#im still catching up
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
on my first date... kinda nervous...
#hsr#honkaistarrail#honkai star rail#hsr fanart#honkai star rail fanart#boothill#hsr boothil#boothill fanart#fanart#IM BACK IM SORRY FOR MY INACTIVITY#I STILL HAVE DEADLINES TO CATCH UP TOO#ily boothill pls come home#THROWS UP
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
a tribute to celebrate the finale of the manga that has meant so much to me these past few years
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#ryomen sukuna#toji fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 271#i would tag everyone but ik the most frequented tags in this fandom smh ghsdhfgdfjs#THSI KILLED ME#3 DAYS#IM DEAD DECEASED IN THE GROUND#i knew the minute i drafted the sketch that i would hate myself for it and yeah i was right#but honestly it was worth it it was worth every single hour#i got . lowkey highkey emotional wrapping this up bc like. what a RIDE it's been#ive grown so much since starting drawing fr this series i owe it a lot im so grateful to the things its taught me abt how i like to create#im so grateful fr the people its let me meet#ik it's not over-over and ill be around while the anime catches up but still something abt the manga ending#i'm sentimental u kno?#so i hope that i was able to convey those feelings#to jjk and to every1 who has engaged with my art for it: thank u <3
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
GUESS THE BUILD CRAZE
Grian losing it over the giraffe had me
#theres so many good clips#im still catching up but its just really funny to see#whiteboard fox#guess the build#geminitay#joel smallishbeans#grian#jimmy solidarity#impulsesv#skizzleman
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
just read sign of the moon and now I gotta change my title
1 note
·
View note
Text
Delivering mail to the furthest corners of the server ✉✈
#IF YOURE WONDERING WHERE IVE BEEN BTW THIS HAS TAKEN UP SOOO MUCH OF MY TIME IM SORRY I BECAME A HERMIT#i spent two weeks learning cpm and blockbench to make this! every animation is made from scratch#there's still a lot more to do too! but im very happy with how it's turned out#I also whipped up an origins datapack that allows people to ride on my back and to scale the eye height and stuff properly#like uhh. i still wanna make a blink anim. and a low health state that makes an engine catch fire. and clean up some anims im unhappy with#if anyone knows how the animated textures function works on cpm btw... pls let me know ;_;#big shoutout to hazel for helping me with a lot of the technical issues btw! <3#minecraft#modded minecraft#mineblr#aberrations#oc:strata#airplane dragon
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
bill seacaster is gonna be so fucking mad when he hears the bad kids fought a hoard of dragons in the sky on his house and he wasn’t there
#im still catching up its been a weird week ok#d20#originals#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 spoilers#fantasy high#d20 fhjy#fhjy spoilers#dimension 20#judith watches fhjy#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high junior year spoilers
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Vexed by the realization that I am a Max Wolfe looking for my Aki + Audrey
#dont @ me#im still catching up#and no matter how sideways it goes its probably still going to be closer to accurate than id like
0 notes
Text
questionable priorities 😑
#pinky and the brain#patb#animaniacs#my art#sorry for being away AGAIN (what else is new) 😭#ive been preoccupied with work and school and i have an internship coming up in two weeks 😵#trying to doodle more i promise#executive dysfunction has been a nightmare for me lately 😭😭#SORRY to those who have been waiting like a month for a DM reply too im catching up still 😭😭😭
644 notes
·
View notes
Text
the girls having a wraith killing competition
Close up!
#neopets#illusen#jhudora#illudora#neotag#neoart#this had text as well in the sketch but then i preferred it without#but it said '30 to 20 better catch up salad mix' 'im just getting started!'#jhudora calling illusen salad mix is still so funny to me its not even a good insult but i love it#my art
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
#contrary to popular belief#i did not forget abt luzo#theyre still my babies#im just slightly slowly losing that long lasting interest in op due to catching up to the manga anime and i think everything else#one piece#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#zolu#luzo#<- missed these tags
274 notes
·
View notes
Note
Does scar give xelqua a season pass for scarland? Bc he should, kid xelqua should be able to go whenever he wants!
absolutely, xelqua loves going and its good when grian needs a babysitter, but its also bad bc xelqua doesn't want to Leave
#ask#note: this message is months old and my inbox is closed until i can catch up bc i have left all these for so long i feel bad ADJGKADJK#but i can never get to them normally they get buried so quickly. so. forcing it now.#kidxelqua#my art#goodtimeswithscar#also im still vastly overwhelmed and not feeling 100% emotionally or mentally.#i dont like worrying abt messages while dealing with irl stuff so i'll get to it on my own time.
291 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
348 notes
·
View notes
Text
amazing episode EASILY one of my most favorite battle episodes of all time. How Ever is it insane of me to wish it went Just a little bit worse than it did. for the plot
#needed more riz torment LOWKEY. IM JUST SAYING. PUTS HANDS UP#HE DIDNT HAVE TO SEE FIRSTHAND THE POSESSIONS? DIDNT GET ATTACKED BY BARON PERSONALLY?#i mean i love the way kristen and adaine had those clutch loves that saved riz while he was in jawbones room but STILL#and im also glad baron didnt die. HOWEVER#IDK. HELP.#i really hope its talked about more in the ap or next episode or something#can we hear the word aromantic said out loud PLS! PLS?#aro community is Unsure how to feel?#ann bangers#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#MOVES***** MOVES. MOVES. MOVES. I DONT HAVE AUTOCORRECT ON. FUCK I DIDNT CATCH IT EARLIER#yeah loves why not they all love each other it works i guess what tha hell
687 notes
·
View notes
Text
Im in love with how the hearts are represented by nether stars,, its just one really cool to think of, instead of it being some modded in thing.
Like do you think the lifesteal members ever look at the night sky and think its alive? The night sky so full of lives, shining and shimmering just out of reach. Do they stare at the nightsky with greed, those with less hearts, do they stare with envy?
Do they ever kill the wither and think how remarkably similar they are to hearts? Holding the nether star close, like it might give them a life back. Do they identify witht he wither, they also drop those same stars when they die after all?
And then, how does it feel to hold a star/life. Does it burn like a real star? Is it freezing cold? Does it thump in rhythms or pulse with light? We are all made of star dust after all, the lifesteal members are just more star than most.
#sparrow speaks#lifestealblr#lifesteal smp#there#also im genuinely new so these are soemwhat retorical and somewhat real questions lol#sorry i was literally thinking “oh well I probably wont contribute much but art since im still catching up-”#and then i write shit like this#dorry#uhh i dont know how others headcanon this#but right off the bat- my idea for gaining hearts is them just straight up swallowing the nether star#yeah.#Cause one that funny and also I wanna have them do some physical action cause#THEY GAVE HEARTS A PHYSICAL FORM#WHatever man those with more hearts glow or something
201 notes
·
View notes
Note
For the sketch thingy:
Codymaulwan with B2?
They all come in different flavor of disaster, and I’m not immune to that
Polyamorous/Platonic poses for sketching
#im working on the requests still I just need to catch up with a few things first#so I will just pepper them in here and there be patient with me i will eventually get to all of them!#question of the day how do I tag this ship??#codymaulwan#codymaul#and Obi-wan coming to some realizations 😏#obimaul#codywan#my art#poly sketches#I’m not happy with how I draw maul just yet but this was very fun#thanks for asking/prompting!#answers#nicolabarth#I just enjoy doing my linesrts and the most minimal of shading here
406 notes
·
View notes