#im still senior high
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Ain't no way life after college is gonna be like this.
imma be homeless rather than answer all of these questions in one go
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love that gorgug just sounds like. anxious this season bc that was literally me junior year. what do you mean i have to start thinking about my future?? i’m literally just chilling??
#idk why i wrote this like i was a junior so long ago#i’m only five months into my senior year#i started researching colleges in MAY of junior year i was so unprepared#i still am tbh. ignore that i’ve gotten into almost all of the ones i applied to im still unprepared#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#gorgug thistlespring
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SOME ART FOR FINALS BABEYY!!!! Basically I was commuting in a jeep to school and a truck almost hit the jeep and i thought wait this would be a fun isekai series!!!!
So yeah basically, jeep gets hit by truck, isekai transportation to a fantasy pre colonial philippines where they have to find their way back home >B]]]
#ive been so so so busy im still not done w all my projects AUGHH#BUT YA ATLEAST IM DONE WITH THIS!!!#the twins uniform is based off of my uniform before HAHA#but yeah as for the characters we got: senior high twins. Grandma. scary mom and silly son. Overworked office worker. jolibee worker. and#the driver!!!#fun fact that day is when the twins research defense is happening so theyre highkey stressed abt THAT and also being transported to another#world LMAO
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suddenly overcome by my desire to draw beloved oc name of rochelle rodriguez cabrera again
#theyll come back i just gotta follow my heart or my chronically depressed ass wont draw#and my heart wants vampires rn#isasay is a story i conceptualized in senior year of high school#and even when i started finally the art still wasnt up to snuff#im not crazy enough to refuse to update before redrawing everything BUT maybe for an official buyable edition#but i do love the story and characters and wanna tell it well to do them and my ideas i still think are good justice#anyway tldr when isasay comes back the art style will be very different#and better#i can communicate concepts better now
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selfies dedicated to the random little shit that just decided to go up to a complete random, bother them for their snap then go ‘oh. its a tranny!!’ after hearing me speak then look disgusted and his shitty little friends <3 sorry you couldn’t deal with my scemo femboy swag i hope you get better soon im not gonna stop existing <3
#OH if you recognise the Signifiant Scemo History Location of my city you get a medal and a senior discount#ngl it’s fucked with me a bit but im trying to confidentpost my way through it ;-;#mf looked like he was still in high school too so I fully expect he has the Andrew Tate brainrot like a lot of UK lads but still#i was just texting I wasn’t doing anything#at least he was still a kid tho adult men get violent when their friends laugh at them like that for that reason#just the moment they hear you speak and they put it together and they just#I wasn’t even wearing a skirt or shorts today not that that would have made it okay but idk I was just existing#urgh idk I’ll stop tag ranting#scenecore#scene#emocore#emo#scene revival#scene aesthetic#scemo
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What I love about comparing Idolish7 and Ensemble Stars is the fact that i7 has realistic storylines with intricately carved characters grounded in a mildly-supernatural (and, like, canonically, too) world with the worst timeline there ever was while enstars has somewhat unrealistic storylines with the most insane characters grounded in a Definitely Realistic No Supernatural Things Here (lying voice but nothing is ever confirmed) world where people are normal heights and age normally
#im sorry to ryu 190 cm but the tallest guys in enstars are rinne and kiryu at 181 cm#like part of the reason i love enstars so much is admittedly that they have normal heights when all the other shoujo manga...#...had middle school kids at like...180 cm with the expectation that theyd grow more and come on#ok to be fair asides from ryu everyone else does have more or less normalish heights....very tall for japan if i know right?#yup average height in japan is 170 cm for men and 158 cm for women#rip mitsuki tho#also im not saying enstars doesnt have good characters because they absolutely do#<-is still suffering from eccentrics brainrot#but they have....49 idols to i7s 16....not counting side characters#also no i will never get over i7 having tamaki and iori be stuck in senior year of high school for 3 years straight#also let nagi drink fdfsiejoiwere#idolish7#fandom spamdom#enstars#ensemble stars#note's notes
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i think having a crush on Gene at 9 years old fucked me up a lot
#pdh gene set my standard for love#5th grade me was convinced he'd transfer to my school and fall in love with me#im a senior and still waiting#where tf r u babes??#🤨#:3#aphmau#gene#phoenix drop high#pdh
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whoahghmm..... home and im so tuckered out
#today was a little stressful only because i still had to learn the university's layout because its really huge#and then i got on the bus really late because it didn't show up but at least i wasnt late (i was but my teacher didn't mind)#but the last subject was so stressful because i had to walk to the other side of the uni to get there and I didn't know that place well#i was 30 minutes late but teacher wasn't bothered and even if i missed a bit of the lesson- this was covered in my senior high so... im safe#travelling took awhile because nic and i took a detour to the mall and cool off there#then i got out of the bus sleepy and wobbling back and forth til home wuwuggwuu#lessons were ok tho :] ate lunch with my friend#i will nap now and play some gameplay or stageplay to fall asleep to#so glad i'm off tomorrow#im hungry but I can't muster the strength to get up and eat dude😩😩😩😩#irl banter
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apologies in advanced but im returning to my roots from 10 years ago and being obnoxious about team dark/sonic in general again
#Be Quiet Kimura#finally there's food to gnaw on and savor after a long starvation of bad writings and directions for rouge and shadow and its been rough#and its fuckin DELICIOUS AAAAAAAA#im being a nuisance in every friend discord server and i still must y e l l#we're fucking back baby yeaaaaaahhhhh#so weird that literally 10 years ago i was a senior in high school and sonic tumblr rp was my only lifeline#/escapeism from that hell. then the Big Depressos kicked in#now im 28 growing gray hairs every now and then and officially been diagnosed with lumbar arthritis
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my shirt that says "i don't have an eating disorder" has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt
#text#(this is a reference to another tweet i dont have a shirt that says that)#ed tw#weight loss tw#talk about weight in general tw#like yes i eat the same thing almost every single day & have to force myself through every bite#no i dont have an eating disorder#i just have autism and anxiety and its making my life a little bit unliveable at the moment ❤️#i know i also have arfid which yes is an eating disorder but not like. in the way people probably think of if they look at me during#a meal and judge the way im eating and decide they think i have an ed (which i know is anxiety and nobody does that but still)#but i probably wouldnt get diagnosed bc im at a ''healthy weight''#even tho i know that for My Body it's not healthy . i was eating relatively well for a brief period of my senior year of high school#& very briefly my freshman year of college#and i got to around [number] both times#and they were both short periods of time so i still dont know what like. a healthy weight would be For Me and for My body#but i know a doctor would tell me my weight rn is Normal and Good and that if i gain weight thats Bad and Wrong#even though i am definitely not eating enough and not getting enough Fuel For My Body To Work Right#its such bullshit. also i hope whoever invented the bmi kills themself#Well anyway. swagever ive been eating one singular slice of pizza for half an hour so i gotta get back to that
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hi everyone, this is my monthly check-in <3
#not feeling so great lately...there's a lesion on my other knee now#and it most likely is cancer.#they want me to wait another 10 days for an mri???? like ur crazy#if u think i can wait that long.#sighhhhhhhhh.#anyway.#some cool things have happened#like spending all day in nyc with my partner on friday <3333#and um. i did wnt to vent about smth so uh.#ED tw#lately#my energy has been too low for me to wanna cook. which in turn made my stomach shrink a LOT#since i've been surviving by grazing on snacks.#and i didnt even realize i lost weight until i went to the doctor.#i didnt realize though that it would be even MORE lost when i weighed myself without my winter clothes#and uhhhh. i currently weigh what i weighed in my senior year of high school#which is the FIRST time i've been under a certain number in over SIX YEARS.#and i havent struggled at all w body negativity or ED thoughts in over a couple years. but.#now that my ideal gender expression has shifted more to the feminine side. and now that ive lost weight.#my brain INSTANTLY latched onto that#and was like omg YES do more of that#and it feels nice. this time im FINALLY not struggling to suppress my appetite!!! my body is doing that for me!#and obviously im still eating enough to live on#but still a huge caloric deficit. and rn my wheelchair shit keeps breaking on me. my mobility company is INCOMPETENT.#and my insurance might tell me i have to wait FIVE MORE YEARS for another type of chair......I WILL DIE BY THEN.#ugh everything is so complicated now. and im ALWAYS exhausted bc the sun sets at 4:30. i've just stopped binging and i replaced it with+#a LOT. of retail therapy. i've easily spent probably 1500 of my credit limit in the last 2 months. but you know.#that and not eating are 2 of the ONLY things i can control rn. out of all the fucking bullshit these useless people and my body put me thru#anyway. i'm sure you can tell how i feel rn. i'm just going to try doing anything else today.#vent
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#im the third#there are books ive loved so much that have become movies that i never watched#but there are also books that i would give ANYTHING to see it become a movie#i am EXTREMELY excited for all the light we cannot see tho oh my god#ill need to reread it before it comes out i reas that my senior year of high school#if carry on ever became a movie i would be so indecisive on whether to watch it bc its like my favorite book ever#what if they didnt do it right#but on the other hand……. i have never stopped thinking about the concept of finn wolfhard playing baz#i would watch it so fucking fast if he played him#i still havent decided who would be a good simon#carry on#snowbaz#im tagging byler just cuz im curious leave me alone#byler#polls
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when the preview for episode… 15, i think? 14? i don’t remember. the one where it was revealed kristen was going to be expelled. when that preview dropped, i was like “how the fuck are they going to follow this up in the finale?”
well. um. i have a couple of guesses guys!
#the real question is how the fuck do they follow this up if we ever get senior year#and like i know brennan will come up with something even wilder and blow our minds#and. fucking. idk. take something from freshman year at this point#but rn im like ?????? HOW#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#very loosely but still#reese watches fantasy high
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I am only 18 vs that is still a minor is a weird feeling to have I remember it and it is just like hhhhh???
YEAH. like. idk i feel like a lot of online thinking about age hinges on 18 being "an upstanding adult who should know better" and 17 being "a child innocent in all things OR an annoying ass kid who should stfu" when like. thats so not how anything works....
#im a year younger than most of my friends cause of weird nyc school stuff#so im going into my 2nd year of college while still being 18#but like. most seniors in high school are also 18. and yet i still feel older than them cause ive been out of hs for longer#i dont know how any of thats relevant really. age is weird#asks
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shoutout to my high school psych teacher for mentioning that the romanian orphan crisis was very much caused by abortion and birth control bans. like i’m pretty sure she could’ve gotten fired for that, even though it’s true… discussing abortion or fascilitating conversation about abortion in any context as a teacher in public schools in america is a big no-no
#i almost throat punched a kid before remembering i was 18 my senior year for nearly pushing a different teacher to the brink#because she would and COULD not allow him to make a presentation about the evils of abortion because that would’ve gotten her fired#she was basically begging him to shut up just repeating ‘we can’t discuss that i will get fired’#and he was all like ‘so you SUPPORT MURDERING BABIES?!’#i did verbally snap at him instead so he’d at least bitch at me and not her#i didn’t even really like her she made me like her unofficial TA (in high school yes) and then failed me in nutrition & foods#technically bc i didn’t turn in 1 assignment that she arbitrarily made into a test grade???#but really im p sure it was bc she mistook my ARFID/EDNOS/whatever as anorexia nervosa 😞#she made us keep a food journal and the day after going over them and privately telling me i wasnt meeting my caloric needs#she made us watch this awful cautionary/educational movie from the 90s about a girl dying from anorexia. lmfao.#it wasn’t even that bad i was still eating like 1600 calories a day#i respect her intention to give me a wake up call but i didn’t need it
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i feel like epilogues are always tricky but at ease really hit all the buttons. the subtle hint to deans alcoholism, cas' suicide attempt. how a conversation can suddenly take a wrong turn, but you have people around you who love you and they will help you through it. how love can be so scary in the beginning but now its a comfortable touch you lean into. and while things could be so much better, you at least have the man you love beside you, holding your mother's wedding ring, while your family sleeps in the other room, all full and content with the life you all have created
#im so emotional about the ending. the wedding ring. dean and cas showing affection in front of jess mary and sam. the picture from brunssum.#cas' picture from his high school senior year. cas wanting to middle part dean's hair. the i dont dance to dancing with your niece on#christmas while your boyfriend watches. talking about getting married. im just sobbing at everything in this part#91w#91w spoilers#i still feel emotional tubulence lol because of finishing it and everything and im just glad i finished it a week before uni cause if i had#to start uni right after finishing. bro i would die skdjfksdjf#anyways <3 if people wanna discuss certain aspects of the fic or motifs or symbols or such i'd love too!! cause im a nerd. which is already#established lol. feel free to send an ask or dm or anything. or reblog. yeah. anything <3#cw suicide attempt#cw alcohol
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