#im not gonna be one of those ppl who's never made a tv show but thinks she could do better than seasoned writers/directors lollll
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just watched mando s3 it’s great that we TOTALLY had a whole season about din coming to grips with being mand’alor & life without grogu and about dueteragonist bo-katan coming to realise she was only trying to lead mand’alor bc of her sister not bc she thought she was the best leader. and the whole season centred around the theme of accepting who you really are even if you’re certain you’re something else and was about how heroes and leaders can come from anywhere, they don��t have to come from a special bloodline (a sorta thesis against the skywalker saga) and about the uniting power of grief and oppression. isn’t it great we had that instead of a season with no plot
isn’t it great that there were no mando cameos in tbobf and mando season 3 started with him on a bounty, cringefailing at using the darksaber and stabbing himself but he did the job and got paid in a nubian starfighter (he wanted a razor crest but he’s injured so he doesnt argue much) which he then used to find his covert on the canyon planet. then he revealed to the armorer and paz that he had the darksaber which after some time leads to paz duelling din for the saber (without telling the others bc they dont know din has it) and din wins but its revealed he took his helmet off. he’s made apostate IN FRONT OF EVERYONE (EVERYONE!!) with only one IMPOSSIBLE chance of redemption (nobody can go to mandalore anymore!!) and has to leave and now has nothing — no child, no clan. so he does the only thing he can think to and goes to a green planet we’ve never seen before. he lands safely but still injured from his fight with Paz and not fully healed from the original injury he passes out. and the episode ends with a kid running over and telling another kid to call master skywalker
and sure episode 2 was the fanservice episode but its disney! we have to expect a marketable plushie cameo episode — except of course that didn’t mean it wasn’t plot relevant! din wakes up and we realise he’s at luke’s jedi academy and this is great n stuff we finally get to see luke in his prime teaching a whole bunch of students! and we get to see grogu happy and having fun with his kind (which makes din happy but miss his own covert). luke notices din has a saber himself (despite it being well-hidden — luke can sense it) and din admits he can’t use it and that he doesnt think it even belongs to him while luke shows him saber forms (but pretends its for his own training and not din’s bc din refuses to learn). they have a discussion and din reveals he came here bc he got kicked out and has no way to redeem himself bc there are no mines left and even then the planet’s poisonous. luke spouts some jedi stuff asking din if he’s certain and says blind certainty is the enemies of hope and progress or whatever (setting up the larger theme of identity certainty in the season). luke also points out that if they imps r there then they have to have some way of getting around the environment they caused. inspired and knowing grogu is safe here, din is ready to go redeem himself on mandalore. he says he’ll come to see grogu again and luke makes it clear that while attachments can’t get in front of duty, din is always welcome here <3
episode 3 of course had din go to the ruins of mandalore to redeem himself, inspired by luke’s words about certainty he goes to the ruins of sundari, where he knows there was once living waters (the other option is the one surviving and imperial-controlled city, but he’s not that dumb). also bc the imps only hang around the cities so that must be where it's survivable. there’s some imperials about the edge of the city (not many) and he does have to subtly fight them but he gets spotted. he wins but he’s panicking bc during the fight his breathing system got hit but then he notices a plant growing. and he realises he’s not dying — the air isn’t poisonous anymore or whatever! so he turns off his failing life support and goes to the city. he explores the city and finds many remnants of mandalorian culture there in the small parts that survived. ash-covered murals, mostly-burnt toys, something that could have once been a palace. he finds a memorial to a duchess satine kryze and thinks huh like bo katan? (because of course the show wouldn’t ignore bo’s motivations) anyway after some slow but meaningful exploring (its quietness eerie, unlike the quietness of the previous stealth section) he manages to make his way below the city. he finds the mines, reads the inscription and then goes in. except of course its no longer shallow and he falls and he falls and he realises well fuck he’s gonna die. his life support got hit earlier and he doesnt have his jetpack he’s going to sink. but then in the darkness, a great looming eye opens and before din knows it, SOMETHING is throwing him out that sinking water. it had to have been a freak current right? he was hallucinating. surely a MYTHOSAUR didn’t just save him… those are all dead, only to return with a new age of mandalore! he shakes his head, ignores it, and collects the water with something new to bring to his people
episode 4 reintroduced us to old fan favourite bo katan in her depression girl era bc din shows up to her empty palace ready to help her take back mandalore… only to find her in a depression pit and— oh my god is she drunk??! she drops that her ppl left her bc she didn’t have the darksaber and din’s looking at the depression pit like. right. bc of the darksaber. he briefly tries to convince her to fight him for it but she’s like no you’ll throw the fight it won’t be true comba— oh no! explosion nearby bc looks like din wasn’t as careful as he thought and the imperials followed him to bo’s place so both of them have to fucking skeet outta there and bo’s home’s destroyed so din’s like hey come on let’s go to my people we can take back mandalore with them or smthn. so they head back to the covert, din reveals he’s no longer apostate and that mandalore isnt cursed it’s breathable + you can successfully walk on the surface now. this is however interrupted by a beast showing up and trying to kill some ppl. it almost kills paz’s son but din kills the beast first in his starfighter. anyway back to the conversation (now within the cave) and din’s trying to convince his clan that they can take back mandalore (with bo as leader) but none of them want to follow her or risk what few numbers they have left. dejected, din and bo make to leave again, but paz follows them out and is like ?? din you literally have the darksaber why didn’t you use it to get at least SOME of them to follow you and din’s like i don’t want people to follow me bc of a legend, if they follow me it has to be bc they want to and paz and bo r internally like wow damn. anyway paz then says he’ll always fight w din if needed bc he saved his son but if he wants the people to follow him they should try get some of the other clans to help so it looks less dangerous. so bo and din leave on their quest. also throughout this episode, we’re introduced to some random civilian in the reintegration program. its implied they worked with gideon and that they’re preparing for something, but we don’t get much more than that.
episode 5 is the bo episode, this is where we explore her character, have her arc, and ya know really cover her motivations (bc disney would NEVER make it so her motivation is invisible unless you’d seen two other tv shows). din and bo head to where her clan is. they just want to see the clan but they end up being dragged into a b-plot about helping the local pacifist duchess (& duke). din tries to say no but bo-katan says smthn abt diplomacy. this quest initially doesn’t seem plot relevant but throughout bo opens up about her own pacifist duchess sister and she comes to realise how much of this quest has been about trying to live up to satine and not bc she thinks herself the best mand’alor. the thing she said abt diplomacy earlier, she reveals, is just a quote from her sister. anyway they’re finally able to go to bo’s old clan and she, now reinvigorated in accepting and knowing who she is and what she wants (no longer depression girl) challenges axe for leadership of the clan. she wins and in a speech is like we’re gonna retake unpoisonous mandalore by uniting the clans!! most agree but theyre like HOW are we supposed to convince the other clans? and it descends into insane yelling UNTIL a low hum and a black-white light falls over the group. silence falls. everyone looks on. high above his head, din is holding the darksaber (proudly!!) and he’s like we’ll unite them with this. but axe has to constantly be chatting shit and getting up from the floor where he got his ass whipped he’s like really???? you wanna follow him???? he doesn’t even have any mandalorian blood in him!!! and bo makes a great speech about blood doesn’t make a good leader what makes a good leader is knowing when to use your power. and then she’s like he is my mand’alor amen and kneels before him. everyone else follows and din awkwardly stands there still not fully accepting his role
episode 6 was the great prep episode. we start with din and bo helping and getting a new tribe on their side and heading back to Concordia we realise they’ve got this HUGEEEE war camp of mandalorians!! there are so many clans with them now (except one, which din is really missing)!!!!! this episode mostly focuses on mandalorian culture and them training/ planning and din and bo trying to keep the clans from biting each other’s heads off. but this is interrupted when a small group of imperials try to pre-attack them (like they did w bo’s palace) but the mandos all manage to fight back and take them down, which then leads to a whole speech from din and bo about how mandalorians are all fighting but theyre united now in their grief and with this they can fight the empire. the b-plot of the episode comes back to that random civilian from episode 4 and whoomp turns out their plan was to BREAK MOFF GIDEON OUT OF JAIL!! shitttt!!!! oh no!! he’s back now, that’s gonna make their very decent plan to take back mandalore harder but they dont knowww (irony!)
episodes 7 and 8 were the battle of mandalore, woo! it had to be two episodes because it’s a taking whole occupied planet and not a single base, a pretty damn difficult task that definitely can’t be done by two single clans in like 40 minutes! there’s all those mini tiny bases scattered throughout the planet on the ruins (like din encountered in episode 3) AND more importantly there’s the one domed city that the imperials kept alive as their main base — which means they have to be careful, bc they can’t do any sort of aerial assault or great deal of damage to the imperials without also destroying the one surviving place for them to live. so the plan is smaller strike teams to go the bases plopped around the planet as a distraction and to stop reinforcements to the city while the main force surround the city and take it. the first city team (with din and bo) has to open up all the ports and stuff to allow the HUGE armies to get in. unfortunately this is in the main imp base in the centre of the city so they have to get there. (they’d prefer 2 strike teams but they can only spare 1) MOST of the mini-bases r meanwhile being successfully captured. the strike team gets to the centre to de-activate the port shielding n stuff and GASP! IT’S GIDEON!! FROM JAIL!! and he’s surrounded by fucking MANDO STORMTROOPERS and IN BESKAR ARMOUR oh no!! ambush!! he knew they’d have to go here to allow a full-scale assault! the small strike team at sundari also gets captured bc there were some mandotroopers there (they increased security post episode 3). episode 7 ends on a cliffhanger bc all seems lost and the strike team’s surrounded
episode 8 starts straight off the cliffhanger and oh no they’re all gonna die gasp WHEN BAM fighting noises elsewhere, everyone’s confused, when paz’s voice crackles over din’s comm like hey bro! BC DIN’S CLAN FINALLY SHOWED UP TO HELP AND THEY WERE ABLE TO MAKE THAT SECOND STRIKE TEAM and in the confusion din & bo’s team take out the mandotroopers, gideon gets away. din and paz and the armorer come face to face and paz calls him mand’alor or smthn bc he’s also accepted it and they’re like woo let’s go now we can fight fr!! din heads to help lead the battle ig but bo’s like nah i have to end gideon for what he did to our planet. and din’s like well he’s wearing beskar armour so you’ll need this and gives her his beskar spear WHICH IS SYMBOLIC BC he’s finally giving up his other weapon and is going to solely use the darksaber!! he’s accepted who he is and is going to lead their ppl!! so yeah instead of having din fight gideon, who he already beat once, bo fights him and its incredibly cathartic. at sundari that strike team who got captured is also not looking great but MYTHOSAUR EX MACHINA COMES AND FUCKS UP THE IMPERIALS THERE (its returned!!). so big battle and gideon’s down and the darksaber DOESN’T get destroyed yay! afterwards they all vibe and they go to the forge and the armorer relights it and they proclaim din mand’alor fr and he accepts it and throne. sure he's still a BIT uneasy (mand'alor the reluctant anyone?) but he's not saying NOO now loll. yayyy!! AND THEN final scene is din returns to the jedi academy like hii thanks for ur advice u were right being blindly certain abt stuff is meh and leaves no room for hope. uh could i show grogu mandalore i promise i’ll bring him right back and it ends on din showing grogu the planet finally bc thats cute and fanservice
anyway isn’t it great this is exactly what happened, it’s all canon and definitely not the stealingpotatoes sequels canon continuity rewrite!
#hot girls finally watch a show and then immediately sit down and make 2.5k words of a rewrite LOL#while having a fever!#mand'alor din djarin#potes wrotes#(ish)#the mandalorian s3#mandalorian season 3#IM NOT SAYING I COULD DO BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL WRITERS like i get they have very different circumstances to me n stuff w execs etc#but i did try to write this while considering what would make good/marketable tv not just what would make a solely good plot#im not gonna be one of those ppl who's never made a tv show but thinks she could do better than seasoned writers/directors lollll#this is lichrally me trying to make my accidental redo continuity work with s3 LMAO#its also messy as hell bc i wrote it in one sitting and its not a proper piece of writing. there r plot holes but i think less than og#actually if there r any problems im blaming my fever <3#mandalorian s3 rewrite#the sswscc
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latam swiftie here
I'm not on tik tok so idk what's going on there. The math side of the easter eggs has got a bit out of hand and they don'tknow what they're talking about. And I agree with you on "not needing an announcement to make it special". I feel this is kind of similar to when ppl complain about the surprise songs they got. I would have never chosen Labyrinth!! And I got it and loved every second of it!! It's special because it was my surprise song, not the other way around.
I didn't believe we'd get an announcement tonight until her dancers started posting black hearts. But my favourite thing would be for her to just play foolish one.
I'm super grateful for the shows, I got to see the mashup, it was insane and I loved every second of it. I had been waiting for over a decade for this so it meant everything to me. I am not expecting her to do anything other than show up at the announced time and perform (as long as weather and health allows her to).
I waited 3 years between 1989 and rep, im not expecting releases this often. No one was expecting 1989 tv right after speak now (I certainly wasn't expecting it until early next year the soonest). But she did announce it and it did happen. Thats just why it's not that crazy to think of an announcement this soon. It just hurts to see everyone calling us ungrateful. Over 17 years we only got 3 tour dates. And we're so so grateful for it, we tried to show her that with the "we will stay" fan project. I screamed so loud every single lyric I damaged my vocal chords and it took me a week to recover. People are still making edits, friendship bracelets, they're gathering in the parks and doing swiftie meetups, today I gave two fbs away on the subway!!
The reasons why I believe she won't come back are market-related and financial, but the whole T4F fiasco didn't help at all. The local producer (T4F) is responsible, not the stadium (Im saying this bc i saw this confusion a lot, here those are two different companies, I believe in the US it's the same one).
I understand and agree with what you said, I just want you to know we're very grateful for what we got. (and I didn't think you were rude). In all honestly, the feeling I got from everyone in that crowd was excitement and wanting to be a part of something this big. We didn't want to show anything other than support and love. I heard exactly 0 people complain we didn't get an announcement (but I'm not on tik tok so i might be wrong lol)
And no, we're not really a part of this whole thing the same way everyone (the US, Europe and even parts of Asia/Oceania) is. But I'm not gonna complain because at least we got tour dates. There are lots of places who got no tours dates at all (African swifties you're in my heart). I obviously understand she can't please the entire world and that there are financial decisions to be made!! She's a human and a business woman and I understand. But it does mean we get left aside (again! This is a world/capitalism problem where poorer countries get less chances in general and I'm not expecting Taylor to solve this).
Im sorry, this is so long. Im just trying to say that this is a reality (a sad one), that we understand it exceeds her 100%, and are grateful she toured this year. But that in the bigger picture, we're not a part of things like "the rest of you" and I believe thats where this whole rep tv thing is coming from. It doesn't mean we're not super grateful she took a chance on us and visited this year 😊
Thank you for reading and answering. I know you didn't have to. I really hope you enjoy the last show of 2023 :)
hi, please forgive me for a not good response as i’m tired and focusing on my breathing right now.
but thank you again for responding and explaining more about the financial aspect. and i’m so sorry if i ever implied latam swifties were ungrateful, i never meant to or ever thought that as everything i’ve seen has been nothing but overwhelming love and support from latam, and i really really hope she you’re there again because it’s clear the fans love her and i want her to just be able to be with fans and people who love the music. and the fact you guys are still doing friendship bracelet exchanges is insane and i love it!
and i do think she plans on releasing all of the taylor’s versions on the tour and she wanted to hit certain dates, which is why she announced speak now and 1989 so close together. i think we’ll get reputation sometimes early next year (late january or february ((but i think february is more accurate))) and debut a bit closer to the end of the tour.
and i’m not going and sit here and say you’re apart of this tour just as much as any other location is, because again i’m an american so no matter what i’m not going to understand what it’s like in latam. but i really hope it doesn’t feel like you’re apart if this differently than anyone else, this tour is a monumental moment in taylor’s life and career and the fact she’s able to go to so many locations (especially for the first time) is so massive and big in of itself. an album announcement is a special thing but it doesn’t make the tour or anything about the night any less special.
again, im sorry if this isn’t the best response, but i do hope that you have a good night 🫶🏻
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This is more of a vent blog.
Im pretty sure that nobody would read these posts and I think it would be better for others' minds as well if they don't read it. No pressure tho if u do want to traumatise urself.
Im not really sure why ive made this blog myself. Just that my mind runs wild at night and I just have a need to get rid of it so this is a way I try to make myself better.
Idk if I need an introduction considering that nobody would read this blog but if u do wanna know me just DM ig idk. Also idk whether I should mention this or not but I'm a guy if that really matters to u. I don't want ppl sending nudes tho. I hope u respect that.
Lately I've been feeling like I've been changing in ways that aren't really good. There's been this massive shift in environments lately for me and I remember that before I used to be very fun and energetic and very social. I've always been an introvert regardless and it's not that I'm not fun now just that I feel like I'm not able to connect with ppl the way I used to before. I'll just call this change of environments as a 'canon' (yeah ik it sounds very across the spiderversey but I'm not getting any other name in my head so imma just call it that)
It's not that before the canon, things were perfect. Ibe always had shitty mental health ever since COVID started. I was very deeply in love with this girl who was my best friend. I met her in middle school and honestly she wasn't the most attractive girl in the class but I was emotionally broken when I met her because my very own friends had betrayed me and I was finding it difficult to trust literally anyone. When all hopes for making any sort of friendship were lost, she entered my life. I was innocently but deeply in love with her. I never really told her that I felt that way for her because I had self image issues and I didn't want to lose the only friend that I really had. Maybe if I did risk it then things would've turned out different for me. But that very year she shifted abroad and I was like "fuck what just happened". She kinda did heal me from what I was going through and got me to an extent where I could at least believe in myself that I wasnt completely unlovable. Things went well for an year, I entered high school. Made couple of friends who were rarely guys because of the massive distrust I had in them. I was pretty accepted despite that tho. Like it might sound odd to many for a guy to ba part of a friend grp which is filed with girls but it never felt that way for me. Im pretty sure the other guys just kept thinking that I'm gay or I had low testosterone and what not but well Idrc as long as I'm protecting myself. And then boom COVID hit everything went online and I started to go onto social media platforms to stay in touch with ppl. That's when I got close to her again and this time, we got much more closer. She had some shitty friends abroad which made her to value those more back in her hometown. Which meant shed spend more time with me and her other friend whom we had a trio with. Well her other friend had always been along in my life and just that it's after I met her that I started to acc get close to her friend as well. Im gonna give these characters dummy names later but for now all u need to know is that we got close. It might feel like everythings going good but well life is like a tv show with small advertisement break like moments of happiness. And the break was over. I got a little too attached to her and fucked things up in short but we still stayed friends somehow. Things got toxic but her friend at times would seem manipulative of her and I realised that I was not the only toxic one here. This caused a lot of mental fuckups which eventually led to the end of the friendship two days before graduation. HOW FUCKING CINEMATIC.
Coming to the present that is now in college. Ukw I'll just let it out. Coming to college is the canon. Now that things are done with with the friend grp I had and that now I'm gonna start afresh. I came to college as a blank slate. I did have a lot of lessons I learnt n shit cause of all the drama but after I came to college, I realised that everything here works differently. All the old ideals n stuff its all inexistent. Like for example in my hometown, being homophobic was like a big nono and now here it's just totally normal. It almost felt like I'm surrounded by cavemen. And it just feels odd and unnatural honestly. So I decided to just ignore everyone else's opinions and values and what nots and just know them for who they are instead. Adding insult to the injury, I was raised in a place where speaking English was the norm due to a wide range of diversity n stuff but here, they just speak the local language. I mean we are a part of the same country and I do know the language but since I was raised in English completely, I had little to no experience talking in the native language which made communication evem more awkward.
With everything that's happened and everything that's going on, I realised that I'm losing my older self which everyone used to somehow seem to love. Idk whether I'm not able to propagate to others effectively or what but I feel like everything combined together is just ruining my old serene self. Like ofc the older self was filled with toxicity and trauma but I found my way out and found peace with who I was. And I was making new friends to a good depth and ppl were understanding me better and I used to help ppl cope with their emotions and everyone seemed to love me then. Now that I'm here, I don't see depth in ppl at all. Im not able to form bonds the same way anymore. And I feel like that side of me is just dying. Considering how much effort it took for me to build that side of mine, I feel like if I lose it, I've lost myself completely and I can't really say anything to anyone because my older friends are no longer present in my life and the newer ones don't understand me.
So I made this blog where I try to find myself by posting what I used to be to remember everything I went through to gain back that version of me.
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i had ANOTHER dream abt miraculous ladybug and this ones a LONG one. it didnt have your artstyle but time paris DID have lovely architecture such as: the bigass hollow tree stumps in breath of the wild, u know the ones big enough to fit a shrine and a half. anyway, the final battle is Happening, people get to wonder if hawkmoth is gonna bite the dust in real time bc its being televised. this is all taking place smth like 3 yrs in the future from season 4 of the show. so theyre like uhhhh Older Teens and certifiably Tired Of All This Shit. so! at the bottom of one of those tree stumps, cat noir’s identity is going to be revealed! oh no!! hes in a #crisis of the soul mostly bc getting revealed would be Bad but also he doesnt feel like hes helping ladybug anymore. he doesnt feel trusted. a classic tale of the villain manipulating a traumatized teen. and ladybug (looking out over a roof and yelling at the top of her lungs) is like “ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU LEAVE MY PARTNER ALONE.” and bribes hawkmoth away by dangling her own secret identity in front of him like a worm on a hook. it works a little too well. her identity gets revealed! cat noir is safe but in the shuffle hes lost his miraculous and marinette picks it up. shes got both and puts them on. tikki and plagg are like “MARINETTE ITS SO DANGEROUS TO WEAR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME” and shes like “im going to punch hawkmoth in the face” and off she goes.
cat noir is nowhere to be found bc now hes adrian! and she doesnt know that! but he knows shes marinette! drama! so now ladybug is re transformed (without activating the black cat miraculous) and is whaling on hawkmoth. she crashes thru my house which is definitely not in paris and tells me and my sibs we have to get out NOW so we book it and its at this point the dream reveals to me that mylene’s mom is chinese and i sit there like Now Hold On A Minute and my mom says “i told u so!” and i tell her “you dont even watch the show???” mylene was wearing a green cheongsam. i don’t tend to ask questions. also by this point i made a mental note to tell u abt this bc it only gets more batshit.
ladybug told us (and everyone that was running away which was a lot of ppl) that if they find cat noir they shld tell him that ladybug loves him. then she has this Stellar idea. she finds nadja chamack and her camera (bc theres only two newspeople in all of paris and one of them runs reality tv) and is like “hi i need to get a message out to cat noir.” when the camera is situated on her (mind u ms chamack is VERY aware that this is her daughters babysitter and is currently holding hawkmoth in a chokehold) she says “im sorry cat noir. you believed in me and trusted me since day one and i couldnt extend you the same courtesy. i was wrong. there is no one else who can wield the black cat miraculous, no one else i would trust with the power of destruction. meet me at our normal rendezvous point so i can give back what is yours.” its all very heartfelt but undercut by the fact that hawkmoth’s bitch ass is shouting explicatives next to her. the fight resumes. she gets slammed into a wall á la every anime fight ever and manages to hide before getting to the roof where she’s waiting for cat noir. shes in a right amount of pain and tikki is running her mouth abt danger and injuries etc. marinette Will Not Move until cat noir shows up. and he does! adrian arrives! when marinette sees him she starts laughing and crying. adrian is rightfully confused. is this a good thing? is this a bad thing? did she hit her head? (yes to all 3.) marinette says “i have been in love with you since 10th grade.” (were they in 10th grade? i do not know.) adrian says “and ive been busy being in love with ladybug.” and then she apologizes again, gives him the ring back, they hug, kick ass and meet up in her room.
if it feels like we’re going rlly fast now its bc we are. the dream was pretty much a montage at this point. hawkmoth is arrested, the world knows who ladybug is, adrian is an orphan, nathalie is still sick, and marinettes parents r thinking that their kid has nearly died MULTIPLE TIMES and they never knew. also luka is under that bridge going “oh fuck.” marinette is in her room trying to explain what will happen next to alya and nino. alya says “i had to tell nino”and marinette says “i am beyond the point of anger. but whatever.” cat noir falls thru her sunroof and they hug (again, there was so much hugging in this dream to make up for the complete lack of hugging in the actual show) and alya + nino are like “uhhh awkward.” the last convo i don’t have quotes for bc at this point my alarm was ringing but it was something abt how marinette cant be ladybug or hold the miracle box and she wld want alya to be the holder but NINO knows and nino Cant Know. but cat noir doesnt want marinette to lose her memories! but People Know. the conclusion was they have to talk to chloe abt how to navigate paparazzi. this is my chloe-and-marinette-could-be-friends agenda. ok i think thats EVERYTHING. if u read all that godspeed, drink water. OH. FINAL THOUGHT. ADRIAN HAD LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ALL OF THIS. he had model-brand stubble and sharper teeth than he should.
sometimes I’m peeved that tumblr increased the character limit for asks to be higher than 500 characters, and other times I get
1k word asks about miraculous ladybug dreams, and I think that’s beautiful
I do unironically love the part about Chloe helping Marinette navigate paparazzi, rip to her canon character development
#also I love ‘meet me on the roof at our usual spot’#but he DOESNT HAVE HIS MIRACULOUS#NCBDBSHDHGJG#HOW DID HE GET UP THERE#miraculous ladybug
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nct dream reaction to their idol!reader girlfriend being shipped with another idol
anon: nct dream reaction to their idol!reader girlfriend being shipped with some other idol :) love your works btw. and thank you for this in advance
pairing: nct dream x idol!reader
genre: headcanons, fluff, crack
warnings: mentions of insecurities
a/n: dhsjdj technically my requests are closed rn but I decided I would write this out so I hope you enjoy this!
mark lee
confused boi™
tbh he wouldn't even notice you were being shipped with another idol until another member points it out
you were a special guest mc for the show and fans saw the cute interactions you had with the boyz juyeon
and soon enough fans started shipping the both of you together
in reality, you and juyeon were just high school friends and you were glad to see him again
fans on the other hand,,
mark didn't realise you were being shipped with juyeon until doyoung pointed it one day
and mark was all like
( ・◇・)?"nani? y/n and juyeon???"
he would then search up ynjuyeon on twitter because cough yeah
and found a shit ton of edits of the both of y'all
and now he's sad :((
he's sad that because no one shipped y'all together
"isn't your relationship a secret???"
"yeah but still :((("
mark sweetie y'all have neve interacted on stage before fjdjdndnd
he knows you love him and would never cheat on him
but boy is he going to be a pouty baby when y'all hang out next time
literally all he's going to say is:
"why do they ship you and him together?? why not me :(("
"mark they've never seen us in the same room before"
huang renjun
unbothered king™
at least that's what he tells you fhdjdj
he found out through a vlive fhdhdjj
it was one of the usernames and the username was like ynxyanan_shipper
and renjun mf squinted his eyes like
did I read that clearly ಠ_ಠ
he's like yn and wHO
chenle was beside him when it happened and chenle was like what's wrong
and renjun points out the username
and chenle starts lauGHING BECAUSE HE FINDS IT SO FUNNY
renjun smacks him on the head to tell him to shut up DHHSHDD
obviously he would take a screenshot of the username and sends it to you
and he's like
short king <3: do you hv something to confess to me
you: ,,, my love for you??
short king <3: blocked
you: HAHSAHS IM KIDDING
tbh you find the situation honestly really funny
cause you and yanan aren't exactly friends? you're more of acquaintances than friends
and you made eye contact one (1) time with him by accident at an award show and suddenly you're being shipped with him
when you call him the next time to hang out, definitely expect him to be salty about it fjdjfjd
"hey are you free to come over today?"
"I don't know, why don't you ask your BOYFRIEND yanan"
"renjun istg i will break up with you-"
lee jeno
oh baby boy is gonna be so so confused
he's going to be even more confused because you're being shipped with itzy's chaeryeong fhfhfjf
see you and chaeryeong were featured in an episode of a reality tv show once
and the both of y'all immediately hit it off and your friendship was just adorable
so y'all kept interacting every time y'all see each other
and y'all are now nicknamed as the 4th gen gfs because y'all are so adorable???
like the chaeryn ship ur most popular ship ever
so jeno is so confused?? like why is his gf being shipped with her??
he's like a whole ass puppy okay
you, on the other hand, find the chaeryn ship really cute so you don't mind it and you jokingly call chaeryeong your gf once or twice on live before fjdjfn
whenever you tell him that you're hanging out with chaeryeong, he will pout at you and give you his best puppy eyes
like he will cling onto you and try to convince you to now to go
it works like 13% of the time and you would cancel plans with chaer but most of time it doesn't and you would end up being late jhdjsh
but it will slowly become into an inside joke between y'all
like yk that one meme
"this is yn my girlfriend and her girlfriend chaeryeong"
kjdhkjshfs yeah that
but in all seriousness, jeno is really unbothered about you being shipped with chaeryeong because it basically has the same energy as him being shipped with jaemin
whenever y'all are having play fights, you jokingly threaten to leave him for chaeryeong jdsfjds and he immediately stops and says that's unfair
pls shower him in hugs and kisses later
lee haechan
definitely makes a fuss about it
i mean he knows that you aren't going to leave him and all but is he going to be dramatic about it? yes, yes he is
he finds out by himself because he was probably on twitter stalking your hashtag
when he suddenly stumbles upon and edit of you and ateez's san
he's like O.O wot is tHis?
screenshots the edit and sends it to you
hyuckie: yNNNN
hyuckie: THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
hyuckie: BABY
hyuckie: SUGAR BUM
hyuckie: DAISY PIE
you: what in, the ever loving fuck, is daisy pie
hyuckie: *sends screenshot* ARE U CHEATING ON ME
you: hyuck that pic is clearly edited
hyuckie: I KNOW BUT ARE YOU????
you: i-
he makes so much jokes about it that you literally have to shut him up with a kiss
jokes on u reader he's doing this on purpose to get those free kisses
the jokes stop when you actually finally meet san during a game show and shippers are like omg they finally interacted
and the amount of ynxsan edits just,, grow
haechan acts even salty about it and whines about why fan don't ship y'all together when y'all have made eye contact during the golden disk awards bc he was being a lil shit hdsjhfjds
"hey what if i keep staring at you during the melon so we can get into a scandal?"
"hyuck this is supposed to be a secret relationship-"
"yeah but-"
jokes on u he actually does stare at you at the next award show and thankfully did not get into any scandals, but fans started to ship the both of you!
na jaemin
the true unbothered king
literally does not care that you are shipped with someone else
because he knows that he is yours and vice versa
and plus you love him a lot so
he finds out from chenle, who did it out of spite because one day chenle was bored and wanted to cause some chaos
boi basically ran up to jaemin to shove an edit of you and treasurer's junkyu together and went like
"look hyung! ur gf is being shipped with someone eLsE"
"oh that's weird"
"rigHT"
"I thought people shipped her with treasurer's hyunsuk"
chenle is like
HUH???
"aren't you like,, jeaolous??"
jaemin just shrugs and says "hmm, not really"
jaemin knows that you are good friends wth a lot of idols because you're a social butterfly
so he truly doesn't mind when you get shipped with other idols bc in the end , he's the one holding you in his arms
plus he knows the edits and shippers are mostly harmless
and he trusts you
so he just fucks around with chenle jkldsfj
chenle is still confused bc he wants to rile jaemin up for fun but failed hjdshf
zhong chenle
if you thought haechan was dramatic, then you better buckle up for chenle's
so you see
fans already shipped u and chenle
like
y'all already have a dating scandal
and both companies tried so hard to defuse it
see you are an mc for a music show and you were interviewing nct dream
chenle, being the lil shit he is, kept giving you the heart eyes the entire time
and 6 months later, y'all got caught by dispatch on a daTe
ofc both sides were panicking but chenle was enjoying bc he's like "yeah this is my s/o and what abt it"
but y'all still had a dating ban so sm was this close in kicking him hfdsjfh
fortunately, they were able to cover it up as someone else so there's that
so chenle is aware that fans shipped the both of you together
so when he sees you being shipped with stray kid's jeongin
he was like "HOW DARE THEY-"
calls you to complain about the ship for 3 hours
and that is how you found out as well-
literally you don't even know jeongin so you just let chenle complain about it
he goes on and on about why fans should continue to ship y'all together so when he reveals the relationship the fans will be surprised but also not really at the same time-
"should i get into another scandal with you?"
"chenle no-"
park jisung
oh baby boy is going to be very, very confused
i mean he knows that shipping is a thing between fans
he's just confused why ppl would ship you and p1harmony's keeho
like you have never interacted with him so why would fans ship the both of y'all??
the dreamies mostly tell him to not take it serious but the chenle and haechan would egg him on
"get into a dating scandal with them"
"guys no-"
he wouldn't tell you that it bothers him because he doesn't want you laughing at him, worrying over a small issue
so honestly, it lowkey eats him up on the inside
until one day, you basically force it out of him because he's been acting weird for the past week
he finally confesses about the what's bothering him
and you tell him that you wouldn't have laughed at him
you know shipping idols is a common thing in the industry and sometimes it's uncomfortable knowing it when you're already in a relationship
but you also tell him that it's basically harmless because fans can't really force the both of y'all together
jisung would be insecure about the relationship because it's kinda of his first? so he just doesn't want to mess it up
just reassure him a lot and tell him that you won't leave him
and as time goes by, he just gets used to the shipping
#nct dream#nct dream imagines#nct dream reactions#mark lee imagines#renjun imagines#jeno imagines#chenle imagines#jaemin imagines#park jisung imagines#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#mark lee x reader#renjun x reader#jeno x reader#jaemin x reader#chenle x reader#jisung x reader#nct imagines
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i would just like to rant for a sec about kpop groups not be able to sing. i’ve stanned btob for a while now and have always liked groups that have good vocals and when they joined kingdom i was like eh sure i’ll watch some old men hang out with the kids.
most of it was… fine ig i knew i was biased but i thought btob had some only the most creative stages and it was fun to watch them interact with other groups. but then stray kids covered i’ll be your man and i was like ???? who in the i worms thought that group could handle those vocals?? i sometimes randomly think about it and cringe real bad and get secondhand embarrassment bc it i hated it that much. and then all my stray kids fans were like wow best performance i’ve ever seen. like???? idk if you’ve watched it but i was like how could anyone be proud of that perf 😂 anyways i left that showing knowing one thing and it was btob kings of vocals
yoo anon thank you. i never really openly talked about it when kondom was airing bc i didnt wanted to get any angry anons 🙈 so im gonna be honest here, finally
i watched it 2 and half times. it was bad. i couldnt believe it really.... their skill level... it was not it. you cant build a house with toy tools meant to play in sand........ whoever said it was good? you lied. and you need to see ear doctor immidiately. there gotta be some wax blockage. my bestie top btob stan @ddonggeun pretty much refused to watch that stage lmao. the climax part where rap and vocals are meshed together? it was embarazzing. btob can do it bc both rappers and vocalists know how to harmonize and support each other without overshadowing each other... they are good on their own And good when performing as a group. back to that stage.. they turned a song about catholic guilt mixed with doomed romance.. into some ??? dark brotherhood fantasy. i guess style over substance. i dont get it and i hated it. it was Not Good. @ me if you want idc. it doesnt deserve the praise it got
btob rearranges their own songs to make them easier to perform live, what were they thinking.... btob has like 5 way easier titles... for example: if they did 2nd confession... chill song with a+ line distribution and it's still not boring. i'd say 'respect' and go my merry way. even thriller would be a better choice but it still has bits that aren't as easy as they seem
btob titles.. starting with winters tale and ending with show your love... they are all tailor made for them. eunkwang is the one who oversees part distribution. that's why their songs seem easy... they are made for them and them only idc! that's the truth. not every group has 4 v good vocalists plus rappers than can carry a tune and have a clear diction.
yea i get angry anons wherever i talk about how btob songs are hard to cover and almost no one pulls them off... idc. ppl just want to show off their vocals so they don't re-arrange the songs or adjust the key. big mistake huge. one of very few good btob covers is lightsum's only one for me. they changed it up and took it easy. worked out well. if u cant sing like btob... maybe dont cover their songs... btob spent 3 years of extreme nugudom going on radio/tv shows and covering 173849 songs, from super hard korean ballads to jpop classics. i have a whole yt playlist full of uncut btob rehearsal videos and they are just... wearing sweats, playing around And singing their ass off. btob on chill mode is what some idols fail to achieve on stage...
btob kondom stages were crazy bc 1. they pulled them off vocally 100% despite half of them being sick 2. u dont need to read a whole essay to understand ~symbolism and meaning~ 3. you can tell they learnt a lot from years of doing concerts with Live Band And musicals 4. whole staff working with them nailed their job, from choreographers, dancers, set designers to stylists
yea i have superiority complex what you gonna do about it! yejiapsa btob
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hey, sorry, i did read ur bio but im..... unclear what u mean specifically by "anti anti" and "pro ship/pro fiction"? sorry, the terms get thrown around a lot and its made me unclear what ppl mean when they use them since its used in such drastically different contexts. sorry to bother
it's alright, you're not bothering me. i was honestly kind of expecting an ask like this after making that post. i hope, anon, before you respond (if you respond) you hear me out for the whole post.
i'm gonna put this under a cut since i rambled, sorry. warning for some discussion of abuse
first off, i wanna say that while writing this response feels very weird and kind of nerve-wracking, this isn't information i've been trying to hide. i, perhaps foolishly, tend to assume that people who follow me have at least read my bio, even if they choose not to read my about page, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that this is just......not the case? and it's becoming a bit frustrating to inevitably receive backlash from people following me about views i've been open about having from the get-go, hence the vent post. sorry about that, though, there's better ways of handling that frustration, i know.
secondly, i'm pro ship as in......pro ship. all ships, no matter how tasteless, controversial, or disgusting i or anyone else might find them. i'm pro fiction in the same sense, but just in regards to fiction as a whole, both in and out of fandom. while i never fully identified as an anti, i definitely used to have views closer to that mindset, and i can confidently say that they have caused me a lot of harm in the long run. also, while i fully take accountability for the things i've said during those years, i also feel like in some sense i was enabled to be cruel to others while i was a part of that group. never full on hate campaigns, sure, but i've definitely said some nasty stuff to people, and i regret ever doing it, and i especially feel regret for ever feeling justified in doing it. it also bothers me that there were other anti-minded people in my circles who encouraged me, even, and assured me i was doing the right thing when i fucking wasn't.
while i don't think i can explain all of my reasons for my beliefs in this post alone—that would make this thing way longer than it already is—i want to mention that i don't disagree with the notion that fiction can have an affect on our reality, i just think it's more nuanced than a one-to-one correlation of "reading about [thing]=think [thing] is now good", and i also think since fandom is, well, fandom, people tend to overexaggerate its influence on people. if you've ever read a fic or watched a tv show and thought that they handled a certain subject poorly, or recognized that a certain trope they used was bigoted, or anything of that sort, then, well, congrats! you know exactly what i mean. fiction can certainly influence people's views, but i think it's more of a lack of education (sex education, education on the lived experiences of minorities, etc) that's the problem, rather than the fiction on its own.
i also HEAVILY dislike this notion that fiction causes or enables people to abuse—in the case of the former, that's taking responsibility from the abuser because it implies that fiction "made" them do it when it was really their choice to be cruel, and in the case of the latter, i really think it's the aforementioned lack of education and the lack of systems we have in place to support victims/challenge authority that's more of an issue. sure, fiction can absolutely be used to groom people for abuse, but so can candy, or sports, or money, or one on one time, a whole bunch of things are all potential tools and unfortunately, we can't ban everything that could potentially be used to harm someone. and besides, that's overlooking that properly tagged fic (i'm. very pro content warnings in addition to being anti censorship just to be clear) can actually help people realize they're being abused when they see their situations being reflected on the page in front of them that's clearly labeled as abuse.
those aren't my only reasons of course, but this is getting long already, so thank you for sticking with me if you've gotten to the end. if you're uncomfortable with me because of this, i understand, i just ask that you either quietly unfollow or block me, because i'm not afraid to report people for harassment. if you have any good-faith follow up questions, i'm free to answer those as well, i really don't mind.
#i feel like i always take on a different tone when writing about stuff like this#or at least when i need to be more serious#it's like. professional marshy. i guess. academic marshy#why i left the anti cult and decided to just enjoy things: a memoir#<- that's my tag for this sort of thing if you're curious#marshy gets asks#anonymous#also anon if you're the person i think you are then.....idk. i'm sorry. i hope you don't feel like i was trying to deceive you or anything#like i said i generally assume people read my bio and are okay with it#or at least understand what i mean#it's kinda nerve wracking to be open about this sort of thing because of the amount of harassment that goes on but i don't like hiding it#maybe i should be more clear though idk. shrug emoji
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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid
Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader
warnings: alcohol mention
a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna
prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!
it was just you and your mom for a long time
pepper and y/n potts
she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark
speaking of—
“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you
“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”
“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”
“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”
“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”
*giggling* “y/n”
“no way! that was my second guess!”
tony wasn’t used to being around kids
he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them
despite a few minor hiccups
“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”
he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair
“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”
dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!
“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”
“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”
she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy
when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office
tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there
“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school
in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close
but tony made up for it
“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”
you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool
and as you grew up, you started to notice more
“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”
“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”
“called it!”
after that you did everything to try and get them together
when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly
no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now
“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”
“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”
“wise words, sir” -JARVIS
when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all
no
and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”
(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)
“my mom missed you”
“oh, i bet she did”
“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”
“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”
tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo
but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)
and just to make sure:
“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”
“man, that’s like, forever away”
“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”
ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence
“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”
“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”
that didn’t last long
not long at all
and soon they FINALLY got together
“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”
“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*
“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”
“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”
sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!
it was completely decked out
king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!
okay you were spoiled
“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper
“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”
“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS
pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family
you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you
“mr. potts, is it?”
“sure”
“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”
“why’d they punch the kid?”
“well, the other student punched y/n first”
“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”
he literally gave you a high five when you got home
“i gave him a black eye!”
“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”
a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight
“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”
“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”
youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours
“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”
your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!
“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony
“tony, you are impossible” -pepper
no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!
disappointed but not surprised
iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer
Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’
Mr. Tony: HE WHAT
Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!
anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end
you met mr. col. james rhodes that day
“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey
“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”
“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”
you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)
“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey
“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust
literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.
“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony
he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot
“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy
then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal
Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?
New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.
Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.
New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap
watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!
“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”
tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common
you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings
Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕
👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you
“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”
legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up
anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!
“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you
ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked
why is the earth always in fucking danger
you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut
“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”
“...hi there, little one”
“what the fuck”
“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”
tony stark has left the atmosphere
you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho
she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared
plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!
only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely
but watching morgan grow up kept you busy
“ahhh, shes so big!”
happy times in bad times
bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.
but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago
you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check
“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”
you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth
best stepdad a kid could ever ask for
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //
#tony stark x child!reader#tony stark x son!reader#tony stark x daughter!reader#tony stark imagine#tony stark#iron man#iron man x reader#iron man imagine#dad!tony#stark!son#stark!reader#stark!daughter#stepdad!tony#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel imagine#avengers#avengers x reader#avengers imagine#pepper potts#pepper potts x reader#pepper potts imagine#potts!reader
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cries think I made my ask too long so like half of it got deleted bc I typed it right into the askbox. anyways. I come bearing a3 thoughts! at first i was gonna watch the spring/summer and autumn/winter ones and then give my thoughts on both but. turns out i had too many thoughts lol? which i shouldve expected but i actually kind of... got bored by the first two chapters of this event! so i skipped and went to the stranger. and then went back. (1/?)
and then i got to like "tsuzuru and kazunari are having a fight?" and jumped on that like a starving wolf bc helllll yeah! i rly adored kazunari in sardine search, i think he was great! hes just so nice and has good vibes. he and taichi are kind of similar i feel? but i think their respective ages contribute to a lot of difference in their characters. why does it feel like this askbox limit personally wants me dead. (2/?)
anyways! i rly enjoyed the improv scene devolving to a real fight. admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event... it was still good tho. the scene i mean. (3/?)
also i rly liked tenma ragging on them afterwards. like he was mean but. first i adore tenma. second he just felt like. a different meddling type to muku lol? like the vibes he gave me were always like... im going to be a considerate leader and watch out for the ppl under me! therefore im gonna make sure theyre doing fine! aggressively. i think tenmas also just like a friendly person who likes to take care of others in general? like im not saying hes omi or anything but just like. (4/?)
that time he offers his car ride to juza so they can go to school together like hes surprisingly open compared to his initial prickliness. also ive got thoughts abt the tenma juza SSR conversation thing i read. one day ill make a tenma and juza fic and complete a trifecta haha... but thats something for another day! back to the actual story. the way tsuzuru dives right in after kazunari! that was so nice. like its easy to see how much they care abt each other. (5/?)
to the point where like even while theyre fighting theyre like angry but still like fairly quiet bc i think theyre both at least trying to be considerate of each other. ah the moment kazunari didnt respond to tsuzuru trying to talk to him i KNEW he was sick tho. felt proud of myself for calling that one but also the reason i knew is bc i have used the "character being sick during an argument causing them both to make up with each other" trope myself before so uh. like recognizes like haha. (6/?)
anyways the cg there was fuckin beautiful like kazunari looks so sad in the middle bit but then u see his shy smile? like hes sick but hes also like. happy to be there. idk. lovely. i adore kazu i think hes just deeply sweet to other people. tsuzuru telling him "you make everyone around you feel as bright and cheery as the things you design” is so wonderful too (7/?)
now im thinking. ah tsuzuru probably feels quite drained after a script and such (i know i am when i finish any piece--its like the emotions just rush out of me) so i like to think that like yknow. kazunari dropping by his room or whatever helps him set himself back to normal! but also when tsuzurus like oh u left ur magazines here! i suddenly remembered. wait shit kazunari and tsuzuru arent even roommates. wonder how much they bother masumi lmaooo. anyways overall very good story! (8/?)
some more thoughts: itaru and citron were so cute in this event! just like. citron saying itaru winking makes his heart skip a beat and itaru quoting citrons wrong sayings (which. i am also guilty of today i told my brother "we'll jump that bridge when we cross it" so) also i love how yuki is like "thank god i wasnt partnered with that hack" but like. yuki. u could literally just not talk about him. like its so funny to me yuki is like wow i hate tenma but he wont shut up abt him haha (9/?)
i also was a lil taken aback at hearing itaru go "for the lulz" tbh... like it fits him. but im mad it fits him? anywaysss thats all i had for this one! im gonna watch autumn/winter and go say my thoughts on that soon. sorry the ask was so broken up, idk what happened!
OLA FRIEND! Glad to see your thoughts again omg :3c
tho omg the fact tumblr deleted it all + the ask limit was all so evil D: poor friend.
I'm putting my answer under a read more because. Well. *waves hand* it got long.
The non-play events can be perhaps a little harder to get into because unlike the plays events that you start with a clear idea of at least the main plot (re: "they are preparing a play, i know the leads so i know who it will focus on"), non-plays events take a little longer to first set up what event they're participating in, how to prepare for it, and then bring up the conflict and which characters are going to have something to do with said conflict. So i can understand that they're a little harder to get into when we know the plays awaits.
On top of that, the first few events still were a bit tame because since it was early when the app released, i think they didn't go too heavy at once in case some people were still stuck on earlier chapters (esp since especially Winter is hard to unlock)
ANYWAY glad that it sucked you in on the second read :3c
So glad you were invested in that conflict!
Totally agreeing with you about Kazunari, and very good point about Taichi as well! they aren't the Puppy Pair for nothing :'D (Yuki took one look at both of them together and just Knew. His suffering knows no end (lovingly)). But yeah i think they have a lot in common, they both are the really bright and friendly figure, both also started in overcompensating a bit because both wanted to be popular in some ways.
But we do have, on one hand, Kazunari who wanted that rather late in his life while Taichi always thrived for that, the fact Kazunari made friends easily and it's just that he was scared of getting to the next level, while Taichi always struggled with this quest for popularity. In a way too both of them were at least scared to share a part of them, Kazunari worrying to show his thoughts, and Taichi being a spy and all of that... which impacts them really differently considering the guilt it puts on Taichi. And then you add their age into the mix, especially the fact Kazu is the oldest of his troupe and Taichi the youngest of his, it makes them fairly similar all while being fairly different.
both are so interesting to me and i love them bothhh, so it's always nice to see them have focus.
admittedly i was kinda surprised that the content of that improv wasnt rly too similar to their actual fight? like normally a3 has the story of the play run parallel to like the actual real character drama so i thought the improv might function as the play in this event
i love how you are seeing the patterns a3 tends to do it's so neat!
It's true the fight isn't really similar to their actual fight, though i do love that they had "swapped" their personality for the act and ended up insulting each other for theirr swapped personality. Like, Kazunari insulted part of himself in Tsuzuru's character and Tsuzuru did the same?? and then the fight escalated and the way Kazunari broke character hurts bc it's really that Tsuzuru hit where it hurts. But yeah it still wasn't too relevent to their actual fight, though i think the thing is that their fight was as such mostly because they tend to clash often due to their personalities rather than just this singular reason why, so to have the play go more "it's their personalities the problem" kinda hurt lol. But yeah still agreed that it didn't reflect much on the plot itself
I was rereading the improv bit to answer correctly and man since we're going to talk about Tenma next, i just. Love that when Kazunari, breaking character, his eyes sad, tells Tsuzuru "you have no rights talking to me like that..." it then cuts on Tenma being upset. Bc like. Exactly like you say, he wants to look out for the people under him. and like. Kazunari is his friend. A friend he also snapped at once and insulted for being who he was, so he probably could have relived a bit of his fight with Kazunari seeing those two fights; Except that now Kazunari is one of his closest friend and he doesn't like that.
Also like. It was also because he could still hide under the plot of the improv but it's so rare, and it never happened before that point, that Kazunari stands for himself in a "the way you treat me is unfair"? Like again re: his fight with Tenma, when Tenma snapped at him, while Tenma was unfair with him, Kazunari took the blame, called himself annoying and all yaknow?
The fact Kazunari is starting to accept that he can take more place for himself is something the whole Summer Troupe have been trying to help him work on, but especially Tenma. Tenma is always there trying to push Kazunari to say what he means, to express his feelings, to stop hiding.
And for once, Kazunari does that in front of everyone... and it's because he's breaking because of his fight with Tsuzuru.
I think Tenma probably felt it was even more of a reason to get involved like, this is the thing he's been working on with Kazunari about, and now he's being all hurt about it, not on Tenma's watch!
And i totally agree with your take on Tenma! (and would LOVE to read the Tenma and Juza fic once you get to it :3c). I think, Tenma is really caring and is trying to take a place as a caretaker and all, but unlike Omi, he has absolutely no reference for it.
Omi is the eldest of multiple brothers and everything indicates his parents have always been lovely to him. Add to it how he ended up leader of a delinquent crew he was clearly looking after, Omi has a history of taking care of people, of nurturing them, and he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile Tenma grew up on TV sets, mostly surrounded by adults and not by people his age, mostly getting advice from being ordered around by directors i think. And his parents are distant, hyperfocused on their job, not really nursing with him. So Tenma meanwhile really didn't have a family emotional support and was in situation where he couldn't befriend other kids his age. His only reference was probably Igawa (his agent) and i think for a long time he didn't exactly see it, and Igawa remained mostly professional so there was probably the idea of it not being sincere? That Tenma had to grow out of.
So like, they're both extremely nurturing and caring, but my point is that Omi has experiences in it and is at ease with it, while Tenma has been so alone and in places were he had no support system that even if he wants to support others, he still struggles with how to do it because he has no set exemple. And that's his development in the main story arc, to learn from how Izumi shows she cares in order to care back at them all.
Like i mean the way Tenma yelled at them about their mistakes at first feel like he would have picked it up from some directors on TV set yaknow? Probably hearing them say that with no consequences on others actors, seeing it worked, didn't think "that's an abuse of power and the actors probably all think badly of their director for that" but "wow that works", tried it on his troupesmates and realized this is... not how that works. And it's spending time watching how Izumi encourages them that have him fix his way to approach it.
So yeah i got lost too into it but like. I feel you on Tenma i love him so much and i love his development so to see him get pissed and involved there? was really nice. even if he was aggressive about it. He's still learning.
ANYWAY back to Tsuzuru and Kazunari, totally agree with what you say next. They still care a lot about each other and yeah they're at a point where this consideration they have for each other make their anger more quiet than trying to attack one another (Banri could NEVER-). so yeah totally agree with you!
DLKFJDLKF i LOVE the reasoning on "recognizing that Kazunari was sick". Your writer's powers making you see through... *coughs* unlike Tsuzuru....
AND YEAH ALL YOU SAY ABOUT THE CG.. YEAH. Kinda crying thinking about it again now LDKJFLKDJF It's just. Everything about it is so soft and tender. The things Tsuzuru tells Kazunari are soo so sweet sobs. They're just adorable i love those kids. and also i feel you for Kazu he's just that great huh?
The whole set up about Kazu dropping by his room is so so cute! I love it! Like probably the very first time Tsuzuru braces himself because "oh no i'm not in the mood to stand mister hyperenergy himself" but Kazunari quickly adjust his energy so that Tsuzuru can just recharge without being overwhelmed. Yes it would drive Masumi completely nuts. Which i think is a plus for Tsuzuru like, hey, if Masumi gets annoyed once in a while it's a win. But yeah also i think that Tsuzuru and Kazunari should really have the Artistic Soldiarity of Students in Art school Probably Working Until Very Late To Complete Their Projects. Would love if at the end Tsuzuru gave it back yaknow?
but yeah their story was really nice i'm so glad you liked it! :D
oh god yeah Itaru and Citron were SO cute in it too, i also love the comments Citron makes about Itaru's winks. Just there flirting in front of everyone like those two embarrassing friends huh. (probably with Muku being all starry eyes considering he greatly admires both Itaru and Citron and, well, Romance.). And yeah i love how Itaru ends up so much into Citron's rhythm (and this idiom you said? is glorious actually, 10 points for you)
DLKFJDLKF what a call out toward Yuki. "yes i hate Tenma,no i won't shut up about him, also if YOU say you hate Tenma i'm going to stab you with my needles, have a nice fucking day.". I love their dynamics so much aha
And yeah Itaru is there cursing us the whole time with the fact he's the greatest nerd ever and it fits him perfectly. It makes me laugh so hard.
Thank you so much for having shared your thoughts there! it's always a blast to read through them and i dearly enjoyed it! (+ it makes me relive the event a little and it makes me soft!)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! So glad you had so many thoughts about all of this, what a blast.
thank you for sharing, and looking forward the Autumn/Winter reactions :3c
Take care!
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Would you be willing to share how you might rewrite Yukizome, Sakakura, and Munakata to make them likable characters (if not ppl Bc there’s a big difference)???
ahhhhhhh this ask got me so stupidly excited that I was like wavin my hands around. I think about how to rewrite their characters OFTEN. very often. I’m gonna go with likeable character over likeable people because I think they work better where they’re actually not that likeable people.
The one I think about the MOST is Munakata. He was SUCH wasted potential and I partially blame the medium for that (a single season anime is too constrained for future, it needed more time and care to be a proper story). But Munakata is actually so close to being a compelling character but they made some MAJOR mistakes with him. This ended up getting really long and more like a 3 page ADHD ramble essay. SO IM VERY SORRY to anyone who cannot read this but TYTYTY if you did because these ideas make me very happy! Oh it’s only about Munakata btw because of how long it got
The thing about Munakata is that he is designed to be a foil to Naegi. In fact a majority of dr3 future FOCUSES on this foil dynamic. It is Naegi’s hope vs Munakata’s hope. The World’s hope vs The FF’s hope. And more importantly it is True Hope vs Corrupted Hope.
This is a fantastic concept...so why didn’t it work in canon? I think that the biggest most glaring issue with Munakata’s hope is his logic. Munakata is meant to be a logical man, although with corrupted morals that lead him astray. Yet in canon his logic is laughably infallible. For example as a major figure in the FF and someone who wants to spread hope....why would he tell Naegi to kill himself? More importantly why does he continue to try and slaughter Naegi? The issue here isn’t from the fact that he wants him dead but from the fact that he is under the IMPRESSION that this entire game is being broadcast to the world.
Think about this for a second. In Munakata’s eyes he is going to kill the Ultimate Hope, an international symbol of a better life, live on TV. He doesn’t just want to kill the Ultimate Hope..he wants to do it BRUTALLY as a MAJOR FIGURE OF THE FF. IMO this should have happened later on as the game furthers the emotional turmoil in Munakata’s head and he eventually snaps and gives in to the desire to kill Naegi despite the fact that this is live. And then there should be CONSEQUENCES for that. I wanted so badly a realization where Munakata realizes that he is hurting the Ultimate Hope in front of what he believes is the entire world.
Another issue with Munakata’s logic is saying things such as...implying that the HPA KG was...just a game. I mean...people DIED. it's not hard to see how wrong that logic is. you can't say “this is the real world now” when what Naegi experienced WAS the real world. I think that this could be fixed through a bit of world building. DR3 Future is rather isolated from its world. We don’t really know much about the world and its dynamics. I think it would make perfect sense if the general public viewed the HPA KG as a tv show, they got numb to the sight and even those untouched by despair had a hard time connecting that these are REAL people suffering. With this previously established Munakata expressing that the KG was not real would make a lot more sense and play into his corrupted idea of hope.
There is also Munakata’s connection to his other friends. Now I’ve talked about this before but the game was clearly designed to BREAK Munakata and Naegi. This way the FF would die, both the FF and World’s hope would be broken, and upon seeing this Mitarai would have no choice but to deploy his own forced hope. So it makes perfect sense that Yukizome’s death would break him (in fact if she hadn’t died in that way, her NG code was designed to be Munakata’s fault). But something about it felt...superficial. Again I think this is the mediums fault but it almost feels as though Munakata just forgets about Yukizome until later. I think they should spend more time establishing his pain and what he has lost and why this pushes him to kill. In his eyes if she can die then nothing else matters. It should be THE breaking point, not the first push. I do like the betrayal he feels towards realizing she had despair but it needed more time to fester.
And his relationship with Sakakura also felt weak. In all honesty it was hard for me to feel as though they were ever friends. Sakakura is written as though he just follows Munakata like a loyal dog and Munakata just orders him around. Establish their relationship more! Why are they such good friends? Why is Sakakura important to him? And more importantly why did Munakata decide to cruelly gut Sakakura knowing he was about to confess? This is because he believed that Sakaura was despair and that his confession was more manipulation, but they didn’t show this well at ALL. Munakata just comes across as a major a-sshole who does not care. I also personally found it distasteful that when changing his heart Munakata only seemed to cry for Yukizome. I understand that was his love interest but Yukizome at the end of the day killed herself. Sakakura however was an unnecessary betrayal he took into his own hands AS HE HIMSELF KILLED HIM. He should have more guilt over that! Not just in that moment where he runs to Sakakura, but ahead of time as well! Maybe even DURING his rampage they could have shown him having moments of guilt but he is so absorbed in the idea that all despairs have to die that he doesn’t even realize he has become despair in the name of hope.
A BIG weakness on Munakata’s part comes with interacting with other characters. He is a man who should know how to take charge, lead, and doesn't know what to do when things are getting too crazy even though he THINKS he does. Munakata is heavily flawed, OBVIOUSLY flawed, but many of the interactions with him are as tho his rampage isnt a big deal. There should be reasons for this! Why do people trust Munakatas guidance so much? I dont know! All ive seen from him is that hes insane! Maybe even pieces where around others hes a lot nicer so you can understand why they follow him, even though hes ready to gut Naegi alive with a flaming katana. His interactions with others feel like the writers just wanted to see the next big evil thing they could think of, but for Munakata’s character this doesn't make sense because he was appointed a high status in the foundation for a reason. Maybe even have people say they disagree with some of his methods but at the end of the day he gets the job done!
There is another major missed opportunity here and it's why Muanakata wants Naegi dead so badly in the first place. The remnants. Hiding terrorists in the apocalypse is a PERFECTLY valid reason to want someone dead and think they're a bad guy! But I think since Naegis initial arrest was already so hostile and violent we get the sense that the FF is simply just...crazy.
And let’s think about what Munakata WANTS from Naegi. He does not just want Naegi dead he wants something worse. He wants Naegi to suffer first. He thinks that Naegi doesnt understand his own personal pain. He thinks that because Naegi protected the remnants he must also not care about the suffering the remnants caused. He wants Naegi to feel despair and then die. This is important to his corrupted hope. He thinks the suffering must be shared in order to understand who must die, but he is creating a cycle of pain. Tie this back to the broadcasting issue. He wants Naegi to break for everyone to see. I think..and this is just a concept..I think it would have been a great idea for Munkata to force Naegi to watch the despair video so that he has no choice but to understand.
AND themes are majorly important to Danganronpa. And I don’t think its a stretch to say that there are parallels between Munakata and Naegi. In fact I would say that there are aspects of the og trio in this new trio. I think it would have been really cool if they showed how our favorite trio could have ended up if they had been corrupted as well. But the parrellels dont stick strongly. I think it would have been cool to show a past where Munakata’s idealism lies more strongly than Naegis. As the student council president there was a time where he himself had to use his words to solve problems. Perhaps he learned that sometimes his words made things worse. Munakata does not have Naegi’s talent of emotional intelligence. He is a man of action over words. So he interprets this as WORDS being the problem rather than understanding he does not have these skills. Especially when the apocalypse breaks out, it becomes all action over words. So he sees Naegi who is all talk as a genuine threat who will let everyone die through his “weak ineffective” idea of hope.
Another parallel could be drawn from the fact that they both have hope based careers. Their job is too keep things hopeful. Maybe Naegi stays safe doing public broadcasted speeches, while Munakata is on the field weeding out despairs. This would cause Munakata to feel as though Naegi is doing no real work yet getting all the credit for being a savior.
Munakata constantly complains that Naegi does not know true pain. But he and we as an audience have followed Naegi through his entire process of trauma. We know he is in the wrong. But what do we as an audience know about Munakata’s suffering? We are shown almost nothing! There are some implications, but for how intense he is implications are not enough. We need to see his suffering. We should see how he has witnessed death. Yukizomes death is not nearly enough for this because he talks as though he has suffered for years. How can we as an audience understand that when we have never seen it? How can we understand Munakata when he is outright denying Naegi’s trauma that we KNOW existed with no proper justification for his reasoning?
I also believe that Munakata should have died. It actually upsets me a bit that he was PLANNED to die but didn't. He should have died protecting Naegi after all that suffering and relentless brutality he offered him. Munakata again is a man of action over word, and protecting Naegi with his last breath is the perfect way to show how in the end he changed. Especially when all he wanted initially was for Naegi to die. I find that much more satisfying than just…...walking off to who knows where.
So lets recap some changes. Munakata needs a proper display of his past traumas and his relationship with Sakakura and Yukizome. Munakata needs a proper display of his work relationships and the respect he has earned. Munakata needs to fall into corruption at a better pace, and have geniune reasons for his illogical attacks on Naegi. Munakata needs to care more for his friends. Munakata needs to deal with the turmoil of wanting to hurt Naegi while he believes the world is watching. Munakata needs to die for Naegi
This has gotten long...and I still have things to say. There is so much to make Munakata a good character. Future had a lot of potential and is amazing for a rewrite concept. As for Sakakura and Yukizome since this has gotten long feel free to ask for another round of this individually when asks are open again! If you read all of this somehow….TYSM
#ask#danganronpa#kyosuke munakata#dr3#dr3 spoilers#analysis#???#sorry sorry sorry ahhhhh i have so much to say fuuuuihkhuhi
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OK HERE ARE MORE SLIDES HSHSGA
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/109uK-q-OktPBmv8JF-uDD9HJkq0fnmn6w3yRN8PnGVY/edit
kindly ignore the "people we know" section, i made this for a presentation party
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/16Lg7vWr0cCqq9xNzDlGtt1BV5dINGs0Wj8oFjeqL8qQ/edit
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/12ywRhPHnf4SqGfKkZfE6dDNQz5fDiC3KMXq_Dtjt8r4/edit
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1-ty_5cSKcJTQmzyX19y-BOBlkG369XVTQCgogQD3WZk/edit
onto your questions!
- i indeed to band!! i play clarinet, but we have a marching season coming up so i was at percussion rehearsal. i’m one of the new drum majors for my band (so i conduct the show/im 2nd in line to the director). i’m my free time i fuck around with the ukulele and guitar. im not great but it calms me down.
are you in band?? it's so much fun dbsbsbs!! when the event ends we have to keep in touch (even if it's just to share shitty pics of me in a uniform)
1) i read svt as seventeen! it's really funny though because i don't read skz as "stray kids", i read it as "skizz" fbsbsbshja
2) i'd rather never meet them and b able to consume their content!! i've made it this far already :))
what are your answers to those two??
some sleepover questions!!
1) do you have any movie or tv show recs?? i've been watching buzzfeed unsolved and criminal minds on repeat and it's getting to me 🙄🙄 i plan on watching vip, the one about the north korean officials son, and the wind rises
2) do you have any funny school trip/ band (if your in it) stories? i have quite a few band related ones if you wanna hear them
3) where do you live (this is not supposed to be creepy). i’m from new jersey!! (we might have talked about this but i have a brain the size of a pea
4) what grade are you going into/ are you currently in. i’m gonna b a junior and i am NOT ready for it 😩😩 it's so scary
girl i have no good sleepover questions 🙄🙄 all i do at sleepovers is reenact fanfiction, watch movies, and gossip 😩
if you want gossip from new jersey -> i got drum major over a guy who's harassed me, my sister, and at least 3 of my friends and i’m so happy!! it felt so good to finally have a win 🤤🤤
ooo i’ll check out the slides later!! (i’m babysitting rn lol)
omg i don’t do band and can’t play any instruments, but i’m so jealous of ppl who do!😫 like,, u can just make music! that’s so cool!! and yes we *absolutely* have to keep in touch after the event!! (i would love to see pictures of u in ur uniform alsnksjsks)
ok so i read “ess vee tee” and ya i’d also choose consume content and never meet them, i mean,,, i’m a fan of the content so it just wouldn’t work for me to not consume it anymore lol
ok so for ur questions:
1) ok first of all i love buzzfeed unsolved!! in honor of them ending the series ive been rewatching all of it too lol (i just got to the iconic goatman episode) but i’d recommend downton abbey (i’m only on season four but i’ve rlly been enjoying it) and i’m currently making my way through disney’s tv adaptation of this book series i rlly loved in like,, late middle school-ish? it’s called the mysterious benedict society and the way they’re making the tv show feels so much like the book i rlly love it
2)uhhh so i don’t have any band stories (obvs lol) but i did dye my hair for the first time (well the first time i permanently dyed it) at midnight in the girls locker room? so i go to a rlly small jewish day school, and on the first night of hanukkah they do this thing where all the girls in the high school get to sleep over and light the candles for the first night and then watch movies and wtv and sleep in the not heated gym (and then wake up to pray and go to classes because hanukkah started the day before winter break that year and so we had to actually go to classes the next day🙄) but i had brought hair dye with me so two friends and i (shoutout to @eb4 for being one of those friends and seeing the chaos firsthand shakhskahs) left during the movie (it was parent trap so i almost stayed lol) and went down to the girls locker room and busted out the hair dye! we had to dye it in the sink cuz the school showers r 🤢 and don’t have curtains and i was already in my pajamas. so then an hour later we washed off the dye in the sink and voila! it was box black hair dye and my natural hair is rlly dark brown so it wasn’t like i was dying my hair some crazy color like the blue i have now) i for sure have other stories if u wanna hear them and i’d love to hear some band stories!☺️
3)omg it’s not creepy dw 😂 and i live in massachusetts! also i didn’t know that u live in jersey!! (ok so these two kids who joined my grade this past year r from jersey and they’re so chaotic and i get very similar vibes from u and now i’m wondering if it’s just a jersey thing sksnsjs)
4)girl i’m gonna b a junior too!! and OMG TELL ME ABT IT IM ALREADY AT SCHOOL FOR NINE HOURS A DAY AND HAVE SO MUCH HW AND THIS YEAR IM TAKING AN AP AND SELF STUDYING FOR ANOTHER IM NOT BUILT FOR THIS SKANSNAJ😭😭
omg re-enacting fanfic sounds like such a fun thing to do at a sleepover!! i only have one friend who reads fanfic and we were in seperate fandoms before covid so no fanfic re-enactments for me😔 i’ll def b putting that in my back pocket for when sleepovers r finally a thing again sjhshaha
aaaa that’s so awesome for u!!! i’m not quite sure what that means but u won and that’s always an awesome feeling!!❤️
ok now for my questions:
1) do *u* have any band/school stories???
2) do u do any extracurriculars other than band?
3) ok i know u told me u have a sister but is she younger or older? (lemme predict real quick….💭💭ur the younger one!)
4) what’ve u been doing so far over the summer?
5) shaniac or boogara?? (or shitfish lol)
i hope u have a good night and am sending u tons and tons of love!!❤️❤️
#im sorry for the questions being so mediocre it’s currently 9:50 and im babysitting and exhausted ajbasjhaj#asked and answered#🐯 anon
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which characters are trans this is a scientific inquiry
all of them except vilgefortz and leo bonhart
ok ok jokes, ill go more in depth... some of this is taken from things ive written before but not posted. also for anyone reading this im non bee nary so know that im not trying to describe the experiences of different identities in first-person, i’m basing this off of both my own and my friends’ experiences... none of this is “OMG YES CHARACTER ANGST >:))” but rather depicting personal struggles in fictional characters, so just know that the more difficult subjects that may be covered are not there just to see the character in pain, but rather to think about their eventual resilience against it and development afterwards
for geralt and yennefer i have more specific reasons why i think being transgender actually fits with their canonical characters & related story arcs, and then for the rest i have headcanons and maybe some reasoning but not a lot.
geralt: geralt already represents how a struggle with toxic masculinity and expectations of masculinity can influence one who wants to be seen as masculine to deny and bury their emotions. him being trans develops upon the aspect of his struggle with emotions, ive seen my friends who are transmasculine / myself when i used to ID as transmasculine struggle with showing emotions bc of feeling like you’re going to be misgendered if you shed a single tear. in canon, we already learn that kaer morhen has a bit of a macho culture (just fyi eskel and lambert and coen are trans too now, don’t go getting any idea that those guys are cis) and i believe that the “witchers have no emotions” thing is like 5% actual biology and 95% being raised to fight and not to feel. vesemir is a good father but he just wasn’t very emotionally nurturing, it’s the caste’s way of raising kids that geralt breaks out of.
i think geralt’s self-image also speaks a lot to the feelings of harsh internal transphobia. he constantly others himself from others and feels like people view him as different, which is metaphorical for any marginalized group under the sun, but also is very common for lgbt ppl. again this is smth ive really struggled with within the past few years so im just projecting/know what it feels like and feel that how geralt sees himself in canon is similar to a view suffering from internalized transphobia.
geralt's character already redefines manhood because he has to learn what it means to be a good father. and i think him being trans would be representative of his constant learning and growth as a person, yet also somewhat involved with his self loathing and feeling like just Him Existing is an affront ... but of course he unlearns this with time and love from others and all of his character development
yennefer: yennefer’s whole backstory revolves around defining who she is and defying the people who mistreated her and told her she was nothing. canonically yennefer of vengerberg is the story of the successful self-made woman... her life as janka she would rather forget, no one calls her by that name, and no one ever would because its not who she is nor who i think she ever was.
shes incredibly strong-willed and knows what she wanted from life but some things are terrifying to reach out for, like love and acceptance. yennefer has a conflict with love and being loved because that was never a safe topic for her ... (also sapkowski handled this specifically poorly imo, but:) yennefer canonically struggles with being loved for who she is. i think she deals so much with her previous abuse and again, expectations from parents, and coming to terms with the fact that she survived it all. also this isnt even touching upon her arc regarding motherhood. wanting to give a child your everything and everything that you never had... the love and kindness that no one gave you...
ciri: ciri hesitated to ever identify with “girl” or “boy,” she’s also i think the representation of childhood in general, she’s naturally curious about gender presentation as she ages and just never really cares to commit to gender. i think she’d say she was a girl but only reluctantly bc she just doesn’t care much.
dandelion: [from his TV Tropes page:]
he’s an artist and a musician, he’s not gonna be cishet...
ok in a more serious context i think he’s a nonbinary guy, i think him being trans might explain why he has way more friendships than relationships with family members. dandelion, like yennefer, is also someone that had to define who he was for himself, i mean for one his stage persona of dandelion is entirely an artist’s creation/hyperbole of himself, i think he also had to think abt his inner identity too
his gender is also just “your friend that comes to your house and eats all ur chips and drinks all ur beer and passes out on top of you on the couch”
milva: ok unfortunately i currently think milva is the token non-trans friend (she’s nonbinary just doesnt think of herself as trans) but it’s only because her major arc in baptism of fire revolves around her pregnancy and miscarriage and just bc she is not trans doesn’t mean she doesn’t go through her own difficult struggling process surrounding her womanhood. she struggles enormously throughout the series and in her backstory with defining herself between two rigid identities: the feminine maria and the cutthroat milva. in her talk with geralt, she reveals how she feels trapped between these two identities and feels like they cannot coexist. i feel like she’s a nonbinary/gender non-conforming butch* lesbian whose struggles with sexuality intersect her struggles with gender and what it means to her to be a gnc woman. also you have to consider that milva was raised in a small village in lower sodden so she understood gender in the very strict roles ascribed to men and women, so she felt like she couldn’t be a woman unless she was this very traditional idea of what a woman is “supposed to be like,” which she’s both been trying to shape herself to be and also running away from simultaneously. she learns to accept herself within the hansa bc they love and support her for who she is, and she doesn’t need to be strictly feminine or masculine to be understood by them
* i know the terms nonbinary and gnc and butch didn’t exist in the 1260s tyvm, i’m just saying this as how i interpret her in a modern context
regis: gender is a human sociological construct so basically don’t ask him unless you’re prepared to listen for 20 minutes. vampires can exist noncorporeally so they can exist without gender, also i hc the telepathic vampiric language is nongendered as it’s a transmission of pure thought, will, and force, so it doesn’t even use any grammar. i also hc that vampires just appear the way they feel in terms of appearance and age (e.g., regis at around 300 when he died still looked 25 bc he was as stupid as a 25 year old, now he’s calmer and understands more, so he looks middle-aged). when chilling out with humans regis will be referred to as a man bc that’s just how he appears but it’s an identity he had to learn about and adopt, not something he was assigned. most vampires look androgynous anyways bc they just feel androgynous, how are you gonna feel a gender when you don’t know what a gender is... if you HAD to understand him with human labels / put it in a modern context (like if i was making an modern real life AU) i’d say he’s a nonbinary trans man.
cahir: much like geralt i think cahir’s story is one of living up to expectations, but cahir’s actually takes it a step further because his major motivation in his backstory is trying to prove to his mother that he can be a good son that will make her proud and gain honor for the family... he seeks validation from external sources but faces ruin when he learns that war is not the way to prove one’s prowess and skill
angouleme: shes trans and i simply say so bc shes very cool and funny and i dont think a cis person could be this cool and funny. also i think the story of a runaway teen who was abandoned by her biological family and found solace in a new family is both very good and featured in a lot of trans ppl’s narratives. she kind of exudes this “im finally at a point in my life where i’m safe and cared for, i can start HRT now, let’s gooOOoooOOooo” energy.
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for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D
delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon:
200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)
199: I was born in: 2003
198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself
197: My cellphone company is: Apple
194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.
193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″
192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of
191: My 1st car was: 94 Station Wagon, by request
190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig
189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby
188: My bed is: “made”
187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image
186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro
185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.
184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4 xbox
183: Piggy banks are: really useful
182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight
181: On my calendar: i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow
180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!
179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme
178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can.
177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)
176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno
175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count
174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!
172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while
171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major
170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: Nope.
168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered
167: Fate: To an extent
166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho
165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah
164: Heaven: Yes
163: Hell: Yes
162: God: Yeup
161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago
160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with
159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know
158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.
157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...
156: Orbs: ??? energies are real
155: Magic: vibes are real
[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs
153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus
152: Phone or Online: online
151: Red heads or Black haired: irdc but black hair bc i am Emo
150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye
149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
145: Night or Day: night
144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)
143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly
142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate
140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes
139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi
136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama
135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin
134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice
133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst
131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this
128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done
127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday
125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some
124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)
123: Yankees or Red Sox: what
[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already
121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?
120: Gay Marriage: be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah
119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself
118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby
117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad
116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this
115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy.
114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )
113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books
112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif
111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?
110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.
109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so
108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly
107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me
106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition.
105: My family: disgusting
104: The future: the future doesn’t exist
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this
102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed
100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying
99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out
98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons
97: Swam in a pool: last week
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude
93: Broke a bone: never, somehow
92: Got a peircing: nope
91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow
90: Texted: just now
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat
87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence
85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has
84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here.
83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini
80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band?
79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother
76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy
74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)
73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring
72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way
71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer
70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me
69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog
68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them
66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie
65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)
64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them
63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie
62: My School: is trash but the band pops off
61: My Car: old, fast, clean
60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad
59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six
58: Your hair color is: blonde
57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec
56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube
55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well.
52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told
51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.
50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc
49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO
48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?
47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”
46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson
41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.
40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet
39: I would like to move to: new zealand
38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows
[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: nerds
36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt
35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard
34: State visited: california
33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk
32: Athlete: what is sport
31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies
30: Actress: i do not consume media
29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon
28: Band: fall out boy
27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)
26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man
25: TV show: supernatural...
24: Movie: big hero 6
23: Website: tumblr or youtube
22: Animal: snow leopard
21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast
20: Holiday: christmas
19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow
18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)
17: Magazine: i do not condume media
16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book
15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey
14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience
13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega
12: Thing to cook: pancakes
11: Food: pizza or shushi
10: Restaurant: chiplote
9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station
8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc
7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it
6: Flower: Hydrangea
5: Color: orange
4: Talk show host: cecil palmer
3: Comedian: john maulaney
2: Dog breed: yes
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)
That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D
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hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement
also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes
my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time
started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still
also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not
speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine
what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it
they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing
speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/
tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold
i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know.
when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol
like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe
well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao
uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me
tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing
uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip
i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys
well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha
hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all
wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done
#not as long as i thought it'd be!!! i don't have many engaging stories to say lol and like i said. not here to get. sedimental#that unfortunate Lightning Round incident lmfao......rip my ass. it was fine i was just like. [screams inside]#god.......what a uhh six and a half years six and a half years are. s/o to. Lars#oh i never ''more on this later'''d that one point. what a tragedy right lmao. i was just like. ppl Can simply watch the eps in order tho...#a concept i was not into lmfao. ess em aitch. i was never here for Lore okay
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i dreamt that i went to (signed up for??) an introductory programme in Leiden for ppl doing some study for future cops bc i had telekinetic and mind powers so i could make the teacher do embarrassing stuff and break havoc lol. but when i was there, it turned out to be some literature thingy and i missed some books which were necessary for the course so i couldnt fully participate. we also slept there and i accidently kept a bottle of mayonnaise by my bedside? i still used mind control to make the teacher do embarrassing stuff even if i wasnt sure what the students were planning on doing or what this programme was meant for.
also, i just realized i also dreamt about my grandmas and other family being in my parents home, which was a diff one from their real home, and one grandma was still very demented as irl but we still had fun nonsensical conversations and she made t-shirt designs by making little mind maps on a large sheet of paper and family was gonna get those printed on shirts? and my other grandma was complaining abt not liking how my parents' home looks, as she never likes anything anyway, but she still acted nice, in a way.
anyway, i was trying to push through this difficult programme where i bullshitted my way through every question (mainly through mind control so ppl forgot they were asking me) and a person i hung out w there just naturally bullshitted through it too, but later on that person was @yourspookyginger , who was standing outside having a smoke?? and we decided to escape the school bc i had enough of the programme. i wanted to dress up for it but it looked like everything had rolled through the ground: the skirt (from my old vampire knight cosplay) i wanted to wear had shit on it, my coat had moss on it and there was stuff in my hair too. i actually already eecaped earlier on in the dream and took an alternative route, but i think i escaped again bc this part of the dream replayed or something.
also i dreamt smth abt a bunch of men sitting at a table in a restaurant for some tv show, where they had to find out what the conflict was in a married couple, who were two old men, one with white hair and the other with white hair with red tips. i dont remember anything significant beside that except for how the environments in the dream looked
ALSO i think it was in the same dream and i think some ppl also drove past a macdonalds, then went into it and had to go to the toilet, which you had to enter through this square hole in the ground and the restrooms were 90° slanted so you had to walk on the floor downward and when someone was done peeing, someone else came up and said 'i cant move very well so im using the disabled toilets', which were just the tiles at the back / bottom of the room, so he peed straight down the hole and the rest was like 'oh my god this place needs to make a better design for this bc i dodnt not know that was a pee wall' dgskggks
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BabyGirl 10.0
NOTES:
♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts okay more like 15 parts? lol ♥ 3.4k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ I wrote the thing about socks without even thinking about Niall’s socks obsession (just because one of my daughters used to love socks sooo much) and then I remembered so I added something about it haha! ♥ im so sorry it took so long, really. i will try to update quicker next time! ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate.
♥ PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6 // PART 7 // PART 8 // PART 9
10.0 SHOPPING & PRINCESS THINGS
HIM
I felt a bit disoriented when I woke up. The sun peaked through the living room windows and I could hear the tv in the background. I groaned low, sensing it was way too early to even think of getting up, but finally sighed and opened my eyes slowly. I felt someone move against me and gripped her tighter, pulling her closer to me. She let out a low whimper and it made me smile fondly. I turned my head to look at her sleeping, her mouth slightly open and her hair a mess, and it made my heart twist. A bunch of memories rushed through my mind and I brought my hand to move her hair out of her face. I could keep pretending I didn't love her, but I would just be lying to myself, and I was pretty much the only person who still believed my lies.
I let the tip of my finger slide on her jaw until her chin and it made the left corner of her lips move up. She moved her shoulder closer to her face and whimpered again, her eyes fluttering open slowly. They met mine and I smiled more as she did the same.
"Morning." she breathed, licking her lips.
"Morning." I replied just as low. "Slept well?"
She smiled more and stretched herself and for some reason, I felt suddenly endeared by the way she woke up, stretching her arms up and squirming slightly the rest of her body as a low groan escaped her lips. But It's only when she turned on the side and her arm wrapped around my chest that my heart jumped in my chest.
"Surprisingly, yes." she pointed out, looking up at me. "Your couch is amazing."
She was so close and my eyes roamed on her face, letting thoughts and memories invade me the way I never let them before. For once, I was making the choice I wanted, and not the one I knew I needed to make. I was allowing myself to go against what I thought everyone else wanted to do something I desperately needed and I was sure I wouldn't regret it for a second. I bent down slightly, brushing my lips against hers. They immediately curled and I chuckled, pressing my lips firmly on hers.
"Mommy, I'm hungry."
The voice made both of us jump and I instantly remembered the sound of the television playing when I woke up. It should have been a hint that Chelsea was awake but it simply didn't come to mind at that moment.
Her mom sat up and I did the same as she tried to comb her hair with her fingers. I was nervous, not really sure of what our daughter had heard or seen, and I cursed at myself mentally. Just yesterday, we had decided to start again but not tell Chelsea to be sure not to hurt her and the first thing we did was going against that, even if it wasn't intentional.
"Mommy!" she repeated in a whiny voice, making me raise my eyebrows.
"Chelsea." I replied without thinking. "Mommy just woke up, so give her some time okay?"
The confidence in my tone surprised everyone in the room, especially me, and I held my breath, a bit scared I would be told to mind my own business. They both stared at me, blinking a few times, and my daughter finally sighed, turning back to the television.
"Okay uncle Niall."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned to my girlfriend (the thought made my heart jump in my chest) who was sending me a fond smile that I quickly returned. She brought her hand to my cheek and I felt a shiver cross my whole body when her fingertips brushed on my jaw.
"You're gonna be good at this." she whispered before getting up and walking to the kitchen.
We made toasts and eggs in silence, just moving together in my kitchen like we were used to cook together all the time. It was easy to be around her, just like it felt natural for the three of us to be under the same roof, and when we all sat at the table to eat, I started wondering when was the last time I felt that degree of happiness in my life.
Of course, there was always the shows, and the fans, and the recording, but feeling this happy in my own personal life was definitely on a different level.
"So Chelsea, you remember we're going at the mall today to buy you new clothes?"
Her face illuminated and it made me grin. I always thought kids hated shopping, especially for clothes. Clearly, it depended of the kid, and I had to stop being surprised at how special Chelsea was. I was way past thinking it was just my biased ass who imagined that she was unique. She had done nothing but surprise and endear me since day one.
"I will be able to pick dresses?" she asked in a high tone full of hope.
"Yes, of course."
"And and and hats?" she kept going. "AND SOCKS?"
The last word made me chuckle and I turned to her mother, my eyebrows raised up.
"Socks?" I mouthed, making her smile more as she nodded. "She likes socks?"
The thought of my own socks collection made my lips curl even more and i shook my head. I enjoyed discovering that we had things in common even if I didn't see her grow up. I guess it was a way for me to feel closer to her in a sense.
"But first, we have to go back home to get changed." she pointed out, taking me out of my thoughts. "We shouldn't stay in yesterday's clothes."
Chelsea nodded a bit exaggeratedly and jumped down the chair. I watched them leave to the bathroom to clean and I decided to go change too.
My room was almost cold, making a shiver run up my spine. I was happy she fell asleep in my arms on the couch and that thought made me smile. I quickly emptied my pockets, placing everything on my bedside table but held my breath when I noticed the silver heart again. I stared at it for a few seconds, swallowing the lump in my throat as the memory of it came back to my head. It was a gift for our anniversary and I made the vow to surprise her with every gift. This time, though, it was cheesy and I knew it, but I preferred to see it as romantic. I noticed she was not wearing the key that made a pair with the heart anymore and I couldn't hide that it was hurting me a bit but at the same time, I couldn't blame her for trying to forget. I put new pants on but slipped the heart in my pocket again, wondering if I should bring it up or not. I didn't have much time to think when I heard them get out of the bathroom and search for their coats.
We made a quick stop at their place and I waited for them in the car, slightly nervous about how the afternoon would go. I hadn't had a girlfriend in so long I could barely remember what it was like. That thought hit me hard and reminded me of that conversation I had with Louis, when he was looking for my watch. I meant almost everything I told him on that day, except when I said I had never been in love, but now that I had decided to try with her again, I felt completely different. It's crazy how only a few days can change everything. Or perhaps it was my daughter that changed me. Either way, I felt new, and It was a permanent change.
"Okay Chelsea, where do you want to start?"
My daughter looked around, her eyes roaming on all the stores and she pressed her lips together, moving them quickly from left to right as she pondered in silence.
"Dresses. I want to start with dresses." she affirmed with conviction, making me smile.
I was not really surprised as she seemed to have a keen interest in princess dresses and we made our way to a specific store I was not even aware existed before today. My eyebrows raised when I noticed all the pink and I slipped my hands in my pockets, playing with the small silver heart hidden in the right one. I felt out of place and I was not sure why but I simply followed them until a very specific section. Chelsea chose a few dresses to try on and when they got closer to the dressing rooms, she turned around and looked up at me.
"I want you to help me."
My girlfriend let out of a chuckle and bent down to her level to look at her.
"I don't think Niall's at ease yet." she explained kindly. "I'll help you and you can show him all the dresses you picked, is that okay?"
She stared in her mom's eyes and simply nodded before turning to me again. "I'll show you all of them!"
She rushed in a room and I let out a chuckle again at how endearing and incredible she was. They both disappeared behind the door and I waited a few minutes for them to get out. Chelsea walked out first and turned on herself as soon as she stepped out, making the bottom of her dress dance around her. It was pink with some white sparkles and my smile grew again. It only left when she turned to the mirror and I noticed the necklace she was wearing. A simple key with a purple gem laying nicely around her neck could be clearly seen on her reflection and I held my breath. I thought my girlfriend had gotten rid of it when we weren't together but she actually kept it to give it to our daughter and the gesture made me emotional. I swallowed the feelings threatening to burst out but it still invaded my whole body, bringing an unknown until now sensation inside me. I didn't know if it was love, endearment, gratitude or happiness but it felt like a mix of all of those.
"I love your necklace, Chelsea." I finally managed to let out after clearing my throat.
My girlfriend stopped moving and looked up at me in the mirror, her reflection staring at me. I couldn't quite decipher her expression but I didn't want her to feel bad about it and I sent her a fond smile. It took her a few seconds but her traits eventually softened and she smiled back at me with a relieved sigh.
"Thank you!" Chelsea answered, making my gaze move down. "It's from my daddy!"
My heart twisted in my chest and I swallowed an emotional lump for the second time. Knowing my girlfriend told our daughter about me, even without telling her who I was, made me happier than I thought it would.
After half an hour, she had picked the dress she wanted and I watched as my girlfriend took her card from her purse. I grabbed her wrist gently and her eyes met mine.
"Please, let me."
We looked intensely at each other for a while without even blinking and she nodded slowly, licking her lips. I knew that was not what she brought me here for but I wanted to do something more for my daughter, and also for her mother. I didn't know if she struggled a lot or not, but I knew it hadn't been easy on her and I was ready to do my part and help in any way I could.
My girlfriend bent down and told Chelsea something but her voice was too low for me to hear. When we walked out, my daughter turned to me with a huge smile.
"Thank you uncle Niall!" she let out a bit too loud. "I will think about you every time I wear it!"
At that point, what really hit me was not how polite she was, or how grateful she seemed to be that I paid for her dress. What hit me was how bad I wanted her to call me 'daddy" instead of 'uncle'. I wanted her to know I was her father, and that I was sorry for being absent all those years. I wanted to tell her that I loved her even if I didn't know her, or even that she was alive. I wanted her to see me like a daughter sees her father. I didn't just want her to know that she had a father that loved her, I wanted her to know it was me, and that in only a fraction of second, she had became my world and would be forever my priority from now on.
I swallowed an other lump of emotions and simply grinned.
"You're welcome, princess." I bowed down low enough. "I'm honored."
HER
Watching them interact was more amazing every time. There was a bond forming between them and seeing it tighten in front of me was incredible. I almost felt like I didn't belong and although I loved spending time alone with Niall, being the three of us together brought me a kind of happiness I hadn't felt before.
We kept following Chelsea through the mall, checking the stores she was interested in and refusing to buy every single thing she asked me whenever we entered a new place. The dress was a gift but she really needed new pants and t-shirts. It took a long time to pick tops and bottoms that actually matched when we finally left the last store, Niall and I were not only exhausted but also a bit annoyed by all the shopping we had made. On the other hand, Chelsea still had a lot of energy. We stopped for fast food and when we were about to walk out of the restaurant, Niall stopped by a small vending machine. Chelsea and I stopped too and walked back to him as I frowned. He put a few coins in it and turned the handle. We watched as something fell and he bent down to grab it, opening it quickly and handing it to our daughter.
Her face seemed to illuminate and he got down on one knee, smiling to her. I couldn't help but feel endeared by the scene in front of me. I knew what kind of boyfriend Niall was, but I didn't know what kind of father he could be. I now realized that he was just as adorable.
"A princess deserves a pretty ring, don't you think?"
She smiled and nodded as he took the plastic ring and grabbed her hand, slipping it on her middle finger. The ring was slightly too loose but it didn't seem to bother Chelsea at all. Her lips curled as much as they physically could and she finally threw herself into Niall's arms. He seemed surprised at first but he took her into a warm embrace and closed his eyes.
"Thank you."
Her voice was low, almost a whisper, and it was surprising I even heard it. Niall smiled more, his eyes still closed, and at that exact moment, I realized something. I always thought Chelsea needed a father. It was in the way she asked me about him, and how it seemed to be something missing in her life. But as I watched Niall interact with her and giving her all the love she deserved, I realized that he needed her just as much as she needed him. Maybe more, even.
"You're welcome my princess."
The fact that I denied him four years of this made me feel even more guilty and I held my breath, trying to calm the erratic beatings of my heart. If only I could go back in time...
It kept bothering me through the whole day, and the feeling of culpability became harsher by the minute. It had never really left me since the day we saw Niall again but now that I was completely aware of all the wrongs I did and pain I caused, it was even worse. I kept both of them from so much love and happiness with each other through these years and I clearly would never forgive myself for it. I knew Niall would never forgive me either and It took me all my strength not to start crying. Would Chelsea ever forgive me? She probably wouldn't be mad at me when she'll find out but in a few years, she'll be able to understand exactly what I did and thinking about my own daughter hating me was something that scared me more than I thought it would.
I kept quite until we were sitting in Niall's kitchen once again. I played with my food, not feeling hungry at all, while Niall and Chelsea were having a discussion. He was telling her about his socks collection and she excitedly asked to see it. I stopped listening to them, lost in my thoughts, and jumped slightly when I heard my name.
"Are you okay, love?"
Chelsea laughed and I looked up, watching as Niall's eyes moved to her.
"What makes you laugh, Chels?"
"You called her 'love'" she pointed out, making a small smile form on my lips. "That means you love her."
She was still young and didn't really understand it was a simple nickname and that Niall used it with many people. The nuances were not as obvious for her as they were for us. I chuckled low but remained silent, curious to find out how Niall would get out of this one. I knew he was very good at twisting things around to be sure he wouldn't have to answer a question he didn't like. I leaned my elbow on the table, placing my chin in my hand, and stared at him.
"Maybe I do, Chelsea." he simply said. "In fact, I do love her."
I held my breath, my heart now beating so hard against my rib cage I felt like it was going to just fly out. My brain had a hard time processing his words and my lips parted slightly in shock.
"And I also love you, Chelsea."
I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses and inhaled deeply, turning to look at my daughter who was smiling.
"I love you too, uncle Niall."
He brought his hand to her cheek and caressed it gently before raising his eyebrows and pointing her plate with his chin.
"Are you done?"
She nodded slowly and yawned, rubbing her eyes with a sigh. It took me all my strength to move but I finally got up and turned Chelsea's chair my way.
"Bed time, we had a long day."
"Nooooo! I want to watch a movie!" she whined.
It would normally make me smile but I was too startled to be completely normal. I knew it would take me a few minutes to let everything that just happened sink in and I was barely aware of what I was doing.
"It's late. You can watch a movie tomorrow." I pointed out. "Do you want to sleep here again tonight?"
Chelsea seemed to think and finally nodded just as Niall got up too, his chair making an annoying noise.
"I'll put her to bed if you want."
Our daughter rushed to him and threw herself in his arms, making him laugh. I looked up and our eyes met. He sent me a fond smile and I felt my heart melt and my lips curl. I had so many questions that needed immediate answers, so many thoughts I wanted to share, and so many memories that rushed back to my brain.
"Yea, thank you."
He winked at me and I smiled more. I remained motionless, standing in the middle of the kitchen, a bit overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the past few days. I kept wondering if he meant what he had said a few minutes earlier and if he did, what exactly did it imply? In the end, I just shook my head. Niall loved me, that's what he said. And I loved him, I never stopped. There was nothing to process or comprehend. I let the truth flood my insides and swallowed hard as tears invaded my eyes. Even in my wildest dreams, I hadn't allowed my imagination to go that far.
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