomwalking · 6 months ago

Text

longwinded kink talk including discussion of specific kinks/my experiences and also discussion of CSA + grooming

genuinely a bit embarrassing being as bothered as i am by like. fuck. i hate "kink shaming" as a term partly cuz i think "shaming" as a descriptor of stigmatization is silly but also because i associate the phrase with people being incredibly annoying about the concept in Many Different Ways ranging from "earnestly treating kink like an axis of oppression" to the opposite end of treating kink as inherently negative and a punchline in and of itself and discomfort with "kink shaming" as the funniest thing ever

it's just like. on one hand i think that many online kink spaces especially more isolated ones feature deeply eroded boundaries and encourage boundary crossing in ways that are quantifiably harmful. but also there is a lot of "kink critical" talk that at best stems from personal discomfort and deep misunderstanding of how kinks work resulting in negative assumptions, and at worst is actively reactionary and itself veering into fash territory about policing "abnormality"

i havent poked that deeply into discussions of fantasies and where they come from and how they affect people internally because the topic gets triggering for me easily but i think a lot about the degree to which fantasy and arousal is just. so personal. and what someone Thinks is the erotic appeal of a specific topic/act to people who are into it, may actually be entirely different that the appeal some people actually find

like not to extremely show my ass but being a lifelong Vore Guy has given me some perspective around it cuz vore is sooooo widely joked about/misunderstood and theres not one singular Vore Fandom bc there are so many microfetishes and preferences and what different people like about it is so different from others who also like it

but also insofar as "kink shaming" or whatever u want to call it does material harm... i do think it is something that can isolate and harm people, especially young people, who are made to feel so strange and disgusting that we would tolerate any treatment from people who show acceptance towards it <- thing that happened to me as a real life teenager

i remember ages ago seeing people getting up in arms about a post along the lines of "protect kinky kids" and like yeah that phrasing sucks and i get why people were grossed out by it but like.... unironically we need to lol and by that i very straightforwardly mean "we need to include age-appropriate discussion of kink as part of sex education specifically so that kids are not made to feel so abnormal and isolated that they seek out friendship from literal predators" <- thing that happened to me as a real life teenager

ive been thinking about this for a while but especially since that callout post circulating abt that person running a mastodon instance specifically for connecting kids/teens to predatory adults and that included posts and profiles of teens being targeted like... how do you think that kind of public humiliation and exposure is going to affect teens who are already in danger. do you think blasting them for identifying as "adult attracted minors" is making them safer

i get that the idea of kink as something that develops with "normal" sexuality is upsetting to some people but literally it is... my first experiences of my own sexuality (in a safe context but. thats an entire other vent) were vore fantasies and even before i had a sense of sexuality at all i was 1) fascinated by eating/digestion/etc 2) aware that that fascination was not normal 3) extremely embarrassed and ashamed of that fascination; the fascination goes back basically my whole life - i have art from when i first was physically able to draw that makes that clear - while the shame came later, when i was around 7-8. and its like. damn. i did not need to develop so many neuroses because of this shit

rarrrgh this got long and a lot of this ive vented about on twitter before but it feels kind of nice to get it out without dealing with character limits.

0 notes

foilfreak · 4 years ago

Text

Nobody asked for this, but I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately so I’ve decided to post about it in the hopes that my brain will stop thinking about it if i write my thoughts out, or at the very least spit them out onto a tumblr post. So here’s a nowhere-near-comprehensive list of all the heroes who I think should be friends and why, in no particular order:

1. Iaian and Genos. I’ve talked about them before but I just think that they’d get along really well for some reason. They’re both fairly close in age and seem somewhat similar in personality and disposition so i think, given some time and heavy avoidance of the topic of whose master is superior, a good strong friendship could blossom between these two disciples, a friendship that gives them the opportunity to relax, let loose, and actually have fun in ways they wouldn’t normally because theyre usually too busy being responsible heroes and saving cities and innocent civilians from certain death and destruction. Idk I just want them to be best friends who secretly gossip and talk shit about other heroes over Mario Kart and a bottle of Absolute, is that so much to ask? Can Genos have a friend of his own for once plz?

2. Tanktop Master and Superalloy Darkshine. A friendship between these two gym rats would radiate such chaotic bro energy that i don’t think ppl would physically be able to handle the combined amount of protein powder and boiled chicken that must be seeping from these guys’ pore. That being said however, if I don’t see at least 1 chapter of them acting like total fucking morons together like ive seen in a few fics now, I will be flying to Japan to personally fistfight ONE and Murata.

3. Golden Ball and Child Emperor. This one comes with a few headcanons Ive created about Golden Ball so if u don’t see it I don’t blame u, but basically the idea is that Golden Ball is a pretty smart guy, he got like a masters degree in chemical engineering or something before becoming a hero, so Golden Ball and Child Emperor probably met at some science convention and got to know each other by talking about various scientific theories and whatever shit they happen to be working on at that time. Child Emperor will occasionally ask Golden Ball to guest lecture for one of his classes. Golden Ball’s probably asked child emperor to read over the thesis or research paper he’s working on and give suggestions. They’re fellow colleagues who share more in common than just being heroes and child emperor probably enjoys talking to an adult who actually has a brain cell or two on hand at any given moment.

4. Death Gatling and Smile Man. Gatling looks like he could use a friend looking out for him (both in hero work and just in general) and Smile Man seems like a really nice and cool guy, idk there’s just something I like about him and I think he’d be a good friend to someone like Death Gatling. I’d certainly be Smile Man’s friend, if nothing else!!!

5. Chain’n’toad and Mumen Rider. I liked seeing them work together and show concern for each other when they fought that lizard monster in the OVA, I think they’d be good friends and get along outside of work too!

6. Captain Mizuki and Fubuki. Fubuki needs a girl-friend who doesn’t work for her and Captain Mizuki seems like the kind of lady who’d have a positive impact on Fubuki if they ever did become friends.

7. Captain Mizuki and Lily. Girl alliance.

8. Captain Mizuki, Fubuki, and Lily. Ultimate Girl Alliance!

9. Captain Mizuki, Fubuki, Lily, and Okamaitachi. ULTRA MEGA SUPREME GIRL ALLIANCE!!!!!!!

10. Tatsumaki and King. Tbh I want them to fuck, but that’s a post for another day, I do however think that a friendship between the two of them would be beneficial for much the same reason as a relationship between them would work out, just minus the romantic elements. They both have a decent amount of respect for each other and I think they’d both encourage the other to improve themselves and become better people/heroes, which they actually would because you’re a hell of a lot more likely to take criticism from someone if you respect their opinion and see the validity in their criticisms/suggestions. Tatsumaki would force King to actually leave his house and go do stuff with her and King would force tatsumaki to chill the fuck out and not yeet ppl into walls... maybe.

11. Amai Mask and Zombieman. More or less the same deal as Tatsumaki and King except there’s an extra 5 months at the beginning of their “friendship” that consists almost entirely of just straight up hate fucking. They’d be friends with benefits if they stayed friends tho.

12. Atomic Samurai and Bomb. Kamikaze is friends with Bang therefor he’s friends with Bomb too, shut up

13. Spring Mustachio and Bushidrill. I want to see them get drunk together, i think that would be quite fun

14. Snek and Saitama. I want Snek to join the Saitama group and I want him to be PISSED about it.

15. Snek and Lightnight Max. On a slightly more serious note, I do think these guys would make good friends, if only because of their love for martial arts.

16. Pig God and All my love and affection. He just deserves it ok, idk what else to say.

And thats about all i can think of for right now, but ill be sure to come back with a part 2 if i can think of anything. Let me know what u think. Further suggestions are highly encouraged!

80 notes · View notes

carry-on-my-wayward-butt · 4 years ago

Note

He did? Umm.. what happened exactly?

(referring to this post)

my 11th grade chemistry teacher had an associates degree in liberal arts.

you know how in virtually every class you’ve ever had since middle school, your teachers made a big stink about the syllabus? she didn’t have one. this was her first teaching job, which she got because of her length experience as a substitute, not by her licensing qualifications. we were, at first, excited to have her, because she was a “fun sub” and we were 17 years old and stupid as all shit. we were the “normal chem” class in a system where the only other options were “honors chem” which was filled with children who actually know how to study (or cheat) and have an air of proper student activity, and “AP Chem”, which is clear enough if you’ve been an american student in the last 15 years.

she followed the mcgraw hill chemistry book in order of chapters, despite the fact that our state standardized tests did several of the chapters out of order. ever notice how you’ll suddenly be looking at chapter 11 when just last week you were on chapter 5, then the next week you’re on chapter 8? standardized testing is the reason. anyways by asking my friends in other classes who had chemistry teachers of relative competence, i was able to discern which chapters i should focus on, and while she was distracted with literally watching youtube videos all period, I was turning around in my seat and walking across the classroom helping my friends and enemies with the packets. (she was a two-packets-a-week kinda teacher.)

yes i said enemies too. the people i hated, i hated because they were sons of bitches i wouldnt piss on to put out a fire. i hated them so dearly i used to pray to god that they would bump into me so i could throw myself into the concrete and split my forehead open and get them expelled due to the blood-clause of our “zero-tolerance policy”. two of the kids in my class had, only the previous year, attempted to set my hair on fire.

i hated the teacher more.

it gave me extreme pleasure to see her fume and clench her fists when a student would say “i need help” across the classroom and she would move to get up and they would say “oh not you miss, im waiting for vicky.” jesus christ the only time ive ever felt a comparable high was when i was at a halloween party in college where i was literally so zooted i couldn’t move.

it got worse over time, her getting more and more angry, my ego growing larger and larger. i was a huge bitch in high school, i really thought i was the smartest bitch in the room at any given moment. severe main character syndrome. imagine that kind of person actually being right for 45 minutes out of every day. can you even comprehend the kind of frustration that would create? in a room full of little sociopaths who dont give a shit about anything but getting this joke of a class over with so they can graduate? your first real teaching job and they look right past you, the teacher, to this annoying little shit whose grades are completely abysmal? how are they managing to learn anything from a child who can barely speak in front of more than 10 people? who turns cherry red in the face of literally every authority figure in the building except you? who can’t concentrate and stay still in one spot for more than five minutes? all of your other classes behave! they listen! they sit down and shut up and do the packets! so what fucking gives!!!

so you say “fine, since you all HATE ME so much i just won’t teach then!!!” on literally week fucking ten of teaching. and instead of prostrating themselves before you, begging you to like... point at transparencies and read directly from powerpoints i guess.

and they all collectively say “okay” and let the chipmunk child flutter between desks and help them memorize formulas and mnemonic devices and shit. surely her grades will suffer if she’s constantly dealing with other people and you’ll have justification that her horseshit is “distracting” and “a detriment to her studies”. she got bored gave up on that after two days after nothing changed.

then we did the midterm.

except at the end of the exam packet was something we never learned because again, she was going through the book chronologically. because i actually enjoyed the chem book (so much that i stole it when the year was up lmao), i knew the material.

it was about lewis dots/structures. i couldn’t tell you a damn thing about it today but in december 2010 i absolutely knew that shit. i didnt have too much of a problem with it in the exam, but the students who had gotten to that point were complaining and at first she pulled that “you should have been studying independently uwu” shit but the class was about to get loud during exam period so she shushed us and said that when we get to that point, just stop, and she’ll mark it correct during grading, no harm no foul just keep it quiet. one of the more confrontational students called horseshit and said theres no way we’re trusting that and there’s definitely no way anyone will keep an entire classroom cheating at the instruction of the teacher quiet.

i offered to teach it.

she scoffed, rolled eyes, said “sure fine but you can’t get your exam back” and i said “okay.” so when everyone was to the point in the exam, we piled them all on her desk and i used the whiteboard to briefly and quietly explain lewis dots, used the book examples and problems, and helped the other kids understand. there were a couple exam questions that were lifted straight from the book problems so i skipped those. while teaching i realized i had gotten a couple wrong which sucked :( it was an incredibly stupid experience overall, and no teacher worth the paper their certification is printed on would have allowed that to happen. and fucking yet.

anyways everyone but me got their exams back and finished it and many of us passed, only a few of them did particularly well.

discussing the chem exam with friends who also took the chem exam, many students found their anecdote about the lewis dots to be confounding, for you see, the exam we took was not, in fact, the midterm, but the god damned final.

she had us taking the fucking final because she didnt read the fucking folders which read “midterm” and “final exam” on them

she was reprimanded severely and we all had to take the exam on different days, in different classrooms, sitting very far apart. after that she hated me even more. like girl it was your fault lmao i am literally a teenager grow up lol. anyways you can imagine how much more fucking insufferable i became, knowing how miserable she was.

it all came to a head in february when some students were giggling quietly following a minor fuck up on her part regarding bellwork. they were making fun of her like “are you sure thats not tomorrows bellwork lol” and a friend next to me did the “hey i need help wait no miss not you sorry” thing and when i answered him, she solidly snapped. blah blah YOURE SOOOO DISTRACTING blah blah YOU THINK YOURE SOOOO SMART DONT YOU blah blah blah and she was like demanding i leave the room and shouting at the top of her lungs at me “ YOU POISON THE MINDS OF EVERY OTHER STUDENT HERE. YOU’RE POISONOUS VICTORIA, YOU’RE A VIRUS IN THIS CLASSROOM.”

i will never forget that line as long as i live. it was like crack to me. i moved to open the door to leave and the vp opened it first. he escorted me to the office and asked me what happened, then told me to keep my head down in class from now on, and that if i wanted to help my friends i should give them my number and help them out on our own time. i was like “bro thats really stupid” and he was like “thats all we can do right now but i promise we’re working on it”

i lasted the rest of the year giving smug smiles as we did packet after fucking packet for the rest of the year. they were all take-home work. i wasnt comfy giving my number to my enemies. the class camaraderie ended.

the final was altered. my class took a different final than the rest of the normal chem classes.

i started 12th grade and got a solid case of senioritis. i told that story to anyone who would listen. while it was happening, i obviously told my favorite teacher everything as it happened. when i mentioned it senior year he was like “oh yeah i forgot about her,

she was fired over the summer.”

#let me tell you bitch i SCREAMED......#anyways im not sorry this was long #its literally the only cool thing thats ever happened to or about me so shrugs #Anonymous

422 notes · View notes

emybain · 5 years ago

Note

For the kiss prompts. Maybe 42 or 3 for nodrian💙

why not both hehe. no joke ive been trying to post this for two days now. i finished it the other night but i just keep forgetting to post lol. these are NOT connected in any way and they are both post supernova. The first one is a little aged up and fair warning, it’s a bit on the pg-13 side (im so sorry to all my cinnamon followers just LOOK AWAY)

3-a breathy demand:”kiss me” - and what the other person does to respond

42-distracting kisses from someone that are meant to stop the other person from finishing their work, and give them kisses instead

ao3

Nova peeked into the art studio of Adrian’s town house, pushing the door open enough so she could see him. Yep. He was still at his easel. At least he had chosen to pull up a barstool instead of continuing to stand; he had been painting for hours.

Times like this weren’t uncommon. For both of them. It was normal for them to not see one another for hours whenever Nova came over or vice versa, and there was nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, it was just comforting to be in each other’s presence. And it wasn’t like how they used to be, co-depending on one another after the supernova and inseparable. No, after a mutual decision to give one another a break, here they were four years later, going on a stable three years together. They were better now, after both receiving much needed therapy and time to think over everything. It wasn’t easy, especially for Nova, who felt as though she had no one to go to after the supernova, but it gradually got more attainable.

Except for now, when Nova was getting an itch for, well…special attention, and she hadn’t seen Adrian since their early dinner. Before he had let her know he was going to go work on a project, she was going to subtly suggest they extend their date night a couple hours. It was fine, Nova was fine. She figured he would only disappear for a little while and rejoin her in the living room, where she decided to pick up a book from his bookcase. Except he didn’t. So now she had to take things into her own hands.

“Hey, Babe,” she greeted softly, entering the room slowly. Sometimes, he got so caught up in his work that he didn’t notice Nova until she touched him, which, based on past occurrences, messed him up. “I brought you some water.”

She stepped into his line of sight and set the glass down on the small table beside him. He didn’t respond, though from the tilt of his head, she could tell he heard her. Sigh.

“You’ve been working really hard, you know. Maybe it’s time for a break?” She took a step toward him, biting her lip and bringing her hand up to the cotton button down she was wearing, fingering the top button. He grunted in response, quietly thanking her for the water. Nova rolled her eyes. Come on. She knew she got like this, too, but tonight, she decided it was ridiculous. She wanted attention, damn it.

Walking behind him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned down. He tensed at first, but relaxed just as quickly. He even turned his head around and pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek. Well, it was something.

“Come to bed,” she murmured in his ear, lips brushing against the top. “I miss you.” To prove it, she kissed behind his ear. She felt him stiffen again, even as he continued painting. Her lips trailed down his neck, holding back a smile.

“I’ll come in a little bit.” The satisfaction she got from his shaky voice was delicious. “Let me just finish this one section and I’ll be there, okay?”

Oh, that wouldn’t do. He cursed when she nipped at the hollow in his throat, making sure her hair hung over to expose her neck. Just to tease him. “Why not now, though?” she hummed against his skin, deepening every kiss. His name escaped from her mouth in a sigh, a desperate need. She couldn’t help herself.

“Shit, Nova.” He leaned back a little, much to her delight, as her hands went up his shirt, nails scraping against his chest. She stopped her caresses for a moment to blink at him innocently. A warm feeling washed over her at how dark his eyes were, a deeper brown than usual. They were breathtaking.

Nova wiped at a dried paint spot on his cheek. “What?”

He let out a long sigh, took one look at the unfinished painting, and set down his supplies. Nova grinned. She moved to sit in his lap, not really caring where she got attention as long as she just got it. But Adrian had other plans.

Nova screeched as he stood suddenly and scooped her up into his arms. Their laughter echoed down the dark hallway and into Adrian’s bedroom, where it continued well into the night.

__________

They were the only ones in the training hall, save for a few runners or weightlifters with earbuds in. Nova ducked as Adrian threw a punch at her, rolling to her left and pouncing back up, landing a kick to his side. He grimaced. Nova would’ve felt bad, except he had been the one to suggest a quick hand-to-hand combat fight. She pushed her sweaty bangs out of her eyes. Feeling generous, she took a few steps back to give Adrian a moment to collect himself. His eyes followed her as she circled him, knees bent at the ready. When he smirked at her and motioned her forward, she scrunched her face up.

With a battle cry impressive enough for long-dead gods, she charged him. He blocked her blow and grabbed her forearm, twisting her around to hold her in a choke-hold. But Nova saw it coming. She rammed her heel into his foot, causing him to let her go. Nova rolled away, landing in a crouch. While he was distracted, she swept her leg out, knocking him to the ground. Before he could get back up, she had him pinned down, holding his wrists down with her knees.

They were both breathing hard, staring at one another in silence. A dull pain rose up in Nova’s side where Adrian had got her earlier. It was worsening slowly, no doubt forming into a nasty bruise. A fight less than ten minutes had stolen all of her energy.

“I win.” She grinned at him, leaning over and patting his cheek with a gloved hand. Ever since the supernova a few months ago, Nova made an effort to wear gloves whenever she was training with another prodigy. Adrian was the only one who said she didn’t have to around him, that he trusted her, but they still helped her feel more at ease. The rest of her team was still wary around her, and Nova only wanted them to be more comfortable. Sure she could still knock them out with any skin contact, but her hands were her biggest weapon. She hadn’t even been on patrols with them since the supernova, choosing instead to do jobs around headquarters. Just something to keep her busy, and to show the Renegades that she was on their side, for real this time. Some of her jobs may have been made up, like going to bother the Council about anything she thought would help in the process of transitioning into a more democratic government. It was a very, very slow process, but at least she was beginning to see progress. See what her father had envisioned so many years ago.

Adrian interrupted her thoughts by managing to flip them over. Nova’s back hit the foam mat, air rushing out of her body. He held both of her arms over her head with one of his. “No, I think I do.”

“Asshole,” she grumbled, squirming under his weight that only seemed to get heavier the more she moved. “That doesn’t count.”

Her heart raced as he brought his head closer, eyebrows raised. She could smell his cologne, that wonderful pine scent. She chastised herself for breathing in just a little deeper so she could catch more of that intoxicating fragrance. Tilted her head a bit to the side to avoid his intense gaze. Because, well, they were broken up. Nova knew they needed it, that choosing to continue a relationship after what happened would only end in flames. Much as she hated to admit it, it was unhealthy. Adrian had been the first person to truly see Nova for who she was instead of just a pawn on the chessboard or a lie or whatever the media liked to come up with every morning after they had their coffee. He understood her and her trauma. To just…let him go like that…was agonizing. But she knew it was only temporary, that they still both harbored deep feelings for one another. Maybe in a few months and after dozens of therapy appointments, they would be able to talk about getting back together. At least now, after a couple months of coming to terms with the break up, she could handle being alone with him again. Being friends, laughing and spending time together. Well, for the most part.

To put things simply, Nova was very thankful at that moment that the Council had changed the rule that uniforms are mandatory even in the training hall. And she was very thankful that Adrian had discarded his shirt two minutes into their five mile run earlier that morning.

“Someone’s just bitter they owe me breakfast.” Nova scoffed, remembering their deal earlier. She jumped suddenly, eyes widening at his hand on her cheek, caressing it. His brows were furrowed. “I didn’t know I got your face. I’m sorry about that.”

Holding her breath, Nova placed her hand over his. He met her eyes and blinked. “It’s fine. Probably just from the mat.” Her voice was barely over a whisper.

She definitely saw his eyes dip down and focus on her lips for a moment; she couldn’t help but do the same. Somehow, all of her weaknesses regarding him, weaknesses that she had been suppressing for months, were all laid out in front of her. She wanted nothing more than to just…just…

“Kiss me,” she breathed, only slightly noticing how demanding she sounded in that moment.

He stilled. “Nova, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Yet his voice was gruff. Yet he didn’t move from his position over her.

“It’s not.” She licked her lips.

His eyes softened and he bent his head down. Nova raised hers up greedily to meet him. It had been an eternity since she had tasted his soft lips.

But just as their lips brushed, sending a current of electricity down Nova’s spine, Adrian was gone.

Nova sat up and could only watch as he walked away, grabbing his shirt and roughly pulling it over his head. He didn’t look back.

#nova artino #adrian everhart #ruby tucker #oscar silva #danna bell #narcissa cronin #nodrian #tuckva #osby #danissa #renegades #archenemies #supernova #supernova spoilers #asks #my writing

80 notes · View notes

ivyisms · 4 years ago

Text

- ̗̀ NOW INTRODUCING: IVES ❝ IVY ❞ SERRANO !

( DANNA PAOLA, 24, CISFEMALE ) I just bumped into IVES "IVY" SERRANO the other day while walking down NORTH Kingsboro, where SHE lives. I hear they can be SEDUCTIVE and MANIPULATIVE, but when I think of them I immediately think about ROSE PETAL BLUNTS, STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE, AND SIX INCH STILETTOS.

hi hello it’s tay back again w another one of my demon spawn muses !! apparently chaotic bisexuals w fcs from elite is just my brand™️ but anyway ivy is probably my favorite oc i’ve ever made so i have A Lot to say abt this messy bitch !! if u go H E R E i have a very long stats/bio page with pretty much everything i could think of BUT i will try to summarize the main points semi-concisely

- ̗̀♡ — › background !

the main thing u need to know about ivy is that she is lying ! always !! her real name isn’t even actually ivy smh

she was born natalie rose serrano, to two working class parents in new york city. she knew from a young age that she was just supposed to be rich and famous, and that something had gotten mixed up somewhere and she was put in the wrong life.

in high school she got a scholarship to a fancy private catholic school, and that’s where she started to hone her craft of manipulating rich people. she would befriend all of the richest bitches at school and take advantage of everything that came along with it: vacations to far away places, stays in the family’s cabins and lake houses, even designer clothes that her friends no longer wanted and would gift to her, thinking it was their idea all along

as she grew up and got better at getting what she wanted out of people, her entitled attitude only got worse, driving a wedge between her and her parents, who kept waiting for her to develop a work ethic and kept being disappointed. a few months after she graduated high school, on her 18th birthday, her parents kicked her out of the house and cut her off, hoping that it would force her to grow up and take on any responsibility

but that plan backfired for them, her parents underestimating how truly stubborn natalie was. the day after her 18th, she wandered into a local strip club and got a job, figuring it’d be the easiest and quickest way to get some cash, and she took to it naturally and actually really enjoyed stripping

she started to embody an entirely new persona that she had created for herself, dancing under the name poison ivy and telling everyone she was a trust fund baby that had been cut off from her rich parents, needing to dance to supplement her income, and her lies just continued to spiral out of control until she almost started to believe it herself. she had never told anyone at the club her real name, not even the other strippers, just going by “ivy” for a while.

she had learned to weaponize the power she had over people by being pretty and charming, using her looks for absolute evil and doing whatever it took to get money—from straight up pickpocketing, to making men buy her expensive gifts, to blackmailing, to sugar babying, to getting patrons wasted and manipulating them into tipping her absurd amounts... she did it all, very quickly earning enough to live the life she had always dreamed of, that she felt she deserved for whatever twisted reason.

she started posting on instagram with the name poison ivy generally just flaunting her carefree, extravagant life, often exaggerating or down right lying just to really dazzle her quickly growing audience

as she started to go down the influencer route, she realized she needed to do something to hide the skeletons in her closet ( the fact that she didn’t actually come from money and was making far more than was normal for even the best of dancers, a couple of small possession / shoplifting charges, and just generally anything that could lead people to her real identity ) so she started to tell people her name was ives, fully taking on the new identity. she even went so far as to make some of the people that had been closest to her sign NDAs about her real identity, making sure that no one could sell info about her should her plan of being famous work out

and it did work out !! at first she was definitely buying followers/likes to boost her likelihood of brand sponsorships, but eventually she faked it until she made it and actually attained influencer status

she also started sleeping around with pretty much any famous person she could, having very public relationships and breakups and scandals to keep her name in the press, which ultimately lead to more exposure/people following her, if only to see what she did next, which lead to even more sponsorships

she’s probably been in kingsboro for a few years, living in a super fancy one bedroom apartment that she definitley doesn’t pay for ( she doesn’t even know how much her rent is tbh )

eventually she stopped dancing and just focused on her influencing or whatever, but she never stopped sugar babying and scamming rich stupid men, still very much using that as a means to keep up her lifestyle. she’s also done a few modeling things, but it’s mostly just like catalog work or being the face of a trendy campaign bc she’s way too short for the runway

she also recently made an only fans account bc she was bored one night and was mostly planning on posting once as a joke but then she made a bunch of money / got a bunch of subscribers and was like oh word ? i can do that ! so she will post on there from time to time but she’s not like... super serious about it ya know ?

so basically she’s jus here making money being pretty and pulling a long ass scam on... everyone

- ̗̀♡ — › personality !

she’s a real two faced bitch... she has perfected the art of becoming whoever she thinks other people want her to be, quickly adapting her personality to get whatever she wants

she’s usually pretty friendly actually, really charming and outgoing and just trying to have a good time

she has a pretty short temper tho and holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe, so once you’re on her bad side... good luck lol she is so ruthless

she’s like... deeply, deeply selfish and will always put herself first, but she’s so manipulative that she can make people do things that they think are their idea, but it’s really just something she planted in their head so it’s not always obvious

also very spoiled and will throw a mf fit if she doesn’t get her way or u say no to her

always going out !! always doing the most !! she’s the type to show up randomly at ur door at 8pm on a tuesday with a bottle of tequila and make u party with her whether u like it or not

she’s a lot smarter than she lets on sometimes, like she knows people expect her to be stupid and ditzy and shallow and she’ll let them underestimate her when it’s beneficial

always looks perfectly put together— her nails are always meticulously manicured, usually w stiletto shaped acrylics, and you’ll literally never see her outside her house without makeup and a perfectly composed outfit. it’s also a rare occasion that she’s not wearing at least six inch heels, trying to make up for bein so mf short ( she’s 5’3 )

she talks A Lot but is really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything, like you can be best friends with her for months and then just be like “i don’t actually know a single thing about her”

always up to no good and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong !! she’s always got some sort of scheme going or getting in to some kind of drama

v much a hoe and v much proud of it, will sleep w just about anyone especially if she can get something out of it

also a serial dater !! she’s always hoping in and out of relationships and being rumored to be with a dozen people at once

most definitely calls paparazzi on herself, especially when she’s around other famous ppl but will never admit it

compulsive liar, she will literally lie about the dumbest things like she doesn’t even need a reason to lie she jus.. does

- ̗̀♡ — › wanted connections !

hookups / flings / one night stands / fwbs all that shit !!

exes on bad terms ... gimme drama pls

enemies / ppl she’s stolen from maybe... she would definitely deny it and say they’re jus jealous of her or smth stupid but that could make the feud worse

party pals !! like i said she goes out a lot and always somehow manages to make new friends and drag them into her shenanigans

on again / off again exes... i want the Angst so bad..

unlikely friends !! like ppl who are nice and sweet and Pure, she could use a lil good energy in her life

neighbors ... mb they hate her for always being loud n throwing mini parties OR maybe they join in

mean girl rivalries !!

someone she’s taking advantage of / stealing from without them knowing .. oof

partner in crime !!!

one sided crushes or like someone she’s stringing along smh

sugar daddies mb 😇

someone to put her in her mf place JDKDKD like they call her out on her bs and are like “i see what ur doing bitch stay away from my friends” type thing

idk anything really !! gimme all the messy plots ok :~)

#kingsboro.intro

2 notes · View notes

askthesnake · 5 years ago

Note

Hey m8, I have an idea for a comic (I've already designed the characters and have a blog for it but I don't know how to start it or get people to see it, and I'm not really confident in my art skills. Any advice?

Of course!

Lets look at what you've accomplished! You have the characters and the basic story figured out! That's a great start and honestly it's one of the hardest things to do when you're starting a comic.

As for getting people to actually see and interact with your comic, for Tumblr its all about the tags. Depending on what type of comic it is can sort of help you decide which tags to use. So for example if its web comic do stuff like #webcomic or maybe the genre of the comic can help too.

If its a comic for a fandom you're also pretty set too. Character tags are always pretty buzzing with people looking for fresh content. Just be respectful and responsible and don't tag characters that don't have Any thing to do with your work. Like for example, when I first started this blog, I included tags for ALL the sides, despite the fact that in the beginning my asks only had Deceit featured in them. Thankfully I didn't get hounded for it and I learned eventually, but either way just be responsible about tagging.

Oh while we're still on tagging, if your comic has some thing potentially triggering remember to tag that appropriately. Like for blood #tw blood or #blood mention as an example.

As for your art style and lack of confidence there of, just know you're definitely not alone. I've met a plethora of artists and I can confidently say none of them are truly ever happy or confident with their work. Even now I find myself looking at work I've done like a few days ago and wretching. I can however positively tell you that running this ask blog/comic has SIGNIFICANTLY improved my art style in at least half the time it would have taken normally. Its because im drawing constantly and always trying new things to make the art for this blog more appealing to new viewers. Running a comic is a fantastic way to better your art and gain confidence in it. Like yeah im not always super happy with what I post here, but looking back at stuff I've in the past compared to some of the stuff I've put on this blog honestly kinda boosts my confidence as am artist. Not to mention it really high lights where you've improved and where you still need to work on things. Personally I like your art style!! I got your Deceit drawing and I think it's wonderful! You're really not as bad as you think you are, and personally I think you've got a pretty strong style to start with.

I guess my next piece of advice is, to put it simply, never under any circumstances take shit from others. Do not let people's words and comments discourage you. Ever. Its much easier said than done I know, and even now I can't really give you any advice on how to avoid such things. The best I can do is warn you. I've had personal friends make fun of me for running this blog and like honestly that hurts differently. I made this blog when I was going through a very eye opening and dark time in my life, so naturally it means a whole lot to me. This blog was and still very much is a safe place for me to run too. There are going to be people who aren't going to understand that unfortunately and I really wasn't prepared for it. So hear this, be prepared for shitty people to rag on you for doing some thing that makes you happy. Im not saying it WILL happen, just be prepared just in case. Also on a similar note ignore anon hate. I think during my year with this blog I've only gotten one anon hate message, and it wasn't even that bad?? It was someone commenting on my chubby Logan post. Whatever, literally ignore the hell out of anon hate. People who take time out of there to bully someone on this godforsaken website aren't worth your time.

But, if anon hate does get to you, always know that you can talk to someone. My askbox and dms are always open if someone wants to talk or vent. People are assholes, and sometimes if you gotta vent you gotta vent.

Also, don't ever let your comic and blog impede your mental health. If you're feelin bad you're feelin bad. Remember to drink water and stay hydrated. Then again, if drawing is how you cope, then by all means draw your heart out you funky lil artist.

Finally, don't be afraid to reblog your own stuff. I do it, I know other art tumblrs who do it. You're gonna feel bad and annoying about doing it, but just do it man. It's not bad or wrong. I live on the west coast, historically Ive been known to post my art at like 12-4 am. Once like noon hits where I'm at I'll reblog my own art just to make sure everyone saw it, and then I'll reblog it again at some random time the next day just because.

Also, a small secret about this blog, I sent the first ask to this blog. I literally logged off this blog, hopped on my old tumblr and sent an ask to this blog. Its a pretty easy way to show people that your blog is Up and Running. Im not sure what kind of comic your making, but if its an interactive one like a web comic and you're not getting any asks, then there is no shame in doing this.

#long post

15 notes · View notes

rk800isalive · 5 years ago

Text

hey, if you follow me please read my rules. I don’t have them for shits and giggles. They are there for a reason! But you know if you can’t find them for any damn reason even though I’ve posted them like so many damn places I’ll post them under read more.

Hey there dear! Here is all you need to know about this rper/ask blog!

updated: Aug 7,2019

About the blog:

-I’ve wrote this a few times now on the blog but I am Semi-Selective and Mutuals only. I have a lot of anxiety or rping with to many people. I do open up to more people in time. Again, I rp for fun and as a stress release I don’t want to start making rping stressful.

-If I’m following you and you follow back. How do you know it’s me?? I send geckos and danger noodles. I’m very shy when first interacting so I send geckos on anon. It’s a way for me to 1) judge your muse and how they handle things. 2) It makes me feel better as a starter to say hello.

-This blog is a nsfw/sfw blog.

-I don’t rp with minors. I’m literally over 21+ I don’t feel personally comfortable with minors interacting or rping with me. Nothing against ya, I’m just not comfy with it. Other reasons are because I rp a lot of adult/dark themes and I don’t feel comfy with minors being around that.

-I’ll pretty much rp anything except anything NSFW with minors or anything NSFW with minor muses.

-I will unfollow if I feel like pretty wiggy about your blog. By this I mean, let’s say you post a canon call. Then you make a post complaining about people liking said canon call. I mean this like you do this a lot. I’m old and I don’t care and it comes off as wiggy to me.

-I do not accept or acknowledge hate to anyone of any kind on my blog, thank you. If I see it on my blog I’m going to delete it. This means I do not condone sending or receiving hate of any kind to others or myself.

-I also will add a side note to this because I can’t believe I have to do this. If I don’t accept of acknowledge hate that also means I will not send hate. I have not and will never do such actions.

-Muse =/= Mun. This means the Mun and Muse do not always share the same feeling or would act the same way. We are two different people.

-I do not rp with blogs that do not have at least an about and/or a rules page. I feel much more comfortable seeing those. I don’t care if your blog is fancy or if you have icons. Just these two things at least is important to me.

-I write to have fun! Rping is a hobby of mine and really helps destress me. Enjoy what you do and have fun with it! Don’t worry about replying right away, I’m chill with waiting.

-I don’t own any of the icons or art you see me use unless I have stated otherwise.

-Highly Selective to OC’s. I explain why further down in my rules.

Dos and Don’ts rules:

-Don’t take control of my character please.

-Please no GodMods.

-Do not guilt trip me into responding to you. I will block you.

-Also please be aware if you reblog rp with thislovelylady/ alannasroleplaymemes, or really any of this person’s blogs I will unfollow and block you. This is non-negotiable.

-Do not follow me if you follow any blogs connected to sinsofexcalibur/ giseinohana or really any of their blogs. If you do follow or interact with said person I will unfollow and block you. Nothing against you, I really don’t want to get into why this person makes me uncomfortable just understand this is one of my rules. This too is non-negotiable

-Don’t guilt me for calling you senpai. I say it in an I think you’re cool and want to be friends. Again I’m old. I literally remember when yaoi paddles were a thing. Not that I ever had one, but man oh man, do I remember them.

-Don’t come at me with hating on ships. You can like or dislike what you want. I just don’t want to hear it.

-If I don’t answer your threads or starters either tumblr ate it or I haven’t had time to get to it.

-Feel free to remind me to reply. Life happens and I’m also just ADHD so my attention span is crap at times. Just don’t spam me about it.

-I do not start drama, I do not like getting into drama, and as such I ask you not to tag me in drama. I like living my life as drama free as possible.

-If you are a personal blog and you reblog my threads you are not apart of I will block you. It’s rude don’t do it.

-Do not reblog ooc posts outside of posts that can say you can reblog. Or are posts like followers forever. Just…. literally think about it. If it looks like you are unsure you can message me. Just use common sense.

-Do not ask me why I have not followed you yet. Like that’s some guilt trip bull. If I haven’t followed you yet, I either a) didn’t see the notification. b) Saw you followed checked out your blog and you don’t have a muse, or rule page and didn’t follow c) felt wiggy about your blog d) I just didn’t notice you followed and haven’t seen your blog yet.

-Just because I’m not following you doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me. I’m chill if you send anons.

-I always cut my posts. Please cut yours. It’s not too hard to do there are like a million tutorials showing how to do so. If you don’t trim your posts I’m most likely going to unfollow you. There really isn’t any excuse as to why you can’t trim your posts. On mobile there is a giant X you can press. This is true on desktop as well.

-Do not reblog my threads unless you are apart of them. If you do I will block you.

-I’m not an rp meme blog, if you are not a mutual please don’t reblog the memes. Reblog it from the sources.

Triggers:

-The only triggers I have is Sharks (Realistic Images or video of them) and IV Needles. I just ask that you please tag them. It’s cool if you forget it happens. Mostly it’s the needle bit that is the worst trigger. I have other trigger they are just very rare and very hard to hit. I’ll let ya know if you ever hit them.

-If you need something tagged just let me know.

-I will tag things if you need it tagged. I’m also an idiot and forget sometimes. Just slap me with a friendly reminder message and I’ll tag it for ya. When I tag things I always forget to tag things with ‘tw’ at the end. Example rather then writing ‘gore tw’ I write ‘gore’. Again, I do this mostly because I forget to put ‘tw’ at the end.

Shipping / writing:

-I’ll just slide this in here too. I ship chemistry, if I feel the two muses are getting along and you wanna ship them I’m down. I don’t ship with minors. If you wanna have a family bond connection with my muse, smack dat message button and hit me up. I’m down for chatting about it and plotting it out!

-I ship Connor/Hank personally but this doesn’t mean every Hank my muse meets will want to jump their bones. Again I can’t stress enough how I ship chemistry. I won’t ship with anyone right off the bat unless you talk to me ahead of time and want to plot something out.

-If your Hank only sees Connor as a son, I’m totally cool with that too. Again I do not ship anything unless you’ve messaged me before hand. I just like chemistry between muses first.

-I will ship hate pairings, crack pairings, and just because pairings.

-If you want to ship with my Connor, hit me up. Again this is normally after we’ve been rping for a while. I’m for the most part chill about shipping.

-I have my own NTP I’m chill with talking about them. I’m also over all a very chill but weenie of new peeps person. Again I’ve been around a while.

-If you have a ship you wanna try out with my Connor slap that message button and I’m more than happy to chat it out. We can come up with an idea. But again I prefer chemistry first over shipping.

-I love to plot things out. If you have an AU you would like to try out I’m totally open for it.

-If you see mistakes in my grammar and spelling I am sorry. I tend to type fast and sometimes aren’t able to catch all my mistakes. Please bare with me on that and I’ll most likely edit my posts. Or more commonly I’ll respond with like little to no sleep in me and don’t realize I messed up spelling or used the wrong words or grammar till like the next day or when I post my reply and reread it. Again I have insomnia… most days I’m up till like 3-4 am. Not even lying there. Some days I sleep for like… 14 hours. There is little to no in between.

-I can and will rp dark themes. I love rping angst or pretty much anything. That being said, just be aware of my fear of needles. I will rp sharks just because I can’t physically see them. Writing about that doesn’t bother me just anything to do with blood work just … yeah.

-I write rather large posts when I role play. Don’t feel intimidated because you don’t have to match my post size. It’s just my thing I do. I only ask that if I reply with let’s say a paragraph I wish for at least a paragraph back. This doesn’t apply if it’s a crack thread. Those are just up in the air and fun.

-If your muse is an OC, from a different fandom, or if he never met you in the game and your beginning message/thread/starter is acting like he knows you right from the get go and he doesn’t I might not answer the ask or thread. Just because sometimes it makes me uncomfortable unless it just fits or you have messaged me ahead of time.

-I also love the idea of my Connor viewing any of the Rk series as family. If you don’t see it that way hit me up and I’m chill with it.

-If the post is long or nsfw based I put them under read more.

Just things I didn’t really know where else to put:

-I am SUPER shy online. In person I’m a loudmouth who isn’t afraid of anything. So it takes me a good long time to message people to rp.

-I am one whole weenie. If you get geckos/ danger noodles (snakes) in your anon box. -dabs- dat be me. Trying to get over being a weenie one gecko at a time. I don’t what it is I’m just very very shy online.

-I call new peeps who follow me senpais till I feel comfortable to be not nervous.

-If I follow you 99.9% I probably want to rp with you. I’m also a weenie so I’m probably intimidated to message you if you wanna thread or rp. I has the anxiety…

-I’ve been rping for 9+ years off tumblr, +6 on tumblr, and about +4 years on discord.

-I tend to update my blog a lot because I want my blog to be the best that it can be in my eyes. Your blog doesn’t have to be this detailed or fancy looking I just hold my blog to a stupid standard in my head.

-Mun is 21+ and pretty much only feels comfortable rping with 18+ muns.

-I have Major Depression, ADHD, PTSD, Anxiety, and DID. I do have a blog for my system they probably won’t interact on this blog. Please be aware of this as there are days I just… struggle.

-I am always tired, if I’m not tired I’m hyper as fuck.

-I read the rules and about everyone’s blog I ever follow. I feel more comfortable and more likely to rp with you when I see the rules and about pages. I will read about the mun pages too. This allows me to get a peak into not only your muse but who you are.

-OCs I’m so sorry I’m a bit picky at times. If I can’t picture my muse interacting with them I sort of just… Don’t bother. It’s nothing against your oc. I promise you that. I am just a little picky after being burned a few times.

-I do not have a password system mostly because I would forget my own password. But if you are reading all this and got all the way here, thanks!!

-I’m just here to have fun. I want to rp as a way to help my own stress of life. If you like my Connor, great! Thank you for liking him! If you don’t, cool, you don’t have to. I like all sorts of ships. I don’t really care about gender mostly because I myself am pan but I just don’t care. If two characters mingle well and feelings start to arise I’m more likely to ship it. You don’t have to like the ship. It’s cool.

-I am 28. I’ve been rping for a stupid ass long time. I’ve seen shit in fandoms come and go. I don’t care about drama, I don’t want your drama, I’m just here to have some fun. Cool. That’s gonna come off as mean… Sorry.

-I have the right to follow and unfollow who I wish. I also have the right to rp with whom I wish and whom I don’t wish. ( Though if I am already following you, I’m 100% willing to rp with you.)

-It takes me a while to respond to things. Again I want to make this clear, I have a lot of mental illnesses that just make me struggle most of the time. I deal with heavy insomnia. Sometimes I’m lightning fast with threads other times it takes me a bit. Or tumblr just decided to fucking yeet my god damn drafts again. In which case hit me up on dms like if I haven’t gotten to the thread after like two weeks. Most likely tumblr fucking ate it.

If you finished reading and you would like to know more about the Mun and the muse here you are!

The mun just click here. My muse click here.

#ooc #The emerald speaks #I’m getting real tired of having mild anxiety/ptsd attack cause people don’t read them #gonna start hard core fucking blocking next #i don't like being like this and it's pissing me off

3 notes · View notes

sadbastardhour · 5 years ago

Text

Long Post Ahead assult abuse ment

Theres been so much going on and between so many people I dont know where to go?? Ive been trying. I know I dont have a full job but Ive been working cleaning as a maid inbetween to get something in, and Brody isnt making it easier. He's an instigator and always will be and it makes Cheryl more and more pissed and it seems like itll never get better. I keep trying to ignore it but it gets harder and harder. I picked the worst time to quit, I know. Summer is high time for a flooded market. Sending me and brody shit through group text about how worthless we are doesn't work just because all brody does is lounge.

I get out of the house. I see people. I gp places, have experiences. Working. I'm not stagnant. Life is trying amd I can't keep up. Last night was awful. The past two calendar weeks have been awful. Ive been trying Cheryl. I've been able to ground more as I type. I'm still so fucking anxious. Why do I get drug under with brody? We're different people. Kick him out, not me. I'm going to be moving out in October even if Missouri falls through in the moment Ill still go else where. I cant. I hate her. I hate that for the past month Ive been packing more after each time I get yelled at. I fucking get it I look like Mike, I get it what Mike did and it will NEVER be the fault of the child for what happened to be bought here. You literally ould have aborted me and even now 20yrs down I wouls have forgiven you for doing it. To see what my life would be? God, put me back. Brody stop typing in chat youre making her mad.

Its not my fault he assaulted you and you never believed me when he did it to me and then you cant admit when even you assaulted me on multiple occasions Cheryl. I just wanted to die. I remember when the thoughts first came around and I knew I was normal. I six/seven year old shouldnt be having those ideals of using his father's hunting knives like that. Of course I know there's more wrong than bpd. There's something else and I know it was here long before it, even as a child I can see signs looking back. But you made it worse. You all did, never free from screams or hits or humilition. Forcing me to piss on the floor. Beating the shit out of me in public dirong martial arts as a cover up, laughing when I cry when ypu pushed me down the stairs over and over, and leaving me confused. I dont owe you anything, Cheryl. It's why I stay silent and pull back. I dont need to be here. I shouldn't be. I want to die but why subject them to another funeral. You wouldn't cry for real anyways. Ill just wait until I either go too far in my own curiosities or become another fuckong statistic.

1 note · View note

saportuh · 6 years ago

Text

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician.

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf”

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for.

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME”

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY,

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow.

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

#finally posting it lmao #81218 #long post -

9 notes · View notes

an-art-thing · 3 years ago

Text

Ive got a question for anyone whos willing to take time out of their day to answer it, but also kinda a story time? Cause it’ll better explain the question and I wanna talk ab it, cause its been breathing down my neck for the past like, 9 or 10 years I think.

So my family is pretty normal, pretty decent for the most part, or was pretty decent, idk. I used to never want to leave my Mom’s side, always wanted to stay here where I live still cause its where family is, and family is good. I used to make so many things, create systems that were faulty yes, but also extremely clever, cardboard houses that had working elevators, ac systems, opening roof and so on. I was clever and I knew it, I loved it, hell I was even on top of my entire class. Then around bout when I was 6 or 7, shit changed and I hated it. People stopped caring, I felt extremely abandoned, 2nd grade was when I found my songs (if you understand, im sorry), I was just a furious shadow of myself before hand. Even after everything returned to a normal, or a semi normal, it never stopped affecting me. I became practically co-dependent (im trying to work myself out of that as we speak, pretty hard sometimes though), things started happening that don’t have a proper explanation, just everything was fucked up for me. I tried to fix it and jump into some hobbies like reading or playing video games, crafting and costume making, and so on. But I dropped every single one over and over again. Even now I still do, because im used to people shutting me down. I show someone a drawing im super proud of, no matter how shitty it is because I actually achieved something, and all they say is “cool” or “nice” and don’t feed my excitement, just drown it in a tone that says “I don’t care ab that”. It was fine at first but started getting so much worse to the point I just gave up. I started shutting myself down because I knew what they would say, I knew and I hated that. My grades dropped from straight A’s to B’s and C’s and that was the end of the world to my parents apparently. I started cheating just to please them and started pushing myself to whatever max I had just to fake a smile. I haven’t felt motivated in forever and I just want to feel okay with myself again.

So, now that I’ve bored everyone with my stupid story, my question is: How can I stop shutting myself down?

I know that was stupid and all but it’s a serious question. I want to get back into writing, I want to get back into costume making, I want to get back into reading and making stuffed animals the way i used to. I just want to feel like me even for a fraction of a second.

Edit: i made that post a few years ago but never posted it cause i shut myself down haha- but for me the answer was simply to give myself an end goal, to have many projects started and have due dates for them, and even if i didnt finish them by the due date i had to just tell myself that i did a good job regardless cause i mean ive made it this far, and thats pretty good i thinks. its gonna be a journey for everyone and everyones journey is gonna be different, but becoming my own- praising myself when i knew no one else would- thats what works for me, keeping an end goal and allowing experimentation was what kept me goin- i have finished 4ish plushies since then, 4 hats, a shirt, and a jacket. not to mention the countless drawings ive made not only on my ipad but in my various sketchbooks. And yea that doesnt sound like a lot but for me it is and that’s perfectly fine. but thats what got me up and goin and surprise it wasn’t entirely just me- i had to push past my fears to share my works with my friends, they’ve been helpin me build up my confidence. so if you ever need someone to cheer you on dont be afraid to dm me or send me an ask with ur art and work in it. i dont mind cheerin anyone on- we all gotta start somewhere. <3 love yall ^^

0 notes

donvex · 7 years ago

Text

A PLAYLIST OF RICHIE TOZIER APPEARANCES

Fandom: IT (2017)

Pairing: Reddie ( Richie Tozier / Eddie Kaspbrak )

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:

Eddie is, by all means, a popular vlogger. He’s worked hard to get himself where he is, and the fans love him for that, appreciate him for that.

But they’re also somewhat obsessed with Richie Tozier, and trying to decide if Eddie is, in fact, dating him.

So sue them.

AO3 Link

For @odeto-tozier, based off of their Vlogger!Eddie post.

Tag List: @killerxqueer @richietozierlitaf @princely-dots

I. 101 WAYS TO DITCH YOUR FRIENDS - 932k VIEWS

One of the most popular videos on Eddie’s entire channel, at least for a while, this is where Eddie introduces them. The Losers Club. He’s mentioned them, sure. Talked about having them on for a video, showed off their makeup or their art and directed his fan base to their social medias, but this is where he finally introduces them.

Big Bill is first. Eddie’s best friend, the sweetest guy there is, always there for Eddie. One of the only people to not have made fun of him in middle school for having asthma, Bill knew stuff to do. Places to go. Things to see. And the thing is, Eddie may not have needed an inhaler anymore, but he still never breathed as well as he did when he was with Bill. They’d run all night and never need to catch their breath, that was the kind of bond they had.

And then there’s Mike, and okay, maybe Bill isn’t the sweetest guy in the world. He’s up there, sure, but he doesn’t compare to Mike Hanlon. From the moment Mike is on screen, he’s smiling. Then he realizes he’s being filmed, and he smiles even more. He wants to show the camera a thousand things, from the soft sheep on his farm, to the flowers he’s pressed in his free time, to the pages of history he has organized on his book shelves. Mike is smiles and safety, strong and soft all at once.

Ben is quiet most of the time he’s on camera. While Eddie promises Ben’s all laughs when they’re hanging out, he’s just too shy to do anything for what could possibly (and definitely would) be thousands of people. He’s better at writing words than saying them, and Eddie shamelessly uses that as an opportunity to plug Ben’s up and coming poetry book that he’s been setting up a kickstarter for.

Beverly, Stan, and Richie come as a tangled group. It’s a whirlwind, really, the four of them pushing through the walmart doors at almost 2am. There’s a lot of swift laughter and fumbling of the phone, unwillingly passing the camera from set of hands to set of hands. At some point Richie refuses to give the phone back, holding it high above his head, camera angled down towards a clearly angry Eddie.

There’s a lot of banter, and even Bev and Stan can be heard “oo-ing” in the background and yelling out to “just kiss already!” It’s clearly a joke (maybe?) between a close group of friends, but all of Eddie’s fans instantly latch onto this. It’s perfect, an equal amount of fond push and shove on each end, and it’s addictive.

The walmart group each get their own sections later, and some more group videos are thrown in towards the end, but all of the gif sets made seem to revolve around Richie. His sections is mostly Richie taking the phone and talking about himself, making bad jokes that Eddie swears he’s going to cut out, but it all stays in the video anyway, gasoline on the fire.

II. FUCK THE CHALLENGE SYSTEM - 458k VIEWS

Eddie hates challenges. All of his fans know this, just as they know that any challenge they want Eddie to do - they send to Richie.

Because Richie gets Eddie to do anything.

And that, right there, is what holds every single fan up. If they weren’t dating, why was Eddie putty in Richie’s hands? Best friends, sure, but none of Eddie’s other friends convinced him to do challenges.

(They don’t mention that maybe, just maybe, it’s because Richie is a little shit that loves pushing Eddie’s buttons, and all of his other friends respect him when he declines.

Yeah, they just don’t mention it.)

Except this time, there is no actual challenge. Eddie is going off about how wrong they make him feel, how perverse it is to not only force an uncomfortable situation onto him, but to then expect him to force another youtuber into doing the same. It’s unfair, and unclean, and while he respects any fellow vloggers who enjoy the challenges, he’s officially cancelling any challenge videos on his page ever again.

Richie, who just seems to always be around when challenges are mentioned (who seems to just always be around) immediately flies into the frame.

“You heard it! Eds spagehds is officially moving all challenge videos to my page, so if you want to catch them, you’re gonna have to follow this mother fucker right here.” Eddie’s protests and profanities go ignored, shouts of, “Rich, no! Fuck no!” and then the video cuts to an unfamiliar room, with Eddie moping dejectedly in his chair.

It’s thirty seconds exactly (00:30) of Eddie looking sadly into the camera, dead silence around him. In the empty space next to him, a chair that presumably expects to host one Richie Tozier, is a hyperlink to Richie’s channel, and their first Challenge Compilation video.

( Eddie Finally Does All the Challenges He’s Been Refusing, All At Once - 212k Views )

And now the subs know that Richie can make Eddie do anything, any fucking thing.

And they know what the inside of Richie’s room looks like, too.

III. WHY GAYS RELY ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION - 644k VIEWS

This video is literally the most fucking blurry, conspiracy theory, I-Have-Proof-Of-The-Lochness-Monster shit that Eddie’s fandom has ever seen. It is, by all accounts, a normal ass vlog. Eddie’s there at his counter, bright sunlight from the large windows in his kitchen filtering into the space, a cup of (presumably) black tea immediately to Eddie’s right. Not that he’ll ever drink it in the video, because he never does, but he does use it to keep his hands warm when they aren’t busy flying all over the place while he angrily vents about why public transportation is the worst, but actually driving makes him too fucking anxious to function.

Because, come on, fuck turnpikes.

The video is approximately two minutes and thirteen seconds (2:13) long, and yet this video has triple the amount of views as every past two minute long vlog for the past four months.

(Four months ago Eddie released a two minute vlog that was nothing but Eddie’s friends petting his hair, and Eddie making soft happy faces in return. The fandom continues to keep that video alive, if only by desperately comparing the length of Richie petting Eddie to the length of every other loser doing so in hopes that the numbers will add up and mean something. So far, it doesn’t.)

There’s really nothing about this vlog that stands out, not even the mug Eddie uses or the clothes he wears. The outfit is one that they’ve seen before, between fashion vlogs and #ootd instagram posts.

No, the reason this particular video skyrockets in popularity is not because of anything Eddie does, but because, around 1:43, from a very distant shot, you can see a figure lazily walking into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and some cereal, and leaving. That figure, almost 100% wearing nothing but boxers, looks a hell of a lot like one Richie Tozier.

You know, disregarding the distance. And the pixelation. And Eddie’s face cutting off the figure most of the time anyway, because it is his vlog.

But that almost-naked figure in the background is definitely an almost-naked Richie Tozier, the fandom swears it.

IV. PRETTY BOY TRANSFORMATION - 722k VIEWS

The entire fan base already knew Eddie was a pretty boy. That was half of the appeal of his channel in the first place, that you knew exactly what you were going to get. A safe place for any identity. Eddie had been sent plenty of soft shirts and flower crowns already, and half of what he opened on his unboxing streams was pastel. The fans didn’t need to make edits or gifs or icons - Eddie was perfectly happy to wear all of it on his own.

But Eddie with make up, that was an entirely new type of pretty boy.

The video starts with Bev and Eddie bickering, and quickly devolves into not-so-subtly shoving each other’s shoulders while trying to get in front of the camera. They’re both laughing, wide smiles and warm eyes, until finally Bev pushes Eddie’s head down and sticks her whole face into the camera to let all 1.2 million subscribers know that she is, in fact, going to do Eddie’s makeup - but only after letting Eddie pick his own outfit, first.

The dusty blue eyeshadow is a safe choice, and matches the large sweater Eddie’s wearing. Then Bev is drawing large wings onto Eddie’s tan skin with white liquid, and lining his bottom lid with decorative dots. Eddie tries to sass Bev the entire time she’s trying to put on white lipstick that she had found from god knows where, but Eddie refuses to stop talking until finally she admits defeat and let’s Eddie put on a soft matte pink instead. The last touch is silver glitter, thickly painted from the corner of Eddie’s eyes and down his cheeks.

The orange light of the sun skips across Eddie, shimmering like dust. Eddie makes a pouty kissy face, lips puckered and eyelashes fluttering, head just barely resting on his hand while his large sleeve slides down his thin wrist. And that’s when it happens.

The first actual conclusive clue.

(So the fans say. Because really, an audio clip that is exactly .02 seconds long is hardly more conclusive than any of their video evidence, but the file still spreads like wildfire.)

“Cute, cute, cute!”

The voice comes from off screen, and Eddie snaps his teeth in the direction of Richie’s voice before the video hard cuts to Eddie posing for the camera.

V. TRANSPORTATION STRIKES AGAIN - 834k VIEWS

It’s another shitty phone video, and this time the quality is even worse because of the trembling car. A quarter of the video is blurred, and again, this is another two minute vlog. Two minutes and thirty one seconds (2:31) to be exact. A quarter of that leaves, well, not much actual time to have actual footage.

Once again, Eddie’s transportation life is crumbling. The buses are all shut down, too many workers on strike, and there’s no other quick way to be mobile. He’s stuck in Richie’s run down truck, and maybe he’s a little fond of it, but he doesn’t have time for Richie to make seven ridiculous pit stops.

The fans are a little disappointed that they don’t get to see Richie and Eddie’s gas station excursions, but they notice when the video cuts from an empty truck to one filled with drinks and snacks, and that only means one thing - Eddie gave in and let Richie get whatever he wanted. Again.

One point for the shippers.

It’s a short glance into Eddie’s life, just something quick to keep his subs satisfied until he can finish editing his full length video, which he promises will be out by the end of the next day.

“Aw, Eds, it’s like you care.” Then Richie’s ruffling Eddie’s wind swept hair, and Eddie is trying to keep his stern expression on despite the laughter that starts bubbling up from his chest. He swats at Richie’s hand, yelling at him to watch where he’s fucking driving, but even behind the wheel Richie manages to be a menace.

Then they’re there, wherever there is, (and yet again the fans wish they knew, because Eddie casually keeps skipping over it, but they can at least realize there’s a line of privacy there somewhere that they shouldn’t overstep). Then Richie is taking the phone from Eddie, mock saluting it, and kissing Eddie’s head before pushing him out the door.

Yeah, the all of the fans double take, too. Rewind the video, and then rewind it again. Throw on captions for good measure. That’s definitely there, they aren’t searching pixels this time.

Richie just kissed Eddie on the forehead. If he isn’t whipped, which he should be, all of Eddie’s fans will be whipped for him.

+I. THE REAL MTV: CRIB TOUR!! - 1.1M VIEWS

Eddie’s not in his normal spot. The lighting is different, and the camera is close to his face - utilizing an above angle that Eddie doesn’t use often.

But Eddie’s smiling, his face expression tired and content. Most of his greeting comes out mumbled, and he tries his best to address his fans, but he can’t. He’s too comfortable, he tells them. He recently invested in a good pillow, and boy, has it made all the difference. He’s not a sell out, he just doesn’t see anything wrong with product placement. If a quality brand is willing to offer him merchandise for free, he’s gonna take it.

Except then he’s pushed, and the feed goes hazy for a moment, until the phone is back up in place - and zoomed out this time, too.

Eddie is on his couch, curled up in between Richie’s legs. “I’m not a pillow, Eds. I’m not sponsoring you.”

“Of course you are, shut the fuck up.”

Then Eddie’s rambling about how comfortable the cushions are, how warm the sunlight is, how he doesn’t think he’ll ever walk again if it means he has to get up. He goes on like this for a long while, and Richie just watches him, his own hair wild with sleep and a smile taking up over half his face. When Eddie realizes he’s talking to himself, he turns in Richie’s arms to look up at his face, and Richie jolts.

“Hey there, princess.”

“Are we going to show them our new apartment or not?”

“Mmmmm…. or not, if that means I get to stay here with you.” Eddie sighs in defeat, but he doesn’t look disappointed in the slightest as he leans back to lay his head against Richie’s chest. Richie dips down to kiss his forehead before taking the phone, leading his own rambling.

Twelve minutes in, (12:46 exactly), Eddie blinks awake. He looks up and wordlessly cuts Richie off, pressing their lips together gently. There’s a few seconds of silence where the two pull back to stare at each other with soft smiles curling their lips, sunlight filtering between them.

The fandom cries.

“Come on, loser, let’s show them our new home already.”

The fandom cries harder.

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it 2017 #my writing #youtuber au

229 notes · View notes

floralkittygambler · 4 years ago

Text

Return of The Thing

Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening - Where I’ve Been:

Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set. I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.

A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:

Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways.

In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit.

On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others. The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.

I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online.

And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!

Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.

Hip Happenin Now:

Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog:

Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot. But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others. For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now. Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care

#im fucking tired #ive hardly had any alcohol lately as well #ive snuck some though but not as much for unwind time sadly #also discovered sourz alcohol and it is wonderful #i made someone laugh until literal pissing themselves though so #im taking bloody pride in that comedy so

0 notes