#im so numb tho | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hinamie · 7 months ago

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unconditionally

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #itafushi #fushiita #fanart #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #megumi #yuuji #im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life #genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine #but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed #backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads #but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS #so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it #i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process #but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style #so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh #all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap #hina.comic

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interstellarbookofflowers · 2 years ago

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happy points for yesterday and today (more will be added)

I PASSED MY EXAM!! it was so long, bro was pretty much grilling me for nearly an hour and a half (idk time every time i estimate sth different but it was Long), BUT IM FREE

i met up with my friend from hs n we had a great time together! we went to the bookshop and i bought some adorable stickers

i already managed to make gf bread today which im very proud of! the flour is shit tho so its like eh meh (but it tastes ok!)

my plans for today are being unhinged and doing shit i enjoy for once! mostly i wanna journal and set up my new bujo and then watch something nice heheh

#mine #happy points #im so numb tho #like its not sinking in how awful it was #i have a therapy session tomorrow - with a random lady not my regular therapist #so hopefully ill just get to summarize it to sb #cuz like im still like wow this is a person i trusted how could he do that to me #like on one hand i finally know im not insane - bros i rlly thought i was making shit up when i felt like some shit was not ok #and it turned out that he messed with my head so much that i overlooked the bad shit and devalued my own thoughts and feelings #insane huh #but on the other hand i dont feel much and idk why?#like im still waiting for some sort of an emotional explosion where ill just have a full breakdown #but also - maybe i feel nothing cuz i finally am like yea this was a ride im not crazy #maybe in my head im like yea a lot of it was fake anyway so idc #idk man #im sorta a lil sad i lost a friend #but im done trying to fix shit. its his fight now.

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xxplastic-cubexx · 4 months ago

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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

#xmen #xmen comic #krakoa #cherik #snap chats #until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny #how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind #ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM #i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were #fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something #and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone #and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly #ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious #sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder #and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room #GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom #im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building #obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3 #in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral #ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am #im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day

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littlerosei · 2 months ago

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Yall r not gonna believe this- workin on a lil smth for the SCRUMPTIOUZ YUMMY @artepti LLR AU MMMMM IM GONNA RAVAGE THEIR ART RARRWGARSTFA hopefully i get this done by the end of the week! (Unless I suddenly lost motivation time to time begging i dont teehee)

#lego monkie kid #lovingly led to ruin #lmk #art wip #IM STAYING UP TILL 3AM FOR THIS I CANT STOP GELP #ngl tho this feels so worth it #my fingers are numb help waht

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coffeesleep-ooc · 4 months ago

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This is going to be a bit fucked up but hear me out

CW: im talking about cannibalism and related stuff here

so i was mindlessly scrolling thru tumblr and saw art of moshang looking at bingqiu being all smoochy and MBJ chomping SQH’s cheek

and suddenly thought, what if eating each other was part of demonic lore like hitting your crush is?

So I remember part of some indigenous history, and how in Latin America until recently most books were saying that indigenous ppl were cannibals before the colonization, but the actual thing wasn’t that indigenous ppl ate each other but more like, if they were enemies and one of them was defeated, it was a belief that eating that warrior’s heart would make you absorb the beat qualities of said warrior (which to me is still eating someone but with a whole different context ig?)

So my thought process went from aww cute moshang, to, what if demons complimented each other with biting? Like, in the: you are so strong, so capable, so good that i’d like to eat you? To integrate you with my own being????

we all know that LBH originally was biting SQQ like there was no tomorrow until SQQ taught him not to bite, but what if that was hiw own way of saying ‘i admire Shizun the most, you are the person i’d like to absorb into myself to always be with you. To have the strengths you have is to be complete, superior, etc etc’ ???? like MBJ hitting SQH was a way of saying he would be a strong partner, LBH biting SQQ could be directing him the top praise he could think of in demonic terms

also, lore wise, demons that fought and defeat strong opponents could symbolically (and literally) consume their strength to enhance themselves and honor the life the other demon/warrior lived…

and for demons that ate human flesh???

well, that could still be them disregarding humans because they never fought and defeated them, human flesh would be distasteful to consume for stronger demons and a sign of weakness!

now, im not saying that eating each other would be commonplace or anything, just that it could become a highly regarded ritual

and a tease-chomp that leaves marks would make other demons know how highly regarded one is to their partner or even family-clan

now im imagining a feiend demon of SQQ asking him if he could bite him and SQQ being in shock (TM) while LBH is between smug and jealous bc NOBODY TOUCHES SHIZUN! Same with SQH honestly

SQQ n SQH: why our husbands like to bite so much 😭😭😭

demons: wow, the consorts of Emperor Luo and Mobei-Jun are truly treasured!!!

also, i think LBH would be regarded as a truly strong and altive leader bc he refuses to do said ritual (maybe abyss ptsd? Maybe his human sensibilities??) but when he gets together with SQQ and bites him like there’s no tomorrow his subjects end up appeased in that regard despite their leader marrying and giving the honor of the bite to a human jejeje

also just…worshipping someone in such a bloody and messy way is hmmm, interesting to some parts of me

maybe I’ll put this in one of my fics idk…maybe the abo one since bites are a thing there too…? Idk but wanted to get this out of my head into the wild jaja

#shen qingqiu #luo binghe #svsss #bingqiu #moshang #lore #mobei jun #shang qinghua #cw: body horror #ig that could be body horror but demons…well…i do mention something in history that may be factual so #Demonic lore #be careful tho #in my head is extremely ok but im sleepy and very numb today so take that as you will #Maybe ill be horrified about this tomorrow

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p4nishers · 1 year ago

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yeah that's uhh that's definitely something

#'david jenkins is a neil gaiman fan' U SHUT UP!!! IM SO FUCKING SCARED RIGHT NOW U SHUT UP?!!!#the difference in crowley's and ed's expression tho. one is in complete panic and agony and the other is just numb #says a lot if u ask me #something something the demon (or demon coded) character shots at the angel (coded) character who has complete trust in them #something something i dont even know what this means #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #ofmd #our flags mean death #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach

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sweetreveriee · 1 month ago

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SOBBING bc the end of s2 of smallville

#MY POOR CLARK MY POOR CUTIE UGG #I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD FKR HIM #AND WHEN MARTHA LOST THE BABY #STOP HE DIDNT MEAN FOR THAG TO HAPPEN HE JUSG DIDNT WANNA BE GAKEN AWAY FEOM HIS PARENTS #SOBS #SEND HELP #I CRIED SO HARD HE WAS SO NUMB MY BABY #when he put on the red kryptonite he was really fucking hot tho as he always is when he wears it #BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT #sigh #im gonna start s3 tmr im too tired #reverie’s daydreams #i’m obsessed #smallville #clark kent #dc

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sleep-nurse · 1 month ago

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Best time to nap in class is when they just read a book

#sunflower rambles #i dont have the book yet so i cant directly follow #great opportunity to sleep tho #my arm is numb now #even better how im always under a sunbeam

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desi-yearning · 4 months ago

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The best way to deal with Big Feelings is to not deal with them at all

#follow for more amazing advice #abhi rants #im feeling too many Feelings #i feel so much love and i feel a shit ton of fear because of that #I'm also angry at someone #and sad and nostalgic #and kinda happy too #I'm yearning sooooo bad too #i kinda like feelings tho because feeling too much to me is always better than feeling nothing #i hate the numb periods during which i feel indifferent towards everything #those times make me feel very alienated and unnnatural #so yeah feelings are nice #I'll just have to deal with them better

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orcelito · 25 days ago

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I wrote. 1k words today!!!!!!!! For dad vash au!!!! So the document is now 3.5k words long (almost a third of them written just Today)(I've been working on this WIP off and on for Months now.....) so that's exciting!!!!!

Idk there was just a feeling midday of like. My brain being surprisingly clear?? Weird bc I didn't get enough sleep last night. But I took full advantage of it.

Hope that this kinda thing keeps up. Maybe I can actually fucking post something finally.

#speculation nation #dad vash au shit #i have a few aus ive been tossing around in my mind. as well as itnl stuff. sorry itnl readers my brain is still being flighty.#dad vash au tho is dependebly smth ive gone back to anytime ive been feeling. down lol #hes not having a fun time in this first chapter. but it'll get better.#i wrote the start of the scene where he finds out today. and Man it's such fun.#gonna give him a whole ass panic attack over this shit. wheeeeeeee #anyways i think my writer's block has primarily been due to the extensive emotional numbing and compartmentalization #that ive had to employ for much of the entire past year. due to The Grief and whatever.#cant be functional if im feeling my grief 24/7 and unfortunately to turn off the grief i gotta kinda turn off my emotions overall.#a weird half-dissociation bc i can feel emotions?? but i cant really *feel* them. if that makes any sense at all.#like the difference between watching smth on TV vs experiencing it in person for myself. r #been watching these metaphorical cake shows but i think im starting to eat some metaphorical cake. maybe.#idk man id love to be able to write more. pleaaaase ive been trying Desperately to get ANYTHING to stick so i can get outta writers block #grief-associated writer's block is the worst. bleugh.

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duckyfann9871 · 8 months ago

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was sobbing unceasingly (as one does) but then remembered I have mister uplifting as my mac's screensaver

#he rly is my comfort character rn huh #hes literally talking to a kid here and I'm like uwehuehuehue uwu #i swear i dont have parent issues I'm just rlu emotional fr #regardless tho #how could anyone stay upset with this face #okay maybe me bc im still sad but at least i finally stopped crying lol #also ik the screenshot is from like days ago but i never got around to posting abt it til now okay #love me that post-cry feeling #actually no i hate it #bc now tht there no tears i just feel numb??? which is both good and bad #regardless tho pls dw abt it moots bc im very dramatic and probably will be over my sadge by tmmrw #so heres some tags and good night <3 #psycho pass #psycho pass sinners of the system 1 #ginoza nobuchika #nobuchika ginoza #psycho pass ginoza #long hair men #long hair ginoza #long hair ginoza nobuchika #growing up chronicles

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the-bi-space-ace · 11 months ago

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I’m not main tagging this bc I don’t want to yuck anyone’s yum but I’m really confused by the pacing of S3 and I’m just kind of… lost? Like everything is both a lot and also not at all? I already knew things were happening bc of the trailer so it’s not really surprising? And I’m also confused about how in 4 episodes it’ll all wrap up in a satisfying way?

I’m just sitting here like this: