#mf looked like he was still in high school too so I fully expect he has the Andrew Tate brainrot like a lot of UK lads but still

[xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx]

selfies dedicated to the random little shit that just decided to go up to a complete random, bother them for their snap then go ‘oh. its a tranny!!’ after hearing me speak then look disgusted and his shitty little friends <3 sorry you couldn’t deal with my scemo femboy swag i hope you get better soon im not gonna stop existing <3

[arikiu]

HE DID IT!!

PROFILES (2) the boyzzzzz 😈‼️

jake x reader smau !

☆ the boyzzzzz 😈‼️

warning: swearing!!

jake ー who is regularly our darling boy has turned bad in this story. i mean not BAD but yk like a hot trouble maker. damn, i imagine everyone having a crush on this jake. rugby mvp player, hot, bad boy who doesn't give 2 f**** about what happens to him. though he's smart, he's lazy and asks for answers. he's your classic playboy. f*cks around, make out w every girl, etc. basic !!!!! but everyone still loves him.

jay ー jay is jay. classic, responsible, rich, rugby player, and everything a girl would want. he's pretty smart, too. he's a fashion major but does rugby on the side. he seems cocky but he's actually super nice when you get to know him. he's very smiley and fun. the life of the party, next to jake ofc. he and jake go to parties every weekend, but jake is the only one who makes out with people. jay is more responsible than that. which is why i question why everyone wants jake and not jay in this storyline...

riki ー riki is the baby of the group and the youngest. he is obsessed with genshin and he is literally the funniest out of the group. he's a crackhead and brings all of the fun. though the two i've spoken about are all party party yeah (yes jungkoook!!!) riki has the fully fun personality that matches with everything. he's fun to hang out with and i hope all of u fall for him :) also riki is not a playboy!! he is softie who only cares about genshin and his strawberries!

soobin ー soobin is the eldest of the group and the father figure. he's a senior whilst the others are juniors or sophomores. (riki is little freshman). he studies in engineering and is very chaotic. yes, he's fun, but mans keeps breaking everything left and right. he's also the introvert of the group (w/ hoonie ofc) and is suuper quiet but once you open up his walls, mans will scream, yell, and drag you. (affectionately obv!!) out of everyone, he is not a playboy as you expect. the boys know him from high school and just never lost track of him. he's the one who mostly tries to stop the boys from playing w the girl's hearts so they won't get hurt.

kai ー big child.. though he's born the same year as the 02z he is the biggest baby. always yelling or complaining about something. he's the humongous child but he's absolutely hilarious to be around. he will always be there to make you laugh and he will always try to crack you up. on purpose or not. but even though he's a crackhead (frfr) and will always make you laugh, inside he's still a softie who will always look out for you. he's also part of the rugby team and though he's not the best, he still does hella good!!!

sunghoon ー our introverted ice prince. he's the calmest out of the group, and 02z. he's cold as ice. (wbk!!!) he gives great advice to everyone though he seems to be the one who knows the least about the situation. HE'S STILL A PLAYBOY!! omg this mf..... he has the looks to make anyone fall for him but he never stays long enough with anyone for them to see him as to how he is. he just f*cks around with them then breaks up.. ice cold hoon.

back to m.list!

☆ [synopsis] jake was known as the school troublemaker. everyone knew him and everyone wanted to be with him. he was the school’s rugby team MVP, popular, and everyone found him attractive. you barely knew the guy but randomly one day he dragged you right into his mess. so what were you going to do? being stuck in detention with a cute guy? fall for him? no! your eyes were on your best friend, heeseung. unless they were.

taglist!!

@jungwoniics @jongsaengseong @msxflower @alo-ehas @theskzvibe @enhacolor @i-syo @jalnandanz @sunco @nyfwyeonjun @flwryun @liliansun @acciomylove @odxrilove

[angelsxbelle]

what kind of boyfriend they are.

Part 2!!!

here are my headcanons~ pls love my boys i love them so much- anyways unlike the last post this one is set during their high school ages they currently are in the anime:)

pairings: kita x reader, shirabu x reader, hoshiumi x reader

warnings: none

here we go!

kita, SHINSUKE

don’t get me wrong, as illustrated by the miya twins he gives off big cold vibes, but kita shinsuke dates to marry 100%

his grandma has def asked him about planning your wedding before

anyways-

one day during school you were picking class representatives

and with you trying to diversify your qualifications preparing to apply for college, happily volunteered

and to your surprise (not really), kita also volunteered, being the amazing student and capable leader he is

being class representatives together gave you guys the perfect opportunity to get closer, as you worked together on many projects and assignments as part of your work

working together brought you close, and now you eat lunch together every day, you ask him for help on your homework and he always checks on you, eventually he confessed to you he wanted to be more than friends

now, kita as a boyfriend is predictable but also completely new to what you would expect, he keeps his interactions fresh while keeping stability

 he does all the classic dad boyfriend things like remind you to eat healthy, sleep enough, and keep up with your schoolwork

however,,,,

you bring out a different side to him, one no one else has seen before

you’re the first person besides family he’s ever been able to be vulnerable with, he was hesitant at first to talk about his own feelings but now he fully trusts you enough to show his soft side *sobs*

after school is done and homework is completed, he’ll take you stargazing

looking over the rice fields and houses on a high hill as the wind sweeps past you, rustling through your hair, the sky is completely clear

as you lay down, right next to each other on a blanket, he’ll tell you how much he loves you, how he wants to be by your side for the rest of your lives together, how you bring out a side in him no one else could

as a boyfriend, he’s dependable like no other

no matter what’s going on, he’ll be your rock, your fire to stay by in the cold, the safe place you can always come home to

song that sums up your relationship: bags, clairo

shirabu, KENJIRO

tsundere x 1000 ™

you guys got paired together for a group project in class one day, you could have sworn you saw him roll his eyes as he shuffled towards you

mumbles at first, but as soon as you start talking, his eyes lighten up just a hair, anyone could barely notice it

as time progresses, he still acts cold around you, but it’s only because he realized he’s fallen for you and is doing everything in his power to push his own feelings aside

he’s not stupid, he doesn’t want to get too attached because he knows if it ends badly it’ll hurt like hell

but little by little, you see him start to open up the tiniest bit

when you manage to stutter out the fact that you like him one day in the library, he’s speechless at first

and then a faint blush creeps up his cheeks, and you know he feels the same way too🥺

at first in your relationship, he’s a little apprehensive, as he’s still afraid of getting to deep in since he likes you so much and he doesn’t want to end up messing everything up

you have to reassure him sometimes how great he is, and how he’s the perfect one for you and there’s nothing he could do better on

 he’s a little shy, he’s not really into pda but when you’re alone he likes it when you’re clingy and stay close to him while you study together

okay but this mf LOVES study dates no one can convince me otherwise

he likes it when you just sit close next to each other, working away while he steals a glance at you every so often, your knees touching underneath the table

also really loves it when you play with his hands, running your fingertips along the tapes on his fingers and playing with them

after you’re done studying, you guys go lay down on his bed for a while, your head on his chest as you talk about whatever’s been on your mind lately, giving him a chance to open up to you

you make him feel heard, like there’s finally someone that has their full attention on him, and only him

he doesn't say it too often, but he really is in love with you

song that describes your relationship: she, harry styles

hoshiumi, KORAI

out of everyone on this list, he’s probably the most excited to be in a relationship

he welcomes his feeling with open arms, not really like nishinoya and tanaka, but he doesn’t try to suppress his feelings either

i’m looking at you shirabu

however, he’s still a little shy around his crush just so they don’t find out about how he feels before he’s ready to tell someone

that someone being hirugami, probably

will 100% go to his best friend for girl advice since he has no idea what he’s doing

 you guys met at one of his matches, your best friend dragged you along to go watch and you begrudgingly agreed since you hadn’t gone to one before

during the game, you make eye contact with a certain white- haired boy, as he looks up at you it feels like time just  s t o p s

he deadass doesn’t move for five seconds until someone yells at him to snap out of it

after, he’s looking around, trying to find you until he spots you and eagerly runs up to you, asking you for your number

you give it to him, and later he texts you asking if you want to hang out sometime and you say yes:)

for your first date, you go over to his house and eat dinner together, and then binge watch all of your favorite action/superhero movies

you guys have a great time, plus you end up falling asleep on his shoulder:) 

he probably combusts internally-

as a boyfriend, hoshiumi is amazing because he’s so fun to be around, you never get bored of him because he’s so interesting

while he’s a bit of a goofball, he’s definitely still serious when it comes to your feelings as well as your relationship, he would never want to jeopardize it

he’s also surprisingly good at giving advice, whenever anything goes wrong or you’re having an issue with your personal life he always knows what to do, he’ll hold your hand and tell you it’s going to be okay

 also, he LOVES it when you come to his games

it drives him nuts it’s not even funny, before the game starts and he’s warming he’ll wave at you with both arms like a maniac LMAO

he’ll look up to see where you are every time he hits the ball :’)

another thing with hoshiumi is that he knows how to stay grounded in a relationship, but also have as much fun as possible

he’s the perfect boyfriend

song that sums up your relationship: my blood, twenty one pilots

the end :)

[spacemiddenzz]

so i was watching @super-metroid's stream of Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass (highly recommend by the way) and she fought Imaginary Numbers this time. I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts on it, since it's my favorite boss and all. This is gonna be a longpost and it's gonna have spoilers so the whole thing can be found under the cut.

So, to put it simply, this dungeon is about stress and confusion. It's about Jimmy's mind frantically trying to comprehend the high-level math that Andrew is teaching him on top of his schoolwork. Jimmy thinks that his dad is the smartest man in the world- this is hyperbole for sure, but the fact that Andrew is quite intelligent remains clear. Jimmy looks up to Andrew because of his intelligence- and because of this it means a lot to Jimmy to be praised by Andrew. He wants his dad to view him as intelligent as well, because, if a man as smart as Andrew thinks Jimmy is smart, he can't be wrong! And hell, it feels nice to be validated by your parents.

Clearly, Andrew has already recognized Jimmy's talent with numbers and has started teaching him concepts beyond the second-grade curriculum, something that we see in the flashbacks in the Symmetrical Cavern. However if Imaginary Numbers' design is anything to go by, these concepts may be at or above the high school level. They're too much for Jimmy to understand. He's only eight, and his mind just isn't ready for that yet. Still, he feels the pressure to keep up with- and understand- the work that Andrew gives him. Why? Because he fears failure. He worries that if he admits to his father that the work is too hard, Andrew won't see him as a "smart boy" any longer- and that praise and validation means a lot to Jimmy. He doesn't want to lose it.

Let's start with the song that plays during this nightmare dungeon- Counting Backwards From Infinity. From the erratic bassline to the random samples of people shouting numbers in no particular order over and over again, this song simply screams disorder and panic. As a person who has always struggled with math, it's incredibly relatable. Counting Backwards From Infinity always reminded me of taking math tests in high school. I was so slow that I almost never could finish a test in a single class period. The frantic, wild bass and the cacophony of people screaming numbers out of order reminded me of trying desperately to remember how to solve a type of problem- and do it quickly enough so that I could hand the test in before the bell rang. I imagine that this is how Jimmy feels when Andrew places in front of him a concept that the boy does not fully understand. Perhaps he's had it explained to him several times but still can't fully grasp it (likely because, again, the kid is eight). The wild confusion and stress he feels when he doesnt fucking understand what's in front of him and doesnt want to look like an idiot in front of his dad. Even the name of the song is a reference to the fact that at this stage of his life this stuff may be an insurmountable task.

The dungeon itself is also set up in an incredibly confusing way. There's a bunch of bizarre-looking purple structures and winding paths. You teleport all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason. The enemies in this area, too, are deformed geometrical shapes that are almost Lovecraftian in the way that they cannot be understood. To Jimmy, Andrew's teachings might as be as comprehensible as a Lumpagon or a Squiggles, and that's definitely the idea that one gets here. The confusion, the pressure, the panic.

At one point in the dungeon you're teleported to a fakeout area that looks like the Path of Enlightenment. This is my favorite thing about the Asymmetrical Cavern, because of the fact that it has so many cool secrets, but also because it gave me a feeling that I could (once again) relate to. Jimmy's teleportation to the Path of Enlightenment isn't random. It represents familiarity in a sea of confusion. Jimmy sees something he recognizes during Andrew's lessons. Maybe he thinks that he's finally got the hang of it- that he's studied hard enough and now all of this jargon makes sense- only to be rudely awakened by the fact that he's been doing it wrong and never understood the concept in the first place. Even the secrets kind of hint at this. If you speak to pointman in this part of the dungeon he says "I am the blood of numbers leaking from your ears. The nails of ignorance are already being driven into your brain. What point is there in giving voice to madness?" (which is metal as fuck by the way)

Jimmy just thinks that his inability to understand makes him an idiot. His lack of understanding- the nails of ignorance- are being driven into his brain. If he can't understand all of Andrew's teachings, maybe he was never a smart boy after all.

And finally let's talk about Imaginary Numbers itself. First of all, it's an amalgamation of a bunch of different mathematical symbols, including a tombstone, a slashed epsilon, and a sigma. I'm sure there are more, but those are the only ones I recognized, honestly. Given that dreams don't really make things up, instead just taking things that you have seen/experienced before, it looks like Jimmy has encountered some... seriously advanced shit. Tombstones are used in geometric proofs. I only started doing proofs in high school geometry, meaning that Jimmy may very well be learning concepts meant for kids twice his age. No wonder the poor kid is stressed.

Oh yeah, also the boss sucks ass to fight. I've heard some people call that bad game design, but I'm not sure that's how I'd classify it. Sure, like I said, the boss sucks complete ass to fight and is almost entirely RNG-dependent. From a gameplay standpoint, this is wack as hell, yeah. Fucking 30% chance to deflect any magical or physical attack with a 30% chance to dodge a physical attack on top of that? Definitely bad game design. But from an artistic standpoint? Not at all. In fact, the futility of this fight adds to it. It really drills into your head that the only thing on your side here is pure fucking luck. And the odds aren't in your favor.

The feeling of futility- of the fact that this may in fact be, by all definitions, an insurmountable task for Jimmy, really struck home the situation. The battle would not be nearly as impactful without this. And personally, I'm all for it. Imagine walking into the Asymmetrical Cavern for the first time, not knowing what to expect. You get your ass handed to you on a silver platter by Imaginary Numbers after it chains Program Omega at you five times in a row.

That's the feeling Kasey wanted to give you. And it's critical. It's just... so perfect, I honestly don't know how to put it into words. It was supposed to represent the confusion and turmoil of a task nigh insurmountable. And it did the job pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.

I know Jimmy is good at numbers and this wasn't supposed to represent a real struggle with the subject of math/the concept of numbers in general, but hot damn if I didn't feel seen. Except Jimmy is eight but I was like 17 struggling in precalc with the same shit. I guess we know Jimmy's smarter than I am rip

TLDR; andrew please stop putting unnecessary stress on your kid youre freaking him out

anyway if you guys have any thoughts about this boss or this dungeon in general i would love to hear them. but where im at its like 2 AM so im probably gonna it the mf sack for now. later dudes

[cadaceus]

C2E141

One last time, y’all. This campaign and these characters have meant so much to me, and this seven hour finale was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. (Yes, I shed actual tears at one point, which rarely happens to me with media. But this is a special occasion.) These liveblogs are nearly as long as the episode itself, so grab a snack! With that being said, here are my very last liveblogs for Campaign 2 of Critical Role. As always, major spoilers below, so beware. 

- Veth taking a level in Wizard, god I am really gonna cry ten minutes into this thing...  😭

- We got our first “stay with us” to Essek, I am emo...

- I was fully not expecting to say goodbye to Frumpkin, but now I’m on the verge of tears... farewell dear fey friend (Marisha saying “that wasn’t supposed to be what broke me” me too me too)

- “You’re a good person.” “I could be.” “You are.”

- “I think you’re a good person” I never thought that I’d hear Beau say that about Essek and this genuinely might be what breaks me... she thinks he’s a good person.... redemption is possible.... maybe love is real....

- If I end up crying over wizards, look away

- Jester lifting up Fjord’s arm to snuggle beneath it made me say “awww” out loud  🥺

- VETH GOING FOR A DIP IN THE POND, I AM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF HER

- “Aahhh!! It’s me! Your wife!” I am going to miss Jester’s sending so much

- Okay that accent bit was so funny, I am going to miss all of them so much

- REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK

- Oh but he doesn’t remember them... and Yasha is trying so hard to help him remember, it’s so so sweet 

- Something about the way he said “Tealeaf’s nice” made me tear up... I was neutral on Mollymauk early campaign because I went into things knowing that he passed away, but this whole conversation with the Mighty Nein is So Much. Also “Kingsley Tealeaf” 

- “Everyone should have a brother” as someone with three of them, I vouch for this  🥺

- a) I love Marion Lavorre (and Jester ofc!) so very much and b) I can’t believe that Jester’s parent trap actually worked??

- “I do not think Exandria is ready for how you’re going to change it” got to me... and it’s also so true. jester has already changed the world just by being kind.

- Good bye Marion... I love and will miss you so much! (And many thanks to Laura and Matt for creating an agoraphic single mother who raised a wonderful child <3)

- Beau and Jester teasing Marion for having a complicated relationship with Babenon reminds me of Caleb saying he has a complicated relationship with Essek...

- LEAVE CALEB ALON E FUOIKJLKGKNL 

- THIS IS ....... SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

- Caleb’s biggest trauma(s) coming back to haunt him, I am genuinely going to cry I’m not ready for this I’m not okay

- Beau saying to Jester “Thanks, cutie” I love themmmmm

- INITIATIVE AAGJASKHDKJ AAAAAHHHH

- Essek’s Gravity Sinkhole did nothing? uhhhhh Mr Stark...

- EADWULF???? HELLO?????

- Essek using his entire turn to save Caleb last battle �� Caleb using his entire turn to save Essek this battle

- ASTRID???? I TRUSTED YOU??? WE ALL TRUSTED YOU????

- Another Counterspell chain sdfdghjkdl wizards !!!

- “It’s just business” is literally the Neutral Evil line, it always gives me chills when any character says it

- This hurts more after Liam confirming on Twitter that Astrid/Caleb/Eadwulf were all three a romantic item... please stop hurting Caleb, you loved him  😭

- THE FJORD VS EADWULF SWORD FIGHT IS SO CINEMATIC I LOVE IT HERE ACTUALLY

- Essek taking every opportunity to pull Caleb to safety makes me so emotional...  😭

- “You’re not the first student I’ve had to put down” I am burning with my anger for you, old man 

- THE DISPEL WORKED LET’S GO CALEB.....

- Remember when Matt said that Essek doesn’t openly show concern/emotion? And now he’s saying “I’m scared” in front of his closest friends and his worst enemies.... growth my love.....

- BEAU AND VETH LETS GO CHAOS CREW LETS MF GO BABEYYYY!!!

- FJORD COUNTERSPELLING THE DIMENSION DOOR..... and Matt having him describe it.... is this taking the place of a “HDYWTDT” *eyes emoji*

- CALEB GOING DOWN NO, THANK GOD FOR THAT DEATH WARD

- Veth’s illusion of Caleb’s parents flanking Caleb in the flames.... that got me too, Liam

- “Stay down.” yeah, okay, that was sexy

- ASTRID BEING THE ONE TO ACTIVATE THE COLLAR IS LITERALLY POETIC JUSTICE... Trent being beaten by the student who stuck with him longest I love this so much, she deserved that moment honestly

- Break Time, AKA Emma Makes Her Weekly Mug Brownie Interlude

- Sometimes I feel like “death is too good for you” is a copout, but in this case it fits so well, I want this mf’s reputation destroyed and the entire operation exposed and overthrown let’s goooo

- “I loved you both so much”.... Astrid and Eadwulf walking away.... oh, Blumendrei... I know this is not the end of your story. What’s past is prologue, loves

- The Empire Siblings are gonna burn down the whole system because it’s the system that enables individual corruption... I am so fulfilled by this, god i love them

- “I love you too” OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, FJORESTER ARE THE CUTEST FOR REAL

- Jester and Essek’s friendship still means so much to me btw just in case anyone wanted a check-in

- Veth giving the flask to Kingsley!! Good for her, good for her!

- OH Blumenduo are back already! I truly thought that was going to be their last appearance of the Campaign, why is this taking me more by surprise than Trent’s appearance

- “[Caleb] notes how similar Eadwulf and Fjord are” this is Widofjord adjacent... this episode we have gotten Widomauk-adjacent, Widojest-adjacent, and Widofjord-adjacent (and Blumentrio ofc), now come through Shadowgast and we can get a full Bingo on the “Bisexual Maelstrom” card

- Speaking of relationships, I am lowkey into the Fjord/Jester/Kingsley dynamic LOL no one look at me I’m in hiding

- I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO VETH AND CAD 😭 It makes sense and the fact that they have their families back is beautiful but also consider this: I’m sad and I will miss them 

- The goodbyes to Caduceus..... I am going to cry aren’t I?

- “If he’s anything like his mom, you won’t see him until it’s too late” Okay that made me giggle, I love Veth and I love Luc and I love their little family

- IS ESSEK LEAVING TOO? THAT’S GONNA BE WHAT BREAKS ME ISN’T IT

- If Essek leaves and we never see him again, getting a triple whammy of goodbyes I will be so incredibly sad, I cannot do this  😭

- If anyone is interested, no I am not doing well

- I was lowkey ready to get an Essek’s feelings for Caleb confirmation tonight, I guess it makes sense that we didn’t but I hope that this is not the last time we see Essek... I want to write another emo post about him and about how much he means to me but I will refrain

- CALEB BEING A TEACHER IS THE ENDGAME I WANT FOR HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

- Wow, I really was not ready to see Caduceus and Essek go for some reason... I really wanted this Campaign to end on the image of the Mighty Nein together as all nine of them... I’m feeling so numb right now having to say goodbye  😭

- Oh, we’re in the epilogue now!

- When Fjord said “[the sea] is my favorite place to be” I genuinely felt that on a spiritual level... the ocean is home, it truly is and always will be for me as well

- “I CAST MODIFY MEMORY” FJORD LMAOOOOOOO

- Okay, that Widobrave ending is what made me shed tears for the first time this episode... not to be Personal but my biological brother graduates High School tomorrow, and for some reason this conversation just reminded me so much of me and him and now I’m emotional

- NOT THE SYPHILIS BANDITS DSYUHDFJKLSFJ;DS OKAY I NEEDED THAT LAUGH

- “I’d like to hear about your friend” Kingsley aww

- Beau giving Kingsley her first diary to help him realize who they all are is actually so perfectly fitting, I love that!

- “The other eight and I, yes” Caleb counting all nine of them again  😭

- CALEB BEING OFFERED AN ASSEMBLY SEAT WTF AAAHHH

- Oh shit, Astrid took the Assembly seat... I’m not sure how I feel about this, I feel so bad for her for having to stay in the system that abused her for so long and I would have loved to see her burn the whole thing down, but I hope that she at least has a sense of contentment with this title

- “I go where you go, baby” Beauyasha.... my darling loves....

- Beau’s dad??? But also Beau being the one with power over her father is so Good, I’m glad that she got justice on that front as well!

- This talk with Artagan... “I didn’t want you to be a god. I wanted you to be my friend.” and in the process my love you created divinity... maybe divinity is the friends we made along the way

- OH SHIT WE ARE GETTING ALL THE VANDRAN LORE TONIGHT I’M READY LET’S GO LET’S GO

- VANDRAN AND AVANTIKA WERE AN ITEM???

- Wait crack theory: Sabian was a half elf right? Could he be the son of Vandren and Avantika? Or is that too much of a stretch? 

- Vandran going with them!!! Also I feel like that moment between Fjord and Vandran was lowkey a tease to a post-campain Uk’otoa one shot and I am ready for it already 

- THIS BEAUYASHA MOMENT... “i’ve never known anyone as deeply as i know you” & “explore every bit of you in multiple ways ;)” & “your past doesn’t scare me, it only makes you beautiful” .... this is so much they are so much i love them so much

- “I will have you and then some” Beauyasha   😭

- I’m torn between “oh my god there’s still half an hour left?” and “how is there only half an hour left??”

- “You will let this Skyspear live at least?” oh my god so Yasha killed the last Skyspear then? Oof...

- YASHA GIVING ZUALA(’S GRAVE) THE BOOK OF FLOWERS, OH DEAR HEART

- And Beau’s talk to Zuala about being the luckiest woman alive and sacrifice.... 😭  

- PLANTING FLOWERS AT ZUALA’S GRAVE... “NO BETTER GRAVE MARKER” THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL, I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A LOT THIS EPISODE BUT THIS TRULY IS SO BEAUTIFUL

- So... I may or may not be crying again

- Shadowgast with a steel chair??

- Caleb’s plan for saving his parents... it’s clear he has thought of this so much, oh my darling love  😭

- Caleb burning down his chance to change his past is so symbolic and something he really needed to do, it does make me emotional though

- The other book was him writing to his parents?? Oh bby boy  😭  

- While I would have loved for Caleb to open his own magic school (especially with Essek, or the Mighty Nein, or someone else as well), I am so pleased that he stays with Veth and that their friendship continues for the rest of their life because again: they mean so so much to me, and in a way they remind me of me and my biological brother (which I never realized before this episode) and yeah. They just make me Emo

- Also. Caleb being a professor was my Number One Endgame Hope for him and the fact that it came true is just so surreal in the best way possible. I’m so used to being robbed of happy endings. The fact that the Mighty Nein all got theirs makes me incredibly happy. A story does not have to be sad to be impactful. Happy stories and happy endings, especially during a time period of tumultuous real life circumstances, have just as much value and meaning and they always will. Caleb is teaching the next generation magic, and he is teaching them to be Good, and he is nurturing them, and that just means so much

- MATT CRYING IS GONNA GET TO ME

- “Let’s do it again” Please, let’s.

- Okay, everyone. I made it all seven hours in one piece with surprisingly minimal tears (though who knows, this might all sink in tomorrow.) I already wrote my thoughts earlier today about how much the Mighty Nein mean to me and how much this show and these characters have kept me holding on during quarantine and today... I’m still not ready to let them go, but I know that I can always revisit to say hello and to say thank you for changing me. Until then though... I love you all more than you could ever know. And for the last time of Campaign 2... is it Thursday yet?

Good night 💗

[kixa]

Future Kids…

@popbubblegumpop​ : Ok so you know how I’m a moron sexual so can I get Kaminari, Sero and Kirishima meeting their future children with a black reader and ik you like Sero so😏

W/ Kirishima, Sero, and Kaminari

Warnings: fluff, cursing

Word count: 3.2k

A/n: Thank you, Cass! I think these are the cutest I hope this is to your liking ;) and yes…you are a moron-sexual goof but it’s cool…

These are going to be in three parts because I type too much😞and this is so cheesy Sero is next

Kaminari

It finally hit 12 am, ‘damn 12 already’ you thought as you looked at your phone. You had been studying for hours, occasionally rereading a paragraph or two because you didn’t understand it for the 5th time. Closing the textbooks you got up and started settling down for bed. After slipping on your oversized tee your phone lit up with a message. It was from Kaminari, asking if you were still up. You replied with yes, wondering what he wanted (you low-key wanted to cuddle with him). He replied not even a second later saying he wanted you to come over to his room. A soft but tired smile graced your face as you looked down your screen. You knew that it was against the rules but it was past curfew and who was checking the halls? Aizawa? Nah babe mans is out for the night. 

Kaminari shifted in impatience, biting his lip slightly as he looked at his message just being left on ‘read’. He felt a little defeated now fully realizing the lack of warmth in his bed. Looking up at the complete darkness, he blew the strands of hair out of his face with a frustrated huff. So when he heard the soft patterned knocks that you guys shared as a ’secret password’ his face immediately lit up. He sprung off of his bed to reach the door in excitement (most definitely tripping and running into things). Your tired figure stood outside the door waiting for Kaminari to open it, listening in on the current commotion he was making trying to get to the door. Soon your attention was strayed from the excited boy on the other side of the door; there was soft shuffling from the end of the hall. You tried squinting to get a better look at the figure even pulling out your phone flashlight, but since it was too far the light didn’t really help. As soon as you started walking towards the ‘thing’ it scurried off with pattering feet and giggles.

“What the he-“, you said under your breath before a hand wrapped around your arm and yanked you into the room. Before you could fully comprehend what had happened you were face to face with Kaminari’s bright smile and golden locks (with the black streak ofc). He had his LED lights set to purple which contrasted his features nicely (mans was looking FOINE🤤). You were pulled tightly into a hug which nearly suffocated you, it was like your boyfriend hadn’t seen you all day. 

“Babeee…I missed you so much. Why did you leave me on read?”, he murmured into your hair, while loosening the hug to a gentler embrace but still secure.

“I wanted to “surprise” you, make you think I didn’t want to come over. But hey did you see that thing in-“, you replied with a light chuckle but once again interrupted. 

“Not funny…,” he pouted. He then started to sniff your hair, bringing your curls closer to his face. “Hey did you use that detangler that I got you?” he asked, sniffing your hair.

You giggled, “You’re such a weirdo, Denki, and yes I used it, I’m surprised you didn’t notice this morning. Now can we move this conversation to your bed, I’m tired.” You pulled off of him to trudge to his bed and flop down. Following closely after you the bright boy settled down on the bed too, wrapping you up in his arms. You snuggled deeper into his chest feeling the familiar warmth of his body; putting the weird sighting of that figure towards the back of your mind. Slowly closing your eyes you prepare yourself for a deep slumber, but apparently to Denki, it was time for 21 questions. 

“Y/n, what do you think about babies?” he questioned looking up at the ceiling. You shook your head at how weird that question was. Looking up at him with lazy eyes you scanned his face for any type of emotion but he was just blankly staring upwards. He was serious and expecting an answer.

“I-I guess I wouldn’t mind, I mean if they were with you of course. Definitely later down the road though,” you yawned. Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you began playing with his hair to lull yourself back to sleep. It was silent for about a minute but it was cut short by another slew of words coming from Denki’s mouth. 

“I mean of course not now I don’t think either of us are ready…..What do you think they’ll look like?” he turned to his side facing you. You opened your eyes after noticing his shift on the bed and then saw that he was gazing at your face. A heat erupted in your face, your hands quickly snapped to hide yourself. Kaminari let out a breathy chuckle grabbing your hands to pull them away from your face, giving you a goofy grin once you could see him. 

“Well they’ll be one good-looking kid ‘cause you’re smokin’ and so am I (cringe I’m so sorry),” he exclaimed proudly. As you rolled your eyes in amusement, you started to bring his face closer to yours.  

“ArE wE aBoUt To KiSs RiGhT nOw?,” Kaminari asked in a mocking voice, breaking the moment. You let go of his face and push him off the bed playfully. He looked up with an offended look at your actions but was soon changed into a smirk. Your laughter immediately died down and you caught on to what was about to happen. You backed into the corner of the bed as Kaminari crawled on the bed like a cheetah about to pounce. Right when he was about to “attack”, you both hear a light rapping at the door.  

Both of you immediately froze, you were clutching at the blanket while Kaminari was paused in mid crawl. Kaminari looked at you with his eyes furrowed in inquiry; you stared at him with the same look like ‘who the hell is knocking at the door past midnight, wtf’. 

“Denki….who is that?” you asked a little on edge. You checked your phone at the time and it was 1:30 am (had you looking at the door like 👁👄👁). 

“I don’t know…you bring somebody with you?” he asked. ‘This mf really thinks I brought somebody over like we were about to have a party on a school night…at 1 in the morning,’ you thought as you shook your head. 

You guys heard the little knock again, now panicking at who was behind the door at this hour. Everyone was either dead asleep or too fucking lazy to get up out of their bed to come see what y’all were doing. Both pairs of eyes darted back and forth between the door and each other. 

“Kami, go get the door,” you said in a whisper, almost trying to not be heard by whatever was behind the door. He jumped in shock, looking around the room as if trying to spot someone, then turned to face back to you and pointed to himself, mouthing ‘me?’.

“Yes you, now go,” you said as you tried to push him off the bed towards the door, but he stuck to you like a sloth on a tree claiming he was too scared to go open the door. When you offered that you both go and open the door together, he nodded furiously (such a big baby). The air felt a little too eerie and tight to breathe in. Y’all are definitely the type to believe in ghosts and supernatural junk so yeah, scared shitless. You crept closer to the door as Kaminari was literally hanging off of you occasionally stepping on your heels. Whatever was behind the door began huffing and pacing a little, then it spoke.

“Open the door pweese.”, said the voice sounding a little frustrated. The voice was small and childlike, maybe a kid? Both of you jolted back in surprise to hear such a small and high pitched voice, it had to be a kid. You quickly opened the door to see nothing, but as you lowered your eyes you saw a small brown-skinned girl, with golden amber eyes similar to the boy right behind you, along with curls pulled into two puffs on her head kind of how you used to wear your hair. ‘Huh? weird’ you thought. Kaminari peeked over your shoulder to also get a look at the small child, the same questioning look that you had, appeared on his face. 

Before either of you guys could begin talking the little girl ran into your legs, “Mamaaa!” Your eyes had never been wider. Who?…Me?…’Mama’?…Waaiiit a minute. She continued to snuggle her face in your legs while you snapped your eyes he’d to look at your boyfriend who was already looking at you in disbelief. 

“Dis yo kid? When’d you have a kid? You been messin’ somebody else y/n?” Kaminari interrogated whispering. You softly gasp at his thought of you cheating, “No! I don’t know who’s child this is but I ain’t had no kids Denki.” The little girl left your legs then looked at Kaminari and stared at him for a while then sprung into his legs, just like she did yours.

“Daddy!,” she cried in joy. Once again you and Kaminari were highly baffled at what was happening. You both went back and forth whispering questions in a frenzy. After a couple of minutes of mutual confusion and inquiry, you concluded that she might be lost.

You finally crouched down to the girl’s level to start talking to her. Leaning over close to her face you spoke gently, “Hi, I’m y/n, what’s your name?,” “…Nikko…mommy you don’t remember my name?,” she questioned, now her demeanor changing to sad and confused. You were once again speechless and frantic to help this little girl who had to be lost.

“Are you lost? How’d you get here?”

“Ummm…I was with you, Mommy and Daddy, and thennn this person used their quirk on us and I ended up here….I don’t know where I’m at but I thought I saw you earlier so I followed you here.” Nikko explained, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. You looked at Kaminari once again with a puzzled look. He kept staring at Nikko dumbfounded, with a goofy, in disbelief smile. 

She went up to you and held your face, “Mommy you look so different and so does Daddy, you guys look younger.”

Kaminari hummed in response and pulled you away from Nikko to talk to you, “Okay I think I know what happened. It’s going to sound very weird but hear me out. Okay, Nikko? That’s our actual child but like in the future and she got hit with a quirk that traveled her back in time,” You stared at him like he had said the wackest bs you’ve ever heard, but before you could open your mouth to counter him he already started on his reasoning.

“Y/n think about it…like really think about it. If I’m going to be dead serious she looks like a mini you…minus the eye color,” he explained. You turned to look at the girl who was now admiring the room a little. Paying close attention to her features you noticed a few things, her hair was very similar to yours when you were younger (in two little puffs) and the same eyes and goofy smile you had seen in Kaminari’s baby pictures. Maybe he was onto something.

“Okay okay I get what you’re saying and I kind of agree with you, but if what you’re saying is true what do we do now? How does she get back?” you asked. He shrugged with his derpy self saying that we could figure it out in the morning. You sighed as you both turned to face the little girl again. You guys welcomed her fully into the room and gave some background info about yourselves but to Nikko, she had already heard this stuff but she stayed quiet wanting to listen anyway. She told you guys stories as if you were her parents right then and there, not acknowledging that she hasn’t been born yet. She displayed qualities from both of you, physically and mentally. You guys just stared at her in amusement at how this could happen and how you both had a child together in the future. How ironic was Kaminari’s question now?

“And then Daddy went ‘It’s lights out for you sucker’ or was it ‘I’ll zap you to pieces’?… I don’t remember but it was soooo cool. Ooh ooh and when mama fights bad guys she looks so awesome, her costume so cool. Man, I wanna be like you guys when I grow up,” Nikko looked at you two starry-eyed, you could’ve sworn you saw a twinkle in her eye. 

“Y/n, we’re so cool in the future and we’re together too score!”

“Yeah, we are,” you two fist-bumped each other in triumph. Nikko giggled.

“You’re a dope kid, Nikko,” Kaminari said lazily.

~~~

As the hours crept closer and closer to when you guys had to be awake for school, Nikko had stopped talking and was now sitting in Kaminari’s lap taking his hand in hers and tracing over his palm with her tiny fingers. She yawned notifying that she was getting sleepy and was way past her bedtime. What do you know, the golden-haired boy was right along with her letting out a yawn also. Kaminari's eyes looked very heavy as they blinked at a snail’s pace. He looked down at the small bundle of cuteness curled up in his lap and softly beamed. Then he looked at you with the same expression, looking adorable despite the bags under his eyes. 

“She looks ssooo much lllike youu” he slurred signaling he also needed to sleep. 

“And she talks just like you sleepyhead, now go to sleep” You ruffled his hair and let out a silent chuckle. He sleepy moved his head against the wall and directed his eyes to the ceiling, letting out a hum in content as he fluttered his eyes closed. It was silent except for the soft snore of Nikko and the soon to be loud snore of Kaminari (he is an obnoxious sleeper don’t @ me). You let the heaviness of your head move you against the wall. Drifting into a deep slumber you let your thoughts carry you off into dreamland. ‘This is crazy, how did this even happen? Denki and I have a child?  A future with Denki, I hope we do stay together long enough for that, Denkiii~’ your thoughts that had brought you to a deep sleep. What a very awkward and peculiar night. Meeting your daughter from the future, no way too freaky.

~~~

You groaned as the alarm clock sounded letting you know it was time to wake up. You rubbed your eyes to relieve some of the sleepiness (ok rn you’re feeling that go-to-sleep-at-3-and-wake-up-at-5 type tired). Kaminari has an alarm set to wake you guys up (mainly just you) if you sleepover so you have enough time to get back to your room without getting caught. Groggy from the lack of sleep you try to make it over to the alarm to silence it but keep stumbling on your way. After it was turned off you felt something grab you thigh and pull you back. The yellow-eyed boy had grabbed a hold of you and guided you to his lap. 

“*yawn* Sunshineee do you have to gooo?” He grumbled softly with his morning voice, into your neck. The voice helping you doze off, but you jolted back up after remembering your answer in your head, “yes I have to go”. Ignoring you, he started to leave little pecks along your neck which soothed you back to sleep. He continued until he noticed a lack of noise, he paused and looked around the room in inquiry. His pausing woke you up, you craned your head to focus on him. 

“Where’s Nikko?” He asked, squinting to get adjusted to the incoming light. You scanned to the room for any signs of the little girl, but there was nothing. ‘Hold on where’d she go’ you thought. 

“She disappeared~” He gasped sarcastically covering his mouth before breaking into laughter. His laughing was cut short by a string of curses coming from the common area (Bakugou deadass is that loud though) followed by cooing,

someone trying to calm down the angry pomeranian, and the sound of a child yelling.

“Well, I guess we know where she went,” You rolled your eyes leaving Kaminari alone in his bedroom. He chased after you and saw this scene: you were laughing, the girls were smiling softly at Nikko, Kirishima was trying to calm down Bakugou, and Bakugou was cursing while running away from Nikko who was mad and yelling “Uncle Bakugou! Come back! You always play with me!”

“Hell no! I am not your uncle, Brat!” Nikko huffed and ran faster, trying to catch him. Kirishima was out of breath trying to catch the both of them.

“(Y/N), do you know who this kid is? She woke up Bakugou and then he woke up most of us,” He panted before finally catching his breath.

“Supposedly ours,” Kaminari yawned, taking a seat on the couch next to you. His eyes slowly followed Nikko before leaning over the couch and grabbing her right before she caught Bakugou.

“Daddy! I-“ “Is this your brat Dunce Face? She’s been chasing me for the last hour!” Bakugou then went on a rant about Nikko. Now she sat there just watching Bakugou before interrupting,

“You’re so mean! You’re not this mean to me and Katsumi! Sometimes you are to Uncle Kiri’s and Uncle Sero’s kids, but not to me and Katsumi! You always-“ She continues on about how Bakugou acts in the future…. well until she gets out of breath.

“Okay sweetie, I think we understand how Bakugou acts in the future.” Nikko nodded and sat down glaring at him. Soon after that everyone started to get ready for school (I mean it’s like 6 by this point but let’s be for real now - they gotta cook breakfast, eat, maybe take a shower, do face + hair, and get dressed so that’d work? right?). After you and Kaminari got dressed you were faced with the problem of what you were going to put Nikko in.

“Don’t worry! You guys said I would be home soon right?” You guys nodded and shrugged figuring that you’ll buy clothes if she ends up staying longer (and also because the girls wanted to shop for her).

On the way to school, Nikko sped between people talking to them and continued even into the classroom (you guys had to grab her before she even made her way to M*neta).

Nikko was sitting on Denki’s desk as everyone surrounded her, chatting her up, then Aizawa (Da Daё)  walked in and all heads turned to him.

“Why are you not in your seats?” Everyone rushes to their seats as you and Denki were starting to give an explanation.

“We’re sorry Mr. Aizawa, it’s just that our daughter from the future came and-“ “What daughter? I don’t see a child?” He looked at you like you grew two more heads.

“Huh? She’s-“ Denki pulled your sleeve and pointed to his desk, “She’s gone? Aw man, she was sooo cute!”

“.... Well if you’re done, I’d like to start today’s class.”

this is my first time writing a whole oneshot ik it’s long😗👉👈

[cherryrogers]

Falling For You.

— Chapter 11

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

(Modern High School AU)

Warnings: Swearing, some angst, finally some real Fluff between these two!!

Synopsis: Unlike most teenagers, you had your life completely mapped out. You’d graduate high school, go off to the university of your dreams, and live the life that your parents always wanted you to. That was always the plan.

Falling for Bucky Barnes, however, was never part of that plan.

Being ‘just friends’ isn’t enough. Becoming anything more is too much. But suppressed feelings can’t stay ignored forever, and you were about to learn that a lot sooner than you thought.

A/N: ok so i haven’t been writing as much recently so this has took me so frickin long to finish and i’m sorry!! i think this fic is gonna finish at around 15 chapters?? i’m not so sure yet but there’s still some story to happen after they finally mf kissed so we’ll be exploring that as we go! anyways, please enjoy :)

Series Masterlist

“Bucky?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?”

The boy was sat on the wooden chair next to you, chin resting in his palm against the table in your dining room. An array of papers spread in front of him, dozens of questions and chemical equations scattered across the sheets, yet his dazed blue eyes were looking at anything but them.

School soon came back around after Val’s party on New Year’s Eve, which was unfortunate for you and Bucky, who had been joint at the hip since that night. Yes, you’d agreed to take things slow, but you’d finally gotten to a point where you didn’t feel the need to pull away from each other, where you could spend all of the time that you wanted together because your feelings were now out in the open, and you didn’t want to end the blissful honeymoon phase any time soon.

The two of you had yet to tell your friends about everything that’d happened; you’d barely even picked up your phone since spending so much time with Bucky. It was comforting in a way, nobody but you and him knowing about it, not feeling any pressure to answer the million questions you knew that Wanda would have, and Bucky not having to deal with all the teasing he’d get from his group of friends. They’d probably figure it out in time, considering you weren’t exactly hiding it at school. Until then, however, you were going to savour the last bit of peace you and Bucky had before the questions rolled in.

The new year had began, the cool January weather making it difficult to leave your home in the morning to get to school, and the dreaded last few weeks before the application deadline for universities had came around too. That was a topic you kept pushing out of your head, though you knew you’d have to face it soon. At the moment, you were focusing on helping Bucky with chemistry, after the teacher had informed him of his low performance in the subject over the first half of the year. Though the boy frankly couldn’t care less, the teacher had told him that if he didn’t pass the next test in class, he’d have compulsory tutoring after school for three days a week, which he definitely did not want to endure. So, who better to ask for help in passing the class than you?

“It’s too hard.” Bucky groaned, slumping in his seat. “This is pointless; I’m never gonna understand this shit.”

You rolled your eyes at his pessimism, nudging him with your foot under the table. “You’re not even looking at the sheet, or listening to me, for that matter. C’mon, Buck, I’m trying here. Can you at least try the first question?”

The boy felt a little bad, you were trying, and he was letting himself daydream like an idiot.

It didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun with it, though.

“You know,” He started, the smirk pulling at his lips indicating for you to prepare for whatever sarcastic comment was about to leave his mouth. “I think I’d feel a lot more motivated if we made out a little first. Might get my brain workin’ some more.”

The boy had the nerve to lean in, expecting you to follow along with his attempt to try and distract you from tutoring him. Poor kid, he was going to have to try a bit harder than that.

You let his lips get within a couple of inches of yours before you placed your hand flat on his chest, his disappointed pout making your chuckle against his lips. “You’re not smooth, James. Sit your ass back down.”

Plonking back in his seat, Bucky let out a dramatic sigh. “Tease.” He mumbled under his breath, reluctantly picking back up his pen.

“Idiot.” You mimicked his tone.

Not that you’d admit it aloud, but making out with Bucky was something you were definitely missing out on while denying your feelings for him. You’d never kissed someone so passionately before, and it wasn’t long after your first kiss before the two of you had to fully restrain yourselves from taking the making out any further, not wanting to rush into things just yet.

He was a good kisser, you had to hand it to him. Obviously he’d had more experience than you in the past, which made you a little self conscious initially, but Bucky somehow managed to make you feel anything but insecure when he kissed you.

“How am I meant to know what the structure of a diamond is?” His voice brought you from your thoughts.

“You use the textbook that’s an inch away from your hand on the table, that’s how.”

“Sweets, can’t you just tell me the answer?”

“That literally defeats the whole point of me trying to tutor you.”

“Like I said! It’s all pointless.”

“Bucky Barnes, you’re the most frustrating person I’ve ever known.” You stated, narrowing your eyes as the boy laughed.

He took your hands in his, pulling you closer to him. “I think what you meant to say was ‘Bucky Barnes, you’re the hottest person I’ve ever known... and I really wanna make out with you right now’.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong.

You shook your head, biting back a smile. “You don’t give up easily, do you, Buck?”

“Never gave up on you, did I?”

God, he was so annoyingly perfect. With his stupid sarcastic comments and his stubbornness that drove you up the wall, with his fluffy hair and his ‘carved by Lord himself’ bone structure, with his soft lips that you really wanted to kiss. Fuck.

Maybe he gave up way too easily on the chemistry work, but that was beside the point. He never gave up on the things he cared about, and you were lucky enough to be one of them.

“Fucking hell,” You murmured, making Bucky smirk. “Just... just kiss me, Bucky.”

The boy didn’t have to think twice before putting his lips on yours, the euphoric sensation from being so close to him one that you’d never get tired of.

It was safe to say that those chemistry questions weren’t completed that day, but it didn’t matter in that moment. You were savouring every second that you spent with Bucky; you both owed the time to yourselves and each other after hiding your feelings for over a year.

Things with Bucky really seemed to be looking up, and you couldn’t imagine that anything could get in the way of the two of you, not after everything you’d been through to get to where you were now.

Unfortunately, things weren’t going to be such smooth-sailing for much longer.

* * *

The revving outside of your front door caused you to audibly groan. That damn fucking bike.

You didn’t even have to open the door to know that Bucky was sitting outside on his motorcycle, waiting for you to come outside and plant a kiss on his lips, not having a single care in the world.

Apparently, he didn’t seem to care that you hated the bike. Hated.

The last time you’d ridden on the back of his bike was when you visited him at the auto-shop after your mild dispute, and he drove you home where he ended up having dinner and watching Grease with you.

Oh, how times had changed.

Bucky would never put you in a dangerous situation, you knew that, but riding on the back of his bike was basically asking to leave God’s earth early in your eyes.

With a sigh, you tugged on a pair of ankle boots and hiked your bag on your shoulders, before making your way out of the front door.

Bucky had hopped off the bike as you walked towards him, the evident reluctance in your expression causing him to scoff. The idiot knew you hated the bike, but that didn’t stop him from trying to help you get over your irrational fear. Well, he thought it was irrational, you thought it was perfectly normal.

“You’re hurting her feelings, you know.” The boy stroked the seat of the bike, a mocking frown on his lips. “Lookin’ at her like that every time I pull up on her.”

So the bike was a her now. “If you’re so concerned about her feelings, then why don’t you date her instead?”

Bucky smirked, stepping towards you. “Do I sense some jealously, sweets?”

“No.” You answered firmly. “I’m sensing something, though. I think it’s... someone being an asshole.”

“Jesus Christ.” He let out a breathy laugh, slinging an arm over your shoulder and directing you over to the bike. He grabbed his helmet off the handles and passed it to you. “As long as you’re wearing this, you’ll be fine.”

You raised your brow, eyeing the bike for a second helmet, which didn’t seem to be around. “Okay, well where’s your helmet?”

Before he could even finish the sheepish shrug he was giving you, your hands began gripping your helmet in frustration. This guy still hadn’t bought another stupid helmet for when he made you ride his bike with him. “James Buchanan, if we crash and you die-”

“Sweets.” He warned, a stupid smile on his lips. What did he find funny about this? You’re were shitting yourself thinking about getting on his bike and he was smiling. Reassuringly, he pressed a kiss to your temple. “Stop freaking yourself out and get on the bike, please.”

“Promise you’ll get a helmet for next time?” You uttered, beginning to slide the helmet on your head. He was lucky that he was undeniably cute, otherwise he’d be having a lonesome ride to school that morning.

“Cross my heart.” Bucky grinned in satisfaction, fastening the strap under your chin and then holding your hand to help you swing your leg over the bike.

Once Bucky had sat in front of you and started up the engine again, you circled your arms tightly around his waist and pressed your cheek against the cool leather of his jacket.

Again, Bucky Barnes was the most frustrating person you’d ever known, but you wouldn’t have him any other way.

* * *

“Miss (Y/L/N), can I speak with you for a moment?”

A pit began to build in your stomach as you approached your teacher’s desk, eventually being the only student left in the room after everyone had left to head home.

Mr Pym looked up from his computer as you stood awkwardly a few feet away from him, knowing what he wanted to talk to you about.

College.

The word alone caused goosebumps to rise on your arms and your smile to drop. Not because you didn’t want to go to college, of course you did, that’s why you’d worked so hard in high school. However, which college you were going to was a whole other story.

Your application was ready to be sent off, but you hadn’t had the courage to actually send it anywhere before the new year.

“The deadline for submitting college applications is in three days, and it’s come to my attention that you haven’t submitted yours yet.” The chemistry teacher stated, a furrow in his brows. “You are planning on applying, aren’t you? You have a lot of potential, (Y/N), I wouldn’t want to see it go to waste.”

“Yes, of course I am.” You nodded nervously. “I’m just not sure where to apply, that’s all.”

You weren’t sure how your parents would react if you didn’t apply to Harvard, that was the issue.

Sure, you could submit an application to Harvard to make them happy, because you didn’t have to go if you didn’t want to. But if they found out you sent out applications to places other than their previous Harvard University? Well, that just wouldn’t go down smoothly.

Your father wasn’t even the issue here - he didn’t mind which college you went to. Your mother on the other hand... you’d already heard her opinion on the situation enough times.

Mr Pym continued speaking, suggesting a few places he thought would fit you for your subject choice, and while you appreciated his concern, your mind couldn’t help but drift off to your mother. You had to talk to her, at least once more about college. It had to be made firm to her that you weren’t applying to Harvard, and that you wouldn’t be working for their company after you graduated. She couldn’t have that control over you anymore, and you had to at least try and make her understand that. She was still your mom, you still cared about her, even if she didn’t exactly reciprocate the feeling.

You just wanted her to be proud of you, but at this rate, it didn’t seem like that was ever going to happen.

The teacher eventually let you go, and with a weak smile, you thanked him and proceeded to leave the room, and then proceeded to almost crap yourself as you walked directly into Bucky standing outside of the classroom.

A low chuckle left his lips as you placed a hand over your chest; he definitely enjoyed scaring the shit out of you like that.

“You’re an ass.” You murmured, but still leaned into him as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“I was just waitin’ for you.” He rolled his eyes, but the amused expression faded from his face as the smile you gave him didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Is everything okay? What’d Mr Pym want?”

“He was asking about my plans for college.” Your gaze dropped to the ground. “I haven’t submitted an application anywhere yet.”

“You’ve still got time though, right? Are you still thinking about going to Colombia?”

You had mentioned to Bucky about applying to Colombia. It was an Ivy League school in Manhattan, only a short distance away from your home in Brooklyn. Really, there was no reason for you not to apply to go there. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Bucky was hoping you’d apply to Colombia too, because if you moving to a new state for college could possible put a strain on your relationship, then that was the last thing he wanted.

“Yeah, it’s the only place I can really see myself at. I, uh... I think I need to call my mom today though. Tell her once and for all that I’m not going to Harvard.”

Unease flashed in the boy’s eyes. He’d only ever had one experience of your mother’s wrath, but it was something that even he was afraid to witness again. “D’you want me to be there with you? Just for moral support?”

You shook your head, heart warming at his concern as you eventually approached the school gates. “Thanks, but I’ll be fine, Buck. You should get home, and for the love of God, please do some studying.”

The grin creeping back onto Bucky’s lips eased your anxiety slightly. “I’m not going to college, I don’t need to worry about studying.”

“Bucky,” You sighed, shrugging his arm off your shoulder with an eye roll. “That’s a terrible mindset to have.”

Bucky had never planned on continuing his education, the thought of doing so alone made his brain ache. It wasn’t that he wasn’t smart, because you knew that he was, he frankly just didn’t care. Working full-time at the auto-shop, living in a small place in Brooklyn, and being around the people he loved was all that he wanted for the future.

And now that he had you, his future was looking pretty promising.

“Just let me know how it goes with your mom, alright? Then I might consider whipping up some flash cards.”

“But I literally bought you your own set of highlighters to try and motivate you! And coloured pens, and-”

“Alright, alright.” Bucky let out a laugh. He’d found it cute when he entered your dining room one day to see three new packets of pens sprawled out across the table, an excited smile on your lips as you watched him use them for the first time when making notes on organic chemistry. He had to admit, the colours did make studying more bearable. “I’ll make the prettiest flash cards you’ll have ever seen, I promise.”

“They won’t be as pretty as mine, but I’ll appreciate the effort.” You smirked as the boy scoffed before tucking a piece of hair behind your ear and kissing your forehead, a gesture you’d gotten so used to from him over the past couple of weeks that you weren’t sure how you went for over a year without it.

With a reluctant goodbye, you watched Bucky head towards the parking lot over to his bike, and you hesitantly picked your phone out of your pocket. There was no point in wasting time worrying about the inevitable; if you were going to call your mother, you had to do it as soon as possible.

Your thumb hovered over the ‘call’ button next to your mother’s contact, and with a deep exhale, you hit it and pressed the phone to your ear, beginning what might’ve been the worst walk home of your life.

“(Y/N)?” Your mom’s voice sounded through the speak monotonously.

“Mom.” You swallowed. “Look, I know we haven’t spoken since the last time we saw each other-”

“Since you accused me of not caring for my own daughter.” She interrupted bitterly. You had to admit, you were harsh during your argument back before Christmas, but could she really blame you for feeling that way? “I’m surprised you even called again, I thought you wanted nothing to do with us.”

“Well, I thought the same of you. Were you planning on calling me?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” The woman stated. However, she didn’t exactly sound like she wanted to make amends, so you weren’t quite sure what she actually wanted to talk about. “You wouldn’t talk about it then, but we are discussing it now whether you want to or not. College, (Y/N).”

“That’s... what I was calling to talk about.” Well, here goes nothing... “I want to go to Colombia, Mom, and I know you’re not going to like that but... you don’t have to. You don’t have to pay my tuition, I’ll get a loan and I can keep living at home and you don’t have to have anything to do with me if you don’t want to. I’m not calling to ask for your permission to not go to Harvard; I’m just asking for you to be happy for me, or to at least accept that this is my decision to make.”

There was a few moments of silence, before you heard a deep sigh through the speaker. “We’re selling the house, (Y/N).”

“...what?”

“The plan has always been for you to go to Harvard, and when you did, your father and I were going to sell the house in Brooklyn and move across the country to expand the company’s clientele.”

You stopped in your tracks, clutching your phone so tightly in frustration that your knuckles ached. “Y-you can’t just sell our home, Mom.”

“We already have a buyer, they’re ready to take the house as soon as possible. There’s no point in keeping it if it won’t be if use-”

“But it will be, I can still live there if I go to Colombia-”

“You’re not going to Colombia.”

Jesus fucking Christ. Every time you talked to your mother about college, you swore you lost a thousand brain cells. Well, if she was selling the house, then that was fine. You could live on campus, and then your parents wouldn’t have to worry about you at all, which is clearly what they wanted.

“If I want to apply there, then you can’t stop me.” You bit down on your cheek, awaiting her response.

“And then what are your plans? To graduate with a business degree? To work for the company?”

“That’s not what I want.”

“Then what do you want?”

You bit down even harder, your voice coming out in a timid manner. “...I don’t know.”

“Exactly.” You could tell by your mother’s voice that she was speaking through gritted teeth. “(Y/N), I know what’s best for you. I wouldn’t be so adamant on you going to Harvard and working for us if I didn’t think it was the best plan for you. You have a secure place working at one of the most lucrative companies in the country, do you know how many people would kill to be in your position?

Listen, if you choose to go to Colombia, then we’re... we are done with you, because we have not worked this hard to give you the promise of a successful life for you to selfishly cut us off and do your own thing. You’re right, this is your decision to make, and you’re choosing between making your parents proud of you, or being a disappointment.”

Before you could even begin to come up with a response, the line went dead.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt your eyes gloss over, blurring your vision of passing by cars and pedestrians walking towards and away from you.

You shoved your phone back into your pocket, wrapping your hands around the straps of your bag tightly as you continued your walk home, your pace considerably faster than before. Head lowered, eyes blinking away some of the tears and prompting the release of others down your cheeks, hands never moving from your bag straps to wipe them away as you continued pace quickly to the home you wouldn’t have for much longer.

Yes, your parents were selfish. From a young age, you’d known that your education and future contribution to their company was their priority over anything else concerning you. But you thought when it came down to it, when the time came that you had the power to choose the future that you wanted, that perhaps they’d support you, their daughter. Instead, they were selling your childhood home for money to put towards a new house in God knows where, forcing you to have to find a new place to live, ideally the student accomadation of the university you desperately didn’t want to go to.

It hurt - you couldn’t lie to yourself and say that it didn’t. You thought the constant suppression of your emotions had made you numb to the feeling, but hearing your own mother call you a disappointment for only wanting to choose a path that made you happy... it really fucking stung.

As soon as the front door clicked shut, you let out a heavy sob, throwing your school bag to the ground next to the bottom of the staircase.

You hated that it hurt so much. All your life, you just wanted your parents to be proud of you. To get good grades, go to the university of your dreams, and allow them to feel accomplished knowing that their daughter was successful in the life that she wanted.

Before Bucky, before Wanda, before high school completely, you only really had your parents. Making friends in middle school was hard when you were a certified nerd in the eyes of your peers. While those of your age put you down for being smart, your parents praised you for it, and that was more important to you than the occasional crap you got from your classmates.

If going to Harvard meant you could feel that again, the praise, if it meant your could see the pride in your mom and dad’s eyes at your graduation ceremony, if it meant that you had your family back, would it really be so terrible to go there?

But Brooklyn was your home. Bucky was your home. After everything you’d been through to finally be able to feel freely for each other, you couldn’t just jet off to Massachusetts and risk it all.

Another choked out sob slipped from your lips as you climbed the stars, and hot tears dampened the fresh sheets as you fell on top of your bed with a strained sigh.

Everything was supposed to be better after you opened up to Bucky, everything was supposed to start working.

It seemed that luck just wasn’t on your side when you needed it most.

* * *

Taglist:

@americas-ass-assins @stevieboyharrington @itz-kira @broco8 @bxrnsfeyson @lovvliies @peterparkerbabyyy

[gcldveins]

hello i’m back with another senior citizen and i am incredibly sorry .. i finished s3 of ozarks n couldn’t help myelf :/// but ANYWAYS this is gabriel taylor, laura’s shitty dad ! uwu

basics

✎⌠jason bateman. cis male. he/him⌡❝ — well, look who’s just arrived ! if it isn’t the one and only gabriel taylor. though, around here they’re known as the fortress. don’t tell ‘em i said this but the fifty-one year old lawyer kinda has a reputation of being cold and enigmatic. but y’know, they can be driven and astute too. typical capricorn. anyways, welcome home and stay safe gabe ! ❞

statistics

full name: gabriel jebediah taylor

nickname(s): gabe, sometimes

date of birth: january 7th, 1970

hometown: misty hollow, connecticut.

gender identity: cis gender

preferred pronouns: he/him

sexual orientation: heterosexual

hogwarts house: slytherin

aesthetic: crisp collars, silver tie pins, the smell of fresh laundry, hollow smiles, always a handshake, never a hug, leather briefcase always on hand, a glass of single malt scotch, perfect posture, the sound of waves softly lapping at the shore, thunderstorms with no rain. 

distinguishable characteristics: always Clean

their song from the sigh no more album bc i love this album and it makes me Sad™ : dust bowl dance 

background ( emotional, physical abuse tw )

born and raised in misty hollow, gabriel’s family has relatively deep roots within the town. the man comes from old money, with all the law firms he owns having been passed down from generation to generation. his father was a part of this business and his mother, on the other hand, is your typical southern belle, moved here from a small town in texas. she was a corporate lawyer ( it’s how she met gabriel’s father ) but since becoming a mother she really has had no interests in any other occupation other than trophy wife and socialite.

to say that gabriel’s parents were old school would be putting it lightly. basically, both of his parents were deeply religious republicans and were very aware of their image as a family. they were harsh parents, extremely controlling when it came to their children’s lives but at the same time were also really emotionally absent. to this day they still believe that it was all in the name of tough love but obviously it was just emotional abuse. 

his father was especially hard on gabriel, he was a strong believer in physical discipline and thought gabriel to be too “soft”. he was always berating him, punishing him for petty offences, and pretty much just fostering your typical environment of toxic masculinity. though he never laid a hand on gabriel’s sister as she was what he called, “a lady” and his “pride and joy.”

but gabriel was a good kid, he was obedient aside from stupid mistakes that kids are bound to make. he was your typical golden boy, a jack of all trades of sorts. not exceptionally good at one thing, but averagely good at a multitude of things. he was a quick learner and dedicated, anything he took a crack at, he eventually excelled in. but all those opportunities he was given as a child; being able to practice multiple instruments, getting extra coaching and tutoring in activities of his choice — definitely gave gabriel a leg up among his peers. 

throughout high school, he mostly kept to himself, choosing to focus on his education and after graduating, he went to harvard where he earned a dual degree in business and law and carried on through with law school. the plan was to move to boston where the business’ main office was and work for his father, making his way up until he was ready to inherit it all himself.

ok this is where things get shoddy cause everything from above is part of an old intro so if this doesn’t make sense dont look at me ndfjsndjk but i imagine this is where gabe met his future wife ? i don’t want to set anything in stone for when that role gets picked up but ! gabe’s always been .. well-meaning, for a lack of a better word. like in the beginning he initially wanted to go into criminal law and become a prosecutor before his dad pressured him into staying in corporate. these good intentions were really able to develop during his time away from home, i think. he was able to develop his own opinions and views, different from his parents.

but gabriel’s always lived to serve and aims to please, giving himself to others until there’s nothing left. and he still has this really messed up view of his relationship with his parents, especially his dad. it’s just something he’s never been able to shake. out loud, he would never utter a word against them and in his head, he’s justified his father’s actions, forcing himself to think of it in a way that made it okay because putting his actions under any other sort of light would have felt like he was betraying him.

and while he didn’t have the same dreams and ideologies as his father, gabriel felt as if there was really no choice other than to adapt. it’s what’s been expected of him since he was born. so, he poured himself into his work despite hating every minute of it, his pride preventing him to be the one to drive generations of hard work into the ground. and gabriel was good at it, like really good. and he let himself believe he loved what he did, associating the feelings of success with enjoyment.

and in regards to his own family, i think that things in the beginning were good and almost picturesque, y’know? like the vision of a white-picket-fence type of family. but as the years went on, the more time he spent working with his father and the family business, he subconsciously allowed his father’s habits and tendencies into his own head. He succumbed to his parents’ influences and allowed their ideas of success and vision for his and his family’s future to become his own.

and i think one day gabriel looked in the mirror and straight up did not like what he saw. he’s fully aware of the mistakes he’s made in the past and he feels the heft of those mistakes everyday, but what is he supposed to do now ? it’s too late, he’s too far in. and so gabe did what he does best, he compartmentalized and began distancing himself from the family. spending more time at the office than at home because the farther you are away from people, the less likely you are to hurt them right ? 

personality

i’m gonna keep this loose cause i’ve noticed i tend to diverge from them a bit when i actually start playing my muses !

but gabriel is the fakest mf you’ll ever meet. all smiles and formalities, he’s like a goddamn politician i hate it. but i think if he were ever to let this decades long charade fall, everything just falls apart for him, y’know? his emotional sitch is like a house of cards, everything being perfectly curated and placed

he’s incredibly loyal to his family, he’d do anything to protect his family. and like sure, he loves them more than anything, but i think this loyalty comes more so out of duty than love, y’know ?

smart as a whip, always calculating and very cunning. the dude’s a shark in the courtroom and has he done morally questionable things to win a case? probably

idk i think... gabriel as a whole is a moral grey area. i rlly do love him and this version of him is always fun to play but we ! shall see ! 

[mf-despair-queen]

Rewrite the Stars - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Dylan O’Brien/Reader

Word Count: 20,243

Summary: He loved her. She loved him. But could they go against the odds to be together? Maybe not. Dylan fights to love the girl of his dreams while she pushes hi away over and over because of his fans.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Unprotected Sex, Oral (both receiving), Feeling, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Cowgirl, Shower Sex, Side Sex, Kinda Angsty, The TDC Accident 

Song: Rewrite The Stars from The Greatest Showman

Notes: o3o

The twelve-year-old boy sat on the porch steps of their new house, taking a deep breath of the west coast air. The house was still stuffy, boxes lining the floors to the ceiling and making it hard to maneuver. The sun was barely beginning to set, making the sky a a swirl of pinks, oranges and blues with specks of white clouds here and there. The chocolate-haired male could hear his older sister and parents moving about inside, relishing in a short moment away to breathe the fresh air.

The move was stressful and he didn’t know what the future would hold for him. It was nice to get away from the confinement of the unpacked home for a few minutes.

“Hey,” the Jersey boy heard, the soft crunch of wet grass making his head turn. You were stood before him, rolling back and forth on the balls of your feet with your hands hidden behind your back. Your hair was braided to stay out of your face. The boy’s hazel eyes skimmed your form quickly, noting the denim shorts with stars on your legs and the worn Spiderman shirt you swam in without a care for your appearance. You looked comfortable and that made him smile slightly with a light blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Hi,” he said shyly. The east coast preteen was always awkward, especially with first encounters.

“Sorry. I live next door with my mom and sister. My mom asked me to bring these over,” you said, revealing the plate of chocolate chip cookies you had behind your back. “We made them earlier knowing you were moving in today!”

“Oh. That’s so sweet. You really didn’t have to. But, thank you,” he said, standing to take the plate. Your arms fell to your side, Dylan holding the sweet treats in one hand. He bit his lip softly before extending his free hand to you. “I’m Dylan, by the way. Dylan O’Brien.”

You smiled, taking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Dylan. I’m Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” he hummed happily, glancing to his bouncing feet. “I um… I love your shirt. Spiderman is the best, isn’t he?”

“He really is!” you mused, pulling at the shirt to show it off more. “I got it when the movie first came out last year.”

“That’s awesome,” Dylan smiled.

“Hey,” you started. Dylan’s eyes met yours, seeing the glimmer in your orbs. “Seriously, welcome to Hermosa Beach. I hope you like it here.”

“I think I will love it,” he said without realizing it. You smiled, the curl of your lips making his soft pink ones perk up.

“You know, with you being new and all, you need a friend. We can’t let you deal with things alone and since I am the first person to meet you,” you chimed. “You are my new best friend!”

Dylan chuckled at the declaration, nodding. “I would actually like that. I can’t say no to friendship.” You grinned, tilting your head to the side in delight.

“I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Dyl.”

♪You know I want you/ It's not a secret I try to hide/ I know you want me/ So don't keep saying our hands are tied/ You claim it's not in the cards/ Fate is pulling you miles away/ And out of reach from me/ But you're here in my heart/ So who can stop me if I decide/ That you're my destiny?♪

The door of the apartment opened, Dylan rolling his suitcase into the hallway. His pillow that was always carried with him when he traveled was promptly placed on top of the rectangular luggage, the ends of the blue sheet draping over his bag. His backpack was dropped with a clunk in the corner while he kicked lazily at the door. He placed his keys in the dish on the table to his right, kicking off his shoes. The door clicked shut behind him with more more nudge of a socked foot, the tired man trudging forward, suitcase left forgotten by the door. He stopped at the entrance to the kitchen, leaning on the door frame to watch your smaller form dancing to a One Direction song he adored. A pot boiled on the stove with a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese beside it. You wore one of his old Mets shirts and some short pajama bottoms, uncaring that you looked ridiculous at the moment.

The sight made Dylan’s heart lift, thudding unevenly.

You spun on your heel, jumping with a squeak when you saw the man in your kitchen. The brunette chuckled, moving to sit at the dining table. You feigned relief, placing a hand to your chest. “You scared the pants off of me, O’Brien!” You scolded, turning down the music.

“Sorry. Thought i’d just let myself in,” he laughed.

“Why did I decide to give you a key to my apartment again?” You pondered rhetorically, turning to the creamy pasta you were making.

“Because you love me,” he joked. “Why are you making mac and cheese at midnight?”

“I was hungry. So sue me, bitch,” you giggled. “You want some?”

“You know I do,” Dylan laughed.

You moved to grab the bowls, standing on your toes in an attempt to reach them. Dylan rolled his eyes when you failed, moving to stand behind you. He grabbed them with ease, placing them on the counter. A grunt of annoyance left your lips, turning to lean on the counter, Dylan still by your side.

“Don’t get me wrong, Dyl. I love seeing you, though not really at midnight. But, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I just got back filming-”

“I know,” you cut him off. “You told me you were coming home today, but I didn’t expect you to stop by till tomorrow. I just figured…”

“Figured what?” he asked.

You moved to finish the food, leaving Dylan to lean against the counter alone. “Well, I just figured the first person you would go see would be your girlfriend, Dyl. You and Britt haven’t been together for a while. I thought you’d see Britt once you got home, late or not, stead of sitting in my kitchen eating cheese.” You got no response. When you turned, he had a slight sour look on his face. “Oh no. You’re making a face.”

“I am not,” he protested.

“Dylan, I have known you for over ten years! I know when you are making a face!”

“I’m not making a face!”

“Yes, you are!” You growled, dropping the wooden spoon and going to pinch his cheeks. He grimaced in slight pain, trying to swat at your hands. “No! Spill already, you turd!”

“I’m not making a face!”

“Dylan!”

“Fine, fine!” he yelped. The man rubbed his cheeks when you released them, mumbling indecent things under his breath. His nose flared with his heavy breathing, a hand ruffling his locks slightly. “Britt and I broke up.”

“What?!” You screeched. Dylan winced at the noise, covering his ears. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting that. That was the last thing I expected to hear from your mouth. You guys were so cute and happy.”

“Yeah…” He murmured.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Dyl,” you frowned. “Three years isn’t easy to just push away.”

The man shrugged, licking his lips slowly. “It’s fine. It was a clean break luckily. When she came to visit while I was filming Deepwater in Louisiana, we had a long talk about it all and she mentioned how she has been developing feelings for this guy she’s going to be working with on this movie called A Dog’s Purpose. They’ve been spending a lot of time together and I’m happy for her. She agreed that the passion wasn’t there anymore. There hasn’t been any real passion for a while. I think we were together for the sake of being together. So, here we are now.”

Your face contorted into one of confusion. Your brow had knit and your forehead wrinkled together, eyes crossing to narrow in on him. His hazel eyes were focused on the ground, avoiding your gaze. But, he could feel it piercing the side of his head. It was obvious you weren’t fully understanding. “I don’t get it,” you voiced. “Why wasn’t the passion there anymore?”

Dylan pursed his lips. You sighed, turning to the food. Before the bowls could be filled, heat met your side. A large, muscled body stood beside you, the subtle scent of the Calvin Klein cologne infiltrating your senses. You glanced up at your best friend, noting the glint in his eyes of unexplainable emotion. Biting at your lip, you waited for him to speak.

“You already know why,” he whispered, your ears barely able to catch his quiet words. A shiver ran up your spine when his fingers skimmed across your arms, feeling the goosebumps that formed. “Don’t give me that confused look, Y/N.”

You didn’t have to respond. You knew what he was implying.

A long, long time ago, there was a possibility for you and Dylan to become an item. The Jersey boy you befriended at the tender age of twelve made it obvious that he had a crush on you. He told you flat out that he did. When you were perched on your bed one night, Dylan didn’t hesitate on spilling the crush he held for years in order to ask you to prom your senior year.

And naturally, you did accept his proposal, taking his hand and intertwining your fingers together. By the end of the prom night, you were spilling your own feelings for him, confessing to the crush you had since you started high school.

Unfortunately, you weren’t given much of an opportunity to pursue a relationship. Dylan was cast in the MTV series Teen Wolf that was filming in Atlanta. After a long, hard talk, you had agreed to letting things go, knowing that trying to maintain a relationship long distance would difficult. It wasn’t easy by any means, your heart crumbling from the tears your shed together. You knew it hurt him too because all he wanted was to be by your side.

When Dylan called and said he was dating Britt years ago, you supported him. You figured that he was finally moving on, getting past the high school feelings he once held for you. That was ok though. He was a big boy. He was an adult and could feel whatever he wanted for someone. He could date who he wished. But, your feelings never left. The entire time he was way filming, growing into an even more handsome young man than he was when he graduated high school, your crush on him remained. When he was off the market, you wished you could be with him. They grew like a fungus inside you, thin vines wrapping around your heart to hold it tight in his embrace. But, no matter what, you would be by his side, cheering him on. And maybe, just maybe, he would be yours one day. If not, you would move on.

You just wanted him in your life. He meant the world to you.

“Oh,” you mumbled, spooning the food into the bowls. Dylan silently took his from your hands, both of you moving to sit at the table with drinks in hand - Dr. Pepper for you and Root Beer for him. Sitting across from one another, the only thing that could be heard was the clink of the spoons hitting the bowls, cans of soda popping open to be sipped with occasional slurps. The tension was palpable, neither of you knowing what to say immediately.

The bowl across from you was pushed away, Dylan leaning on the table. He massaged his jaw before speaking up. “Can I take you out sometime?”

Your spoon fell with a clatter, your eyes wide at him. “W-what?”

“Sorry. That was rude of me,” he grumbled. He tousled his hair more until it was sticking upright. “I… God, this was easier in my head.”

“Just say it, Dyl,” you told him hesitantly. “You can say anything to me. You know that.”

“I know. I just…” he paused. “I’m nervous.”

“I can tell,” you joked, making him smile.

He took a deep breath, shoulders rising and falling. “I-I want to take you on a date. And I know it sounds crazy, Y/N. But that crush from years ago? It never left. And, now that I’m not with Britt, I’m ready to… to try and make things work between us. I’ve waited for so long to ask you out. To date you. To do anything with you that could let me be with you in ways I’ve only dreamt of. I know it’s been a long time and we didn’t get to really embrace those feelings before, but now we can if you still want to try. Teen Wolf is filming in LA now, so I will only be gone for filming. We don’t have the same problems as before. I’m here to stay and I want to take you out to show you that we can work.”

Pushing your own bowl away, you leaned forward on the table, biting at your nail. Your eyes didn’t leave the face of your crush, tracing patterns along his speckled cheeks as your thought to yourself. It wasn’t a question that Dylan was, in deed, popular. He was the complete package: smart, funny, attractive, and the most genuine personality there was. He was the most caring person you would ever meet. It was no wonder that his was a breakout star once he started acting, especially with the ladies. The second Stiles Stilinski appeared on the screen upside down from the rooftop, he had won the hearts of many.

Over the years, he had become, in simple terms, a chick magnet. Despite being openly taken and in a relationship, girls swooned over the large, brown doe eyes and charming lopsided smile. They were ready to drop their panties when he let out his normal little laughs that made your heart beat faster and the hand his large, veiny hand would run through the luscious locks on his head. Millions of people proclaimed their love for the man across from you, the same man you grew up with and admired for so long.

You saw the pleading gaze in his eyes, hope and worry painting together in the hazel irises. His body bounced, leading you to believe his knee was jumping up and down anxiously. Slender fingers played together, his lips pursed together tightly as he waited. The look of longing made your heart beat rapidly. His body had sunk into the chair, his biceps bulging from under his loose black shirt. Your bottom lip was tugged between your teeth, your eyes darting away to avoid his look.  

“I don’t know, Dyl,” you started hesitantly. “You’re just a wee bit famous, handsome. Your fans…”

“What about them?” he snapped sharply before relaxing. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you sighed. “Just, they like you so much, Dyl. They’re not always… supportive of your relationships. They love you so much, but they can be possessive. Britt got a lot of bad rap for being your girlfriend. How do you think they will respond with me? I’m just the girl you grew up with. I don’t want to be ostracized for liking you. I… I don’t want them to hate me because of this.”

“It doesn’t matter, Y/N,” he lowly stated. The squeak of the chair against the tile creaked through the cold apartment air, the light patter of footsteps inching towards you. You yelped in surprise when the chair you were in was forcibly turned, the actor crouching to the ground in front of you. His larger hands took yours, warmth radiated from his palms up your skin. Yet, you felt chills, dots poking from your arms. His thumbs smoothed over the tops of your hands, bringing them up to his lips so he could kiss your knuckles.

“Dyl…”

“I like you, Y/N. A lot. I always have and you know this. I want you. I need you. I’m not doing anything to hide my feelings from you or anyone. I’d be surprised if everyone didn’t know how much I liked you. If I know you the way I think I do, you want me too. Before I became an actor, you liked me back. And I’m willing to bet that if my feelings never went away, yours didn’t either.

“So, don’t give me this bullshit that the fans won’t accept you. If they are true fans of mine, they will accept my happiness. No one makes me happier than you do. You bring out the best in me. I can’t imagine someone more perfect than you to be by my side. I want to kiss you. I want to hug you in more than a friend way. I want to go out and hold your hand while we walk. I want to take you out on dates. I have told you for so long how I’ve felt and now, nothing is going to stop me from choosing the girl of my dreams. I was stupid to let you go once and I’m not letting it happen again.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m famous, cupcake.” You smiled at the nickname, making him smile slightly in return. “Fame doesn’t define me. It doesn’t define you. I am still the same Dyldo you have known for over ten years. No amount of fame can change that. My fans aren’t going to change my mind about you. No one can stop me if I decide I like you. And, they sure as hell can’t keep me from saying this. I like you, Y/N, a hell of a lot and I want to be your boyfriend. But, until you are ready, I will settle on dates. We will go at your pace.

“But, if you don’t like me anymore and I’m completely wrong, I respect that. I won’t push you. You can tell me that I need to shut up and get out if that’s what you want. But, I’m begging, cupcake. Please, please, let me take you on one date. I will grovel at your feet. I will draw you a hot bath for the next month. I will buy you your favorite smoothie from Jamba Juice. I will buy us a pizza and we can watch whatever movie you want. Just, please, let me take you out.”

A dead silence came from his passionate speech. His eyes bore into you, trying to read the expression on your face. His palms were sweating and his mouth felt dry. It felt impossible, a heavy pit sitting in his stomach. His breath hitched, however, when you leaned forward, resting your forehead to his. Your lips were near his, a space keeping them apart like an invisible wall. His breath his your face, warming it until your cheeks were read. Fingers laced together, the intimacy of the moment growing more vibrant. Your eyes closed, relishing in the bubble that eclipsed your bodies and souls.

“Alright,” you whispered.

“Alright?” He asked, not daring to look.

“Dylan, I like you. You’re not going crazy. My feelings for you never left. And yes, I’m scared. I’m afraid of what people will think. It’s easy to say it’s just me and you, but I don’t want people to hate me because of this.” Your eyes fluttered open, the tickle of your eyelashes on his skin making his open in return. “But, I want to try.”

“So, what does this mean?”

You laughed shaking your head. “Sometimes, I wonder what goes on in that head of yours.”

“That’s just mean,” he teased.

“It means yes. You can take me on a date.”

“Seriously?” He asked, backing away to see you nod fully. His lips curled into a deep grin, the man launching forward to lock you in a tight embrace, his head burrowed in your chest. Your face flared, but you didn’t push him away. “You won’t regret this! I promise. It will be the best date ever.”

“It better be,” you teased. Wiggling from his grip, you placed the bowls in the sink. “Now, I’m assuming you are staying the night since it’s late and you just got home from a flight.”

The man stood from the ground, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. The single action made his shirt ride up to show the dark happy trail of hair along his toned stomach and the v-lines that were prominently sunk into his hips and displayed from the low hung gray sweatpants. He attempted to muffle a yawn, failing miserably. A yeti-esque growl escaped his throat, mouth parted in a large O shape. His teeth twinkle brightly with a lazy smile.

“I guess I should stay,” he murmured, words beginning to slur. The exhaustion was hitting him like a hammer. His arms wrapped around your waist, burying into your neck. “Can we cuddle?”

You blushed, but nodded with a giggle. “Of course.” You always cuddled together, even when you weren’t together. It was just a perk of being long time friends with the O’Brien male. “Let’s go grab your pillow and get some well deserved sleep.”

“Alright,” he yawned again, reluctantly moving forward when you did. He was snoring before he hit the bed, face swallowed by the blue linen he carried with him on every trip. Luckily, he had managed to strip from his shirt before he collapsed, the cotton still hanging from his fingers on the hand that dangled over the side of the bed. You shook your head at him, tossing it aside. The lights clicked off quietly, your body curling into his back after the blankets were tugged up to your chin.

“Goodnight, Dyl.”

He was gone when you woke up, a note on the dining room table with a vase full of red roses. You sat down at the table, stroking the petals, feeling the silky texture they offered. The note made you smile, tucking your hair back.

Hey beautiful. Thank you for accepting. You have no idea how excited I am. I hope it’s not too soon, but I wanted to take you out tonight. Seven pm, sharp! I will be there to pick you up. Dress comfy, casual and cute, even though you are always adorable. I will see you see, cupcake. <3

The day flew by after that. At seven, you were slipping out the front door, locking it before hurrying to Dylan’s waiting car. He was playing your favorite song when you slid inside, buckling your seatbelt. His hand took yours, fingers linking together and resting on the center console. The man wouldn’t spill where you were going or what you were doing, making you wonder what he was planning.

Mid Los Angeles came into view, the lights glimmering around you. The streets were flooded with people taking pictures and pointing at the sites to be seen. You were nervous going into a large crowd like this. It was easier to be seen and potentially interrupted while you were out trying to enjoy a date. Dylan dismissed the suspicious glance sent his way, his eyes stuck on the road. His grin made you wonder more, trying to discern what he was planning.

The car came to a stop outside Grand Park, the engine humming to a quiet stop. You blinked at your surroundings, hearing Dylan’s door open and close. The man jogged around the car to your side, opening the door and holding a hand out for you. You laughed, taking his hand, allowing him to gently pull you out. The beep of the alarm floated around you, Dylan’s hand on the small of your back as you walked into the nearly empty park. Your bodies remained close together, the actor leading you to some unknown destination.

“What we we doing at a park?” you asked, Dylan smiling wider. “Come on, Dyl! Spill!”

“You know, a long time ago, you told me that you thought picnics in the park were super romantic. So, I worked my ass off all day to put together the perfect picnic for you. Posey was kind enough to set it up while I went to get you.”

Your mouth parted to answer, no words coming out. You stopped walking, seeing the cliche checkered blanket with a picnic basket on top of it. A small stool was set up next to it, a few candles lit and flickering in the slight breeze. A speaker was set in the grass, Dylan tinkering with his phone to play a sweet ballad to add to the atmosphere. He spun to face you, allowing you to take in his full appearance. Dark jeans and a blue button up that was tucked neatly into his pants. He didn’t detour from his natural Adidas and his hair was partially spiked up in a cute quiff.

“Milady,” he called to break you from your trance, holding out a hand to you. A giggle left your lips, taking his hand. You planted yourselves on the blanket, Dylan pulling out some simple sandwiches and bags of chips.

The meal was simple, but fun. You shared the chips, feeding them to each other. Dylan was sprawled on his side, resting on his elbow, while you leaned back against him. His free hand roamed your back, soothing you. At one point, your hand found his, hands entwined together. You shared multiple longing looks, sinking into his touch when he would push back your hair. Hearts hammered against your chests, smiles showing off the joy you felt. You were content, not once regretting the decision to accept his proposal.

If anything, you were falling more for the man because he never failed to make you happy. He put you first and did everything in his power to make you smile. You didn’t deserve his kind heart, but you weren’t going to let him go because he made you feel complete.

And Dylan? Well, he was thunderstruck by your beauty and laugh, the happy flutter of butterflies making his blood pump yet make his heart stop. He was sure of his feelings.

When a new slow song started, he pulled you up, ignoring your laughs when he made you dance. His hands rested on your waist, your arms slung around his neck as you swayed. The skirt of your summer dress flowed with every step you took, each beat of the song spiking your infatuation with the man. He stared down at you lovingly, eyes large and speckled cheeks hurting from the countless smiles. His touch burned - in a good way - that left you smoldering, wanting more. In the end, your head was resting on his chest, his chin resting on the top of your head.

The candles were blown out and things were thrown into the empty picnic basket. With a hand on your back once more, you walked around the park for a bit, enjoying the sights from the summer festival that was being held during the day. Your head leaned on his shoulder the entire time, Dylan giving gentle squeezes to your side. The hustle and bustle of the city seemed quiet because it was all about you and Dylan.

The date didn’t end there. Dylan took the time to drive you out to Hermosa Beach, the home you grew up in. The beach was lifeless. The waves lapped at the sand, glowing from the full moon in the sky. The stars twinkled in the dark sky, smiling down at you. Kicking off your shoes, you made your way down to the shoreline, letting the foam wash around your ankles. The sand crabs tickled at your feet, trying to escape to find a new home that wasn’t under the weight of your body

His arms wrapped around your waist, not caring that his jeans were getting wet when the ocean attacked. You relaxed in his grip, resting your hands over his on your stomach. His chin sat on your shoulder, wafting the smell of the salt water and your strawberry shampoo. Neither of you had to speak. You just enjoyed the moment before continuing on.

You walked up and down the beach, the backs of your hands brushing occasionally. It took a bit before he dared to flex his fingers out, brushing them more. He glanced over at you and you looked back at him, trying to let him take the leap without needing to ask permission. Softly, his hand slid into yours, fingers tangling together one by one. Your arms rubbed against one another, keeping close as you waded through the shallow waters together, holding hands for the rest of the night.

You were on cloud nine now, wishing for a second this moment would never end.

The clock ticked on, nearly one in the morning before you were being walked to your door. Dylan, being the gentleman he was, insisted he make sure you got in safely. When the door came into sight, you turned to him, twirling some hair around your fingers.

“This really was the best date, Dyl,” you told him, giving a bright smile.

“Yeah,” he agreed, taking your hand in his. “I can’t recall a better date honestly.”

“Same.”

He rubbed his lips together, wetting them with his tongue. “Maybe we can do this again. I mean, if you’d like that.”

“I would love a second date with you, Dylan,” you whispered.

He smiled before taking a dive, leaning in to plant his lips to yours. You swore the fireworks were erupting loudly around you, bound to wake the neighbors from the nonexistent explosions. The touch was tender, his pink lips perfectly soft against yours. His lips enveloped yours, his head tilting to the side to give him better room to kiss at you. Short lived, he pulled away with a subtle smack, tucking your hair back like he always did. Your eyes stayed shut, lips still puckered from the surprise connection.

“Goodnight,” he mutters just loud enough for you to hear.

His touch vanished, the man gone from the hall before your eyes could open. It was almost as if everything was an illusion, Dylan being nothing more than a figment of your imagination. But the tingle on your lis ensured you of the truth. With an everlasting grin on your face, you slipped into your apartment, pressing your back to the door. Your face hid in your hands, happy squeals filling the hallway.

There was a bounce in your step while getting ready for bed, curling into your blankets happily. Your face brightened at the text from Dylan on your screen, his ugly mug in his contact picture winking at you.

[Dyldo: Sleep tight, beautiful. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.]

You sent him a quick goodnight before turning to your social media.

That’s when your mood dimmed.

Pictures of your date were out on twitter, news articles already popping up questioning what was going on. Dylan hadn’t formally announced his break up, but that wasn’t the only issue going on. The pictures showed your dance in the park, the picnic your shared, Dylan’s hand on your back and your hands linked while walking down the beach. In some pictures, you could make out the loving expressions you held for one another. All of the news articles questioned who you were and what you were doing with him.

The comments made bile rise in your throat. You were ready to puke while reading them. Most were negative. People were insistent on claiming them as his own while others were pushing for answers, typing in all caps to express their disconcert. You couldn’t count how many people said you didn’t look good together, saying how Dylan could do better. There were the normal ‘I love you’s’ that floated around, but your heart sunk into a vat of acid when you saw the comments about you.

You could feel his millions of fans scorning you, judging you based on looks or biased assumptions. Comment after comment, they called you names and picked on every aspect of you. They said how you should leave Dylan alone.

Tears slid down your cheeks as your fell asleep, phone laid on the bed by your side. The one comment that broke your heart the most shone onto the roof, the letters bolded and imprinted into your mind.

SLUT

♪What if we rewrite the stars?/ Say you were made to be mine/ Nothing could keep us apart/ You'd be the one I was meant to find/ It's up to you, and it's up to me/ No one can say what we get to be/ So why don't we rewrite the stars?/ Maybe the world could be ours/ Tonight♪

~

♪You think it's easy/ You think I don't want to run to you/ But there are mountains/ And there are doors that we can't walk through/ I know you're wondering why/ Because we're able to be/ Just you and me/ Within these walls/ But when we go outside/ You're going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all♪

You did everything you could to ignore the things people said. The thing that mattered was you and your feelings for Dylan.

Months passed and all you did was spend time with Dylan while he was out of work. And times were beyond exceptional. They were one of a kind and you didn’t want to trade them for anything. Whenever you were together, you mood lifted, finding new adventures to go on with the man. And every day that passed, you feel more and more in love with him. Things were slow to develop, but not slow enough to make you lose interest.

He hadn’t officially asked you out, but it felt like you were a couple. He would text you good morning and good night, buy you little gifts when you least expected it, and make you meals. Well, you often made the meals together. The kissing increased since he kissed you goodnight, the feeling of his lips on yours like an addicting drug. You couldn’t get enough of them, finding yourself locked in a heated make out session on the couch or in his bed.

The bedroom was even more heated than the kisses you shared. Despite the lack of a formal title overhanging your relationship, it didn’t stop you from exploring the deeper side of things. And boy, did he make you feel good. Occasionally, when you would relax in bed together under the covers, his hand would sneak into your shorts, toying with your wet core as he kissed you passionately. Other times, your hand would slither into his sweatpants, stroking his hardened length. Hands would swap for mouths once in a while, pleasing the opposite party with the flick of a tongue, but things never went beyond that.

Dylan knew about the hate you were facing from his fans, but he chose to ignore it. He constantly told you to ignore it as well since. ‘It’s not their choice, it’s ours,’ and ‘It’s our relationship. I choose to be with you’ is what he told you day after day. He offered to make a post about it on his Twitter, but you declined, not wanting to make things worse. If people read that, they would only come after you harder, claiming you made him post that.

He held true to his word that he would wait until you were ready to take things further, but he was blatantly obvious that he liked you way beyond a natural level. He wanted to make things work desperately, and you were willing to try equally as hard. Fighting to overlook the comments people made, you focused on him.

You liked him a hell of a lot.

You shut Dylan’s door behind you, hanging up your jacket and kicking off your boots. Skipping towards the kitchen, you found Dylan prepping the chicken parm you were going to make together. Because of the constant attention that surfaced when you were found out together, on a date or otherwise, you agreed to have dates in together, spending time cooking and watching movies. Dylan only wanted your comfort, so he tried to do anything to make sure you were happy.

“Hey, baby,” he hummed, hugging you into his side when you skid to a stop. You shared a brief kiss, the connection lasting longer than you thought would happen. “Ready for a delicious dinner?”

“Of course,” you grinned. “I love your mom’s chicken parm.”

“Her recipe is the best.”

“And she taught you well,” you hummed, pecking his lips a couple times. He whined when you backed away.

“You’re mean,” he cried, watching you hover at the sink to wash your hands. He grabbed his classic ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron you got him as a joke when you started cooking together after leaving high school, tossing it over his head. “You can’t just kiss me like that.”

“Why not?” you teased, tying the apron for him. Once perfectly knotted with a bow, he turned in your grasp, tugging you closer by the waist.

“Because it only makes me want to kiss you more,” he whispered. His eyes ran up and down your body, biting at his lip. “You’re beautiful. I hope you know that. You drive me insane.”

“And you’re handsome,” you told him, cupping his face.

You brought his face to yours, kissing him again. This time, it was longer and sweeter, your body melting into his chest. His arms hugged you close, moving his lips against yours skillfully. They dragged downwards, sending shivers up your spine. The bliss of his lips on yours made your fingers curl against his stubbled chin, letting the prickles tickle the tips.Your noses bumped slightly, the passion hovering around you.

He backed away, letting out a shallow breath. “You know, we can just skip making dinner and continue this,” he pushed playfully.

You laughed, shaking your head. “No. I have been looking forward to this all day so I haven’t exactly eaten. Unless you want me to drop kick you, I suggest we cook.”

“You seriously fasted just for my mom’s chicken parm recipe?” he teased.

“Duh.”

“God, you’re so cute,” he laughed, pecking your lips.

The kitchen turned into a natural disaster, a tornado of flour, mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce passing through. You got a face full of flour thanks to Dylan while breading the chicken cutlets, your skin a powder white from the cloudy burst. Your response was to toss a handful of cheese at him, the man trying to catch as much as possible in his mouth when you did. From your distraction, you didn’t realize the sauce was boiling, a pop of red sauce hitting his walls. In the end, you fell over laughing, cleaning while the food finished.

After the meal was finished and the dishes were cleaned, you had cuddled on the couch to watch Liar Liar, one of Dylan’s favorite movies. You snuggled into his chest, his arms wrapped around you with a blanket covering your tangled legs. Though, the film was quickly forgotten. Before Fetcher could skip out on his son’s birthday party, you turned to glance at the man playing with your hair, pressing your lips to his after a second.

That was how you found yourself in a heated make out session with your crush. His head was perfectly tilted to cover your lips completely while your hands slid up his neck and tangled in his silky hair. The kisses were fast paced and sloppy, but full of emotion. They were all open-mouth, tongues sinfully and willfully rubbing against one another in a swirl of saliva and bliss. Your leg was draped over his lap when your body had turned towards him. His hand running up and down your leg, drawing circles to your outer thigh. Your eyes were closed, relishing in the way his lavished your lips. With his other arm around your shoulders, he was able to keep you closer than ever, the kiss never ending.

The hand on your thigh dared to move up a bit further, running over your behind that had lifted off of the couch. The shock of it made you shiver, a moan lost in his mouth. Dylan moaned in return, giving it a firm squeeze before daring to move a tad bit further. But, the squeeze made you stop. Flashes of criticizing words you had been haunted by for months appeared in the darkness of your closed eyelids, the murmurs of his fans when you were out and about ringing in your ears. Their glares pierced your soul, being the final straw to make you break the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” Dylan asked huskily, trying to catching his breath. He frowned at the loss of warmth when you crawled off of him, moving away from the couch. He blinked multiple times, trying to clear the spotted vision that came from his arousal, his hand moving to adjust his erection in his sweats. His hazel eyes followed you as you paced his living room, a hand running through your hair. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” came your harsh words. Dylan felt his heart physically plummet at your words, his eyes narrowing on your form.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked harder than he meant to, only making you whimper at him.

“It’s just…”

“Babe, we’ve been like this for months now. You’ve never had an issue when I’ve kissed you before,” Dylan told with a hard tone. “So, why now are you doubting it? Has this just been a game to you? Because I sure as hell like you a lot and I’ve been waiting for you to be ready for us to be official. I haven’t pushed because I want you to be comfortable with the idea of us.”

“Dyl…”

“Just tell me why, Y/N,” he pushed. “Why don’t you want to be with me? Are you playing with my emotions? Because I know that’s not you. I’m so freaking sure you like me back and now I’m really confused because things have been so great. I love kissing you and you come on so strong. You kiss me as much as I kiss you.” He ruffled his hair with a loud, distressed groan that filled the apartment. The noise made you cringe, hearing his voice strain from the rippling yell. “I don’t get it. Why?”

“We can’t do this,” you repeated, trying to be firm. “They just… they don’t want this.”

“They?” he asked. “Are you talking about my fans?”

“Yes!”

“Babe, are you still letting their words get to you?” he asked sadly. Dylan moved from the couch, pulling you into his arms. “Remember, they don’t define our relationship. It’s our choice if we want to be together. So, why are you letting their words get to you.”

“I’m scared,” you sniffled. “I don’t want to be hated for loving you.”

Dylan’s heart dropped at the classic ‘L’ word, rubbing his lips together. “They won’t,” he whispered.

“Yes, they will!” You yelled louder than you wanted to.

“Why do you care what they think?” he pushed.

“They’re your fans, Dyl. You’re famous. You’re talented. People look up to you and when they see you with me…” You stopped, shaking your head. “You’ve never had someone look at you the way they look at me. They hate it, Dyl.”

“So what?” He asked again. “It doesn’t matter what they want. It’s about what I want. What we want.”

“You think it’s so easy, Dylan!” You cried, banging on his chest slightly. "It's easy to be like this in the confines of your house, Dyl. But out there, I'm a nobody compared to you.”

“So are they!” He yelled. “Y/N, they are just fans of mine. They are selfish, alright? People are delusional all of the time. All they ever say is how they love me. All they do is ask for pictures and autographs without the simplest of introductions. But you, you’re not like that. You are my best friend. You are the girl I have feelings for. You are the girl I want to date. You are the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life for fuck’s sake!”

“Dylan, you just don’t get it,” you cried. “The way they would look at us. The way everyone would look at us. I’m scared to be with you because they don’t want us to be together. I don’t want to live the rest of my life being the girl that is with Dylan O’Brien that doesn’t deserve it. They should be happy about this, but they aren’t. When it’s just us, it’s perfect. You make me so happy, I can’t believe how much my cheeks hurt when I go to sleep at night. But when we go outside, you’ll realize how worthless this is. How worthless I am. I don’t want to hinder you or your career because your fans want to think we aren’t right for each other.”

“Babe, we can make this work,” he tried to say, only getting pushed away.

“Just don’t, Dyl,” you cried. Dylan’s heart cracked at the sight of your tears running down your cheeks, hands shaking when he took a step forward to wipe them away. “Please, just don’t.”

“Babe, it doesn’t have to be like this,” he whispered.

“We can’t be together. You’re an actor, Dylan. You will always be in the spotlight, no matter what you do or where you go. You have fans and I’m not going to ruin your career like this. This is your life and I hate to say it, but it’s not up to you. It’s not up to me. This isn’t possible when everyone tells us who we can be or who we can be with. I want to be with you, Dylan. I want to be with you so bad. But, I wasn’t the one you were meant to be with.”

“Please, don’t do this,” he whispered, voice cracking with the inevitable tears he was going to shed. “W-we can do something to make this work. If I want you and you want me, then it’s possible, Y/N. You can’t let them get to you. Just, please, don’t go.”

“I’m sorry, Dyl. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I can’t be that perfect girl that everyone is happy you are with. I’m sorry I can’t make you happy. I’m sorry I’m not good enough.” You wiped at your tears, rushing to the door. “I’m sorry you had to fall for me.”

“Y/N, no. Wait, please. I-”

You slid on your shoes, the tears dripping off your chin when you turned back to him. “There is nothing that can change our fate, Dylan. They won’t accept us, so it’s better if I let you go before things get worse.”

You ran out the door with it slamming closed behind you before Dylan would move forward to stop you. Your figure was gone from his cloudy view, the tears no longer able to be stopped. His hand trembled before dropping from its outreached position, going limp at his side. It pained him to see you so distraught about this, holding back to appease everyone but yourself. He knew you were caring, but just once, he wanted you to be selfish. That compassion was causing you agony and all he wanted was for you to not worry about what everyone else thought.

It was supposed to be about you and him.

His words fell on deaf ears when he muttered the final words he wanted to express more than anything. “I love you, Y/N…”

♪No one can rewrite the stars/ How can you say you'll be mine?/ Everything keeps us apart/ And I'm not the one you were meant to find/ It's not up to you/ It's not up to me/ When everyone tells us what we can be/ How can we rewrite the stars?/ Say that the world can be ours/ Tonight♪

~

♪How do we rewrite the stars?/ Say you were made to be mine?/ Nothing can keep us apart/ 'Cause you are the one I was meant to find/ It's up to you/ And it's up to me/ No one can say what we get to be/ And why don't we rewrite the stars?/ Changing the world to be ours♪

It was early March in Los Angeles. The rain poured from the dark sky, the heavy drops pounding the ground in a steady beat. The pavement was blackened more than normal from the tears of the sky, people refusing to move about through the patter of droplets. Pellets tapped to your apartment windows, the splash of tired through the water outside somewhat sounding in your home. It poured much like your depressed emotions.

Another X over the day was placed in which you hadn’t seen nor spoke to Dylan. You avoided him like the plague. After your spat, you ignored his calls and refused to see him. And, it just broke your heart even more. Crying yourself to sleep every night was all you could do. Struggle with the feelings that would dissipate was what lumped in your gut. Wishing you could hear his voice whispering in your ear was what your dreamt about. Craving the feel of his arms around you was what you missed.

You were settled into bed, catching up on the latest episodes of some cooking show you loved, when you heard a knock at the door. The clock read some time after eleven, your eyes narrowing on it. “Who the fuck…?” You asked yourself. Who was knocking this late during a storm?

Moving to the door, you clicked on a light to see where you were going. Pushing up on your toes, you peered through the peephole at the late night visitor. You frowned, contemplating for a second that it was best to back away and ignore the person on the other side. But their second knock made you sigh. The lock clicked and the door cracked open to show Dylan’s form better. He was dripping wet, shivering slightly in the March chill. He stared down at his feet, Adidas squishing when he swapped his weight between feet. His hazel eyes looked void of emotion, the normal pop in his irises glazed over with sadness. His stubble had grown out more, framing his chiseled jawline that looked somewhat thinner than you were used to. He was paler, having lost the joy he normally had.

“Dylan,” you breathed. His eyes met yours, mouth opening to say nothing. He remained still, shaking from the wet clothes that clung to his toned body and muscles arms. “Why are you here? And, why are you all wet?”

“I just,” he started, teeth chattering slightly. He shook his head to clear his mind, water flying off the wet tips of his hair. “I had to clear things up. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you and talked to you. Ever since that night when we argued about everything, you haven’t answered my called and I haven’t seen you. I couldn’t leave things like this before I head to Vancouver.”

“Oh,” you whispered. He mentioned once that he was going to film The Death Cure, but you didn’t realize it was so close since you hadn’t talked to him since that night. “So, why are you all wet?”

“Well, I kind of drove over and um,” he breathed, rubbing his lips together. “I guess I hesitated. I had to contemplate what I was doing to say when I got up here. I figured if I didn’t already have some kind of speech ready that you would just shut me out again.”

“So you stood in the rain?” you asked.

Dylan smiled slightly, nodding. “I guess so,” he laughed before his face went back to being serious. “Listen. Everything that happened… I get it. I know being with me isn’t easy. The fame… it’s not easy to deal with and sometimes, I wish I didn’t have it. But, I can’t help that I like you. Most of all, I can’t help that you mean so much to me, friend or girlfriend or whatever. I didn’t want this to ruin our friendship, Y/N. I can’t lose my best friend. You mean too much to me to lose. I wish you wouldn’t worry about my fans, but I’m not here to talk about that. I came… I came to talk to you before I leave. I can’t work knowing we are upset like this. I want my girl back.”

You frowned at him. Your heart was pumping, staring at the solemn man. You liked this man so much and the fame made it impossible to be with him the way you wanted. But, he was still your friend and pushing him away was just doing more harm than good. He had come all this way before leaving for filming to amend things between you both because he, too, didn’t want to lose the friendship you held for so long.

“Come in please,” you told him, opening the door wider. He sent you a confused look. “You’re soaking wet, Dylan. You’re going to get sick if you don’t come in right now and get out of those wet clothes. We will run you a hot shower and we will dry the clothes.”

“Alright,” he mumbled, moving inside with you. The door was locked before you dragged him into the bathroom in your room, sitting him down on the toilet. You grabbed a towel from the rack, Dylan’s eyes following you. “Does this mean you forgive me?”

You sides, placing the towel on the counter. Your hand run through his wet hair, Dylan melting into your tender touch. “I wasn’t mad at you, Dyl,” you told him quietly. “I just…”

“I know,” he bemused sadly. “I get it’s hard. But it shouldn’t matter what people think. I wish you would accept that. They don’t define our relationship. We can make whatever we have work if we just try. No one can say what we are or what we have. It’s up to us what we want to be. But, if you aren’t comfortable, I get it. I just wish-”

“I know,” you sighed. “I know, Dyl. I wish too. I wish that we be together. I like you, Dylan. I always have and I always will. But,” you froze, shaking your head. “Can we not talk about this please?”

“Alright,” he agreed. The sadness was prominent in his voice. He took your hand, bringing it to his lips though, placing a light kiss to it. “I missed you, cupcake.”

“I missed you too, Dyldo,” you hummed, kissing his forehead.

His hand dropped, your hands moving to the bottom of his shirt. He didn’t fight it, lifting his arms so you could slowly pull the wet shirt over his head. When his head popped free from the opening, his hair bounced around happily. The cotton was carefully stripped off his arms, dropping in a wet clump beside the toilet. Your fingers ran down his shoulders and arms, across his chest. The way his muscles rippled made your fingers tingle, his arms tensing and releasing against the smooth touch. You silently admired how beautiful and handsome the man truly was, a picture of pure perfection sitting before you. You played with the hairs on his chest, resting your palm over his heart.

It was hammered against his ribs, skipping beats here and there.

He glanced up at you through his lashes, fluttering them occasionally. He took your hand from his chest, placing kisses to each of your fingertips before lacing your fingers together. You felt your stomach flutter anxiously, heart picking up speed like his. It was almost as if your argument never happened and you were reverting back to the romantic ways you shared before you left him alone. For a second, you though back to the times you shared and the happiness you felt when you were with him. But then, the reality of the situation poked its head out as a bitter reminder of what couldn’t be.

You pulled your hand back, backing towards the door. “I-I will go get you some clothes. Please, shower and get warm.”

You ran out before he could say anything, the door closing before you. You let out a shaky sigh, moving to grab some clothes from the drawer dedicated to him. Spare clothes were kept in case he would pass out in your bed, needing something to sleep in or wear to work the next day. Before returning, you sat on your bed with the clothes resting on your lap, folded neatly.

You thought back on his words, knowing how hard he was pushing to be with you; knowing how bad he wanted to be with you. You felt it too. You wanted nothing more than to call him your own. But the words people uttered behind your back kept you hesitant. You wanted nothing more than to be by his side but the fear made you tremble inside. Your eyes closed, seeing him behind them in all his glory. The image made your heart race, body craving more from him. You reminded yourself repeatedly that he was famous and the fans wouldn’t accept it, but he kept your spirits up, never pushing you to do more than you wanted. He hoped and prayed, sure, wishing you would accept him and only him, but he never wanted to lose you.

Was it truly that impossible to be with him? You started to wonder in that second.

Moving back to the bathroom, it was fogged up before you even slipped inside. Dylan’s figure could be made out behind the curtain, the shower running and falling over his body. The clothes were placed beside his towel, your backside leaning on the counter. You watched him move around, hearing the shampoo pop open so he could wash his hair. His shirtless torso came to mind again, your heartbeat picking up and your body beginning to burn. You wanted to run your fingers along it. Wishing he would run his along your body as well.

Is it impossible? You asked yourself, biting your lip. The pressure of his career and fandom weighed down heavily on you, the fear of acceptance like a cloud over your head. But the sunlight of his smile made you smile, the touch of his skin against yours intensifying the need to be with him. He was able to push away the fight and the anxiety, and you were reminded about how much he meant to you.

In a split decision, your clothes were shed, leaving you bare in the middle of the bathroom. You were scared that he was going to be alright with this and you were scared that this was the right decision. Everything was a whirl in your mind, everything around you not mattering when you pushed the curtain aside and stepped into the steaming hot shower with him. His back was to you, his face dripping with the water that showered over him. His head fell back to let the droplets slide across his skin, his perfectly round behind in plain sight. Your cheeks lit up, but you moved forward.

Your chest pressed to his back, your arms wrapping around his frame. Earning no verbal response, he took your hands in his, his head turning to the ground. You hid your face in his back, kissing it softly. Dylan was happy to feel you pressing into him, but he was confused. He knew where you sat with everything. He understood, despite how much he disagreed with it. And all he wanted was to be with you, no matter what. After everything that happened, the argument you had in his house, he wasn’t sure you would want to continue the potential relationship because of the things out of his control. He didn’t want the fans to make the choice, but they would always be something you would consider.

“What does this mean?” He asked quietly. His voice almost didn’t carry to your ears over the running shower, it was that low. Carefully, he turned in your grasp, his chest against yours. You looked up at him, seeing the whirl of emotions in his eyes. “What does this mean, Y/N?”

“I don’t know,” you told him truthfully. He nodded. You were scared; there was no changing that. His fans were part of him and they made things difficult with the way they acted. But, you liked this man. A lot. And you didn’t want to let them change that. “I like you Dylan. A lot. Like, I never thought I’d like you as much as I do now. You are my best friend and I want nothing more than you to be by my side forever. And you know that. But, it feels impossible.”

“It’s not impossible,” he whispered.

“Is it impossible?” you asked aloud. His hands cupped your cheeks while yours ran up and down his arms, letting the burn corrupt you. The fear was gone and replaced by him, the way he made you feel, and the love you felt for him. Everything felt impossible because of Dylan’s life because he seemed so out of reach. But, when it came to the two of you, none of that mattered. He was right there in your grasp, unmoving.

“Just say that it’s possible,” Dylan told you quietly.

With your face still in his large hands, he leaned down, placing a firmly soft kiss to your lips. It was sweet and screamed every emotion he felt. His lips enveloped yours, dragging down slowly. Your noses brushed and your foreheads collided tenderly. The kiss made your fingers curl into his arms, sinking into his hold completely.

And without hesitation, you returned the kiss.

Multiple sweet kisses were exchanged, the smack of lips on lps mixing with the rain of the shower. Some were open-mouth so his tongue could trace the innards of your mouth, running along your cheeks until he found the spots that made you moan, while others were just close lipped, smashing together like life depended on it. You were were clenched closed, enjoying the feeling of him in your arms.

His hands moved down from your face, skimming along your sides before cupping your ass instead. Your own hands smoothed against his chest, his pecs flexing under your palms. The kisses sped up slightly, not losing the sweetness that you enjoyed. His cock was twitching upright the more you kissed and pushed into him, trapped between your bodies.  When his hands moved back up your body, swapping from your butt to your breasts with a squeeze, you moaned into him.

His hands fondled at your breasts, thumbs passing over your hardened nipples. The touch made your shiver, moaning more with each passing second. His touch wasn’t hard, making you uncomfortable. It was just right: careful and delicate, almost as if you would break if he did too much. He moaned into the kisses you shared, gripping at your soft mounds desperately. The plump mounds under his finger tips made his mouth water and his mind race with a wild imagination.

His lips separated from yours, kisses lining your jaw until he settled into your neck. His hands left your chest and slid between your bodies. You whimpered when his hand brushed your core, not pushing inside without permission. Always kind, that man, not wanting to push boundaries if you didn’t want it. A sharp intake of air was heard when you answered his plea with your inaudible answer. Your hand joined him, grasping his large shaft in your hand. You stroked it casually, rubbing at the tip that was wet with more than water. The grip you had on him only made him groan louder, finally slipping his fingers inside you.

Together, you pleased the other. His fingers gently thrust into your core, tips curling to claw laviously at your tender walls and sweet spot. Your hand stroked his length, tugging bits of skin over the head before it was released to return to its normal position. Your bodies were flushed against one another, your head resting on his shoulder while his was hidden in your neck, sucking at it until it was red and spotted. The shower rained over your forms, droplets sliding down your skin to make you slick against each other.

He pulled his hand out of you, licking the digits clean while you were whining at the loss of heat. Your hand was pried off of him, your whines only growing louder. With an arm wrapped around your back, you were dipped backwards, his lips on yours in a steamy embrace. On instinct, one of your arms wrapped itself around his neck to keep you from falling backwards. The other hand rested to his chest, only making the entire embrace more romantic. To feel his soft, wet skin rippling under your fingertips while his lips lavished yours in hot, steamy kisses where your tongues twisted and twirled together was nothing but a dream you had multiple times.

You mewled into the kiss when he lifted your leg up to wrap around his waist, his moist shaft rubbing along your core. You were hot and you were aching, walls tensing with anticipation. But naturally, he didn’t do anything until he pulled back, giving you the questioning stare in the sultry brown eyes on his head. He wasn’t one to thrust without making sure you were ok with it first. He wanted you to want is as much as he did.

With a nod, he straightened himself, keeping your leg upright around him and a hand on the small of your bac. You hugged him close, wincing but moaning when he slid in completely, hilt deep in the blink of an eye. He kissed the stray tears that fell, knowing you were in pain from the lack of sex you had in the past. He was larger than most guys too, so taking every inch of his thick cock wasn’t an easy feat. You said nothing, letting yourself get accustomed to his length before bucking forward as a way to get him to move.

He pulled back, pushing back in swiftly just before the tip escaped your grasp. The sudden thrust into you made your head fall back with a loud moan, a hand threaded through his hair to give it a yank. His cock was buried deep inside you, the angle allowing his long shaft to find your sweet spot. The head tapped at it every time he pulled back, pounding into you repeatedly. Wet hips clapped together, skin on skin colliding together in heated slaps. The pistoning of his cock made you moan his name, Dylan’s ears bleeding joy. He had waited to hear you moan his name for so long.

You were quivering in his hold. His powerful, quick thrusts made your head spin and your stomach clench in flutters. His kisses made you hot and your cheeks flush. Your lips were plump and swollen from the multiple kisses he left on them, your neck spotted with red blotches. The hot water the sprayed over your bodies, amplifying the feeling. The heat helped to stimulate your nerve endings, his thrusts ten times more effective than normal. His touch made you whimper for more, needing the constant affection he was giving you.

As soon as you felt your stomach beginning to clench and your toes started to curl, he stopped moving. You were left empty, Dylan pulling out completely and dropping your leg. When you backed away to give him a sour look, you saw him turn to turn off the water. The curtain was ripped back with a scrape of the hooks on the metal rod, your body lifted off of the floor. You squeaked, afraid for a second he would slip, but he managed to step out of the tub, moving your soaked bodies towards your room. The chill of your apartment hit your dripping forms, a shiver running up and down your spine. Goosebumps formed on your skin making you curl into the natural heat Dylan provided. He was always a space heater and now you were glad he kept you so close.

He managed to push the blankets down, dropping you on the bed so it squealed under your weight. He laid to your side, pulling the blankets to your chests. Laying on your sides, you faced each other. Your hand stroked his face, tracing shapes along the speckled constellations on his cheeks. Dylan pulled your leg over his waist, the tip of his cock gravitating to your still yearning pussy.

Slowly, you pulled him forward into a delicate kiss, your lips moving against each other perfectly. They molded together like two pieces of the same puzzle, smoothing together in a lapse of bliss. Your legs twisted together, the leg you had over his waist pulling him closer with a nudge. The tip of his cock poked at your core, finally easing in when you used a hand to give his perfect butt a shove. Moans were mixed in with the kisses, vibrating throats and making the kisses hotter than before.

The thrusts he did weren’t entirely hard or wild. They were just right for you: steady, smooth and loving. He didn’t need to spank your ass or talk dirty to make you wet, though deep inside, you wanted to hear him talk like that as he fucked you relentlessly. Right now, you were glad that he was there in your arms. The sweet kisses made his powerful thrusts explosive, the tip hitting your g-spot over and over again. The kisses never stopped, foreheads resting on one another while your lips slid in rhythm with your clapping hips.

Slowly, they grew sloppy, Dylan’s chest heaving heavier. His eyes squeezed shut, panting with the inevitable orgasm he was about to have. Your hand scraped at his back to keep from screaming out in pleasure, leaving red marks along his tensed shoulder blades. Your walls clung around him, knowing you were close to your end. With one last kiss, you both broke. Your juices splashed around him while his seed spurt out in strings of white. They mixed together in an array of juices, warming your insides completely. Your walls hugged his length, milking every last drop he had built up into your core. His thrusts slowed, lips lingering with hot breaths.

Dylan pulled out of you, his hazy eyes opening. He watched your orbs flutter open, staring longingly at him. He rolled to hover over you, a mixture of sweat and shower water covering his skin from the passionate sex you had with each other. Finger tips ran along his cheeks, pulling him into a rare kiss where you covered his lips. The short connection still managed to make your lips tingle when he pulled away. With a happy sigh, his head fell to your chest, listening to your heart pound against your rib cage. He felt your lips on his forehead, hugging you close.

Things seemed to be perfect. You had the man of your dreams in your arms after a wonderful round of sex - honestly, the best sex you ever had. Now, you were laying in your bed together, legs tangled together, your hand running through his hair. It was like you were made for each other. You were happy. You were content.

Then, the feeling vanished and you were cold inside. The short lived moment was ruined by the bitter reminder of who he was. He was an actor. He was famous. He was hot. And you weren’t right for him. He deserved someone that people would accept. He deserved someone that would make him happy. And he wasn’t meant to be with you. You weren’t going to be accepted. As much as you wanted it, you knew it was impossible. The things people said and the way people glared at you - it was impossible.

His smile fell when you pushed him off your chest. He sat up on his elbows, watching you rushed around to grab a pair a shorts and a baggy Mets hoodie you stole from Dylan’s closet months ago. His lips pursed together, seeing your hand run through your wet, knotted locks in dismay.  

“Baby?” He asked lowly.

“We shouldn’t have done that,” you said quickly. You paced the length of your room, biting at your nail. “We shouldn’t have done that.”

“Are you serious?” He snapped angrily, falling back on the bed. His hands ran over his face, groaning loudly. “Are we really back on this? I thought we got passed this.”

“Oh, cut the shit, Dylan,” you grumbled.

“Babe, listen to yourself!” He yelled. “We just had sex. The best sex ever. And instead of cuddling, you are pushing me away. Again! I thought by this happening, you were ok with everything. It’s possible for us to happen, babe. But I don’t get why you keep pushing me away.”

“We’ve been over this.”

“Because of my fans?” he sneered. “Because of my fucking fans? Babe, I don’t give a shit what they think! I love you! I want to be with you! You are the one that makes me happy. God, I wish you wouldn’t fucking let them get inside your head. It doesn’t matter what they want. It doesn’t matter how many times they say ‘I love you Dylan’ or anything of the likes. I don’t want them and they can suck my fucking dick if they don’t like me being with you. Hell, I will quit acting if that means I can be with you!”

“But that’s what I don’t want, Dylan!” you cried. “You’re at your best when you are acting. It makes you happy and you are amazing. I’m not going to be the reason you stop. I’m not going to be the reason people dislike you. I’m not going to drag you down, Dylan! I don’t want to hurt you because I’m not accepted. You don’t know how it feels for them to look at you the way they do me. And I won’t let them do that to you as well.”

“Babe, it doesn’t matter. They will learn to accept you because you make me happy. That’s what matters!”

“This can’t happen, Dylan. If this keeps up, it’s just going to end badly,” you cried, tears in your eyes. You played with the ends of the sleeves on your hoodie, the cuffs covering half of your hands. “My hands are tied, Dyl. Your fans won’t accept a nobody like me with the likes of you. You are the most amazing man in the world. Smart, handsome, funny, kind. But, I can’t have you. We’re bound to break because of the lives we live. We weren’t meant to be together.”

“You don’t mean that,” came his cracked voice. “We can make it work.”

“I’m sorry, Dylan.”

“Is this really how this is going to end?” He asked, fighting back his tears. “I’m going to go off to film and this is how you’re going to leave it? It literally feels like you are breaking up with me. Please, tell me this isn’t how it ends.”

You stayed silent.

“Y/N, please,” he cried. “Please, don’t leave me like this. Please, Y/N. I can’t lose you. I just can’t. I need you.”

Without answering, you walked out of the room, heading out to the patio. The rainy air made you shudder, leaning back against the wall. You could hear Dylan’s movements inside, doors slamming hard enough to shake the walls. His words stung, the fact that he admitted to loving you the way he did making your heart completely crack.That made everything even harder.

When the front door slammed next, you peered over the edge of the balcony, spotting his retreating form running through the rain. His headlights came on and his black Charger backed out dangerously. Tires squealed against the wet pavement, water flying behind him. He drove from the lot, his car disappearing into the darkness.

You slid to the ground, finally letting your tears flow freely. Hugging your knees to your chest, your face buried in them, crying into the odd hours of the night for your lost love.It didn’t matter how cold you got from the moist air. Your soul was cold and your heart was ice, a crack ebbed in there for eternity.

♪You know I want you/ It's not a secret I try to hide/ But I can't have you/ We're bound to break and my hands are tied♪

~

It had been a long couple of weeks. People noted how pale you looked and how unhappy you seemed. Once Dylan left, nothing felt right with you. You were empty inside and out. He didn’t bother to call or text. And with him being out of town for filming, you missed seeing him. His words haunted you every night, making you wonder if it was all a mistake.

Had you been in the wrong to worry about others opinions of you? Had you pushed him away wrongly because of his fans - over something he didn’t have control over. He said over and over again how the only thing that mattered was you and him. Yet, you ignored him, telling him how impossible it was. He told you how he loved you and what did you do? Told him no. You told him that you couldn’t be with him because people didn’t accept you.

You hated the situation. You hated his fame. You hated his fans for being so negative when they saw you two together. But, most of all, you hated yourself for breaking Dylan’s heart. All he did was love you, care for you and want to be with you and in return, he was crushed.

Returning home from work one night in mid-March, you tossed your coat on a hanger, dropping your purse on the couch and left your boots in the hallway before taking the bags of groceries to the kitchen. You opened the bottle of beer before preparing to make yourself a small dinner, putting away the groceries you didn’t need. The chicken sat on the counter, staring back at you tauntingly. Dylan always loved his chicken, and the meat was a harsh reminder of the chocolate haired man.

Before you could crack it open, your phone started ringing. Your eyebrow rose, sipping at the beer. Fishing it out, you stared at the unknown number in confusion. With a quick swipe of the green button, you held it to your ear. “Hello?” You answered hesitantly.

“Hi. I’m looking for a Miss Y/N L/N?” the lady on the other side hummed. The line was loud on the other side, only confusing you more. People seemed to be bustling around so you weren’t entirely sure why they were calling, looking for you. You weren’t really sure who they were anyway.

“Speaking,” you mumbled.

“Hi. My name is Ariel. I am a nurse here at Mount Saint Joseph Hospital in Vancouver,” she said. Your brow furrowed, forehead crinkling together. Why was a hospital calling you? “I’m calling on half of a… Mister O’Brien?”

You choked on your drink, sputtering with a cough. Drops of the sour liquid fell to the ground, but that was the least of your concerns. “E-excuse me?”

“I can’t provide a lot of information at this time, but Mister O’Brien was brought in after an accident occurred on the movie set he was working on. You were one of the first on his emergency contact list.”

“W-what’s wrong with him?” You asked quietly.

“Well, he is currently in surgery. It seems the accident caused multiple breaks in the right side of his face and there is the possibility for some brain damage the doctors will assess. We will know more after he gets out of surgery.”

Hearing her words, the bottle spilled from your grasp, shattering on the ground by your feet. You couldn’t even feel the tears running down your cheeks. You wobbled to the side, weakly catching yourself on the table. The tears hit the wood, dark dots forming under you. You choked on your words, sobbing into the phone. He had been hurt after everything that happened. You blamed yourself, already fearing the worst.

“Miss Y/N?” Ariel asked.

“S-sorry,” you choked. “I um… am I able to come see him?”

“Of course. He won’t be out of surgery for a while, but you can come and wait until he can be seen.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible. Thank you.”

You hung up your phone, ignoring the broken glass in the middle of your kitchen as you ran to your room, throwing mismatched clothes into a bag. You called for an uber, making for the airport before you knew what was happening. The first flight to Vancouver wasn’t for hours, but you waited, not caring how long it took or how expensive it was. You were going to see Dylan, even if it killed you.

Arriving at the hospital, his parents and sister were there. They looked as wrecked as you were. Your makeup from work had smeared since you didn’t bother to remove it. It formed dark rings around your eyes like a raccoon without sleep. You still had your bag in hand when you ran in, dropping it to give Julia a massive hug. You sobbed in her arms, burying your face in the girl’s shoulder.

“It’s all my fault,” you cried. “It’s all my fault, Jules.”

“No, honey. It’s not,” she cooed with her ragged, tearful voice. “It was an accident.”

“No, no. It’s all my fault! I pushed him away. I told him we couldn’t be together. He got hurt because I broke him. What if he doesn’t make it through this? What if he stops acting? What if-”

“Shh,” she said, pushing you back to cup your cheeks in her hands. “He’s going to be ok. You just have to believe in that. You have to be strong for Dylan. My brother is strong and he will make it.”

“But, what if he doesn’t forgive me?” you cried. Julia smiled, kissing your forehead.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. And honestly, that boy could never hate you. He’s loved you since the day you walked over to our house. He will get through this and he will tell you the exact same thing. It wasn’t your fault.”

You cried for a bit longer before releasing her, giving hugs to the Patrick and Lisa. Together, you sat in the waiting room until a nurse walked over, informing you that he was out of surgery and in his room. You followed as a unit towards where he laid, your hand grasp tightly in Julia’s.

“He’s under some heavy pain killers and hasn’t completely come out of the anesthetic. He might be sleeping for a while.”

“But he’s ok?” You croaked.

“Well, he’s undergone some reconstructive surgery since the right side of his face was nearly crushed from the accident. He might need to get some more, but he has gotten four plates to support the structure of that side. There is some brain trauma that we will monitor to make sure it doesn’t get any worse, but he should recover from it. I think mostly, it will be afterwards. It’ll be hard to get back out there after something like this.”

You sniffled loudly. Facial reconstruction, four plates he would live with for the rest of his life, brain trauma. Your heart crumbled in your chest. The nurse stopped outside a door, letting Dylan’s parents in first. You were honestly scared to see him. You were scared to see what happened to him. You were scared to think about what would happen. Would he be the same old Dylan? Would he change because of this? Would the surgery change him? Would he still love you?

Julia went next, the three leaving to give you time alone with Dylan when they were done. The O’Brien’s weren’t stupid. They were privy to the feelings you held for their son just as they knew how he felt for you. So, they let you be, letting you have time alone at his side. Grateful as you were, you hesitated before walking in. The bag dropped from your shaky hands when you heart the heart monitor beeping steadily. You saw the IV drop in his arm and his limp body sleeping in nothing more than a hospital gown. Compression socks covered his feet that stuck out from under the blanket, his hand resting on his stomach as he snoozed. You could barely tell it was Dylan with his face bandaged as much as it was, skin a mixture or orange and red from blood and iodine.

Fresh tears sprung to your eyes, covering your mouth to muffle the cry you let out. Your heart shattered to the floor at his broken state. Still, you moved forward, pulling up the chair by his bed. You took the hand without the IV in it, lacing your fingers together with his. They felt colder than normal, his skin having lost the hot luster and rough texture you loved. His knuckles were neatly bandaged as well, your lips pressing to them with gentle kisses.

Under your breath, you hummed quietly, singing him a song you sang together. Since the first time Dylan played it for you, he always made you sing it with him. He once said it represented your friendship because amongst everyone, he was always able to see you. You were the brightest star that lit his path, being there for him no matter what. But, now that you were thinking on it, singing it to his unconscious form, you realized that it mean more than that. You were the only one for him and he was the only one for you.

“I don't care, go on and tear me apart. I don't care if you do ooh ooh. 'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars. I think I saw you,” you sang quietly, your tears falling on his hand. “I’m so sorry, Dylan. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I was being stupid. I was being selfish. I thought I was doing what was best for both of us but in reality, it wasn’t good at all. I hurt you, I hurt me.

“But, please, Dylan. I need you. I need you so bad. I’m so sorry I kept pushing. And I promise, when you wake up, I’m done running. I want to be with you. I need you by my side. I want you, baby. You were right all along. It doesn’t matter what others say because all that matters to me is you. I will be by your side forever, no matter what. Just please, you have to make it through this. For me. I love you, Dylan O’Brien. I always have and I always will. And no one can stop us from being together if you still want that. I understand if you won’t because I… I broke you beyond belief.

“Dylan, please. I love you so much.”

You fell asleep by his side that night. And for many nights. You refused to leave his side, not wanting him to be alone when he awoke.

On the fifth day, his hand twitched. His body ached as he squirmed under the sheets. Clenching his eyes tighter. He remembered the jerk of his body and the pain the erupted over him like a volcano. He could recall the screams of people around him before the world went dark. He wanted to cry. He hurt, every limb of his body screaming at him to make it stop. The IV twisted when he felt at his bandaged face, remembering how fast everything went. People told him he was hurt, but he would be ok.

Was this ok?

His other hand was warm, a weight hanging on that side of the bed. It hurt to turn, his eyes softening when he saw your slumbering form. You looked like a wreck with your tangled hair and wrinkled, baggy clothes. Dark bags were under your eyes from lack of sleep, the stress having been too much to let you rest properly.

Just having you by his side made his heart thump, the beeping of the machine picking up. He would have smiled if he could, glad to see you there. He was sure that you hated him after the way you shut him out after you had sex. With you by his side, he was elated. The one thing he could have hoped to see was in front of him, holding his hand. The words he heard may not have been a dream after all, your voice echoing through his head with constant apologies.

His hand weakly squeezed at yours, waking you up in the process. He loved the way your eyelashes fluttered against your cheeks as you awoke, lifting your head from the side of the bed. It took you a few blinks to focus on his dull brown eyes encased by the bandages that stared down your soul. Tears were in your eyes instantly when he tried to give you a weak smile, squeezing your hand again.

“Dylan,” you sobbed, covering the noises you wanted to cry out.

You pushed up from your seat, the chair tipping backwards. You had to kneel on the side of the bed to hover over him, carefully taking his head in your hands. As tenderly as possible, you placed a kiss to his lips, letting them linger for a second. Your tears dropped onto his face, a smile on your face.

“You’re awake,” you cried. “I love you, Dyl. I love you so much.”

He groaned in response, his dry throat and fractured face not allowing him to talk. Taking his hand, he gave it a squeeze, making you cry more.

“You still love me?” You asked. He nodded slightly. You smiled, kissing his hand. “I love you, Dyl. I’m so sorry. For everything. I was stupid. But, I’m done being stupid. I… I can’t lose you again. I need you. I want you. And no one can stop us if you’ll still have me.”

His fingers twitched, slowing moving to lace with yours. You grinned, crying into your conjoined hands.

You were going to be ok.

~

“You will do great,” you said, playing with the fluffy curls that resided against his forehead. “Deep breaths, baby.”

“I’ve done interviews before,” he laughed, shaking his head.

“I know, Dyl. But this is the first since…”

“I’ll be fine,” he whispered, taking your hand. Dylan kisses your palm, his smile hidden from your view. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too,” you told him, flushing a bright red.

“Dylan, we’re ready for you,” Clarissa, one of the people working on the interview, said, gesturing to the empty chair he was about to rest in.

“Alright,” he told her. Before he left, he placed a kiss to your lips, repeatedly placing them on your skin. His multiple kisses made you laugh, swatting him away. “Wish me luck!”

“Break a leg!” You grinned, the man stumbling away over clumsy feet.

August over a year later had come quickly. Dylan’s accident was hard to overcome, the man dealing with many hardships the entire time. But, he got up off the couch and managed to overcome the plagues of his mind. He filmed American Assassin about six months after he returned home from Vancouver. He went back and finished filming Death Cure in South Africa that May. He was back to the bright and shining Dylan O’Brien everyone knew and loved, and it didn’t even feel like he had been in a life-threatening accident on set.

He was doing press finally for the American Assassin release in a month and he was nervous. This was the first time he was getting interviewed since leaving the hospital and you both knew every interviewer was going to ask about the incident. Dylan had a couple of panic attacks at night when he thought about it, the trauma still present deep inside him. But, after many pep talks and deep breathing sessions he claimed he was ready to talk about. A year and he was going to reveal enough about what happened and how he felt after it all happened.

You stood off to the side, listening to the interviewer, Carla, ask him about the movie and working with Taylor and Michael. She asked about being cast as Mitch and how it was different than the other roles he played. He happily answered it all, never once shying away from his thoughts. He smiled brightly, making you proud of the man you loved. You were giddy to see him having come so far.

“Now, the elephant in the room,” Carla hummed thoughtfully. “The Death Cure. The accident last March. We know it happened, but we don’t know the details. I was wondering if you could share some of your thoughts on that.”

You swallowed thickly, seeing Dylan do the same. This was the moment you had been dreading. Dylan rubbed his hands on his jeans, adjusting in his seat. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“Yeah. The, um, accident,” he breathed. “It was hard. Honestly, it was something you know can happen but never thought actually would. One moment I was doing a scene and the next, I was on the ground, in pain, with people screaming around me. I ended up breaking most of the right side of my face and I thought I wouldn’t ever look the same after that. I was sure I was going to be scarred for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t look like me anymore. But, the doctors I had… they were amazing and made it look like nothing ever happened. Now, I just have four plates in my face that I will live with forever. There was some brain trauma I had to deal with but nothing I can’t handle now.

“After I got out, I… I almost didn’t come back. I was scared. I constantly thought that if it happened once, it could happen again. So, I wasn’t sure for a long time if I was going to get back into acting. I stayed in a lot because I didn’t know what to do with myself. But, I also realized that if I wasn’t acting, I didn’t know what I would be doing. Acting is such a large part of my life and I would feel lost if I didn’t get back out there. I couldn’t just give it up after all of this. And I had made commitments that I felt I couldn’t back out of. I didn’t want to give up. So, I got up off my couch, gave Cuesta a call and here we are.”

“So, what was training like coming off of that?”

“Not easy,” Dylan laughed. “I suffered from a lot of anxiety getting back into the swing of things. I spent eight weeks in LA with a trainer and throughout the weeks, I can’t count how many times I had a panic attack. He would pick up on when I was having a panic attack and end the session, helping me calm down. But, overall, it was good for me. It made me stronger, physically and mentally. And honestly, the accident helped me connect to Mitch on such a deeper level. I was able to understand what he went through, the pain and anguish and the anxiety that comes after a life experience like that. That connection meant so much more to me than I ever could have hoped for and I am thankful for that.”

“Well, we are definitely glad you came back,” Carla smiled. “But, I think what we want to know the most is how are you now?”

“Better,” Dylan said gratefully. “The last year hasn’t been the easiest, but I had a lot of support to get through everything. I honestly couldn’t have gotten through it without the support of my family, my friends, and…” He trailed off, glancing over at you. The thing you worried about for so long was about to be revealed. The secret you kept for so long was bound to be told publically. But, Dylan had said he wouldn’t say anything if you didn’t want it. But, you nodded at him, giving him the smile of acceptance he had waited for. “And my girlfriend, Y/N.

“I couldn’t have done this without any of them, especially her. She was there for me through… everything. She was the first thing I woke up after my accident. She was by my side no matter what. She took care of me when I couldn’t do things myself. She really was my rock, there to hold me up when I down. Y/N helped me through panic attacks and night terrors. She helped push me to get back into acting because she knew how much it meant to me. She told me one night that I would regret not getting back out there and honestly, she knows me well enough that she was absolutely right. She didn’t want me to stop what I love and I love her for that.”

“She sounds like an amazing girl.”

“She really is,” Dylan bragged. “She’s been my best friend for so long. I’ve known her for over ten years and I have been head over heels since high school for her. Even if she weren’t my girlfriend, I wouldn’t have gotten through this without her. I needed her just as much as I needed my family. The day I was leaving for London to film, I had a panic attack in the airport. Between her and my dad being there, I was able to calm down. They flew to London with me and stayed while I began the first few weeks of filming. But Y/N… yeah. She was my everything. She still is. She never once left my side. And I’m alive today because of her and her support. I love her dearly and she makes me incredibly happy. I’m lucky to have her.”

“Well, we are really glad you are ok now and back to filming,” Carla smiled.

“It’s good to be back.”

He thanked Carla for the interview, running back to your side. The second you were within reach, his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You laughed as he spun you around, your arms clinging to his neck. “Dyl! Put me down!” you screamed. You were placed down, only to find his lips on yours in a passionate kiss. It was short, but you were left smiling. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, cupcake,” he grinned. “Ready to go home? To our home? God, I love saying that.”

“Dylan, it’s been our house for a month now.”

“I know,” he mused, taking your hand in his, lacing your fingers. “But, It’s our home, babe. I’m not going to get over that.”

“You’re a dork.”

With your hands combined, you proudly left the studio with the man you loved. A guard escorted you to the car that would take you back to Dylan’s manager’s office where Dylan’s car awaited. Some fans were outside, cheering and waving at Dylan. Some were ever screaming your name, smiling at you as you passed. It felt surreal at some of his fans were finally coming around to you, even if nothing was officially said about your relationship status until today. They supported you even when you thought they wouldn’t.

Sometimes, you hated to admit Dylan was right about these things.

The ride back to the house was silent, the two of you munching on some Chipotle burritos on the way. When he parked the car, you took a second to stare up at the marvelous house he bought for the two of you after he begged you to move in with him. Literally, he had gotten on his hands and knees to ask you to move in with him roughly a year after he could properly ask you to be his girlfriend. The large house was perfect - just like him. It was everything you had imagined you wanted growing up; Dylan made it all a reality.

The sun had set by this time. Dylan opened the door for you, helping you out of the car and into the house. His hands sat on your shoulders, guiding you through the front door. He massaged them lightly, his hands a wonder against your skin. The front door was locked behind you, your shoes left in the entryway like always. Your bodies slugged forward, tired from the long day.

“I think I could sleep forever,” Dylan groaned, leading you up the stairs to your room. The light flickered on, Dylan moving from your back to strip off his shirt. “I did not miss this.”

“You’ve always hated press tours,” you teased. “You never have liked interviews and the likes.”

You pulled your own shirt over your head, leaving you in just the lacy blue bra Dylan picked for you recently. He joked that it was because it was Mets blue, but you knew he liked the way your chest looked in it. And it was comfortable, so you were all for it. A darker bit of material covered your nipples, but the tops of the cups were mesh and see through. Roses lines the top of the cups while a box rested between your breasts. It was cute and stylish while providing support. They also made your chest look plump.

Before you could find your baggy nightshirt, two arms snaked around your waist, tugging you into a warm, bare torso. Lips found their way to your neck, tender kisses left from it to your shoulder. You moaned at the careful touch, your head tilting away to allow the better access. Hot breath hit the wet skin from the countless kisses, your breathing increasing and growing ragged.

“Thank you,” Dylan breathed into your ear, nipping at the earlobe. “For everything.”

Your hands smoothed over his resting on your stomach, leaning back into his touch better. “I should be thanking you because my life would be incomplete without you,” you told him.

You turned to see him, finding Dylan staring down at you with a dark glint in his beautiful hazel eyes. In a blink, his face moved forward and he was attacking your lips with his. Sloppy, open-mouth kisses were exchanged, tongues swirling together between your cheeks. Your arm wrapped around his head, tangling in his luscious hair. It helped to keep his face pressed to yours, the loud smack of lips disconnecting and recolliding together filling your bedroom.

His hands traveled up your body, sliding under the end of your bra to grip at both of your breasts. You moaned into the kiss, squirming in his grasp. His fingers flicked at your nipples, making them harder. He fondled them lovingly, jiggling them in an uneven beat. The feeling of his hands against your chest made you ache, your backside grinding against his crotch where the very evident erection was hidden in his jeans.

You were spun in his arms, Dylan lifting you off the ground mid kiss. Your legs weaved around his waist naturally, allowing him to carry you to the bed where you were dropping remorselessly. He popped the button and pulled off your jeans swiftly before moving to hover over you. Your lips reconnected in a heated encounter, his body rolling perfectly into yours. Hips grinded together, sparking your nerve endings to go wild. Limbs tangled together in a jumble of arms and legs trying to feel up the other.

Dylan’s hands worked on your bra while you worked on his belt and jeans. The black leather belt he wore was pulled free and tossed aside with a loud clank of metal. The popped button on the black denim let the hang low to show his v-lines and the happy trail that disappeared into his Calvin Kleins. With the way you were laying, you couldn’t easily push them down. Dylan didn’t have the same issue. Your bra was across the room and his lips were on your breast before you could tell what had happened.

Your hands tugged at his hair, back arching off the bed. Your core pressed up into his covered length, the attack on your chest making it burn. Your matching panties were soaked, juices leaking down your leg. It left a wet spot on his jeans, it growing darker the more you rubbed into him. The man ravished your mounds, taking as much of the skin around your nipples as he could into his mouth. His lips and teeth tugged at it, pulling away with a pop occasionally. His tongue flicked the boisterous nipples left and right, up and down, blowing cold air until they were rock hard to the touch. They were red and ripe, swollen from the assault they were receiving. Red blotches were left between the mounds, the process repeated.

“Dyl,” you moaned, tugging at his hair. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

“Do you now?” He taunted, trailing the kisses down your stomach and along the hem of your panties. “How much do you love me?”

“So much, baby,” you cried, bucking into his face. “So much so that I want to suck your cock while you eat me out.”

Dylan choked, pushing up on his hands to look at you. “Seriously?” He questioned. “You want to sixty-nine?”

“Is that a problem?” You asked.

“No. No, no, no,” he breathed, licking his lips. “It’s really fucking hot. We’ve never done that.”

“Come on, Dyl. Be sexy and kinky for once,” you laughed. His brown rose, a smirk forming on his face.

“I can be kinky, baby. Is that what you want?” He hummed, moving up to kiss your lips. “You want to have some dirty sex with me, cupcake?”

“Yes, actually,” you mused, making him choke again. “Always have dreamt of it. When you were away filming, I would touch myself while thinking about some dirty, kinky sex with the love of my life. I came thinking about all the ways my wonderful boyfriend would please me.”

“Why am I just now being informed of this?” he growled. “I thought we had this agreement about masturbating while I was away.”

“I know. I just couldn’t help it. Finally have this man I’ve always wanted in my life and I can’t stop thinking about what I want him to do to me and what I want to do to him,” you teased. “And right now, I want him to cum down my throat.”

Forcing all of your weight onto him, you flipped Dylan onto his back, The man not bothering to protest. He inched back on the pillows enough to watch you kiss down his chest, the man squirming when you kissed at his sensitive nipples. You smiled sweetly up at him, a mischievous agenda behind your eyes. His jeans, Calvin Kleins attached, were tugged down to his ankles, his cock springing free from its confines. The long, thick length slapped his stomach proudly, twitching with its newfound freedom. The tip was red and swollen with bits of precum dripping out of it. You were tempted to leave his pants bunched around his ankles so you could have that dick in your mouth, but you knew he would whine until they were off. So, they were stripped off of hi completely, dropped off the end of the bed long forgotten.

Dylan gestured you forward with the curl of a finger, placing a kiss to your lips before you spun around on him. “I love you,” he whispered. “And I’m glad you’re mine finally.”

“I love you too, Dyl,” you hummed, kissing him again. “I always have and I always will.”

“Good. Now,” he bemused, smacking your ass to make you squeak in joyful surprise. “I suggest you turn you cute little around, put your pretty little lips around my cock while I lick your pussy until you cum on my tongue.”

“I like dirty Dyl,” you laughed, doing as he said. You nuzzled against his pulsating length, kissing up and down it. Dylan groaned, pulling you back so he could see your dripping pussy better, running a tongue through your folds. His hands kept firm holds on your legs on either side of his head, the actor wasting no time shoving his face completely in your core, tongue delved deep inside you.

You mewled, struggling to stay focused from the pleasure washing over your body. His magical tongue circled inside you, the tip massaging at your sensitive walls in search of the spots that made you scream. He normally found them easily with his cock, but his tongue was struggling; that, or he wasn’t trying hard to find it right away to prolong your delight. The more he licked at your moist center, pulling out occasionally to harshly suck at the swollen nub of your clit, the more he seeped precum that made your eyes widen and mouth water.

Your mouth wrapped around the head of his cock, hollowed cheeks sucking at it happily. Your tongue smoothed over the slit in the tip to savor the salty sweet gold he released, feeling the rough patch of the frenulum. Dylan groaned in approval, the noise vibrating your center and up your body. It pushed you to do more. Your head bobbed along his length, tracing your tongue along the pulsing veins on the underside that succeeded in drawing even more muffled noises from the man under you. The tip of his shaft hit the back of your throat, but it didn’t stop you from showering his length was affection.

His mouth stayed on your core while his fingers played with your clit, stimulating you in multiple ways. In return, you toyed with his balls, caressing them in your hand. Together, you pleased the other, moans muffled by the skin you were sucking at. Your toes curled while Dylan’s flexed, his legs tensing from the overwhelming ecstasy. Your stomach was tightening, coiled from his tongue buried deep inside you. It was burning up quickly, the smoldering fire inside you intensifying. Dylan was shaking, indicating that he was at that point.

With a snap of the fingers, you were moaning around him, your juices leaking out on his tongue. Dylan happily lapped them up, swallowing every last drop. And after two more hard sucks of your mouth, he was shooting his seed down your throat, ejaculating drop after drop onto your tongue. The strings of white cum slid down your throat in waves, not one ounce allowed to escape. When you pulled away, yu ran your tongue over your lips, making sure nothing had managed to escape.

Dylan was breathing heavily when you crawled off of him, his stubbled chin and area around his mouth glistening in the lamplight from your core. His eyes were hazy and his smile was lopsided, the entire aura screaming satisfaction. He didn’t bother to wipe his mouth clean, occasionally licking at them to taste your sweet arousal. You gave him a smile, leaning over his body to lazily kiss his lips. A breathy moan left his lips, pushing harder into it.

He groaned in disapproval when you pulled away, but the frown on his lips upturned quickly when you straddled his waist instead. Your hips rocked against his, his shaft sliding through your folds. It slickened from the roll of your hips, the tip prodding at your core, unsuccessfully sliding in every time. The man under you groaned, gripping your hips tightly.

“Come on, baby,” he scowled. “Stop teasing. God, I need to be inside you. Don’t make me wait. Show me what you got.”

“What do you want?” you asked, circling your hips over him. His mouth opened to answer, a disgruntled moan leaving in a gruff sound.

“Ride me like a fucking cowgirl,” he rasped. “I want to see you bouncing like crazy on my cock. I want to feel your tight fucking pussy hugging me while I cum inside you. I will smack your ass while you pound yourself on my cock. Fuck, baby. Just do something.”

You grinned, sliding his sock inside you with a shift of the hips. He was hilt deep in a matter of seconds, his thick shaft filling you to the brim. Placing your hands on his chest, you propped yourself on the balls of your feet, beginning to bounce on his shaft steadily. Slow at first, your pace gradually got faster, using his chest for leverage. Dylan never cared that you put weight on his chest when you started having regular sex. It allowed you to ride him better, your hips clapping together with a sweaty smack.

Dylan watched you quickly bounce on him, his cock sliding in and out of you quickly. Your breasts followed the same motion, jiggling up and down when you pushed against the balls of your feet. His shaft was wet when he emerged, covered in your arousal before he disappeared again into your depths. With his hands on your hips, he guided your motions, helping you slam against him as hard as you could. And when you had a good rhythm, Dylan would smack your ass to make you moan his name, your backside red with handprints.

Dylan tugged you forward so your chests collided, forcing you to turn onto your back so he was hovering over you. Your legs were pushed up, trapped by his arms so  your legs ended up perpendicular to the bed. The backs of your knees rested to his elbows, Dylan inching up your body so he was deeply inside you. It seemed like his cock was resting to your g-spot because you walls were spasming around him, your moans a constant stream from your mouth. His eyes were locked on yours, giving you a deep kiss before moving.

His thrusts were quick to start, slamming deeply into you. You mewled his name, clawing at his arms and back while he moved. His cock pistoned into you, your back being pounded into the mattress. Every thrust of his hips made a sweaty slapping sound that reverberated through the room. Every push into you allowed him to his your sweet spot harder enough to make you scream, rubbing against your sensitive walls with ease. Your legs bounced through the air, toes furling through the air.

“Fuck me, Dylan,” you cried, throwing your head back in the pillows. His pistoning sped up, slamming you into the mattress. His increased speed made you scream louder and more often. “Fuck! Fuck me, Dylan. Fuck me, Dylan. Fuck me, Dylan,” you chanted. His labored breathing picked up, but he didn’t stop, pushing into you as hard as he could.

“Fuck, you feel so good, cupcake,” he groaned. “So tight and warm. You feel so good. Shit, I can’t wait to fill you with my cum.”

His angle and depth, his speed and power - everything made the knot inside you twist into a million tiny coils before exploding. Deep claw marks shredded at his back throughout your orgasm, his shoulder blades red as you came. Your juices splashed around his length, splattering against your walls and coating his cock. His thrusts became slick, squishing to mix with the scream, the hip smacks, and the heavy breaths.

Dylan leaned down to kiss you one last time, unable to contain his orgasm that he had been chasing. With a muffled grunt that vibrated his throat, he spilled his seed into you. Strings of hot, white arousal seeped into you, ixing with the fluids you released around him. His thrusts slowed, remaining solely so you could ride out your highs. Your tight walls that were once spasming around him clung to every inch of his length, milking the last of his juices into you.

Dylan dropped your legs, rolling off of you onto his side of the bed. Both of you just laid flat, catching your breaths from the rigorous activities. Dylan turned his head to glance at you, you turned to glance at him. Without explanation, you both burst out laughing, rolling towards each other. His arm draped over your waist, tugging you closer to him.

“God, I love you,” he whispered, kissing your forehead. “Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be lying here with you now, calling you mine. I’m just so glad that we could be here now.”

“I love you too, Dyl,” you hummed, kissing his lips softly. “I can’t tell you how stupid I was for pushing you away for so long.”

“It’s fine, cupcake,” he said, playing with your hair. “I get it. My fans… they’re crazy sometimes. But, they will accept you because you are the perfect girl for me. They can’t keep me from loving you. They don’t make the decisions for us. I chose you, Y/N L/N, because you are the most amazing woman I know. You have always been there for me when I’ve needed you. You are my best friend and my girlfriend and my lover and…” he paused, kissing you softly. “No one will tell us who we can be or what our relationship is. All I know is that you were meant to be mine and I am never letting you go again.”

“I’m still sorry,” you murmured. “I hurt you so much. I never should have let them get to me.”

“Babe, it’s fine,” he said. “It’s the past and you are mine.”

“But-”

“No,” he claimed, rolling on top of you. He peppered your face with kisses, making you laugh. “No buts. You are an amazing woman and I will fight you.”

“Did you just say that?” you laughed, shaking your head. Dylan grinned before rolling off of you. His naked behind scurried away to the dresser, rummaging through it for a pair of socks. You watched hi in confusion until he returned with a pair of fuzzy Mets socks he rare wore. His half limp dick flounced with his steps, but he was uncaring to what you saw. Plopping himself back on the bed, he pulled you into his chest while his back rest against the headboard. The blankets were pulled up over your laps, your chests exposed.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” he started.

“About socks?” you joked. “Didn’t know you thought so hard about socks, baby.”

“Shush,” he scolded. “Just let me talk, dork brain.”

“Fine, fine.”

Dylan took a deep breath, taking you hand briefly. “Y/N, you are my best friend. You are my girlfriend. You are the girl I have loved for so long. I’m glad I can call you my own. You have been there for me through everything and I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for you. After my accident, I was so glad that you were there when I awoke. You gave me hope that everything would be ok.”

You glanced up at the man, concerned slightly. “What are you getting at, Dyl?”

“I’m getting to that!” he laughed. “What I’m trying to say is that I love you. I love you with everything I have. I love you today, I will love you tomorrow and I will love you for all of eternity. And, I wasn’t planning to do this right now, but, my parents told me to do it when it felt right. And it does.”

Slowly, from the socks he had grabbed, he pulled out a black, velvet box that made you heart stop. Your eyes were the size of golf balls. Inside the box was a diamond ring in the shape of a rose.

“Y/N, I want to spend the rest of my life with you because no one else can tell us who we can be with. We decide what the future holds for us, and mine is with you. So, please, Y/N L/N, will you be my wife?”

You gaped at the ring, making Dylan nervous.

“Please answer me,” he whimpered quietly.

Swallowing, you nodded, tears springing to your eyes. “Yes, Dylan. I will marry you.”

Dylan smiled, taking the ring from the box and sliding it on your finger. It fit perfect and once it was in place, he kissed it repeatedly. He turned to look up at you, finding you staring at him. He leaned up, connecting your lips in a heated embrace. Smiles were hidden in it, the love filling the room.

When you pulled away, he whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you replied. “Now, I’m hungry. Can we order take out?”

Dylan cracked up laughing, burying his face in your neck. “You’re impossible.”

“I know.”

Errthang Tag 2.0: @catcrown21; @voidkitsune24; @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone; @savage-stilinski; @twilightparker; @rumoured-whispers; @youshiverwhenyouhearmyname; @caitsymichelle13; @addicttotw; @fox-lau; @xmadwonderland; @kaelyn-lobrutto24; @lobrien; @kal-pal; @espermirror; @nowthisiswaar; @belleknows; @ashpie97; @mixedupsammy; @dylobrienlover; @newtosaur250; @bandsweyhey; @offthewallspidey; @livinginadreamersparadise; @tommyswolves; @ashotofblues; @bilesbilinskix; @danathewitchywoman; @thisismexxo; @you-all-have-guns; @soulaura-canavel; @bojabee; @obrienswxlf; @feelingsareharddd; @xoitsjustmexo;@supernaturaltakeover; @suggsmate; @cassiee867; @spooky-lara-stilinski; @barryallenplease; @herscrunchiehairtie; @bottleoffirewhisky; @jadalecki-jackles; @evansesdust; @everythingthatisrandom; @puppiesarehappiness; @ixlovexpeterxparker; @onlyalittleteenwolfobsessed; @tenseoyong; @jadav5; @mischiefandi; @myrandomzshit; @disbestiles; @mxtchsbxtch; @dafine18; @avadakedabitch; @girlwiththerubyslippers; @xpinkyprincess; @ssweet-empowerment; @jackles-jadalecki; @dobseventeen; @dylnobrien1911, @redstringlovers; @brien-odylan @xxxxdelenaxxxx; @katlovey14; @deajm2116; @loverofwaytoomanythings618;  @megreadss; @nooneelsethandacre; @dvlob

[jichew]

college!hyunsuk au♡part one

a/n: hello!!! this is my first fic on here so please go easy on me bc it’s kind of slow and long :,) I rushed it a bit bc i wanted to get it up before the last episode airs :/// also feel free to leave requests or just drop in to talk! i would love more ygtb mutuals! (also i was going to make this a full on lovers au but it got too long so i just left it like this, but if i get enough requests, i will be more than willing to make a part 2!)

so you’re a freshman at college(✿◠‿◠)

while you’re absolutely in love with what college has to offer,,,,you’re dreading the start of classes

esp when it’s your first semester and you have no idea how to navigate the campus

and that, my friends, is how you realize it will take 15 minutes to get to a 9 AM that starts in 10 minutes (a/n this is a true story lol)

and while you could easily just skip this class and call it a day, you are A GOOD STUDENT ＼＼\\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

so you double knot your shoelaces and run across that mf campus

thankfully, you make it right as the clock hits 9... though you didn’t realize that this was a 300 student general chem lecture

it really b like that sometimes y/n ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

so you’re left to slide into one of the rows at the very back of the hall, which is thankfully empty

...

save for the mop of blonde hair that is passed out in the seat next to you

of course, you don’t have the time to pay attention to the boy beside you because you’re prof has already started lecturing

before you know it, class is over

surprisingly enough, at 9:50 on the dot, the boy shoots his head up, ruffles his hair, grabs his backpack and briskly exits the lecture hall room, sparing you a brief nod

if you weren’t stressed enough that you have 20 minutes to grab breakfast and run back across campus for class, maybe you would have taken time to notice how cute the boy was - but you have a class to get to

so fast fwd two days,,, you’re basically a pro at this whole college thing

or so you thought

you find your self double knotting your shoelaces again and running across campus to reach your 9 AM chem lecture again

at this point,,,you’ve accepted your fate and you dejectedly slide next to the passed out boy in the back row

so now that this is your second class, you’re prof is actually lecturing (and blondie beside u is still asleep)

after a grueling hour of basic chem review,   you have about three pages of notes

and it isn’t until 5 minutes before you’re dismissed that blondie finally takes the time to wake up

you resist the urge to giggle seeing his slightly frazzled state - hair puffed out, half lidded eyes and pouty lips (✿´ ꒳ ` )

and maybe you would have,,,if he didn’t hurriedly look over at you and ask if he could borrow your notes

and as much as you despise people who don’t pay attention in class and ask for other peoples’ notes ,,,,, who are you to resist those puppy dog eyes                    

。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

so,,,, you reluctantly hand him over the notes

but not without giving him a piece of your mind ＼＼\\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

“don’t forget to bring them back next class,,,and maybe a coffee too so you can stay awake”( ◠‿◠ )

y/n, you really are too nice

so it’s finally friday,,,,but you have that cursed 9 am yet again

and while you’re able to make it early this time around, you willingly sit in the back row

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and much to your surprise,,, in comes blondie, fully awake, an iced coffee in each hand

he moves into his seat beside you, setting down one of the coffees on your desk

“i don’t really know what girls like, so i just decided to get you the same thing as me! as a thank you for letting me borrow your notes”

speaking of notes, he quickly sets down his coffee and his backpack and takes out your notes, setting those on your desk as well

and this whole time, you’re just like,,,,,,,,, (●´ω｀●)

and he’s staring at u with this goofy smile on his face like,,,,(๑･̑◡･̑๑)

if it were socially acceptable, you would have squished his little cheeks right then and there

but all you can manage to get out is a small smile, mumbling an “anytime” under your breath

and as much as you enjoy the company of another person in this large lecture hall,,,blondie talks a lot

but also you can’t bring yourself to mind bc he’s not all that bad at chem (and he looks cute when he talks with his lips all pouty but don’t tell him you said that(๑>◡<๑))

so it’s been about a month at college and you’re actually getting the hang of things this time

also,,,blondie has officially stopped falling asleep in class

surprisingly, you both have become quite the pair ٩( ᐛ )و

you learned that his name is hyunsuk, he’s a sophomore, and he’s part of a dance team (hence why he can’t help but fall asleep during chem lecture)

while you guys don’t interact outside of class, it’s nice to have someone to make small talk with in the morning

and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to boop his cute nose on several occasions (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

so while studies are great and all,,,,it’s been a month and you have done next to nothing besides stressing over classes and sleeping

so, your friends (yes y/n, you do have friends) decided to have a little gno to celebrate surviving a month of college

shimmying into a pair of black jeans, a cute top, jean jacket and some heels, you’re ready to TAKE ON THE TOWN

and like not to brag but u look hot

you really know how to strut your stuff y/n

so when ur friends were like gno!!!! you expected something cute like going to get dinner in the city or something

you did NOT expect to find yourself in a frat party

like,,,,,you’ve never been to one of those cheap high school parties much less a college frat party

so like,you’re kind of freaking out inside bc tight areas filled with sweaty bodies and the stench of alcohol are NOT your thing

(　˙-˙　)

your friend mina is like,,,

“come on y/n, it’s part of the college experience!!!”

but you’re like,,,

“the only experience i need is sleeping past my alarm” ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

nonetheless, mina resorts to dragging you into the house

so somehow, you guys make it to the kitchen

and while you’re still against the idea of being here, at least it’s slightly more breathable in the kitchen

while u can finally breathe, you also realize mina is GONE

u quickly scan the kitchen and thankfully find her ,,,,, w some tall dinosaur looking dude??

she motions you over so you slide through some bodies to make your way over to the pair

“y/n!!! this is my friend byounggon! he owns this place!”

“hey, you can call me gon!”

the dude does a little nod and smiles at you ,,, and then u notice how close him and mina are actually standing next to each other

her hand on his arm...the little smile he gives her...

and you’re like

“OH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

“you know,,,i’ll leave you guys to hang out for a bit while i go explore the place”

but not so fast,,,you have friends who care about your safety :,)

gon is all like

“no wait! mina told me this was your first party so i’ll have one of my frat brothers watch over you”

he turns his head back calling out a name that’s unintelligible over the sound of the music playing throughout the house

“y/n! this is my friend -“

“HYUNSUK???”

“Y/N!!!”

obviously you’re a bit startled to see the blonde boy in a setting that’s not the chem lecture hall

and maybe you’re even more startled by how good he looks - silk shirt, silver jewelry littering his ears and hair styled

and maybe he thinks the same with the way his eyes briefly glaze over your full body

but ,,,, mina and gon:??????

“you guys know each other?”

you’re the first to snap out of your reverie, hyunsuk’s eyes still glued to you

“uhh yeah we sit next to each other in chem lecture”

gon: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“ahhh...so you’re THAT y/n”

“THAT y/n”

“yeah, it means -“

“NOTHING”

(hyunsuk’s quick to interrupt when he’s about to get exposed (¬_¬))

“he means nothing lol”

anyway,,,gon’s like “yeah so we’ll leave you guys to it”

and you’re just looking back in dejection bc ur friends left u :,(((

when you turn back around hyunsuk has a bit of an apologetic look on his face

“first party?” he cocks his head to the side , puppy dog eyes waiting for an answer

“yeah,,,, i never really took you for the frat boy type”

hyunsuk does a little boyish smirk before saying

“there’s a lot things you don’t know about me babe”

and then he’s lightly grabbing your wrist and taking you to god knows where

the next thing you know, you guys are out on a balcony

and you’re like

\( ˆoˆ )/ fresh air!!!!

hyunsuk: (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

so you’re just like

staring at the sky

and u feel a little gaze boring into the side of your head

so you look over to see hyunsuk staring at you with his head cocked to the side

and he has this little smile on his lips

and you have no clue why he’s smiling but it makes your tummy do ~that thing~

but ALSO ,,, you’re trying to play it cool

so you cock your head back at him

and he stares at you for a little longer

and GIGGLES

THIS BOY HAS THE AUDACITY TO GIGGLE AT YOU

DOESNT HE KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO A GIRL’S HEART

hshsbahaheiskeksoal

“why are you giggling??”

he does a little shrug and looks over at you

“you’re cute”

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

lmao he really just had to take all your uwus

the moment kind of ends when you get a text from mina saying she went home w gon,,,

you both know what that means( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

but also now you don’t have a ride back to your dorm

i mean you probably guessed what’s going to happen now

gentleman suk decides to walk you back to your dorm

despite it being chilly, it’s still a nice walk

you both walk in a comfortable silence,, heads turned to avoid the other seeing the  little smile on each’s face

and you don’t say anything when you feel the tips of hyunsuk’s warm fingers entangling into your own

and he doesn’t say anything when you bid him goodnight with a kiss on the cheek

and you know that you have more than friendly feelings for the sleepy blondie in your chem class

[japanessie]

MY FIRST STORY MMA Tour Final The Premium Symphony 2017 in retrospect

On 23rd December 2017, MY FIRST STORY made another milestone by performing at the same venue which was supposed to have been the place where their rival brother band ONE OK ROCK was originally scheduled to perform with Linkin Park in November. Looking at the visuals presented to us so far, it was a roaring success.

Photos by Masanori Fujikawa and Taka Tallman except *

Here are my thoughts .... for my reader who requested. Basically a continuation of what I had said in a previous post before.

1. The stage looks like something inspired by Jules Verne novels combined with the Parthenon. 

That’s impressive!!

Then, similar to OOR, they also used a runway heading out to the audience. OOR normally use this for their acoustic set where the band members would gather together with their instruments. MFS used the end platform for Hiro where the digital piano was mechanically raised from below the stage. For a rectangular concert hall, you have to have this kind of setting for the audience's optimal viewing.

Look at the laser lighting! It was among the elements that worried the s**t out of their boss GEN back in the Shinkiba Studio Coast show because it was expensive. But looks like he’s not worried anymore based on this elaborate display.

Ready to go “Around The World In 80 Days” or “20,000 Leagues Under The Sea”! XD

2. The attendance at Makuhari was higher than the Budokan.

From the TV clips shared by Japanese fans, 18,000 people came compared to 12,000 for the Budokan. Reading through fans' reports, it looked like Blocks A & B were the most packed or the crowds consisted of the hardcore fans. One girl in Block B said she wished she could transfer to Block C where she could breathe.

Looking at the crowd placement, I started to feel doubtful whether choosing a seated ticket for this venue is worth it for someone like me (154cm tall) because unlike the multi-tiered Budokan or the Makuhari Event Hall, the Makuhari Hall 9-11 are flat. They're exhibition Halls after all. How high were the seats raised from the main floor if they were raised at all?

* Photo: Makuhari Messe Hall 9-11 when empty. Making me wish that it had a premium ceiling seat XD

3. It was MFS first attempt at using a full orchestra + a full choir

When they first announced the MMA Tour Final, they said this would be MFS as we had never seen them before. The ALL SECRET TRACKS album obviously had been arranged for this. The Live was not named The Premium Symphony for nothing. To me MFS music from the start has always been heavily layered. It was inevitable that they would arrive at this point.

Photo: The moment the curtain came down. Aaaahhhh!!! That’s 終焉レクイエム (Shuuen Requiem) making its debut everyone \(^^)/

  When MFS did the acoustic set for Itsuwari NEUROSE Final at Shinkiba Studio Coast, my mind actually wondered whether they would one day tackle the violin-cello string arrangements. Would have been slammed with the "OOR copy" moniker big time if they did it back then, wouldn't they? The difference is MFS actually created songs with orchestration right on their album rather than pick a few songs and re-arranged them with a string section for the Live show.

You know what’s beautiful about the above photo? The backup musicians were smiling as they looked at the band members giving it all. Despite the different genres they come from, all artists know passion when they see it.

4. The Surprising setlist :-o

More like shocking to me!

The most striking thing about the setlist is the fact that they had excluded their signature Live songs Second Limit, The Story Is My Life, 最終回STORY and Awake :-o. Seriously?? WTF! You know what this means??! This means they were signalling the beginning of a new era. Up to this point, an MFS show would not be complete without those songs. This is them presenting the fans the new-phase MFS!

The Setlist

1. 終焉レクイエム (Shuuen Requiem) 2. ALONE 3. Black Rail 4. 悪戯フィクション (Itazura Fiction) 5. Missing You 6. REVIVER 7. この世界で一番の幸せ者にはする事など出来ないかもしれないけど... (Kono sekai de ichiban no shiawasesha ni wa suru koto nado dekinai kamoshirenai kedo...) 8. 失踪FLAME (Shissou FLAME) 9. See you again 10. Love Letter 11. monologue 12. 虚言NEUROSE (Itsuwari NEUROSE) 13. LET IT DIE 14. "BOOM" 15. Zero Gravity 16. The Puzzle 17. CHiLD -error- 18. Tomorrowland 19. モノクロエフェクター (Monochrome Effector) 20. 不可逆リプレイス (Fukagyaku Replace)

(Encore)

-Nori Ohtani marriage proposal- EN1. 「花」 -0714- (Hanarenai yo) EN2. Merry Christmas EN3. REVIVER

While I understand their wish to move forward with their music, it's sad for me to see 最終回STORY go because that's the song through which I fell in love with MFS (T_T). 

5. Hiro debuted his piano solo performance

My wish came true \(^^)/! Back in 2014 when MFS released their Taylor Swift remake We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, I told another fan on my friend's MFS FB fanpage that I hoped to see Hiro perform with a piano. 

I guess it wasn't the right timing for it then because it was the time when Hiro was still so heavily criticized and ridiculed as being Taka's copycat. Hiro with a piano onstage would be a bad move a few years ago. Nowadays, the comparison with his famous brother is much kinder as MFS music is speaking for itself more and more. So I think Hiro picked the right time to finally do it.

By the way, Hiro played See You Again solo. For Love Letter, he played solo halfway and then joined by the others. Can’t wait to see these (^^)

6. Hiro’s vocal performance

You see this one coming. My MFS concert commentary wouldn’t be complete without me talking about Hiro’s vocals, would it? True that I wasn’t there at the Hall BUT I have come to the point were I can slowly trust him to nail it around 90 to 95%. While I wasn’t expecting perfection, I know Hiro had worked really hard as he was confident enough to again include the song I directly and openly criticised him for through the band’s social media back in 2016, 失踪FLAME . Though they did not respond to me directly but Hiro did acknowledge on STORYTELLER that the song was hard.

When I saw this visual for 失踪FLAME , I felt good because I knew he still kept his determination to get that song right. I believe he handled it well. He wouldn’t have made this visual display if he couldn’t do the song right, could he (^_-)?

7. Former drummer Masaki came (^^)

Their friendship remains solid and Masaki once again showed that he wouldn't miss his former bandmates' big moment for the world. He tweeted saying it had been awhile since he went to see them, how awesome the show was, apologizing that he was giving an impression of an elementary schoolkid’s excitement and then attached his old photo wearing his underwear with producer Nori with a congratulatory message. Because that’s the only two-shot photo he ever had with Nori XD

8. "Men In Black" (^^)

Who wasn't taken by the fact that the band performed fully in suits? 

I think rather than setting themselves apart from the backup orchestra + choir members, the look they chose tied the whole thing together. The formally attired orchestra + the choir that coloured the overall feel of ALL SECRET TRACKS and their visually impactful LET IT DIE MV from ALL LEAD TRACKS. It was "MFS The Premium Symphony" and not "MFS with some guest musicians for some songs".

Oh, yes. To me Teruki Nishizawa is the most dashing of them all in black suits. They’re all cute guys but Teru actually has that “prep school + white collar” aura which transcends well with that outfit. I don’t think I’m biased at all. Just look.

9. Hiro & Blouson Chiemi

I'm a bit blurry with this one, did he do something like her comedy skit onstage or what? I saw a few Japanese fans mentioning her name along with Hiro’s. Knowing that Hiro likes her, I was hardly surprised. But MFS always edited out extra things like this when the concerts went to DVDs. So, if he ever impersonated any celebrity at all, it probably wouldn't go on the official release (-_-)

But at least we had seen Hiro posing like her during VAMPS Halloween Party 2017 XD

*Photo: From BREAKERZ Daigo’s blog

10. Sho Tsuchiya did not perform with them this time

Though he did appear here and there on the MMA Tour, he did not perform at the Final as I previously had expected. Well, they already played up his surprise appearance to the MAX at the Budokan. Anyway, I'm glad I wasn't at the Budokan because I swear I would have pissed in my pants the moment I saw his face on the screen XD. But it wouldn't have the same impact doing it the 2nd time around, eh? The only way Sho’s re-appearance can top the Budokan is if they actually announce him coming back to them.

* Photo from iTony Entertainment (it’s JMS subsidiary too!)

11. The biggest surprise of the night ..... Nori's getting married!

Their producer Nori Ohtani proposed to his girlfriend and after which, the band launched into their wedding anthem 「花」 -0714- . The fans, including yours truly XD, flooded the band's social media with messages congratulating him and wishing him well.

My thought :

Dating a rock band's manager / producer has its perk, eh? If things go well, you may get an epic marriage proposal with an orchestra, a choir and 18,000 eye witnesses too XD

Overall

One fan commented on IG that after watching the Makuhari show, the Tokyo Dome now doesn't seem like a dream anymore. I agree with her. I mean, if a band or any artist can hold a packed show at a venue like Makuhari Messe, with glowing reports and feedback afterwards, then the Tokyo Dome is not a dream but already a given.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 24/10/2020 (Digga D, Justin Bieber, benny blanco)

Internet Money’s “Lemonade” featuring Don Toliver, NAV and Gunna finally hit #1 on the UK Singles Chart, and that’s today’s #1. Anyone else find it funny that NAV has a #1 hit in, well, any country? Anyway, welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

A lot of our new arrivals from yesterday are gone entirely, including “Parlez-Vous Anglais” by Headie One featuring Aitch, mostly because only the three highest-performing songs from an artist can be in the chart at one time, so “Only You Freestyle” with Drake returned at #44. As well as that, other notable drop-outs from the UK Top 75 are “Mr. Right Now” by 21 Savage and Metro Boomin featuring Drake, “5AM” by M Huncho and Nafe Smallz exiting pretty prematurely, “Over Now” by Calvin Harris and the Weeknd, “Wishing Well” by the late Juice WRLD lasting longer than I expected, and “Heaven on My Mind” by Becky Hill and Segala. The biggest fall for the week is “Laugh Now Cry Later” by Drake and Lil Durk getting hit with the streaming cut down from #18 and #42 and the biggest is for last week’s debut “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra up from #53 to #39. The only other returning entry we have is that garbage “Papi Chulo” song by Octavian and Skepta back for seemingly no reason. That doesn’t mean we don’t have 11 new arrivals, though, so let’s get started.

NEW ARRIVALS

#69 – “Train Wreck” – James Arthur

Produced by Adam Argyle

X Factor winner and insecure homophone who somehow pissed Frankie Boyle off on Twitter in 2012 James Arthur is back with his latest single since his first comeback album which was surprisingly successful, even stateside, mostly because of soppy, unlistenable ballad “Say You Won’t Let Go”. So, what’s to be expected out of this frog-voiced adult contemporary lad today? Well, apparently this is actually not his latest single choice for that lead off of the fourth album and rather just a deep cut from his 2016 album Back from the Edge. It’s the sixth track on the album, it’s four years old and never had a single push so I can only assume... TikTok? I don’t know, I think everyone’s feeling like this year’s been a bit of a train wreck so is the song good? I don’t know, I think his belting is impressive but pretty aggravating with only the soft piano backing and it does sound like he’s straining himself a bit here. The pouring out of his emotions during the dark place he was in between 2013 and 2016 is pretty effective and admittedly I feel kind of bad for the guy but, man, you can tell this is the first song he wrote for the album as it feels pretty underwritten, with a lot of reliance on that chorus, which is powerful but not nearly enough as he wants it to be. He explores a religious angle in the first verse that goes absolutely nowhere. Looking at the comments on the Genius page and ignoring the ones saying “This is epic” or “Anyone here from Harry Potter TikToks?”, I can tell it’s helping people and if this really is impactful to his audience then all fairness to him, it does its job. I’m just not a fan.

#68 – “Heat Waves” – Glass Animals

Produced by Dave Bayley

I swear “trainwreck” and “heatwave” are usually one word. Huh. Glass Animals are an indie-pop project fronted by Dave Bayley and I’ve never felt the need to look into them, and whilst I always assumed they were big – especially this recent third album which did big numbers to mixed reception – I didn’t think they were “chart in the top 100” big, especially not too months after the album release when another single is clearly being pushed. It has got a couple remixes though, particularly a Diplo one, so I guess this is a good time to first check Bayley and co out. Maybe my definition of “psychedelic pop” is different to Pitchfork’s (who didn’t even like this album) but I didn’t expect pitch-shifted vocals put against trap instrumentals and 808s that drown out all of the musicality that goes into the watery synths and guitar picking under the pretty rough vocals here, saved by some cool melodic ideas and multi-tracking that sounds pretty good in the verses. That chorus is lazy and quickly loses its lustre though, and it is not nearly climactic enough for that point in the bridge where its cuts out and returns to work or have any impact at all. The lyrics are pretty fluffy and non-descript, apart from the refrain of “Road shimmer wigglin’ the vision”... okay, I understand why you pitch-shifted that one. Yeah, this is pretty garbage, as are these remixes, although admittedly I kind of enjoy Diplo’s future bass rendition. You can’t do much to make a badly-written song sound interesting as an EDM remixer. I listened to that “Space Ghost Coast to Coast” song out of curiosity and... just because your “ayys” sound more like “ehs” doesn’t mean your trap-rap is suddenly art pop. Also:

“Space Ghost Coast To Coast” combines bits and pieces of millennial childhood nostalgia with musings on school shootings.

Joy. Next.

#67 – “PMW” – M Huncho and Nafe Smallz

Produced by Quincy Tellem

The drill MF DOOM (in aesthetic, not ability) and some nasal-voiced idiot who is not selling himself well with that stage name make a collaborative album produced by Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em. Here’s their ode to Profit Margins and Wages. Okay, it’s just them trading bars over an actually pretty damn good trap beat, with a killer choral vocal sample and some skittering hi-hats with a high enough pace that it makes Nafe Smallz seem mildly engaged. M Huncho sounds fine here, but the chorus here is pretty rough for both of them, and it just sounds really awkward. I do like Nafe’s second verse here, the flows he uses are pretty catchy and he sounds alive for once. What do you expect me to say about this though? They don’t rap anything interesting, the trap beat is good but not particularly interesting and the performances are mildly entertaining at best. It’s not nearly as amusing as the last single I liked from Huncho, “Pee Pee”. I’m not surprised this didn’t debut very high, and I guess it’ll drop off next week like nothing ever happened.

#65 – “One More Time” – Not3s featuring AJ Tracey

Produced by Eyes Adoasi and Remedee

Well, this duo have worked together a bunch of times before, and are undeniably preferable to M Huncho and Nafe Smallz, even if I’m not necessarily a big fan of either artist. This seems to be a lead-off single for Not3s’ third record as well as an interpolation of Britney Spears’ “...Baby One More Time” with a pretty cute pitch-shifted female vocal acting as the main melody for the track... and, yeah, this is what I expect from AJ Tracey. There’s an obvious UK garage flavour to the track – it does feel like a modernised throwback – and AJ’s spitting pretty competently, even if his flow is pretty basic and at times janky. Not3s is even more janky in the pre-chorus but the harmonising on the chorus and flow on the second verse is pretty damn impressive and dare I say charming. If he wants to go into this smooth R&B-rap direction on this type of UK garage beat I approve fully and I would be excited for that upcoming album. It kind of reminds me of Jeremih, to be completely honest, and I’m not sure exactly where I get that comparison but he sounds great. The beat does feel like it stagnates, especially during AJ’s verse actually – it might be the weak link stopping this from becoming great – but it doesn’t overstay its welcome and the 8-bit sound effects during AJ’s verse do stop this from being boring, though I still prefer a fair few of AJ’s other singles, like “Kiss and Tell” with Skepta which the song immediately reminded me of. It could have actually done with no guest verse but I know Not3s needs that promo so I’m not complaining about this. I hope to see it in the top 40 soon.

#62 – “Perkosex” – D-Block Europe

Produced by Gwiz and Roki

“Perkosex”. Wow, and I thought these guys couldn’t get dumber. We have a third DBE album cut this week and I’m already impressed by the awful pun in the title and the fact that this is literally taken from a YouTube producer’s (FREE) Calboy/Polo G type beat. Classy. This is a more downbeat song for the duo, with two verses, kind of. In fact, there’s no chorus, just one verse from Dirtbike LB who actually starts off the song with some spoken word and pathetic “Ski” ad-libs – leave that to Young Adz, who fragments his verse with a pointless and awkward bridge, as if his verse didn’t fill up that quota anyway. We have an acoustic guitar, pitched-up vocal sample that comes in to waste time every so often, and actually cuts Adz’s verse in two. Both LB and Adz croon and mumble, barely staying on the beat, with Adz mumbling so much on his first part of the verse that I initially thought this was just an outro to a song that lasted one and a half minutes, but, no, there’s an extra minute to go and Adz adz nothing to the track that needed that second half of the verse. Neither of the rappers are any funny here, but at least LB compares his friends to terrorists and says he’s got shots in his mouth like a peppermint... I mean, he sounds more mentally stable than he usually does on these songs, I guess. The second half of that Adz verse starts off with either him barely staying on-topic or just a complete plot twist.

You signed up for a drug dealer, not a drug user

And the next line:

And one of my toxic traits is that I love too much

Again, classy. This is crap even by their standards and just straight boring. It won’t go anywhere, but knowing my luck it might be the Christmas #1. Next.

#60 – “Someone to You” – BANNERS

Produced by KOZ

More “indie pop” debuting on the charts, although this one is directly off of the success of Love, Victor, a Hulu original series based on the film Love, SImon that used it in its soundtrack and hence it’s here on the chart. This song has been on three of this guy’s EPs and is actually all the way back from 2017 so, yeah, we have some old cuts here. I have absolutely nothing to say about the song though. Sure, I appreciate the vocal harmonies in the post-chorus and the organic drumming but the vaguely folkish guitar sounds pretty trite, as do the hand-claps and the incredibly generic mish-mash of love song clichés in all of the lyrics here. I’m reminded of a lighter Biffy Clyro that happens to be from Liverpool instead of Scotland and, you know, have no grit or interesting songwriting to back the enthusiastic vocal delivery and repetitive, exhausting chorus. I’m not into this at all, it just reeks of a lack of effort or unique character to it. And I’m safe to assume that about this next song...

#59 – “You’re Mines Still” – Yung Bleu

Produced by Nate Rhoads

This song got big because of Drake on the remix and thank God for that because this Juice WRLD rip-off could never stand on his two feet anyway. The fake attempt at a half-hearted British accent drenched in Auto-Tune is an immediate turn-off – the dude’s from Alabama and sounds like he’s vaguely imitating an Afroswing singer – but so is this incredibly low-effort trap beat with barely anything other than a Sting sample from the exact song “Lucid Dreams” sampled, and it’s not like this is an uncommon flip, coincidence or even a sample that hasn’t been used in a bunch of rap tracks before. Watch out, Yung Bleu, or else Sting will try and sue your ass on BS counts of “plagiarism” until you tragically die young or get a Drake stimulus package big enough for you to pay off royalties and fines for copyright infringement. In fact, I’m convinced that’s the only reason Drake hopped onto the remix so he and his massive bank account can settle the incoming lawsuit and pay the legal fees for this guy, because he doesn’t contribute anything worthwhile to this trash either. Jesus, this is bad.

#58 – “Happiness” – Little Mix

Produced by TMS

We don’t have that album yet, but we have another low-charting promotional single, I guess, now that the last one dropped off from the chart entirely... last week. Little Mix are now noticing that maybe they really cannot perform that well without Syco so I guess they’re just throwing as many bricks as D-Block Europe claim to be selling and hoping one of them fits into the wall. I don’t mind the song for all it’s worth, to be honest, I mean it’s more of a fast-paced dance-pop song about love I can appreciate with some pretty great vocal performances from the girls here, especially who I think are Leigh-Anne and Jade. The chorus hits pretty hard and the fusion of 808s and trap skitters on the verses with a killer UK garage-inspired drum loop on the chorus... yeah, I can actually endorse this, albeit with some hesitation, especially since the bridge is literally just like 10 seconds of vocal riffing, which makes the song feel somewhat underwritten even if that final chorus, especially the lead-up to it, is pretty amazing and genuinely surprised me on my first listen. This is good, and honestly a lot better than I expected from Little Mix, so check it out if you’re interested, although sadly I doubt this’ll stick.  

#29 – “Hold” – Chunkz and Yung Filly

Produced by Ransom Beatz

I can say the same about this, now that we’re in the top 40 here (first for both artists), mostly because Chunkz is pretty much a YouTube comedian and looking at these lyrics, there are now jokes. There is some ugly Auto-Tuned crooning over a pretty flat Afroswing beat and Chunkz’s delivery is similarly flat and it’s obvious he’s a comedian. You can just tell when rappers are also comedians and this guy definitely makes that obvious in his half-hearted “upbeat” delivery that sounds like a satire, but the problem is again that there are NO JOKES. Is the “airplane mode” line a joke? The use of the word “investments”? The egregious Spanish in the second verse? This weak-sauce instrumental? If any of these are jokes or an attempt at comedy, please let me stand corrected because I don’t know if Chunkz was chuckling to himself writing but none of this is funny or even entertaining. It’s pretty telling that the Genius page gave up on trying to distinguish the two rappers as well. Next.

#19 – “Lonely” – Justin Bieber and benny blanco

Produced by benny blanco and FINNEAS

Why is benny blanco credited as a lead artist while FINNEAS isn’t? Huh. Well, Justin’s back and leaving whatever the hell Changes was earlier this year right behind him, focusing on more introspective and personal tracks like... “Holy”, I guess. Well, for what it’s worth, this is better than “Holy” by quite a bit. It’s a pretty minimal ballad with some nice work on the keys from benny and egregious profanity from Bieber in the chorus. I do like the content though, and how he delves into Bieber’s regrets in his past, especially in the second verse although I feel like he misses the point here or at least doesn’t go in-depth enough for me to fully comprehend his view on the situation. They criticised things you did as an idiot kid because they were insensitive, immoral and at some times illegal, not because you were a child. Sure, the media and the press can be antagonistic, especially to easy targets – hell, it’s worse here than in the US or Canada – but it’s not entirely clear in the short verse here that he’s not just deflecting blame onto the “haters”. I do like how he talks about the downs that come with having so much wealth and fame at a young age and no idea on what to do with it other than reckless leisure activities and raking in the fandom’s love whilst he continues to drink-drive and lose his pet monkey, which he shouldn’t have had in the first place. He also talks about how the paparazzi and Internet comment trolls viewed his pictures of him with Lyme disease and immediately assumed he was doing drugs, which can be similarly said for Chadwick Boseman, who died earlier this year due to complications related to colon cancer at age 43. Yeah, this one digs pretty deep but I still feel like it could have used a third verse, especially since while Bieber claims to cite his wife Hailey Baldwin as his “saviour” this is his third or fourth time painting himself as the “comeback” of Bieber but now a more mature man, and none of those attempts have really succeeded so this seems kind of desperate on his behalf. Sigh, the song’s fine and honestly I appreciate it for what it tries to do but it falls short here and lacks the real dagger in the heart moment personally revealing songs about fame like this should have, although I’d admit it gets close. Now for our final entry, which has considerably less to talk about...

#18 – “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” – Digga D

Produced by ItchyDaProducer

Chingy? As in “Right Thurr”, “Holidae Inn” Chingy? Huh. From one look at the chorus, it just seems to be another threat but hey, Digga D’s back. I’m not sure if anyone wanted him back but here he is. He released an album last year. This wasn’t on it. I can’t actually remember this guy at all; I assumed this was DigDat so I expected some quality – I mean, no drill lyric can beat “white like Peter, brown like Cleveland” – but no, it’s Digga D, who made a song with Russ Splash last year that got in the top 40. I remember reviewing it, I remember not thinking much of it at the time. I don’t think much of this one either although I do have to admit I really like that eerie vocal sample, even if it is completely drowned out by the drill beat and the inconsistently-censored sliding on the beat from Digga D. He uses a pretty standard drill flow here though, and the verses are little more than oddly specific gunplay and flexing. He does actually interpolate “Right Thurr” by Chingy in this pretty good and catchy chorus – which I imagine is the only reason this is in the top 20 – as well as in the second verse, where he interpolates his other biggest song which already interpolated a Vine. Sure, I guess.

Conclusion

Not as good of a week as the last, although there’s still a LOT of British hip hop here, mostly sectioned between some indie-pop clunkers. In fact, I’m going to give Glass Animals the Dishonourable Mention for “Heat Waves” while Worst of the Week goes to “You’re Mines Still” by Yung Bleu and Drake on the remix for just being a horrible song all around. Best of the Week surprises me but it’s going to Little Mix for “Happiness” because, well, at least it has some damn energy to it unlike the rest of these songs. I guess the Honourable Mention can go to “One More Time” by Not3s and AJ Tracey but even that would be stretching it. Let’s hope for some good stuff next time, maybe some of that new Gorillaz album... pretty please? Here’s the top 10 for this week:

Big gains for “What You Know Bout Love” there, which is interesting. Follow me on @cactusinthebank for Tory scum baiting and I’ll see you next week.

[pclmers]

[ rome flynn, cis male, he/him ] STERLING PALMER, MD is a TWENTY-EIGHT year old 3RD YEAR RESIDENT. he is originally from NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA and has been living in los angeles for TEN YEARS. he can be a little EGOTISTICAL, but at least he is COMPASSIONATE. when i think of him, i think of the heavy feeling in your eyes when you stay up late to study, that resigning feeling of re-downloading tinder after a bad date, and cheesy pick up lines. 

background 

born in nola, where he grew up in a middle class family. both his parents are chefs, and together they co-own a restaurant in the city. that was his “part time job” growing up — not that he was getting paid for it. he was just expected to help out 

the nickname silver had been coined by his uncle. his uncle was only 8 years his junior, so they were always very close. when he was a toddler, uncle b would call him sterling silver. it was meant to be a sports nickname — any time sterling would play with his mini toy basketball, his uncle was there to narrate “there goes sterling silver, racing down the court, he goes for the lay-up...WHOOSH!! STERLING SILVER HITS IT AGAIN!” anyway, from there it got shortened to just silver. his mom and dad picked up on it, his older sisters, his younger sisters, and by the time he started kindergarten he was introducing himself as silver. 

his older sisters were in high school when greys anatomy started and it. was. their. favorite. show. every thursday night, the tv was theirs, no questions asked. it was the unspoken rule in the palmer house. silver chose not to fight it to avoid getting scratched — girls were ruthless. instead, he’d sit down in the living room and watch with them. he’d never admit that he kind of enjoyed it. no...he really enjoyed it. 

fast forward to eighteen, a senior in high school. he was a golden boy. everyone at school knew him, and loved him. he was co-captain of the varsity basketball team. he had a girlfriend who was just as beloved, and his parents loved her too. he got mostly good grades ( save for the C in world history, because he always ditched to go make out with cara ). but his favorite subject, by far, were the sciences. biology, chemistry, even psych. he loved them and he excelled in them — so when he graduated high school he knew exactly where the next four years would take him, and the next four years after that. 

despite some buzz of recruitment, he decided not to pursue spots in college, knowing fully well it would take up most of his time and he didn’t have the bandwidth to spend four years playing basketball with no intention of going to the nba. he graduated high school and went to USC, university of southern california, where he attended the next four years with a biology major, which put him on the pre-med track to medical school. 

college was...no different than high school. half way through his freshman year he broke up with cara, his high school sweetheart, who was attending alabama university, because “he had to focus on studying” which was quite obviously bullshit. he rushed and became a member of TKE and went to parties thursday-sunday. his gpa suffered his freshman year, but he got his act together after that. 

he had one girlfriend during his four years of college, a year and a half long relationship from his junior into his senior year. while he’d thought he was in love with cara, this felt like the real deal. after all, he was twenty, he was older, people met their soulmates in college...didn’t they? maybe this was it. 

it wasn’t. beverly had cheated on him with his frat brother who had sworn he was too drunk to realize who it was. a bullshit answer and excuse that he had accepted, but he found himself pretty heartbroken? which he wasn’t used to...he was supposed to be the heartbreaker!! 

he became one of those undergrad usc students who did their grad school at ucla. trojan to bruin baby!! after getting into ucla’s med school, he decided to focus on solely school. no distractions, no girlfriends...so four years of studying and a couple tinder flings later, he graduated med school with top grades and an offer for an internship at the ronald reagan ucla medical center in santa monica, california. 

he is now in his third year of residency with a focus on pediatrics, where he found himself excelling in. he’s a bit of a workaholic, but still manages to find time for a social life. the dating pool is limited when you work at a hospital, seeing as those are pretty much the only people you spend your time with the first few years, and silver learned his lesson after dating another resident (working in close quarters with your ex is not fun). he doesn’t have that much time for meeting people outside of work though...which is how he ended up resigning himself to online dating. it’s quick, it’s easy, it’s convenient, and 9/10 it results in a hookup that leads to nothing. a win win, in his eyes! 

also, his younger sister aaliyah moved out to los angeles a few years back with her daughter. she’s a single mom, so silver always helps out where he can, and he’s grown really close to his niece. he’s basically like a second parent to her! she’s 6 now, and they’re super tight. 

personality/headcanons 

silver is a virgo sun, capricorn moon, so he’s extremely organized and ambitious. he has clear goals that he sets for himself, and he does whatever he needs to do to achieve those goals. 

he’ll put his work over his relationship any day, which is part of a reason many of his relationships haven’t worked out

doesn’t really tell his dates what he does, because he finds that as soon as he says he’s a peds doctor they swoon and that’s not what he needs rn!! 

all of that being said, he’s not really a stickler. outside of work, with the amount he likes to drink and party, you probably wouldn’t guess he’s a doctor! he’s pretty funny but he has a sort of dry sense of humor (very capricornesque, if u know what i’m saying)

very smart, but a dumbass. iykyk

can be an asshole and can be a sweetheart. it honestly depends. 

9/10 times he isn’t looking for a relationship and if he sees it heading that way, he’ll call it quits. it’s mostly a defense mechanism, he’d rather end it before he feels too seriously, because heartbreak? was not very fun for him

champion @ true american...he always gets the drunkest 

he comes from a family of chefs!! cooking comes naturally to him. makes the best black bean soup

he surfs on the weekends but he sucks at it

always has lollipops on him thanks to being in peds. like he will whip out a lollipop from some pocket at any point if he doesn’t know what to do in a situation. hes just like.....sucker? 

wanted connections

best friend/ride or die

college friends?! if they went to usc undergrad or ucla grad school

going off the above ^ frat bros. BROS FOR LIFE. you know i’m a sucker for a good bromance

like a nick miller/cece type situation....they tolerate each other because of mutual friends but if they’re alone together there’s nothing to talk about KJSGH

ex? or almost ex? shoulda coulda woulda? good terms? bad terms? we love to see it

current hook up

i love a good enemies plot but there needs to be a reason...so if we can come up w something spicy let’s mf do it

weekend surfing buddy, or basketball buddy

that’s all i can think of but i’m open to anything tbh