#im not disgusting am i disgusting i swear im not
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i cant fucking stand her oh my GOD
#ramblings#i cleaned up the entire fucking kitchen while shes eating her dinner that we were suppoed to do together#and she promises. she PROMISES that she will clean up the TINY FUCKING PILE of things that i left for her to do#literally like 5 things#she cleans up one of them#and then makes more of a mess.#that i have to clean up.#and then when i ask her why she didnt i wasnt even rude#she acts like its my fault. and im the bad person#and shes so fucking condescnedngin oh my god she acts exactly like every bully ive ever fucking had#and then lies to our dad that she totally definitely cleaned it up 🥰as i am in the middle of cleaning it up#will i get an apology? hell the fuck no!! but she ill probably knock on my door in 5 minues to tell me about her FUCKING ice skating#I DONT GIVE A FUCK OH MY GOD#this seems so petty but its stuff like this every day#you guys dont udnerstand the way she talks to me#the way she acts#she wont touch anything ive touched she looks at me like im disgusting#im not disgusting am i disgusting i swear im not#ive asked my parents ive asked my friends they say im not gross and dusgusting and unheygenic what am i donig wrong why does she think this#whywhwywhwywhwywhwy#why does she hate me so much#i hate myself so much#every time i interact with her it makes me hate myself
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
wanted to experiment a bit with my art today !! yaaay !!! ¥_^
...
can anyone else hear those bells ominously tolling in the distance ?
★ version without text under cut :
★ lyrics : "Melancolia" – Caravan Palace
#im thinking about changing shrig's design up a bit#tbh . in my eyes . these little ears look a lot sillier on him than the other ones#and uhh i also didn't completely FORGET to draw the crown or anything . i left it out COMPLETELY INTENTIONALLY and for a GOOD LORE REASON#I SWEAR !!!!#oh yeah the background is on fire if i didn't make that obvious enough#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#its not exactly canon to the au but whatever . its whatever#who even gives a shit#im too tired to care anymore#i can't even make a good piece of art for the life of me#i know im not supposed to base my worth as an artist around the engagement i get from my posts#but seeing so many cool people on this platform make great art and then looking at mine ...#im utterly disgusted with myself ...#sigh#i was supposed to be studying for a test and writing an assignment that's like a week overdue#and what am i doing ?#drawing pointless doodles that i should have discarded of the moment they crossed my mind ...#i just want a god damn break from my life ...#i want to disappear#genuinely#dhmis shrignold#shrignold the butterfly#dhmis hv shrignold#tw blood#cw blood#tw fire#cw fire
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
me watching the Knuckles series somehow getting good reviews and high praise and knowing full well that this shit show will only allow for more lazy, mediocre at best bullshit to infect this series as we now get to watch these beloved characters and stories get turned into a laughing stock once again.
#g o s h#i am#so mad#like#i dont understand#please tell me what you liked about this show#i would love to study your brain#i felt so disgusting after i finished that show#like something visceral inside me popped#knuckles series#sonic#im sorry for the swearing but i am mad and i dont want to let them get away with this#is this really what you want?#is this really what you want this series and franchise to look like?#this is highest bar for you?#listen i am all for finding the silver lining#but this is not worth it man
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
How do I write non queer characters. Like actually. I've been trying to make my main character as straight as possible (while admittedly leaving room for Sapphic Speculation™) and I just can't. Wdym she can't go on a 4 paragraph rant about how gorgeous the other female lead is and how trying to draw her would be sacrilege. What.
#queer#sapphic#the gays#writing#books#chaotic academia#its so difficult#idk how to feel#should she be gay or should she be ambiguous for my safety or should i give her a male love interest#i am not going to give her a male love interest nevermind that mental image is disgusting#that felt like prejudice#im not against the straights i swear- this lady just isnt one of them
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
what if i do my english project on reasons why we would choose the bear?
what then?
#this is because im so passionate about all the wrong in the world needing to end#and to make the disgusting guys in my class uncomfortable#they legit FUCKING LAUGHED when watching a documentary about a women escaping war in Syria#and right after she almost died#i swear im gonna snap and punch them#“im not afraid of god#i am afraid of men“#men or bear#sa#tw sex assault#this would go towards my final grade#but my teacher is kinda a dick and might yell at me for being 'inappropriate'
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
You ever sit behind a girl in class and want to gnaw on her bones and spit her out in the most sexual way possible
#i am so sorry#this is so disrespectful#i swear i see past her looks#shes also so hardworking and sweet and its like that scene in fleabag when the priest asks her what she does#ik if she ever knew what I was thinking she’d be disgusted#but if she ever wanted to experiment im so totally down#lesbian
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Only took a week and a half, but guess who finally actually feels sick with covid 😔✌️
#i should know by now that my specific flavour of chronic illness = a delay in symptoms#i *should know this* by now#ive only lived with it since 2016#i shouldnt be this shocked#force i feel disgusting#jesus *fucking* christ this is so *stupid*#wait a moment#vent post#realised i probably ought to tag that...#but ugh#at least now i know what the strange 'new' fatigue ive been feeling is 🙄#and now i know why i cant seem to write#ughhhhhh#>:(#i swear im fine really i am#i just havent been *sick* sick since 2020#completely forgot what it was like#i would take the worst of my usual symptoms over this *any* day of the week#blegh#my one consolation is that this means i can continue reading fic to my heart's content#and that i *dont* have to quote unquote go back to work#(work being. writing. and whatever else i usually do)#(nit that i had the cognitive function for any of that before this anyway.....)#ugh#okay thats all my complaining for the day thanks for listening#im sure ill be back to normal soon#in the meantime: im genuinely going to compile a superb@t rec list#not sure when exactly at this point in time#but soon#love yall
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i didn't sleep since yesterday 2pm but at least i have a good meal
#i swear theres a purpose to this#i need to get my sleep schedule back to normal. if i dont sleep at all until tonight at a reasonable hour i will fall asleep immediately#and therefore; sleep schedule restored. boom#so far to survive i have drank the most disgusting coffee of all time (w/ water bc all the milk in the house went bad) and i am now eating#Food#(eggs potatoes like the ones in little squares that you put in the pan and rice w/ soy sauce)#i will survive i can do it#i believe in me#ive also started watching cdawgva again#but choosing the video in which he eats a ton of what looks like the tastiest fucking thing in the universe was a bad choice#im kinda dying recently bc the asian food place i love is closed for some reason so i cant go get food there. pain and suffering#anyways ill go back to eating adn watching connor eat
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know I shouldn't give these kinds of people the time of day or any attention but I'm just like ... How do you think like. How do you think like this. what is your thought process of " it's a fictional character so they can't be a child or teenager " like ??? I think they're just trying to defend ns//fw of children because hurr duhh uhhh durr fiction doesn't affect reality I can draw horribly disgusting things of a 14 year old character because it doesn't hurt anyone it's not a REAAL child !!1!!
#please consult therapy and or talk to someone in real life about this!#ask your family! ask your friends! tell your co-workers hey i drew p//rn of a child but its fictional so i think it's okay#see how other people react.. youd think all ghe negative reactions theyre getting now would make tjem think oh yaah! i really am drawing#ns//fw of a teenage kid huh. well. yeah that is bad. even if theyre not a real teenager its still fucking disgusting and weird too#the fucking self//cest layer is even worse#do YOU want to make out with yourself at 14??? huh?? do ya?? if the answer is yes Please seek professional help#god. 27 years old#I'm done ranting now about this sorry i swear i try not to get into drama but there's just some shit that just disgusts and disturbs me so#badly#they probably won't get banned blocking and moving on is the best but hey! i made people aware who might have been following to stay away#anyways im gonna draw for my AU i said I'd post#at least the og post has like. barely any notes#ain't no one like that weird shit man you're just fucking disgusting 👎#OKAY im done#had to get shit off my chest#i did send anons before i could have been off anon but my fucking . broken ass blogs
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
*
#how are y’all enjoying your fruit fly free summer 🤠#since they’re all taking up residence in my fucking apartment (i am in the process of cleaning a half year’s depression mess$#the kitchen is easily absolutely no contest the worst fucking room#it is so disgusting#i was finally able to stuff all the trash and loose rot into contractor bags and toss those in the dumpster#but the sink is so goddamn full of FILTH and the dishes are COVERED in it#and taking out all that trash did fucking wonders it is so much better already#but there are still so fucking many left in there#and i’m also attempting apple cider vinegar traps and those smell so fucking RANK#i swear to you my kitchen smells like a barn but a barn without animals in it. like the animals are running around outside and it’s just lef#t with putrid shit stank and bugs and YEULHCK!!!!#but the good news is that that’s motherfucking progress and i am gonna keep kicking ass and scrubbing everything and i am gonna have a nice#clean house!!!!!!!!! (but maybe that’s s pipe dreamm. everybody’s got that something! we can’t fix with love or moneyy. even when it pulls#me under! get so high that it just seems funnyy. how many times can i fake it before it breaks me i’m not okay. i’m not okay! everyone feels#like they’re crazy. why can’t i say it? i’m not okay. i’m not okay!)#<- y’all should listen to that it is an absolute banger!!!! i’m not ok! by chaz cardigan#shut up im holding the trashtalking breadstick
1 note
·
View note
Text
Was that man and his wife looking at my . . .
#dora daily#what the heck. my butt is basically flat bro#I swear to GOD I can’t with this anymore#like guys what the actual hell#I’ve spent sm time sitting doing work and stuff that my thing is flat now what were they looking at#sorry if this is tmi or uncomfortable but you can only imagine how I FEEL#I felt rlly miserable after that and couldn’t think straight during my outing#:(#I wasn’t even bending down to the lower shelves of the shopping centre btw#I was just slightly turned to the shelves but I was turning around and all I saw was that man looking downwards at you know#🥲#this would never happen in a Muslim country btw it’s always the westerners#it’s always in the Coles store istg#the other time I went there some guy was almost completely on me . . .#ALWAYS IN THAT SPECIFIC COLES STORE#as you can see I hate men exceptionally but anyone with attraction at all disgusts me#I don’t discriminate if you’re mlw or wlw or mlm :3 all attraction is DISGUSTING.#wlw is NOT safe from my disgust either despite how I talk it up like Eris ?! virtue ?! PUH LEASE#I hate that my first wlw ppl I’ve met ever were groomers like#I’ve not by that time even been groomed by a male how was a woman my first experience getting groomed when men exist#AND NOT EVEN JUST ONE WOMAN IT WAS TWO AND THEY WERE FRIENDS#how comical is that 😭#nah wait I just remembered some man was also looking at my … top once LIKE WHAT#WHAT#I DONT UNDERSTAND#ME ?!#why must ppl sexualise me sm im literally the most unsexual person to exist in the history of existence istg#I VANNOT believe I am even saying this but I literally have zero appeal in that …. regard#I TAKE PRIDE IN THAT CAUSE WTH WHY WOULD I WANT THAT#or at least that’s what I think … idk how ppl see me bc I don’t even understand that facet of life and existence
0 notes
Text
i dont like taking surveys usually but if it lets me give some scathing remarks to my shitty landlords then boy give me enough space for a fucking novel i WILL tell them to get their heads out of their asses
#you get 1.4 million in rent EVERY MONTH for this shit??#i swear there is an entire ant colony under my floorboards and like fifty spiders hanging around waiting to feast on them#i had to treat the place MYSELF#also why is the laundry room so fucking disgusting like ik its college students but what the fuck#just a WALL of lint in the lint catcher cover thing#and they all have like. brown dirt covering them and sand#and the place couldnt clean that shit up BEFORE we moved in??#the last place was cleaner at least even if they decided to replace all the laundry machines RIGHT AFTER THE SCHOOL YEAR STARTED#INSTEAD OF DOING IT DURING THE SUMMER WHEN NOBODY IS THERE#also the food situation is shit because why the hell is nothing really labelled#youve got one fridge with some like. gluten free cookies i guess#you (maybe) label whats vegan and gluten or dairy free on the online menu (not the physical labels??)#you only JUST started even labelling what your fucking desserts are#im not sure i trust your stale ass cereal let alone the ice cream machine#is it a good idea to have a self serve smoothie bar? probably fucking not but hey at least you tried to be cool#the music playing is obnoxious though#also just straight up dont reinforce quiet hours. in fact why not break them yourself. shitbags#hell knows no hatred like that of a person who has to deal with college students#also i can almost guarantee im one of the youngest here#i am so tired of being the responsible one. i am so so tired#this isnt about my landlord anymore#genuine-fucking-ly why do you all wear shoes in the house and why do you put said shoes on the table we put food on and why did you leave#your nasty little crumbs all over the couch and floor last night and why dont you clean your hair off the sink after brushing and why dont#you wash your dishes or at least rinse the food off instead of leaving them by the shared sink for days#and why dont you stop coming home stinking of weed and watching tiktoks loud as hell and closing doors like you are slamming them#and why dont you fucking communicate your problems to my goddam face and why dont you tell us before you start a fucking hair business#in the living room???#and why has nobody though to clean the gotdam microwave. why have your meatball bits been in there for like. 3 weeks#'just tell them if you have a problem with it' WHO LEAVES MEAT BITS IN THE MICROWAVE AFTER SPILLING IT???#i wouldnt have a problem if you had some common fucking sense
1 note
·
View note
Text
simultaneously mending my whole body into one pile of flesh and tearing myself open for all to see
#guys im mentally healthy i swear#i am trapped inside my own filthy disgusting corrupted body#and i have to either free myself or bury myself deep enough to never feel me there#vent
0 notes
Text
BREAK MY HEART AND I SWEAR IM MOVIN’ ON WITH YOUR FAVORITE ATHLETE - LN4
summary : You weren’t joking when you wrote the lyric ‘Break my heart and I swear I'm movin' on with your favorite athlete’. What a perfect opportunity when that same athlete falls right into the palm of your hands with your ex’s burning gaze directed straight at you.
listen up : reader wrote ‘good graces’ ! flustered lando! protective lando! sorry to anyone named nick.
words : 1519
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Need a shot of your strongest!” I slap my hand down on the bar, my friends around me and looking worried. I’m fine! I’m absolutely fine!
Is my ex currently across the room from me? Yes! But I'm cool, I'm calm, and I'm collected.
I down the bitter liquor, pushing back my hair and taking a breath. “Fuck him.” I mumble as my friend's hand goes to my arm. I’m completely over him, but every time my eyes land on that jerk I can’t help but remember how I caught him fucking his assistant.
Jackass wasn’t even talented enough to have an assistant, I should have known.
I start dancing, forgetting about my hatred and focusing on my friends. The true loves of my life! I throw my hands up, ‘Cupid's Chokehold’ playing as we all sing around and laugh.
I hear the mumbling and whispering instantly, a new ground walking into the exclusive club my friends pulled me into. My best friend squeals, grabbing my arm, “That’s Lando Norris!”
I raise a brow, still dancing and turning to see the man and his own group. I recognize a few from when my ex would get up at 4AM to see their races.
Formula 1 drivers have a reputation… most worse than any other soccer or hockey player. I watch Lando, a drink in his hand as his eyes scan the crowd.
The reputation makes sense, a face like that doesn’t just shrug off girls.
I turn before he can see me. He doesn’t know who I am, I doubt any F1 driver knows a borderline inappropriate pop star.
“You have to talk to him!” She screams, jumping up and down in her heels now.
“No!” I laugh and think she’s going to drop it until she gives me an annoyed look.
“That’s hypocritical!” I laugh, how the fuck is that hypocritical? I am forced to realize what she’s referring to as I turn and see my ex standing in front of the driver.
He’s smiling like the idiot he is, asking for a photo and clearly going on for too long. Lando is his absolute favorite driver, I couldn’t escape his face for the two years I was dating my ex.
My friend's smile grows, and she starts singing. “Break my heart and I swear I'm movin' on with your favorite athlete!” she’s off key and definitely drunk, pushing my arm she laughs, “This is your fucking time! It’s your own words! He broke your heart babe!”
At her last words I frown, making up some excuse to get another drink. I look back at Lando as I walk back to the bar, my ex is still there but I catch Lando’s eye, accidentally sending him a disgusting look.
I rip my eyes away and order another drink. I sip on it, my legs crossed on a bar stool and my back against the counter as I watch my ex go back to his friends.
I know he sees me, and I'm grateful he hasn’t said anything. He’s an asshole and I'm upset that he’s ruining my night by his proximity to my friends and I.
“Do I know you?” The unfamiliar accent catches me off guard, looking away from my ex and up at Lando Norris. Shit.
“Um… No?” I sip my drink again, trying to ignore his arm resting behind me and how delicious he smells.
“So why were you death glaring at me?” I can’t help but laugh at this, his brow quirks when I do.
“I wasn’t! Not at you at least…” I look back to my ex, nodding, “I was glaring at him.”
“Well he must have done something really bad to you because that look was damn scary.” I bring my lips to my glass again, locking eyes with his that are so green, even in the club lights.
“He’s my ex.”
Lando looks genuinely surprised at this, “Your… ex?” he points and nod, “Yours? As in dating ex?”
“Yes. What other type of ex is there?”
Lando shrugs, eyeing him and shaking his head, “Sorry. I genuinely just don’t believe it! He’s…” He stops himself, like he realizes he’s actually speaking out loud, “Well you’re way out of his league! You’re fucking gorgeous, and honestly on my to-do list of the night.”
I raise a brow at this as his eyes go wide, “I mean I wanted to talk to you! Not in a creepy way! In a genuine way.” I turn towards him more and clock the sincerity in his voice, “So, i’m assuming you broke up with the dick?”
“He cheated on me.” Lando’s jaw drops at this, “Okay shut up now you’re just boosting my ego.”
“It deserves to be boosted! Fucking hell, asshole. Shouldn’t have let him take a photo.” He smirks at me and it makes my smile return, “You do look familiar though…”
“I’m a singer, Y/n L/n.”
He laughs, tapping his fingers against the counter, “I know you! My teammate's girlfriend is obsessed! You're the one with the funny lyrics.” By ‘funny’ he means horny as fuck.
I nod, “And you’re my ex’s favorite athlete.” He cringes at this.
“Not yours?”
“I know nothing about Formula 1.” I shrug as his hands go to his curls, “But I do know you.”
His smile widens at this, his eyes soft, “I like that.”
Lando is nothing like I imagined. I thought he would be annoying and honestly a dick, but instead he’s just flirty and actually hilarious.
He’s cute too, buys me a drink, moves his hand to the outside of my leg to pull down my dress that’s riding up my thigh.
Fuck those lyrics, I want him.
He’s funny and ridiculously stunning, “You know- once I mentioned that you were cute, not even hot or anything, and Nick didn’t talk to me for two hours!”
Lando scoffs, “That’s just rude.” he motions to his face, “Anyone could see i’m adorable.”
“Fuck, now i’m boosting your ego!”
He smiles, “You’re doing that by just looking at me.” He's a flirt and I love him for it.
He’s looking at me like I hung the moon. We just met and he’s leaning down to hear what I'm saying over the loud music, his hand never leaving me.
I reach up and twirl a piece of his hair around my finger, “I like your curls.”
“Thanks love…” the nickname comes out smooth and easy. Far too dangerous for someone I barely know and someone I really like.
He tells me about his travel schedule and how he likes my dress. I tell him where I live and when I tour… “I wanna see you perform.”
I laugh, his hand still on my leg, “I barely know you.”
“Easy fix. Come home with me tonight.” It’s straightforward and risky, yet very tempting. “I’ll let you know everything about me.”
I bite my lip as his eyes stray from mine, “Norris.” I say sternly as he nods, slowly looking back at my eyes with a cheeky look on his face.
“Yes or no, love? Break my heart, it’s fine!” He says dramatically as I laugh and roll my eyes, leaning away from him before his hand finds my waist and pulls me closer, “You don’t have to. I’m just offering…”
“Get me a water, then we’ll see.” His smirk is back and his hand lingers on me before walking down to where the barista is flirting with a pretty girl and not paying any attention to us.
I smile as he leaves, waving to my friends as they motion to text them and blow me a kiss. I’m still smiling when someone slides next to me.
“Y/n!” I know the voice instantly and it makes me feel sick. He’s beaming as if he is privileged to see me, which he is, but he shouldn’t look so happy.
“Nick.” I say, my smile gone and my warm and fuzzy feeling disappeared.
“I didn’t know you were here!” Liar. “How’ve you been?”
“You mean how have I been since I caught a girl sucking your limp dick?” I say with my brows raised, “Oh just peachy.”
His smile falters. Dickhead.
My actual savior returns, a head turning smile on his face until he sees my ex. Lando walks past him, not even sparing a glance and handing me my ice water.
“Ready to go?” His hand is warm on my hip, his gaze cold when looking at the man who stares at the two of us.
“Sorry… what?” Nick is genuinely frozen in place as I pop out of my seat, Lando gripping me with both hands now. Shit his hands are big.
“Mate��� she wrote it in a song.” He nods at him as I grin, a straw at my lips and giggle in my throat. Lando leans down close to my ear as we walk away. I can practically hear the smirk in his voice, “I’ll show you a real man.”
@//YOURUSERNAME
liked by landonorris, lilymunihe, and carlossainz…
yourusername i’m a woman of my word🤷🏻♀️
landonorris definitely lost a fan but gained the most important person in my life. i love you😘❤️
comments on this post have been restricted…
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 fic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando x you#lando norris x singer
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Smoke & Light: Part 1 [Plug!Az]
SUMMARY: Your ex-boyfriend gives you his dealers number, but you don’t expect for him to be so fine. And you certainly don’t expect him to be so goddamn flirty. (3.4k)
WARNINGS: descriptions and dealings of recreational drugs (weed), little bit of swearing, slight sexual themes and lots of shameless flirting. THIS IS A MODERN AU!!
A/N: the first part is here and I’m so excited!! Im still unsure how many parts this is going to be, but there’s a lot I want to happen in this series so probably (I’m guessing!!) six or seven, but we’ll see!! Anyway, I hope you enjoy <3
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Your patience was wearing thin. Very fucking thin. Those three grey dots mocked you as they bubbled at the bottom of the screen—disappearing and reappearing again—until they were replaced with another less than satisfying message.
Brandon: are you taking the piss? Why didn’t you just ask when you were here earlier?
You scanned the message over, swallowing back the groan at the idea of another potential argument. You needed to nip his attitude in the bud, you weren’t entertaining his bullshit anymore. Gnawing at the inside of your cheek, your fingers quickly typed a response.
You: I didn’t realise I was out until I got home. Can you get any or not? Just lmk
The dots appeared again after a few moments of silence, and you prepared yourself for the snarky remark he was most likely to give you, and took a deep breath to compose yourself in advance.
Brandon: no. I can’t get you any. Sort it out yourself for once.
There was no way in Hell you were going to let your frustrations show. Despite the pure anger and annoyance that began to bubble even more within you.
Brandon could be a lot of things. A liar. A cheat. And a fucking asshole. In all honestly, the only thing he was truly good for was the occasional above par fuck and the fact that his dealer had the best weed you’d ever smoked.
But when they were the only two good things he had going for him, it was hard to justify the disgusting behaviour he showed throughout almost your entire relationship. You broke up every few weeks as it was, but if you’d known about the cheating before, you would’ve left for good sooner.
Instead, you found out a year and half into the relationship, coming to the deafening conclusion that he had, in fact, never been faithful for a single moment of his adult life.
Fuck him. And fuck his shit sex. The weed, you could get yourself.
You: lmao ok. What’s his number?
A heartbeat after he read the text, he was calling you. And the moment you answered the call, he was his usual, un-charming self.
“What the fuck do you mean what’s his number?”
“Hello to you, too.” You murmured, tucking yourself under the blanket on your couch.
His clipped tone didn’t startle you, didn’t worry you about any form of consequences. He wasn’t scary, even when he tried to be. He was just a douche.
“What do you mean what’s his number?” He repeated himself, that agitation growing thicker and thicker with every word he spoke.
“How else am I supposed to get any?”
“Find your own dealer.”
He was being bitter now, pathetically so. You picked at the aged edges of your book, a novel you’d read five times over but one you couldn’t get enough of. Your love for it could be seen by the fading print of the front cover and the severely broken spine—despite how careful you tried to be with your readings.
“Brandon, I’m not going to find a random dealer. Your Azriel guy has good stuff and I know it’s safe. Besides, me going to the same person as you is not going to affect you in any way.”
He was silent for a moment, mulling over your words. Despite his dreadful personality and lack of love and care and compassion, he knew how little you knew about marijuana. He was the one that taught you to roll, after all.
You’d barely smoked before you met him, and on the rare occasions you did get high, it was usually in the form of gummy edibles your friends had. And you weren’t addicted or reliant on it in any way. You just enjoyed a smoke every now and then if you’d had a long day.
Alcohol had never been your favourite, and you much preferred to feel the chilled buzz from a joint than cradle a hangover for two days after a soirée.
“Fine. I’ll text you his number. Say Marco gave it to you, it’s a code he made up—had cops on him a while ago. He can be a bit of an ass, don’t let him shit talk you. Ask for a 3.5, he usually charges 40 for it. It’ll last you a couple weeks unless you’re planning on smoking heavy.”
It was easy to be pulled back in when he was like that. When he did the bare minimum of offering advice on things he knew you weren’t too sure on. But you were better than that now, smarter. You weren’t going to fall back into your old ways again.
Not with him. Not with anyone.
“I’m not. Thank you.”
The line went dead as soon as the words left your mouth and a few moments later, he texted you Azriel’s number. You would’ve appreciated a reminder of what you were supposed to ask for but at least you got his number. Small wins. You weren’t his responsibility anymore.
It took you a few minutes to figure out what to say, your fingers hovering over the keyboard as you typed and erased, typed and erased. Until you settled on ‘Is this Azriel?’ and finally sent the message.
Ten minutes passed and you didn’t get a response. Your nose was tucked back into your romance novel as you chewed on the drawstring of your hoodie. In all honesty, you could’ve quite easily slipped into a peaceful slumber under the warm golden glow of your lamps.
That was another thing Brandon couldn’t respect. Your No Main Light rule. The vibes were always immaculate with gentle warmth from lamps. The main light was not allowed on under any circumstances. You much preferred the cosy feeling of golden hues that accentuated the deep green leaves of your plants and vines that scattered the walls and crevices of your home.
Your phone chimed from your lap, a small surge of anxiety pulsing in your chest. You unlocked the screen and read over the message.
Azriel: depends who’s asking.
Ah, Brandon did warn you. You considered fucking the whole idea off. Maybe cracking open a bottle of wine and snuggling on the couch with a book or tv show would be better than having to meet this asshole, but the bottle of White Zinfandel wouldn’t give you the mellow buzz you wanted.
Not unless you had at least four glasses which was usually paired with a hangover the next day. Something you did not want to entertain. So, you bit the bullet and typed your reply.
You: y/n, got your number from Marco. You about?
The more you let your mind wander, the more you realised how little you knew. You had no clue how this sort of thing worked. Would he come to you? Your home? Would you meet at a location of his choice? Or would he just stash the weed somewhere for you to collect and you don't cross paths at all?
But the burning fire of the what-if anxiety was quickly trampled and extinguished when another text came through and instead of him deciding for you, you were given choices.
Azriel: sure, I can meet you at old tower in 20 if that’s good for you? If not I can drop to your location.
He didn’t seem as much of an ass now. No, quite the opposite. But you supposed that offer was something he probably gave to all new, female clients. If he truly was an ass or not, you couldn’t fault him for the consideration.
Old Tower was the old old watermill tucked slightly away in the centre of the city. It had been derelict for years, but due to its location—so close to all the necessities and right opposite the police station—no one ever tried to break in or set it alight like the many other derelict listed buildings had been in the past.
Even now, at almost midnight, that part of the city would still be bustling with city-natives and tourists alike. And you appreciated the safe and public meeting spot he suggested.
You: old tower in 20 is fine.
As quickly as you sent the message, you received another reply. A text describing his blue Mustang and his licence plate. You shook the nerves off as soon as they came. Azriel was respectful and well known. He dealt to make his money and that was that.
But the facts didn’t stop you from sharing your location with Brandon just in case, nor did it stop you from double checking you still had your little pepper spray clipped to your keychain.
The walk to the Old Tower wasn’t a bad one. There were many ways you could access it, most of them leading you through the city, but here were a few that hid you behind back roads and alleyways—those were routes you never took. Not on your own and certainly not in the middle of the night.
The air was still a bit sticky from the summer heat, and while the denim shorts you wore kept your body cool, you were grateful you kept on your hoodie—just that extra layer that protected your arms and shoulders from the chill of the breeze that your legs never seemed to experience.
It didn’t take long for you to reach the Old Tower, and it took even less time to spot the electric blue 2022 Ford Mustang. Small tufts of white smoke emitted from the exhaust as it sat in its standstill, headlights facing the opposite direction of what you came in, but you could still hear the engine humming from your short distance away.
You double checked the licence plate to the number Azriel texted you, and slowly made your way closer. While you didn’t know much about drop offs, deals, and weed in general, you did know the unspoken rules of picking up. And if you were picking up from someone in a vehicle, most people got inside for a few minutes before leaving.
Azriel must’ve noticed you from the rear view mirror because just as you approached the back of the car, the passenger door opened wide, inviting you in. You sucked in a breath but accepted the invitation, keeping your eyes forward as you settled into the warmth of the leather seat and closed the door shut.
You finally let your body shift and your eyes met his. And you were fucking done for.
You’d never seen a man so strikingly fucking beautiful before. He was tall, lean and muscular and oozed pure sex and charisma. Tan, golden skin and dark, luscious hair that swept loosely down his forehead and curled gently around the tops of his ears.
His face was chiselled not too sharply, a subtle gentleness to the stark contrast of the cold, brooding aura he carried. And those eyes. Christ, those fucking eyes. Hazel iris’ that dripped with a golden hue of honey.
You swallowed down the dry lump in your throat and willed your lips to part so you could finally speak. “Thank you for meeting me so late.”
And Azriel was absolutely hooked.
When you’d texted barely thirty minutes ago, he did not expect to be meeting with someone so fucking gorgeous. Your soft hair was twisted in a loose braid that hung over your shoulder, wayward strands having fallen from the updo and framing your face mesmerizingly.
Your eyes were the most captivating thing he’d ever seen; rich in colour and wide with slight anxiety, despite the sleepiness he could slightly notice beneath them. Your voice sounded like a fever dream. It wasn’t sickly sweet like most women he knew or dealt to. Perhaps it was just the sleep, but there was a rasp—a very slight ruggedness—in your tone and Azriel was certain he’d never heard something quite so sensual in his life.
He cleared his throat, that all too cheeky grin teetering on the corners of his mouth. “I was already out,” he shrugged, nonchalantly. “How much are you after?”
His voice was a perfect blend of sweet and rough. A deep depth to his tone that skipped hand-in-hand with a sweeter note. God, he was unreal, and the sound of him had you forgetting entirely what exactly Brandon told you to ask for.
You pulled your lips between your teeth and offered a very sheepish—but mostly embarrassed—smile. “Um… I’m sorry,” you found yourself apologising for the second time tonight. “My ex used to do this part, so I have no idea how this works.”
You couldn’t help the flush that rose to your cheeks at your own admission, couldn’t handle being the subject of his firm gaze, and you absolutely could not fucking handle the soft rumble of rich laughter that chuckled through him.
“Do you smoke a lot?” Azriel finally asked, a slightly amused smile on those full lips of his. His pink tongue swiped out to wet them and your heart thundered against your ribcage at the sight.
“Not really,” you cleared your throat. “Just every now and then. Semi-regularly, I guess.” There was no such thing as semi-regularly when it came to drugs and alcohol. To someone’s own self, sure. But not the general mass that consumed whatever it was they did.
Some considered three joints a day ‘semi-regular’, while others considered it as a joint every few days. Azriel had a feeling you were the latter, but he didn’t say anything about his thoughts or what you’d said.
Instead, he hummed and chewed at the inside of his cheek in thought. He wasn’t laughing at you or your lack of knowledge or understanding. Usually, he’d have kicked a new client out of his car by now and told them to figure it out on their own—he was a dealer, not a fucking private tutor—but with you, he didn’t seem to mind explaining or breaking things down so it was easier to understand.
Neither of you quite understood why he was happy to explain, but you didn’t complain. You’d much prefer this than the alternative version of him that you’d been warned about.
“A 3.5 would probably be best for you, then.” He decided.
Yes, a 3.5… that sounded very familiar. You nodded, slowly, considering your next words carefully. You had already disclosed the most embarrassing part of not having a fucking clue how this worked, one more probably wouldn’t hurt, would it?
“This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous,” you chuckled nervously, scratching at the nape of your neck. “But can you break that down in joint terms?”
Azriel laughed again, softer this time, through a breath. It was odd, really. He wasn’t laughing to be cruel or to embarrass you further. It seemed to you that perhaps he found it endearing—your innocence on the matter—and maybe, just maybe, you reminded him of himself when he too at one point, had no idea either.
“It depends on how strong you have them. Do you smoke blunts or just joints?”
Your eyes widened animatedly. “God, no. Just joints. I think a blunt might wipe me out.”
A glint of warmth and light fluttered through his eyes for a split second. “So, a 3.5 would get you like seven joints.”
“Yeah, that would last me like a week, two weeks.” You nodded. “I’ll have a 3.5 then, thank you.”
Azriel hummed in agreement, and it was only when he reached for the centre console and flipped open a compartment that you saw his hands. His golden skin was marred beyond belief, etched in burns and an array of pigmented colours. Your stomach lurched at the sight. Not from fear or pity or disgust, no. Your stomach twisted in agony, your brain couldn’t comprehend a reason for scars like that.
You looked away as quickly as you clocked them, not wanting to stare and not wanting him to notice. You supposed he was used to lingering gazes, but you would not be a name added to that list of people.
Azriel did nothing but make you feel comfortable in the brief few minutes of meeting one another. He was kind enough to not laugh in your face and kick you out of his car after your admittance. You were not about to make him feel uncomfortable either.
He pulled out a small plastic baggie stuffed to the brim with forest green nuggets and handed it to you between two scarred, pinched fingers. You took it gratefully, a full and genuine smile on your lips now as you thanked him, reaching into the back pocket of your denim shorts for the cash.
“Did you want me to roll them for you, too?” Azriel’s teasing voice dripped with sarcasm and your eyes snapped to him with a stern look. “‘Cause that’ll cost you extra.”
“I know how to roll, thank you.” You bit back, and while your voice and tone held all the conviction, the amused glint in your eye and the corners of your mouth told him he hadn’t offended you in the slightest.
“It’s twenty-five.” Azriel chuckled from beside you.
Your brows furrowed as you pulled out two twenty’s, meeting his gaze again. “Isn’t it usually like forty?”
The air now smelt of that tangy, vile scent, something that you don’t think you’d ever get used to. Or enjoy. He shrugged, flipping down the lid of the compartment between you. “You’re a new client.”
You raised a brow now, a taunting smirk creeping at the corner of your mouth. “Do you always undercharge new clients, then?”
Azriel liked you. Very much. You didn’t shy away or hide your personality from him, even after only knowing one another for barely an hour in total. He had a feeling he was barely scraping the surface.
He matched your stare, only he wasn't teasing. “Only the pretty ones.”
There was no hiding the heat that crawled up your neck and sat heavy on your cheeks. It had been a long while since you received a genuine compliment. Let alone one so forward and from someone so unexpected. You averted your gaze from him, looking at the two twenty’s in your hand. Raising them, you pursed your lips.
“I only have two twenty’s on me. So you may as well take the full forty.”
Azriel didn’t listen. Instead, he pinched one note from your hand, his skin brushing yours but you didn’t falter, didn’t shy away. He was warm, and despite the scars and marred skin, his skin was softer than you expected.
You huffed, not ungrateful for the discount but this was his livelihood and taking away from that felt wrong to you.
“Let me know when you’re out.”
You smiled appreciatively and nodded, stuffing the bag and cash into your hoodie pocket and reaching for the door handle. “I will. Nice to meet you, Azriel.”
He watched you climbed out of the car, offering another warm smile as the cooler evening air kissed at his skin. He wanted to ask how you were getting home, if you’d be walking alone or if you needed a ride. But Azriel couldn’t cross those lines, especially not with someone he only just met.
So he bit his tongue and prayed to the Mother above to get you home safely. “You too, Y/N.”
He started up the engine again as soon as the door closed, but he didn’t drive away. He watched you through the rear view mirror until you were out of sight and when he finally looked down, he found his jeans tight around his crotch and a painful erection.
“Fuck.”
Add yourself to the tag list here :) | Series Masterlist
If you enjoyed it, please give it a like and reblog and let me know what you thought!! Thank you for reading <3
Smoke & Light ONLY Tags
@smalljasper289 / @sttvrdustt
Azriel Tags
@serxndipity-ipity-blog / @erencvlt / @azswife / @lili-of-the-wildfire / @dreaming-unafraid / @dr4g0ngirl / @coconut-dreamz
#azriel oneshot#azriel series#azriel angst#azriel smut#azriel imagine#azriel x you#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel#acotar#acotar imagine#acotar smut#smoke & light#plug!az
737 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Notice me” “Beg for it" (LN4)
Summary: After what feels like centuries of back and forth flirting, Lando and his Mclaren teammate have tired people out with their inaction to do something about their very obvious crushes. Aka the 5 times they confused fans with their interactions + the one time they made everything clear (SMAU)
Part of my summer event! Warnings: Zak Brown, Reader sort of takes Oscar’s place? Also the timeline on this is weird sorry
mclaren
liked by georgerussell63, landonorris, and others
mclaren Proud to announce our official driver lineup for the next season as yourusername joins the McLaren family🧡! Can’t wait to see her and Lando in action next season👊🎊
username1 oh I am about to be unbearable once we get more content with these two
username2 i have no one i can tell about this
mclaren guess how we felt having to keep it a secret!
zbrownceo welcome to the family yourusername!
yourusername happy to be here!!!
yourusername Thank god the news is finally out, you all don’t know how hard it was to not scream it from the rooftops once I signed my contract
landonorris Wouldn’t want anyone else as a teammate 👊
yourusername I would
landonorris wasn’t what you were saying earlier
landonorris “oh Lando, what a dream come true to drive alongside you, I’ll be such a good teammate you’ll forget all about Carlos-whats-his-face and the other old guy”
danielricciardo why am I catching strays?
yourusername you’re saying I haven’t made a pretty good impression? Maybe I should have stayed at Alpine…
landonorris definitely not saying that, please don't leave
username3 the vibe between these two is off-
yourusername
liked by landonorris, mclaren, and others
yourusername P3! My highest yet 👊! What a blast this year has been so far and we have still got a couple races to go! While I could talk about how thrilled I am with my first podium in F1, it wouldn’t be right to not mention my teammate’s spectacular race, earning him his first F1 win. So happy I could be on the podium right next to you, Lando, to celebrate your first (of many) wins! 🎉
username1 they sure do put every other duo to shame with how much they support each other
username2 Lando’s win was amazing but my god I would rather talk about her overtakes
landonorris always the best supporter 👊
f1gossip
liked by 15,158 others
f1gossip Spotted: landonorris and yourusername seem to be spending quite a lot of time together on their summer break! While most teammates like to take this time to get away from the people they work with every day, these two seem to do the opposite, getting quite comfy with each other while on a eurotrip together.
username1 they can’t do this to me oh my god
username2 completely unprofessional in my opinion! They are coworkers they should not be vacationing together, especially since they are wearing revealing outfits at the beach. Disgusting how much this sport has changed
username3 you will live i swear its not that big a deal
username4 usually id argue against getting into drivers' business but it does seem inappropriate to be going to the beach and having dinner alone with your teammate…
username5 dont know who i am more jealous of tbh
username6 im sorry do you people not want them to get along?
yourusername
liked by zbrownceo, carlossainz, and others
yourusername team meetings and court (mclaren) ordered teammate bonding
username1 lando norris make it less obvious how in love with your teammate you are challenge (impossible)
zbrownceo I don’t think we ordered any bonding, you guys are close enough already. Maybe I will file a restraining order between you two so you guys stop distracting one another?
landonorris sorry boss 😞
yourusername boo you are no fun old man
zbrownceo want to rethink that last comment yourusername?
yourusername we promise we won’t distract each other as much, Mr. ZakBrownCEO
landonorris notice me
yourusername beg for it
carlossainz you both may be happy now but just wait until he replaces you with a fancy new teammate and forgets all about you
yourusername stop being a diva
landonorris
liked by 53,836 others
landonorris Going into today I wasn't expecting the technical failure that would cause us to have to retire the car. Because it wasn’t an easy day for me by any means, id much rather take the time to congratulate my favorite person on her first Formula 1 win. Seeing you grow from your rookie season till now has been such a wonderful thing to witness. Its even better to be by your side while you do it. No one is more deserving of this win. Congrats on your first (of many) wins :)
username1 he is so in love i am sick
username2 who do they think they are fooling
usernamer3 so sorry to see you dnf 😢but glad to see you are in bright spirits
yourusername Lando 😭 such an incredible day and an even better celebration afterwords. Thanks for being by my side all this time, I couldn’t have done it without you
landonorris we both know damn well you would be just as successful, maybe even more considering how much of a distraction I am for you 😉
yourusername the only thing distracting about you is your stupid face and annoying personality
landonorris I guess you are just spewing out a bunch of lies today huh?
username4 they are already hot rich drivers why do they get to be in love too?
username5 fr leave some happiness for the rest of us
yourusername
liked by 97,839 others
yourusername yes, we know you all knew this but let us have this moment please
username1 oh my god what a shock 🙄
username2 how will we ever get over this news🙄
username3 how could they have deceived us for so long
username4 nah i can’t even pretend like this is breaking news.
yourusername I knew it was a rumor but I wasn’t expecting everyone to know 😀
landonorris I always thought we were kind of discreet about it…
username5 are you kidding? It would be less obvious if you guys held up signs that said “we are in love”
#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#lando norris x reader#lando x reader#lando norris imagine#f1 x reader
488 notes
·
View notes