#im so happy that they havent given up
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i commented on a fic in january that the last chapt was posted in 2020 and TODAY the author told me that they have gotten side tracked BUT still haven't completely given up on the fic yet this might be divine intervention
#im so happy that they havent given up#theyre still posting fics#but for a completely different fandom#bUT DREAMS MAY COME TRUE#THEY SAID THEY * MIGHT * GO BACK TO WRITING IT SO.......#THERES A POSSIBILITY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN#THERES A POSSIBILITY#fic#ao3
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Oh! Fucking. Duh. Obvious Roxie post I can make today: here's an emote I made for the sp:te server! (With variants of different degrees of completion...)
I was gonna go back and shade the comic colors Roxie but. Just ended up going w the colors picked off the screenshot. This screenshot, specifically!
#mind the quality i ripped it from Somewhere but i dont remember where#i still havent gone and continued my Unhinged Screenshot Taking yet. but oh buddy when I do....#spto#sp comic#spvtw#fanart#art#roxie richter#emotes#discord emotes#blue sparks one there was just testing where i wanted to put some before i decided Overkill was The Way#like w the other ones. please do reblog this if you decide to use them in a server somewhere! i would like to know if they end up other +#+places#ooc#spto fanart#scott pilgrim fanart#spvtw fanart#spto roxie#scott pilgrim roxie#spvtw roxie#roxanne richter#roxy richter#actually. best day for it really. if anyone has any roxie screenshots or panels they want emotes from I'd generally consider them to begin +#+with but For Sure today. (generally if anyone wants a given shot/panel as an emote im happy to at least Try. i just need specifics)#(so far kim ones are my only Successful emote attempts Without panel/shot basis. i do need to try a ramona that was requested again...)#uhhh just to be safe i guess#potential eyestrain#i did try a version w the sparks more like they are in the show but it Didn't Look Good#feel free to try your own hand at it if you want#this post is scheduled btw :3c im still trying to work on another roxie piece... panel redraw....
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as the tumblr's resident snuffy expert I have to ask you what you think snuffy and lorenzo's actual legal relationship is (like did he take on the role of his guardian or is he technically more of a sponsor) and furthermore what you think their dynamic is like behind the scenes. like even if you accept the idea that snuffy is more of a father figure to lorenzo than an employer there's no way that this guy who was a homeless orphan until he was a teenager and the man who took him in *on the basis that he be athletically successful* have like. a normal unremarkable parent-child dynamic
Thanks for the question, sorry about the yapping
I'm torn on how to answer the legal relationship question. To me, it depends on how old you think Lorenzo is during the flashback. I always thought he was around 15-16, so I rarely consider an option where Snuffy isn't his legal guardian. However I could see some PIFA fuckery involved to avoid any legal trouble in the case he didn't have a legal guardian involved before becoming an adult legally.
Even then the process for getting gold teeth takes more than one day (all the visits you need to get your teeth properly checked for the procedure, the healing process takes months and more visits, etc) and he was near death so I'd like to think he was taken care/supervised of by Snuffy during that time (which is why Lorenzo's so attached to him). (the amount of care is up to interpretation bc it's hc territory anyway)
After that, when Lorenzo started playing football, *then* it's more of a sponsor/employer/advisor?/mentor? situation that occasionally bleeds into guardian-adopteé territory but never completely. I think they had something similar to how Ray Dark ended up dropping Kaiser at the BM dorms, except I think Snuffy directly had a hand in training/teaching Lorenzo before and still kept somewhat in contact during. I also like to think he got him a tutor or something, but this is more so I can sleep well at night. Snuffy IS the "what will you do when football's no longer an option" guy anyway so it's not unrealistic.
I need to add somewhere in this post that I believe/know in my heart that Snuffy picking up Lorenzo happened a bit after Mick died (months, maybe a year max) and specifically because of it. Comparing dead Mick & almost dying Lorenzo was super common when ch. 229 came out so I won't elaborate much on it, I just wanted to mention it.
Dynamics wise... There's too much going on for them to be in a normal boss and employee situation, Snuffy isn't fazed by Lorenzo's antics at all, Lorenzo goes up to Barou* to convince him to succeed Snuffy while also bringing up Snuffy's promise to Mick and also just everything about Lorenzo's reaction to Snuffy going back on his retirement, he literally told Barou he loved him & offered him a gold tooth. I don't think he says that to anyone yknow
*and by the way this interaction always stands out to me, since the timeline of events is not clear at all. all bc the fucking blue lock building is built like a prison and idk what time it is. I think Snuffy&Barou´s conversation happened at least some hours or a day after the Ubers introduction bit. During Lorenzo's backstory dump they're wearing pajamas but then Snuffy tells them it's time to train, so I assume it's the morning after that. Anyway I wonder if Snuffy just told him about it or if he directly asked him to talk to Barou. I feel like it's the former (given their reactions to Barou accepting Snuffy's deal) but the setup kinda makes it feel like the latter. whatever it was I think it's evidence for me to say that Snuffy trusts Lorenzo.
And I feel like there's nothing direct I can point to to say they're close enough to have a regular parent and child relationship. Still I feel like just by having Lorenzo be a NG11 and the fact that he enjoys football and doesn't scream cry and throw up when he loses or when he is inconvenienced (THE BAR IS ON HELL) makes me think Snuffy is mostly a positive influence on him. I like to think Snuffy does care a lot about him but he's the type of guy that shows it by meddling (kinda like Reo or younger Sae (who wasn't much of a meddler iirc. this makes sense in my mind)) and just isn't that visibly affectionate with anyone anymore.
More about the father and son thing. This is also headcanon territory I'm sorry. I don't think they, like, go out fishing as a bonding thing or anything like that. but I do think they don't go a week w/out talking bc I think Snuffy's a bit neurotic about how the people he cares about are doing because of reasons and Lorenzo loves talking people's ears off about everything and nothing. I think Lorenzo tried giving him an expensive gift with one of his first paychecks and mentioned "paying back his debt bit by bit" as a joke that wasn't really a joke and Snuffy's face twisted & he said something along the lines of Lorenzo not owing him anything and it was awkward between them for a while after that. I think its fucking WEIRD but they care abt each other and that's what matters
TL;DR: I think there had to be a point where Snuffy was his legal guardian or at least acted like it to some degree. In regards to their dynamic behind the scenes, that is not a father that is a grieving tutor-guardian-mentor-advisor-employer-professional football player and his renowned domesticated possum employee/adopteé who is soooooooo normal about worth.
#You said once that Barou is like Snuffy's cat who fucks up his furniture#& on that note Lorenzo's the weird mutt he rescued when he was a little too old to be taken adoption centre & now he's#really good at flyball (but it's kind of concerning given that he was picked up on the idea that he'd do flyball but I guess he likes#flyball now but also im kind of concerned about his thought process regarding worth and flyball scores and how it affects his interactions#with other dogs but he seems fine he's just kind of weird but its okay)#i dont want to overuse dog parallels but he literally barked. he also meowed but that was in one translation so idk#anddd i think echariie said something once abt lorenzo trying to pay back snuffy for all he did for him but i think he's no longer trying t#do so. but i do fully believe he used to and had his. in blue lock terms. awakening when he realized this is a sports for freaks#and brother. he is world class in freakery.#i just fucking say shit. one of u should take me out (kill)#lorenzos value thing is what makes me squint at snuffy a little honestly but its like. yeah sure#whatever i burnt all my braincells off typing this i literally havent eaten or blinked writing this.#commitment and a bit of mental illness methinks#txt#oh my fucking god this is so longgggggg#also . i thought abt this just now im an idiot but lorenzos def so happy bc now he's moving on to u25 probably and might get called for#the next world cup so was he excited abt playing on the same team as snuffy? fuck off#fuck offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff#they make me ILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#i dont want to look at this post anymore get out of my drafts
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Grrrggrrghhrrgrrr guys i think this game has ruined my life /SO VERY POSITIVE
I NEVER REALIZED HOW MANY MORE REFS I DO NEED TO MAKE FOR THESE MFS-- i had to redownload a bunch of their transparent pngs for ibispaint in the reference window and the references KEEP ON COMING ,,,,, LIEK I HAVE ANOTHER 7 TO DO POSSIBILITY I THINK ,,,, AND THE FIVE OF THEM ARE BISHOP OCS I LOVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF Wait no mayve its 9. Regardless theyre literally the color of the rainbow which is why im resharing these ITS THE PRIDE PARADE UP IN HERE
#sydneys thoughts#No need for tagging methinks these are stuff i posted in august :-D#But i never thought another game could impact me this Badly again 😭 its actually managed to get me over most of my own cult trauma and etc#I have so many bishop ocs now though i think it even more than nine aND I STILL HAVENT SHARED INFO ABOUT THEM YET#OTHER THAN LIKE.... PALOMA AND ARCHANGELOS... BUT THATS IT#Otherwise i still need to make smth for mysticccccc!!!! I know exactly how i want to interpret them now >:-]c mahito & bill personality /hj#The bishops ofthr fucking. Gay Faith. Geez louise#AND I JUST . IM HAPPY WITH THE SILLY ROLES IVE GIVEN EACH OF THEM.... I STILL RLLY NEED TO BUILD UP A COUPLE OF THEIR-#-PERSONALITIES HERE AND THERE... BUT........ a funny lil game abt cults and lamb...... april me would Not expect this much dedication#Like i shit you not ive made 25 videos for this damn game tOO#Im literally just yapping. SORRY 😭 🙏 im just happy
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u ever seriously wonder if ur gonna make it thru the year
#im#not even sad abt it.#just thinking.#i saw my aunt today and she bought me alc like every time i see a family member. lolololol i am mentally and physically ill i absolutely#failed at resisting temptation#mainly bc im a WRECK due to my period#i did not break the cycle of addiction that runs HEAVILY on both sides of my family 💀💀💀#maybe one day but that isnt today.#i actually havent drank in like a month whixh is awesome for me given. The Tendicies.#anyone else also feel like theyve taken a stimulant on alc????#like i have so much energy and joy but without the horrific heart racing symptoms#it’s bc it works on gaba receptors that seems to be what im lacking#bc neurontin (gabapentin) was the psych med that worked WONDERS for me and i’ve been on 10+ other meds that haven’t done SHIT#my doc wld not prescibe me last time i went despite being prescribed before and ir working wonderfully#she just upped my paxil which didnt do jack fucking shit#then i lost insurance so i havent been able to follow up w her But im working on that#it just sucks so much that the only time i feel relatively happy is on drugs#then i think well. at least im no longer in my benedryl phase like when i was younger💀#and im like wow it rly cld be worse. i guess.#tendencies*#oh jesus i am NOT proofreading this. sorry
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she wore moonlight like lingerie
#final fantasy#final fantasy 16#ff#ffxvi#jill warrick#my art#i have been plagued by the mental image of jill in a nightgown against the moonlight#clive moment#fr tho#ive said it before and ill say it again#clive gay as hell. i wouldve gone crazy by now#they STILL havent even kissed in my playthrough#60 percent in#MY GOD#unfortunately im not very happy w this drawing#something abt the colours or levels#but ive given up w trying to fix it to my liking#so here u go#*half hearted will smith pose*
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that guy
#one piece#eustass kid#my art#undescribed#<- its 2am and im brain has given up i'll go back tomorrow/later today to write some alt text#feel like i havent drawn anything serious in weeks. didnt vibe at first with the shading in the first one so i tried smth flatter.#i had thoughts i wanted to say about him but yeah. i like him. i like that he love his bestie a ton. and his style and kind of shitty#personality and worse temperament. he's fun. anyway goodnight. oh yeah. in french they translated a word as 'best friend' which made me#realized not a single characters that i can remember had ever called anyone best friend. then i check the english translation and turns out#they translated it as 'partner' (tis all about how kid and killer calls each other btw) a +100 eps later killer use the same word again thi#time its translated as 'partner' too and also i manage to catch the word these two been using. 'aibou' and well. there seems to Meanings an#all about this word im thinking i need to look it up properly when i remember to do it but i just happy these two love each other a lot yet#still refers to the others as 'teme' sometimes which man. so funny. i also love killer too btw. need to draw that hug. 12 years theyve been#in my life and i knew nothing of them till now its interesting feeling.
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Ehehehe the NYC dollcon exclusive is a tiefling doll, and he's available in pink!
That means discount Shakespeare Mercutio bjd *will* be happening! He'll be a smaller scale than everyone else, but I guess that's ok given I impulsively ended up going 1/3 for Vanora and Faolan >< also then maybe he can chill on my desk with me sometimes. Not sure how I'll manage his hair since he has an undercut but that's a problem for future future me xD current me is just excited tiefling won that poll lol
#quill's bjd adventures#happy birthday to meeee#i still need to get bodies for vanora and faolan >< but the con exclusive preorder doesnt end until end of October#and i have the option to make a deposit and pay the rest in person#i could also just grt the head and then order a separate body since the resin is resinssoul colors#and they have the digitigrade ming body so he could have hoofies :3#dde also has a listing for hoofed feet for logandolls bodies though and they're pretty#but the ming body is cheaper....#also did more work on dollbei jun's earmods of soom this weekend and im calling it quits#they're not perfect and there's still some marks that i cant seem to sand out. but i give up#if i try to get them perfect they're never going to be done and tbh the only reason i havent fully given up#and just listed them for sale is because i don't think he'd sell well with the dyeing and mods#but I'm close to being frustrated enough by it to just do that anyway so better stop while I'm ahead#they'll be somewhat hidden by the wig anyway#and i can probably hide other flaws with jewelry or something
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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Basically was made to basically take part in fuckin runescape fanart collab in the year of our lord 2023 and I am LIVING for it, anyway here's the linework I was in charge of
#rudolf draws sometimes#runescape#mind you i havent played this game since like 2008 but still im just so happy about the whole thing#cant wait to see how it gets colored either but MAN these lines were super fun#and i loved being given free reign on trying to give more detail to something super low poly and low detail#i was just given a screenshot of this dude's character and a lizard and told to go to town and lemme tell ya i est that kind of shit UP#anyway hopefully this is still sooooomewhat recognizable to any current fans and if not i apologize but pls enjoy it anyway bc im proud
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#im seeing things again that keep me from getting sleep and i feel like the world is trying to tell me something and im very scared#i know its not real but its hard to shake a feeling. it sucks idk ive tried therapy and meds neither really worked for me#i havent told anyone how bad its gotten because im afraid wnd people are counting on me#everything is too much effort and i selfishly just want to rest and do nothing#delete later umm#no like actually everything is telling me im not supposed to be here#cant do shit right. i fucked my whole life up and im only 22#so stupid tothink i could do anything with art and when im given the opportunity i get too overwhelmed becsuse i have one billion mental#illnesses. my parents are disappointed in me for like five different reasons i could name off the top of my head alone#its just like last year when i thought it was all over bc ingot rejected from 200 jobs then i got one but im not happy there euther#what a waste#i soent 22 years trying ti do art but once you lesve school you realize youre not good enough and you fucking suck and you cant get any job#and also you cant get into anything you want to donfor fun eithet#it literally could not be any clearer. im not supposed to be here this was a mistake#made the wrong choices in the wrong body doing the wrong thing always
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Bro moving and packing up and having to go through everything and keep finding the last remnants of your ex person fucking SUCKS
#im so excited to move#but this part is fucking BRUTAL#AND IM ON MY PERIOD#this is some sick form of torture#im sure of it#the universe just keeps testing me#and i think i might be failing#🥲🥲#its rough out here#i cant wait to be done#and gone#and away from here#away from all the memories#away from our apt#bc its not mine#its ours#you’re just not here anymore#:/#i just found a love letter you wrote me and i didnt even read it. just seeing it broke me down man#i hate this#i hate that you left#i hate that you gave up on me#bc i still havent given up on you#i never will#ik we werent meant to be together and thats fine#but i wish you so much happiness#and not the fake distracted kind#i hope you find real and genuine happiness#and i hope it sticks#and i hope the same for me
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#per my last reblog#i think it really does show how if youre worrying about making someone feel loved and accepted then youre probably doing well already#but my family has never cared about how i might feel#its really weird the way they are about emotions#like they dont understand someone can feel more than base happy/sad#so its like im feeling worse than like how id feel having stubbed my toe they dont know what to do#and their solution is to ignore it#and ofc this just makes things so much worse over time because they are still doing this when because#of them doing this when i was a kid i now dont really know how to cope or anything#its just a lot and i havent felt as bad as i do now for a couple years#thats really scary actually bc i hoped i was getting better#but nope still feel like shit now i just know what and who to blame#but not what to do about it#i want to go back to church and thats the big warning sign#bc what i really want is for things tonbe easy and to be given ready made answers and solutions#church provided that stability and maybe thats part of the reason i clung on for so long even though i didnt believe#i dont want to be like this#i dont want this to be how i end up#i dont want to die here#but i dont know what im capable of#vent post
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went on the best date ever. i spent three hours picking my outfit and making sure my eyeliner was perfect. accidentally got nail glue all over my hand trying to glue my demonias back together but he didnt mind.
he took me to a vintage store and bought me a poster of kimt’s the kiss, then we went to the record store and he bought me one of my favorite cocteau twins albums. we’re gonna listen to it the next time we trip together. he got me some buttons too (janis joplin, type o negative, and black sabbath). on the way out of the store a girl stopped her car to say she loved my dress.
he took me to a nice restaurant and i had the best fried rice ive ever had. then we ended the date by getting boba. another woman stopped me to tell me i was beautiful and he agreed with her, put his arm around me and smiled.
#i havent laughed so hard with someone in so long#he makes me so happy#he’s just as weird as i am#eating in restaurants usually gives me anxiety but i was completely calm with him#im so happy i have him now#id completely given up on the idea that i’d ever find someone i really liked#someone that treats me so well#someone that communicates so calmly and carefully#this is so epic
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looking back on my life i dont think anyone wanted me for anything other than helping them or making them laugh.. as soon as i stop being silly or helpful i dont matter
#i like being silly and helpful and i like to listen and be there for them and i like just existing next to the people i love#but unless im always like that im irrelevant#god forbid i need help or cheering up or anything#like#i told my best friend - ex best friend? - multiple times im very happy abt her having a kid and that i cant wait to meet him#and the last time we spoke i told her ive been having issues and that i want to explain why ive been so absent#and i havent heard from her since my birthday#which was the beginning of april#shes not the only one like ive lost all of my friends this way - the moment i stopped replying for a while they would stop trying#despite me telling them im not doing it maliciously and that if i dont reply it means im struggling#and no one ever even sent an 'you okay?' message#is that too much to ask for?#and even family is like that.#told my cousin - who was the person closest to me growing up - that i have depression and all my behavioral patterns#and i thought she of all people would understand given that shes literally working with ND people#but no#i dont think even my parents remember i have issues 99% of the time
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.🫧🫧🫧
#is my day off and im happy cuz i have 2 days off in a row which i havent had in 2wks#and its been an exhausting couple of weeks so i had already given myself permission to relax today#but ive just been in my rocking chair and on my phone since i got up#and i feel loke i should move on to a dif activity or at least Watch Something#but i just keep being on my phone#and maybe thats fine but UGH#idk anyway#is the adhd most probs#cest moi#i guess#figgy rambles#adhd problems#figgy has a day off
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