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soursherbat · 1 month ago

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LAMB X BISHOP MASTERPOST YEAAAA!!!

(original template link)

this genuinely took me so long but i needed to explore my ship dynamics with ramzi and his bishops! more details under the cut if you want to know more- warning this post is LONG!!!:

[edit: i was obviously rlly sleep deprived while writing this so im editing it for better readability, including using more consistent pronouns for everyone bc reading it back this post. was very hard to parse 💀]

in order, just adding notes and addendums :3c im super sleep deprived so im trying my best but i need to yap about them

ramzi's pronouns are it/he/they!

narinder;

initially a very slow burn relationship, this sheet shows them at their peak. it takes a very long time for the lamb to forgive narinder, and vice versa, but once they're over their differences they're committed.

notes;

he/they for narinder :3c he's bisexual with a preference for masc presenting people! (using he/him for this post)

prefers to be the big spoon but will allow ramzi to take that spot if it really insists on it

reaallly loves to wear the lamb's fleeces and cloaks (the only clothing of theirs that will fit him) but is too proud to directly ask for them

narinder really does not like most people- the only ones he usually socializes with are ramzi and his siblings, possibly a follower he can tolerate for a few minutes. if ramzi is talking to others while narinder is shadowing him he tends to just flick his tail and sulk quietly until his lamb gives him attention again

narinder isn't great with words, he prefers to show ramzi his love with physical affection (in private) and acts of service, while ramzi is more than willing to shower narinder with loving words and acts of devotion

ramzi refuses to confess its feelings to narinder first, full stop. narinder waits and waits, but eventually gives in and tells ramzi how he feels first- ramzi is still feeling bitter and betrayed by narinder, not appreciating them snatching it from its peaceful death to be a tool in his games. they're both incredibly conflicted, it takes a long while for them to work their differences out. its not something that can be solved with a single conversation, but eventually they come to terms with everything that's happened and make amends

ramzi wouldn't actually squash the bug- it'd prefer to just grab it and take it out of whatever space its invaded, narinder will just smack it and be done with it

im just applying the driving one if i ever make a modern au lmfao

narinder cannot cook to save his damn life after being locked up for so long- ramzi had to learn quickly being raised by ratau, i'll be real i dont think that rat knows how to cook

that prickly cat would prefer not to show his love for the lamb in public, but he might sneak a kiss while no one is looking... ramzi however doesn't care, though it does like to fluster narinder a little by flirting while others are around

these two would kill for each other, narinder is practically begging the lamb to let him do so actually- nari is described as the lamb's shadow (affectionately) by most because of how often he's seen just following it around the cult. god help you if you confess your love to the lamb while he's around- though ramzi does get pretty jealous if it sees anyone making eyes at his special kitty...

nari is 4,000 years old virgin to me lmao. ramzi has had a few relationships before narinder, it actually marries shamura before nari- they're not beating the toxic yaoi allegations any time soon they were still battling their resentment around that time

i'll touch on the spicier dynamics in a dedicated post sometime >:3c that'll apply to the rest too-

i wouldn't describe narinder as being awkward, but moreso stoic and lost really. he's also just incredibly pissed off with ramzi, feeling robbed of his rightful status as a god and feeling jealous of everything its built for itself in such a small amount of time- later on he's more flustered than nervous or awkward because that damned lamb wont stop flirting with him

gods help you if narinder even sees you making eyes at the lamb. he's incredibly possessive over his former vessel, its perceived rejection of him made something in him snap and they want to possess it, even if he knows that's not exactly plausible... he's normal, i swear (<-lying) ramzi returns some of that energy, it really does not like followers flirting with its favorite cat- i'll be the first to admit that they've got some toxic codependency going on

leshy;

leshy uses any pronouns! he really just don't care that much, same with his sexuality (using he/him for simplicity for this post)

these two fight over who gets to be the big spoon, since they're nearly even in height (leshy tries to argue his branches make him taller) it makes it easier for them to trade big/little spoon positions- but theyre so competitive they end up wrestling over it

leshy can't even see the clothes he's wearing, but he likes the idea of ramzi matching with him, even if he won't directly admit that

ramzi is rarely called by name when leshy is around, it's always 'lambzi', 'lamby', 'cottonball', or any other seemingly sarcastic pet name he can come up with for it- meanwhile ramzi often calls him 'wiggler' or 'wormy'

compared to leshy, ramzi is a little less outgoing. leshy loves to be the center of attention, he loves to pull pranks and cause mischief whenever he can.

ramzi's quick to let leshy know he is loved through any means, though surprisingly leshy is a bit more inconspicuous about showing his affections for his lamb through old traditions it clearly has no clue about but leshy gets a bit of joy watching its confusion (shamura tells it later-)

these two have a pretty easygoing relationship, at first leshy is upset about his lost godhood but he quickly begins to like staying with the lamb when he learns how accommodating and, frankly, extremely chaotic it is- they get along very well and have a teasing, poking and earnestly soft relationship rather early on. leshy admits his feelings first, mainly getting fed up that ramzi hasnt confessed that it obviously likes him by that point

neither of them mind bugs, leshy actually likes them quite a bit. they'd prefer to catch and release rather than smash them

the poor worm is blind of course he cant cook!! he might be able to if he really focused on building muscle memory and focusing his senses but he's honestly just too lazy to bother, heket's cooking is better anyway

leshy doesn't care if anyone is looking, he loves his lamb! he gets a little embarrassed when they know its siblings are around, but she does get a kick out of knowing he's making narinder jealous

ramzi would lay down his life for his precious chaotic grub, it knows leshy is more than capable but it can't help but worry sometimes- leshy knows ramzi can handle itself so he's pretty relaxed about everything, unless ramzi comes home particularly hurt

i like to think leshy was a bachelor in his time... why not?? he's the bishop of chaos, im sure he's started a love triangle intentionally to watch them fight over him- ramzi however is a little less experienced in romance

leshy has not an ounce of awkwardness in his body, ramzi's a little awkward when he says something particularly unhinged but otherwise they match each other's freak a little too well

leshy would never admit to ramzi that the smell of anyone else stuck to his wool makes leshy a little jealous... another reason he likes to lend his clothes to ramzi, really-

heket;

she/they/he for heket, she's bisexual with a preference toward women (using she/her for simplicity on this post)

heket is the big spoon, no questions asked. she loves to cradle that lamb in her arms and it is NOT one to complain about that

heket doesnt lend out her clothes very often, but she likes to see how baggy they are on ramzi- she quite likes seeing it wake up wearing her shirts...

ramzi is incredibly formal with heket, usually referring to her by name or some honorific to show its respect (something she appreciates greatly)- meanwhile heket is always referring to the lamb by anything but its name, really

heket's level of social battery depends on the day, some days she would prefer not to speak to anyone, others she's more outgoing

heket shows her affection by making sure ramzi isn't overworking itself, making sure it's eating and sleeping- she knows it can care for itself, but she just wants to protect her lamb.

there's absolutely no way heket would swallow her pride and confess her brewing feelings for ramzi, she waits very patiently for it to finally get its nerve up and admit that it wants to pursue a relationship with her- after (mostly) healing her throat, she doesn't feel so lonely in the cult once her voice returns and she begins to feel conflicted about ramzi... she wants to hate him, but it's doing everything they can to help her siblings and she can't help but respect and admire it for that, she would admit that she would never consider it if she was still a god-

heket thinks bugs are cute, she'll either catch and release them or keep them in a little container for a bit (she's never beating the weird little sister allegations to me)

ramzi's cooking definitely is not as good as heket's, if it cooks a meal the whole cult is asking when it's heket's turn next LMAO-

PDA ruins heket's cool and stoic exterior in her eyes, though she can't just say that to the lamb- she'll gladly give it a hug or a kiss when nobody's looking, though

honestly, ramzi is just protective over all of the bishops. it feels terribly for killing them repeatedly and making them suffer in purgatory, and it never wants to see them suffer again- heket knows the lamb is strong, she's seen it with her own eyes. that doesn't stop her from worrying for it a little when it leaves on a crusade, however...

heket has some relationship experience, though its been a WHILE- forneus and ramzi are her most recent romantic endeavors and she's incredibly awkward about both of them

heket is insanely awkward, she tries to maintain a cool exterior but it's so hard when that damned lamb is so cute and that sweet cat mom is so kind and shaped- whats a woman to do in her situation??

she can get a little bit jealous if her buttons are pushed on the wrong day, but other than that ramzi and heket have a pretty open relationship

kallamar;

any pronouns for kallamar! though he/she are most preferred, she's very lax about his gender and loves to experiment (using he/she interchangeably, lamb is referred to by it/its for simplicity)

despite being nearly a full foot and a half taller than ramzi, kallamar loves to be its little spoon! he feels so safe in his lamb's embrace, she would never leave if it was possible

none of her clothes would fit the lamb, but he does have clothing made for it often! he'll be damned if he lets ramzi walk around looking anything less than presentable, even if its naked it must be TASTEFULLY naked- (though his definition of what that means is a bit nebulous. ramzi's convinced he just wants to ogle)

they love to make up pet names for each other, 'mari' and 'kallie' are ramzi's favorites to use for its precious husband. kallamar is particularly fond of calling ramzi his puppy, often flustering it-

kallamar is a YAPPER and she will not shut up about how much he loves her lamb! ramzi doesn't mind it, but she's often talking so much that it can't properly find the words to express it back- so it gives gifts often, knowing how much its wife loves to adorn himself in jewelry and silks!

ramzi is actually a little bit intimidated by kallamar's experience in love and how pretty he is, kallamar ends up making a very dramatic love confession in front of everyone, totally flustering ramzi (though it has to admit it really loves the dedication!)

he is TERRIFIED of bugs kallamar will shriek so loudly if she finds even a small beetle anywhere near her living space- ramzi often finds itself catching the little bugs while kallie screams bloody murder in the corner

kallamar absolutely can cook but he doesn't want the responsibility of cooking entire meals for the whole cult so she intentionally cooks like shit to avoid it- ramzi catches onto that pretty quickly though

these two need to get a ROOM the confessional is NOT to be used in that way!!!

kallamar's overprotective attitude mainly comes from a place of not wanting the lamb's image to be ruined, he'll tend to its makeup and wardrobe, even helping to enforce loyalty amongst its flock to keep its image pristine- and kallamar is just an easy bullying target, ramzi is Very quick to put an end to that!

kallamar is absolutely more experienced than ramzi, though he's no less dedicated to it. it makes their relationship very calm, there's very little tension between them!

ramzi is very awkward around kallamar at first, he's pretty indignant and a bit cruel to it during the first few weeks- once ramzi begins offering him gifts and praise she warms up rather quickly, however. ramzi's disarmingly cute appearance and dirty mouth tends to make kallamar a nervous mess sometimes, though...

there's not a single ounce of jealousy between these two 🧍‍♂️ they both understand that they're dedicated to one another, and can dedicate themselves to others without compromising their bond

shamura;

they/it for mura! i feel that they enjoy experimenting with their clothing in relation to their gender, but they prefer neutral pronouns (using they/them for mura and he/him for ramzi for readability)

these two take turns on who gets to be the big spoon, though usually shamura claims that spot

shamura loves to weave clothes for ramzi! they enjoy seeing his face light up when they incorporate designs ramzi has shown them that sheep often wore, wanting to keep that memory alive for him

they're pretty formal at first, but the two of them can't help but call each other by loving nicknames once they've become comfortable with each other- ramzi often calls shamura 'softie' or 'dearest'

shamura prefers to keep to themself, though they've grown rather attached to webber. they've basically adopted the little creature, that's their son...

once clarity has returned to shamura through ramzi's healing, they have a better grasp on their words- but they still struggle to word their feelings a lot of the time. they try their best, but they find it easier to give gifts or show their affections with physical intimacy when words fail them

shamura is incredibly paranoid and wary of ramzi's presence when they're first indoctrinated, until they finally break bread and reach an understanding, shamura doesn't even consider the lamb could feel anything but hatred and resentment toward them. they assume that he wants revenge, but learns that he just wants to help them- it takes a bit longer for the fear to truly leave shamura, but when they never feel that dagger in their back, they begin to soften he clearly isnt lying to them, he's helped all of their siblings become as happy as he can- and he asks nothing in return of them? it feels too good to be true, but they can't help but trust him eventually ramzi confesses first, and is initially (softly) rejected... but theyre not entirely opposed! mainly conflicted, for a while-

they both love bugs, obviously- though sometimes ramzi gets bitten while trying to show shamura the little spiders he's captured

shamura likes to cook but they prefer liquid only foods- it's not horrible, but sometimes they want more variety

shamura is a bit shy about their relationship with the lamb, they're the least experienced with this sort of thing out of all of the bishops- war and reason have no room for love and compassion, after all. they're learning, with ramzi's help

if someone even LOOKS at ramzi the wrong way, shamura is the first to come to the lamb's defense. both a form of devotion, claiming ramzi as their charge they'd guard with their life, and a form of facing their grief- they'd ended ramzi's life once, they don't want to see it hurt anymore

these two match each other's freak so well its scary- you dont wanna see what happens in the mating tent when these two are in there!!

after shamura's initial wariness and shortness with ramzi fades, they become incredibly shy and awkward- they don't know how to navigate all these new feelings, and they don't really know who to turn to for advice

shamura is very possessive of their lamb- they were the first to be wed by him, after all- not to mention i personally think them being a spider influences this quite a bit,

WOAW THATS IT!!! holy shit thats a lot of text.... anyway if u have any questions abt any of them or want more clarification feel free to send me asks i love to yap abt them all <3

oh boy im not looking forward to putting all the tags on this

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hitomisuzuya · 2 months ago

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Hii, may I ask for a fic where scara and reader are a pair of emo best friends listening to emo music, super loud! In her room while her parents are fighting? They've always been sexually curious and experimenting. Soo reader's sad, he says fuck it, gets on top, and starts grinding his knee against her clit?

Usually, they NEVER get too far, so the reader knows that he's committed when she moans.

Soo cunnilingus? Maybe they likee each other? Praise? Calling her parents dumb and just validating her complaints (like if u going to fight dont do it around your spawnling?) A little bit of 'we could do better than them' bc reader is lowkey scared of ending up like them???

Please ik this is a bit too detailed, im kinda venting lol. Please feel free to omit a bunch if you must.

-shyent💗

scaramouche x fem!reader. smut. clit stimulation. cunnilingus. praise, validation, and comfort.

it wasn't too detailed at all. i hope this makes you feel better, hun❤️ i think we all can relate this more than we like to admit😞

you have your hands covering your ears, your eyes squeezed shut. not even the loud music playing in your room soothed you. your body was tense with restless anxiety.

and scaramouche couldn't stand it. he knew he needed to do something. anything. anything to get you to focus on him and not the sounds of your parents fighting downstairs. when you are focused on him, it was like he was the only thing in this world. you noticed nothing else but him.

he reached over and took your hands off of your ears. you'd told him once that you enjoyed the sound of his voice. he put his lips next to your ear. "i can take you somewhere else, if you want," he offered, moving closer to you on your bed.

you shook your head, turning the music down a little. "no, it's okay. it wouldn't really matter. i am still going to know that they are fighting," you would still be tense the same way be it here or at his house.

"i can go tell them to shut the fuck up," he offered, it was more of a way to get to you smile. because it he really would. he would open your door and shout at them to shut the fuck up. loudly. he didn't give a shit. and that's the exact reason why you smiled, if only a little.

"you know, they might shut up if they hear me making you moan," he tentatively posed the idea. more to see if you would crack another little smile, but at the same time, he was completely serious. his hands had gotten up your shirt and into your bra while you were making out with him the other day.

he sure made you moan when he started pinching and stroking your nipples. he fed off of it. his hand has been so close to dipping into your panties. he is so fucking in love with you he couldn't stand it. making you focus on him would calm you down.

and that was what you needed.

you need him.

"you think they might?" you asked. his eyes widened a little. his cock pulsed with the hope you were serious. there was only one way for him to find out.

"i think they might," scaramouche turned down the music, and put his hands on your shoulders. he felt you immediately relax a little the moment you felt his touch. he laid you down on your bed, drinking in the way you blushed as you looked up at him.

he counted himself lucky that you wore a skirt today. your skirt bunched up around your thighs as he got on top of you. tentatively at first, he started to rub his knee on your clit. it wasn't long before your breathing turned shaky sounding, your clit starting to swell and throb.

he shivered as your juices began to soak his knee. he increased the pressure, keening soft moans from your throat. he would've leaned down and kissed you had he not wanted to drink in your face starting to contort with pleasure.

you rocked your hips up, grinding your clit on his knee. he could see the whole world falling away from you, focusing only on him in a way that made his cock ache more. your panties sticking and unsticking around your clit added extra friction, hazing your senses with pleasure.

you have forgotten all about your parents.

reaching your hand up, you caressed his cheek. "scara, can you make me feel good?" you asked, letting out a louder moan as he twisted his knee on your clit.

scaramouche did not need to be asked twice. how many fantasies had he had about you that started off just like this. the amount of cum he spilled into his hands jacking off at night to thoughts of you said as much.

there was such a look of desperation in your eyes. desperation for him. you are depending on him, and scaramouche latched onto that. "your parents really are fucking stupid," he moved down between your legs, moving your panties aside. you blushed seeing his mouth hovering above your pussy.

his tongue swept out to part your folds. he'd lost count of times he'd jacked himself off thinking about you grinding your pussy on his mouth. he licked long slow stripes up and down your pussy, groaning as your taste saturated his tongue. "i can't have my precious pet being so tense all the time."

the blush on your cheeks darkened hearing his words. something about hearing him call you his precious pet made your clit swell and throb more. you shifted restlessly on your bed, your hips jerking up to grind on his tongue.

scaramouche wagged the tip of his tongue around your clit, making moans come from you instead of words. your hands found the back of his head, pushing his mouth down onto your pussy as you sought more friction.

"that's my good girl," his praise filled you with an arousing warmth. it was like something snapped in you. whimpering softly, you knew in that moment, you would do anything to hear it again.

"say it again, please!" you cried out, tugging on his hair. the pleasure coiling was so strong it made your eyes water, your thighs trembling as he latched his lips onto your clit.

scaramouche chuckled softly into your messy pussy, keeping his eyes focused on you so he didn't miss one twitch or contortion of pleasure. "my good, sweet girl," louder moans tore from your throat, your walls clenching empty around nothing. "we can do better than they can," he released your clit with a wet pop, licking his lips before focusing his tongue on your hole.

"i'm in love with you!" you suddenly cried out. the words came tumbling out of your mouth, his tongue felt that good working your pussy over. groaning, he prodded his tongue inside of you. "i've always been in love with you!"

he swirled his tongue inside of you. pleasure burst white hot behind your eyes. your hips bucked shamelessly into his mouth, enjoying the comforting way his fingers dug into your thighs possessively. "fuck me with your tongue, please."

the way you were starting to babble made his cock pulse and strain in his pants. scaramouche was sure your parents could hear you. and he fucking loved it. "go ahead, kitten. let them hear what real pleasure sounds like."

his tongue worked over your pussy with extra vigor, snapping the knot of your orgasm to curl tighter in your core. his thumbs skimmed over the insides of your thighs in encouragement, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

you couldn't help it. scaramouche's tongue made you cunt sensitive, your release gushing onto his tongue suddenly. "so fucking sweet," he growled, eagerly lapping at your release like a starved dog.

he didn't take his mouth off of your pussy, tongue fucking you through your orgasm until you were breathless and shaking. when he kissed you, you didn't think it would be intimate tasting yourself on his tongue.

#genshin impact #genshin smut #fem!reader #genshin imagines #scaramouche #scaramouche smut #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you

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itsthatmff · 5 months ago

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helllooo, can you write boyfriends headcanons with other men like flashy flash and amai mask please? ~

IM FINALLY BACK WITH MORE HEADCANONS! writing for these was so hard- it was my first time doing amai mask too- I hope they turned out well 😩

Please keep the requests incoming I’ll try to work through them! I’m sorry for taking so long and Thank you so much for the patience.

Boyfriend Headcanons on OPM men Pt. 2

Fem!reader

Included: Flashy flash, Amai mask, Saitama, Zombie man

Flashy Flash

Having him as a boyfriend sure isn’t for the weak

He’s definetly the leader of the sassy man apocalypse

He takes his night routine SERIOUSLY like you will have a 20 step hair routine and a spa session

He gives great hair care tips though

Lets you braid his hair when you’re bored or does your hair when you’re tired

Gossiping with him is super fun

When he’s annoyed or jealous he scoffs a lot

Tiny bit reluctant over physical affection but his hugs and kisses feel so gentle, you could melt into them.

He goes all out when you’re on your period, like he knows exactly what you need and what to do.

Gifts you hairclips on random occasions !

Doesn’t like you touching his katana cuz he’s worried you’ll hurt yourself.

You get the best dates with him because he knows the best spots, prefers staying at home with you though in case one of his opps are after him.

He does bicker with you from time to time because he knows you too well and can’t be bothered to deal with your overdramatic ass

"Yeah fine we get it you’re just angry because you’re craving some desserts. Stop whining and lets go get it.“

Amai Mask

Might seem like a narcissistic and selfish bastard at first but he really just has issues

As a boyfriend he might not be able to spend much time with you since he is a hero AND a celebrity with a filled schedule

Makes sure to spoil you rotten tho

You get expensive gifts from him on a weekly basis and he takes you out to the best restaurants

He has to be very discreet with your relationship since it could cause him a bad reputation and backlash from the media

Whenever he’s overwhelmed or had a bad day he seeks comfort in your embraces

Feels like you’re the only one who understands him

Genuinely opens up to you and shows you his vulnerable side from time to time

He gets VERY jealous like he better not catch you admiring some other hero

At first he’d laugh it off not wanting to believe such a thing but slowly the jealousy would start creeping up

“You’re mine understood?”

Is just scared of u leaving him

He calls to tell you there’s a new magazine out that features him and wants you to buy it.

Thinks you’re his biggest supporter and likes to brag about you.

Saitama

Dates consist of gaming or getting deals at different supermarkets

I can totally imagine that he’s willing to try some new things at the convenience store with you and do taste tests.

Never rates the food a 10/10 cuz he thinks Genos could do it better.

YES sometimes Genos DOES make dinner dates for you two, he goes all out making a 5 star dinner for his sensei and his girlfriend.

Saitama secretly loves it when you come and sit on his lap as he watches tv.

He may not look like it but he really notices the small details, like he’ll ask if you put on different perfume or shampoo. Does it so sleek too.

He’d lean in to your neck and WHISPER INTO YOUR EAR

"Hm..you smell so good, got a new perfume?“

This guy just knows how to get you flustered

Is very nonchalant about most things, doesn’t really get jealous. (Unless you’re being overly nice to someone that has like really good hair)

“Yo genos. How much do you think a hair transplant costs?”

“Why are you asking sensei?”

“No reason really..” as he GLARES at the guy you’re talking to.

Doesn’t call you often, more like he randomly texts you what he’s doing and if your schedule matches his you both hangout.

Wants to climb up the ranks in order to impress you and loves to tell you about his day when he gets home.

Gets the most expressive around you.

He kicks out Genos when you two need your private time.

Gives the best piggy back rides.

Zombieman

Hands down the best boyfriend out there

He’s so chill about everything

Likes to take you everywhere with him, especially on shooting ranges, coffee shops or jazz bars

Respects your boundaries a lot, if you don’t like the smoke from his cigarettes he’ll try not to smoke around you, if you’re a smoker yourself he always looks forward to smoke some with you.

You both have a very casual relationship, there’s no awkwardness at all nor the cheesiness and pampering

That also includes physical affection. Cuddling on the couch or holding hands seems natural to you.

As nihilistic as he is, he can’t hide whenever he’s jealous.

“Was it fun chatting to that human?” He’d ask whilst pressing down the last remaining of his cigarette onto the whiskey glass. He wasn’t upset, more like curious of what you saw in another man.

Only calls you in the evenings after he walks you home. Likes to hear your voice before he goes to sleep.

He loves to get you roses

Asks childish emperor for advice on what to get you. Doesn’t even realise himself that he slips in your name in every conversation.

Is the kind of boyfriend that is happy enough to just watch you from afar.

Never ever gets aggressive with you. In fact you’ve never seen him angry.

Likes to polish his guns while you sit on his lap.

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candyje11yfish · 2 months ago

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ty! \(^_^)/ feelin good so ill try answer in detail for ya!!!!

most of the time i just do basic cell shading. here ill explain my rendering process after i choose my base colours, ill try keep it short & sweet!! nvm warning��buckle up its really super long.

flat colours -> fully shaded!!

⭐️Picking shading colours!

usually it's just the base colour with +saturation OR a hue shift! i dont really lower brightness.

This is what i mean by HSB, i never use the colour wheel i prefer the sliders!!!

i like my art to look super colourful so i do things like shading pink with blue instead of with a darker pink or red, as shown in the above callie piece.

examples ft lumity:

skin: i always keep it very simple & cartoony! over the nose, below the eyes, the neck & sometimes the tips of the ears is where i'll put shading

hair: as u can See, it's not darker than the base colour at all!! for dark hair like luz's, i brighten & saturate the colour, and for light hair like amity's i just shift the hue a little!

⭐️more kewl tips:

colourpick from yourself!!!! instead of making a new colour for everything, try using a colour u already have down!!!! like below: by limiting my colour palette, it looks more harmonious

really messy image but i hope u get what i mean. also the "off white / black" thing is a separate choosing base colours thing!! i can expand on that if anyone's interested 😙

shove halftones in wherever they fit. here are the 2 pngs i use!! there a rlly good alt to gradients, i used a LOT of them in that callie piece!!! clipping mask over where u want it & alpha lock to change colour.

⭐️here's a WHERE i put the shading:

look st the environment ur guy is in!! pick where your light source is coming from & look where that light will hit and where it is blocked by something.

bounce light: the sun's light is also shining on the grass! so powerful the green reflects right back!

this is kinda more realistic lighting now.

i kinda just put a circle wherever theres a corner!

and i put that Beautiful Shape a lot wherever. i change it a little depending on the character, sometimes its triangular or squarey but thats the base shape! i dont even know what its called but i love it.

look at this hello weird shape guy!!!

actually, my grandfest art are probably some of the most detailed art i have! u can see urself where i put shading & stuff - they do have more desaturated colour palettes though:

& here are some additional examples ^_^ flat colour -> shaded -> multiply layer -> lighting

in this one u can see the hand & leg at the back are completely in shadow too :)

anyway i think that's kinda it? i dont really know how to explain it, i just do what feels & looks right to me??? remember that im Not an expert & this is just how i do things :)

i will always repeat my no1 tips tho: keep drawing!!! and copy ur fave artists!!!!!! it really will hell u find what u like!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hope this post helps a little & answers ur question😇 never be shy to ask me anything cuz i love answering & chattin w u guys!!!!

EDIT: just saying these arent set rules or anything!!!! u can see just how many times i Dont follow my own advice LOL. my artstyle is super inconsistent, i rarely draw things the same every time

#ask mari #i put more effort into this than any of my english essays #long post #tutorial

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canon-in-too-deep · 2 months ago

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Free Grimms' Fairy Tales Typeset

I am so very excited to present free typeset #33: Grimms' Fairy Tales, by, of course, Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm. (Apologies for this being quite a long post, but I really wanted to show pictures of what's available in these typesets!) When I saw this in my ask box, I knew I had to do a typeset for it. But there were so many individual tales, and I wanted to do something a bit unique for each of them. But I also wanted to use a lot of color. And throw in some art. And that might make the typeset not so super printer friendly for some folks, so....

I made two versions of this typeset! Two different designs and color options. Both pdfs are available for FREE here and are sized for half letter (letter folio).

Grimms' Fairy Tales typeset version one is the full color version with a lot of little details and different art/motifs for each story (most of the art I used was by Maurice Pillard Verneuil; his stuff is so pretty).

And for the second version of the typeset (which I dubbed the Black and White, Hold the Art Alt in my google drive archive--I need a shorter name for that. The Deep Drive? Drivechive? Googachive?--I went black and white printer friendly, with prominent featuring ornaments and a more simple design.

You can see the differences clearly above. Both these typesets were a lot of fun to make, and I hope they print out well for people wanting to use them. It's one I hope to be able to print out soon for myself, to have as a personal physical copy. I kept stopping in the middle of typesetting just to read a few tales. (Cat-Skin and Snow White and Rose-Red are my two favorite tales (I just love the changed appearance lover trope), though The Juniper-Tree has a a solid standing with best revenge death.) Anyway, use these typesets as you wish! If there's any issues with the files, feel free to let me know! Just please leave credit and consider tagging me if you use them, or reblog if you can! More details and interior shots of the first version are below the break!

So the black and white version has pretty much the same design across all the different chapters, while the color version has a different swatch of art featured next to each title, to give some flair to each individual story. The whole double border around the drop caps was inspired by another (much more talented than I) member on Renegade Bindery, but I added in the extra picture frame for the motifs and changed some things around to get the sort of clean, classic, elegant vibe I was hoping for (originally, I was going to use good ol' IM FELL English and go with a much more gritty, vintage-y design, but changed it after seeing how well Crimson Text worked for the fairy tales (like I've said before, Crimson Text is a special occasion sort of font). Here's some more screenshots of the chapter beginnings (albeit a bit pixelated. Dang screenshots and their low quality):

The table of contents is pretty fun as well, extending the same borders and motifs design to full three pages:

And the fun also extended to the last page with info on the Brothers Grimm:

All in all, this was one of my favorite books to work on. If you have any suggestions for future typesets, my ask box is always open! Edit: also, the borders/frames going around the dropcaps were inspired by a design I saw done by the talented @teleportbooks!

#Grimms' Fairy Tales by Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm #grimms' fairy tales #fairy tales #typesets #typesetting #book design #bookbinding #book #free to use

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christhopersturniolo · 10 months ago

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୨ MY LITTLE SISTER ୧ matt

summary: you had some plans with your boyfriend matt for the weekend, but something unexpected happens, and you have to babysit your little sister.

notes: this is my second time ever writing a fanfic (go read my first one) and english isn't my first language, it's probably not very detailed and there might be some mistakes, but I hope you enjoy it! all ears to feedbacks, l'd love to know what you think!

warnings: cussing, fluff

୨୧

I sigh “And why can’t you take her with you?” I say taking my eyes out of the screen and looking at my mom.

“How long will it take for you to understand that your dad is on a business trip and i’m going on one as well?” She answers walking from a side to another, packing some of her things. “I can’t take her with me, even if I wanted to.”

"But mom-" I start, only to be cut off.

"No buts, Y/n.” She interrupts, her tone firm. “I’m being serious." She looks straight into my eyes "It's what I'm telling you, you'll have to stay with your sister. I won't be paying for a babysitter while you're here with your ass in the couch. You are almost 18, you can very well take care of her, it’s only for the weekend.”

“But I told you I have plans with Matt!” I exclaim, leaning my head back on the headrest of the couch in annoyance.

My mom is about to reply when we hear the sound of my 3 year old little sister's footsteps coming from her room, followed by her little giggles.

We automatically get silent about this topic. I take a deep breath, reminding myself she's not the problem, she's just a child caught up in our adult issues. Bella is not the problem.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my sister, but it's a bit overwhelming to adjust having a sibling after being the only child for years. And with my mom's age, it's unexpected, to say the least.

SKIP TIME

Today is the day that my mom is going to her ‘super important business trip’, and also the day Im supposed to have a date with Matt.

After my mother left at 7am, Bella and I found ourselves up earlier than usual. We already had breakfast, so now, we don’t really have anything to do. We go to the living room, watch some TV.

Bella sits on the couch next to me and chooses the channel. After some good ten minutes, I look at my right to check on her, and she’s completely asleep, what makes me smile.

Until I realize that I didn’t canceled my dinner with Matt.

Shit, I completely forgot to talk with Matt! Fuck!

I get up and I go over to my bedroom, getting my phone and calling him. He takes some seconds to answer the call.

“Babe? Sorry, did I wake you up?” I ask, hoping the answer would be ‘no’.

“No, No, No..” He says with his husky morning voice, he definitely just woke up. “But why are you calling this early? Is something wrong?” I could feel myself getting fucking soaked as he talks, sorry, but his voice in the morning? I can’t take it.

I take a deep breath, trying to think straight. "Um, yeah.. Actually, my mom went out for the weekend, and I have to babysit my sister.. I don't know if I'll be able to make it to the dinner we had planned tonight”

“Oh” A simple response, What does that even mean? He probably hates me now.

"I know you already made the reservation, and I was super excited, I swear," I start saying nothing with nothing, feeling guilty for ruining our plans. "But then my mom told me she had this thing and..."

Before I could finish apologizing, Matt cuts me, understanding. "No babe, that's fine. Don't worry. Maybe we can do something else? With your sister? I have stuff to do all day, but I’m free at night, maybe we can have a sleepover or something?”

I sigh in relief “Yeah sure, that sounds great, I will talk about It with Bella”

“Alright call me later sweetheart, love you, bye” He ends the call and I go back to the living room, getting back on my place.

Bella is still peaceful sleeping on the couch. Not wanting to disturb her, I cover her with a blanket, but my actions unfortunately wake her up, blinking her sleepy eyes open. A small yawn escapes her lips, and she looks at me with a drowsy smile.

"Hey, sleepyhead" I whisper, gently brushing a piece of hair from her face. "Did you have a nice nap?" Bella nods, rubbing her eyes with tiny hands. "Mhm" she murmurs, snuggling deeper into the blanket.

I think about a way to tell her that Matt is coming over before she could fall back asleep “So.. do you remember my boyfriend, Matt?" Bella blinks, her sleepy expression turning curious. "Mm-hmm" she mumbles again, nodding slowly.

“What if.. He came over to a super fun sleepover with us today?” I say trying to sound extra excited to convince her.

Bella's eyes light up with excitement at the mention of a sleepover. "Yeah!" She exclaims, her drowsiness quickly dissipating. "Matt is funny!" Her sentence makes me chuckle “Oh he is?” She nods giggling, It doesn't even look like she just woke up.

The rest of the day, she doesn’t stop talking about Matt.

“Then- Then will Matt play games with me?”

“And can we watch frozen? I think Matt will like it”

Over and over, she’s more excited than me. But I mean, I can’t blame her, It’s Matt over all.

Around 8pm, Matt rings on the doorbell. I go over to the front door, Bella follows me, getting behind my left leg. I open the door and I see my boyfriend with two bouquets of flowers, a big one, and a small one.

“Hey love” He leans for a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, then he hands me the bouquet “This is for you”

A smile appears across my face, I chuckle “Thank you so much.. You really didn’t had to” I say looking at my favorite flowers.

“No that’s fine, don’t worry” Matt returns the smile, his eyes lighting up as he sees Bella peeking out shyly from behind me. "Hey, Bella" he says warmly, crouching down to her level. "I also brought these for you, little princess" he says, offering her the smaller bouquet with a gentle smile.

Bella looks at me, seeing Bella's hesitation, I give her a soft nod, silently urging her to accept the flowers from Matt. With a shy smile, Bella reaches out and takes the bouquet from him, still with one hand around my leg.

“What do we say Bella?” I place my hand on the top of her head, caressing her hair.

“Thank you Matt” She says still shy.

"You're welcome, Belly" He responds getting up, his voice gentle and kind.

Some hours after playing some board games and talking, Bella decided to go get her toys.

She returns carrying a bunch of dolls and stuffed animals, then she settles onto the carpet in front of us and places everything there. “Matt come play with me!” She says excited with some barbie’s in her small hands.

He gets up from the couch, and sits down next to Bella on the floor “Alright so what doll am I?” Bella looks around “Hmmm..” She grabs a really bad looking doll, marker-covered, and hands it to Matt. I automatically start laughing uncontrollably, Matt matches the energy.

I am just watching as they play, Bella makes Matt use a girly voice, what just makes everything ten times better for my entertainment.

After Bella got tired of playing with her toys, she made us watch frozen, it’s her favorite movie, this is probably her fifth time watching it. I sit on the left side of the couch, Matt on the middle and my sister next to him. Some 30 minutes after the movie started, Bella is already with her head on Matt’s lap, sleeping like a little angel, as Matt gently strokes her hair and she snuggles closer to him.

His eyes meet mine, seeing me watching him, he smiles “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” With a soft smile, I rest my head on Matt's shoulder “You just look so cute taking care of kids” He chuckles and leaves a kiss on the top of my head.

୨୧

this actually sucked, i’m so bad at doing cute scenes, this def wasn’t what I had in mind lol, maybe i will delete it later.

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #fanfic #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader

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sanspuppet · 1 year ago

Note

Hi!! What do you think of NOT SHY hard dom Yeosang, like one night he just flips a switch and shows you who he truly is behind closed doors, and is SUPER confident and commanding w the deep voice of his..

I mean most of the time ppl make him out as kind of shy-ish or brief during sex but what if he's really not like that.. and he's fed up w the sweet boy image, bc even mythical angel men crack at some point..

I LOVE UR WRITING AND YOU SO SO MUCH 💜💜💜💜💜💜

W/T: smut, unprotected sex (don’t), fingering, established relationship, pet names (baby)

omg i highly agree with you T-T, also thanks for the sweet words, lov you too <33

duh okey so i just read your ask again and noticed a couple details… and now i fear it doesn’t perfectly suit to your thought… im soso sorry if it doesn’t but i still tried my best “-“

𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺𐬺

“Yeosang has been a teasing all day”, you think to yourself while showering. The way he touched you… the way he spoke to you with that fucking tone he knew would drive you crazy… the way his tight undershirt exposed his toned biceps… but it was unintentional, right? You can feel your core soaking wet, and it surely isn’t because of the water drops falling over your body.

You internally yelp, hearing someone knocking on the door, the deep voice of Yeosang coming from the other side:

“Babe, how long it’ll take?”

Your mind is taken away from your thoughts, bringing you back to reality as you stutter to reply him. You turn off the showerhead, letting him to hear you better: “n-not much, almost done.” you reassure him, leaving hesitantly the shower to dry yourself.

“Okey, please come to our bedroom right after you finish.” You nod, putting on slowly your underwear.

Minutes after, you exit the bathroom, still nervous about the effect he had on you the entire day. Laying next to him this night, will be a fucking torture, seeing his gorgeous face while sleeping like a baby, but the intentions you’d have for him not as innocent.

And now, you see Yeosang’s bare back as you enter the bedroom. He throws his undershirt on the chair next to the nightstand, turning around to look at you, his stare diving into yours. Your breath gets heavy when he tilts his head, wanting you to come closer.

“Lay down, baby” Yeosang indicates the bed, his confident voice making you genuinely obey him, bouncing on the mattress as you throw yourself on it. You gulp, when your eyes catch the figure of his body stripping. His clothes falling quickly on the floor, as he positions himself in front of you. Your mouth hangs open when you get to see his boner standing between your legs, asking to yourself if you could ever take it all the way in.

“You okay with this, darling? Want you so bad right now.” he questions. You don’t think twice before nodding, though this situation got you off guard, you’re surely not going to complain.

Yeosang smirks, his hands grip the sides of your panties, dragging them down your legs. He moves then apart your knees, so he could get a better view of your already dripping cunt. “Fuck, so pretty for me.”

You can’t even pay attention to what he’s saying, your mind’s already full with the sight of his hard dick, ready to dive into you. You feel Yeosang’s hand raising your chin, forcing you to make eye contact with him. He presses his lips on yours, bringing you back to his face. “Eyes here baby, want you to look at me when i’ll fuck you, got it?” You blink a couple times, your heartbeat accelerates as you feel his other hand sliding beneath your nightgown, your breaths getting sharper when he brings it slowly up your chest, reaching your breast. Yeosang reveals a satisfied groan, feeling your softness under his touch. Either way, you’re kinda surprised finding out that new side of him, that side that you drooled for the past two years of engagement, still you’re in disbelief about how you could have resisted all this time. As if he could read your mind, he searches for your lips again, sucking and biting on them to get a better taste of your sweet yet addicting arousal.

“God, i’ve waited so much for doing this”

The temptation between you two grows stronger than ever, his hand lands on every inch of your body, trying to catch your softness under his grip. Suddenly you feel two fingers stimulating your sensitive corner, the unexpected friction causes your muscles to tense under the weight of Yeosang’s body. You roll your eyes back, biting your lower lip to hold back any reaction. He’s looking at you with disapproval in his eyes, attacking your consumed lips another time, getting you to let out whimpers between your devouring kisses.

“gotta prepare your tight cunt for later, don’t you think?”

Yeosang inserts two finger inside your sobbing entrance without any hesitation, making sure to hit every sweet spot, rubbing his fingertips against your aroused corners. You can feel his warm breath against your neck, your hands are caressing his naked back, trailing down his spine, your soft touch out of tune with his decisive way to pump your pussy with his slender fingers, sends him goosebumps, wanting you to loose yourself on him.

“Fuck… I’m going to add another one”

Without even waiting for you to articulate any word, he slides into you his ring finger, a low pitched groan escaping his mouth, loving the feeling of your hot, creamy walls sucking his fingers, wet ropes already dripping out of your pussy, with him stimulating your sweet spot simultaneously. You can’t help but keep whining his name into his ear, holding yourself on his shoulder, your nails leaving scratches over his light skin. You feel the heat in your stomach growing, your body more sensitive than ever before, trembling and spasming as he pushed his fingers deeply into your cunt.

“Fuck fuck fuck, Yeo- c-close, don’t stop-“

you keep babbling, feeling your mind getting quickly foggy, focusing on nothing but the immense pleasure his touch is giving you.

“Yeah baby, cum on my fingers.” he chuckles at your desperate state, speeding his pace as you start moaning louder. “All wet and ready to be fucked” he leans over you ear, whispering: “You’ll clench like this over my cock too, won’t you?” his words booming inside your head make you instinctively tensing your lower muscles, squeezing his fingers buried into your pussy. “Yeah just like that”

You can feel it, the pleasure turning into pure arousal, your legs are shaking uncontrollably, to your amazement, the orgasm reached you faster than it has ever did, your juices spreading all around his wrinkling fingers, dripping out of your overstimulated sex.

“Mmmh fuck! it feels so good… Yeo…” you whimper finally, breathing in deeply trying to regain yourself, and get off of your high. Yeosang sits with a proud smirk between your legs, caressing your inner thighs, fighting not to concentrate too much on how hard, almost hurting, his cock is, needy to dive into your heavenly pussy as soon as it could.

“Just imagine how good you’ll be all filled with my cum.”

You nod mindlessly, in fact, despite you’re still not over your previous orgasm and too sensitive to be fucked again already, you want more, you need more from him.

“Yes, please… want you inside-“ you fight to articulate such a simple phrase, yet you feel distraught by how his suave fingers dived into you.

Yeosang doesn’t respond, he slightly smirk, chuckling joyfully, surprised by your slutty side he has never found out till tonight. He grabs forcefully your ass, lifting it up at the angle where he could fuck you better, kneeling in front of your soaking cunt, his cockhead slams against your clit, having you letting out another frustrated moan, impatient to feel his warm member worshiping you to its limit. Lewd, squelching sounds fill the air inside your bedroom, as he starts pounding you, the sound of his pelvis slamming against your thigh gap give him the ecstasy to act rougher, to slide into you faster. Not that it would be hard, feeling your wet folds embracing his length so fucking well, even you are amazed by the flow between you two. Yeosang’s mind go numb as he feels for the first time the closest possible to you, he fucking loves it, he doesn’t want to stop. the opportunity to finally mark you as his, lets his possessive self getting frisky, pumping you like a man who had fucked hundreds of time would do. Groaning, exasperating, hissing the shit out of his lungs, he feels amazing and he wants to demonstrate it.

“Fuuck- my balls prepared a big load for you, my cum will leak out of your pussy for days until i’ll breed you fully again.” his previous sharp thrusts are getting now sloppy, his precum keeps releasing, your mind had lost any coherent thoughts from minutes ago. Yeosang stares at the way your tits bounce every time his cockhead kisses harshly your deepest spot, the view drives unconsciously his body towards his orgasm.

“Mmm yeah so tight and warm, fuck i love it”

he trows his head back, loosing his pace as he feels overwhelmed by the pleasure, all he can do is rolling his hips back and forth, accompanying the both of you over the edge. You don’t even realize that you’re jabbering quietly, your mind feels dizzy and only what you can think about is how good it feels to be full with your boyfriend’s cock:

“p-please… inside… cum- fuck…”

Yeosang surely loves to see you like this, he promises to himself that he’ll fuck you dumb at least every three days. He keeps to bury his dick inside your cunt, till you feel ropes of hot cum shooting into you, and it doesn’t stop, his cock releases his seeds until Yeosang could see it trying to leak out of the small gap between your inner walls and his cock still buried in them. You finally let out your last moan before the second chanting orgasm hits your lower abdomen, you arch your back by the irresistible stimulation, feeling how Yeosang’s length twitched inside with you.

“How do you feel, baby?”

“Sticky”

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python333 · 1 year ago

Note

I love your writings sm. And I love the way you write platonic stuff with task force 141 😋

You can ignore this if ya want but I just can't get over reader angst. Honestly atp I starve for angst. Could you feed us another angst fic? Like platonic 141 with a reader where she maybe got pretty badly injured while being on a mission? :3

AND. don't forget to stay hydrated and eat well!! Take any breaks you need 😌.

(sorry if this doesn't make sense English is not my native language 🥲)

below zero — python333

— — — —

synopsis u get thrown into a freezer after refusing to give up intel to enemy soldiers, and u get thrown into a freezer, and ghost comes and saves u :3

relationships platonic!ghost & gn!reader.

characters ghost.

word count 5.2k

warnings hypothermia, disorientation, 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].

note hi anon thank u so much for all the compliments!!! before i say anything else, i wanna point out that i 1) only really wrote ghost into this and 2) literally read the request completely wrong and i think im actually just illiterate because how did i mess up this bad. ALSO hi its been a month since i posted on here i swear i'm still alive i'm just super busy with school!! updates are going to be extremely slow, so i apologize in advance. still, i hope u enjoy it anyways tho!! its all hurt/comfort + angst/fluff + protective/soft ghost :3

When you were thrown into the freezer, the first thing you noticed were the bodies.

There’s ten that you can immediately see, and twelve once you look a little bit closer. All of them are suspended from the ceiling, each hanging from their ankle—with said ankle being held up by a meat hook.

When the door had been closed shut with a loud, booming thump you hadn’t felt any immediate fear. But now, as you’re sitting in the corner of the freezer you’d been trapped in—the corner farthest away from any bodies—that fear is starting to set in.

Before this, only a few minutes ago, you were being interrogated. Your captors were asking for information on the details of any upcoming missions, objectives, target locations, anything that you had about the 141 that you could share with them, they wanted.

Of course, you didn’t say anything. You remained silent throughout the entire thing, not talking once, even when at the end of the whole thing your interrogator slammed his hand down onto the table you were sat down in front of and yelled at you to say anything.

When he and his team figured out that you wouldn’t give them any information, you remember he muttered something unintelligible under his breath and swiftly walked over to your end of the table. He had uncuffed your ankles from the legs of the chair you were sitting down on and uncuffed your wrists from the table, and before you could fight back, he grabbed both of your wrists with one hand and dragged you behind him.

Then, he led you to the freezer you were trapped in now, and threw you in roughly before shutting the door behind you. You had hit and scratched at the door for a good minute after being thrown in, and after you figured that it was a waste of time trying to do so, you sighed and retired to the corner.

Now, as you’re huddled in the corner, you kind of regret not giving them the intel they needed.

The freezer wasn’t too bad at first—you thought you’d last pretty long in there, and mentally called all the dead bodies hung from meat hooks in there pussies and simply walked around for a bit. The walking helped warm you up a bit, but soon it got tiring, and you retired to the corner farthest away from any dead bodies.

You think the freezer is below zero degrees—no, has to be below zero, because now, just about five minutes after being thrown in, violent shivers have started to wrack your body and you swear you can’t feel your lips anymore. You haven’t been able to feel any sort of warmth in the past four minutes, all of it disappearing within the first.

And God, the smell. The smell of frozen, rotting flesh really isn’t something you ever want to smell again. Thankfully, there’s no live flies in the freezer—all of them had died of the severe cold, creating small black circles under each hanging body where they died.

You currently have your knees up to your chest with your hands trapped in between your thighs to try and keep them warm at least, with your forehead resting on the top of one of your knees. It’s working, kind of. The palms and backs of your hands feel just warm enough to not be considered cold, but the tips of your fingers are so cold they’re beginning to burn.

You pull them back a bit to trap your fingertips in between your thighs, exposing the area where your wrist and hand meet to the cold, sighing as your fingertips warm up just a bit. Your thighs, thankfully, still have some heat trapped in between them, and you think your stomach is still somewhat warm.

Around ten minutes later, you feel the heat trapped in your thighs start to dissipate. Fucking fantastic. You sigh and let your head tilt back, the back of it hitting the wall behind you, making you wince at the cold metal directly on your head. The cold seems to crawl through your hair and make it to your scalp, small pinpricks of the cold spreading throughout your scalp and the back of your neck.

You’re reminded of just how cold it is then, of how this is quite literally a freezer, and of how said freezer has already claimed twelve lives. Or, at least, has housed twelve dead bodies and several unfortunate flies.

Just then, the fear finally starts to set in.

At first, you weren’t all too worried about being saved—you figured you’d be found soon enough, since your team has a general idea of where you are. But the more you think about it, the more your brain emphasizes the general part of general idea. You start to think about how they don’t know any specifics.

Sure, they know that you were captured, and that you were being held in some small part of Italy, and the people who captured you—but what did they know beyond that? Did they know your exact location? How long would it take them to figure it out? And how long would it take them to get here?

Would you even be alive by the time they got here, if they ever did?

You notice your teeth starting to make an annoying chattering noise and you bite down to stop them. The violent shivers that wrack your body don’t help, the intense trembling only succeeding in making you more anxious. You start to become hyper aware of the cold that crawls onto your back from the freezing metal you’re leaning back on, and you quickly push yourself just a foot away from it so that it no longer bothers you.

Your feet are starting to feel numb, you don’t think you’d be able to stand on them anymore if you tried, for you fear you’d just stumble and fall down. You look around the small freezer. There’s nothing that could help you get out—there’s only the bodies suspended from the ceiling and the dead flies that surround them.

You’re glad none of the bodies are facing you—you don’t know what you would do if you had to sit in the corner with a bunch of dead bodies staring at you with their vacant, frozen-over eyes. Thinking about the eyes makes your own water, and you blink away the small tears that’ve gathered on your waterline.

You can’t feel them, but you see the tears that were once in your eyes now clumping together on your eyelashes, making your brows furrow. With them starting to cling to your eyelashes comes blurriness for the top half of whatever you can see. You sigh, a white puff of condensation hanging in the air as evidence of your exhale, and move your hand out from in between your thighs to wipe away the tears from your lashes haphazardly.

You don’t bother to put your hand back in between your thighs, instead just resting it on top of your knee. Despite it only having been around fifteen minutes since you were thrown into the freezer, you’re starting to feel more fatigued and your breath slows down significantly, as does your heartbeat.

Another ten minutes of doing nothing but staring at the wall opposite of your own pass by, and disorientation is starting to set in. You feel oddly forgetful—like at times, you forget how you even got into the freezer, and have to wrack your brain to remember that you literally got thrown into it and are now trapped in here until someone rescues you. Assuming they do. Who was it that would even rescue you?

You think long and hard for a few seconds, and can scrounge up nothing from your confused mind. You let out a frustrated huff and let your head tilt and fall forward so that your forehead is resting atop your knee, another shiver ripping through your frame. It almost feels like it’s getting colder in the fridge.

Suddenly, you hear a loud banging noise—albeit, it sounded more muffled to your ears, but you could tell it was loud—and guns being fired.

You can’t really tell when the gunfire dies down, but you can tell when the thumping of someone’s boots grows louder and closer to the door of the freezer. You try to stand up, not really knowing why since you’re in no condition to fight, having been in a freezer for about forty minutes, but you still attempt to.

You find that standing is extremely difficult after practically being frozen alive for the past forty minutes, because as soon as you try to even push yourself off of the ground with your shaky hands, you discover that you aren’t even strong enough to push yourself up a single inch before having to stop. As well as that, you find that the ground is just as freezing as the walls and air of the freezer, because your hands now ached with frostbite.

The action causes an unexpected wave of exhaustion to roll over you, and you pant to try and catch your breath, breathing white puffs of condensation out into the air.

You hear a loud bang against the door, and jump at the sound, your head whipping towards the door. You hear another loud noise, and the confused fog that’s taken over your mind only grows thicker, your disorientation only growing stronger with it. The room feels like it’s spinning, and the feeling reminds you of a word, and you know what the word is, but fuck, why don’t you know it at the same time? Why can’t I remember anything?

There’s another bang, and you hear muffled cursing before suddenly the door bursts open, a man wearing a skull mask stumbling in after it does so—he probably ran into it to open it, you think, watching the man get his balance back. He looks around for a moment before his eyes land on you, and the moment they do, you finally remember something.

That’s Ghost.

Somewhere in your confusion-clouded mind, you’re happy that you’ve finally remembered something. But right now, you can’t really think about anything—your mind is blank, and you can barely even process what you’re seeing.

You’re so caught up in thinking about the fact that you aren’t really thinking, you’re just focusing a little more on whatever’s going on in your mind and not actually retaining any of it, that you don’t even notice Ghost rushing towards you and kneeling down right next to you.

He pauses for a moment, but after a second he makes the decision to put one hand behind your back and snake one under your legs, the warm physical touch making you wince. Not that you didn’t like the warmth—you just didn’t like the sudden temperature change beneath your knees and across your back.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Ghost grunts as he picks you up, one arm under your knees and the other behind your back, lifting you up into a sort of bridal carry. He nearly drops you because of how cold your skin is—for a moment he thinks your back and legs are wet, then he realizes that no, they aren’t wet, you’re just really fucking cold.

He takes a moment to make sure you’re secure in his arms before tilting his head to the side, all the way down to his shoulder, and muttering something into his earpiece. Despite being so close to him, his voice only sounds muffled to you—in all honesty, just about everything is starting to sound more muffled to you. You can only tell he’s done talking because he lifts his head back up and readjusts his arms around you, before walking out the busted-open door.

The walking quickly turns into running, which then turns into sprinting, making your surroundings go blurry and makes your vertigo worse—it almost feels like you’re falling. You’re grateful you haven’t eaten anything in the past few hours, because you fear that if you had, you would’ve thrown it all up by now. All you can see are blurred colors—the hallways, you vaguely remember, because I’m in a building. How’d I even get here? Why am I here? You’re pulled out of your confused thoughts when you’re set down on the ground somewhere, and forced into a lying position with your limbs all outstretched. When you slowly blink up at what you thought was the ceiling, you’re both surprised and not surprised when you see the blue-black night sky.

Not sure of what’s going on, you try to get up, but Ghost quickly pushes you back down, muttering something under his breath. He pauses for a moment, his blurred figure stopping any and all movements, before he suddenly picks you back up, making you wince at the way your head spins at the sudden movement. You hear a quiet, muffled—but clearer than before—’sorry’ from Ghost before he’s running again.

It’s a much shorter distance this time, and instead of immediately setting you down, you hear something click and suddenly you hear another muffled voice. They sound concerned, you mentally note, Or maybe confused. Maybe both, actually. No yeah, definitely both. Well, now just concerned. Or maybe that’s confused.

Caught up in your confused thoughts, you don’t realize that you’re being set down on a few comfy seats. You aren’t pulled away from your own thoughts until you feel two warm hands cupping either side of your jaw, and hear Ghost’s oddly distressed voice becoming more clear by the second. You now acknowledge the weird ringing in your ears that almost drown out the sound of Ghost, and struggle to figure out what he’s saying through the annoying noise.

“—something,” You catch the end of Ghost’s sentence, and blink up at him slowly.

“Huh?” You elegantly ask, coughing and wincing at your hoarse voice, not knowing how it got so hoarse—or why it hurt so much to talk. Your throat almost felt like it was burning, but it also felt oddly numb, a sensation you couldn’t quite put a name on.

“Oh my god,” Ghost sighs, his forehead falling onto your chest momentarily as he takes a few deep breaths. He brings his head back up from your chest and says, “I almost thought you were dead when I got in there. Jesus, you look dead. I need to— I need to get something, a blanket or— why the fuck don’t we carry any heat packs or anything in here? Swear to God, I’m gonna—” You don’t pay too much attention to Ghost’s panicked ranting and shift your head to the side to try and look at where you are, and you discover that you’re in a car. Oh. Cool. You spot the door on the passenger seat’s side still open and swinging a bit, as if it’d been opened quickly just a few moments earlier for someone to quickly get out.

Ghost suddenly backs up and gets out of the car, though staying within a foot of it, looking around for a moment before heading to the back of the car. Your head clears up the tiniest bit, just enough for you to be able to assume that he’s heading to the back of the car to get to the trunk for whatever reason, and you simply lie there on the seat cushions.

A few seconds later, Ghost comes back with a somewhat-fluffy jacket, and carefully gets into the car—half kneeling down so that he doesn’t need to lean on the seats to get to you. He tosses the coat over your chest, and it does absolutely nothing at first, at least not until Ghost gets a bit closer and tucks the coat tighter around you, treating it like a blanket. Then, it starts to warm you up just the tiniest bit. Beyond that, it does absolutely nothing. But props to Ghost for at least trying.

He quickly backs out of the car and once he’s out he closes the door behind him, and you want to get up for a moment, just to go see what he’s doing, but you don’t have to. He gets into the car again, this time in the driver’s seat, and he turns on the ignition. Once the car rumbles to life, he immediately turns up the heat and leans over to the passenger seat’s side in order to close the door, and with a grunt he manages to do so.

The newfound heat makes you shiver, and it almost feels like you’re in a microwave defrosting. Distracted by the sudden temperature change, you don’t pay attention to what Ghost is saying into his earpiece as he glances out the front window of the car and back at you. You simply tug the jacket tighter around your torso and relish in the warmth.

“—ay. So we’ll just leave then, and you’ll be fine?” You pick up from Ghost’s conversation, perking up at the mention of leaving, “Copy that, Captain. I’ll get them back to base.”

‘Captain’—Oh, he’s talking to Price—says something that makes Ghost sigh exasperatedly and take his index finger off of his earpiece, instead settling both of his hands on the steering wheel of the car and stealing one last glance at you before setting his eyes on the gravel ahead of him and pushing down on the gas pedal.

—

When you wake up, you’re significantly warmer than you were… however-long-it’s-been-ago.

You look to your left and see nothing but a white wall and a heart rate monitor—which displays that your heart rate is 115—then to your right, where you see Ghost sitting in a plastic chair close to the bed you’re laying in, eyes closed with his head tilted to the side and resting on his own shoulder.

You don’t bother trying to wake him up, not knowing how long he’s been asleep or how much sleep he’s gotten, and instead simply turn your head back to stare up at the ceiling.

After maybe five minutes of zoning out and staring up at the ceiling, you hear clothes rustling and look back over to your right, seeing Ghost start to stir in his sleep. Just a few seconds later, he stirs awake, slowly blinking his eyes open.

You watch silently as he blinks the sleep out of his eyes, and he breathes in sharply through his nose before looking over at you and seeing you staring at him wordlessly. You both blink at each other for a long, awkward moment before he speaks.

“… Did you, uh… how was your… rest?” Ghost asks, not sure what to say. What exactly do you say, after saving one of your teammates from potential death?

“Good,” You respond, your throat having an odd, small burning sensation when you talk.

Ghost looks like he’s holding back a few words for a moment after you speak, and after one expectant look from you, he mumbles, “You should really say ‘well’ or ‘fine’ instead. It’d be more grammatically accurate and is more grammatically aligned with the verb ‘rest’.”

“… Okay?” You blink, thrown off by the unexpected information, “I’ll, uh… keep that in mind, next time someone asks me how my rest was.”

“You get asked that often?”

“I only get asked that by you.”

“Ah.” Ghost nods, looking off to the side for a moment. You’d think he was your dad and you’d just asked him how babies were made with how awkward he was, and you honestly expected the next words out of his mouth to be ‘when a man and a woman love each other very much’ before he hesitantly asks, “D’you feel better? After the whole being-trapped-in-a-freezer… experience?”

“Experience?” You question, a light laugh evident in your voice, “Yeah, I feel better. I like being warm more than, y’know, being frozen alive. Laying down in a warm bed is nice.”

“I didn’t know how else to phrase it,” Ghost huffs out, leaning back in his seat.

“So you’re gonna correct me on my grammar but you can’t think of a better word than ‘experience’?”

“Don’t get smart with me, [c/n].”

“I’m just saying,” You shrug lightly, wincing a little when your shoulders ache as you do. Ghost notices this and his eyes narrow, but he doesn’t mention it.

“Then stop trying to sass me.”

“Sass you? Jesus, fuck, don’t talk to me like I’m some preteen who just found out that they can talk back to their parents.”

“Isn’t that what you are, though?”

“No, I’m— you know what? Fuck you. Get out. I hate you. You suck.”

“That’s a colorful choice of words to say to the man who saved your life,” Ghost raises an eyebrow at you, “I’m still waiting for my ‘thank you’, by the way.”

“Don’t care, you’re never getting it,” You say stubbornly, making Ghost sigh and stand up. You look up at him as he stands up and try to sit up in your bed, but wince again when you try to move your arms. Still, you attempt to push yourself up, and only relax your weak joints and lay back down when Ghost presses a gentle hand to your shoulder to get you to stop trying to sit up.

“Don’t,” He warns softly—you didn’t know his voice could get that soft—as he pushes you back down, “Medics said you’re to keep laying down for a bit while you warm up. We’ve gotta wait until your BPM is below a hundred before letting you up.”

“That’s stupid,” You huff out, though not fighting Ghost pushing you back down.

“It’s not stupid,” Ghost lightly chastises you, “It’s doctor’s orders. Once your BPM is below a hundred, we’ll know you’re warmed up enough to start gettin’ up and walking around.”

“… Still stupid,” You grumble, not commenting on the way Ghost’s hand lingers on your shoulder even after you’ve already laid back down. Ghost sighs and kneels down so that his shoulders are level with the railing of your bed.

“You’re too stubborn.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not!” Your light arguing only proves Ghost’s point further, and he knows this, the knowledge of it making him snicker quietly.

“Uh huh. Sure, kid,” He begins to retract his hand from your shoulder, but upon seeing the disappointment that immediately seeps into your expression once he even barely begins to lift his hand from your shoulder, he immediately lets it rest right back onto your shoulder.

You both sit in silence for another few moments before Ghost speaks up again, this time a bit quieter and in that same soft tone he’d used earlier, “I tried to get to you quicker. But we needed some time to get your exact location, and when we found it we were a hundred and sixty klicks away, and it was just—it took us… some time to find you.”

“It’s fine. I understand,” You respond, about to shrug but stopping yourself, not wanting to feel that aching in your shoulders again, “I don’t even know how I let myself get captured, that— that’s probably on me.”

“You didn’t let yourself get captured, you just did.”

“Well…”

“Well, what?”

“I don’t know, I just—” You take a deep breath before continuing slowly, “I didn’t let myself get captured, but I also didn’t do enough to fight against it, so I feel like technically—”

“Fuck the technicalities about how you got captured, you got captured either way, and you got thrown into a freezer,” Ghost cuts you off, talking quickly, before sighing and continuing in a softer voice once again, “Please, just let me try to be somewhat comforting for once. You know I’m bad at this, and that I never do this. So just… don’t talk about what happened like that, if not for your own mental health’s sake, at least for my attempts at making you feel better.”

You open your mouth to say something else but ultimately close your mouth and let out a deep sigh through your nose, not saying anything, letting Ghost continue to talk.

“I, for whatever reason, feel… very oddly bad for you,” Ghost poorly explains, before pausing to think for a moment then rephrasing, “Not… not as in I pity you, but as in I feel bad for you in a way that I feel like I’m at fault for what you went through even though I know I’m not at fault. It’s like empathy but… worse. Not saying empathy is bad to begin with, but this is like if empathy was bad and it became worse and—”

Ghost cuts himself off with silence and lets out a frustrated huff at his inability to put his feelings into words, and tries again, “I feel bad for you in a way that I don’t know what exactly you felt or how you felt in the moment that you were in that freezer but just the idea of you being in there without me for… I’m assuming an entire hour, if not longer, makes me feel like I failed. I don’t know what I failed at—”

Ghost quickly pauses before sighing and continuing, “Actually, no, I do. I feel like I failed at protecting you. Which is strange, because that’s technically not my job, but I felt—and still feel—obligated to protect you especially and that bothers me. Not bothers me in a sense that I don’t like you or the thought of… protecting you, but bothers me in the sense that I’m not supposed to feel like that. No amount of teasing, or borderline bullying, or anything should’ve ever made me feel obligated to think of you like— like— like…” Ghost trails off, leaving you wondering what he meant to say. He stays silent for a few moments, before you try to fill in for him.

“Like… what, a kid?” You offer, watching him shake his head negatively. You think for another moment, before trying again, “… Like your kid?”

Ghost nods affirmatively, hesitantly, and you want to scoff at the hesitation.

“And what, that’s bad to you?” You ask, your words more venomous than you intended. Ghost sighs and nonverbally shakes his head negatively before responding to you.

“Not bad in the way you’re thinking,” He answers, before elaborating upon seeing your confused expression, “It’s bad not because you’re bad, it’s bad because I’m bad.”

“… No you’re not?”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re really not,” You insist stubbornly.

“Please don’t be stubborn with me on this,” His tone makes it sound like he’s almost begging you, which is… somehow beyond terrifying to think about.

“I’m not being stubborn, I’m being honest, you’re really not.”

“But I am,” He sounds like he’s trying to make his tone sound like there’s no room for any further arguments, but he fails, and you continue to argue with him.

“No you’re not!” The whole conversation feels like a parallel to the one you’d both been having just a few minutes earlier, except this time you’re not giving up as easily, “How are you bad?”

“I’m—” Ghost pauses for a moment, not having expected that argument, and he weakly argues, “I just am!”

“You’re not, and you fucking know it!”

“Okay, well—” Ghost sighs and looks away from you, “You might not think so. That’s fine. But I know I am. If not for anything else, for you. I’d be… terrible as any sort of… I don’t know, role model to you.”

“Jokes on you, you’re already a role model to me.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” You raise an eyebrow at him, “You aren’t a terrible role model. A little emo, sure, but not terrible.”

“I’m emotionally and mentally unstable, and am terrible with empathy. I’m blunt, abrasive more than half the time, and I tell the shittiest jokes known to man. I can’t— I don’t show my face to anyone. I expect everyone to act the way I want them to. I’m almost always busy.”

“At least you’re self-aware,” You brush off, “And, for the record, I don’t know what abrasive means and I can’t tell empathy from sympathy without using Google.”

Ghost looks back at you in disbelief and stares for a moment before saying quietly, “Abrasive means harsh. And empathy is showing understanding for others while sympathy is pity.”

“I also like your shitty jokes,” You add on, “I think they’re great. They make everyone else mad so I like them. And some of them are funny.”

“You find them funny?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s…” Ghost blinks at you, eyes a little watery, before huffing out a small laugh, “That’s ridiculous, none of them are funny. I call them shitty for a reason.”

“Some of them are pretty funny.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“The Mayflower one.”

“… That one?” Ghost asks, tone humorous but still disbelieving, “Out of all the ones I’ve told, that one?”

“Yes, that one,” You insist, before pausing and holding back a smile while tacking on, “Unless you wanna tell it again to try and change my mind?”

Ghost thinks for a moment before telling the joke, “If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?”

You feign cluelessness for a moment, “What do they bring?”

“Pilgrims.” The bluntness of the delivery makes you quietly snicker, much to Ghost’s surprise, the laugh not forced or anything.

“It’s still good,” You sigh, small giggles still escaping your lips.

“It’s really not,” Ghost sighs, finally retracting his hand from your shoulder to settle it on the railing of your bed and use it to help himself stand up. Once he fully stands up, he looks down at you, and one look at your face makes him want to whisk you out of bed and at least hug you, but he knows he can’t with your sore muscles and still-somewhat frozen skin.

Instead, he opts for grabbing one of your hands gently and giving it a very emotionally charged squeeze, and holding it for another few moments before letting go.

“I’m not forgetting that, by the way,” At Ghost’s confused eyes, you tack on, “You confirming earlier that you think of me as your kid.”

“That—” Ghost stammers for a moment before saying, “That was barely a confirmation, that was just— that was nothing.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. Yeah. Yep.”

“So if I told you that you saying that that was nothing is making me a little bit upset…”

“… Then I would say, out of pity, that I did mean it and that it was a confirmation.”

“Good to know,” You nod.

“But that’s only a hypothetical.”

“Right, yeah, of course.”

You both stay silent for another moment, the silence now a little less awkward, before Ghost says, “I’m gonna, uh… head out, now.”

“Alright,” You hum simply, watching as Ghost nods to you as a sort of ‘bye’ before heading towards the curtains in front of your bed.

Before he can exit, you quickly and quietly say, “Thank you, for saving me.”

He pauses, a little confused on why you chose now to thank him—and why you thanked him at all—until he quickly recalls earlier in the conversation when he’d mentioned expecting some words of gratitude.

He smiles behind his mask, the smile evident in his voice as he replies to you, “No problem.”

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forecast0ctopus · 10 months ago

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Any advice on drawing McCoy? I’m not used to drawing ancient wrinkley bastards (affectionate) and it’s surprisingly tough v-v

FOR SURE lmao i made. a diagram. just a warning that i am going to be irritating and long winded because u just hit a topic i really like sorry lmao

so first off i did some traces just to show whats there vs redraws to show my interpretation

ive said this on other asks but again jsyk, tracing isnt bad!! its a tool. theres some stuff with intellectual property and whatnot but using tracing to study shapes and forms is a really valuable practice.

also just taking some time to learn facial structures and anatomy is super useful, reading what bones and muscles are where and how they interact with one another. taking this info and staring in the mirror and moving your face around and thinking about it. just really furthers understanding of how the face works. trying to sound normal about this but i love anatomy and motion and physics and whatever

anyways im going to go through all the numbered points so there's no confusion. 1. forehead lines - self explanatory. more prominent when brows are raised 2. crows feet - at the outer corners of the eyes, more prominent when smiling or squinting 3. nasolabial folds - the folds that go from the corners of the nose to the corners of the mouth. more prominent when the mouth is wide, like smiling 4. brow furrow - self explanatory, most prominent when brows are furrowed. mccoy tends to have two right next to his eyebrows, kirk has one in the middle. everyones face works different lmao 5. chin crease - caused by how the chin and lower lip interact. 6. nasojugal groove - start from the inner corners of the eye and can extent over the cheeks. everyone has these and idk why people dont like them i think theyre really cool!!!! but Society. i guess. :/ 7. eye bags - caused by the skin sagging beneath the eyes. mccoy isnt even that old in tos i think hes meant to be mid 40s by the end of the 5 year mission, hes just got really prominent eye bags lmao 8. idk what the name is for these, but when the mouth is wide and pushes the skin to the sides, these folds sometimes form outside of the nasolabial folds 9. philtrum - the groove above the upper lip. i dont usually draw this but mccoy's struck me as prominent enough that i usually draw it on him 10. masseter - the muscle that moves the jaw up and down. its a pretty rugged muscle and while i wouldnt say mccoy's is especially prominent, it kind of extends that nasojugal groove from certain angles/positions 11. orbicularis oris - mouth muscle, usually easier to see when lips are pursed or frowns are pulled. mccoy's is pretty prominent from 3/4ths or side, his mouth tends to protrude in profile 12. this isnt a muscle but more of a line defining the planes of the face, but since i drew it i felt i should explain lmao

a few points:

im an animator i tend to exaggerate and emphasize certain things so i usually make him more square.

i like to combine eyebags and crows feet for brevity/flow, same with nasojugal grooves, eyebags, and masseter lines. my approach is always subject to change based on pose, expression, reference image, etc.

i take out details that i deem redundant or cluttering and keep what details i need to make things feel Right

all this info is applicable to any character of any age, its just in how you apply it and facial proportions that willl change how old a character is perceived to be

there's a lot more with drawing a Character rather than an Actor, just because the features are there doesnt necessarily mean things will feel correct? its very much in the mannerisms and poses and expressions

i only went over my approach to his likeness but not really body type or posing or anything idk if u want that i could always try to answer that later haha

_______________

anyways all that info kind of exists nebulously in my brain while i draw its not like im sitting there thinking Must Draw. Nasolabial Fold...... i jsut do what feels right with the visual info i have. also i love specificity in faces.... i dont like to be a hater but when every character is drawn the same it pisses me off a little lmao. so

also dont take my word as The Only Way to do anything i just draw how i like to draw and no one should feel like these are things that Must be done to be a good artist or anything do whatever the hell u wanna do

#anyways my apologies that was. a lot #it will happen again if asked of me.#anon #ask #everyone has this stuff going on with their face and its really cool but capitalism and the beauty industry and whatnot #have been rotting peoples brains since the moment they came to be #the more u look at and appreciate how ur skin an muscles and bones interact with one another the more fine u are with your own face #trust me #because its really cool. like mechanically and stuff #idk if its like theraputic or something but maybe it is or maybe i think about it all way too much #how i draw #ive got some other similar things under that tag i think pertaining to merlin but still similar info

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where-does-the-heart-lie · 6 months ago

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GOD chapter 59 was SO GOOD n i have a lot to say so sending an ask instead of leaving it on the post.

i /love/ when you make things hyper detailed, because your shading techniques are so much fun to sit n stare at and soak in for a while. that being said, the coloring of the wine spilling is what does it for me this time. it still would have been really cool in bw, but not as cool as seeing all the shades of red over the dark blue bg. you did the glass really well too!! I don't think there's a noticeable difference between the wine color inside and outside the glass which is fine bc it's clear, so it RLY makes me appreciate the lighting you have around the glass rim to show the edge in contrast. that tiny little detail makes the image for me. stellar work. i love it

also i do wanna throw in appreciation for the handwritten serif. super well done at first glance it did look like you'd jus typed it out. idk what texture you have on the brush you use for words but it's rly nice to look at up close.

i think the color kinda tipped me off but i waffled bc i couldn't remember if either of his parents spoke in serif font and was a bit daunted to dig thru 50+ chapters to confirm who it was if it didn't turn out to be them. i'm glad i looked at your tags tho haha saved me the trouble. what a way to end the act too!! i read this one on my phone and was scrolling thru the images at full size and after four or so i kept expecting it to cut off. it was a very pleasant surprise to have it keep going, worth the wait to have a longer chapter :)

maybe it jus wasn't meant to be a la sabo getting the letter from sally. it might have to be stelly after all tho there are things that come before then. what a bad time to have one or both of his parents speak to him for the first time that night. oof can't wait for the next act lets goooo

Oh wowww what a beautifully long review!

Thanks so much im glad you like how it turned out, i’m really happy with it, too! Ive never drawn fluids like this before, but i really needed this page to have that extra kick because it was such a short one.

Because i couldnt figure out how to make this moment look slow mo with multiple different panels on one page, I really wanted to make a piece that is like,, frozen in time instead.

A page like this, you can keep on it as long as you’d like. You can make it as slow mo as you want it to be.

The serif lettering is that of outlook’s!

I dont know if you can see the difference between this and my usual handwriting, but it’s supposed to look taller. Higher up. Neater. Cleaner. (Still my handwriting though so like so actually neat or clean, but you know like,,, in comparison to the norm.)

His dad only talks in one scene, and his mother has never said anything yet, so i dont blame you if you couldnt find it. In my. Large repertoire of chapters ive accumulated.

I definitely felt the same about the pages when drawing them. But probably the opposite feeling lol. Mine was more like “ugh i forgot theres so many. How many more of these do I have to get through??? How did i do this the first act ending with 11 pages???”

Im so glad you guys are on the edge of your seats with the letter :)

Thanks for the ask!

#ask reply #@cheswirls

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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wibta if i stopped being friends with my best friend?

this is probably gonna be long and all over the place, sorry.

me and this guy, "ghost", have been friends for around 2 years after i approached him during a pep rally.(we had been acquaintances since childhood). Since then, we have been super close and only grew closer after he got kicked out of our friendgroup and i followed him.

He decided to try to be friends with people from the old group and i decided not to(i hold grudges like a mother fucker, they hurt ghost and i will forever hate them.) and all was fine. We still hung out regularly, but recently he's been pulling away.

He had set a strong boundary recently, around early september. no biting, and less hitting. (i express affection by hitting and biting) and i followed these boundaries perfectly. Around three weeks ago, i accidentally got too excited and bit ghost. He didn't show he was upset, so i apologized quickly and moved on. After that, he seemed somewhat mad at me so i asked about it and he said how uncomfortable it made him that i bit him. I apologized a few more times, and im working on processing some bones to gift him. (bleaching them because he seems like he would enjoy those more than unbleached). Anyhow, every year we make plans together for homecoming and Halloween. This year, he made plans for those things without me. Its fine, but im seeing it as a sign hes done being my friend. he has declined to hang out with me for the past few weekends, which is rare.

Im wondering if i would hurt him if i stop making him hang out with me? I'm thinking of skipping halloween with him and just stop bothering him to hang out. The sorta "if you love him, let him go" kinda thing. I just don't wanna bother him further.

extra details if needed:

i am a pretty mean person in general, i poke fun at ghost often. He does the same thing back usually. I made a few jokes about his mom having cancer at one point, but i stopped once i bothered to read his carrd and it said he disliked those sorts of jokes. I also don't really have any other friends due to my rudeness and everything.

tldr: im kinda mean and my friend doesn't seem to wanna be friends anymore so I'm wondering if i should stop trying.

posting this without anon bc ghost doesn't use tumblr.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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gamora-borealis · 21 days ago

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hi callie i was wondering if you had any theological thoughts about phan vs jedus, im ex-catholic and kinda agnostic-atheist but i genuinely find your perspective on religion and christianity to be refreshing :)

oh thank you it is an honor to be asked 😭💖 this got really long so my answer is under the cut:

I had to go look the story of judas up again to refresh my memory on certain details because I feel like I'm mostly familiar with the simplified sunday school version in my head (I love theology/philosophy but sometimes the nuances of all the different tellings from each gospel get mixed up or forgotten in my head lol). If you want like, in depth info on the differences in the stories or arguments among biblical historians/academics about the historicity of his story I would recommend reading the Wikipedia article about Judas because it goes in pretty good depth and gives lots of citations and quotes like actual credible scholars that I read and not crackpot evangelical "historians" who try to claim that everything that happened in the bible is somehow 100% true and try to make all the gospels fit together when they actually contradict each other lol.

but essentially the main reason people even ship jedus is because in the text judas gave jesus a special greeting kiss on the cheek in front of the romans who were looking to arrest jesus to show them which guy they were looking for (he accepted a bribe for this). like I think it's more so a modern invention to make the kiss seem homoerotic or something, which like be my guest I guess lol I love making shit gay! some gospels claim he was possessed by satan, some claim he was just in it for the money, but I think it's agreed that he regretted it afterwards and didn't actually want jesus to die and so he killed himself (or had an accident after being very distraught).

but like, if you want to get real gay, john the apostle is referred to as the disciple "that jesus loved." although I have seen it pointed out that this is a bit biased considering that line is from the gospel of john which was written down by john's followers like a hundred years later. but still, also john was the only one of the 12 disciples at Jesus's crucifixion (along with Mary Magdalene who basically was a disciple but the church has tried to cover that up because she's a woman, and his mother Mary, and some other family friends who were also named Mary lmao). so like why jesus x judas and not jesus x john?? it kinda seems like childish "hehe judas kissed him GAYYYY" over like. the actual close relationships jesus had lol.

to be fair I don't think I've ever seen jesus christ super star or any other jesus inspired musical that may or may not have contributed to this ship being popular. but at least there is probably a narrative or subtext there that leads you to want to ship them, whereas in the straight up bible I'm like. idk lol.

but real talk like. dan and phil are so very like, drawn together by the universe coded (which in the kind of non-standard theology I ascribe to, God is the universe!) and are such an uplifting entertainment duo that bring joy and hope to so many people I'm like. If God and/or Jesus had to chose, would they choose this beloved real couple or the guy who betrayed Jesus and helped get him crucified??? Like please.

(also I could write an entire treatise on why theologically god is not homophobic lol I won't get into that, but whether that includes Jesus the historical guy who existed? idk he never spoke on that - though some people think he was accepting of a roman soldier who maybe had gay relationship with a servant but that interpretation is a bit iffy - but jesus did go against a lot of gender norms at the time by being a single nomadic teacher who hung out with single women and told men to leave their families and follow him and if we think of him as theologically supposedly being at the right hand of God in heaven nowadays then they would be on the same page lol).

To get actually theological about Judas though, there are people who believe that Jesus's crucifixion was a necessary in some kind of weird sacrifice for our sins situation (academically known as penal substitutionary atonement theory) which I just don't buy into that at all lmao even though it's very popular in Christianity, especially among evangelicals. so like some people might be like "well judas had to betray in order for Jesus to die which was a good thing" but I just straight up think that's a crazy thing to accept like why did God have to violently crucify a supposed version of himself and/or son in order to forgive people of their "sins" that is such a weird convoluted way of thinking but that's what happens when people insist on believing God is all powerful and then try to justify bad things happening. Whereas I'm a fan of the movement to replace the term "omnipotent" with "amnipotent" meaning God isn't all powerful but is all loving (and there are some better translations that actually support this there is a recent book about it by Thomas Jay Oord) and be like well sometimes bad shit happens that God doesn't support but God's gonna just keep trying their best!!! so like I don't think Judas had an excuse per se but also maybe Jesus was bound to be crucified anyways not because God wanted it but because he was like, building a movement to challenge the Roman Empire even though it wasn't necessarily a violent one (more like mutual aid, dual power type stuff rather than a direct, violent revolution - which some jews at the time understandably supported although it unfortunately didn't work out for them). But this is looking back at it from modern times. At the time you could say Judas sold out Jesus to the equivalent of the CIA or FBI or something, like even if he felt bad afterwards why are we shipping them... I guess people might be like "Judas had to do it for the plot it's tragic!!!" but for what other reason are we shipping them besides the betraying kiss on the cheek that was in a different culture lol

I did see some interesting arguments in the Wikipedia article about how most historians think Judas was real but some think he could have been an antisemitic invention by Christians, there's a very big messy history of Christians, like even in the scriptures, blaming Jesus's death on the Jews in a way that is just very antisemitic and probably not true so that's another interesting aspect to this as well.

Anyways this is my perspective as someone into queer, existential, process theology/philosophy that is ultimately pretty protestant despite me being a practicing anglo-catholic episcopalian who likes saints and catholic worship and some other catholic-y things lol (episcopalians are like the bridge between protestant and catholic lol). hope this big rant made sense, I got kinda hyperfixated and haven't had addedall today and have been procrastinating eating since before I started writing this so I better go do that now 😂

#phan #dan and phil #dnp

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cinnamonbear22 · 17 days ago

Text

Oblivious love (c.s x reader)

Chapter six

First five parts are up <3

This part is suuppperrr long but it’s fun sooo

Tw: fem reader, suggestive!!!, angst, fluff

no one could have ever prepared me for how hard it was being in a long distance relationship. days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. my life seemed as if it were flying by now since i was consumed with working full time at a populated restaurant as a server. me and chris tried the best we could to stay in touch everyday, but considering how both our lives are so busy, sometimes we'd only be able to text once maybe twice a day. we barley call much anymore, and he hasn't been back to boston in six months.

but i knew our connection was strong. it always has been.

but as much as he would reassure me, it was easy for me to get extremely down and insecure. the thought of another girl had always run through my head, or if he was losing interest, or if he really enjoyed the chase but not us actually being together. i knew he was afraid of commitment, and in times like these, it was hard for me to believe he still wanted to be with me.

but every month that we've been together, he'd always send me a package and tons of letters on our little anniversary date. we'd even have an over the phone dinner date. it sounds extremely corny, but it was so worth it. tonight was our nine month anniversary. i was more than anxious to get home to call him, and open the stuff he had sent me. he's always spoiling me.

i had three hours left of my shift, it was a crazy friday night with orders being thrown left and right, rude customers, and even worse tippers. it wasn't a good day for me at all. i had to work an eleven hour shift as well to cover the call offs. as much as i loved making money, this was totally draining. but i knew that at the end of the night i would be able to hear his voice and virtually celebrate with him.

the bell from the kitchen feverishly rang as dishes were flooding the counter. i was quick to snatch them quickly but carefully to take them to each table, being polite and sweet to each of the customers. i felt my overwhelmed body slowly shutting down. i was hot, gross, sweaty, and my mind was completely overstimulated.

i rushed to the back of the restaurant where my manager was helping the cooks with tickets and plating food. "hey im sorry, i need to step out for a minute" i more demanded than asked him as i wiped the beads of sweat coming from my forehead.

"be back in five, please" he nodded with extreme aggressiveness in his eyes as he said with those words. my manager was super sweet and understanding, but i could tell he was just as overwhelmed as i was.

i grabbed my cellphone from my purse and headed out into the back parking lot where i usually spent my breaks sitting against the wall and getting fresh air. i lazily sunk back against the warm brick, letting my body collapse on the cement. without hesitation, i called chris.

it rang for a long time before he actually picked up. "hey baby" his voice was quick to calm my overworked nerves.

"hi" i couldn't help but to smile at the little pet name. he's been calling me that for awhile now, but it always me butterflies. he still gives me butterflies.

"how are you doing? how's work?"

"crazy, we're fucking slammed" i took a deep breath while closing my eyes and leaning my head against the brick.

"awe" he cooed sympathetically, but i couldn't help but hear the array of voices in the background. "i'm sorry love"

"thank you," i tried my best to recognize the voices. it was hard to tell over the phone. "what are you up to?"

"just with a few friends" his answer was short. Which was strange to me because he never answered short, he was always going into detail about every little thing in his life.

"oh" i hummed. i wasn't sure what to make of it, i was most definitely overthinking it.

"i'm so sorry to cut this short but i really have to go" he was now slightly chuckling. i assumed his friends were trying to get his attention.

"it's okay" i swallowed hard and tried to cover the disappointment in my voice.

"i'll try to text you"

"thanks" i bit my lips as i felt my throat completely drying up.

"bye bye my sweet princess" his voice sounded and happy and it was hard for me to reciprocate his energy.

"wait" i held him up, hoping he'd still stay on the line.

"yes baby?"

"are we still going to call tonight..?" i asked sheepishly, afraid of his answer.

"why tonight?" his voice sounded genuinely confused as fits of laughter were happening near him.

"nothing. i'm sorry to bother you, bye" and with that i quickly hung up the phone as tears rolled down my cheeks. how could he forget? did he genuinely forget? i know he's busy... but how..?

the rest of the shift ended up being a bit miserable. even with how busy it was, it was all blocked out by the thoughts of mine and his conversation. millions of possibilities ran in my head to why and how he could’ve forgotten and that basically ate me alive the rest of the night. was it possible did he not care anymore? i was an insignificant part of his busy life, i wasn't a priority to him considering he had much bigger things to worry about. but why is he stringing me along then? just to know he has someone? so he doesn’t feel alone?

after i did my closing duties i didn't hang around like i usually did. i wished everyone a goodnight, grabbed my stuff, and left as fast as i could. there was nothing more that i wanted then to go home and cry into my mothers arms.

the traffic wasn't bad on the way home since its sort of late. barley anyone was out besides at the late night bars or clubs. once i turned down my street, i eyed up the sturniolo's home as if the triplets were magically going to be there. there were two extra cars sitting in their driveway from what their own cars, one of them looked like nate's, the other one i believed was justin's. it wasn't unusual that nate would sometimes go over there solo just to have dinner with them, or help mr. sturniolo out with home projects.

once i had pulled into my driveway a few houses down, i was welcomed with an empty driveway meaning my mom went out. the pit in my stomach grew as a few more tears slipped out of my eyes, wanting nothing but comfort right now. i walked into my empty, dark home with dread hanging heavy over my head. at least i had his card to open tonight, considering it came in the mail a few days ago but i always wait until the day of our anniversary to open it.

i didn't even bother turning on the house lights since i just went straight into my bedroom. the card was laying neatly on my nightstand near some of the trinkets and items from previous packages. as i sat down on my bed, i checked my phone one last time to see if i had any notifications from him.

i prayed there would be. i prayed that he had realized that he'd remember, and this whole night would make a good turn.

but he didn't.

i reached for the card and began opening it since we weren't going to open our gifts over facetime like how we normally do... how did he forget?

inside the envelope contained a store bought card with a corny quote on the front. this was also not like him at all. he always, always hand-wrote me letters that would be several pages long. this was adding to my overthinking, proving myself right that he could be losing interest.

inside the card contained a twenty dollar gift card to mcdonald's, and a continuation of the corny quote in the inside. the only thing that he wrote on the inside was a heart signed with his name after.

"are you serious..?" i took a shaky deep breath while speaking out loud to myself. he never, ever has done anything like this before. it's not that i'm not appreciative of his gifts big or small, I appreciated every single thing this man has ever done for me, but it's easy to tell how minimal effort he put into this. he couldn't even write 'love chris'? he couldn't write a little more? he always does.

i tossed the card on the floor, letting out all my tears instead of holding them back. i threw my phone on my bed and bitterly walked myself into the bathroom, turning on the shower before running back and grabbing some pajamas for after.

i just wanted to talk to him a little longer tonight. i wanted nothing but to hear his voice, and enjoy our anniversary together over the phone. but he couldn't even remember.

this was complete bullshit.

third person

chris in-fact did not forget their anniversary. currently, he was a few houses down from her in his own. justin, nate, (y/n)'s mom, and his parents all picked him and his brothers up at the airport a few hours ago.

chris had been planning this surprise for a few weeks now, and ever since he'd been planning, he's been wanting to tell (y/n) so badly. it was so hard for him to keep anything from her since she was basically his personal diary where he would tell her every thought that ran across his head.

he had sent her a shitty card on purpose just to add more to his surprise. but with keeping this secret from her, over the last few weeks it had been hard for him to even speak to her. everytime he'd hear her voice he felt extreme guilt. he felt like he was lying to her, betraying her. it caused him to be more distant which was also giving him major anxiety.

but finally tonight was the night his plan was finally going to unfold. all of the stress and tension was finally going to be released. his entire body was beaming, he felt so jittery and excited. it had been months since they last seen each other.

not to mention, the amount of gifts he had bought her was absolutely absurd. it took him, matt, nick, and nate to carry everything he had bought for her. he never cared spending the money on her. he enjoyed gift giving.

"she's home from work, she usually jumps in the shower right away once she's off" her mother peered out the window and chris's heart began to race. the love of his life was only a few houses down, just like the past. nick had grabbed the camera since chris had asked him to record it since they had all loved looking back at memories.

"come on, let's go" chris smiled widely, grabbing an arm full of his gifts and matt and nate did the same, nick carried as much as he could since he had already started recording.

they had all piled out their front door, running like children down the sidewalk to (y/n)'s house. they were all chuckling and laughing as the warm summer breeze lifted their hair. all of them felt nostalgic, remembering they used to do this all of the time.

(y/n)'s mom had left the back door open for them in advance before she left her house. they quietly opened her chain linked fence, being cautious of how rusted the hinges were.

all of them were filled with laugher, trying their hardest to open the sliding back door and keeping their chuckles as quiet as possible. chris's energy was extremely contagious, for they all felt overwhelmed with excitement and giddiness. especially because they know how hard it was for chris to keep the secret away from (y/n).

"wait" matt quietly shushed all of them as they all stopped dead in their tracks. they all stood around and looked at him, seeing what the problem was. "alright showers going, let's go" he smiled and they began to tiptoe on the steps leading up to her bedroom.

"we have to do this real quick" chris spoke low to them as he opened up her door slowly.

quietly, each of them flooded into her room and they all instantly got to work. nick handed the camera off to nathan as he began to arrange the rose petals chris had bought into a heart on her bed. matt and nathan scattered the helium balloons around her bedroom, as chris started to litter her bed with the gifts he had bought her. he had ended up buying her so much that he couldn't even fit all the presents on just her bed, he had to arrange them neatly on her bedroom floor.

"mom?" (y/n) called down her steps, causing all of the boys to freeze in their place. "are you home?" her voice sounded hurt, making chris's heart drop.

nick quietly made his way behind her door and shut off her lights that were near him. matt laid on the floor near her bed that was out of view from the door, and nathan hurried and took the closet. she sighed when she didn't hear a response, and her footsteps began approaching the room they were all in.

chris held onto the plush bear he got her, which the big bear held a number nine. he was buzzing practically, he anxiously rolled back and forth from his heels to his toes. he couldn't handle the anticipation, he just wanted to run out a hug her as tight as he could. his smile was ear to ear as he could hear the doorknob jiggling, he couldn't see anything since her room was now pitch black.

the doorknob jiggled, but she never entered the room. instead, they heard footsteps straying away from her room and down the steps. "are you fucking kidding me" nick whispered through gritting teeth, causing them all to laugh quietly amongst themselves.

(y/n) skipped down the steps and into her dark kitchen. she flipped on the light switch, and opened up one of her cabinets to grab a bowl. "what's she doing?" matt muttered as everyone listened carefully. once the sound of cereal being poured, they all began to laugh once again.

"cereal after a shower is crazy" nate peaked his head out of the closet and they all began to chuckle more. it was the best type of laughter, where they all tried holding it back but the more they heard each other they just couldn't. it was like getting the giggles in church but you have to be quiet.

"why it crazy though?" chris argued with his friend in the dark, clutching the bear to his chest as he began to sway around anxiously. "if you really think about it it's sort of an amazing comb-"

"be quiet!" nick lowly hushed all of them. the room became completely silent, not even their breathing could be heard. chris listened carefully to the footsteps approaching the door once again. his entire body was radiating as the wide grin came back onto his face. he wouldn't be able to hide it if he tried.

(y/n) wiped her dripping nose with chris's hoodie she was wearing with the hood draped over her head. the scent was almost completely faded from it. she tried her best not to cry anymore. she was so disappointed and upset, she had no idea what to even think. her shower didn't help clear her thoughts whatsoever.

slowly, her bedroom door creaked open and the hallway light spilled into the room. nick held his breath as he held the camera up towards chris. chris's heart was pounding so hard he was convinced everyone in the quiet room must've heard it. (y/n)'s hand wearily roamed her wall to reach the light switch.

once she had flicked it on, chris had finally burst. "happy nine months!" he screamed excitingly, gripping the bear so tight in his hands since he was ecstatic.

first person

my jaw had hit the floor.

my entire stomach filled with butterflies as i set my bowl on my dresser and ran into his arms that quickly welcomed me. he had swiftly dropped the bear he was holding while i jumped into him at full speed, wrapping my arms around his neck and legs around his torso. he stumbled back a little, but he was able to still stand as he held me back just as tight. this had to have now been the one-hundredth time i cried today, but these tears were good ones.

"my love..." i pulled away from him as he held me under my butt, we both looked in each others eyes with extreme adoration. "i missed you" my hand reached around his neck to his face as his eyes grew glossy. his smile was so big and genuine it absolutely melted my heart.

"surprise" he raised his brows and smiled as he spoke in a gentle tone with me. both of us started to lean in, slowly closing the small gap between us.

"woah! woah! woah!" nicks voice screamed throughout the room right as i was about to reach his lips. "do not" he held up his finger wagging it dramatically. my eyes went wide from complete awe as he was holding a camera that was pointed at us.

"nick?!" i looked back at chris with excitement and disbelief, then back to nick. chris set me down and i was quick to engulf nick in a hug. "oh my god nick, why haven't i seen you in so long?" he bent down and hugged me tightly around my shoulders as i strangled his neck, laughing at my reaction into my damp hair. "i'm going to kill you" i wiped my eyes from the tears that were gently falling, i felt an array of emotions all at once and my body didn’t know what to do.

"i'm sorry" he leaned back at me and smiled apologetically, pulling me back into him after i had just smacked his arm. "shit has gotten so crazy" he talked dramatically while i leaned against my best friend. "it wasnt intentional you know that" he squeezed my shoulder gently and platonically pecked the top of my head. "you know you're my best friend for life, no matter what" we both looked at each other and smiled, making me feel so much better.

"where's my matty b?" i stepped away from nick and looked around for matt. I knew he had to be here somewhere since he was usually never without them. as my eyes were scanning the area for him, i finally began recognizing my room. it was littered with gorgeously wrapped gifts and bags that spilled off of my bed. there was rose petals that were arranged in a heart with a nine in the center, and balloons floated against my ceiling. my heart had completely stopped at the display in front of me. "oh my god..." i froze in place as my hand covered my agape mouth staring at the array of gestures. "christopher..." i looked over at him with shock which he smiled widely and crossed his arms pridefully.

"i'm here" matt pushed himself off my floor, but i was so caught up in the scene in front of me his words were drowned out. i was completely lost in chris's overjoyed smile. "don't be too excited" his tone sounded sassy which immediately drew my attention back to him.

"awe matt," i quickly turned with open arms and pulled him right into me. "i missed you so much" i gave him a tight squeeze around his torso as his hands rubbed my back. "you're a jerk too for not seeing me sooner" i pulled away and nudged his stomach playfully as he chuckled from how ticklish he was.

"come on," he smiled down at me and kept his arm around my shoulder. He still gently rubbing my back before speaking again, "you know i didn't do it on purpose. like nick said, it's been absolutely insane down in l.a. for us"

"i understand, im just teasing you" i gave him one more tight squeeze before i slowly gravitated towards chris. He smiled warmly at me as he held up one of his arms in a welcoming manner. i leaned right into him as his arm draped around my shoulder and kissing the top of my head excitedly. my closet doors suddenly swung open, revealing nate with a goofy smile. "nathan?" i was more confused than excited, considering me and him went out for coffee this morning. "are you serious? did you know the whole time?"

"what? it's not my secret to tell" he grinned as i walked out from underneath Chris to hug him lovingly even though i was with him almost everyday.

"and you're a jerk, as well as the rest of them" i had nudged his arm with saying that, but i was prompt to head straight back into chris. i rested my head against his shoulder as i wrapped my arm around his torso looking around the room filled with an absurd amount of gifts and my best friends. his strong scent filled my nose, giving me a serene sensation i've been craving.

"alright, we're going to leave you guys alone" nick put down the camera as he watched me and Chris adoringly. He started to gather up Matt and Nathan like a mother.

"awe guys," i slightly pouted at the sight of them walking out of my room. as much as i wanted to be with chris right now, i havent seen matt and nick in months. I missed them just as much as I missed chris. "we have to do something tomorrow okay?" i walked over to both nick and matt, opening my arms for another hug from the each of them.

"promise" matt rubbed my back softly for reassurance of the plans.

"i love you guys, thank you so much" my eyes darted in between nick, matt, and nate. "ill see you tomorrow nate" i hugged him too since i didn't want him to feel left out. they all started to walk out of my bedroom, closing the door behind them. i didn't even have to let them out since they've been here so many times, it's like their second home. once i had heard the door close shut, I turned around slowly to face my goofy boyfriend. "christopher owen what have you done?" i asked in shock with my hand on my hips, looking like a mother who's about to discipline her child.

"was it too much?" he chuckled as i still stood in place, reality completely setting in for me now. i didn’t know how to feel at all, i was so down for months, especially today and then suddenly, here is the solution for my sadness standing right in front of me. but for one, i've been neglected all day long by him, and quite frankly the last month has been pretty rough communication wise. so he thinks a ton of gifts are going to undo the damage? but it was such a surprise... it seemed genuine if he had his brothers and friend here to help. it was hard to be mad at him, i could never stay mad at him, but the way he makes me feel sometimes is unbearable. "you're not talking right now i'm scared" he raised the large teddy bear up to hide his face childishly before walking closer to me. he started to reach his arms out to grab me with a smug grin. I didn’t know how to feel at all right now. truly, I’ve never felt more mixed emotions in my life.

"i'm seriously going to kill you" i pushed his arm away as he tried to give me a hug. his face completely dropped from a sly smirk to a tense, hesitant expression.

"what?" he pouted with glossy lips and his brows knit tightly together with confusion.

"you made me feel like a piece of shit all day chris, not even all day but the last month" my emotions felt extremely mixed. i am so much more than happy to see him, he’s the love of my life, but the way things have been going for us haven't been all too good. everytime I bring up that I wanted to talk about our issue and fixing it, he would always come up with an excuse to why we couldn’t talk right then, or not even respond at all. i knew he wasn’t the type to handle confrontation well, but if this was going to be the only time we had to talk about it, it was going to happen now.

"i-im sorry!" he slightly raised his voice that was laced with a bit of fear. "please don't be mad, i know you are though, but see, it was all apart of the plan" he smiled pleadingly while rambling and started slowly moving away from me. "listen baby, i know i've seemed distant for a little bit but you have to understand" he pressed his lips together as his eyes were showing extreme distress.

"understand what?" i cocked a brow aggressively without even meaning to.

"i started planning this surprise around two months ago, and ever since i booked the flights and told my brothers the idea, i've felt so anxious ever since." his tone was sincere and timid as he still held eye contact with me.

"anxious about what?" i asked more softly, my heart slowly began to melt. I hated hearing that he was anxious, I know how bad he struggles with anxiety but he refuses to talk a lot about it, so him openly using that term made my heart sink.

"every single time we'd speak, text, call, whatever! i always felt like i was lying to you by not telling you i was coming back into town for our anniversary, and that really, really stressed me out" he took a deep breath with his hand over his chest. “because it would just fucking kill me everytime I heard your little voice over the phone asking ‘am I going to see you soon?’ and I just had to say no” he mocked my voice but in a non-teasing manner. It looked as if he were having a small panic attack, his eyes frantically roamed all over my face and his chest rose and fell rapidly. I bit my lip guilty at the fact that I jumped to conclusions way too quickly. "and i cannot lie to you, ever, i had to lie and tell you i wasn't coming home anytime soon, i lied about upcoming events, i had to lie and lie and lie" he swallowed hard as my face completely softened from the anger I was holding onto. "i don't like lying to you. i never will ever again, and it was so hard on me to keep this from you since i tell you everything" he was anxiously rambling, our eyes locked strongly as he spoke. "i felt so guilty, i didn't even know how to talk to you for the last month. i'm so sorry." i stood there quietly while my eyes darted across the room at the substantial amount of gifts that were overflowing from my bed to the ground, then back up at chris who was rubbing his mouth; one of his subconscious nervous habits. "baby i'm really sorry" his brows knitted together as his eyes widened and he kept his hand covering his mouth. "please say something i'm really scared" he broke eye contact with me for the first time and looked around the room nervously.

my heart was completely melted. i felt so ashamed to even be passive aggressive towards him, he didn't deserve that at all. my lips pouted for playful sympathy as i started to walk towards him. i stood on my tip toes and i threw my arms around his shoulders, hugging his neck and running my fingers through his soft hair. "chris" i sighed and hugged him tighter as his arms found their way around to my waist. my head gently rested on his shoulder as i took in more of his cologne. "i love you, so, so much" i picked my head off of his shoulder and began to pepper kisses all around his cheeks, earning a lot of small chuckles and laughs from him. "you are the sweetest boy ever" my hands traveled from hair hair up his jaw to cup his face. his big familiar smile returned from earlier. "thank you" i smiled back up at him, caressing his cheeks gently as his eyes focused down on me. his face was completely relaxed now, no more tension, no more stress. just him.

he slowly bent his head down to my height and yanked me even closer to him. our bodies were fully pressed together now, and as much as we've been close and intimate, butterflies were quickly filling the insides of my stomach as i felt a blush spread across my face. his ears were tinted a soft pink as well as his cheeks, making me smile even wider at how adorable he looked. "you're smile is so precious" his eyes looked down at my mouth and quickly reconnected with mine again. i bit my lip to try and resist smiling and blushing even more, but i couldn't help it. "thank you for forgiving me my sweet princess," his hand swept gently across my burning cheeks, brushing away my stray damp hair.

"how could i not" my hands still held his gentle face as we both stared at each other with worship and appreciation. we both began to lean in and finally, after six long months, our lips softly engaged in a sweet, tender kiss. we were both so light with our soft touches, but the energy and compassion was radiating throughout the room. we breathed heavily against each other as my hands laced through the back of his hair and his big hands started squeezing my waist, pulling me into him even more as if we havent seen each other in decades. i felt him begin to smile in the kiss, making me blush even harder. his smile then turned to small chuckles as he pulled away from me and covered his mouth to try and refrain his laughter. "what?" i looked at him in an amused fashion, my eyebrows shot up with confusion as i immediately felt embarrassed. "did i do something? did my kissing get bad?"

"no, no" he waved his hands as his face was pink and his eyes were squinted shut from laughing so much. "i'm just really, really happy. i started laughing i’m sorry" he pressed a smile in his lips before covering his mouth again and looking away. "i'm sorry"

"do i have something on my face or what?" i immediately pushed myself off of him and turned to look in the mirror that's on my wall, checking myself up and down to see if there was anything laughable. "bad breath?"

"no," he whined, accentuating the 'o' before he came up behind and picked me up by the waist, squeezing me tightly. "i'm actually just so happy and giggly" he kissed my cheek before picking me up and spinning us around. i began to laugh now at his high energy, i could feel it shedding off of him and into me. "i'm just so happy to see my girl" he set me down but still kept his arms around my waist. he gently began swaying us both side to side as i laughed with him. "my girl, my girl, my girl" he sang the temptations song in my ear as his head laid on my shoulder. "now," he spun me around again and faced me towards my bed. "i want to see you open all your gifts" he let go of my waist and began to rub his hands together deviously. "i can't wait to see your reaction" he smirked down at me causing me to laugh.

"youre the corniest person i've ever met." i shook my head as he softly pushed me to sit on my bed. like a little elf, he handed me every single gift. each gift i had opened he would give an explanation for each item i've received. what meaning it had, why he picked it, where he got it and whatnot. he was completely ecstatic and had high reactions to my own. it was like he was the one receiving. each item he got me was expensive... price does not matter to me whatsoever, but absolutely nothing at all was cheap of what he got me. i felt so horrible and guilty at the same time. "chris i feel like a spoiled brat right now" i shyly looked up at him as i held a dior necklace in my hands, the same one i have only mentioned one time to him months ago.

"you are a brat" he was laying on his side across ny bed, his arm propping his head up as he watched me open the gifts. his eyes were slightly drooping now, making me almost fold completely.

he had to have been tired from a long day especially with flying, that always made him excessively sleepy. his eyes tiredly looked up at me, his hair was a bit messy, and his bicep was slightly flexed as he held his head up. "am i?" i jokingly challenged him, trying to bother him on purpose.

"oh yeah," his voice was slightly hoarse as well, making me tense up. "you're a little spoiled brat" he widened his eyes in a silly manner, nudging me in the back with his foot. "look at you blushing" he cooed at me in a high-pitched voice, reaching his hand that wasn't holding his head up to pinch at my thighs.

"cut it out" i covered my face and looked the opposite direction, only getting more flustered. i couldn't even control it at this point.

"stop, look back" he whined childishly but i didn't listen to him just to push his buttons. "see you are a brat you don't listen" i heard him shift on the bed and quickly i felt his hands slide against my waist. he rested his head on my shoulder, pressing me against his chest. "what? you dont like being called a spoiled brat?" his fingers gently crept from my back up to my neck, pushing my hair away softly as he craned his face in my skin.

"you're so annoying" i leaned against him, tilting my head to the side so he had more room to nestle his face in. i was such a sucker for him.

"am i?" he mocked me as his hot breath hit against my skin, sending chills immediately up my spine. "if i'm so annoying then why do you have goosebumps?" he gently pressed his lips into the side of my neck, completely making me cave into him. i didn't even know how to tease him back, his touch was easy to make my head spin. "c'mon my love let's open the rest of the gifts" he now pecked a kiss underneath my jawline as his hands slid underneath the hoodie i was wearing, gripping my bare waist tightly. his hands felt so warm against my skin.

"don't tease me" i snapped out of the trance i was in, taking my head off of him so I could look up at him behind me. his eyes were still droopily tired with a cocky smirk across his face.

"what? i'm not doing anything" he pretended to be innocent behind his lustful blue eyes. i looked him up and down with pressed lips together as his fingers started to rub tiny circles in my waist.

"are you going to let me go so i can keep opening your gifts?" i collected myself so i could shoot back at him.

"i'm never, ever letting you go" his sexy smirk turned into a large smile and he quickly kissed my forehead. He started to shuffle around the bed some more and scooted closer towards me.

"corny" i rolled my eyes at him before he completely picked me up on the bed, and threw me to the other side.

"who you callin' corny" he began to tickle me as rose petals now scattered everywhere, and i began laughing as hard as i could.

"chris! im going to kill you!" i roared while trying to swat his hands away until i finally lunged up at him. i started to push him off me as and began feverishly hitting him to try and get him to stop tickling me.

but considering all of his years fighting with his brothers, he swiftly grabbed my hands in an instant, and tackled me against the bed. "you're so cute" he had big puppy dog eyes as he was fully restricting my limbs since he was on top of my arms and legs. he began peppering kisses all over my face as i tried to squirm and move out of his grip. "awe," he cooed down at me as my face was cringing away from him. "you'll never be able to get away" he teased me one more time before getting up to sit calmly at the edge of my bed.

"you're so crazy" i tried to kick him but my legs didn't reach. he just smiled and shook his head, laughing away at his own actions.

"crazy in love" he said in a nerdy voice before collapsing and laying completely dead in my bed. he sighed dramatically like how they do in movies, making me laugh even more at him. everything felt so perfect. so normal. for the first time in months i felt complete. he was truly my other half.

i crawled over to him as he pretended to be dead at the edge of my bed, his eyes were shut and his tongue was hanging out. i laughed at him and pinched his side, and surprisingly he didn’t even flinch. "that's so unfortunate" i sighed loudly like he did but his eyes still didn’t open. "well, good thing i can go to my other boyfriends house in my new victoria secret set, lacy, reveali-"

"what new set?" only one of his blue eyes opened and i immediately started laughing at his immaturity. "you got a new set and didn't show me?!" both his eyes now opened widely as i sat above him.

"not concerned about the other boyfriend or?" i joked but he quickly responded with scoff.

"i know you don't have another boyfriend because i've demolished every single male who looks your way" he raised his brows dramatically with a know it all attitude, cracking his knuckles goofily and nodding proudly.

"demolished is a crazy word choice" my hand reached down to his head that was rested near my lap. i started to gently run my nails through his hair and he instantly smiled at the sensation. He looked up at me lovingly, and returned the gaze. “you’re so weird,” i giggled down at his silly lovestruck smile.

"show me the new set" his expression looked eagerly at me while wiggling his eyebrows.

"you are the worlds biggest cornball" i slapped his arm and he pinched my thigh as his comeback. "i didn't actually get one"

"boo" he shoved a thumbs down in my face before putting his arms behind his head, showing off more of the veins in his along his forearms and wrist. "don't worry," he brought back his devious smirk that made my heart drop. "i got you one."

"did you really?" i was shocked, not expecting that at all from him. "how did you know what size to get?" i tilted my head in curiosity.

"i know you inside and out baby" he winked jokingly at me, instantly causing blood to rush straight to my cheeks.

"i hate you" i laughed in an embarrassed manner while feeling the cockiness radiate off of him.

"it's in that pink bag right there" he lifted his arm out from behind his head and pointed to one of the unopened bags on the ground. "try it on" he demanded, but quickly changed his demeanor. "please" he softened his hard face to a pleading one.

my cheeks were most definitely as bright as a tomato as i stood up from my bed, stepping over gift bags and reaching for the pink one. "this one?" i asked while holding it up as he nodded with a wide smile on his face. "oh my god.." i bit my lip nervously.

i set the bag down on my dresser and began to move the tissue paper over to reveal a smaller box inside. chris started to shift around in my bed, sitting straight up with his hands neatly in his lap. "i'm really excited" he clapped his hands as he carefully watched my expression through the mirror. "but if you don't want to try it on it's okay" he quickly threw up his hands in defense with big apologetic eyes.

"no, no, i will" i turned back and looked at him with the box in my hand.

"are you sure?" he asked, his lustful attitude quickly left as he double checked.

"yes baby" i smiled and didn’t hesitate to walk out of my room into the bathroom. i didn't mind changing in front of him, but i wanted this to be a surprise since he was on the edge of his seat.

i walked down the hall into the bathroom and quickly opened the box. inside there was a white lingere set. the top was very lacy and displaying, definitely not covering up much. as well as the bottoms, they were lacy just like the top, with not much coverage.

of course, he'd pick the one with the least amount of fabric.

i began undressing myself from my pajamas and into the lingerie. i have no idea if this would fit considering how small it was... i carefully clasped the bra and turned it around the right way, weaving my arms into the delicate straps. i dropped my pants, and slid on the tiny thong.

i looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, and surprisingly, it hugged everything perfectly. it accentuated my breast as well as my thighs, making me feel like a super model. although it was extremely sheer and revealing, it made me look amazing.

i started to pick up my clothes off the bathroom floor and i started to assemble the small box back together so i didn't leave a mess. as i was throwing away the tissue paper from inside the box, a condom fell out from the decretive sheer sheets. "chris.." i sighed to myself before grabbing it as well as the rest of the items i took into the bathroom. i hurried down the hall incase my mom came home and i didn't hear, and stood nervously outside my door. "close your eyes" i yelled, resting my hand on the knob.

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