#im not gonna fucking apologize
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carry-on-my-wayward-butt · 2 years ago
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having a child has taught me that every toddler is completely justified in their frustrations and tantrums because learning how to do something you have literally never encountered or heard of before is insane. and being expected to be completely calm in the face of this constant barrage of overwhelming information is doubly insane.
i got charlie a sticker activity book and it occurred to me i have to TEACH someone how to unpeel stickers. it's SKILL that requires DEXTERITY and FINE MOTOR ABILITY. i thought it was obvious that you have to curl the page a little bit to create a break in the cut so the sticker comes up.
obviously a fucking BABY wouldn't know that because they have no background experience to inform their thought process. OBVIOUSLY. and OBVIOUSLY the LITERAL BABY wouldn't get it right the first few times. it would OBVIOUSLY take practice. lots of it.
i hate this feeling. it's so obvious. why are children treated so badly when they're learning everything for the first fucking time. why do people treat children so horribly and expect so much. they're brand new. why didn't i get the same grace i give to my child? why did no one have patience for me? why, when it's this easy?
it's so easy. it's so fucking easy.
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starry-bi-sky · 2 months ago
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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moeblob · 3 months ago
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North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)
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caligvlasaqvarivm · 2 months ago
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Do you think if the trolls all came back, like everything in the main comic did happen and they were alive again. Do you think Feferi would actually forgive Eridan? Or want to even be his friend after everything? I don't personally like the erisol and fefertasprite interaction…felt rushed…..so I just wanted to know your opinion if things were different! :)
Yeah, I think they would be! Feferi is one of the trolls who takes dying the least badly (relentless optimism) and Eridan does genuinely feel bad, which means a lot when it's Eridan. I think she really is genuine when she says she wants them to be friends and also that she's really not the type of person to hold a grudge, and like... death is SUPER cheap in Homestuck, it's really not the horrific, irredeemable, irreperable damage that it is IRL - and if you're talking about (Feferi) and (Eridan), then they're both dead (and irrelevent) now, so the score is kind of even.
In general, the fandom - I mean, people in general, really - tend to have difficulty divorcing themselves from other people. We tend to assume that the people and characters they like will hold similar opinions to themselves. This is how people who like Karkat and don't like Eridan can mentally gloss over or even block out their clear, close friendship, or how people who dislike Cronus can end up overlooking that Meenah actually takes his opinion seriously and unironically defends his wizard thing. Feferi really isn't mad at Eridan or upset about dying the way we probably would be, because she's friends with the horrorterrors, relentlessly cheerful, comfortable with death in general, and death is also just not really that big of a deal in this setting. "I'm really sorry about that, that was shitty of me" is honestly probably all the apology she needs, especially if they came back to life anyway.
#i dunno in general the fandom loves to blow stuff up#and make it all way way angstier than it needs to be or was even shown to be#by all accounts feferi takes dying really well#im sure shes still not STOKED to be eridan's friend again but out of all her faults#holding long unreasonable grudges isnt really one of them#(that's a kanaya thing actually)#eridan's always gonna be an annoying pest to her in large doses but i think she basically thinks of him as a friend#also eridan responds to problems overwhelmingly with Fight#so this idea that eridan will be forever mopey and angsty also doesnt ring true to his character#if anything i can see him becoming annoying again because now he won't stop fucking apologizing#like bro chill its fine already oh my god why is everyt)(ing suc)( a PRODUCTION wit)( you#because thats the last point too like#homestuck always returns to humor#hussie even says in the book commentary that homestuck is lighthearted and comedic at its core#that it keeps returning to that as a touchstone#even during its tensest moments like murderstuck theres just constant funnies and gags#so i just end up going kinda :/ when an interpretation is purely maudlin or cathartic#like its more homestuck when its funny and characters treating murder with the same gravitas as irl#not only doesnt make sense in universe where death is cheap - ESPECIALLY for trolls#but also just doesn't really feel very homestuck to me#but that is 100% personal taste so if you like that stuff by all means keep enjoying it lol#you just arent going to get uber angst from me u_u
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chesthighwater · 2 months ago
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guy who wants to be emperor SO FUCKING BAD but isn't and has to actively conspire to get there. guy who is in cahoots with him and refers to him as emperor/your highness/my lord/other unearned royal titles in private- perhaps as a show of loyalty, or ingratiation, or certainty in their mutual success, or just 5d chess manipulation. and also it is a sex thing i mean you get me you see my vision
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crystallizsch · 9 months ago
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what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuc
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HELLO MISTER JAMIL VIPER SIR WHAT THE FUCK
A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME PLEASE
AND SHOWING OFF THAT WAIST WHY IS IT SOOOOOOO
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ALSO HIS HAIRR???? OH MY GOD???????
I LOWKEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT SINGULAR BRAID IN FRONT OF HIS FACE???? I HAVE THE URGE TO PULL ON IT
BUT SIR THAT MAKEUP THAT LOOK ON HIS FACE??????????? AUILDKHGKLASDG LJFKLKSM IM GOING TO COMBUST
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IM FUCKINFKLDSJFLKLSA
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jamil what the fuck
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jajanvm-imbi · 4 months ago
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Hey remember when I said that this was the most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer?
Yeah I was wrong.
The most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer is explicitly stating multiple times that I like show and then get called an anti and homophobic and media illiterate when I complain about the direction it has taken.
I LIKE the comedy
I LIKE the animation and artstyle
I LIKE the more serious plotlines like the government agents plot and the Cherubs plot
I LIKE the themes of friendship and found family
I even like most of the songs!
And ofc the voice cast slays every time
But just because your show has angst and tears and drama and sad music doesn't automatically make it "good".
Just because your characters are queer doesn't automatically make them good or well written characters
This fandom is so frustrating to deal with when you want to express your more nuanced takes of it
This is probably gonna be the last post I make about this subject and about Helluva Boss in general, this shit is too stupid to deal with
#still cant get over how i got called an anti and homophobic and media illiterate for saying:#'damn i wish the comedy show written by comedians had more comedy in it'#you can absolutely 100% write a comedy show with a more serious plot thread running through the whole thing#some of the most memorable and popular animated shows are just that#you got Gravity Falls The Owl House the Tales of Arcadia trilogy She-Ra ATLA etc....#fuck it even the first few seasons of Voltron for crying out loud#but the problem im having with HB is that its not a comedy with a serious plot thread anymore#its all drama all tears all angst with the occasional joke thrown in here and there#most of the shows I mentioned start off with episodic comedic adventures with hints towards the more serious stuff here and there#but the Stolitz drama started in the FIRST EPISODE#(in my opinion) the best eps of s1 are the ones that have little to nothing to do with Stolitz when we're given time to get to know the team#because we got to have FUN first we got to see the team dynamic in action#if the “serious plot thread” in HB was Blitz's relationships why didnt he apologize to Moxie and Millie in Apology Tour? or Loona?#or his FUCKING SISTER??????#the government agents and the Cherubs plotline makes x100 more sense as a serious plot thread for the premise of the series anyway#i could go on and on about this but I wont cause Im tired of thinking about this#this is stupid#im gonna ENJOY HB when I can#but that doesn't mean that there arent SERIOUS narrative issues with the series#and if you enjoy Stolitz good for you#peace and love#but its not something I can overlook#helluva boss#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique
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thosedamnedghouls · 5 months ago
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your kid (from an alternative universe) falls asleep on the floor while waiting for you to come home and you had a little bit of a tough time on patrol so you gotta hug the kid even if it wakes him and makes him grumble
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brainworms-all-night-long · 17 days ago
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WELL‼️ I DID IT FELLAS‼️TWo chapter!!! And things happen!!! Please do enjoy my second longest cohesive piece of text that I very much enjoyed putting together <3
Maybe the ugly duckling was never actually ugly, maybe the people around it just sucked. —— My own version of the Prime Bros universe — a tumblr concept I'd love to thank @/000marie198 for deeply integrating into my belief system — that is about the Shatterverse foxes (Nine, Sails, Mangey and Tails) getting to actually know each other and living together in Green Hill getting up to all kinds of shenanigans. Of course in this fic it will actually take some time to get to that with its own unterpretation on things, and a bunch of my headcannons thrown in. So for now it's just Nine trying to fit into a new and completely alien enviroment and dealing with one version of himself at a time
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aadmelioraa · 2 years ago
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s4 tomshiv is murdering me...the tension is so peak, matthew macfadyen and sarah snook have so much fucking chemistry, the history between tom and shiv is more dynamic and layered with every line of dialogue, they're insane, i'm insane, never has the line between love and hatred, desire and disgust, been more fluid, i'm going to gnaw off my own arm...thank you and goodnight
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xxplastic-cubexx · 18 days ago
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take Charles to the Paralympics
grandpa gonna demolish the competition 😼
he doesnt even need to use his telepathy to read what his opponents are gonna do next to dominate the game grandpa's just Him
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just-null · 1 year ago
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i've always wanted to try out this trend! i didnt think i drew him that different. i was wrong. very wrong.
hes so baby girl in my style what the fuck. oh i know, i was just drawing what gege meant to draw. dw, i got his telepathic brainwaves 👍
[time lapse + my headcanons for Noritoshi's appearance under the cut]
some headcanons i have while drawing him are semi obvious while others are bc i like it ahehahhaheha
cupid's bow lips! this was semi inspired by Mizuki Umetsu, the actor for Noritoshi in the jjk stage play! hes so. pretty. perfect guy for the role imo! i was captivated therefore my views changed.
longer hair! the thought that his bangs(? are the same length, or longer, as the rest of his hair is nice.. it also makes his inevitable haircut much more refreshing! i also just like long hair and its a fucking waste not to do whatever the i want.
thicker brows and visible eyelashes! i naturally draw thicker eyebrows because it looks pretty, but the eyelashes is so fucking canon bro. dont even fight me on this, you'll lose. i read a fic about Noritoshi where it said he took good care of himself and his appearance inspired jealousy. that fucked me up man, so now i draw him as beautiful as i can.
monolids! I've looked through the manga and i think its highly implied that Noritoshi has monolids? yk those lines in between the eye and eyebrow, he doesnt have them in the manga. i thought it was because of the expressions he had, but no. the others have them, except geto! so geto also having monolids is so fr in my head. i like that feature abt him.
loose hairs! the hairs that i draw on his face. they make him look so cute and a bit more relaxed. he's not trying to be perfect nor have a single strand out of place. he's just a bit more at ease... though if there's something important he has to go through, he sharpens up. becomes.. stiffer?
I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE HIS CHEST LOOK A BIT BIGGER IN MY STYLE AND I WANT TO APOLOGIZE, BUT I'D BE A LIAR. DOES THIS COUNT AS A HEADCANON??? I JUST THINK... SINCE. YK. HES AN ARCHER. AND DOES TRAINING. AND COMBAT. AND DOES ALL THOSE HIGH JUMPS... HIS CHEST. ITD BE A BIT BIGGER FOR HIS STATURE.. omfg. that'd imply that his legs are fucking insane. and his arms too, since he has to pull back all those arrows so quickly.. oh my fuck. this. this is a revelation. what are you hiding under those robes noritoshi...???? one day.. one day we'll see...
oh my fucking god i forgot that i wrote shit while drawing. please ignore my fucking stupid writings AND THE STUPID ASS THING IN THE MIDDLE I FORGOT ABT WHILE DRAWING..
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 9 days ago
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i realized they had the same birthday (dec 21st) so i was like "yoooo i should draw them together"
silly bonus:
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#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#utau#utauloid fanart#utau fanart#根音ネネ#nene nene#nene nene utau#oliver vocaloid#oliver vocatone#oliver maghni ai#i guess??? because that's his maghni ai design? chose it for fun and for color/composition purposes ig (slightly more yellow? and details)#don't know how to tag this... and since yuki only appears in the bonus doodle idk if i should really tag her#i don't actually know if oliver would be scared of nene or not aksjhgk that little guy doesnt seem scared by most things#but i just thought it would make for a funny side doodle so thats why its there lol#potential successor to the kagamines/iku doodle? in a way maybe... i should find more vsynths that share bdays and draw them together#fun fun fun... ofc its not the exact same day and year like tho iku and the kagamines tho (which is crazy); nene came out in 2009#but ya. showing penance in some way because i was too depressed to draw anything for oliver's bday last year lmao 😭 im sorry my boy#i mean i did do that shitty short meme video which i almost completely forgot abt but that doesnt counttt im talking art piece#this piece was gonna look way more different originally but i couldn't get it to look right so i went for something simpler#cause i was running out of time... and also experimented a little since this one's weird in that i did the colors first rather than lines#then did lines based on the colors and cleaned up the coloring after. and i was gonna add some more stuff to bg but got tired rip#so yeah maybe its a bit simple for my liking but im too tired to redo this again. i had to resize it bc i accidentally made og file huge#and it just wouldnt upload to tumblr lmaoo so apologies if the quality got crunched#IVE BEEN WAITING ALL FUCKING DAY TO POST THIS AND THE OTHER SHIT HAHAHAHEH... i couldve scheduled them but NOOo... oliver day
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biblicallyaccuratetrain · 8 months ago
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As someone who loves to watch internet drama that i have no stakes in. kinda disappointed the watcher apology is apparently good
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mintaikk · 6 months ago
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DID WE JUST END WITH 2 STOLITZ HEARTBREAKS???
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wish-i-were-heather · 2 months ago
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my mom literally cant accept that shes wrong 😭😭
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