#like im so tired of drawing this that i cannot feel my back
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malanatero · 1 year ago
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Papillon
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fr00tbats · 2 months ago
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posted all these muppets i drew the other day and i FEAR THAT IF I SAY THE COMMONALITY BETWEEN THEM ALL EVERYONE WILL GET THEIR KNIVES OUT ON ME AGAIN LMFAO
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lunarharp · 2 years ago
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into the deep end - 29k T orufrey fic.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago
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#what do you call it when a mind is lacking in depth of m thought? is there a word for that?#because all my mind can do is spin in tiny circles. never push any further. no depth of thought#i cant even carry out this line of thought to completion in my head. i have to write it down like this or else it remains stuck in an eddy#its so frustrating. when my thoughts are pressured i spin so fast it feels like my head might pop but the thoughts never go anywhere#bc they just repeat the same god damn things all thr fucking time. they drag me around in circles. then when im feeling low or even like#normal. my head just feels empty and it freaks me out. i have no intersting thoughts to think. theres nothing behind my eyes#possibly its just my brain on 0cd. but how am i suppose to escape the spiral if its in my own head? i guess im just supposed to changr my#reaction to it. recognize what it is and let it go. but i dont like it#i just want to curl up on a warm tile floor. press myself into a quiet corner and not think anything#in an aquarium or a conservatory. specifically the conservatory in Columbus. i love that place#i went there for my birthday when i was like 12 bc i liked it so much. the botanically gardens and the butterflies and the stained glass#i dunno. i just like it there. ugh. im just tired#god. there was a really cool talk today and im always like im not that inattentive lol but then i cannot for the life of me follow a talk or#read a paper all thr way through. my short term working memory is just a tiny little cup. easy to overfill#so i miss mostly everything. its so frustrating#its all frustrating. whatever. back to the psychiatrist tomorrow. probably up thr lamicta1 dosage#bc im past where i was last time i had a reaction to it 💪#i just wish i wanted to draw. drawing just makes me tired and impatient rn#unrelated
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nerice · 11 months ago
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good evening i am. angry but also don't have the wrist stamina to get into it
#elia txts#it just sucks!!!!!! that my job is Doing Nothing and waiting for my body to Heal#FOR ANOTHER 3 MONTHS AT LEAST#i must under no circumstances overdo it even when i start feeling better even in march#i should not write all night or draw a lot it will be so much Easing Back Into It and Not Fuck It All Up Again#but im sick and tired!!!!!!!! two full years pissed into the void#and i won't even be able to throw myself back into passions with my whole heart#like i cannot get over losing two actual years of my life i am so extremely antisocial abt it too#bc before this irl fri*ndshit was taking up so much of my time & i agonized over it and i just like#shouldn't have should've just dropped it then id have never gotten into g3nshin id have quit my job much earlier#i would have actually been able to enjoy japan. it fucking HAUNTS ME#ventpost lol dl but like#i fell behind. everything got away from me. & now i have to wait more and be gentle and patient w myself i wanna bite my own head off#GOD. release me from this hell#i want to draw so badly i don't wanna get 10 pathetic minutes a day at best#i wanna get an art spark and not put it in a box i want to be consumed again & pour hours into it fuelled by energy drink unafraid#reading books is all i can do at the moment but even that is miserable bc i don't have the typing ability for my vocab lists#i can't write notes and summaries even when things are interesting. i cannot look at japanese without crying bc i miss kanji#& believe in recovery now!! (on good days anyway) but this aching void of loss and grief and time wasted will it ever go away :(
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afternines · 2 years ago
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I HAVE TO LAUGH I HAVE TO LAAUGGGGFHFH
#when i dropped out of school and started working somehow everything started being easier#my social anxiety got soooo much better . my depression got so much better and i wasnt stressed at any giving time and i thought#that maybe all my mental health problems were just a direct consequence of me being undiagnosed nd in an environment that expected too much#from me without offering accommodations for me to reach those goal#like work is still tiring and overstimulating at times but theres no deadlines!!! i dont have to bend n break my back to get certain tasks#done!!!!! like i have a package of tasks i just loop through and i can plan in my own days and weeks and decide what i will be doing when#and how and theres no wrong or right system of doing things as long as the result is just what my boss wishes for and im AUGDHDGFH im so#lucky to be here#To get back to the point im trying to make tho.#as i left an environment that just wasnt good for me and entered another environment that somehow did wonders to my mental health i rlly#thought i would find peace from now on. Like id still get upset and sad or whatever like non mentally ill people do too#but it wouldnt be to an extent anymore where i wanna hurt myself or disappear forever#and for a bit more than a year everything was good!!!!! started to think i made up all my mental problems tbh#but lately things have been so tuff . i havent been this depressed in years#and like i can still physically do things . i can still go to work and clean my room and take showers and whatnot#but im so exhausted. and i keep crying all the time and i feel like everyone hates me for being so . depressed and i cannot physically do#the one thing i love doing (drawing) like nothing i try comes out good enough which just makes me cry again lol#and i dont . i dont understand it#bc i removed all (most?) of the factors that were making me this mentally nauseous and i was supposed to feel better . i was supposed to fee#good now. but i feel like im back at uni sitting on my bed crying over my notebooks trying to cram all the paragraphs into my head not#understanding why i cant remember anything for my classes . why its easy for everyone but me#everything always seems easy for everyone but me#i really dont understand#is this really a part of me . will i really always be this miserable and insecure? will i always hate myself and not feel enough?#im still the same person i was before i just wear different clothes#my body grows but i just dont grow up
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sminiac · 6 months ago
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can u write about giving bonedo legal line head pleaseee 😭😭😭 im such a giver like i need to make them feel good thank you!!!!
💌— I’VE BEEN REALLY STRUGGLING W WRITING LATELY BUT OFC :3
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⋆ P. Sungho
Funny enough, I see Sungho as more of a giver. Something about him emits that he loves being able to take care of his lover— but don’t get me wrong, he allows himself to enjoy when you’re the one using your mouth, the only problem is he gets too restless knowing how needy it makes you, your impatience makes him impatient. Gets off on the internal image of giving you head just so the process will be finished faster, and it’s a bad habit, he knows, but you deserve to feel just as good. In short he allows you to do it whenever you ask, and it feels good, of course it does, but he’d much rather be settled comfortably between your thighs, his skin drenched thickly in your arousal, sometimes it makes you wonder if he just enjoys constantly having a locked jaw too?
The only time you can really go through the process of having him cum undisturbed is early in the morning when he’s half awake, struggling to sleep past the feeling of his aching cock. In his drowsy, refusal of day state he’ll let you do it without any convincing that you need the attention more than he does, he’s just much too tired to talk, and to put in the actual effort to have you submitting to his insistence, but he’s still awake enough to give you the ‘go ahead’ when your fingers start drawing feather light touches across his lower tummy, it takes a little while, but eventually he’ll be bucking his hips up and whispering a desperate “Please, honey.” You’ll know he’s close when his big hand finds the top of your head and his back is slightly arching from the mattress, breathlessly stuttering out: “Fuh- fuck, baby. God, oh my, fuck.”
Remainder of members under the cut!
⋆ L. Riwoo
Riwoo likes someone with a level head and a persistent drive because then he doesn’t have to think about a single thing other than you and the way you make him shake and quiver once you’re sunken down, laving hotly at his tip, paying attention to all the right places at once. He won’t say it aloud but he also really likes when you’re messy, calculated in every other aspect as expected, but allowing yourself the freedom of salivating all over him, the sight of it, the feeling, it’s almost like a confidence boost seeing you so into pleasuring him, the way the warm mix of liquids seep out of the corners of your mouth and cover his skin, he’s very adamant about eye contact when he’s not being shy.
If you’re enjoying yourself then he enjoys it all the more! Here and there Riwoo doesn’t mind a pinch of exhibitionism, giving him head in the shower of the dorm or when you’re at his house really gets him going. The fear of someone hearing his pathetic whimpers, catching onto whatever the two of you do behind closed doors— he runs so high off of it, his hips unapologetically slipping his cock in and out of your mouth, the anxiety in his stomach conjoint with the kick of his orgasm approaching always has him shifting gears, sweet sweaty boy just absolutely fucking your mouth with reckless abandon.
⋆ M. Jaehyun
He’s so yappy and adorable! Absolutely cannot keep his mouth shut for the life of him when you’re swallowing around his dick, treating him so delicately, like he’s the prettiest, most delicate thing you’ve ever laid your hands on. The doting and the loving on really makes him so horny though, like, so bad that you can’t tell him he’s pretty whilst looking at him a certain way or he’ll get so whiny about it. The flood of affection being only meant for him makes his limbs so restless, there’s too much good feelings and sweet words that he doesn’t know how to receive it, even more when you’re offering to get on your knees for him.
Jaehyun doesn’t take your certainty of wanting to give any kind of way that’ll make you feel like it’s intended to be degrading, there’s no hidden agenda or kept in thoughts, he’s simply liquid in your hands, takes whatever you have to offer so graciously while still being assuring that he wants it just as bad as you do. He’s so visually pleasing too, doesn’t understand the effect that his shuttered cries and restless legs have on you, every time you have him in your mouth he refuses to look or he’s cumming on the spot, so his eyes are closed most of the time, he’s so :( also has a thing for the feeling of your nails dragging against the soft skin of his thighs, cries and cries from the stimulation, could probably cum from that alone but he’s too embarrassed to find out.
⋆ H. Taesan
A recorder. He is a sluuuut !! Literally asking whenever he can if it’s okay for him to record. Such a freak that even when he’s not horny he’ll be watching back the videos of you giving him head, whenever he’s in the back of the van going to prerecording’s his hidden folder is quickly being pulled up, you’re just so pretty and you always do so good for him, he feels almost this sense of pride? Like “Yeah that’s my girl, she’s so beautiful. Head game is crazy btw!” He just has to brag about you in every way, idk 🙄. Likes when you give him head in ridiculous places and situations too, the back of the car, on an airplane, after shows, before shows etc. and he records those too of course, talks to you in a hushed tone with the phone flash all in your eyes, “Fuuuck- s’good princess. Keep doin’, doing that, please.”
Taesan is such a physically reactive person, it’s like everything the normal human feels he feels 5x stronger. Will unintentionally make you gag and tear up by how much his hips unwillingly twitch and push when he’s close to cumming because of this. He does his best every time to try and stop it, but it’s hard to stop something that’s not done with a conscious effort. Admittedly though, every inch of your mouth he’s been allowed to touch feels amazing, but he’s come to find that the back of your mouth is an especially important part.
⋆ K. Leehan
The most likely to head push, idk if it’s because of how pretty he is but something about him is so intimidating? He brings that same exact energy to bed too, plays into it, likes seeing you flustered and stupid. Yk how it’s always the people you least expect to have crazy experience when it comes to sex? Yeah, literally him. Like he’ll be teaching you shit you would’ve never learned if it was someone else’s dick in your mouth, “Lick it like that” “Use your fingers like this baby” or “More pressure pretty, don’t be shy.” Absolutely intends to build your abilities so they pertain only to what he finds pleasurable. Even the way he talks to you, it’s so entertaining but not in a humorous manner, he knows just what to say and how to say it for the success of getting you squirmy and impatient.
Since he knows how shy you get Leehan purposely makes eye contact with you as much as he can, will caress the top of your head and the soft of your cheek that the tip of his cock pokes into as he talks sweetly to you. Asking if you’re having fun, if he tastes good. He’s such a mouth fucker, I can’t. If you’re giving him the go ahead to use you he does exactly that. The most talkative out of everyone, keeps your ears entertained with his grunts, moans and his thoughts, but he keeps your mouth even more busy. It’s impossible for him to become bored, he feels the same excitement every time you go down on him that he felt the first time it happened.
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fox-guardian · 5 months ago
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[ID: A three-page doodle comic of OP, a person with glasses, hair in a bun, and wearing a bathrobe, sitting at a table drawing on a tablet with earbuds in. They are smiling calmly with notes next to them reading "listening to the sam playlist" "like 30 songs in". They reel back suddenly, confused. A note reads "country jumpscare". They calm back down again. "Oh it's about a breakup" they say. Their expression shifts to fear. "Oh." is written in larger bold text. The last panel shows them standing up, leaning on their desk, crying with "AAAA" behind them in giant letters surrounded by question marks with boxes of lyrics floating around them half-faded out. From left to right, top to bottom, they read:
"Oh, that'll have to do
My other half was you
I hope this pain's just passin' through
But I doubt it"
"And I'll dream each night of some version of you
That I might not have, but I did not lose
Now you're tire tracks and one pair of shoes
And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do"
"No, I am no longer funny, 'cause I miss the way you laugh
You once called me forever, now you still can't call me back"
"And I am terrified of weather 'cause I see you when it rains"
end ID]
~~~~
i cannot emphasize how out of place this song feels in the playlist up to this point genre-wise, and it's been feeling like a "this is what sam would listen to" kinda playlist the whole time so im. hello?? hello. god please fucking hello
edit: oh yeah the song is Stick Season by Noah Kahan
edit edit: in my sleep deprived state I forgot to add my disclaimer that I suck at identifying genres. I have been told this song is Folk. not country. my point still stands it was Very Different from Everything Else.
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tiarpopdind · 17 days ago
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I was inspired by one of the prompts from MCtober - genderbend your MC.
Um i have many thoughts about this... rant below.....
Was trying to draw genderbent Tris for funsies and never in my life had i been so humbled 💀
Brother got me so stressed out i had to get up to pace around the room while asking myself if i was even deserving enough to be called an artist
I am being dramatic, i apologize.
I think i was trying hard to make her male version look more masculine but at the same time i also really wanted him to have that girly soft features because well Tris is kinda squishy regardless of the gender.
The problem is i think it is either my art style is too feminine and i genuinely cannot draw men (woe is me) or Tris is already somewhat androgynous enough to be both masculine and feminine at the same time so if i overdo one or the other it just won't look like her???
So i ended up with a genderbent version that was identical to the regular Tris... it's almost like nothing changed, except maybe she got taller LOL (artistically an impressive feat tbh...knowing how i can't even replicate my own style sometimes)
And you know what, it IS a little silly, so i'm gonna make that canon ... she is just a creature .... male or female.......
(i'm one step away from making her a nonbinary im tired of this gender bullcrap......
its my own fault i literally stressed myself out for no reason...
Okay but nonbinary Tris doesn't sound bad........ i will consider it...)
This is a embarrassing i feel like i overshared a little LOL maybe i just think a lot about genders and stuff...
Sorry to the people of tumblr who had to read this ily ill go back to being quiet and mysterious now ♡♡♡♡
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welcomehomediscordserver · 2 years ago
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(joking) CW: AGGRESSIVE SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR CLOWN FROM THE MOD TEAM AND MEMBERS OVER AT OUR DISCORD SERVER !!
I have found joy in your little show that I rarely find in things. The overwhelming love and care I have not just for these specific characters but for your art and talent as a whole is astounding. I want you to know that your community, the good parts of it, support you in any endeavor you choose to take. Although this project may have blasted your popularity you are 3-dimensional, you are much more than the creator of welcome home. You are a multi-medial, skilled, talented, and strong artistic being. Throughout all of this I have had nothing but the utmost respect for you. I will continue to no matter what. Just know we over at The Welcome Home discord server have been following your art closely and appreciating every detail! Do what is best for you clown, and continue to do so! -Reggie
It's been a while since something has grabbed me like this... Welcome Home is one of the most precious things I have ever seen, the creation has and will it always have a place in my heart. Thank You creator for sharing this piece of you heart with us. But your safety is more important, I hope that you'll be safe. -Jax
"dear clown, from the heart of one fan to many others, i find so much comfort in your project that i hope that even when things just like now are awful, you know that there's people simultaneously supporting you in every step of the way! We can wait however long you believe is necessary, you deserve to feel respected with your own passion project! And with that to a close, i wish you well! Thank you for giving us a grand welcome home!" -gremints
dear clown, you don't know me. i don't know you either. but everything you've been working on? it's changed my life. and i know that sounds cliche and silly, but it's true. you've inspired me to keep working on my own passion projects, to keep going. because of you, i have found a little community to call home. because of you, i have rekindled my love of silliness and color and creativity. i cannot thank you enough. without you, i would not have found the friends i have now. whatever you do, i want you to know that we're here to support it. and i hope that wherever you go, you also find home. - moth
Hi you dont know me but im Bug, one of the mods^^, I just want to start my message with this, Before I found welcome home, everything for me was going downhill, I had lost so much that was important to me in less than 2 weeks, I couldn't get out of bed and I wasn't doing my favorite things anymore. I couldn't even smile, My eyes were tired and heavy from crying. But thanks to you, Clown. Wonderful you..and your beautiful vibrant creation. With characters I saw and adored right away. I've smiled, danced, sang my favorite songs again, met new and amazing friends & began to draw again. I felt happiness faster than I thought I would again. A peace from your life helped heal some of mine and I'm grateful. Your creations bring me and so many others joy, But even then it as not as important as you. Yes It brings many smiles to people and i hope that doesn't sound to overwhelming.. But although we can't fix the issue people have caused you, we can't apologize for those who don't respect the boundaries you've set and we can't take back what others have done we want you to know that no matter what, the good of the community will always Have what's best for you in mind, in our server we make sure all rules are followed and you're privacy and mental health is respected. Take as much time as you need to take it all in, relax, do what's best for clown. 💚 take care of yourself before aything else. We thank you for all you've done already. -Boogerbug
EVERYTHING BELOW WAS SUBMITTED BY MEMBERS !!
Hi Clown! Just another rando passing through! While I have known about your artwork for a few years now, I never dove into it until Welcome Home became popular, and I genuinely love the vision you have. Your other artwork is also phenominal and genuinely inspires me, and it always has, even before I discovered the Welcome Home website. Your character designs are impeccable, the way you portray the muppets is genuinely awesome and brings back a lot of good memories, as I grew up watching puppet shows. Explains one reason I enjoy your work doesn't it?Despite making godly artwork, people forget that you are a human like the rest of us. Most people who become famous or popular because of something they have done experience this and it is unfortunate, but there are some of us that know you have a life and are already struggling. Take the time you need to rejuvinate yourself and try not to let these people get to you, as hard as it is to do, as even I still struggle with this daily. These are your creations, and you deserve to have control over what happens with them, and the disrespect this slowly growing fanbase has for your requests is terrible. Hoping that things eventually improve on your end, especially since you already aren't in a safe environment, something I also understand. I've already planned on throwing some bucks at you through Ko-Fi once I open my new bank account, and even if I cant, I still want to help prove that you are worthy and deserve better than this. You are incredibly talented and I hope to see Welcome Home and all of your other works of art flourish over time! - Sunnie/Mizo
Now onto the big reveal....
Our server members as well as a few mods all banded to together to create a collage showing our appreciation and support for Clown during these rough times. I hope this can serve as a reminder that despite the shitty people out there, there is a large community who still very much respects and enjoys every aspect of Clowns artwork.
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An art collage put together by the moderators with art submitted by members.
Below are more signages as well as the usernames of everyone who participated:
Micah
Maximus
Beans
Wynn
Avery
Global
Vinnzhe
- and lastly, the rest of the welcome home discord server 🩷
@partycoffin
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madisonthetimewalker · 1 month ago
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Got inspired by @loryn-art and decided to make some modern AU Wakfu headcanons because I always love making head canons when I see cool AU’s
1. Yugo cannot skateboard for shit. He always face-plants into the pavement (Adamai can skateboard and laughs his ass off at yugo’s misery)
2. Adamai is surprisingly good at baking, he can make a pretty good looking cake (if he try’s)
3.qilby has horrible fucking sleep schedule I cannot describe how bad it is but it is horrible.
4. Chibi is a morning person and has a decently sized ego.
5. Grougal has the best hair in the family (he gets it from his mom what do you expect?)
6. Shinonome (I cannot spell her name for the life of me oh my god) likes to live a cozy and organized life… qilby does not knowing the meaning of organized
7. Adamai works in retail and has clip on earrings (he doesn’t want to get his ear pierced again it sucked for him he hated it. I also have an example in one of my drawings!)
8. Phaeris is very very good at making sure shit doesn’t go down in the house. Mostly because he has a resting bitch face and I love it
9. Baltazar works at a daycare. He likes the job (quilby is not allowed near baltazar because of what happened in season 2, they will full on fist fight im dead ass)
10. Efrim isn’t very responsible with money (do not give him any he will spend it… and so will Nora)
11. Glip is often tired he has a pretty good sleep schedule (unlike qilby) but still often complains of being tired.
12. For mina I wanted to make her a teacher but since she was known to be basically a lawyer in Wakfu but I feel like a teacher would fit her as well.
13. Adamai doesn’t talk about his private life.. at all for that matter he keeps to himself a lot and you basically have to pester him to tell you what’s wrong.
14. Adamai has a creepy smile (this is canon.. oh my poor boy) and often times won’t smile in photos he just kinda grins and walks away.
15. Yugo has such horrible and I mean horrible taste in fashion (you can hear Adamai holding back tears in the background while Mina or Nora has to tell him to change or else he’s gonna scare their mother to death due to his shitty fashion sense.)
16. If you where to ask qilby about a specific historical event, he will tell it in such great detail it makes it seem like he was actually there.
17. The dragon bros cannot taste spicy foods (I heard somewhere since lizards are cold-blooded they can’t taste that thing that makes you taste spicy foods) so if you see grougal chowing down extreme spicy ramen don’t ask.
18. Efrim is very clumsy and often stubs his toes or accidentally hits something when he walks (everyone thinks he needs glasses but he has 20/20 vision this fucker just can’t walk straight)
19. I like to think Adamai is a bit of a nerd. In his own way of course (if you’re lucky you can catch him reading comic books in his room.. which is always locked)
20. Nora and Efrim collect random stuff they find on the ground and they have this huge stash of random shit. Nobody knows how long they have had this but god is it large
21. Glip can often be seen grading papers (I like to believe baltazar is a daycare teacher while Glip is a high school - collage teacher/professor)
22. Chibi does not know the meaning of “social cues” (and neither does yugo.)
23. Shinonome works at a flower shop (qilby doesn’t like flowers mostly because of bad allergies but he supports his sister anyway.)
25. Efrim hates having to work and I mean HATESSS it he will complain the whole time (Adamai is one step away from hitting him with a shopping cart at 100 miles an hour)
26. Yugo can’t focus for shit, but can surprisingly describe how to make a specific meal in great detail (alibert you have raised a good man.)
27. Phaeris is very good with solving puzzles and likes to do them in his free time, he says he enjoys the “thinking process”
28. Chibi is a horrible flirt if he sees a pretty lady and he wants to say hi? Immediately tripping and stumbling and accidentally embarrassing himself (grougal is laughing his ass off silently in a corner.)
29. (Can you tell I like Adamai?) he’s a pretty good babysitter although he isn’t a huge fan of it but he doesn’t mind helping people out.
30. Nora can’t roller skate while Mina is a fucking mastermind.
31. Baltazar and qilby can be seen giving the meanest fucking side eyes at family dinners (Adamai prefers to eat in his room. But once there’s drama he appears and watch’s from afar.)
32. Qilby has the worst back pain in the world.
33. For someone who can’t focus for shit yugo is an incredibly fast learner! And can learn anything in a matter of seconds (Adamai is often jealous out how quick of a learner he is.)
34. Glip doesn’t like being forced to work at such late hours but he has no choice (the curse of being a teacher)
35. Adamai often runs away from yugo when he’s at work. And yugo likes to chase him down for shits and giggles (yugo please he’s trying to do his job)
Great Lordy I have made so many! I might make some insert modern AU ones as well. Involving ecaflip and Xelor and the rest of the gods, I like to think they also live in the world of twelve but they don’t really show their faces (kinda like Greek gods? If you get what I mean)
Anyway I’m glad I got to share more headcanons! Have a great day!
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narwhalandchill · 7 months ago
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how are we feeling about this project amber update
assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.
But! Well. there certainly are thoughts
(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)
(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)
TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.
in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ
its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah
bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.
is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.
while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know
anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise
so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards
i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers
like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino
(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)
so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!
BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?
NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!
and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?
childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh
i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved
so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!
then briefly for the rest uhh
also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids
as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust
childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD
also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭
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But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses
thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀
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cnnmairoll · 9 months ago
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Hello. I was wondering if you could you write a platonic angst story where the reader is Blade's child. I was thinking usually the only thing that could calm Blade down when the mara flared up was Kafka's spirit whisper but what if being around the reader was also able to calm Blade down for some reason because Blade barely spends any time with the reader unless it's during one of his harsh training sessions and one night the reader decides enough was enough and started packing their stuff but they left behind their lucky weapon (that's your choice) and Blade found it the next morning.
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A Cup of Cold Tea
Character : Blade Genre : Angst Disclaimer : The relationship between the reader and Blade will be platonic as stated by the request. a/n : This was my first Request, but it didn't take long for me to find out about the anon sending the same request to most of the HSR writers despite their request was closed. I kept it in my drafts since it would be a waste if i just scrap it all out, not to mention my friend helped me out on this one, so I decided, why not just write the final paragraph and post? Things has been quite rough and busy for me so I'm not done with my hiatus, but I hope you enjoy p.s im sorry if he's ooc here, I don't know his chara well
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His blade descends on you, striking downwards in a beautiful arc to cleave your skull.
You dodge within an inch of your life, the after image of his sword burning into your retinas as you fall into a clumsy heap on the floor. Still, you spare no moment for yourself as you scramble up, his sword drawing contact to where you lay as soon as you move.
The minutes blends into hours, time being a concept of little value in the face of Blade's viciousness. It takes everything you have to simply focus on the present, dodging and deflecting when you can. You always stay on the defensive in fights like these; any window you have to strike opens itself for only a millisecond before Blade runs it through clean with his sword.
It makes you wonder how you'd fare if Blade gave it his all. You've seen Blade fight on missions enough times to know that he is much deadlier when he is putting in active effort. In contrast, his movements here are much more sloppy and rabid, fueled only by the unadulterated desire to destroy. It is the madness of his mara in its purest form, though it doesn't make his attacks any less fatal, as proven by the countless wounds that litter your body.
Dead within the first minute, probably, comes the stray thought. It proves to cost you when you earn a gash on your arm, blood spilling freely from your left. You grit your teeth; you need to pay attention. There's never a guarantee for your life when Blade gets like this.
Red spider lilies bloom around you like a garden welcoming death. It sings of carnage, reeking of blood that it greedily consumes, begging for more even if it will eventually wilt away. It feels symbolic, in a way. Out of the two of you, only you are the one who is able to experience true death.
Still, you cannot help but find the blooming sea of red beautiful, even if it is always likely to be your final resting place.
There is a lull in Blade's movements, the manic in his eyes glazing into a dull scarlet as he catches his breath. Immortal he may be, but even he has a limit he will reach. It is a mercy; not only does it signify that his mara has not yet reached a point of no return, it also allows you time to recuperate. Had Blade been given unlimited stamina on top of his self-healing, you would surely have died a long time ago.
Now that the man has tired himself, it is time to bring him back.
"Father," you begin. It comes out as a feeble whisper, your lungs still burning from exertion. Still, you must press on. "Are you okay?"
Blade is silent for a beat, then two. This is fine; you can wait for as long as he needs for your words to reach him. You've gone through this routine enough times to memorize his mannerisms, all of which are currently saying that you are in the clear. So long as his grip on his weapon doesn't tighten again, then you have nothing to be afraid of.
Silence reigns within the room, until you recognize the clarity return to Blade's eyes.
"..You," he grunts, voice hoarse. It's scratchy from his manic screaming and laughter, and you make a mental note to add honey to his tea for his throat.
You nod approvingly. "Yes, Father. Are you okay?" You repeat the question, and this time, Blade manages a sharp nod.
You grin, happy at his answer. You open your mouth to speak again, but Blade cuts you to it. "What happened to your arm?"
The man stares hard at something, and you follow his gaze to find the gash on your left arm. The bleeding has mostly stopped from what you can tell, but it's still an ugly thing to look at. You'll have to wash it soon.
You hum, considering. "It's only a minor cut, Father. I can patch it by myself later."
His eyebrows twitch, his eyes narrowing. "Come," he says simply, walking towards the door.
You let your sword disperse into particles of light before following Blade out of the room. You know there is no arguing with him when he gets like this. Any attempt to reassure him that you can handle yourself will only end with him staring at you with unreadable eyes until you inevitably give in. You're not sure if he does this because he is aware of this fact. Blade doesn't strike you as the type to be attentive to such details, but it's worked every single time, so.
You are both silent as he tends to your wound, cleaning it thoroughly before dutifully bandaging it. Blade even add bandages to the smaller cuts you would've left alone, meticulous in making sure all your wounds are taken care of. You know it is his way to apologize, as he is a silent man who prefers actions in lieu of words. That, and that he's always been awkward when it comes emotions like remorse.
"Get some rest," he says, returning the equipment to the first-aid kit. Blade looks at you, expectant, and it is only when you nod does he leave you alone.
He never calls you by name. It's something that bothered you when you were younger, but it's something you've grown to accept. You're not even certain Blade can recall your name if asked. You know it is his way to cope, to always be prepared for the day when you, too, will leave him. Remembering names are a burden on his soul, so the least you can do is spare him from remembering yours.
Your patience reached its limit. In the dead of night, you quietly packed your belongings and left a note behind. It was brief but carried the weight of your feelings: "I need to find my own path for a while. I hope you understand." You didn't sign it, hoping that the absence itself would convey the message more powerfully.
The moon hung high in the sky as you walked away from the place you called home, your steps determined despite the uncertainty that gnawed at you. You had no plan, no destination in mind. You just knew that you needed time away.
The next morning, Blade woke up to find the room unusually quiet. The absence of the usual sounds—your soft footsteps, the steaming sound of the kettle pot when you made his morning tea—was like a deafening silence. He pushed himself up, his senses alert even before his eyes fully opened. His gaze darted around the room, searching for any sign of your presence.
The sight of your neatly made bed and the note left on the table struck him like a blow. For a moment, he stood frozen, his heart heavy with a mixture of regret and realization. He had been so consumed by his own pursuits that he hadn't noticed the growing distance between you.
His eyes shifted to a corner of the room, where a familiar object caught his attention. There, placed with careful intention, was your lucky weapon. The fiery red blade of the sword gleamed in the soft morning light, its hilt wrapped in supple black leather. The pommel, resembling the closed bud of a red spider lily, held a sense of elegance and balance that echoed the bond between you and Blade.
A pang of guilt and longing gripped Blade's chest as he picked up the sword. The weight of it felt familiar in his hand, a stark reminder of the times he had shared with you. The sword seemed to dance in the air, reflecting both its deadly capabilities and the beauty of its craftsmanship—a reflection of the connection he had with you, one he had been neglecting.
Blade's footsteps were heavy as he left the room, carrying the sword with him. As he went to sit down and process your absence, he noticed a cup of tea placed neatly on the table. The tea, once steaming and fragrant, now languished in its cup, forgotten and neglected. It had been carefully prepared by you before you left, a gesture of concern and care. The faint aroma of the blend, a comforting blend of herbs and warmth, with a hint of honey, still clung to the air around it, a lingering reminder of their intention.
But time had been unkind to the tea, its temperature steadily dropping as it sat abandoned on the table. The steam that had once risen from its surface in delicate tendrils, carrying with it the promise of comfort, had now dissipated into the air. The liquid's once-rich hue had faded slightly, a sign that its vitality was waning, much like the embers of a dying fire.
Blade's eyes fell upon the cup, his gaze drawn to the cold tea that had been left for him. His fingers, calloused from years of wielding the blade, reached out to touch the cup, and he felt the chill radiating from its surface. It was a stark contrast to the warmth he had felt earlier, a reminder of how quickly time could transform something from inviting to forgotten.
As he wrapped his fingers around the cup, he couldn't help but recall the hoarse quality of his voice that had consumed him during their training session. You noticed, as you always did, attuned to the subtleties of his state. The touch of honey they had added was a balm for his throat, a gesture that had been both practical and considerate.
Blade's throat tightened with an emotion he couldn't quite name. The cold tea before him held within it layers of meaning—your concern, your attempt to provide comfort, and a reminder of his own shortcomings.
Regret gnawed at his insides, twisting and churning with every breath he took. Guilt clawed at his conscience, tearing through the facade of indifference he had so carefully crafted. Loneliness engulfed him like a suffocating cloak, reminding him of the void left in your absence. And yet, beneath it all, there flickered a tiny ember of hope—a glimmer of redemption, a chance to right the wrongs he had committed.
Blade couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of despair that threatened to consume him whole. For in that moment, he realized that the hardest battle he would ever face was not against his enemies, but against the demons of his own making—the ones that whispered of his failures and shortcomings, echoing relentlessly in the caverns of his heart.
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luketaluketa · 1 year ago
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i was organizing some files and found all the wip stuff from the previous secret samol for @/seamonsterart (go check out their work!), and these are two of my favorite illustrations ever, so here's some insight into how i made these!
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for starters i already had a pretty much finished design for pickman that i had first drawn back in 2021
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she has a completely wrong gun in this version because i did not remember how it was supposed to look like and couldn't find a description of it anywhere. she's wearing a hat because i forgot it was supposed to be a helm and so i ended up giving her the large hat just because the long horns coming through it are a fun image, though today i cannot imagine her wearing anything else. she already has the sword she takes from the lake skeletons, also. her armor is based on the armor the torumekian soldiers and kushana wear in nausicaa of the valley of the wind, with the incredible neck guard and long cape covering their entire body
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i've always loved these designs and how the plates are evocative of insects, but also how mysterious they look with covered faces and bodies. matter of fact, at this point i had no fucking idea what pickman looked like below the cape.
the second inspiration is the young man from angel's egg.
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OK, STAY WITH ME. i cannot explain this other that in my head pickman and him are VERY similar characters. the image of the half pulled cape while he holds his sword-cross-thing over his shoulder and the quiet demeanor are pretty fundamental to how i try to make pickman FEEL. i actually wanted her armor to have more piping, pulling from the biomechanical appearance of his sword-cross, but it didn't feel quite right
and the third inspiration is less inspiration and more reference work, the book "arms & armor, a pictorial archive" by carol grafton
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it's a compilation of illustration works sourced from several books from the 19th century. VERY cool book to take a look at historical armor. it's on the internet archive for free!
there was also a fair ammount of looking at goats and sheep, but eventually i reached this after learning i suck at drawing furry designs. big shoutout to the furry community for making so many tutorials available btw. in highlight a very important study of the character.
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now that i kinda knew what pickman looked like i entered the wonderful phase of "i don't know what the fuck i'm doing" which resulted in a bunch of bad doodles now sitting in a folder dubbed "dev hell". at this point i kinda had an idea for a relaxed scene based on one of the prompts, which i developed for a while on blender but eventually gave up on.
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i then moved on to the second prompt, of pickman being badass. i decided on a low angle to make pickman look incredibly tall but the low angle of a goat's head legitimately kicked my ass so i eventually made a goat head on blender and used it to generate references with the help of designdoll. here i made her design a lot more muscular and fat, also, eventually coming to her final design.
the valve on her chestplate looks WRONG to me now, but at the time i was so tired i just rolled with it. the first pass of her armor was in a completely wrong color, which i corrected later on photoshop. i added the little metal forks pulling from her 2021 design, and the idea of little musical forks for atunning to the shape was cool to me. i also corrected her gun after actually learning what the fuck it was supposed to look like. i already knew i wanted her to be standing on the field of canola flowers, and the sky in the background was the last thing i added, also the time when i decided to really make the picture tall.
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i liked the final result so much i went back and started working on the first prompt again. had a horrible time drawing the horns in the second image which led to this hell cage for building the perspective. im still not confident on the horns on the side of the head. i wanted to bring the atmosphere of a cold winter or fall morning in the second one, and to make pickman seem tired but relaxed. i overall like the second picture a lot more than the first and was very happy with how it came out.
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AND THAT'S HOW THE SAUSAGE IS MADE I GUESS. if you read this whole thing then thank you for your time!
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breeistired · 9 months ago
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WHAT I THINK MARAUDER KINNIES ARE DOING ON VALENTINES DAY
(if you are not single and sad, this post is not for you. RUN ALONG NOW SWEETIE)
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Regulus kinnies.
I’m a Regulus kinnie myself, and all im doing to do is read books and pine after a person who only sees me as their friend. So im going to assume you’re doing the same.
You are also probably listening to Mistki while you look back at when you felt alive and young.
We need therapy.
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James Potter kinnies.
You’re probably making notes and cute little drawings for your friends, but you know deep down they’ll forget about you and get you some lousy lollipop or maybe even a heart drawing!
You cannot settle for the bare minimum.
You’re also probably falling for the slightest attention someone gives you, then you get heart broken in the end because you put too much of yourself in your relationship.
BACK AWAY FROM THE BARE MINIMUM. YOU DESERVE MORE.
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Sirius Black kinnies.
You and your best friend are the only ones who take this siriusly.
But the only reason you take it seriously is because you know how it feels to feel like a joke.
You’re looking at all these videos of these couples doing cute stuff while you’re sitting on the floor of your room wondering, why couldn’t i be like that? Then you’ll come to the conclusion that your parents made you like this.
PLEASE DONT FORGET TO DRINK WATER. I KNOW YOU FORGET TO.
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Remus Lupin kinnies.
You most definitely forgot it was Valentine’s Day and you slept in. Thankfully you set up your future in your head so you already know what you’re going to for your friends.
Please stop planning your future all in one night. Your brain cannot take this.
You’ll chug some caffeine and tell yourself, it’s just another day. Until you look around and see all these people in love. You go home and binge eat chocolate because you’re sad.
Then you fall asleep again as a coping mechanism.
SAVE THE CHOCOLATE FOR THE REST OF US PLEASE.
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Pandora Roiser kinnies
You guys are the sweetest people alive.
Too bad everyone takes that as a weakness.
You buy every one of your friends a cute little card and maybe some candy or flowers. All they do is utter a “thanks.” But you don’t mind right? ( you do) it’s tiring feeling like everyone looks down on you. So you’ll try your hardest, but will it ever be enough?
YOU GOT THIS SWEETIE, YOURE ENOUGH.
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Evan Roiser kinnies.
You guys are either toxic or chill.
Either way, you’re still not over that one person who ruined your life. Your friends are happy, so why aren’t you? Nothing is fair. You pretend to be happy on this day, eating chocolate, writing little hearts, laughing. But deep down, the lingering question is just, “why? Why would they do this? Why did i deserve that?” Maybe you’ll get your answer, maybe you won’t.
MY QUESTION FOR YOU IS, WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE? EVERY EVAN KINNIE IS SO CUTE.
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Barty Crouch Jr kinnies
You guys probably are stalking your crush right now. You feel like you have to match personalities or stand out from the crowd for someone you like. So on valentines, you’ll find out specifically what your friends like and make a special card or gift for them. Then you play it off, saying “it’s nothing really.” We know damn well it’s not nothing. So when they say thank you, or give you the slightest praise, you get giddy inside.
DONT LOSE YOURSELF.
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These are just assumptions, so if I get these wrong, DO NOT COME AT ME MAN. THIS IS ME TRYING.
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sentientstump · 5 months ago
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Hi Stump!
How do you typically set yourself up for drawing? Is it an almost ritualistic practice (having a set location, time, and/or headspace and so forth) or something you relax into when something else isn't happening (like voluntarily holding your breath and then returning to normal breathing)? Do you enjoy whichever of these you experience, or is it just part of the process?
And what was the last kind of bug you saw? :D
Hi Max! Looking back... yes, i did have set ups for drawing! Let me try to remember something..
I usually was in my 1×2(ish) bed after dinner time and homework time, sitting leaning on pillow leaning on wall. I usually had no one to talk to in those late times, so i was bored and also itching to do something, to make use of free time. I guess i dont have that much "free time" anymore, i talk to two people per day now! (so, that explains the tumbleweeds here at the moment, i am a busy man Bl ...LOL)
i would usually put something to listen to at the same time? Music, songs (from only one band), original scores from different games i was normal about, hermitcraft episodes, video essays, streams and i think that's it
Big thing about me drawing in that pose is that i would get an increasing urge to fall to the left side, head on pillow and continue to draw that way? But listening to anything would be compromised, because left side now has pressure from the pillow! So it hurts now! I think I've grown since when i was a teenager when i wouldn't get that urge so quickly... Time goes.
I like to draw when it's pitch black. It feels safer somehow, maybe the screen could be lowered in brightness. In summer that can't happen, because we get lighter skies at night.
I like to post what i draw right away and not linger on it for too long. So i can close the art program for good and breathe out. If i catch a mistake later, then it's not my problem anymore, so yippee!
oh yeah and no glasses. their frame is too thick to see clearly. and i cannot get rid of smears 100%, so i could get tired eyes if im not careful i guess.
i saw a mosquito an hour ago, and it's one of those light kind? like it's smaller, less rigid, and most importantly more ANNOYING. i remember grumbling about them in my sleep last year, about their noise, how louder it sounded compared to other kinds.
Other than that.... I saw a black with a red stripe in the middle fuzzy caterpillar on a pavement side block. I was in a hurry so i didn't process it very much :c... wbu! :D
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