#im not saying my ships because you know what my trash heap likes

[arttrampbelle]

Srry for the very heated. Very real. Very raw. And cery fucking angry vent below. Im sick of this shit in the mortal kombat "fandom" on here.

Cw: vent. Im Really fucking angry.

gonna ignore the trash heap dumpster fire that is the mortal kombat fandom and write my own mk stuff.

Thats the only mk that exists. The mk in my brain n heart.

Sorry not sorry but mk sucks now. Ed boon legitimately doesn't know or care to listen to the real fans. (He had the audacity to basically say street fighter was outdated when he hadn't done anything worth a lick of fucking damn in 30yrs that was decent and didn't backtrack on. Gameplay and story. Fuck off ed boon you boomer pathetic ass peice of trash. Go suck a fat dick n die. Fr.)

Oh yeah and called street fighter anime like when wtf is he doing making all the characters look so damn young like that sus af boon. Real sus.

Nrs has their egos so far up their asses. And so do these new "fans" who don't bother to care because they wanna just fuck a fictional character. (Dont get me wrong. I self ship,i love the characters too. But i actually have a working brain to know. There is more going on then whatever the fuck im oogling at you twats! Like fucking stop looking at your pathetic blorbos for five fucking seconds and look at the bigger picture here! Thirsty ass bitches. God damn. )

So yeah. Any mk stuff from mortal kombat is gonna be my own writing. So nrs can suck it. New fans can suck it and fucking die in a dumpster fire. They can kiss my whole asscheek.

Fucking ruined scorpion. They will fucking pay for that. Fucked over everything and everyone.

Kung lao. Got fucking nerfed....AGAIN!

Raiden reduced to bitch boi.

Liu kang need a say more?!

Shang tsung. A pathetic welp. Wtaf?! Also why tf is kronika back?! That absolutely makes no sense. Period. Yup. As i suspected. They lokified him. The fans are not villain fans unless they look "pretty" enough for them. Grossly making him like a teeny bopper. Like wtaf is wrong with y'all?! Shang tsung isn't supposed to be a fucking babyface. You weirdos!

Shao kahn. A diablo genshin impact villain rip off.

All the women have same face syndrome. Looking like kim k Instagram models. Gross. Like im sorry. They all look gross and dehydrated to me. All the same body types. All "conveniently attractive". Yeah. 30yrs and they still have yet to make a character look "average" or a character with a larger body type,fat character that wasn't a joke character or thrown to the side. Cant ever make the women normal looking. Nope gotta appease the loser men with porn models. And anyone who is a woman who falls for that shit. Thinking its hashtag girlboss doesn't help this. No. What would be. Is actually hiring and PAYING actual real woc models and voice actors to be in your games. But nope.

Nrs is lazy pathetic pos guys. Who just want money.

All the asian guy characters look like they took Lewis tans face and copy cut pasted it. Fr. They dont look good. At all. They do not look like they have any personality. Period.

Johnny is the only one that is different. Ofc the only white guy is done decent. Because they cant of course fuck up their precious little white dude to project their insecurities on. (Course they did fuck him up because everything thqt made johnny special is now gone. He just some douche who looks like jc)

The shokan are tiny af. Pathetic. Weak. Ugh.

And they wanna disguise this horseshit as something groundbreaking when it's not really. Most fans are not gonna pay and arm n a leg for a shitty game that you guys legit fucking ruined integral lore to.

All hiding it behind "oh but its a new world" no honey its a entirely new game Franchise only using mortal kombat in name brand alone.

Its not even mortal kombat anymore.

ITS SOME PATHETIC ASS DUDES FANFIC FROM A DC FANS BASEMENT ON WATTPAD.

So yeah im pissed.

So anything from me. Mortal kombat related.

Will be from my own writing.

Until nrs can actually pull their heads out their ass and clean house.

I wont be buying anything official from them. Like merch n games. They can suck it. All movies will be pirated. Etc.

I will play the shit i have,and watch and stick to the 95 movie n be done with it.

Fucking hell. They ruined scorpion!

Im just pissed.

[heartlessfujoshi]

HI. first of all i want to stress you dont know me but i love u (very much). secondly, what are the top 5 ships and fandoms that you love reading? particularly maybe 5 ships you might like receiving fics for Christmas? just asking for a friend. totes. I LAVA U VERY MUCHLY (sssh no it's not me ssh stahp) AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK

This is legit the worst the fucking ask ever, ANONCHANSAN-SENPAI. 

But because I know it’s you, here are my answers: 

Top 5 Fandoms that I know we’re apart of together: 

Free! Haikyuu!! Gangsta BNHA Kuroshitsuji 

As for the ships? Well, you know what I like. 👀

[darylwillfightnatureforcarol]

(WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF THAT STUPID TEENY BOPPER BLONDE GIRL IN THIS POST)

Guys, please pray for my soul. I'm about to start on Season 4.

How the hell am I going to get through that damned cringey ass hug in 30 Days Without An Accident?

If I'm already stressing over that, how am I going to get through Alone and Still.

I can't even skip the damned episodes because I'm watching it with my mum 😏

Please send me ideas on how to look at this humorously.

Btw (and warning for b3thyl rant):

Just to say it for the millionth time: Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to write that stupid ass Daryl and B3th storyline in the first place?!

That hug is so uncomfortable to watch. Did they think we would think it was sweet because 'Aw, she's so cute, trying to make him feel better' I just watch it with the sense that the FBI should be busting into that prison. I thought the same in the scene where B3th kisses Rick on the cheek.

Was the writer or whoever proposed the storyline a closet pedo? Or a teenage girl? What the hell was the point of pairing them up for those episodes?

They say that they never intended for it to be perceived romantically, but come on, there's no way they couldn't know some people were going to interpret it that way. Especially teenage girls.

Im aware that EK is older than the character she played and that she briefly dated Norman (which is still kinda gross imo but they're adults. To each their own) but you can't just overlook the fact that she was playing a girl that was AT LEAST only 18.

How do you go about justifying that. As if Daryl would ever touch her when he is clearly so against exploiting children. The fact that she is 18 is hardly anything worth mentioning. She is BARELY 18 and still basically a child.

To ship that trash heap is to basically admit you have no idea who Daryl Dixon is. It's actually insulting to his character if you think about it.

Do those crazy people think the group or Maggie, for that matter, would have been okay with that shit? No freaking way! As much as Maggie cares about Daryl, you can bet she would have found something sharp and used it in unsavoury places.

God, I'm sorry for the rant guys. Just, this lead up to this abuse on my eyes is stressing me tf out.

I'd love to blame it on the shippers for making watching those episodes uncomfortable but it's not even that. Even I can feel that tension on screen and it makes my skin crawl.

It's Norman and EK that cause it, I know. It's their real life stuff coming through because honestly, they're both not the greatest of actors. No offense to them. It's just how I interpret their talents.

So, like I said, we're all pretty sure the two of them had something going on, which while creepy, was not illegal. That clearly translated into screen and that's why those episodes seem loaded with sexual tension that makes me want to barf.

Because I'm not watching it as Norman and EK, I'm watching it as Daryl and B3th, with all I know about their characters in my mind. And it's just wrong. It feels wrong. It looks wrong. It IS wrong.

The amount of disgusting b3thyl fanart I've been bombarded with on Pinterest lately has also not helped matters. What the fuck is wrong with their algorithm? I like a shit ton of Caryl fanart, so you punish me with that trash?

I need some postive vibes guys. I keep seeing the same damned D0nnie fanart on Instagram too.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (26)

@spickerzocker​ said:

hey there! just a heads up that i tried to click on the "why i don't ship" explanation link in your faq and it says that there is no post with that url/it's generally broken. also your "a conversation about recovery" thing is beautiful and hurts in the best way and i love it. have a nice day!

Yes, I intentionally took that link down awhile ago, and last night I went and updated some of the tabs on my blog. Here are my basic thoughts:

I wrote that link years and years ago, while I was first navigating the internet and while I was still figuring out important things about my own identity and opinions. I ran my blog differently back then, but by the end of the first few months, I knew I was uncomfortable with shipping. 

As people began to interact with me and my work, I told them over and over again no, I don’t want to talk about that, and I don’t want to write about it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t think that was a common position to take at the time, so it wasn’t what people expected from me. 

During those years, I felt like I had to justify myself and give a valid explanation. I wrote that post explaining why I had that boundary, and I put it in a place where anyone could find it.

I said no when people asked, let them make jokes about it, and made jokes about it myself in response. As time went on I got more and more exasperated when I had to repeat myself. I wrote definite rules into my ask box, request tab, and FAQ. People still asked. I wrote it into my description. People still asked. 

The truth is yeah, there’s a pretty simple explanation for my discomfort. It makes sense. It’s easy to understand, and most folks think it’s a “good enough” reason to leave me alone. The difference between young-me and current-me is that I no longer feel the need to justify myself. 

None of y’all need to know why I set the boundaries that I set. My explanation isn’t relevant, and I’m not obligated to give it. I said no. That’s enough. 

I think a good number of folks remember my explanation from the past, and I don’t mind that at all. There may be a time where I talk about it again, in a more appropriate context, so I guess we’ll see.

That’s a lot of information in response to a very helpful ask. Thanks! The link is gone now, and I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the fic :)

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Anonymous said:

U suck

Kenza sent this anon as a joke. She’s right, and I thank her. 

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Anonymous said:

I'm a doctor and ive seen it all.....but the milk fic made me gag

Excellent

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@wingedskyes said:

Ah. Wait. I wasn't on anon....uhm. oh well. It's fine. I like milk and am not ashamed. 😆

I don’t think I received another message from you actually, but I too like milk and I’m glad we’re on the same page

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@thelittleredheadedmusician said:

To add to the milk discussions: my best friend from home and best friend from college have each finished a gallon a milk by themselves within 2 days.

I do that too, every once in awhile. When the milk craving hits it’s a gallon a day

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Anonymous said:

"TIM! POUR HIM. A GLASS OF M A L K!"

Hold on I have to google some things

Yeah this is funny

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Anonymous said:

I have read that milk fic three separate times and every time I’m laughing just as hard as Tim and dick by the end it’s just so excellently executed and builds so perfectly that by the time dick cracks I’m ready to go too and I just lose it it’s amazing I love it

Awww anon I’m so pleased :)

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@the-smartass-under-the-mountain said:

Just wanted to drop by and say your recent fic with Tim antagonizing Damian with increasingly outrageous milk concoctions had me giggling. It was so cute and refreshing to see Dick enjoying Tim's little prank. And Bruce's reaction to just... walk away was fantastic!

Thank you! I’m always so thrilled when y’all think the jokes hit

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@njtheboywonder​ said:

I havnt really enjoyed a fic in years, but i stopped to read ur fanfic with tim drinking milk just to fuck w dami amd it made me smile. Thanks, for writing it.

Oh that warms my heart <3

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@bruciewayneisbatman​ said:

Tim Is totally the guy who would drink ridiculous amounts of dalgona coffee to annoy damian, according to that fic.

Had to google that one, but I guess so huh

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Anonymous said:

(diff anon) but that birthday fic was so good oml and you have opened my eyes as to the batfam in quarantine this is such a Concept

We’re all here dying..... together...

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Anonymous said:

Happy birthday! 🎉 or belated! 🎂 thank you for being in the fandom. 😊

&

Anonymous said:

To anon! Sorry. I forgot to add that! Anyway, thanks to them we get a lovely fic. I hope you have many more birthdays! 😊

Message for you anon

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Anonymous said:

Your writing gives off good vibes

Hear that guys I “passed my vibe check.” Is that what the youth say these days? I am an elder now and I do not know

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Anonymous said:

finding your blog while being relatively new to batman fandom is such a bliss. your batfam content especially is *chef's kiss* amazing.

Thank you my darling :) I’m glad you’re here

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Anonymous said:

Best line in a fic? Hard to pick just one, but this particular one from "Just Desserts" by fyeahbatmanandrobin on Tumblr is one of my faves: “Anyone else would be hard-pressed to provide the particular brand of excitement you bring to my life, Dami.”

&

@noisypaintersong​ said:

For the line thing: "I don't doubt it. Bruce Wayne, the unexpectedly normal guy wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a superhero wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a fake socialite wrapped in a businessman wrapped in a secretive billionaire." He paused. "…You're the seven-layer burrito of Gotham," he pondered. - Barry to Bruce in 'Of Friends and Foes' by Paganpunk2 on FFN. It's one of the funniest things I've read someone say to Bruce LOL

& 

@kirakats​ submitted:

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Anonymous said:

“I do know that according to everyone else, there is no chance, no future, no universe where I stay a hero.” Describes my frustration with the way DC treats Damian so accurately. Let the kid be a hero dammit.

Thanks! That’s really helpful. I’ve got a decent answer to my question now. 

@kurawastaken​ submitted:

So this is Kenza retaliating against me for the milk fic. I very much hate tomatoes and specifically ketchup. This photo (1) is a nightmare and (2) fulfills its intended purpose.

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Anonymous said:

I love your blog!!!

And I love you 

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Anonymous said:

quick question: how do you think jason reconciles with the fam?? i think in the comics they kinda just reboot and now he’s on better terms. but like what conversations happened, yknow??? (you’re doin great work by the way, it rips out my heart but it’s great)

This is an amazing question, and I’ll be thinking about it for the next bit, I think. That would be a really interesting topic to explore in depth

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@angel-gidget​ said:

*hugs you real tight* would you please send this to the first 10 people in your dash? Make sure someone gets a hug today and stay safe!

Oh thank you for the hug <3

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Anonymous said:

I hadn’t been aware of that Memphis petition, but I live in Memphis too (Altho I know you said you just grew up there so you may not be living here currently haha) so ig I just wanted to say thanks for bringing it to my attention!

!!!

I’ve been in Texas for six years now, ever since I started school, but I’m still in and out of Memphis for family purposes. Love the trash heap of my birth 

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@damianwaynerocks​ said:

hey! any chance you know of any other dc heroes around damian’s age?

Sure! You could try Billy Batson, Jon Kent, or Maya Ducard

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Anonymous said:

hi! i don't know if it's okay to leave anons like these but ive been feeling down because my country has passed a bill that deprives us of lots of human rights freedom and i want you to know that i just found your blog through the damian/bruce + justice fic and it comforted me. im slowly going thru your works and so far they are all comforting. i love your stuff, thank you.

Philippines? I’ve heard some things, and I’m real sorry y’all’re going through that. I don’t know that there’s anything I could say about that to help, but I hope you’re finding joy somewhere

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@awesomeness-ofgaybitches​ said:

Tumblr hates you. The links in your bio and to your fic masterlist don't work on mobile. I'm sorry.

FUCK

[ultraclops]

Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL

[sineala]

I wanted to ask about Cpt Marvel, since we got some new info. What is her relationship with Steve and Tony in the comics? With whom she's closer? And what are your hopes for A4 and their interactions in the movies?

Currently my hope for Captain Marvel in the MCU is that we get to see her punching some Skrulls to the dulcet strains of “Head Like a Hole.” (I just want the soundtrack to be every song I ever liked on the alternative rock station in, like, 1998, plus maybe some Sleater-Kinney. I don’t think this is unreasonable, Marvel.) I want to wait and see how her solo movie is before really having any A4 hopes. Mostly my thoughts are “eeeee” and “should I wear my Ms. Marvel t-shirt or my Warbird t-shirt with my Captain Marvel hoodie to the first possible showing?”

As for the comics, I am putting lots of panels under the Read More.

The first thing you should probably be aware of is that Carol’s relationship with the Avengers in general was kind of rocky at the start and she had some terrible things happen to her in the 80s (mind control + rape + creepy alien pregnancy and childbirth, and then getting her powers stolen by Rogue and then getting dropped off the Golden Gate Bridge and left to die and, surprise, she has amnesia)  and basically the Avengers didn’t care (I told you it was terrible) and she told them to fuck off and she went to space. But they’ve patched things up a lot since then.

If Steve/Tony/Thor was the classic Avengers triumvirate, Steve/Tony/Carol is pretty much the new Avengers triumvirate, I think is the best way I can put it. All three of them are experienced heroes and good leaders who work well together on and off the field. They’re a good team, and any Avengers run where they’re all on the team is probably going to be worth checking out.

Carol’s relationship with Steve these days is generally a good one. He’s Captain America. So like most Avengers do, Carol looks to him for advice and support, and occasionally some armed-forces trash talk. You can see both of these things in Avengers: Endless Wartime:

I’m really fond of this moment back in in New Avengers v1 #15 when Carol comes to Steve for reassurance after House of M. Steve gives great hugs:

That panel was the first thing I thought of when you asked about Steve and Carol, honestly. I love it so much.

Steve is also the one who urged her to take Captain Marvel as a codename, here in Captain Marvel v7 #1:

So, yeah, she’s close enough with Steve that she does not hesitate to go to him with problems, concerns, and so on. I think it’s a really nice friendship. Camaraderie between fellow soldiers, I would say is a part of it. Steve doesn’t so much go to her with his problems in return, but that’s mostly because Steve likes to deal with his problems by (a) punching and (b) sulking.

Tony’s relationship with Carol is a little bit more complicated, both because of their shared history of alcoholism and because being Tony Stark’s friend usually means you will be called upon to prevent him from doing something stupid to himself. Probably a lot.

If you’re interested in Tony’s relationship with Carol, an absolute must-read is Busiek’s Iron Man run (IM v3 #1-25). Carol – at this time going by the name Warbird – has recently lost her Binary-level powers and has begun drinking to cope, at which point she starts failing hard at superheroing and gets kicked off the Avengers.

So in IM v3 #7 Tony starts trying to help her, because he figures, hey, he’s been there. He ends up revealing his secret identity just because he thinks he can help her:

However, this is also one of those times when wearing the armor is killing Tony, and, slightly later on, in IM v3 #12, Carol is called on to help him because he’s being an idiot flying around nearly killing himself:

And then she gives him a pep talk once he’s better:

Look how great they are! Aren’t they great?

It takes her a while to actually stop drinking – rock-bottom is her drunkenly drop-kicking Tony through an airplane in IM v3 #24 and putting an entire plane of civilians in danger:

So then in #25 she decides she’d really like to stop drinking, and Tony gets her to go to AA with him:

It’s really an excellent arc for both of them and I highly recommend it. I was under the impression that Tony is Carol’s AA sponsor, but now that I am looking I can’t find on-panel confirmation of that. If anyone knows of any, that would be great.

After Civil War, when Steve is dead, Carol is basically Tony’s one remaining actual friend, and she helps run the Mighty Avengers (the official team) with him and also provides a lot of moral support, as in Avengers/Invaders #2 here, when Tony is essentially attempting not to have a breakdown because he has to deal with a time-traveling Steve from WWII while his Steve is dead and he blames himself:

Man, I love Avengers/Invaders.

More recently in Tony and Carol’s relationship, there was Civil War II, which… yeah. Rhodey died and Carol and Tony were both sad and Carol was in favor of profiling and Tony wasn’t and Carol punched Tony into a coma and the only issue you should read is the tie-in where Justin Trudeau hugs Tony gently and tells him it’s all going to be okay. (Yes, it’s a real issue. Civil War II Choosing Sides #5.)

Okay, okay, if you’re here for Tony and Carol’s relationship, you should also read Invincible Iron Man v3 #14 – there are too many panels for me to post but the wiki has a good summary – which is about Tony and Carol both ending up at the same AA meeting accidentally and having a nice long talk about feelings. It’s probably my favorite issue in Bendis’ entire IM run.

Steve and Tony and Carol are all on the main Avengers team right now but… not much has happened and it’s really too soon to tell what the team dynamic there is like, I would say.

There’s also the recent Life of Captain Marvel #1 for some quality Carol & Tony (and Carol & Steve) content; again, you should really just read the whole thing.

Steve’s got her! And then Tony takes her to the lab, and then they have a heart-to-heart:

Man, I wish Margaret Stohl wrote Iron Man.

In answer to your question, I guess you could say she’s closer to Tony? But Tony and Steve do handle their friendships with others differently, generally speaking; the way Tony and Carol are friends is the way Tony is friends with a lot of his friends, with a heaping helping of emotional vulnerability and large amounts of feelings and/or tears. The way Steve and Carol are friends is the way Steve is friends with a lot of his friends, which doesn’t so much involve that kind of vulnerability, although Steve will be there in a heartbeat if one of his friends needs him. You can definitely see that. It’s just a different kind of friendship style, I would say.

(And of course, the way Steve and Tony are friends with each other is something terrifyingly intense and intimate that neither of them are with anyone else, period, but this is not My Steve/Tony Shipping Manifesto so I will leave it there.)

Also if you ever read Ultimates, Tony and Carol date in that universe. Unlike basically everyone else Ults Tony ever dates, she doesn’t want him dead, so that’s a big plus. (She’s not a superhero in Ults; she’s with SHIELD.)

Anyway, I hope that was what you wanted to know! Carol & Steve & Tony are THE BEST.

[sholiofic]

Guardians prompt if you're interested: Stakar pov of peter/Stakar talking to yondu about peter

Stakar had just about given up on expecting the galaxy to surprise him anymore. And now here he was, finding out that Yondu Udonta had a kid stashed away -- a grown kid, running his own merc crew.

... okay, the whole idea of any of the Ravagers having some by-blow on some planet somewhere wasn't exactly a big shock, but this was something else entirely, not a random kid that Yondu had fathered on a planet he'd never gone back to, but a kid he'd raised as his own -- and kept secret from the Ravagers, from Ego, and from the galaxy in general for twenty-five years.

Oh, sure, it wasn't a big secret that Peter Quill was a Ravager; Stakar had even vaguely heard about Yondu's disgraced faction getting involved with some fight out in the Nova Empire. (Not that he was keeping tabs on the little shit or anything.) But now the whole truth came out and it was a real kick in the gut.

It meant having to accept that he'd believed things about Yondu for the last two and a half decades that were ... well, not completely wrong, but definitely a little bit off-center. Mainly because Yondu was a close-mouthed shithead who never told anybody anything if he didn't have to. And, if Stakar was gonna be completely honest with himself (and if he wasn't, Aleta sure wouldn't hold back) he had to accept a certain amount of responsibility as well. He knew what Yondu was like, and he knew that twenty years as a Kree slave left deep, deep scars -- which meant that sometimes in order to figure out what was going on in the stubborn bastard's head, you had to kick the truth out of him.

And he hadn't done that. So here he was, with Yondu dead and Yondu's kid on his hands.

Peter Quill. Half Terran, half something else.

Stakar's first impression of him was that he didn't seem like much. But then, Quill had just lost two fathers in one day, and he'd just found out that he and Yondu's first mate were the only survivors of the Ravager clan he'd grown up in, and he'd also just had a whole pile of extended Ravager clan he'd never met dumped on him, so okay, that was gonna throw anybody off.

And he'd never had the grace or the misfortune of attending a wake for a Ravager captain. Stakar's entire ship was one big drunken party, and through it all, Stakar kept trying to corner Quill to talk to him, and having one hell of a hard time doing it. (He did find out that some of Quill's crew could party with the best of 'em, though, especially that big gray fellow and the green gal. They did have to throw the damn little rat in the brig after he tried to stab a couple of guys who started shit-talking Yondu, though.)

It took two days of narrowly missing each other, but Stakar finally tracked Quill down in one of the spare M-ships. Quill had pulled up all the telemetry so it looked like the ship was outside in the depths of space, even though it was sitting in the hangar bay of Stakar's mothership, and then he'd curled up in the pilot's chair with the music player that he never seemed to be without.

Yondu had raised himself a fuckin' weird kid.

But what it came down to was, your kid was your kid, and Stakar never would've said this (and never had a chance to prove it) but as much of a total shithead as Yondu had been, he had a pretty good idea he'd have thrown himself out an airlock for that bastard too.

So he plunked down in the copilot's chair beside Quill, poured out a glass from the bottle in his hand, and offered it across the space between them. Quill glanced at it and winced.

"No thanks. My hangovers have hangovers."

"What, they don't have booze on Terra?" It was good Xandarian brandy, laced with a hit of Knowhere spinal fluid for that extra kick. Stakar knocked back a slug.

"Sure they do, but I was eight when I left. I hadn't exactly started building up a tolerance yet."

"Yondu took ya," Stakar said, pouring himself another shot.

"Yeah, if you wanna get personal about it." Quill wrapped his fingers around the music player and tucked it against his chest. He was still wearing one of the little ear thingies; the other one was down on his shoulder, so Stakar could hear the tinny beat of whatever noise he was listening to. Quill toyed with the fallen earpiece, making moves like to put it back in. The message was clear: buzz off, jerk, I'm busy.

Good thing Stakar had never been too sharp at taking a hint.

"You pissed about that?"

"Yes ... no ... I don't know." Quill looked sullen. He sucked in a breath and reached out a hand. "If we're going to talk about this, I hope that offer of a drink's still on the table."

So basically Stakar got Yondu's kid completely trashed, and they talked about a lot of things, Yondu being the main topic. Quill was screamingly furious at the blue asshole (Stakar could relate), and coping with a soul-deep grief at the same time. They talked about Yondu; they talked about Quill's childhood; Stakar told Quill about breaking Yondu out of that Kree hell hole; and Quill told him a lot of things Stakar had never known about those missing decades after he'd cut Yondu out of the Ravager fold.

At the end of it all, he had to half-drag a limp Quill off to find a spare bunk to put him in. Terrans really weren't much for drinking, on a galactic scale. He couldn't help wondering if Yondu had ever run into that particular problem, and if he'd also had the same problem Stakar was currently having, which was an alternately belligerent and overly friendly Quill draped on his neck.

"I'm gonna be so fuckin' hung over," Quill muttered, one limp arm flopped over Stakar's shoulders and basically holding him up. "I was just gettin' over the last one. Asshole."

"It's tradition," Stakar told him, which was more or less straight-up what he'd told Yondu a really long time ago.

Quill laughed and then dropped his head onto Stakar's shoulder. He was really huggy when he got drunk, Stakar had found out the hard way. "I miss 'im," he mumbled into the collar of Stakar's Ravager coat. "God -- I miss him -- I never knew, y'know? There's so many goddamn things I shoulda said."

"You and me both, kid," Stakar told him, pouring him into the first unoccupied bunk he found. "But you know what? With you, at least, I get the feeling he knew already."

"Doesn't make up for not saying it," Quill mumbled into the tangle of blankets on the bunk.

"Nah, don't matter. Yondu was never much for talking about shit. Good luck ever tryin' to have that conversation with him."

Quill caught at the edge of Stakar's jacket and looked up with drunken earnestness. "You think he knew."

"Stake my reputation as a Ravager on it, kid."

"I like you," Quill mumbled, rolling over and trailing the hand he'd fisted in Stakar's jacket. "Good job gettin' Yondu out of the slave -- uh -- things. That's good. Thanks. Lucky he got you."

Stakar gazed down at the moplike tangle of orange-brown Terran hair submerged in a pile of blankets. Damn it. For all he knew, the kid was a shit space pirate -- but he got why Yondu had thrown over a payoff from Ego and the entire Ravager fleet for this idiot.

"Hey, Stakar! Where you want this?"

"For Krask's sake," Stakar muttered, jolted out of his thoughts, as Martinex dumped a completely shitfaced, limp space-rat-creature on him.

"He got out," Martinex said unnecessarily. "And then he got drunk again. Any ideas?"

"Hey, Quill --" Stakar began, and turned around to find that Quill had either fallen asleep or passed out.

Stakar deposited the raccoon on the edge of Quill's bunk. Rocket muttered an obscenity through a muzzle that curled in a brief snarl, then rolled over and wedged himself under Quill's arm. Quill wrapped an arm around him and burrowed into his fur.

Stakar rescued the music player and put it on a shelf above the bunk, where it wouldn't accidentally get knocked off or puked on, and left them curled up together in a tousled heap.

Yondu might be gone, but he'd raised a pretty okay kid somewhere along the way, and that wasn't a bad legacy to leave behind.

[reginaldqueribundus]

99% done with this website

i thought i’d heard every bit of misapplied stupidity this dung heap had to offer when i was told

white people aren’t allowed to cosplay as a purple space alien

drawing mr spock with slightly greenish skin is a hate crime despite the fact that he has green blood

being sexually attracted to the wrong race of alien lizard people means you support nazism

artists shouldn’t draw xmas sweaters on fictional 23rd century spacemen because the actors who play some of them (the actors, not the characters) are jewish, and anyone who disagrees is an anti semite

I also once expressed disgust/amazement that there was already a blog shipping orson krennic and jyn erso a full month before rogue one even came out, only to be told by a complete stranger that I shouldn’t “crosstag” (what?) because it’s triggering to survivors.

and then, based on my response to that fourth one, some teenage trash goblin decided to tell me i “hate jews” which i am sure will cause no end of disappointment among my numerous jewish relatives, you absolute fuckwagon.

im fed up. im tired of ignorant little “ur fav is problematic!” shit hats running around peeing on the stuff i like and calling everybody a bigot because they think their headcanon should be real and anything can be oppression if you squint hard enough. forget twitter, tumblr should be the one with the bird logo because it’s full of screeching featherbrained fucklords either squawking at the top of their lungs or parroting whatever stupid thing they heard, never once having an original thought, vomiting the same half digested discourse into each others open mouths and shitting everywhere. it plays hell with my anxiety and sucks away the energy i want to use for discussing actual issues that matter. im mostly here for fun fandom shit but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to talk about charlottesville, colonialism, perceptions of mental illness in society, hell i even want to talk about how unfair it is that batman and superman got 14 movies between them before wonder woman even got one, but im too busy defending myself to some 12 year old who says im hitler because i dont think kara zor-el is a lesbian. you think you’re doing some great thing but really you’re just trivializing the issue and ruining any chance at a serious discussion.

i joined this hell site in spite of what i’d heard about it because i thought it would be a fun easy way to share my thoughts on pop culture and couldn’t possibly be all that bad. but sweet buttery breakdancing buddha on a biplane, i was wrong. i’ve tried to stay away from it but y’all have driven me so close to just up and walking away from all my followers, my mutuals, my friends, from the one place where i get to fucking talk about star trek because its the only place where i know people who love it as much as i do. the one outlet i have, and you self fellating jack in the boxes wana ruin it for me. all because the only emotion you’re capable of feeling is the smug satisfaction of telling someone they’re wrong. god forbid anyone make an honest mistake out of genuine lack of knowledge, because some self righteous fuckbucket will appear behind them like a goddamn anime ninja to give them a lecture which they probably won’t even fucking understand because they haven’t leaped facefirst up tumblr’s cancerous, prolapsed rectum and memorized every bit of shitwit special terminology it has to offer.

you have nothing meaningful to contribute, so you take some sociopolitical concept you read about one time and start slapping it onto every book or cartoon you read/watch, regardless of whether it fits, throw in a couple of buzzwords you don’t fully understand and voila! suddenly you have an excuse to go around telling people they’re not having fun the right way, all while being immune to criticism because you’re “calling out” biphobia / ableism / whatever. if anyone disagrees with you just harass the shit out of them because let’s face it you have nothing better to do. then when they finally break down in tears and block you / get so frustrated they stop responding, you get to sit smugly in front of your keyboard and jerk yourself off thinking about what a good person you are.

i never use the term sjw because im not some transphobic assmaster from reddit or 4chan who thinks racial slurs are hilarious, but even if i did, it wouldn’t fucking apply here because you flapping circus clown labias aren’t fighting for justice. you’re only fighting for yourselves.

god help me if it wasn’t for some of y’all i’d pack my star trek shit in a hobo bindle and flip this place the bird on the way out. i love you guys. you know who you are. sorry about the rant im so tired

[ravenvsfox]

I know you have already done a lot of the ship posts (and they are all phenomenal and accurate af) but can you pretty please do Jesper and Wylan from six of crows/crooked kingdom? Xoxo

I’m SO sorry this took so long, you’re such an absolute sweetheart and also christ I’ve never been called an inspiration before holy.. god

also heck i love wesper this is a treat

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU… 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

don’t.. do this

they’re genuinely so good neither of them would ever TRY to hurt the other, and they’re both so tender and apologetic if they ever do. I think I’m gonna have to say jesper though just because. he’s still a little stirred by his addiction (to trouble! to bringing two guns to a gun fight! to gambling! to love!) and he’s got some jealousy and sensitivity baked into him, bless him. I feel like he’d run a risk and break Wy’s heart by accident, a little bit

who is emotionally stronger?

a genuine toughie bc they’ve both survived and persevered so MUCH. I think in terms of immediate reactionary instincts, Jes is better at letting bad vibes roll right off of him. He’s made of smiles. He’s trouble and a good time rolled into a waistcoat. If you insult him he only gets stronger. Wy was raised in silk and champagne but he was raised BY an absolute monster so. he’s a very bruised peach. criticism pierces him v easily. Though in a more fundamental way, wylan has fashioned his past trauma into a shield. by the end of ck he’s building himself new emotional strength with his bare hands

who is physically stronger?

ohhh man. They’re both noodle boys. Wylan is too smart for exercise. Jesper does his fighting at a 20 metre distance from his target. Jesper is bigger than wylan but most of his size is gangly and delightful and awkward. I think jes could probably still beat wylan in a pinch, but I’m more caught up in how funny it would be to see them try to fight it out

who is more likely to break a bone? 

man I’m tempted to say jesper just bc he seems like he would be...... brittle. I think he gets into scrapes a lot. I think wylan starts to get into p frequent scrapes by nature of being the sixth crow. I think the both of them are so busy worrying about each other’s fights that they neglect their own and trip off a building or smth

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

I think wylan can be a nasty piece of work when he’s pissed enough. like he may be a silk eared puppy but he’ll chew your shoes and track mud around if you forget to feed him. jesper doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body man, I think he’s a sarcasm queen and a joker but he’s definitely not mean

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

I think jesper’s constantly assuming he did something wrong and he sits down with wylan 100% serious like ‘babe.. im so, so sorry. I never wanted to be the sort of person who made you look sad like that, we’re past that, I truly made a promise--’ and wy would be like ‘what no I was sad bc a screw on my flute is loose and I couldn’t practice today’. but also yeah if it’s a serious fight they make up in a rush, and they laugh at themselves, and they use their energy for something better

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

here’s the thing about the crows man, they’re always sustaining minor injuries as a team and it’s a win if they live, right? All I can picture is the roar of activity when they pull off a job and they come back limping and bleeding and swearing and crowing w joy, and jes and wy take their seats opposite each other and clean wounds, kiss foreheads, smooth back sweaty curls, squeeze hands, make promises. the routine, u kno

who is in constant need of comfort? 

uhhh both of them (it’s always both my guy jot that down). Wylan has 16 years of shitty imposed self loathing to unlearn, and traumatic experiences all over him. jes has lost a lot (including his mom) and he struggles with addiction so like. yeah they both need comfort. they both wake up w the phantom feeling of a mother’s arms around their shoulders. they’ve both seen the very worst of humanity. They’re just two nervy, high stress kids trying to figure things out

who gets more jealous? 

lmao WYLAN VAN ECK did y’all read his scenes in crooked kingdom that boy is NOT SHARING. he glared real holes in kuwei’s head guys. jesper tbh is a terrible flirt and a HANDFUL and wylan is happy. to have his hands full. no one else.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

mmm nahhh

who will propose? 

u bet ur ASS it’ll be jesper. Imagine wylan’s blushing face...... he’d do it for that alone. tbh there’s probably a point in their relationship where jesper’s outrageous flirting isn’t enough to get that pretty blush from wylan like he’ll roll his eyes and shove jes in the shoulder and w/e but they have to have increasingly ridiculous conversations about kinks or w/e until that blush comes out. jesper’s like ‘dang. guess I gotta step up the romance. what’s the most romantic thing? marriage? marrying wylan? son absolutely where do i sign’

who has the most difficult parents?

lmao lm a o lmaooo Lmao LMAO lmao

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

I feel like depending on the social climate of Ketterdam, hand holding might not be on the table?? especially for two criminals associated w the bastard of the barrel like idk man I can’t picture it. they don’t want to draw attention to themselves (well i mean. jes wants to. but they can’t). I think they’re all about sly glances and the most obvious smirks you’ve ever seen, and brushing shoulders!! brushing shoulders are their makeouts

who comes up for the other all the time? 

they’re always together man bf’s that blow shit up together and live together stay together so like they rarely have the opportunity to talk about each other. howEVER jesper probably mentions his boyfriend in the middle of a hand of poker w an inappropriate smile or gushes to w/e prisoner he’s breaking out of jail or makes Kaz’s day weird by trying to confide in him

who hogs the blankets? 

wylan is exhausted w luxury and jesper is a child who wants to be held so he rolls over and then over again so that wy always wakes up to a lapful of boyfriend and a roll of blankets and he has to wait for jesper’s heavy sleeper ass to arise so he can get up to pee 

who gets more sad? 

booooth -- jesper is understated sad with a side of unnerving frowns, wylan is a wobbling mouth and clenched fists. Sometimes they stay in the Wylan Van mansion and lock the doors so the maids can’t come in, and they bring the lavish decorative pillows into a heap on the carpet and feed each other sweets and rub each others backs and laugh and laugh the darkness away. wylan sketches. jesper poses. there’s scheming & kaz impressions. jesper is a storyteller and he imagines out loud what nina or inej are up to at that very minute, controlling gravity and hearts and the sea and their lives 

who is better at cheering the other up? 

see above ^^ they both go pro at the comfort olympics. Jesper is that little bit better though. He’s a sweetheart with all the right words in his pockets. He knows how to chop wylan’s dad down like the overgrown dead tree that he is. he knows how to flirt a smile onto wy’s face. he maybe lacks delicacy sometimes, but he’s so fun and wholehearted and warm that he can’t really go wrong

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this is canon y’all, jesper is a lecherous bastard and wylan is equal parts disdain and delight. he absolutely will slap a boy

who is more streetwise?

god bless wylan but he knows a hell of a lot less about the streets than jes. He’s learning fast by the end of ck, but he’s still very sheltered in a lot of ways. Jesper has a few years under his belt, and he’s.. like tbh he’s a part of a gang so. He’s seen a lot. He’s participated in a lot. He has a pretty steep list of kills, same as every other survivor out there. He’s detached from the deaths but he’s been on the other side of a lot of bullets that have crumpled people up and thrown them in the trash. He knows his business, too. He knows Ketterdam. Well. Wy knows the half of it Kaz wants him to see.

who is more wise?

Wylan is utterly brilliant and Jesper is wholeheartedly here for it. What was that line again? ‘you’re cuter when you’re smart’? Wylan can think his way out of just about anything, the world belongs to him. jsyk

who’s the shyest? 

Wylan absolutely what a sweetie. I mean a lot of it stems from unfortunate self esteem issues and a history of being burnt but a lot of it is pure soul deep candy sweet embarrassment and not knowing what to do w his own cute face. He doesn’t know how to deal w people a lot of the time. he knows sheet music & formulas. he does not know how to look at a boy with beautiful lips all curled up at him and not pass out

who boasts about the other more? 

jesper is loudmouthed usually and he’s that much more loudmouthed when he’s in love, catch him talking to anyone who will listen about wy’s stupid face 

who sits on who’s lap? 

jesper would definitely try it, don’t even test him, he would fold all his crane limbs into wylan’s lap and say ‘hello peaches’ and wylan would have to slide both of them onto the floor to escape his embarrassment. on a good day, jes’ll scoop wylan into his lap and he’ll feel quiet, for a while