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#im still sad but now a bit less sad
ganondoodle · 22 days
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(zelda comic rough draft)
im still unable to draw anything ... except for really slowly getting the chapter 2 rough draft further for some reason, another screenshot from page 59
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fvckednddistvrbed · 2 months
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i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad
#tw s3lf harm#i dont even feel sick from eating too much like usual#its like the feeling of food in my stomach is making my throat feel tight and its activating my gag reflex a bit so i feel like im gonna tu#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#3d ana#not exactly pro a*a but not anti either.. :/#i want to post more in this community and get mutuals and get help with navigating this whole thing but im scared cause ive seen#so many people have their whole accounts deleted and i think i would actually kms if that happened since ive had my main for like 8 years#and to be clear im very pro recovery#which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed#i think everyone deserves to recover and i hope i do but right now is just not fucking it for me#so for not its a whole lotta#male thinpo#slef harm#right and i definitely cant talk about being b p d uncensored or ill get reported cause the b*d community is super toxic but in the way that#slef harm and scars are chillin but eds are actually a real struggle™️ and you should have it in secret like everyone else#not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this#but tumblr is a very concentrated dose of that kinda person and its sad for us pw b*pd that are both kinds of toxic LMAO#i joke of course#anyway yeah pro recovery for sure but not currently in recovery#ana moots#body chex#someone who could help with that maybe idk im also kinda shy so maybe just someone to help me with restrictions and staying accountable#at least for now#also if you sh all the better cause i will wanna talk about that too#also to clarify my earlier statement 'not pro a*a' means i dont think and 3d is a lifestyle and i recognize that im sick#but 'not exactly anti' means im not going to avoid these communities or report people in them for being pro#because thats about as effective as throwing out an addicts stash or hiding sharp objects from a chronic sh'r- theyll still find a way#and probably way easier and faster than you think and theyll feel even more alienated and less inclined to seek help
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bronzefuryfic · 6 months
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goodbye sweet baby Aemond... hello angry, vengeful teenage Aemond!!!
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franeridan · 10 months
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nearly done with my op reread and for the longest time my theory was that the d marked the descendants of the people native of the island that eight hundred years ago fought the twenty nations, but rereading the part about lili I thought maybe it's more lax and it marks everyone who opposed the current government in general, not just those from the island - she was the queen of one of the twenty kingdoms after all, and imu didn't seem to know the nefertaris had a d in the name as well, but before the war there would have been no reason to hide it? so i think it's something they added to their names later, maybe to recognise each other as allies? or something? the kozuki were obviously allied too and don't have a d though, so I can't say this theory makes a hundred percent sense. also i find interesting how law is hiding the water part of his name too together with the d, i wonder if that has any further meaning? another interesting thing is that there seems to have been some form of prophecy or prediction about what's currently happening in the manga, since oden knew he had to wait twenty years and the sea monsters in the oden flashback on fishmen island were talking about it too... maybe a prediction about a war? since oden wanted to unleash pluton. I wonder what exactly they found out on laugh tale that made them all laugh when the events the wg is keeping secret seem to be this tragic... also, i think i never even noticed during my first readthrough of egghead but there's someone offshore with blackbeard's flag? a small boat, it seems, but I think atm we know all blackbeard pirates are either on the pirate island or fighting against the hearts (;;;) so I wonder who exactly that is? also, I didn't catch this either first time around but I feel like the germa might just be heading there as well right now lmao the thing with kuma returning to mariejois happening so soon after vp talked about the ancient robot attacking mariejois and no one knowing why is also suspicious to me, I wonder if vegpunk used data from that robot to turn kuma into a cyborg and that's tied to why he returned there for apparently no reason...?? anyway I thought rereading would help me clear up some questions but instead it left me with even more kkkk should have figured
#I'm about ten chapters away from the latest one im so sad#im also sad cause i just saw kidd and law lose once again but that's beside the point maybe#luffy is headed to elbaph next i wonder if he'll find kidd there...#i love shanks sm and i get why he protected his own but i love kidds crew i hope they're okay 😢😢😢😢#the hearts too but i trust the hearts will be back#bc the manga used the word destroyed for kidd and defeated for the hearts#defeated sounds a bit less........ definitive#and also cause we know at least bepo and law are fine and bepo said to trust the crew to be fine too so#i don't think oda would be that big of a bastard#maybe blackbeard took them hostage hoping for law to be back since he obviously wanted the ope ope fruit?#maybe theyre with pudding now and they'll help her escape#maybe i need to stop setting myself up for disappointment lmao#but yes i trust the hearts to be back for now but im worried about the kidd pirates ;;;;;;#i hope shanks didn't kill them kidd had just become one of luffy's friends 😭😭#also hoping garp didn't actually die but that's........like............... hoping in a delusional sort of way yk#on punk hazard kuzan told smoker to trust that his sense of justice is still intact#and i sorta like kuzan's morals tbh so i trust he knows what he's doing when he stands between blackbeard's crew#i just hope he won't regret it yk? man just maybe killed his life techer for this i hope this is worth it for him#also straight up i just don't want luffy to lose someone else like straight up my son doesn't deserve this#and dragon doesn't either!!!#i love dragon so much........i hope he'll be luffy-relevant soon..........
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possiblytracker · 1 year
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got dragged to a pub quiz with some of my housemates buddies and was fully convinced i was not really gonna have a good time and itd probably be too loud and i wouldnt be much help etc etc etc bc my mood is still not great but i forgot im a competitive motherfucker when it comes down to it and the sheer rush of euphoria that comes from knowing a few more obscure answers that had the rest of the room hemming and hawing is gonna carry me through the next week probably
#when nobody else in the wetherspoons in rural wales knows what the capital of florida is or what you call a female swan#the big ass grin spreading across my face and sheer rush of Power listening to 2 people the next table over arguing over whether#its jacksonville or miami. you Fools. you absolute buffoons. i know more than you/j/j/j/j#i am so exhausted now and the 'yea this is Over you are enjoying urself too late' sadness is creeping back in but it was worth it#we came 3rd...... the prize was a whole pitcher of some cocktail for the group but i do not drink so i just went home to bed#a female swan is called a pen btw i knew that six month long job spouting swan facts at 8 year olds would come in handy someday#IDK i still have a lot to work through but i feel like i should make a slightly less depressing post today skdfjh;;#shoutout to my housemate for always somehow noticing when i have just not left my room in a day and coming to drag me out of it#i was so close to just not eating again (which tbf. i didnt. until like 6pm whoops)#but now i have done that AND touched grass AND socialised AND feel good abt myself a bit.. so.....#i worry a lot that people dont really. notice or care that much when im struggling/when they do that its annoying or a burden so#im very grateful to have people who care about me enough to try and pull me out of it. i hope wherever i end up after this#that i can surround myself with more people like that#man this feels pretty bittersweet to think about as well but in more of a cathartic kinda way. i guess#trying to think abt things slightly more positively so i dont turn into a festering black pit of bad vibes for the next few weeks#and my blog still inexplicably feels like the nicest place to sort through this kinda thing
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thestarsthemo0n · 1 year
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just finished speak now taylor's version. i have thoughts and feelings. not sure what they are tho
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delicatetaysversion · 11 months
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you know it's bad when you hit the 30 tag limit
#like shut up i wasn't done#i feel so unbearably hurt and betrayed like how can i be SO. unimportant to him so less of a priority that he's literally organising his#desk instead of talking to me taking five mins to talk to an agent book a ticket in tatkal#i told him i had to be back by 20 even before coming here on like 5th#and ive been reminding hin this everyday since after diwali#still he just. doesn't care?#and im his daughter? am i his daughter? does it even mean anything?????#ive never felt more alienated from my family than today#isn't it sad i don't even expect anything from mom all she does is tries to lighten the mood by making jokes#im so sick of her even the sight of her her voice makes me want to shout at her#i don't do it ofc but still#everyone is so selfish she's so selfish too she's always complaining about how i don't love her how i don't give her a chance#but that she'll stay away from all important thinhs that actually matter to me like what's the point of having a mother then??? i have my#siblings to listen to me i have my friends you i need u to be an adult and fucking help me in real terms#nvmind that path is just hopeless#anyway in tired of my small fucking life and my same small fucking problems and my own fucking self#everything would be okay if i just studied a little bit harder#idk ive been practicing saying it out loud that i can't study more than tui and after seven times i can say it out loud now#without crying or my voice watering#so hopefully it will go well#tho in my experience i never actually get to sya the stuff i practice to say to him because he dominates the convo so early so fast im#left speechless and shocked and on the verge of tears AGAUN#it's fine im calm now#but after crying headache ugh i did not miss u at all going back to storing all breakdowns in a bottle
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guinevereslancelot · 2 years
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is there anything worse than being rejected by a potential friend 😐
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be-good-to-bugs · 2 years
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hatsune freaku!!!
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simptasia · 1 year
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i’m no stranger to media i love being made by awful people (star trek and doctor who have a long history of this...) but still. i’m in shock
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agayconcept · 1 year
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#me: itll b done monday. itll b done Monday. no more of this experiment after Monday.#my boss Saturday morning: we made some changes to the end of the experiment. u dont have to take measurements sunday and Monday. youll do#it Tuesday and Wednesday.#me: ...i cant even. if i have to fucking do that. why would u do this to me? why the fuck cant i just fucking do it sunday/Monday?#im not fucking doing that. im not. fuck off. why would u do this??? is it bc my birthday is Monday so u think ill b sad abt being in the#lab? bc im im fucking not in the lab and this fucking experiment is still going ill spend the day crying and unable to do fucking anything#bc i just kno ill have to come back on fucking Tuesday and do this again#is it bc u think the post processing will take too long so u wanna split between days? bc i will fucking sit there all fucking night#on Monday if it means i can fucking get this over with. ugh. great start to this fucking day. fantastic#ive already emailed back like: um hey some of these changes make sense bc um what the fuck??? it doesnt make sense to offset my#measurements? so what thr fuck???? but like more polite and hopefully less frantic sounding. god. i hope she doesn't have a valid reason#for this. i dont wanna fucking do that and i will fight back#email. me. back. my fucking stomach hurts abt this >:-[ also i didnt get a lot of sleep and came in at like 6.30am#bc i forgot to measure prewatering weights over the 2 weeks. oops. so im maybe not that steady#but i fucking hate this idea. and im not saying i refuse to do it. but i fucking refuse to do it#well see if i hold out. agh. birthday present to me. i get to be selfish and end this project early. and by selfish i mean i get to protect#my brain a tiny little bit. a teeny tiny bit. except my apartment is now so fucking cold ill probably end up in the lab anyway#bc everytimr thry turn on the air in my building its like so so so cold snd i dont have temp control and i wont complain#unrelated#i need my answer before 5.30 or my head will explode
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mrfoox · 2 years
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Uh, I got asked to 'rank' my life/how I feel about it and I... Am suprised I gave it an 7/10 without much thought. I'm one who usually rank anything like that 4/10 at best
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jackalopefreckles · 2 years
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SURGEON SAID I COULD TAKE OFF THE MEDICAL BINDER IT FEELS WEIRRD ITS SO WEIRD IM LAYING IN BED AND LIKE what the fuck what the fuck I can feel my whole fucking??? Just me what the fuck whatr eufkc wbat3 the fuck
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inkats · 1 month
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im "attending" citrus con (its virtual) and theres so much going on..... i wanna watch the toonami retro bl i wont be awake that late.... oTL
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spagheddiesquash · 3 months
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me in 2019: yeah no i wouldn’t call myself an “old soul” i think my interests are fairly relevant. i don’t think i’d ever be one. me in 2024: .do yuo guys remember flappy bird and rainbow loom and minecraft letsplays and the dab and those shirts with the sequins and the cold shoulders on them and nightcore and animation memes and fidget spinners and vine and the area 51 raid and the day everyone posted chimneys and those memes where it was a character surrounded by heart emojis with some kind of motion blur around it and the magic card memes and funny reaction images and that thing everybody did where they put their arms in their sweaters and it made them look like little chickens or that one person with the hoodie who pulled the string things in all the way so it only showed their lips and then put sunglasses on over it so it looked like a funny face and. and. do you wanna see my cd collection or my books. can i have a physical copy of that book. i prefer my headphones to have wires thank u very much. yeah man i really want a flip phone or like. a refurbished older cell.
#sorry for getting really sentimental about the 2010s (and mentioning some 2000s stuff)#it will probably happen again#look man#i get some of these things are still around#but they dont feel the same#idk it just feels like ppl used to be a lot nicer??#like i think ppl have gotten too comfortable with just being cynical and mean all the time#i havent met one person my age who gets excited about the new year anymore. not even people my parents’ age or my cousins’ ages#the future seemed really bright but now it feels like nobody sees it that way anymore??#and i get it#shit happens#its fine to be upset with the world! ive been there a lot#but i feel like we as a society can benefit from being a little less doom and gloom all the time#like. covid really caused a huge cultural shift#earlier today i saw a video that was talking about how we dont really have any good comedy movies to have come out in the past couple of yr#which are dedicated comedies. and how people are leaning more towards drama with some funny bits#and like. thats the main reason why ive been thinking about all this stuff#that and the fact that youtube is recommending me videos from my 5+ year old ‘watch later’ playlist#like no thanks youtube i dont wanna watch ‘morgz’s mom went bankrupt’#anyway maybe im just uncomfortable with the passage of time and how things change#buildings get renovated trees get cut down playgrounds get replaced mall stores close sites shut down etc etc#it makes me sad and mad about the fact that i cant do anything about it and dont know what to do about how i feel#sorry for the random rant i just have a lot of feels rn
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