#im really sorry to be a bother
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medicasino · 1 year ago
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vent below so dont feel like you have to read this 👍i simply have no where else to put this bc i dont want to Bother My Friends
god i wish i could just kill myself but i like. cant. there's too much stopping me. but i dont want to do anything anymore. i dont want to deal with this constant misery of being trapped in a brain with a death wish hellbent on making me want to die horrifically. i wish people just hated me outright so i had a good excuse to just call it quits on life and die
#blaire.txt#vent#suicide tw#suicidal ideation tw#suicide cw#suicidal ideation cw#i like playing games but literally everything besides that just feels pointless. i want to draw but like. its miserable.#even creating stories is stressful now because nothing i can come up with is even the slightest bit original#its all just utter garbage. i want to give up. i dont want to deal with this shit#please god just hate me already. i wish everyone just wanted me to die#so i could. so i could just lay down and never get up. i hate working i hate having to take care of myself i hate doing anything#i hate living in this house i hate the way ive become! i wish i wasnt so demotivated and lazy! i miss being able to DO THINGS!#but at this point im 17 and still an absolute fucking failure who just lives to disappoint . i want to kill myself but i cant#i dont know why people even care about me. because im really a terrible friend#every time i read past conversations ive had with people i want to die because im just so unlikeable i DONT GET why people stick around#im not mad at anyone but myself here. i just wish i was better. and not a total waste of space.#i want to die! i want to die! i want to die!!!#ugh its like i feel these things but also i feel nothing. like im empty. this is all my genuine thoughts and im losing it but also i feel s#disconnected from all of this#i feel so much yet so little. lol im truly just fucked up huh#whatever#im really sorry to be a bother#i really am i just have nowhere to go#and i dont want to bother my friends ig#repetition cw#repetition#repetition tw
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vegan-kaktus · 3 months ago
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EA's leaves are kind of dull, and I personally think TNW's are too bright, so here's my spin on a leaf default + a new mod :-D
Leaf variety mod
There are 4 different leaf textures in the game files but only one is used. I talked with @shastakiss some years(?) ago and she mentioned an unfinished mod Neder started working on to make the leaf use different textures. Unfortunately, Neder couldn't get it to work. Shasta kindly sent me said mod and I handed it over to @lamare-sims last year who of course managed to fix it (thank you so much once again, you're a legend!!)
Note #1: worth mentioning, this mod will only affect leaves that spawn after you've installed the mod! the same goes for my mesh fix included in the default below. Note #2: if you already have this mod in you dl-folder, delete that file and use the one from this download if you're planning on using my default (otherwise my uv-map and texture edit will not work).
Defaults
Replaces all 4 leaf-textures with new, more colorful and less blocky textures. I also edited the "effect"-textures of single leaves (the ones falling from the trees). This default can be used without the mod mentioned above, but then only the "original" texture will be used - see second image.
The leaves that spawns under the tree (the one sims can't rake), it was impossible to make it look good with any of the four textures, so I re-mapped it and gave it it's own texture (256x256px). There's also an optional default for the rake included, I edited a tiny error in the mesh and gave it a texture makeover. I made a separate LOD90-default for the leafpile (meaning: the mesh in neighborhood view) and instead of replacing the textures I repo'd them, meaning that the LOD90 default works with any leaf texture default you might use (it will only be showing one texture in neighborhood view).
Texture sizes are all the same as EA's:
Leaves: 512x512px x4 (my default +1: 256x256px)
Rake: 128x256px
Leaf effects: 32x32px x3
Edited leaf-related cc
I edited Sophie-David's leaf pile pet bed (the mesh) and repo'd it to leafpile_txtr, meaning the mesh will now pick up my default (or any other default you might have for leafpile_txtr, and if none - EA's original texture). The mesh now needs seasons + pets, since it's repo'd. Their recolors are not included, so be sure to download them from the link above if you want them and replace their mesh with mine!
I also edited Shakeshaft's leaf cover mesh (warning T$R) , I repo'd it to one of the leaf textures and made recolors - also repo'd - to the rest of the textures. This mesh and recs now need seasons, this also means that the mesh and recolors* can be used without my default.
*with the exception of rc4, which is repo'd to my custom leaf texture, found in my leaf default.
Recommended mod
I recommend simler90's Gardening Rake Leaf Pile Mod or jfade's leaf pile fix (I have no idea what the difference between those two mods are, they edit the same thing so choose one of them).
Nothing in this download is dependent on each other* so feel free to pick and choose what you want :-) remember you can only have one default for the leaves, meaning that if you have any other default (1, 2, 3, 4) or Shakeshaft's/Sophie-David's original meshes, make sure you remove them before installing my files. Everything has been compressed to reduce file size, as usual. Do let me know if I messed up anywhere!
*with the exception of rc4, see above.
DOWNLOAD: SFS | MTS
Credits: Neder, @lamare-sims (many many thanks!!), @shastakiss, Sophie-David, Shakeshaft and lasty EA.
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Meet the Errand Boy.
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Team Fortress 2 × Gravity Falls crossover AU because the two canon timelines sorta match, yipeee!!!
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1971 (2 years after being kicked out at 1969)- Recently turned 19 and short on money, Stanley Pines gets hired by The Administrator as MANN.CO's errand boy alongside Miss Pauling (since the latter was falling behind on her work due to her excessive overworking).
He is saddled with various grunt work such as accompanying Miss Pauling to her arrands of burying bodies, killing and eliminating witnesses; delivering supplies and packages to the mercenary teams; and occasionally even gets to replace some of them for a few battles if they happen to be unavailable on short notice!
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the1trueanon · 1 year ago
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hehehehe finally got these done!! Reboot is so fun to draw; I swear drawing him just bursting into laughter immediately made me feel so much better about literally everything 🥰 He has such a pretty smile, especially when it's genuine. I love him being silly and giggly 🥰 I want him to just be able to laugh and be happy .....buuuut at the same time I also want to put him through so many of The Horrors(TM), so maybe my wants shouldn't be trusted XD
As always, Welcome Home belongs to Clown (partycoffin), and Reboot!Wally/the Reboot AU belongs to @bloodrediscream!💖💖
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angelpuns · 8 months ago
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Leo going through the horrors but the horrors are just that he had a shitt day and no one bothered to save him any cookies :/
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viwifey · 2 months ago
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CHRISTIAN LINKE ON VI IN SEASON 2
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neodiekido · 1 month ago
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kaitos diabolical machiavellianist scheme to stop his classmates from hating themselves
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recent-rose · 8 days ago
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yknowwww there is something... deeply uncomfortable about the way mel never speaks directly to viktor in the 'build hextech weapons' scene. she really only speaks to jayce. plenty of people have pointed this out already but like the one scene they actually share a meaningful interaction and she treats him like he's beneath her. all this after jayce has emphasized how important viktor is, that hextech is theirs, together. she unequivocally ices him out, there's no other way to interpret this scene. the way it's shot too - from viktor's perspective, looking up at her, as though to reinforce the same belief in him. like he doesn't even bother expecting respect from her - or anyone from the upper echelon of piltover. he's fully accustomed to being dehumanized by everyone around him at this point. sometimes even by jayce, despite the trust they clearly have in each other.
then of course after this scene is viktor experimenting on himself. it's pretty clear that he has internalized his own dehumanization. crazy.
#dont open these tags unless you want to read an essay im so serious#quick disclaimer i do properly ship jayvik as of s2e9 aha#sorry abt the like. spam. but yk this what rewatching an insanely detailed show with fresh eyes does to a mfer#arcane#.txt#i think mel and jayce (among others) both exhibit the same kind of casual classism#jayce somewhat more obviously with his whole 'the zaunites are dangerous' spiel#and mel more subtly. its in the way she shows very little concern for the plight of the undercity until yk. it explodes in her face#she's been on the council for a decade. has done little but rub elbows with the elites of piltover and amass her own fortune#pretty clear she hasn't so much as blinked at the horrific state of zaun. this makes her a very willing participant in its oppression fyi#and then of course her treatment of viktor#ive seen it pretty heavily debated and i don't really see any reason to deny or defend these actions of hers#likewise when jayce accosts viktor and reprimands him for going to the undercity or makes a hextech weapon there's no reason to excuse him#these are clear examples of classist behaviour and i dont think it does anybody any favours to ignore it#jayvik#<-tagged bc those who do not want to read criticism of or about mel will likely have it blocked#im not here to stir the pot thanks#there's also something a bit kooky about the idea of 2 privileged rich kids commiserating about the sad state of the undercity#meanwhile a literal resident of said undercity whose perspective they could REALLY use is dying in a lab using his own body to try and#cure a common zaunite ailment/disease#meanwhile they wont help until they feel piltover is 'safe' (aka has WMDs to use against any perceived threat aha....)#anyway#its all very complicated and i dont doubt that their intentions were good (...mostly) but the road to hell and all that#it just rly bothers me that viktor was like. right there. a wealth of insight into zaun. and neither jayce nor mel even bother engaging him
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moonymauk · 11 months ago
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hi @hotvintagepoll I've made a letterboxd list with all the actors from this tournament if anyone would like an easy enough way to see all the guys and the movies they've been in <3
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shootingstarrfish · 10 months ago
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Possible ideas for you: Belphie, Asmo and Barbatos have long hair and Lucifer and Satan are transmasc it's totally canon Solmare told me themselves
Or Solosatan or whatever their ship name is idk lmao
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omg ok so ill get back to the other ones soon but i could not get :3 top scars satan out of my head, and then i thought about how lucifer would absolutely be too restless to let his scars heal properly so here we are :D
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skrunksthatwunk · 11 months ago
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i just know his ass has a debilitating urge to chew ice constantly (<- projecting)
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b0nelessdoodles · 3 months ago
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was feeling the sad beige mom in my soul tonight so had to doodle a her 'cause its a crime i don't draw more mystic flour tbh
also have my dumb message to my friend about it
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lostxmelody · 5 months ago
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personakoto
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mishy-mashy · 8 months ago
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I said this in a whole reblog, but just copy-pasting to a separate post because I think it'll give some reading comprehension and reblogs don't show up in the search feature.. again, I'm reiterating what I said in another post.
Go check out @demidokuriya 's post for this; OP's post made me put this all down in like. 20 minutes. Mind went vroom vroom cuz HEY THEY'RE ONTO SOMETHING.
(They also reblogged the post with some hint to some behind the scenes of what led to the ideas if you wanna check that out)
Look below at how, when Mineta told AFO to spare Tokoyami, AFO specifically went "..."
He remembers Jirou and thinks, The braying howls of the weak...
He was going to take Tokoyami's Quirk. He took Hawks'. But after Mineta pleaded with him, AFO just straight-up left and didn't take anyone else's Quirk.
AFO saw Yoichi in Mineta.
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These scenes are near-identical to each other.
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Mineta and Yoichi (at that time) are both much smaller than the normal person at their age
They're both hurt, yet dragged themselves up from the ground to throw something at AFO, to get his attention and make their voice
Both are considered weak, even if they have a Quirk (Mineta's Pop-Off and Yoichi's undeveloped Factor)
The fact that Yoichi got AFO's attention here by throwing a can at him, while Mineta got his attention by throwing a Pop-Off ball; and it stuck.
Mineta's call for his attention landed and actually stuck to AFO. This is unlike when Yoichi and his can bounced off, and AFO kicked him, not listening to him; AFO listened to Mineta and left Tokoyami alone, technically doing what Mineta wanted—to not hurt this person.
AFO just went on to hurt more people away from Mineta's [Yoichi's] eyes so the small weakling wouldn't see.
Yoichi and Mineta both cried to AFO to not hurt in his ways, when AFO was intent on stealing people's Quirks
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AFO even stole Hawks' Quirk during this time.
He had time to steal Hawks' Quirk, and though he could've tossed him to the side, he let Hawks stand in his way.
He had the energy. Right after this event, he flew off and left the scene. But he didn't go for Tokoyami immediately.
And this let Mineta play his part, and remind AFO of Yoichi.
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"A putrid, festering Quirk Factor."
That sounds like Yoichi, AFO.
".. such garbage."
Hey hey hey, what did Yoichi throw at him when they were kids?
A discarded can. Garbage.
This chapter (385) where AFO listens to Mineta is literally called [A Youthful Urge].
Mineta told AFO to take his Pop-Off (hurt him) instead. But last time, AFO hurt Yoichi by kicking him; this time, AFO not only listened to Mineta to not hurt Tokoyami, but didn't touch Mineta at all.
Even though this time, Mineta [Yoichi] offered to take that place of suffering.
Yoichi didn't do that back then. AFO just turned on little Yoichi anyway.
Yoichi through his whole existence is literally [the braying howls of the weak]. AFO acknowledges he's weak and idealistic, yet he still loves him.
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Side note about this panel, I think it's interesting that in this vision, this was the first time we saw Yoichi's eyes: when he was being defiant, despite being pushed down by someone much stronger than him.
Really characteristic of him, honestly. Yoichi's soft-spoken and frail, but it's always reiterated that Yoichi had a powerful will against his stronger big brother.
Mineta at this moment reminded him too much of Yoichi, because the two scenes are near-identical to each other. Parallels, really.
Reiterating something from OP's post that I reblogged this from;
"The reminder of his brother made him uncomfortable, so he hurried away."
AFO didn't want to hurt Yoichi again.
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definitelynotnia · 8 months ago
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ok here's what we know so far
crabbo has been sending adi asks and through adi's blog found me and i am insane and love procrastinating so i have taken it upon myself to unmask crabbo (i will stop at any moment if crabbo srsly wants me to) and adi has graciously decided to help
Facts:
Adi cannot be crabbo bcz he is helping me find crabbo also nobody sends pickup lines to themselves
@h0bg0blin-meat, @chimera-tail and @kaal-naagin (im assuming this is Kal di?) know who crabbo is
Kal di cannot be crabbo as she didnt know who crabbo is until Chase told
Chase cannot be crabbo bcz she told crabbo that Kal di thought she 'was a suspect' but after telling Kal di crabbo's true identity she no longer was suspected
@awaara-bf keeps liking and reblogging crabbo posts but crabbo said they've never interacted with me as themselves and I have interacted with Ray before so Ray cannot be crabbo (ig ur just enjoying the crabvestigation lol hi)
Raman got crabbo asks so Raman cannot be crabbo, for now...
@randomx123 said he has 'no clue' about crabbo but also knows that Kal di received crabbo asks
there is a "Bulbul" involved but i do not know who Bulbul is yet so we keep that lead open for now
So far I have two suspects, @18shadesofmay do u have anything to add?
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masu-pasu · 1 year ago
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can we please stop being weird about zora. she's a grown adult woman of color and it's really fucking creepy to see people being like 'omg zora probably can't read... she's totally feral, she eats raw meat and pisses on the forest floor like a dog, she probably had to be taught how to speak by bliss ocean--' like jesus CHRIST.
Do you understand how creepy that actually fucking is to say. it makes my skin crawl reading it, frankly. her parents were fucking archeologists, they died when she was Young, not when she was an Infant, she is Not some feral beast living in the woods eating squirrels with her bare hands, and the fact that y'all don't say this about any of the other characters in epithet, only the latina/indigenous woman is the grossest part of it all. it's not like you can't say that zora doesn't take showers or shit like that, cuz that shit is canon, I know, but can we just have 'cowgirl who doesn't shower' without the added detail of 'omg and also she was raised feral and eats raw meat out of a dog bowl and-' like y'all. cmon.
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honestly it rlly feels like y'all really saw this and went 'time to make her feral and uncivilized' i fucking see you and you're gross
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