#im so tired of fucking up and making other people suffer
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jellyfishjams · 1 year ago
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xicanaroja · 4 months ago
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I think its very telling of the liberal frame of mind that now that Trump has won again, there are multiple creators on tiktok teaching people how to migrate/leave the country. As if that's an option for everyone?? Like who is that advice for. The vast majority of us cannot afford to pick up and leave, find a residency in another country and jobs that can support ourselves/families, work through the citizenship process, and then get nationalized? It's an expensive process, most countries require either a parent born on the land or that you own land and live there for 5+ years, AND again, expensive as all shit??? Like what are we to do. We literally cant all leave. Many of us know people who wouldn't even be eligible to immigrate elsewhere, since some countries have Actual Health parameters you have to meet to migrate (see Australia not allowing diagnosed autistics to immigrate). Not to mention friends and family members who are immigrants working through the process here in the US still. That's not an option for most people. It's just giving white-liberal, one intersectionality per person vibes. Its stupid, and reductive.
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol
#purrs#delete later#not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really#comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel#where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it#all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugl#and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fuckin#getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest#colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought#we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight#we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the#participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day#and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half o#them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we#did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like…#have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also#HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a#failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as#emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i#failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year#and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jf#like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE#PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and#we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting#everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid#bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i#get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i#am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done.#ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that#just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol
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sh1-n0bu · 10 months ago
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♡︎ 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 ♡︎
characters: AFAB!sub!jing yuan, dan heng, blade x gn!dom!reader
warnings: AFAB characters, overstimulation, headcannon+small drabble format, praise, degrading, cock/strap traditions, dacryphilia, usage of bullet vibrator, slight brat taming, nipple stimulation, fingering, oral, cervix fucking, begging, squirting, clit pinching, cock/strap warming, size kink, belly bulge, breeding, creampie, mating press, full nelson, just a personal headcannon of how i think they would act when overstimulated
notes: someone wrote “nobody writes ahegao quite like nobu does” in one of their repost tags and im fucking shitting tears😭😭
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the giggler
jing yuan loves to be overstimulated. he loves the feeling of it, the adrenaline rush, the high, the feeling of finally cumming all over your fingers, tongue, strap whatever it may be and the feeling of you continuing to move, drawing out his orgasm while also driving him into an overstimulated mess
has the cutest giggles and laughs when he gets too much pleasure. he doesn’t even try to hide or won’t even try to hide it. why would he when you were making him feel so good over and over again? hell, he even wants other people to hear it, to remind them that you were his lover and only his. and how only he gets to feel the overwhelming amount of pleasure only you can bring to him and no one else
but, it comes with a catch. he needs a lot of foreplay and/or teasing and/or orgasm denial for him to finally cave in and shake his head before starting to blabber incoherent shit about how good your cock feels inside his gushing pussy, how he could feel your tip fucking his cervix, how he wanted you to fuck a baby inside him etc etc
and i mean a LOT of it
as a centuries old war hardened general, it’s safe to say that he had gotten used to some feelings and emotions. pleasure being one of them
so if you want to get him to break and to become absolutely dumb and drunk on lust and pleasure, you have to tease him a lots before getting into it. if not, he will somehow find a way to outsmart you and take the reigns. he’s a bit of a brat and a spoiled prince wrapped up into one after all
will tell you what to do and how to do it if you have failed in getting him needy in your foreplay. he will fist your hair and thrust his hips into your mouth, making you unable to breath for a moment or two with his clit right at your nose. will push you down and flip your positions so he could ride your face, all the while chuckling at your cute attempt to push him back down. a goddamn brat and he will show it to the fullest when you fail at your foreplay
did i mention he was a brat? well now i have. a fucking brat to the max and he isn’t ashamed of it. will definitely question your power in the bedroom, try to overpower you and he will. he literally swings a 7000kg glaive in one hand like its nothing and he will show it by throwing you around. gently and consensually of course, he wouldn’t want to hurt his beloved
but fully expect him to be cocky and devious. “can you say no to my pretty pussy?”, “so sleepy. oh sorry, i didn’t know your cock was inside me hehe”, “was that all?” you get the gist. will shamelessly yawn in the middle of fucking not because he is sleepy or tired, but simply because he is a brat. a goddamn brat
so, how can you get him to be needy and won’t make him go into his bratty side? simple. shove a long distance controlled vibrator inside his cunt and leave it there for the whole day for him to suffer at work. but if you’re going to do that, be sure to mute the ringtone for your phone for the day since he will call you, send you messages, pictures, videos every damn hour. the closer his hour for shift ending comes, the more frequent the buzzing of your phone will become because he will grow much more needier
when finally he’s back home and frantically pawing at your pants when barely through the doors, that’s when you know he had absolutely no intention of being a brat. how can he when his whole pants were slowly getting stained from his multiple orgasms?
when he’s gladly bending himself over, arching his back for you as he wiggles his hips, he will ask you to come inside. jing yuan is great with kids and such a huge family man, he will ask you over and over repeatedly to breed him. cum inside him, fill up his cute dripping cunt, put him in whatever position you want and make sure to breed his pretty cunt, you can finally raise your own family together!
remember the long distance controlled vibrator i mentioned? make sure to keep it on and buzzing inside his cunt at all times when he’s away at work, or else it won’t work. during meetings or report hearings, jing yuan had to leave to the bathroom a lot of times and it genuinely got his subordinates concerned for his health. the red face, the heavy breathing and sometimes, the jolts of his body or the bleeding bruised lips of his made the cloud knights worry and some even suggested for him to leave the seat of divine foresight early to look after his health. if only they knew just how their dearest general was pathetically biting on his hand to muffle his screams in the bathroom as he squirted all over himself
“[naaammeee], ‘m mmgh♡︎! aaaaangh haah mngck♡︎♡︎ i-i’m home!” jing yuan’s voice called out, weak mewls of pleasure slipping through as he collapsed onto the floor the moment the doors of your shared home was closed. desperately humping the floor, trying to push the vibrator deeper into his gushing pussy, your lover didn’t realize that you were leaning against the wall of the kitchen, watching him with a knowing smile. there was a wet patch growing in his usual red pants, growing more and more the further he humped the air in desperation. see? your tough brat was so easy to tame.
“you feeling okay, darling?” you call out, taking out the controlled from your pants pocket and messing with the switch. flipping it up, down, up to the highest level, before going to the lowest level. it was cute to see the ever so tough brat turn into a delirious mess from just a single small toy. all because he was being so stubborn about how you weren’t the boss of him. walking over to where he was kneeling on the floor, you reach your free hand out. tilting his head up, a thumb swiping away at the drool that was beginning to pool on his lower lip, you tilt your head to the side, asking the question again with a firm hold onto his chin.
“n-no…! no no no, not at aamgh♡︎♡︎ h-hhaaaggm not at all♡︎!” he shakes his head viciously, dragging out his words and tripping over them with moans and mewls falling in between. pathetically, he tugs on the hem of your pants, trying to get to his favorite treat, the one thing he’s been missing this whole day.
“n-need you… need you right now, need your—♡︎♡︎! need yo-our..! c-cock right now...♡︎!” jing yuan mutters between whimpers, finally, his shaky hands manage to pull down your pants and undergarments just enough to have your strap out. a needy whine falling as he places slobbering wet kisses on the tip, giving it a few licks as he flutters his lashes at you in an effort to manipulate you to give him what he was non-verbally asking.
knowing full well that he wouldn’t take no for an answer and that yanqing might come home soon, you drag him up to his feet — an action that was heavily protested against as jing yuan cries out after his favorite treat being taken away. once inside the comfort of your shared bedroom, by the time you have locked the door behind you, he was already naked. clothes messily strewn on the floor and on the bed, the many orgasm’s slick dripping down his puffy cunt to his ass and to the bedsheets eventually. you could see the light trembling of his pussy lips, an action caused by the vibrator fucking away inside him still.
turning the vibrator off, you take the toy out of his puffy cunt. jing yuan let out a drawn out mewl at the feeling, clenching around nothing as he tries to replace the empty feeling for something, anything. but seeing you starting to strip, he knew what he wanted. and he knew how he wanted it.
spreading his legs open further, his hand comes down, flicking at his enlarged clit with a jolt before spreading open his labia for you to take in how he was already so needily wet and dripping for you. a drunk giggle escaping him when the tip of your cock is right against his folds, wiggling his hips enticingly.
“[nnaameeee]~ you gotta fuck a baby in me this time, owhkayyy?♡︎♡︎ hehehe♥︎”
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the crybaby
the cutest out of all three of them, in my personal opinion
he just gets overstimmed so easily and quickly, it’s adorable in the way that he brokenly begs for a moment of respite. legs shaking, smaller body jolting violently at the smallest of touches like your hand ghosting over his hardened nipples. don’t even get me started on the way he cutely squeals out loud when you pinch his clit augh
maybe it’s due to his nature as a vidyadhara and not a full human but every little touch is received with so much sensitivity and sensuality, it gets so easy to turn him into a blabbering mess in record time. push his smaller body against the wall and finger his gushing pussy while rolling your thumb over his clit. in no time, his legs are shaking as he bites your hand, his orgasm washing over him quickly and violently. but don’t just stop there, keep flicking at his clit, pinch it, tug on it, push a hand on the small bulge on his belly and he’ll be left sobbing by the second or third round
he’s noticeably smaller than the other two and it carries out into his size kink so well. he just wants to be pushed around and put into impossible, near painful positions and man-handled until he’s left a blabbering idiot
make him cockwarm you while asking him to read you a story or a book under the guise that you had a nightmare and can’t fall asleep without his soothing voice and soft cunny wrapped around your cock. at first he’ll huff and puff, saying that you’re a liar and just wants to fuck him. four or five pages in and his voice is already strained, whines coming out as hiccups and sniffles follow soon after
but just because he’s a crybaby doesn’t mean he’s an idiot. he knows how much you love his pretty steel grey eyes unfocused and hazy, brimming with tears and he will use that to his advantage. will make sure to play with his nipples or push down on the bulge in his tummy when cockwarming you so he could get teary eyed quicker. the moment he sniffles and grinds himself down on you, he knows you’re a goner and would give him what he wants
he may be a crybaby, but he’s also a goddamn minx so beware of that
tugs on your sleeve so cutely, looking at you with a flushed face and stuttered words to ask you if you wanna spend time with him in his room. today’s trailblazing expedition was too long and tiring after all, “surely you would enjoy some cuddles…?” or “i just wanted to help you patch up your wounds. i was just worried”
yeah sure, dan heng. just say that you wanna get fucked until you’re squealing out like a slut with fat tears running down your cute red cheeks. thank the aeons the express’ walls are thick and soundproof. if not, who knows the amount of noise complaint you would have gotten from everyone
has slight oral fixation. slightly. but that’s only because he wants to see you crumble and give into his non-verbal demands and just ruin him. he’s a bit too shy to ask directly after all
long serpentine tongue wrapping around your strap, pulling it into his mouth. will gag and choke so loudly with the tip of the fat dildo pushed right down his throat, hitting his uvula and choking his throat. he can complain about sore throats and pained jaws all he wants but you both know that he loves to suckle on your strap with tears filling his eyes
the most messiest cock sucker and that’s saying something bc blade is the one who has the biggest oral fixation out of the three of them. he’ll place wet kisses to the weeping tip of your cock, running the slitted snake like tongue over the weeping slit of your cock teasingly before wrapping it around your dick. loves the scent and the taste of your pre, basically addicted to it as he opens his mouth wider, slipping your cock inside the warm cavern of his mouth inch by inch
but be aware that he will also try to take advantage of this position. he will try to bat his lashes at you so he can continue suckling on your strap like he would be sucking on a lolipop, all under the guise to ‘make you happy’. when in reality, he would try to make you cum over and over to try and get you overstimulated. when in such position, just fist his hair and fuck his throat. gets him crying in no time like the crybaby he is
“… bamboo whispers in the w-wind, a secret pa-aaangh! aah aaah hmgk♡︎ a s-secret pa-act... ♡︎!“ the soothing voice of your lover drawls out into a weak sniffle, hands gripping the book filled with love poetry from his home planet tightly. so tight, you feared that he might just tear the book apart with his claws. you had crawled into his bed yet again to torment him today, the dildo hitting all the sensitive spots in his gushing cunt, dan heng couldn’t help but weakly whine when your hands around his waist tightens to not let him move.
“go on. i’m listening” you coo out, forcing him to stay still on your lap while his voice continue to drawl out. sniffles and broken pleads replacing his ever so stoic mask, a voice that is usually so cold and distant, always scolding other turning into one of mindless blabber about how badly he wanted your strap to fuck his pussy. you couldn’t help but laugh.
“is that what it says on the pages? i may be still learning the strokes but the next line seems to be the stroke for two” you point at the kanji on the book he was holding in his shaking hands, the strokes of the language seeming familiar to you. it was an easy kanji to read after all. yet not to your boyfriend it seems.
“please! p-please please move! i beg you, [n-naamee]♡︎ you gotta fuck meeh♡︎ you gotta fuck me you gotta fuck me— you have to fuck meeegck—♡︎♡︎!!” dan heng squeals, shaking thighs bucking down onto your dick, trying to gain some friction. it was enough, he had read you hundreds of love poetries from his home planet. he had been taking your pronged torture for long enough, please just fuck his cunt already!
“so impatient” you huff, putting the book away with a book marker tucked between the pages before hooking your hands under his knees. pulling him up and over until dan heng was left wailing at the sudden change in position. hooking your arms under his knees, his legs are left dangling in the air with nothing to support himself but for his hands to cling to your biceps. even then, he couldn’t hold for long as he jolts about in your arms like a hopping bunny, painting your dildo in his cum when the tip kissed his cervix.
“guuchk♥︎!! d-deep! aah ah naahmg haah t-too deep♡︎♡︎ [n-name] you’re f-fucckk fuck fuck—♡︎♥︎ fucking my cerviinxx my ceerrvv—♡︎♡︎ mngh unngya♥︎!” punched out sobs comes from his pretty lips, drawling out into whiny cries when you move him up and down. you could see the bulge in his tummy appear and disappear every little moment. every jolt, every gasp, every little whiny cry making the bulge in his tummy to get more detailed. he was so adorably small.
“‘m sorry, darling. i’m sorry, didn’t mean it. didn’t mean to fuck you this deep” you coo out apologies, lifting him just a bit so your strap won’t sink so deep to the point it would kiss his cervix. as much as you loved your crybaby gasping and writhing, you didn’t want the reason for such reaction to be pain.
claws scratching at every inch of skin he could touch, jaw slack open in a silent scream, you could barely make out his shrill yell of what appears to be your name when dan heng squirts over your cock after just a few thrusts. you could see the overflowing amount of cum just dripping down your cock, trailing down to your legs and staining the mattress. with a click of your tongue, you pinched his clit, making the shorter man sniffle with a squeal.
“‘m soowryyy… sorry sorry—♡︎ d-didn’t mean to be bad... s-soowwh uunhg hyaagk ungc gugcck—♥︎♥︎!!”
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the hissy bitch
alright, so i know i’m going into territory that has been charted way too many times before by blade lovers standard but he def has piercings. on his nipples, tongue and on his clit. probably got the first three by losing a drunk bet or something or maybe he just wanted it but the last one, the clit one, is definitely his latest piercing. one that he got after his relationship with you began and he had made the sudden rash decision to get one so he could see your reaction and to feel you just messing with it while fucking him
there is a REASON why he always keeps his chest bandaged up. there is a goddamn reason and that reason is his nipple piercings and the fact that his chest is generally very sensitive im being delusional
so what does that bring and why have i specified it? simple. titty fucking. nipple stimulation. seeing his pretty big, round chest jiggle every time your cock sinks back into his dripping cunt. pinch it, roll it, tug on them, suckle on them, do anything to him with his nipple piercing and he’s scratching at your back, mauling it like an animal
the reason i see him as a hissy bitch is because he likes to throw small temper tantrums when he gets too overstimulated. he’s crying, begging, hitting your shoulders, back, scratching at them and leaving deep red scratch marks, perhaps even breaking the skin sometimes. how come blade get overstimulated quickly? because he is very touch deprived. he’s been alone and immortal for too damn long and his ass is fucking touch starved. i just know it in my bones
genuinely, he is indeed very touch starved. since his rebirth as an immortal, he had felt nothing but pain, anguish and suffering and therefore, has basically gotten immune to touches. especially the violent and bloody ones. but gentle, tender, affectionate ones? find him jumping away from your soft hands like a frightened cat, it’s goddamn heartbreaking. so when he finally gets his cunt fucked, blade would be overstimmed too fast due to receiving a sudden abundance of affection and touches
will shake his head ‘no’ when asked if you would wanna stop due to his tears. you were just concerned but blade didn’t wanted this onslaught of pleasure to stop. desperately rides your fingers, mouth, strap — anything. loves the feeling of being on top of you, gives him the slight feeling of being in control. until it all gets thrown out the window when you force him to stop bouncing, hands gripping his hips tightly as a warning. will whine and try to grind down, trying to chase that high again but will only end up with a pout and hissy tears falling down his cheeks
another one who loves the feeling of being stuffed full and overstimulated. it’s almost like he gets high from the feeling. loves having his pussy fucked in any way you please until he can’t stay on his hands or feet without shaking. it’s just so cute to see him shaking like a fawn when fucking him doggy style
prepare to have yourself used as a chew toy as well as a scratcher. blade’s almost like a cat, hissy and whiny but also so greedy and preferring certain things in certain manner. will bite at your shoulders, hands, fingers to muffle himself but also to try and get his shit together. will scratch at your back, thighs, wherever he could reach. such a spoiled brat
when eating him out, be sure to give an extra care and love to his clit piercing. constantly flicking it with your tongue would usually work though, gets his legs all shaky and jolty soon enough. maybe pair it with flicking his pierced nubs and bladie will be squirting into your mouth with an embarrassing high pitched shriek. make sure to clean up all of his mess before diving right back into his gushing cunny. he may not say it but he will expect you to go back to eating him out like he’s your last meal
has the BIGGEST oral fixation out of the three of them. like, down bad, delicious, scrumptious, sloppy oral fixation. and he is happy to give it 90% of the times due to his tongue piercing. knows how good it makes you feel and how you like to see his pretty face between your legs, sucking on the large dildo like his life depends on it. not a single thought or a single moment of choking from him, it’s almost like he doesn’t have a gag reflex
you just came back from mission, from being away from him even for a single day? unacceptable. let him bend over for you, you can get your stress out by fucking his already dripping wet pussy. too tired? that’s fine. take of your pants and get comfortable cuz’ he can stay between your legs for days
not a single minute of respite has greeted you ever since you came back from your latest mission, stepping foot into your shared home with your stoic lover. perhaps the single gentle kiss to your cheek before he started to leave slobbering wet kisses on your lips was the only warning and moment of rest you have gotten. not even shoes off yet and blade was already unbuckling your belt, giving you the puppy eyes and grumbling about how you’ve been away for too damn long. whining about how much he missed you and needed your strap to fuck him dumb. how his pretty pussy had missed you so much.
“n-nnghyaa♡︎♡︎ m-missed you... missed you s’ much, [name]! f-fuck me fuck me fuck me, fuck your favorite cunt gyyuck—♥︎♥︎ a-aaanh! haah ah ah mmngk—♡︎♥︎!!” unusually docile red eyes roll to the back of his skull, jaw going slack wide open as you push his legs up, feeling your strap hit him deeper than he thought was possible. he could feel your weight push him down, keeping it still on the bed and to stop him from wiggling his hips entirely. this new position caused his cat like pupils to widen, turning into heart shapes as you chuckle at the dazed look in his eyes.
“such a needy brat” you coo out in a condescending manner, pushing his legs up in the air with your hands hooked under his knees to keep him in place. pulling out until halfway out, you sink back into blade’s dripping cunt. a squeal tearing from his throat alongside the filthy wet squelch of his cunt tightening around your dildo. it was so easy to get him dumb.
“t-too nngh much! too muchtoomuchtoomuch♡︎! fucking m-my womb—♡︎ [n-name], y-youuwrr crush— crushing my wombgg aangh ah ah! gyyuck eengh aaangh nyaagh♥︎♥︎!!” the familiar feeling of his nails scratching at your arms takes place, tearing at the skin, clawing at any part of your body he can come in contact with. a desperate attempt to ground his already long gone mind, too deep into the throes of pleasure that he didn’t even realize his shaking hands were weakly pulling your hips to fuck deeper into his warm walls.
“don’t be so dramatic, bladie. i won’t be able to crush your womb in this position” you coo out mockingly, wiping away the fat globs of tears that continue to pour of his eyes. red and yellow eyes rolled to the back of his skull, wide open mouth letting out the most salacious squeals and shrieks of your name and how you were fucking his womb falling out. legs weakly dangling in the air, jolting and bristling at every deep thrust you fuck into his velvety walls. the lewd wet squelching noises were alongside your grunts and blade’s whiny sobs were the only noise in the room. you would probably get noise complaints the next morning due to blade’s loudmouthed blabbering self.
letting go of one of his legs, you shove your fingers into his mouth. almost as if it was an instinct, blade’s tongue wet your fingers. suckling on the two digits as it his life depended on it with the most cutest heart shaped pupils staring at you. once you deemed them wet enough, you take your fingers out of his mouth. an action that blade showed his hatred towards as his pierced tongue comes past his lips, trying to chase after your fingers.
“gghcck—♡︎♥︎♥︎♥︎!!” a sharp wail taking place as blade arches his back, his whole body shaking, soft big tits jiggling when you pinched at his pierced clit. rolling, tugging, flicking at the hardened nub as blade sobs about cumming before drenching your cock with his squirting. you had thought of him to be satisfied with it, but turns out you have underestimated your lover’s neediness when his strong scarred thighs comes to wrap around your waist, legs locked behind your back when you tried to pull out.
sigh… it’s times like this that makes you glad for your amount of stamina.
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demon-of-the-ancient-world · 3 months ago
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Dune dashboard simulator
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🤖justice-4-machines Follow
friendly reminder that the butlerian jihad was an atrocity and violation of human rights :))
🌌spice-snorter2828 Follow
Tell me you know nothing about the Butlerian Jihad without telling me you know nothing about the Butlerian Jihad
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🤴imperial-bussy Follow
I know I know eat the rich and all that but have you SEEN Shaddam IV in his 20s????? we didn't stand a chance
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🐛shai-hulud-bignaturals Follow
🌏idont-likesand Follow
...fellas is it time for a second butlerian jihad yet?
🤺weirding-gay Follow
I'm crying didn't he literally purge his 30th planet TODAY?? you're sick
🦠 gaydi-prime-ribs Follow
ppl saying kill as if they could even if they tried lmao
🏜 treading-rhythmically Follow
"people are choosing fuck when he doesn't even fuck his own wife??? as if" skill issue. im here & im pegging him.
🧿realwormrider Follow
Okay in all seriousness this is fucked up. I know people cope in different ways but he is LITERALLY a dictator and a colonizer. People like you who make light of that is the REASON SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPENS!!! Maybe YOU haven't suffered at the hands of his holy war yet but ffs have some compassion for those who have
🏜 treading-rhythmically Follow
or you could just...block the emperor muad'dib tag?? the best you can do in times like these is curate your own life to the best of your abilities my dude
🧿realwormrider Follow
Or OTHER PEOPLE could just NOT SEXUALIZE DICTATORS!!!! Also - what about the WOMEN in his life who are currently also suffering because of him??? no love for them I see??
🏜 treading-rhythmically Follow
ok im gonna sexualize him though
🐛shai-hulud-bignaturals Follow
@/realwormrider make your own post why don't you
🏄‍♂️surfin-thedunes Follow
@/realwormrider wants to fuck him so bad it makes them look stupid
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💧freminomenon Follow
Sigh. some idiot brought a fucking shield into the Sietch. time to evacuate while a motherfucking grandfather of a worm demolishes it ig.
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🍝sandworm-spaghetti Follow
*reminds a kindergartener to use their indoor voice but they're the kwizatz haderach and use their Indoor Voice From The Outer World to yeet my ass into the maw of the Maker*
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🎆arena_girllll Follow
Once again because apparently this HAS to be said: REGULAR FETISH GEAR IS *NOT* GEIDI PRIME APPROPRIATION!!!! There is a world of difference between our traditional clothing and bondage stuff. I'd argue that insinuating they're the same thing or even similar is far worse. If you want proper examples of GP clothing my ask box is open, if you're going to "defend" a culture from appropriation get your facts from someone WITHIN THAT CULTURE for fucks sake
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💋tleilaxu-catgirl-meow Follow
Heard Thufir Hawat had to milk a cat to get the poison out of his body...not to be That Girl but hmmm could've milked me instead and I wouldn't be mad
👽simpin4sandworms Follow
Where's that guy who calls for a second Butlerian Jihad on cursed horny posts?
🐮tired-ass-bullfighter Follow
hate to break it to you op but i'm pretty sure this didn't happen and is actually just harkonen propaganda
not saying it couldn't happen though live your dreams
🌵bless-themaker-bless-hiswater Follow
by the Mahdi you people are dogs. i will reblog as usual.
🪐ix-the-tenth Follow
none of these words are in the oc bible
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🐀muaddib-did-nothing-wrong Follow
PAUL ATREIDES IS LITEARLLY DISABLED YOU GUYS!!! I CAN'T STOP YOU HATING ON HIM BUT ABELIST "JOKES" HAVE NO PLACE HERE!!!!!
🌺settler-of-kaitan Follow
...since when tf is he disabled
✋i-must-fear Follow
He literally has??? no eyes????
🌺settler-of-kaitan Follow
Ok but he can still see though
✨not-a-fedaykin Follow
sigh. not me being the one to explain AGAIN that his oracular vision is a disability aid, not something that erases it entirely. from what I understand he sees a couple seconds into the future by use of prescience, it's not the same thing as Actual Sight. (not a supporter, just someone with an unfortunate hyperfixation)
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🏞 caladan-fake-news Follow
Shame Paul Mudad'dib Atreides became a Spice-addicted despot bc I bet he would've made some sick podcasts if given the chance
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☢️blessthecumming&goingofhim Follow
THE MUDAD'DIB WAS AN IMPORTANT FREMEN SYMBOL *LONG BEFORE* YOU-KNOW-WHO . ME HAVING A MOUSE TATTOO DOES *NOT* MAKE ME A SUPPORTER OF P*** A****** OR HIS GOVERNMENT. I HATE ALL OF YOU.
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🪰 melange-maxxing Follow
soooooo apparently there's a stone burner on arrakis now :) if I don't post for a while its bc i'm on the waitlist for tleilaxu eyes fyi
💧freminomenon Follow
this post is 8 months old should we be worried?
✨not-a-fedaykin Follow
Not true op. pls stop spreading incorrect information without a source, you're no better than the people who claim they brought back duncan idaho
🌴fear-is-the-dick-killer Follow
ummmmmm they literally did bring Duncan Idaho back???? don't claim information is false when YOU haven't done your research maybe???
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♟real-harkonnens-dni Follow
Guys....I know I said I wouldn't do rpf but the new transcript of the conversation before Paul's ascension that just came out??? I'm tempted to jump on the threesome train and write Shaddam/Paul/Feyd-Rautha it's actually destroying my sleep schedule.
In this translation the term Shaddam uses to describe Leto I COULD translate to "honorable" but some say it COULD translate to something closer to "beloved"????????? I'm???
So it got me thinking...if..you know...he and Leto I....what would he think of Paul, his only living descendent? (and don't come at me with the "he's underage stuff", HE WAS 18) ahhhhhhh idk maybe I'm too deep into this but I wanna see the 3 of them together so badly 😭😭
♟real-harkonnens-dni Follow
OKAY OKAY I DID IT! I GAVE IN
Last Drop of Blood
Shaddam IV/ Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen/ Paul Atreides, 9K, Rated E [WILL CROSS POST TO AO3 LATER]
Read More
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🧿realwormrider Follow
@/shai-hulud-bignaturals told me to "make my own post" so here it is 🙃
Fuck, Marry, Kill: Irulan Corrino
(answer in tags bc my polls option got fucked)
👾shy-hulud Follow
your polls option getting fucked was a sign for you not to make this post
🌆lurkin-inthe-blackgoo Follow
Lmaooooooo as if she's any better she's the daughter of one emperor and wife to another. idc how much she's "suffered" by being married to mudad'dib she's still immensely privileged and a fellow colonizer. you are not morally superior for being horny about her instead of her husband lolllll
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🧠spice-sexual Follow
kinda want to fuck a guild navigator who's stopping me
💋tleilaxu-catgirl-meow Follow
^^^
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🧿realwormrider Follow
You thought this was fucking over?
Her Desires
Irulan Corrino x Reader, 12K
Read More
♟real-harkonnens-dni Follow
Omg
I'm in tears of ???? joy???
literally my hands are shaking you never miss op 🥵
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b1adie · 8 months ago
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seeing ppl say shit like this drives me fucking wild ok like the twt one was a comment abt chris niosi and the tumblr one is obv about genshin’s racism and like. “ughhh im so tired of everyone getting mad at everything” ok so what should we do. should we just sweep it under the rug and smile and ignore serious issues so yooouuuu dont have to think about anything for once in your fucking life?? should people who are being hurt by these things just suck it up and be silent about their pain so you can play your little gacha game without feeling a little bit sad :(?
i honestly just don’t understand it. like people who are upset about sunday’s va MAYBE being recast, like, i understand having enjoyed his performance in the role, but doesnt knowing what you know now kind of ruin that for you? i also liked his performance, but knowing what i know now sours it for me.
sorry for venting just. omfg. seeing someone acting like “wahhh im so tired of having to be mildly inconvenienced by the pain of others, why cant everyone just suffer in silence so i dont have to feel any negative feelings ever” makes me want to rip them apart with meat hooks. ohhh your funny silly game time is slightly interrupted by having to hear about the trauma of abuse victims? thats so sad. even sadder than the actual fucking abuse those people experienced yeah for sure. go to hell
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thehypnone · 4 months ago
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rain and zephyr comfort. I wrote it for my bf but im posting it for any disabled/chronically ill person who needs to hear this
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zephyr startles when the door to their room bursts open. they're ready to scold whoever is that has zero regards to their privacy, but their features soften immediately upon seing rain
rain with his cheeks splotchy from crying, chocking on tears
"what's wrong, puddle?"
"everything" rain sobs
"c'mere" the air ghoul shuffles over in their bed and lifts the covers to invite rain. they also move over one side of their pregnancy pillow so that the water ghoul can get inside it
rain sniffles, kicks the door shut and crawls into zephyr's nest
"now, why are we so upset?" they ask
"I just--I tried to make myself fucking dinner and--and I couldn't"
"what happened with dinner?"
"i couldn't open a jar and then--then i dropped so many things because my--my hands are weak and i couldn't open a can either and--and then i fucking passed out so it boiled over and made a mess everywhere. im useless!"
"you are not useless, and you know that, puddle. you're just disabled"
"i don't want to be disabled!" rain wails, hiding his face in his hands. zephyr rubs his back
"i know, sweet thing" they sigh "nobody wants to be disabled, but we are. all we can do is find things that we *are* able to do and find joy in them. there's nothing wrong with the fact that you cant open a jar or a can. they're tricky for able bodied people, too!"
"im so tired, zeph"
"i am, too, puddle"
"sorry, i shouldn't have you--you've got it worse..."
"it's not a competition. i may have more issues than you, but at the end of the day we are both drowning. and i only meant it as--that I understand. probably the most out of all the people you've ever met"
"i know...i just--we didn't do anything to deserve a life like that"
"we didn't. i like to think about my life as...as lucifer sending me other things to make it bearable despite everything"
"like what?"
"music. the opportunity to see the world with the band. my pack, my mate. you. it's all worth so much more than all the suffering and until i have at least one of these thing left, i won't give up. depression and grief is a part of being disabled, but it doesnt mean we dont deserve happiness, too."
"i know...it's just--so hard to accept"
"i know it is, puddle" zephyr brings an arm around rain and pulls him down to cuddle "but it'll become more bearable. i promise you"
there's a brief moment of silence before rain mutters "thank you"
"always, sweet thing. we're in this together"
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firesnap · 1 year ago
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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
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I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU
(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)
eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)
god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD
god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.
you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️
he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man
cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)
BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN
I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME
#he did many things wrong BUT I PROMISE YOU HE IS MORE AWARE THAN YOU ARE#HE HATES HIMSELF MORE THAN YOU EVER COULD#this post has been building a lot because i just kEEP SEEING ALBUS HATERS AND ITS DRIVING ME INSANE#i am albus potters defence lawyer actually#also eloise bridgertons i am seeing far too many people jumping on that hate train#i know shes going through her im not like other girls i hate pink phase but OF COURSE SHE IS#SHE LIVES IN THE 1800S WOMEN ARENT ALLOWED TO DO SHIT SHE FEELS TRAPPED IN A BOX AND ALL SHE SEES IS OTHER PEOPLE PLAYING THEIR PARTS#i could talk about her a lot more but this isnt the time or place 😔✋🏻 eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you#also sansa stark i havent even watched game of thrones but i would fight to the death to defend her#her only crime was being a naive child and yet people hate her mercilessly#these are the people coming to me off the top of my head but there are countless fucking others#we are witnessing the death of media literacy and the death of nuance and its killing me i cannot fucking do this#i sincerely hope anyone complaining about al dont ever have teenage children because they will be shit at supporting or understanding them#hpcc#harry potter#albus potter#scorpius malfoy#years spent on tumblr and i still dont know how to tag#albus severus potter#harry potter and the cursed child#scorbus#is it cheeky if i tag bridgerton or game of thrones?#it feels cheeky 😔#the marauders#tagging that too because that fandom are fucking perpetrators of this#(said as someone in it dont come for me)
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devils-little-sistaaa · 1 month ago
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ok soooooo. I was originally going to make a statement about how Nico and Regulus are totally different and should never be associated with each other. But ended up going on a whole rant. But anyway look at these memes and if you don’t want to see the rant just scroll past it. But please look at these memes. Especially those of you still into Harry Potter and especially those of you who think Nico and Regulus have anything common.
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I am so tired of seeing Harry Potter shit in the Nico and PJO fandom dude you don’t even know! (Entire universe of Harry Potter needs to be obliterated and faded into obscurity for all its racist and terf flaws. But as someone who actually read Harry Potter once back in the day let me just say: NICO AND REGULUS DO NOT HAVE A GOD DAMN THING IN COMMON. NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. AND IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF YALL SAYING THEYRE THE SAME VARIANT / SAME CHARACTER BECAUSE THEYRE SO NOT THEYRE TOTALLY DIFFERENT. AS SOON AS NICO GETS A BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF WHO REGULUS IS AS A PERSON AND THE SHIT HES DONE NICO WOULD BRUTALLY MURDER HIM ON SIGHT. REGULUS IS BASICALLY HIS UNIVERSES VERSION OF A NAZI. AND NICO A GREW UP SUFFERING UNDER MUSOLINI RULE AND IS ONE OF THE KINDEST MOST ACCEPTING AND OPEN MINDED PEOPLE IN PJO UNIVERSE. THEYRE NOTHING ALIKE. I TRIED TO LET THIS WHOLE “NICO AND REGULUS ARE THE SAME CHARACTER” THING SLIDE FOR SO LONG FOR SO MANY YEARS BUT I JUST CANT DO IT NO MORE I GOTTA PUT ME FIRST. I GOTTA PUT ME FIRST LUSCIOUS. AND THATS NOT LUSVIOUS FROM HARRY POTTER THAT IM TALKING ABOUT. THATS JUST FROM THAT ONE TIKTOK SOUND. OLD TIMTOK MEME. NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE CONNECTED TO HARRY POTTER. AW HELL NOTHING SHOULD EVER BE CONNECTED TO HARRY POTTER. LET THAT AWFUL UNIVERSE AND AWFUL CHARACTERS DIE ALREADY ESPICIALLY THE WIZARD NAZI ONES LIKE REGULUS. FUCK ALL OF YALL.
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kosmical · 7 months ago
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alr i'll bite what's isat
Omg thanks for opening pandoras box! You will regret this
In stars and time is the recent food source of my brain eating amoeba and it Will Not Leave. before i get into why im rabid about it though ill give a brief synopsis . putting a read more here because i suspect this post will get LONG.
its a game about a classic rpg party on the last two days of their quest to save the country from The King who is freezing everything, including people, in time. the main character, Siffrin, is the party's rogue who, upon going into the House of Change (the game's dungeon so to speak) and promptly dying, finds out that they're trapped in a time loop. they're the only one who remembers repeating the last two days- aside from a star named loop who helps him try and figure out whats going on, why, and how to break out.
Now personally ive never been invested in a time loop story?? Im not sure if thats because i havent consumed much media thats implemented it before as its main premise or if i just havent been interested but i think in stars and time meshes the two different genres a time loop story can fall into really well (the mystery and the emotional conflict).
The mystery is what drives you through the game (and there are other questions unrelated to the timeloop about siffrin's origin and the world itself that i think handle a variety of themes like loss of culture and personal transformation really well but thats a different tangent) but the emotional parts are what really got me. You have to watch almost in the backseat as Siffrin is like. Slowly depersonalized from the people they care about. All while refusing to tell them anything about their misery because they don't want to burden them or drag them into his suffering. Even happy moments that Siffrin doesnt mind repeating become tainted because it becomes a matter of acting so that the "scene" doesnt stray from its path and his party doesnt become suspicious.
and yet they still DO, both in regards to Siffrin's World Alteringly Terrible Case of the Mondays and the actual time loop. they notice how tired and fake he seems. one of my absolute favorite scenes is one where you interact with a closet and it provokes a conversation about where Siffrin got their cloak from and how long they've had it, because its really one of a kind. it has temperature regulatory magic imbued in the stitches and is made to grow with him. And siffrin just cant fucking remember. not only because hes been looping so long that its created a haze over his mind but because he has no true "identity." and as he's scrambling to fill in an answer for this hole in his head, a gust of wind hits his face because one of their friends, isabeau, flapped his cloak while inspecting it to ground him. and he disguises it by commenting on the thickness of the cloak.
Getting this scene by accident on my playthrough made me feel so many feelings dude like . Siffrin isn't the only one trying to hide things. Their friends care about him so much and they try to disguise how concerned thwy are and its just. Im . Im Normal.
its not just about that though . Like if you start finding shit a little too fast they'll start catching on to whats happening. a little sound effect will play whenever you know something you shouldn't know and the others notice and whenever it happened i was like. Twisting in my seat waiting for them to call me out.
it all builds up into this really fucking painful emotional climax that i will not talk about because i don't want to spoil more than i already have but omg. I was writhing. It was. Hhhggnngh.hfg. Glass shards in ym mouth yummy
On the topic of shit i cant talk about: My favorite character is this fucking thing
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I have held off from talking about loop's role in the story because i cant describe to you why they make me so ill. Not because i dont know Why but because it is something you should experience yourself. They're really charming and funny and their dialogue is fantastic. Of course that's part of the reason i lauve them but theres also the underlying secondary mystery of why they're here/who and or what they are/etc. And when u know. Its. I Cant Tell You. BUT ITS REALLY GOOD. ITS REALLY REALLY GOOD. Just know that if you get to the end and are still confused about them. That theres more than the main ending . AND IT IS PROBABLY WHY I AM SO INSANE ABOUT THIS GAME HONESTLY. I LOVE YOU FOREVER LOOP . im ok
In short: In stars and time is a game that is good and you should play it :) Im pretty sure its on sale right now on steam so yeah go get that.
if you made it through this fucking dissertation length post on isat CONGRATULATIONS ! heres some miscellaneous doodles ive done of it in the past month since ive played it love love
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starlightsuffered · 8 months ago
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Addiction
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Info - alcoholic reader, comfort, angst, comparing yourself to others, dark thoughts
“Im fucking disgusting,” I whispered to myself. I was rocking back and forth. Guilt overwhelmed me completely. I was in tears. I didn’t even want Timothée to see me. He was so pure and so good, and he deserved better than my trash self.
“Baby?” I heard his voice and I curled into a tighter ball.
“Baby; oh honey, what’s wrong?”
“Go away, I’m fucking poisonous,” I snarled. I heard him jerk back like I’d slapped him. I continued to cry.
“Please let me comfort you,” he whispered
“No, I don’t deserve it. I’m like a fucking serial killer. I get so angry and so sad-“
“I have a rage inside me I don’t think I’ll ever quell and a river of sadness,” Timothée corrected me. “I’m not a serial killer am I?”
“Of course you aren’t,” I wept.
“See-“
“But I’m not like you!” I screamed. I finally turned to him. I saw the man I loved. The pain in his eyes shone out like beams. He clearly cared for me so much.
“I am damaged, I am weak and stupid. I have so much jealousy and hate sometimes. I am not good. I am like a serial killer,” I burst out.
“You drank again didn’t you?” Timmy asked softly.
“Of course I did! I can’t do anything fucking right,” I exclaimed.
He came to me and though I fought back a little, he put his arms around me. He was always here for me. Always. He buried his face in my neck and took a deep breath. I knew he was exasperated.
“You are not bad, you are suffering from an illness. I know you feel bad for drinking again but recovery is not linear. It isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. I’m with you, I am your eternal supporter.”
“Timothée,” I said in a broken voice.
“You are strong. I am not better than you just because I don’t have an addiction. Everyone experiences those emotions you’re talking about. You are NOT bad, you are NOT like a serial killer. You are good and do so much for so many,” he said all this softly.
Shouted words might have shot through my brain and out just as fast. These slow, gentle phrases hung around in my atmosphere. I reeled them in ever so slowly.
“Thank you,” I gasped. I was still crying.
“What makes you want to drink?”
“I don’t know. I feel like a better person. I’m more accepting, my anxiety is gone, I get the urge to write long loving things to people. I don’t like myself, so I think it makes me better.”
“I love you so much more sober. You may be tired and other things, but you just glow with strength. It makes me well up with tears.”
“Thank you, thank you,” I breathed, turning so I could cry into his shirt. He held me as long as I needed.
@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming
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overb · 9 months ago
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SNIPPET: (how we feelin abt this?? i need opinions bcs im gen so unsure how to start this fic)
SUMMER SUFFERERS
roach: good morning fuckers (3:20AM)
roach: we are en route (3:20AM)
wall: so are we (3:25AM)
wall: and they aren't even awake yet (3:26AM)
doll: i am awake thank u very much (3:29AM)
doll: everyone else is asleep our alarms arent set till like 4:45 but i havent slept yet so!!!! (3:30AM)
===
The stairs dug into Tim’s back as he stretched across them, head flopped awkwardly to the side as he watched Alfred open the door. All of his siblings were sprawled across the main staircase, half asleep and very upset. It was 4:50AM, the first day of the Summer Meetup, and Bruce expected everyone to be downstairs to greet their arriving guests. It was a stupid idea, in Tim’s opinion, as everyone arrived as tired as each other.
Last summer Hal had shown up in shorts and one shoe, making it two steps into the manor before slumping against the wall and going straight to sleep. Any expectations left after the first five years of Summer Meetup’s went straight out the window.
The doorbell rang and Tim cracked open an eye to watch the first people stumble in. Alfred pulled open the door quickly, the only one in the Manor actually functioning, letting three bodies in.
They were people Tim didn’t recognise — fully awake people. People dressed in actual clothes; shorts and shirts and shoes and socks. What the fuck. Bruce hauled himself off of the wall and stuck a hand out, muttering something too quiet for anyone to hear. The man smiled at Bruce. He looked ready to talk, awake enough to talk, but put off by the glares all the kids were giving him.
Alfred ushered them further into the room, gesturing to a cleared corner for them to put their bags. They followed his instructions to the T, loitering awkwardly next to their suitcases. One of them — the youngest boy — spotted (the face down) Damian and waved happily. The other boy — the one who looked Tim’s age — laughed when Damian didn’t respond.
Stephanie was next in, unlocking the door with her key before anyone else could act. She managed a smile at Alfred before stumbling up the stairs, kicking Dick in the ribs and throwing herself down next to Cass.
The doorbell rang as soon as Steph closed her eyes. This time Barry, Wally and Bart rolled in. They were all half asleep, Bart bumping into the boy their age as he abandoned his bag. Tim managed a laugh at that, catching Bart’s attention. Wally was already cuddled up to Dick and Barry was slumped at Bruce’s feet, head resting against the man's legs by the time Bart reached Tim. He threw himself on top of him and started snoring, a spitting image of Barry’s own sounds.
Five minutes later Hal dragged himself into the Manor, joining Barry on the floor and passing straight out. Tim took it as a sign to also, finally, sleep, and let his eyes drift shut as they waited for the last group to arrive.
bcs like… i have so many ideas running thru my head for this i have no idea how to start ir
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onepiecereactions · 2 months ago
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24 Hours in Marineford : ON / OFF, Kizaru / Akainu
Note: OS number 3 of the 24 Hours in Marineford compilation.
Characters involved: Kizaru / Akainu. Friendship. Around 1K words.
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24 hours in Marineford. 03: 00 AM : Day – Night Admiral Kizaru was a very strange man. Few people could understand im properly.
Some said he was just eccentric, others that his devil fruit had fried his brain.
He claimed that he was the only normal guy on this planet. But fortunately for him, there was a man who knew him by heart by now.
Admiral Kizaru and Chief Admiral Akainu had spend time together almost every day for years now. They knew each other by heart and considered each other old friends. They knew that they could count on each other in all circumstances. But sometimes, the Yellow Admiral's madness tested the red dog's patience, especially since he had become Chief Admiral. He wasn't a particularly patient man, and his new duties were straining his nerves. He threw himself into his duty, waking up well before dawn, at 4:30 in the morning, and rarely going to bed before midnight. Sakazuki was used to this rhythm by now, but the short hours of sleep he did manage to get had become very precious to him.
And the entire Marineford HQ was perfectly aware that, unless Big Mom had suddenly decided to commit genocide at 01:00 am, there was no question of waking him up. And of course, all the soldiers scrupulously respected this order so as not to suffer the anger of the admiral in chief. All except one, of course. The yellow admiral really didn't care. He was an insomniac by nature and got bored as soon as Marineford went to bed. Usually, he was reading adult books until he finally fell asleep, or he would go for a walk along the port to stretch his legs. But that night, it was impossible to sleep. In these rare cases, the yellow admiral could find comfort with Admiral Fujitora who was just as insomniac as him. But the admiral had gone on a mission to Dressrosa. And the last admiral, Aramaki, was really too weird for him. His old friend Vegapunk was very difficult to reach by den den mushis because he was always immersed in his research. So there was only one man left. It was now three in the morning and it was still impossible for Borsalino to fall asleep. The yellow admiral then got up from his bed and, still in his pajamas, headed towards Sakazuki's apartment, right next to his. He entered without knocking, as usual, and saw that his friend was sleeping, so he sat on the sofa in the living room, looking through some boring books scattered on the coffee table.
But no matter what, sleep would not come. He was missing something important : adrenaline, to tire his body and force himself to fall asleep. And Borsalino was not the type to run for hours to train. No, he was more of the suicidal moron type.
He noticed the beautiful porcelain lamp on the coffee table and began to play with it. “On, off. On, off...”
The entire room lit up brightly every time the Admiral placed his Devil Fruit on the lamp, then plunged back into darkness a few seconds later. “On, off. On, off...” Tired of his unamusing little game, he linked his Devil Fruit to all the lights in Akainu’s home: the kitchen, the bathroom, the toilet, and of course, the bedroom where his old friend was sleeping. “On, off. On, off...” The entire house was now lit up before going dark again in a few seconds. This started to make the yellow admiral laugh slightly. that's why he decided to take it to an other level for more amusement. This time he connected to all the lights in the Marineford HQ, including the general hospital and the training rooms. “On, off. On, off...” As the Admiral turned the entire base on and off remotely, screams rose up in the base. Soldiers were bumping into each other, doctors were operating in the dark, generators were dying one after the other from being turned off and on again so hard. “CAN WE KNOW THAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING ?! " The terrifying scream of his old friend brought him back to reality in a split second, as a huge jet of lava coated in haki fall next to his face.
Finally, he had it! His dose of adrenaline to go to sleep!
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quietwingsinthesky · 6 days ago
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speaking of femslash. i feel like ive sent this ask before but lucy ac and lucy dw should kiss. blond women named lucy who have ended up working with the villain and got deeply fucked up about it
WAIT YEAH I SAW THAT AND I WENT ‘oh ill write something for that’ and then i didnt because my suffering never ends and there is only more studying of bones forever and ever and always BUT. i do need to take a break from that hold on ill be right back with a treat
im back. this was supposed to be a drabble. anyway they kiss now.
‘Out of your depth’ as it has always been used against Lucy is an insult, a phrase to shoo her away. Vapid, pretty Lucy, who couldn’t possibly understand, who belonged with a smile on someone’s arm and without a thought in her head.
Like most things, Lucy has found that assumption to be wrong. About her. About the words cast at her feet.
She is, especially now, especially with Harry, so entirely out of her depth. Despite that, her feet stand on stable ground. She knows, exactly, what she doesn’t understand and how to compensate and how to end up where she needs to be.
So, while Harry gets his fill of Abstergo’s finest, and Dr. Vidic talks unending drivel (all these things about societies, and people, and how the Animus will let them shape the world, or save it, or- Well, Lucy did stop listening, and from Harry’s pinched expression, he was barely restraining himself from forcing Abstergo to… replace Dr. Vidic), Lucy wanders. She does slip beneath people’s radars so well, when those people think they are smarter and more important than her. It’s Harry’s political favor Abstergo wants to woo to their side, and she’s just the wife.
She has her eyes set on someone in particular. The woman with her hands on the machine in the other room. The woman Dr. Vidic introduced quickly and dismissed even quicker. Lucy knows a kindred spirit when she sees one. The doors are unlocked, and she clicks her heels against the floor loud enough to announce herself. She lets her smile deflate a little, something tired but still kind, as though she’s overwhelmed by it all.
Half true, like most things about her.
“Oh,” says Dr. Stillman, “are-” She frowns, looks around Lucy for her missing escort. “Mrs. Saxon, I don’t think you should be in here.”
She comes closer anyway. There’s a little ID card, dangling on Dr. Stillman’s coat. She reads it, and she lets out a little laugh. “You’re a Lucy, too?” Dr. Stillman is as stiff as a board now, her eyes sharp. She looks a little like Harry does, some nights, when he’s whispering his horrors and all she can do is listen. She looks a little like Lucy feels, when she remembers how deep and dark the end of the universe was. Dr. Stillman forces her gaze back to the Animus, makes herself relax, and she’s not as good at this as Lucy is.
“Yes,” she answers, clipped. “Did you need something? I have work I need to be doing.” She can’t stop Lucy encroaching on her space. Lucy touches the Animus. It’s humming; it reminds her of the ship Harry flew them on, thinking, breathing life inside a metal shell. It takes DNA—Isn’t that what they’d said?—so how many lives are lost inside it, how many minds - She takes her hand off of the Animus.
Dr. Stillman eyes her questioningly.
“I just wanted to know,” Lucy says, voice lowered conspiratorially. Dr. Stillman’s brow wrinkles up. Poor thing will probably go grey before she’s thirty in this environment, but then again, considering what the future holds… “We had the tour of all the other machines, so what’s special about this one? Why do you keep it here?”
Dr. Stillman’s eyes betray her. They flick to another door. Locked steel. There’s something important back there, to whatever this machine is used for and to Dr. Stillman herself.
Secrets under the secrets. Harry’ll like that.
Lucy tips closer. It’s easy to invade her personal space. Dr. Stillman barely reacts, like she’s used to not having any.
Dr. Vidic had put a bad taste in Lucy’s mouth.
“What is it?” Lucy asks, innocently. “I won’t tell. Not even my husband, if you make me promise.” Dr. Stillman turns her head, and her eyes widen slightly when she sees how close Lucy is. She doesn’t pull back.
Lucy has always liked lost causes. Charities used to reek desperately like them. Harry had needed her terribly to make his plans work. The whole universe aims towards annihilation. Lucy Stillman is the best kind of caged animal, the one that accepts it and does its tricks for treats while the hours tick down on a life that would’ve lasted so much longer in the wild.
Lucy wants her badly.
“A volunteer,” Dr. Stillman lies, “for testing the Animus.” Lucy tilts her head. She isn’t subtle about looking at Dr. Stillman’s lips. She likes the way it unsettles Dr. Stillman more than she dislikes what she’s taking advantage of. “Mrs. Saxon-”
“Lucy.” She goes quiet, unsure if whose name that is.
It doesn’t matter. Lucy reaches up to touch her face.
She has soft lips, and she inhales quickly between the first kiss and the second, and Lucy takes her hands away from the Animus to tangle their fingers together.
She loves how little Dr. Stillman tries to escape. The easy way she answers to Lucy’s affection, squeezing her hands back, leaning into the kiss, letting herself have a taste of the world outside this sterile lab.
Lucy pets down the side of her cheek, the tips of her fingers lingering on Dr. Stillman’s jaw until her eyes flutter open again and try to focus.
“What lucky volunteers,” Lucy murmurs, “if they get to see you every day.”
Dr. Stillman’s lips move soundlessly. Then, “Subject s-” She stops herself.
‘Subject’ sounds a lot less willing than ‘volunteer’. Lucy could have guessed, but she savors the slip and the way Dr. Stillman’s hands clench tight when she realizes it.
Lucy steps back slightly, not taking her eyes off of her. Just in time, as the door to the lab opens and her husband trails Dr. Vidic with an incredibly bored expression.
“Harry,” she calls, “you found us!” She squeezes Dr. Stillman’s hand once, hidden behind the Animus, and lets it go. “We were having a wonderful little chat.” Vidic’s eyes graze past them both, but Harry looks at Lucy and reads every little meaning in her actions. He smiles.
She might just get to keep Lucy Stillman for herself later after all, if everything goes according to plan.
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triplegoths · 4 months ago
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i cant fucking take living like this anymore
i cant do it i have to end it soon theres literally nothing for me here anymore. its too much to do. im never gonna fucking have another close in real life relationship.
i want to just like order some food at work so im not more miserable being here but i dont have the strength or stomach to eat something. ill eventually try maybe. i dont know. the drugs make me not eat like a fucking sick dog already and everything rn just says i dont deserve it
i have no motive or energy to do anything but work or somethimes playing a game but even that were usually unable bc were too tired.
whats the fucking issue with me!!!! i just dont give a shit anymore i dont want to do anything nothing makes me happy everythinf eventually juat makes me feel scared and sick and weird. every time i try to make fun or have plans it goes horrible and it just feels worse so i wont anymore ill just fucking rot alone like life wants me to
nobody here can help me and if i could i couldnt afford it so who fucking cares its cheaper to kill myself and lose the body so they dont need funeral costs. theyd misgender and shave me anyway probably
im just so fucking over it all im never gonna be happy like this. i got nothing. theres no good its just working til i fucking kill myself and putting myself through fuxking agony constantly for a life that continues to just KICK AND KICK AND KICK AND KICK me when im fucking down. i cant handle anything else happening. im trying so hard to get things done and theres just fuxking nothing. i will never ever be enough and ill never feel enough.
doesnt matter what or when or the circumstance its so depressing that its not just romantic relations too im so fuckinf scared in groups i automatically feel unwelcome and hated and like i should just go off by myself because im literally so unlikeable and everything has proved it forever. like genuinely as soon as i realized there were more than 2 people i got terrified and started questioning everythinf i did and wanted to run away bc i felt like i wasnt meant to be there and it was ovipus and i was being annoying like fucking ALWAYS GOD IM SO SICK OF BEING LIKE THIS can i just shut up forever? dirk please come back to front im tired of annoying all the people who so graciously allow me to exist around them so i dont have to be in such crushing loneliness all the time i feel like such a fucking baby and everybody probably thinks im such an annoying drug addict too can i just quit it and fucking feel and then kill myself already when i realize its worse
like im never gonna be able to afford any of the shit i need to heal and i dont even wanna try bc ill get 3 appointments in and will run out of money and continue doing that and then ill die bc i cant afford anything else. like why would i do that to myself ill just suffer like this and just do my best forever til i can only rot. id rather get it fuckinf over with and just die now. this isnt a life
i go frm one box go another. rotting. i rot at home alone or i go to work alone. i dont really go out. i dont really talk to anybody. i dont really see anybody. i have 1 irl friend who talks to me and lives in town. the other i dont see her often and honestly feel so embarassed of myself around her because of how i am that i can barely convince myself to see her sometimes even if she is in town. the other person is one of my exs and he doesnt give a shit about me he just wants sex bc thats the only thing im good for. i feel like i just annoy and make everybody uncomfortable conwtantly i dont wanna do it anymore i want to shut up
i always do it i always just talk endlessly frm the second i fucking could before most kids could talk even and i just never shut up did i? my parents were always annoyed by me talking about things that brought me joy (and they never believed me for things that were upsettinf and it was just fake and i needed to be quiet about it bc theyre not taking me to the doctor. so i stopped talking about it to my family and everybody else in my life in that era did the same. the bullies. my friends who ignored me. no matter the form it was always like that i just need to learn to keep quiet and go away and not need anything ever again. i couldnt fucking learn it every time i got a red or yellow card for talking (usually trying to ask questions bc i didnt understand or couldnt see or couldnt hear in elementary school. or to make conversation bc i was friendly and had no friends and my parent didnt play with me so i was lonely. nobody ever liked me bc i was weird. i feel like such a bitter dickhead but i get so jealous when i see that people talk to others every day. especially in person. im so fucking alone i literally get so excited when people want to call with me even if it makes me really scared (and sometimes if im not comfortable enough or feeling sad i will run a away from that too because im so scared to fuckinf annoy people and say something stupid or be boring or trying too hard or just fucking being a total downer because theres nothing good ever going on for me. i got so depressed goin on bsky today and seeing everyone playing webfishing when i cant. but even so lik.e maybe im glad i djdnt join bc one of them was in a big group with new mut and then all strangers so like. its better i wasnt able to bc i would probably jusg feel worse and run away frm everyone bc i feel inadequate snd guilty for taking up space. i always feel like im bothering everyone no matter what. fuck my exhusband in general but he also made me so much more insecure than i was already. he made me feel so annoying and he broke my communication. i was alone with him and JUST him for so long. i could only communicate in nonsense phrases sometimes (literal jibberish not memes) because thats all he would respond to or wouldnt talk to me until i did. he changed my whole pattern of speech and i still almost lapse into it sometimes. it was never any kind of real conversation about anything i felt like it withered my brain. nothing ever in depth just stupid sensless bullshit and jokes (that were often insulting me and made me feel like shit) and i was doing it for fucking nothing because everything else sucked too!!!! the only time there was ever a conversation was when i was BEGGING HIM to stop sometbing or do something for the millionth time. or him defending himself or trying to force my support and trigger my ocd (i genuinely think he was trying to make it worse he never respected it ever he mever respected a single part of me) or him fighting with me on something again (usually the thing was due to him and i just was not being forgiving and quiet and turning off my emotions enough about it. learned numb happiness)
my existence is like a plague and theres nothing here for me. theres even less left of me after he got done with me. he stripped my personality all the way down and forcef me to mirror him. everythinf will always be rotted and ill feel like a horrid shell of a person any time im near anyone. the only option is being alone. maybe this time i will learn and just fuxking stop all of this so we can stop being a curse on everybody. even if i could afford mental help theres nobody that can help me here so its all a waste. i feel like everybody will just hurt me again. doesnt even have to be a partner i feel like every single person is gnna realize sooner or later that im not worth it or they dont like me (ir even hate me) and that im just too fucking annoying to be around
i dont want to be annoying anymore. i wish it was like right after he went to prison again when i didnt have anything and was an empty shell and had nothing to say or talk about that wasnt venting. i wish i never got back some of my "sparkle" or whatever the fuck people call it. mines not a sparkle. its a noxious cloud of toxic annoyance fumes and everybody just has to keep their masks up til i vacate the area. why would i ever fucking want this to come back. i need to shut the fuck up i really do. just take our personality and every crumb of joy again im so sick of it. make it so i dont have any of those thoughts to even post. thus sparing everyone from having to be like "UGH this motherfucker AGAIN. does he ever shut the fuck up? is he ever quiet? can he just log off already? this guy definitely has no life. why does he always have to butt into everything"
that way i can just post like. the shortest most boring updates ever like "back to work! only 3 days this week for the 39 hours. more time off is always good" and then shut up for days and then "got paid nice. going to the bank and then grabbing a few groceries" like thats do much better. nobody needs to fucking know man its sad and depressing and all the same OR you are the most obnoxious prick on any site youre ever and you ruin everybodys day when theyre forced to see you in their notifs or on their timeline
ive probably already muted me bc it didnt even take a week for me to just talk way too muxh when none of of it is important and nobody wants to hear it
even if im not allowed to talk frm my body. its already annoying enough in text and then psyically i just stutter and trip over myself or cant think or forget what i was saying
i wanna delete everything i have and crawl into the earth. i hate being alive. the one time i find something that makes me happy even the littlest bit i cant do it anymore. disallowed by the universe and painfully reminded of the fact im supposed to alone and theres actually nothing for me. it doesnt get better for me it only gets worse. and it makes me feel stupid for believing it could even though thats few and far between. theres nothing left for me i need to just get whatever drugs i decide on and have one last hoorah and take enough to kill me. which hopefully wont even be that hard because im mixing downers and uppers constantly so like its only a matter of time right. my nose hurts and i feel like crying and my body is killing me again so im taking both things again. one for pain. one for maybe like. a little bit of energy but mainly so i dont feel so absolute shit. i just want it all to stop i dont wanna get better anymore im sick of it every time i try i get fucking worse or am crushed by something else even harder than before im DONE WITH IT IM FUCKING OVER IT i just wanna end it theres nothing fucking here for me im never making it. im sick of trying. im sick of always helping even while going through the wordt shit imaginable. im not sick of it. i want to help and i love helping. but it makes me fucking SICK to think about how ive spent my whole life caring for others. have been let down or ignored or told i was lying or had them hurt me instead so many times over i just fucking wish i was important enough to have gotten help when i needed it. to be listened to enough for somebody to even acknowledge or believe there is an issue (or simply convince me im overreacting)
it was fucking stupid of me to think my last ditch effort of doing art school because every other thing i failed miserably at because im too stupid and cant do enough and dont have the support. it doesnt even fucking matter bc my body is slowly and slowly getting closer to just saying "no fuck you" to the art i NEVER HAD TIME TO MAKE TO MY FULL ABILITY IN THE FIRST PLACE. and then ill never be able to do it ever again because i cant get help
i am going to die knowing i never finished a single thing in my life and nobody will ever know what i was capable of.
i want to die in the most painful and uncomfortable way possible because its what i deserve. its the only thing i truly deserve. i need to endanger myself more than i already do obviously its not killing me fast enough if im still kicking and dragging myself across the pavement. i should be dragged along the pavement by a semitruck instead.
i wanna kill myself so bad tonight man. im gonna try not to bc my friend really needs me rn. but i really might relapse. im so fucking tired i want to just go and sleep but ill stay up just for that. i should just cut a vein already why do i care about beinf careful. there was a thing i wanted to do... cut myself with a razor right after i use it to chop **** because maybe itll make me feel good when im not or just fuck my heart enough to make me faint or do smth stupider
ive been writing this for so long im fucking done. i got 2.5 more hours here. i hope i find my mouse when i go home so i change my mind but i honestly really just want to end it right now. im at the end of the line really. im gonna work til i die and never get a break
"everyday it feels like noone sees and noone knows. every day i kinda wanna cancel the show." /lyr
please for the love of god like this if you read all of it i just spilled my whole guts and not even well
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