#im not disgusting am i disgusting i swear im not
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i cant fucking stand her oh my GOD
#ramblings#i cleaned up the entire fucking kitchen while shes eating her dinner that we were suppoed to do together#and she promises. she PROMISES that she will clean up the TINY FUCKING PILE of things that i left for her to do#literally like 5 things#she cleans up one of them#and then makes more of a mess.#that i have to clean up.#and then when i ask her why she didnt i wasnt even rude#she acts like its my fault. and im the bad person#and shes so fucking condescnedngin oh my god she acts exactly like every bully ive ever fucking had#and then lies to our dad that she totally definitely cleaned it up 🥰as i am in the middle of cleaning it up#will i get an apology? hell the fuck no!! but she ill probably knock on my door in 5 minues to tell me about her FUCKING ice skating#I DONT GIVE A FUCK OH MY GOD#this seems so petty but its stuff like this every day#you guys dont udnerstand the way she talks to me#the way she acts#she wont touch anything ive touched she looks at me like im disgusting#im not disgusting am i disgusting i swear im not#ive asked my parents ive asked my friends they say im not gross and dusgusting and unheygenic what am i donig wrong why does she think this#whywhwywhwywhwywhwy#why does she hate me so much#i hate myself so much#every time i interact with her it makes me hate myself
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wanted to experiment a bit with my art today !! yaaay !!! ¥_^
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can anyone else hear those bells ominously tolling in the distance ?
★ version without text under cut :
★ lyrics : "Melancolia" – Caravan Palace
#im thinking about changing shrig's design up a bit#tbh . in my eyes . these little ears look a lot sillier on him than the other ones#and uhh i also didn't completely FORGET to draw the crown or anything . i left it out COMPLETELY INTENTIONALLY and for a GOOD LORE REASON#I SWEAR !!!!#oh yeah the background is on fire if i didn't make that obvious enough#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#its not exactly canon to the au but whatever . its whatever#who even gives a shit#im too tired to care anymore#i can't even make a good piece of art for the life of me#i know im not supposed to base my worth as an artist around the engagement i get from my posts#but seeing so many cool people on this platform make great art and then looking at mine ...#im utterly disgusted with myself ...#sigh#i was supposed to be studying for a test and writing an assignment that's like a week overdue#and what am i doing ?#drawing pointless doodles that i should have discarded of the moment they crossed my mind ...#i just want a god damn break from my life ...#i want to disappear#genuinely#dhmis shrignold#shrignold the butterfly#dhmis hv shrignold#tw blood#cw blood#tw fire#cw fire
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me watching the Knuckles series somehow getting good reviews and high praise and knowing full well that this shit show will only allow for more lazy, mediocre at best bullshit to infect this series as we now get to watch these beloved characters and stories get turned into a laughing stock once again.
#g o s h#i am#so mad#like#i dont understand#please tell me what you liked about this show#i would love to study your brain#i felt so disgusting after i finished that show#like something visceral inside me popped#knuckles series#sonic#im sorry for the swearing but i am mad and i dont want to let them get away with this#is this really what you want?#is this really what you want this series and franchise to look like?#this is highest bar for you?#listen i am all for finding the silver lining#but this is not worth it man
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Trying to figure out if I'm gonna like the fish i bought by aggressively sniffing it frozen jesus christ how stressful
#i never ate fish until i moved east#i grew up with great red meat but not great seafood#but now that im older and less picky we venture into new zones but omg i am so worried about it#what if i hate it#i use to swear id never eat this shit and i still think clams & shrimp are yuck but white fish aight#im trying to hard to be okay with it#but im actually disgusted deep down inside
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How do I write non queer characters. Like actually. I've been trying to make my main character as straight as possible (while admittedly leaving room for Sapphic Speculation™) and I just can't. Wdym she can't go on a 4 paragraph rant about how gorgeous the other female lead is and how trying to draw her would be sacrilege. What.
#queer#sapphic#the gays#writing#books#chaotic academia#its so difficult#idk how to feel#should she be gay or should she be ambiguous for my safety or should i give her a male love interest#i am not going to give her a male love interest nevermind that mental image is disgusting#that felt like prejudice#im not against the straights i swear- this lady just isnt one of them
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what if i do my english project on reasons why we would choose the bear?
what then?
#this is because im so passionate about all the wrong in the world needing to end#and to make the disgusting guys in my class uncomfortable#they legit FUCKING LAUGHED when watching a documentary about a women escaping war in Syria#and right after she almost died#i swear im gonna snap and punch them#“im not afraid of god#i am afraid of men“#men or bear#sa#tw sex assault#this would go towards my final grade#but my teacher is kinda a dick and might yell at me for being 'inappropriate'
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You ever sit behind a girl in class and want to gnaw on her bones and spit her out in the most sexual way possible
#i am so sorry#this is so disrespectful#i swear i see past her looks#shes also so hardworking and sweet and its like that scene in fleabag when the priest asks her what she does#ik if she ever knew what I was thinking she’d be disgusted#but if she ever wanted to experiment im so totally down#lesbian
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Only took a week and a half, but guess who finally actually feels sick with covid 😔✌️
#i should know by now that my specific flavour of chronic illness = a delay in symptoms#i *should know this* by now#ive only lived with it since 2016#i shouldnt be this shocked#force i feel disgusting#jesus *fucking* christ this is so *stupid*#wait a moment#vent post#realised i probably ought to tag that...#but ugh#at least now i know what the strange 'new' fatigue ive been feeling is 🙄#and now i know why i cant seem to write#ughhhhhh#>:(#i swear im fine really i am#i just havent been *sick* sick since 2020#completely forgot what it was like#i would take the worst of my usual symptoms over this *any* day of the week#blegh#my one consolation is that this means i can continue reading fic to my heart's content#and that i *dont* have to quote unquote go back to work#(work being. writing. and whatever else i usually do)#(nit that i had the cognitive function for any of that before this anyway.....)#ugh#okay thats all my complaining for the day thanks for listening#im sure ill be back to normal soon#in the meantime: im genuinely going to compile a superb@t rec list#not sure when exactly at this point in time#but soon#love yall
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i didn't sleep since yesterday 2pm but at least i have a good meal
#i swear theres a purpose to this#i need to get my sleep schedule back to normal. if i dont sleep at all until tonight at a reasonable hour i will fall asleep immediately#and therefore; sleep schedule restored. boom#so far to survive i have drank the most disgusting coffee of all time (w/ water bc all the milk in the house went bad) and i am now eating#Food#(eggs potatoes like the ones in little squares that you put in the pan and rice w/ soy sauce)#i will survive i can do it#i believe in me#ive also started watching cdawgva again#but choosing the video in which he eats a ton of what looks like the tastiest fucking thing in the universe was a bad choice#im kinda dying recently bc the asian food place i love is closed for some reason so i cant go get food there. pain and suffering#anyways ill go back to eating adn watching connor eat
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vent ig
no one in my family will hug me anymore. i dont think i said or did anything, and i take showers consistently every other day, so i know i dont smell bad.
but none of my friends are very tactile, and ive been too busy to see my boss
so i havent had a hug in two months, maybe more (not that ive been counting.)
and i think i'm going insane.
i havent had more than a hand on a shoulder, at most holding someone's hand for theater, and i'm going crazy because i need to be hugged i need to be held i need to be loved but i guess that isn't in the cards right now.
that's ok. i can wait a little longer, i guess.
#zee's gonna go batsjit soon i swear but im so. so lonely.#please ma don't you love me still?#i know you hate me for who i am and i know i can't ever go back to the way we were but please?#can we pretend it's all ok for a while and that i'm four again and my feelings got big?#can you sing that song you used to? the one about the moon?#pa im sorry im so sorry dad you have to forgive me#i know im not your little girl anymore but please can you at least pretend you can tolerate my presence?#can you pretend you aren't disgusted by me?#can we all pretend im not a failure for a minute?#can we pretend you guys are proud of me and who i wanna be?#just.#just for a minute.#you don't have to fake it for any longer than that i promise#was i really not enough that you hate me so?#was i really too loud or talked too much like elliot says?#am i really just that annoying that my own blood can't stand being within three feet of me?#am i?
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How can grown ass men working at gas stations be openly flirting with me and then when i try to buy a lighter they dismiss me like 'i cant sell you that' not even 'i need to see an id for that' like you're mid thirties at the absolute youngest and you were JUST being very flirtatious with me and now you're just blatantly exposing that you think i look so much younger than 21 that you don't even need to bother asking for an id to tell me you cant sell me something?? You basically just admitted that you're knowingly and openly creepy and sexual towards teenagers how has this happened to me more than once its the i couldnt tell how old she was excuse in reverse you were intentionally being creepy at me bc you thought i was a teenager wtf man
#look man i know not all men are evil and disgusting but sometimes i momentarily lose all hope and its everytime i enter a gas station#i swear to god those places exclusively employ creeps#also maybe its just me but i don't think i look THAT much younger than i am#and yet constantly people assume im a teenager#the other day a woman told me i look 13 like no the fuck i do not#it probably doesnt help that i dress like a deranged preschooler but still
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I know I shouldn't give these kinds of people the time of day or any attention but I'm just like ... How do you think like. How do you think like this. what is your thought process of " it's a fictional character so they can't be a child or teenager " like ??? I think they're just trying to defend ns//fw of children because hurr duhh uhhh durr fiction doesn't affect reality I can draw horribly disgusting things of a 14 year old character because it doesn't hurt anyone it's not a REAAL child !!1!!
#please consult therapy and or talk to someone in real life about this!#ask your family! ask your friends! tell your co-workers hey i drew p//rn of a child but its fictional so i think it's okay#see how other people react.. youd think all ghe negative reactions theyre getting now would make tjem think oh yaah! i really am drawing#ns//fw of a teenage kid huh. well. yeah that is bad. even if theyre not a real teenager its still fucking disgusting and weird too#the fucking self//cest layer is even worse#do YOU want to make out with yourself at 14??? huh?? do ya?? if the answer is yes Please seek professional help#god. 27 years old#I'm done ranting now about this sorry i swear i try not to get into drama but there's just some shit that just disgusts and disturbs me so#badly#they probably won't get banned blocking and moving on is the best but hey! i made people aware who might have been following to stay away#anyways im gonna draw for my AU i said I'd post#at least the og post has like. barely any notes#ain't no one like that weird shit man you're just fucking disgusting 👎#OKAY im done#had to get shit off my chest#i did send anons before i could have been off anon but my fucking . broken ass blogs
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#how are y’all enjoying your fruit fly free summer 🤠#since they’re all taking up residence in my fucking apartment (i am in the process of cleaning a half year’s depression mess$#the kitchen is easily absolutely no contest the worst fucking room#it is so disgusting#i was finally able to stuff all the trash and loose rot into contractor bags and toss those in the dumpster#but the sink is so goddamn full of FILTH and the dishes are COVERED in it#and taking out all that trash did fucking wonders it is so much better already#but there are still so fucking many left in there#and i’m also attempting apple cider vinegar traps and those smell so fucking RANK#i swear to you my kitchen smells like a barn but a barn without animals in it. like the animals are running around outside and it’s just lef#t with putrid shit stank and bugs and YEULHCK!!!!#but the good news is that that’s motherfucking progress and i am gonna keep kicking ass and scrubbing everything and i am gonna have a nice#clean house!!!!!!!!! (but maybe that’s s pipe dreamm. everybody’s got that something! we can’t fix with love or moneyy. even when it pulls#me under! get so high that it just seems funnyy. how many times can i fake it before it breaks me i’m not okay. i’m not okay! everyone feels#like they’re crazy. why can’t i say it? i’m not okay. i’m not okay!)#<- y’all should listen to that it is an absolute banger!!!! i’m not ok! by chaz cardigan#shut up im holding the trashtalking breadstick
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Was that man and his wife looking at my . . .
#dora daily#what the heck. my butt is basically flat bro#I swear to GOD I can’t with this anymore#like guys what the actual hell#I’ve spent sm time sitting doing work and stuff that my thing is flat now what were they looking at#sorry if this is tmi or uncomfortable but you can only imagine how I FEEL#I felt rlly miserable after that and couldn’t think straight during my outing#:(#I wasn’t even bending down to the lower shelves of the shopping centre btw#I was just slightly turned to the shelves but I was turning around and all I saw was that man looking downwards at you know#🥲#this would never happen in a Muslim country btw it’s always the westerners#it’s always in the Coles store istg#the other time I went there some guy was almost completely on me . . .#ALWAYS IN THAT SPECIFIC COLES STORE#as you can see I hate men exceptionally but anyone with attraction at all disgusts me#I don’t discriminate if you’re mlw or wlw or mlm :3 all attraction is DISGUSTING.#wlw is NOT safe from my disgust either despite how I talk it up like Eris ?! virtue ?! PUH LEASE#I hate that my first wlw ppl I’ve met ever were groomers like#I’ve not by that time even been groomed by a male how was a woman my first experience getting groomed when men exist#AND NOT EVEN JUST ONE WOMAN IT WAS TWO AND THEY WERE FRIENDS#how comical is that 😭#nah wait I just remembered some man was also looking at my … top once LIKE WHAT#WHAT#I DONT UNDERSTAND#ME ?!#why must ppl sexualise me sm im literally the most unsexual person to exist in the history of existence istg#I VANNOT believe I am even saying this but I literally have zero appeal in that …. regard#I TAKE PRIDE IN THAT CAUSE WTH WHY WOULD I WANT THAT#or at least that’s what I think … idk how ppl see me bc I don’t even understand that facet of life and existence
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i dont like taking surveys usually but if it lets me give some scathing remarks to my shitty landlords then boy give me enough space for a fucking novel i WILL tell them to get their heads out of their asses
#you get 1.4 million in rent EVERY MONTH for this shit??#i swear there is an entire ant colony under my floorboards and like fifty spiders hanging around waiting to feast on them#i had to treat the place MYSELF#also why is the laundry room so fucking disgusting like ik its college students but what the fuck#just a WALL of lint in the lint catcher cover thing#and they all have like. brown dirt covering them and sand#and the place couldnt clean that shit up BEFORE we moved in??#the last place was cleaner at least even if they decided to replace all the laundry machines RIGHT AFTER THE SCHOOL YEAR STARTED#INSTEAD OF DOING IT DURING THE SUMMER WHEN NOBODY IS THERE#also the food situation is shit because why the hell is nothing really labelled#youve got one fridge with some like. gluten free cookies i guess#you (maybe) label whats vegan and gluten or dairy free on the online menu (not the physical labels??)#you only JUST started even labelling what your fucking desserts are#im not sure i trust your stale ass cereal let alone the ice cream machine#is it a good idea to have a self serve smoothie bar? probably fucking not but hey at least you tried to be cool#the music playing is obnoxious though#also just straight up dont reinforce quiet hours. in fact why not break them yourself. shitbags#hell knows no hatred like that of a person who has to deal with college students#also i can almost guarantee im one of the youngest here#i am so tired of being the responsible one. i am so so tired#this isnt about my landlord anymore#genuine-fucking-ly why do you all wear shoes in the house and why do you put said shoes on the table we put food on and why did you leave#your nasty little crumbs all over the couch and floor last night and why dont you clean your hair off the sink after brushing and why dont#you wash your dishes or at least rinse the food off instead of leaving them by the shared sink for days#and why dont you stop coming home stinking of weed and watching tiktoks loud as hell and closing doors like you are slamming them#and why dont you fucking communicate your problems to my goddam face and why dont you tell us before you start a fucking hair business#in the living room???#and why has nobody though to clean the gotdam microwave. why have your meatball bits been in there for like. 3 weeks#'just tell them if you have a problem with it' WHO LEAVES MEAT BITS IN THE MICROWAVE AFTER SPILLING IT???#i wouldnt have a problem if you had some common fucking sense
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simultaneously mending my whole body into one pile of flesh and tearing myself open for all to see
#guys im mentally healthy i swear#i am trapped inside my own filthy disgusting corrupted body#and i have to either free myself or bury myself deep enough to never feel me there#vent
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