#im sorry but i said what i said and i stand by it

[cherryeclipses]

the little things

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: The moments between hunts where you and Dean can pretend to be a normal couple

Fluff, implied smut, no gender mentioned, Dean is a softie, 1 use of Y/N (also im horrible at writing smut sorry babes), wrote in like 30 minutes so not my best work...

Word count: 1.3k

⛧⃝

Dating Dean was tough at times, he was stubborn, self-sabotaging, and put everyone else's needs before his own. But the most difficult part was the fact that you were both hunters. It left barely any time to connect and do normal couple 'things.' Occasionally there were rare moments in between hunts where you could relax and even have a little fun, these were the moments you two cherished, even if it was just five minutes.

⛧⃝

You sighed, searching your pockets for the motel room key, you had just a finished a week long hunt solo taking out a small nest of vampires. As you pushed the door open, longing for a hot shower and bed to sleep in, you froze, whipping your shotgun out of your waistband. "Woah, woah, it's just me sweetheart." A familiar voice drawled. You flipped the light switch, "Dean?!" "You expecting any other men?" He chuckled as you wrapped your arms tightly around his waist, pulling him into a tight hug. You hadn't seen your boyfriend in nearly 2 months. He had been off with Sam, searching for their father and you had been busy with your own hunts. "What are you doing here?" You pulled away to get a good look at his handsome face. "I came for the scenery." He joked, "I came to see you idiot, what else?" "Did you find John?" You questioned. "Ah, it's a long story. A lot has happened since I spoke to you last week. But don't worry about that, I don't want to talk about work tonight." He leant down to kiss your lips, you melted into him, he smelt divine like old leather and vanilla. Your hands travelled up his chest, holding onto the man as if he was about to disappear. Nothing would be able to pull the two of you off each other, except the low growl of your stomach. Dean pulled away from you and your cheeks blushed. "C'mon let's order some food then we can get to the fun stuff." Dean laughed.

The two of you were sprawled out on the old motel couch, fast food wrappers littered the coffee table. You glanced over at your boyfriend, his eyes glued to the TV. It felt so nice to have him back, as much as you were glad him and Sam were getting along again you selfishly missed seeing him everyday. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." Dean said, breaking you out of your thoughts. "Maybe I will." You poked your tongue out at the boy. "I really have missed you Dean, thank you for surprising me." "It's nothing, honestly I couldn't stand being away from you a minute longer. Was driving Sammy crazy." You giggled, leaning your head on his muscular shoulder, your eyes suddenly feeling heavy, you had almost forgotten how exhausted you were. Deans hands playing with your hair absentmindedly, sending you to sleep.

⛧⃝

The sound of Dean softly humming ACDC woke you, you sat up straight in your seat, your neck was stiff from leaning against the side of the impala for hours. You had been driving for what felt like forever, leaving before the sun had set, it was now pitch black outside, you looked out the window to see nothing but bright stars in the sky and no other cars on the road ahead. "Hey there sleepy head." Dean teased. "Hey yourself." You looked behind you to see Sam passed out in the backseat, snoring softly. "How far away are we?" "Almost there, another hour maybe." Dean mused, taking your hand in his, running his thumb gently over your knuckles. As much as you hated long drives it was nice to have some downtime with Dean. You leaned forward to turn up the music slightly before placing a kiss on Dean's cheek, his stubble prickling your lips. You softly moved your way down his cheek, placing gentle kisses along his neck. Dean moaned quietly, tilting his head so you had better access to his neck, eyes still focused on the road. You took the encouragement and travelled further down his neck, lingering on his collarbone. He shuffled in his seat, you could tell he was getting worked up but trying to play it cool. You smiled and pulled away, returning to your spot in the passenger seat. "Can you guys not wait until we get to the motel?" Sam groaned from the backseat. You laughed, feeling sorry for the poor guy "sorry Sam. hands off from now on, I promise." You held your hands up in surrender. Dean didn't say a word but put his foot down on the accelerator, determined to get there as fast as his Baby would let him.

⛧⃝

"Hey Bobby, where's the sugar?" You called from the kitchen. "Second cupboard from the left." He answered from the doorway. You had spent the weekend at Bobby's, helping him with research for Sam and Dean. You sang quietly to yourself as you zipped round Bobby's kitchen, the boys were on their way back and you wanted them to come home to some real food. It was also a distraction for you from all the reading and worrying you had done all weekend long. "Would you let me help you?" Bobby asked. "Nope. There's more beer in the fridge, so go sit down, relax, and don't read any more damn lore books." The old man chuckled, nodding in response and leaving you to do what you needed.

"Honey, we're home!" Dean called out as he and Sam walked through the front door. "Hey Bobby, where's Y/N?" "In the kitchen." Bobby answered the eldest Winchester brother. "What are you -" Dean was cut off when he saw the spread on the dining table. The small table was full with all kinds of food, steak, vegetables, salad, fries, you name it, it was probably there. "Hey - woah did you spend all weekend cooking?" Sam asked as he walked in to the kitchen, eyes wide. "I think I'm gonna marry you" Dean faked a tear as he pulled you in for a kiss. "I thought you deserved a nice meal for once and honestly I was sick of reading! So sit, all of you and dig in. Please." As the men settled in for dinner the oven timer dinged. "More food?" Bobby asked, surprised. "Oh um, it's actually a surprise for Dean." You said, standing up to attend to the oven. You returned holding a steaming hot cherry pie. Dean's jaw dropped, "Have I ever told you how much I love you." He asked stunned. "Maybe once or twice." You shrugged.

⛧⃝

You awoke to sunlight streaming through the torn motel curtains, you rolled over, noticing Dean wasn't beside you. You stretched out across the mattress, contemplating going back to sleep until you heard the sound of the shower running. Sleepily you made your way to the bathroom, tossing your oversized shirt (the t shirt Dean wore yesterday) across the room and removing your pyjama pants once you were in the bathroom. You pulled back the shower curtain to reveal your boyfriend, taking a moment to revel in his beauty, his tan skin glistening with water droplets. "Good morning." He said with a goofy grin. "Morning" You replied, stepping into the shower and placing a soft kiss to his lips. Your hands found their way to his hair, gently massaging his scalp Dean hummed with pleasure, his hands travelling down your damp body, squeezing your hips and bringing you closer towards him. You slowly pulled away leaning your head back to allow the water to run through your hair. Dean took the opportunity to sprinkle kisses along your neck and down your chest. You let a moan escape your throat, he pushes you against the shower wall continuing to kiss you all the way down your body, lingering where you were most sensitive before standing up to meet your gaze. "I should wake up early more often." He mumbles, his voice deep, sending shivers down your spine. "I think we should make a habit of this." You say with a grin. Dean's hands find their way to your waist again "I agree." he says with a kiss before spinning you around to face the wall.

⛧⃝

[nakylvr]

could you maybe write one of the girls (preferably dani or sophia) reacting to the readers buzzcut because i’m getting one in february and i am so fucking nervous and i think it would boost my confidence a lot✨ it also doesn’t matter if it’s tmasc or masc lesbian whatever you feel more comfortable with💙💙💙 thank you

im so sorry this took this long 😭 but congrats on it cause i could never 😍 i love my hair too much LMAO. i decided to do both for you 🫶

warnings/tags: established relationship, gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned), fluff

sophia

sophia is always supportive of you no matter what. there's never really a "bad" decision you could make that would upset her ever unless it was drastic. so the day you show up at the dorm unannounced, with all your hair shaved off down to a buzz cut, the way she silently stared had you thinking this was one of those bad decisions. but then she smiles and just lets out a quiet "wow" before wrapping her arms around your neck. her hands gently graze the nape of your neck, the prickly hair making her smile more. first she's asking why you decided to do it, but then she's telling you how good it looks and how much she likes it. while she's partially upset she can't run her fingers through your hair anymore, she can't deny that she loves rubbing her hands down the back of your head whenever she's kissing you. that being said, she will buy you beanies when it gets to winter cause she doesn't want your head freezing.

daniela

dani is your number 1 supporter. always. whatever you want to do, she's there encouraging it even if it's stupid, she's an enabler. so when you tell her you were thinking of cutting your hair, she was like "oh, okay" but explaining you wanted a buzz cut had her literally jumping with excitement. she asks (begs) if she can do it, saying that she can if she has the equipment she can do it and will pout if you don't let her. if you let her, shes ecstatic and is immediately sitting you down in the bathroom to do it. she'll ask a couple times if you really want to do it, and when you say yes she just smiles and starts buzzing the hair off. when she's finished she's grinning, dimples showing as she stands you up and has you face the mirror saying how good she did. she is immediately rubbing her hands all across your head giggling while telling you how good it looks and how much she likes it. she will be taking pictures of you and her in the mirror to show it off and post them while being so dramatic about how amazing it looks. she doesn't shut up about it for the next few weeks, and even then she's still expressing how much she likes it when it's just you two together.

[soobinieee]

snowstorm secrets

pairing: soonyoung x f!reader

word count: 2,327

genre: smut (soft s*x), fluff, praise kink, enemies to lovers

sum. a weekend getaway with friends takes an unexpected turn when a heavy snowstorm traps you and your enemy alone in a holiday cabin. however, despite the cold, you felt warm...

a/n: it's been soooo long since i wrote a fic 😭 hope yall enjoy this!

you were trudging along the hallways after your last class ended when suddenly, you heard a familiar voice calling out your name. "hey y/n!" dokyeom shouted. you turned your head and saw dokyeom waving and smiling brightly at you. just as you were about to wave back and return a smile, you saw soonyoung standing beside dokyeom. "tsk, why is that fella there..." you thought to yourself. soonyoung saw who dokyeom was waving to and immediately ran to you. "hey nerd, walking to the library? i'll walk there with you." soonyoung snickers as he teased you. "nah i don't need YOU to follow me and i am NOT going to the library. mind your own business." you rolled your eyes as you replied him. just then, dokyeom walked to where you were and asked "y/n! i'm planning a holiday getaway next week at my parents' holiday cabin. would you like to come? i'll be there with soonyoung and seungkwan, as well as minseol and aeri (your best friends). let me know soon!" he winked at you as he walked away with soonyoung.

you texted your friends after dokyeom's invitation to join his weekend getaway.

y/n: "hey guys, i heard that yall are going to dokyeom's holiday getaway."

minseol: "oh yeah! dokyeom was gonna tell you that day when he asked us but i told him to ask you after your exam. aaaaanyways, are you coming? please say yes.."

y/n: "i would love to join yall but soonyoung will be there... i don't want to quarrel with him every second 💀"

aeri: "just stick with us. we know you hate soonyoung but we will be thereee so just come pleaseee. it wouldn't be fun without you..."

minseol sent a praying emoticon, pleading you to go. you thought about it and then replied "wait yea yall are right, i'll just stick with yall and have a blast there hehe" after that, you told dokyeom that you will be going. dokyeom proceeded to add you in a group chat and sent the details of the holiday getaway.

-- saturday morning, 8am --

you woke up to the freezing weather, getting ready and preparing for the 2 nights at the cabin. ngl, you were quite excited for this short trip except for the fact that soonyoung will be there. "it would have been fantastic if he isn't going ohgod.." you thought to yourself. just then, your phone screen lights up and notifications were flooding your phone.

aeri: "hey y/n can you get to the cabin with soonyoung? dokyeom and seungkwan are going for a grocery run."

y/n: "i can always go with you and minseol"

minseol: "y/n aaa sorry aeri and i just realised we have a morning chemistry consultation over zoom with our teacher until 10am... sorry we rescheduled it twice already idt we should reschedule it again 😭 we'll treat you to lunch and dinner on monday to make it up to you! sorry......don't hate us please.."

y/n: "omg wtf with soonyoung.. alone 😭"

aeri: "shit. IM SO SORRY Y/N soonyoung happened to be the only one free 😭😭😭"

minseol: "y/n i am soo sorry but dokyeom said someone has to be there early to check if we need any extra supplies..."

y/n: "can't soonyoung just go alone"

aeri: "errr dokyeom said its better if someone else accompanies him because he's quite bad at directions 💀..."

y/n: "ohmygod. fine i'll go but keep your promise on monday's lunch and dinner."

"great, what a wonderful way to start this winter getaway." you thought to yourself. just then, soonyoung texted you asking for your address so he can pick you up. you had no choice but to send your address while you received more apologies from dokyeom and your friends on how you have to travel to the cabin alone with soonyoung. after 30 minutes of waiting, soonyoung rang your doorbell. you carried your duffel bag and put on your coat before heading out to the cold.

"hey nerd, not bringing your study materials to the cabin?" you rolled your eyes and replied "can you stop calling me a nerd? i am not one." soonyoung laughs and retorted back, "no. pass me your bag."

before you could decline him, he snatched your duffel bag from you and placed it in the trunk. you were shocked but you didn't think much about it and entered the car.

the journey to the cabin was awkward but weirdly comfortable. all you could hear was cigs after sex playing in the background from the car's radio and soonyoung casually humming to the tune at random stops. he did not make fun of you nor quarreled with you over small random things.

"oh i wish he could stay this quiet whenever i see him..." you thought to yourself as you looked out the window. it was snowing heavily outside and all you see was thick white snow blanketing over the pavements. as soonyoung drove further into the outskirts of the country, you realised how seldom you explored the countrysides. "i should definitely come here for short getaways in the future.." you thought to yourself. envisioning yourself with different getaway ideas, soonyoung broke your train of thoughts

"hey y/n. could you search up the location again. i need to make sure if i am going the right direction." you sighed and took out your phone, inputting the location into the gps. the gps started giving directions and soonyoung listened intently.

at one point, he made a wrong turn (which he did not even realise) so you shouted "DUDE you made a wrong turn."

"wait no i'm correct" he rebutted.

"nonono dude look at the gps." you told him. "huh no im correc- oh. you're right sorry nerd." his voice softer as he realised his mistake. after what seems like forever, you and soonyoung finally reached dokyeom's holiday cabin. he brought your bags in along with his into the cabin. you hugged yourself tightly as the winds howled strongly. "the snow is quite heavy" you sighed.

as you went into the cabin with soonyoung, you took off our coat and boots. soonyoung turned on the heater (which was working thank god) while you went to check for supplies. after checking and confirming with dokyeom that everything yall need is there, you sat on the couch and scrolled through your phone. just as you were about to wonder what soonyoung was up to, you realised he successfully started a fire at the fireplace. he turned back, pointed to the fireplace and proudly announced to you, "i'm kwon fire." you rolled your eyes but chuckled softly as you thought he was quite adorable.

an hour has passed and your friends were still not in sight. it was snowing so heavily outside that you could barely see anything. the way the winds made the trees move looked really scary too as you stared out of the cabin windows. you were about to ask the group chat when they were arriving but to your dismay dokyeom said that there was a snowstorm so due to safety they decided to drive to the cabin after it subsides. soonyoung saw the message and replied with a thumbs up. however, you felt nowhere close to being okay. "there's no way i'm spending the time here with this jerk...." you silently complained to yourself.

"are you hungry? i brought instant ramyeon with me. if you want some, i can cook for you. i'm cooking for myself anyway. plus they won't be here anytime soon." soonyoung asked.

"oh yea sure, thanks." you replied thinking about how soonyoung is suddenly being so nice. it felt weird but nice, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. as you texted your friends, you could smell the ramyeon which made your stomach growl.

when soonyoung told you it was ready, you ran to the dining area and started digging into your food. to your surprise it tasted good. you never knew he was capable of cooking meals. to beat the silence, he started a conversation with you.

you looked up to reply him but he snickered and said "your mouth is dirty." "huh WHER-" before you could finish your sentence, his finger went to wipe it off for you. you sat there shocked, trying to process what he just did. he laughed then went back to eating. your face turned red and you muttered a soft "thanks".

after the simple meal, you went back to the couch. soonyoung followed behind you and suggested playing a game. "2 truths 1 lie? it will be boring if we keep scrolling through tiktok anyway." you nodded as you agreed with him. making yourselves comfortable on the floor, infront of the cozy fireplace, you started the ball rolling. as yall were playing, you and him either quarreled loudly at certain times or laughed heartily at each other's truths. if you were being honest, you quite enjoy it, which was weird because you never knew you could stand him.

"your turn" you chirped at soonyoung.

"hmm.... i love tigers, i love hamsters, i love you" "LOL dude isn't this simple, it's obviously the i love hamsters one. you literally look like one but hates anyone who calls you a hamste-... wait what??" as you replied, you realised what he just said. "wait what was your last one?" soonyoung looked at you and repeated, "my last one is i love you."

before you could process it, soonyoung leaned in and smashed his lips on you. your cheeks turned red and your heart started beating so fast but you leaned in more to kiss him. he then slid his tongue in your mouth. you whimpered and pressed your body closer to him, unconsciously grinding against him. butterflies erupted in your stomach as you kept wanting more.

"soonyoung..." you whimpered. "y/n, may i..." he asked as he traced circles on your thighs. you nodded and he immediately laid you down on the carpet. making sure that you are in a comfortable position, he started undressing you and himself. as your hands explored his body, it ignited a trail of flame.

soonyoung in awe, whispered “you are so fucking beautiful. you don't know how long i've wanted you.”

“soonyoung, please i need you so bad" you whimpered as you outlined his chiseled abs. "baby, be patient let me take in your beauty first..” soonyoung left a trail of wet kisses down your body. every touch left goosebumps on your skin. as he licked your cunt, his lust-filled eyes locked with yours. soonyoung groaned lowly, leaving shivers down your spine.

“you’re so wet...” he growled. you tugged his hair harshly as he continued licking your cunt clean. “soonie please… your cock.. please fuck me” you begged.

soonyoung immediately ripped the condom packet he took from his bag and rolled it down on his cock, groaning softly. he slowly slid himself into you. “you’re so tight, so perfect for me.”

“soonyoung aahh, feels so good” you moaned as he started moving. you pulled him closer to you. he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent.

“baby, you’re so good for me. i love you so much” you locked your legs on his hips, pulling him even closer where your body molded as one with his.

“fuck, soonyoung faster...” soonyoung whispered sweet nothings into your ears as he caged you between his strong arms. he smirked as all he heard were your pretty cries of his name and the sounds of clapping echoing in the room.

“soonie, i’m close…” you cried out. "y/n, you feel so fucking good. cum for me please baby." soonyoung breathes out. your body arched as you reached your climax which was followed by him afterwards.

he slumped his body on you, catching his breath after riding out both your orgasms. you peppered kisses on his shoulder as you cuddled with him. it felt so comfortable feeling each other's warmth though your bodies were coated with sweat.

“soonyoung?” you called him.

“hmm?” he replies.

“i realised that i have always liked you i just did not want to believe it… on days when you don’t tease me, i yearn for you.” you confessed, face hiding in his neck feeling shy.

“y/n, i only tease you for your attention. i don’t mean whatever i say about you. you’re literally perfect. i love you y/n.” soonyoung mumbles softly as his face heats up.

“i love you too” you replied back pulling his face to you as you pecked his lips.

soonyoung cleaned and dressed both of you up afterwards. the two of you cuddled on the couch, waiting for your friends' arrival.

-- after 30 minutes --

“WE’RE HERE! i miss you so much y/n.” minseol shouted but her jaw dropped when she saw you and soonyoung cuddling on the couch. “FINALLY! i knew yall had something for each other hehe. okay guys pay up.” aeri demanded as she and seungkwan collected money from the other two.

you started telling minseol and aeri what happened as yall prepared for dinner. dokyeom assigned roles for everyone to speed up the process.

after dinner, you and soonyoung decided to sit at the porch and stargaze.

“wow the stars are so pretty…” you looked up and muttered.

“just like you” soonyoung looked at you and whispered. you blushed upon hearing his words.

“oh by the way, though i said i didn’t mean whatever i said about you, i do think you’re abit of a nerd…” soonyoung snickered.

“kwon soonyoung. stop it right now.” you curtly replied.

“i’m sorry baby but at least you’re my cute nerd.” he cuddled you as he replied.

warming each other up in the cold was the best thing ever of this trip.

"i love you soonie" you said softly, with a smile on your face.

"i love you too, my nerd." he whispered back as his voice was filled with deep emotions.

[bellamoooon]

Riff never really thought he would last this long with you, but here you were, he had been with you since the year before Tony had gone upstate, which summed up to two years— which for riff was a lifetime considering his “relationships” never lasted more than a day.

“Come on girly girl, I promise they’ll behave this time…” there he was, puppy eyes and a pout standing in the door of your apartment, trying to convince you to let the jets have dinner at your place.

“Riff, you said that the last time, diesel threw a plate at action—“ you spoke reminding him about the catastrophic dinner that had happened weeks ago.

Because yes, you loved riff, and the rest of the boys, to be fair you had been like a mother to most of them, which was comic, seeing as they were all of your age, or a year younger, but despite that, the care you had given to your boys— as you call them — was more nurturing and motherly than what their actual mother ever provided.

But— often when you made dinner for all of them, it turned into a goddamn mess.

Chewing with open mouths, spilling juice, broken plates, sauce accidentally spilled on your pretty pink table cloth, and stolen spoons— don’t ask, you do not know what they take your spoons for.

“I just don’t want to have to clean up after, you boys are like a stampede of elephants, you tear my apartment to shreds in minutes” riff laughed, of course he did, he pulled you closer wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Come on angel, I’ll make the boys clean up, you just cook up one of those delicious warm meals of yours and we do the rest.”

It was tempting, getting to see the boys— and them endlessly complementing your food, and you weren’t an egomaniac, but man it was nice to hear— and spending time with riff, which was often a complicated task with all the trouble they find themselves in.

“Fine, but this apartment better shine after” he hummed as he left a kiss on your head, good thing he had convinced you, the jets were all getting set up for the dinner riff had promised them, he knew you’d give in eventually.

***

As you turn the stove off, right on cue there’s a knock at the door, you sigh, it’s just dinner, they’ll help clean up, no one’s gonna kill anyone, you try telling yourself, but who were you kidding, whenever more than three jets were in a small space— or big to be fair— an earthquake was bound to happen.

“Heya doll, got the boys, need any help setting up?” Riff said with his usual charming smirk as you opened the door, you made way as him and maybe five or six jets walked in behind all freshened up and smiling as they greeted you.

“Yeah, could ya set the plates and silverware, I’ll be there to serve in a sec” he nodded as he started to hand out plates to the boys as the placed them carefully on the table.

As you close the door a foot is shoved in the way letting out a yelp of pain, “ow!”

immediately you swing the door open to find baby John with his brows knit together in pain.

“Jesus, baby John! Why the hell would you do that?” He shakes his head as you place a hand on his back as you both walk in.

“The guys started to run— and…and I kinda lost ‘em so im just slightly late, sorry ma” you giggled as he spoke, always so well spoken and polite. He was a good kid from a broken home, and you were the kind of mother he always wanted his to be, so to say the least, you were fond of him.

“Alright, go sit down, I bet the boys already set the table for dinner” and they had done that exactly, and were even seated already, looking all pretty and innocent as if they weren’t in fights everyday.

As you had predicted, they all gushed over the food and how “no five star could do it like you did”— says riff, it’s just a simple meal, but he was used to eating whatever he could find cheap enough for himself, or starve, which was almost never, since you’d always have a little something for him.

“Okay, now clean up, I want no complaining or whining, Diesel— you’re on dishes tonight” obviously, he let out a soft “aw man” as he started picking the plates and taking them to the sink, “and the rest of you wiping up the table and the kitchen counter” they all groaned, but complied.

Riff found it incredibly amusing and mesmerizing how, ever since you two were together, they all obeyed to most of your orders and looked after you whenever you were out late.

“Y’know pretty, you’d make a great mom someday” he said as he wrapped his arms around your waist, making you smile as his warmth stuck onto you.

“Already am, dickwad, you made me responsible for all your jets, but I don’t see ya paying child support” you say as you turn your head to look up at him, lets out a loud chuckle as he presses a kiss on your shoulder.

“I’ll pay you once these monkeys are out here girly girl, they don’t need to know how good I fuck you” he whispered in your ear, your face lit up with a bright blush as you stuck your elbow in his ribs.

“Riff! You gotta stop doing that, I mean it.”

“Unless you’d want ‘em to hear your pathetic whining, pretty, remind ‘em you’re mine and no one else’s” he left a quick kiss on your cheek as he pulled away, going towards the boys to walk them out of the apartment, turning to wink at you.

You just know it’ll be best if you sleep in and not leave the house tomorrow.

[carlarosenakilah]

I'm taking a break from The Osix Family and Wilted Ivory

Hi, you've read that right. I'll proceed to go into detail undercut

Warning that the following will be containing very sensitive topics such as su***idal thoughts, mental health issues, and whatever the fuck I went through to get me here and I don't know how to describe nor name them but overall its not pretty.

Getting straight to the point- im drained. I'm in a horrible place right now and I need to take a step back before it might escalate into something worse.

The Osix Family is always something that I will forever dedicate to. It has comforted me, carried me, and saved me from killing myself three years ago.

I asked myself, "If I'm not here, who will tell the story of The Osix Family?"

That made me stay alive, and im greatful for that because if not, I wouldn't have been where I am today standing with the coolest people I have ever met and my amazing partner in crime @alexusespido-dod.

I love Wilted Ivory too, and that's where it gets tricky.

My only plan for Wilted Ivory is to simply tell a story about growth expressed as a musical au. Hence why the art is so simple– not just to match the original Casino Cups style, but just to tell a story that I hope would inspire and comfort others. Of course, I'm happy it gained lota of love.

The Osix Family though is a different story.

Like I said, it means a lot to me, so I put so much time and energy into this series. I sacrifice time that could've been used to study for the next exam, but instead im working on the next few panels or planning the music and etc. Blood sweat and tears (literally) into making sure the art looks good, story is properly conveyed, scenes carefully picked. Even if it gained me bad scores in my exams that made me stress over about, in the end it was worth it to me. I didn't care if I'd be sick an unable to move, as long as I could at least think about it, then I would be happy.

Episode 3 was my worst.

I overworked myself for that episode. I was always in front of my tablet, I never moved out of my seat, I was just there, working on it even if it was 1 in the morning and that I should be sleeping. I told myself: "Everything will pay off! Sure you're in so much pain right now, but eventually it will all pay off! Episode 3 is looking good and interesting! This will FINALLY gain the audience and love the story deserves!"

I was proud.

Until I wasn't.

Reality hit me like a saw. The moment the episode was released I was hopeful. But nothing happened. It was all the same.

And it just hurt how something as simple as Wilted Ivory can easily gain attention and love because it was Cuphead related something well known. Meanwhile, The Osix Family–despite everything–is just barely seen.

I started to doubt myself. To question myself. Was I not doing enough. What more can I do. What should I do. Am I not good enough?

Is the story just not good enough?

That broke me. I began to have thoughts I shouldn't have. I wanted to end it all. I wanted to quit and disappear from the world. Because what was the point in pouring so much love into something only for it to dismissed.

Its not like I simply began having these thoughts.

I've had them over and over again.

As much as I hated involving him, my partner, Alex, had to deal with the many times I nearly ended it. To the point where even if he was in school, he'd go out of his way to stop me, I still feel guilty, even if he said it was fine.

I don't understand myself anymore.

Why do I even have such an attachment to this series? Its just a stupid silly series for funsies isn't it? Why does my life to depend on it?

Unfortunately, it just does.

It sucks. Pushing away my needs for the sake of this passion, only for it to just not go as I hoped it would go. Did I mention I'm also losing followers on the osix family blog? Thats so silly and coquette.

I'm so sorry if im coming off as guilt-trippy, please I don't want it to sound that way, I just want to express how deeply troubled I am because to me it actually DOES HURT.

I envy people who couldn't give a flying fuck about whether or not their stuff goes famous or gets love, I don't even understand why I am so dependent or hungry on whatever attention it gets. I hate that im like this. I want to be free from it but I just crave it.

So, for the sake of my mental health and whatever is left of my sanity, im taking a break, for good.

I will not be updating The Osix Family or Wilted Ivory at this very moment. For how long? It depends on how fucked up I have actually turned out to be today.

I might still post, keyword: MIGHT, its not any update but to just simply draw for myself, but the chances of me posting anything is horribly low.

I'm going to focus on myself, my needs, and whatever makes me happy or have fun with.

To those who supported The Osix Family or even bothered to check it out: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

It means a lot to me, you have NO idea. Every single like, reblog, comment, hype or even the silliest amounts of theories or thoughts, they make me so happy, it actually heals me.

I can't remember names im sorry, but there was a time someone expressed how they were invested in the lore and loved the world building, it really made my day. Or when someone pointed out some small details on my waiting in a miracle animatic, it warmed my heart.

I have troubles expressing it, but im so, SO greatful.

Especially when some of my mutuals started making OCS FOR THE SERIES?? Like– it felt like a HUGE compliment.

I cant believe im tearing up as im typing this haha im so stupid lmao, but

Thank you. A lot.

And to those who weren't really into The Osix Family, its okay, don't feel bad, sometimes things are just not our cup of tea, I just needed to express my grief, cause honestly bottling it up isn't going to end well for me (and it really didn't multiple times).

I apologize for any false hope or let down your hype as Wilted Ivory was just starting and The Osix Family was finally coming back– but this treatment is overwhelming me that I need to take a step back.

That's all for now.

Thank you for... actually reading, you listening means a lot to me too.

Goodbye.

[slxtarchive]

𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 … you meet a lovely man at a rooftop bar your friends have been raving about but came across an unexpected connection

✦ ... you walked up the stairs following behind your three friends as they squealed their way to the top. the rooftop bar was dimly lit by hanging lights and warmed up by heaters that were scattered around. it was enclosed by a glass room that had glass walls and roofs allowing you to see the city while also being comfortable and warm. your eyes scanned the room before they landed on him.

the way he looked leaning against the bar counter talking to someone you didn’t bother to look at. the way his white shirt wasn’t too tight but wasn’t too loose framing around him perfectly.

as you walked through the tables and passed many people your eyes never left his. you sat down beside your friends having a perfect view of the bar. you pulled your eyes away from him looking down at the menu to decide what to drink then returned your gaze back onto him only to see one man standing there.

the man that he has been talking to left so he was alone drinking at the bar. you bit your cheek, “do you guys see him?��� you asked your friends who said around the table. they all looked back. “oh my — not at the same time!” you whispered harshly covering your eyes.

they all giggled before one spoke up. “yeah why?”

you licked your lips. “i think im gonna go talk to him. he’s cute and i want to live it up before classes start.” you nodded building up the courage as you spoke up about it. they all agreed and nodded encouraging you to go.

you took a deep breath before getting up and starting to walk to him before turning around and sitting back down. “yeah no, i need a drink first.” you let out a sigh.

they all laughed and awed, “let’s get a drink in you then babe.”

the night went on allowing you to have a few drinks and before you knew it, you were sauntering your way toward him with a drink in your hand. you were slightly tipsy but not too much to where you wouldn’t be able to make good choices.

you slowly made your way toward him, “hi..” you said quietly, earning a head turn. “sorry… i uh..” you froze. there he was sitting on the bar stool looking up at you.

he had a soft smile on his lips. “hello…?” he was confused but slightly entertained.

you cleared your throat. “sorry! sorry i just.. i thought you were very cute and well — you look lonely — not that that’s a bad thing though! you could just be independent… or maybe you’re okay with being alone—not that i think you’re here alone but i mean you are… um.” you blabbered until you lost your breath. he fought a chuckle.

he tilted his head admiring the way your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “i am here alone, lonely if that’s what you call it and thank you for the compliment. you’re very… cute… as well.” he spoke so eloquently. “would you like to join me?”

you bit your cheek. “that’d be great.” you said breathlessly.

as the night went on you both knocked back a few more drinks talking about god knows what. it was small talk at first, favorite movies and go-to places to eat then you got deeper, about how you both grew up and your parents and it was just going on and on and on.

one thing led to another and you both had went to his house nothing but list visible in his eyes. making out on his bed no thought of tomorrow on your mind.

he kissed up your neck, losing control while feeling up your delicate soft skin, marking you as if you were his. he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you both stripped naked and buried yourself under the sheets.

he touched you and made you feel good in the best way possible. his fingers bringing you to a near orgasm before he pulled them away and couldn’t hold control himself any longer. he pumped his hard cock a few times before lining himself up with your entrance and inching inside you slowly. “fuck—oh my fuck please.” you begged, as he stood still for a few moments.

he slowly moved inside you nudging that spongy spot that has your toes curl. “where have you been all my life, pretty girl?” he questioned when he noticed your legs shake with anticipation. “feel so fighting good wrapped around me. gonna cum for me? milk my cock like a good girl?” he purred eliciting one final moan before you clenched around him.

the slight squeeze brought him to his own orgasm as he spilled inside of you. breathless you both laid beside each other not saying one word.

a minutes passed he rolled over pulling you in by your waist. “is it odd if i barely asked for your number?” a cute awkward tone found in his voice.

you giggled as he buried his face into your neck. “not at all.”

you went home the next day nonstop thinking about that night. you had texted back and forth about whatever came up to your mind before he asked if he could take you out to dinner in the following week. you agreed, wanting to get to know him more.

you told yourself you probably shouldn’t have started to date at that moment because of classes starting but you couldn’t help that connection you felt with him.

on your way to class the following monday you responded to sam’s message he sent about asking when you were free. you responded by asking why he was up so early and stating you would be free on friday.

your head buried in your phone you finally reached your class and walked in with a confident smile but as soon as you looked up, your chest tightened and your heart dropped to the floor.

there he was, wearing a white button up shirt and black trousers with shiny black shoes. he was looking at you, he was writing his name in the board. professor golbach.

you were fucked.

© 𝐬𝐥𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞

[emmafallsinlove]

literati b99 au where jess is jake, rory is amy, paris is gina, dave as terry, and lane as rosa. and who’s captain holt you may ask? max medina.

[auxxrat]

so sick and tired of the “jedi are an evil and abusive cult that steals children” as if half the reason they weren’t protecting these children is bc sith were out killing them or TURNING THEM INTO SITH. they weren’t even STEALING children to begin with I thought we all knew that was Palpatine’s game not Yoda’s.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[angel-archivist]

If you think that’s what a trans woman looks like you are transphobic and also an asshole. I don’t like you. I don’t like what you stand for.

Listen guys I know they didn’t make all longlegs fans surrender their critical thinking skills when they walked into the theater so whats with this behavior on tumblr.

Im saying longlegs reminds me of the history of transphobic horror that has played a huge role in the villainizing of trans people and how its effects are still found today in modern horror whether its implicit of explicit. But im glad you believe and trust the cis actor who used a derogatory word for intersex people when describing the character and the cis writer who based the movie heavily on silence of the lambs over other trans people. Personally I usually like to hold off on parasocial relationships with men in positions of power but you do you!

[poisonousquinzel]

if you've ever felt embarrassed about getting characterization wrong in fan content in the past just know that the man who co wrote this ridiculously dumbass bit from an offensive revolting series went on to be allowed to co-write two of the four Harley Quinn ongoings (2014 / 2016)

Ivy, in reference to Wonder Woman: Poor thing comes from an island of all women. That's worse than Catholic school.

Selina: Depends on your preferences.

Harley: Eww!

Selina: So we can add homophobe to your incredibly dimwitted character traits.

Harley: You know if we didn't have to work together I'd let my snookums poison your milk bowl.

Selina: Great, the talking hat thing again.

Ame-Comi was released in like 2013 and Harley's second ongoing was in 2014 ... who let him touch her character again i just wanna talk i swear

[junkartie]

I think the most crushing autism experience is friends/romantic partners eventually figuring out youre masking bcz if you keep it up long enough its also off-putting & unnatural and then insisting you act like yourself- only to realize they in fact do not like your real self and make comments about how annoying/different youre acting all of a sudden. ❤️🧎‍♀️

[dent-de-leon]

did....did Taliesin really say that, "in an ideal world" (had he lived long enough) Molly would've romanced Caleb--as well as the rest of the Nein? Was that real?? Because my god.....

Kingsley still has a chance to romance his Magic Man (is he a little bit in love with all of the Nein, like Molly was?? Would he flirt with Essek too, or Jester and Fjord maybe??) Can't believe Tealeaf got resurrected again and has one more chance to live the dream--

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[evilkaeya]

I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU STOP PRESSURING ME FUCK

[ef-1]

girlhood