#im not allowed negative feelings about anything
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maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying
#you guys all missed the point of her development AND her and saiki's relationship development#like did you miss the parts where the only times he genuinely seems to not like something she does is when shes mean to other girls#and he still understands that she isnt a bad person for having bad thoughts in the private comfort of her mind#and besides... in this case she was literally just being a dramatic and insecure teenage girl LMAO#like dont fucking lie to me and tell me when you were her age you didnt have similar thoughts#youre worse than her if you lie about it while judging her for it#sorryyyy#she shouldve been MORE unhinged youre all just cowards#AND ALSO ? how can something even be 'mean' if its just a thought#thats like if u opened ur friends private diary without permission and then unfriended them over something they said in a random upset vent#and in this specific situation if u found out ur friend called someone a bitch because they liked the same person as her ??#LIKE THATS ?? its bad but its not as crazy as you guys make it out to be#shes allowed to be angry and insecure in the privacy of HER OWN MIND#idk if this makes sense but i just feel that her thoughts are more of a concern about her wellbeing than anything else#like she canonically is extremely kind to others even when she doesnt want to be so why are we worried about how she treats others.#theyre fine. im worried about HER.#and WHY her mindset is so negative... but u guys dont give a shit because u cant handle even a spec of complexity#sorry ive said all this before i just like to rant#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi#meows post
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all i will say about dav is that this shouldn't be the same as this 💀
#as a fellow chaos-lover on my first playthrough what i've been seing feels me with dread bc the fist is so watered down#if i can't be an asshole what's the point#my adaar was a leader and still could talk back be mean and even antagonize others#i've watched other ytbers picking the mean options since hilary loves the 😂 one and her playthrough in general is being kind to others#from what i've witnessed the kind/mean dialogue ends up being the same with the jokey responses being the only ones that are different#after bg3 i guess i've been spoiled too much.... but also every single game before allowed me to be more antagonistic#since people here claim that you're a leader and need to be on the good side.#wrong have you ever played dao da2 or dai with anything but with a 👍 option?#bc some of the people here pretend to know what they're talking about when in fact they are too affraid to choose the mean options#or god forbid get negative approval from their companions... like get real#the game seems fun the world is interesting but im not that big of a fan of the dialogue/dialogue choices#dav#personal#delete later
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Finally deleted MyFitnessPal off my phone for my own personal sanity
#got some memories with that app#at first it was just sitting there bc I couldn’t stop myself from tracking the calories of some things#but after a 13 day streak shit could only get worse so I deleted it#proud of myself#that thing had me in chokehold last year did not want a repeat#tw myfitnesspal#tw mentions of eating disorder#random post#ooc post#kind of vent#???#started to wake up stressed out about what I’m gonna eat and I was like nooo not ts again#was literally restricting myself to 1200 cals a day AND IM 5’7#tw eating issues#sucks when you’re not even underweight so you don’t feel valid#waitttt I was not meant to trauma dump in this post#can we not bring being 2000s model skinny back into being trendy bc why are body types a tend in the first place#I can change fashion but definitely not my body#no bc this world is fucked up why was I scared to die alone bc I wasn’t skinny when I was literally 10#I hate that it’s normalized to praise people’s bodies#like idc if that makes me soft but a girl just living and everyone just talking about how good her body is#why is that okay bc yes it is positive but it also creates so many negatives#like does anyone get what I mean#it’s a compliment but it also makes everyone including that person afraid to be anything but ‘body goals’#idk how to explain it but like imo bodies shouldn’t serve aesthetic purposes#they actually have functions and needs and they allow us to live#tw body image issues#I hate wiead’s too but that’s just because why is everyone’s food so gourmet I literally just slap some butter onto toast lol#late night post
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I think Siffrin should be allowed to be mad actually, I think it would help them out with some of their issues <3
#isat#isat siffrin#Im actually a big fan of all the cast members being allowed to be mad about things#I think Siffrin should be mad that everyone assumed they didnt like touch and that Mirabelle and Odile hurt him#I think Mirabelle should be mad that Siffrin said that to her#I think Odile and Isabeau also should be mad about that!#Bonnie is already mad in the story so I dont have anything to say here but I do think that a lot of their issues would be helped#if the others actually were a tad more honest with them from the get go#I dunno I think characters should be allowed to show negative feelings that are kind of destructive outwardly and not just inwardly#but thats just my own opinion <3
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it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do
#cmon. cmon. she has every right to be violent#idk if i trust gege to allow her to be angry (which she also has every right to be?? her life has constantly been people pushing her away#and forgetting about her and her constantly being nice) but if she was nice even now it would literally make zero sense#thats not character development. its not even giving her character. its just megumi's perspective being right that shes some kind of saint#which is sooooooo boring like why would she be nice. i think she should be tired of being nice. i think she should go apeshit. as a treat#and there was so much build up about the curse put on her. making it just some thing like oh shes a sorcerer but shes not gonna do anything#about it because shes so good IS SO BORING#and really it would be unrealistic if she didnt harbor at least some negative feelings i mean megumi was always kind of an asshole right up#until she got cursed and im assuming gojo didnt pay much attention to her as he did megumi. and her mom left her for some shitty dude#why would she not be mad?? just getting stuck being a little angel after all that just makes my skin crawl#and if megumi only really considered apologizing after she got cursed i doubt he really did a lot for her when she wasnt.#so i absolutely think she should be allowed to kill people it would be a disservice if she wasnt and was just again boiled down to the#saintly girl older sister image megumi seems to have of her. so boring#or maybe its just me being an angry sister who has to be nice. but i dont really think it is#tsumiki fushiguro#jjk 211#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk#oh and before anyone misinterprets i know megumi had some psychology going on as a kid. doesnt mean tsumiki didnt either#or that she has to be so understanding all the time and not consider her own feelings. so boring. so shitty#it mightve sounded like a joking tone when i said she should go apeshit. but i was 100% serious#anyway yeah thats it#hanancouldyounot#hanancouldyoupost
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He won't leave my fucking friends alone.
#tales from diana#sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe#i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again'#ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations#i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!!#i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to#he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle???#the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong#like im the shady person and the liar.#i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back#i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself.#he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him#and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore.#if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually.#i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was.#and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him.#i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent#some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh?#i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least#a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them#theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear#and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong#even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever#i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it#i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse.#he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known.#he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity.#and will i say none of this to him? no#im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me.#i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.
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i never do anything with love when i get it
#i desperately need it but something always makes me stop when i receive it and have the option of responding positively so that i can#receive more of it#and even the people im closest to rn. the only thing that emboldens me to get that way w them is the idea that we might never meet irl#i want so much to be excited by the idea of doing that but instead it just scares the shit out of me#and im always shocked to realize people have anything other than neutral or negative emotions about me but my brain always convinces me#that it doesnt matter or that they wouldnt continue feeling that way if they knew me better#love is just so fucking scary. i fixate on its ability to destroy or enslave#in searching for happiness i could ruin my entire life i could get myself killed or worse i could be trapped in misery forever#and everything that allows me to respect myself and know myself would be traded away for the sake of it#love is uncertain and claustrophobic and terrifying and love has the power to kill and maim but love is also necessary to stay alive.#what do i do with this.#cw vent#cw negative
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Having lots of thoughts about how sensitive I am to others' opinions on my hyperfixation
#shut up me#UGH. I really just cant stomach seeing people disliking the characters/stories that I love or are important to me#not in the sense that it annoys me or makes me mad or anything like that#It just makes me feel like shit!#and I think a big reason why is that im scared to be ''wrong''#im worried that liking the things I like (even when harmless) makes me a horrible person#and that anyone who disagrees with me automatically hates me or thinks less of me#even when I don't? feel this way about people who disagree with me???#Its why I dont talk about things or characters I dislike in dr (other than the obvious egregious shit) on my sideblog#I dont want anyone who Likes those things to see it feel the way I feel ALL THE TIME.#Like okay I know v3's ending and mastermind reveal was contentious ive known this FOREVER and I know and can understand why#but it just makes me feel! so bad! when people dislike it#theyre so so allowed to I just dont know what to dooo#to a certain extent I just want to drown myself in fun and positivity because im just so tired of constantly feeling guilty and anxious#but i think its doing more harm to me in the long run#because I cant handle any negativity even when its warranted#but again. im just so tired of feeling anxious and guilty all the time for no reason at all#idk how to handle this im just. augh#Polls on my dash that are all in good fun but are stressing me out because I cant handle this stuff like a normal person )b#maybe delete later
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:3c
#being unemployed and insane is a fucking trip lol#i desperately want to be doing something but i cant go three days without having an episode#and my therapist isnt acknowledging most of my symptoms#im going through emdr for ptsd but like what about the psychosis what about the mood swings#ive talked about my horrible sensory issues and she says its just anxiety and im like what#i cant even get out of the house cause im not allowed to drive and everything within walking distance is fuvking expensive as hell#and ubers arent in the budget#thank god theres a sliding scale clinic where i get my meds for literal cents idk what i would do without it#im getting my teeth looked at wednesday im equal parts excited and terrible#depression and sensory issues have wrecked my teeth :(#idk bro#im thinking about selling some of my higher value plushes to get some money to do something fun#cause i have negative five dollars in my bank account lol#i would just go to the library or something but one i cant get there myself#and two when my gf gets off work shes usually dog tired so i feel so freaking guilty for asking her#i have an active disablility claim its about nine months in#so maybe ill get lucky and have it approved but i super doubt it#since my psych team refuses to diagnose me with anything#apparently its really hard to get approved for ptsd and thats like my biggest on paper issue thats actually listed#i talk about getting a job but i cant even be in a gas station for more then two minutes without freaking out#so idk how i think im gonna be able to handle a job#plus itll look really bad on my disability claim if i get a job#so im kinda damned if i do damned if i dont#ugh im just shaking myself by the shoulders and yelling BE NORMAL JUST BE NORMAL#but :3 i stay silly i guess#idk if youve actually read this i give you an internet cookie 🍪#if you have any advice let me know i guess
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sits down. whatever
#sagittarius.txt#negative#last thing on this i doont need to go on abt this forever sorry#im sad and scared and stressed andim worried im being annoying bc im just drowning in this bottomless pit of feelings im trying to avoid#instead of trying to do anything#and i know im not being annoying i know im allowed to talk about my shit but god.#i just wanna cry i dont want to do these stupid essays but i have to because if i dont then my mom will actually be pissed#and its like. shes already annoyed enough! im just fucking surprised she hasnt hit me yet#disregard that tho its been years since she has#anyways#its like#i cannot sit here and just expect things to change by doing nothing but be miserable but i just feel so overwhelmed and shitty and bad#and i could go on and on but no one wants to hear about that and i dont want to hear about that especially when i already know what im#doing wrong. i just. fucking hell#maybe i just need to shut up. who knows at this point
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I know it is ok to make mistakes. I know it is ok to listen to my body and take breaks when I need to
I am also terrified I am going to get in trouble at work because I had such an awful day last shift and left early and had basically nothing done
Rly not sure what else I COULD do since I kept getting nauseous and wonky headed and stuck in the bathroom every like 20 minutes trying to wait it out
I just. Have fear and guilt. Especially since it's right before a holiday and we r gonna be busy.
#my stomach STILL feels off but like. im gonna have to go work tonight#qnd qnxiety qnd guilt dont help#i cant mcfrickin type lmao#i should be sleeping bc if nightshift but im dreading getting a text or phone call sm#and my hands are so tingly qnd burning (known issue and waiting for appt on that but its all just adding up and im aaaa)#venting -----#negative ------#nausea tw#venting and negativity#i am 30 years old and retail trauma from when i was a teenager is still fucking with me#(one job literally told me i wasnt allowed to leave my station while i was actively passing out)#(which could have been qvoided ifntheybhad let me get a drink and listened when i said i wasnt feeling well)#(and then they fired me over a similar situation not long after.#(turns out i had a chronic illness that i had told them about! wow! and told them things i needed and they didnt accomodate!)#(and then guilttripped me for having a medical emergency and fired me. very very illegal but i was so fricked up by their crap)#(and now any time i have a medical problem at work or feel sick or god forbid be human i freak tf out)#retail trauma tw#i guess idk#i do not need anything i am just processing and venting
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the fact ppl expect you to be able to just sit there and take everything they say when they shit on men when you're a man is wild. are you expecting me to momentarily stop seeing myself as a man so you can rant? how tf are you expecting me not to be psychologically effected by hearing that "all men are trash"? what are you expecting me to do here exactly
#why do i have to sit here and tolerate something when its a net negative for my mental health and all you're doing is ranting about shit#i already know is bad that cis men do bc I also grew up dealing with cis men like#we already know but you seem to be hung up on the whole generalizing all men aspect and i dont have time for it lmao.#if you could talk about it w/o generalizing you'll find I actually stick around to listen#but once you start insinuating that all men bad when talking about a very specific thing some men do- how am i supposed to take#that other than you seeing me as bad in that way too by default of being a man? yeah i might be a lil insulted by that if you imply all men#are rapists or something. yeah it might actually psychologically effect me a bit if you can imagine#'my pain should be an expected cost' etc etc. except fuck that shit I dont think so. I grew up thinking that I deserved pain for no reason#im not about to let people continue to perpetuate that idea in me. fuck you.#ik having 0 empathy for men is cool to you and all so you're not even actually going to listen to anything I say but fuck man.#and then instead of actually listening to anything I say you're just gonna tell me to shut up so you're giving me even less reasons to#want to stick around given you're an asshole who doesnt care if they hurt me in any way clearly.#yall: why aren't you sticking around to hear me rant about men#us: bc you make it seem like its about us too w your generalization bs#yall: omg shut up no one asked who cares fuck ur feelings#us: *looks at the camera*#yall: omg why aren't sticking around to hear me rant about me--#I WONDER#maybe its bc you treat me like an inanimate object you're ranting to who doesnt get to comment at all#im like supposed to be a robot taking in all this 'information' except I already know all the information but one message keeps being#hammered in and its 'men bad' and im not allowed to emote or bring it up and comment on it or try to help that person work through#why they feel that way or feel the need to say that anyways- im just supposed to just take it on the chin or whatever.#like no fuck off
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i'm really happy to see more pushback against the idea that trans men are disposable or bad. trans dudes are an essential part of the queer community and the way chunks of the queer community punish men and masculinity is shitty. at the same time, the way that gets extrapolated to say that there can be no spaces without men, ever, and everyone has to love and embrace and trust all men wholeheartedly is like....i don't know.
it's just wild to hear the same people who would insist that trans people have a right to distrust cis people, have a right even to hate them, then swear up and down that women who want any spaces without men in them are evil oppressors. the poor get to say "eat the rich!" but a woman who's experienced gendered abuse dares to mutter "men ain't shit" and she needs to be expelled and berated and made an example of. i've even seen it in the context of women and fems talking about the patriarchy and the harm it does to women getting hijacked to accuse the people having the discussion of being evil misandrist terfs who need to shut the fuck up about gendered oppression lest they harm some hypothetical trans men.
it doesn't seem meaningless that it's women (particularly trans women!!!) who are being told they're not allowed to be anything short of kind and loving and patient and forgiving to all men at all times. surely there's a space between "all men are evil and trans men are men and so trans men all deserve to be hated and isolated from communities" and "women who distrust men or want women-only spaces or so much as acknowledge the oppression that the patriarchy and men inflict upon them are horrible bitches who need to shut up and smile."
#rain speaking!#ugh i dont know#im trans and most of my friends are trans mascs but ive also been sexually harrassed by trans dudes and cis dudes alike#i dont love the idea that women (and etc. u know what i mean) are not allowed to have any spaces without men in them#that women are not allowed to feel distrust towards men#like. cmon. how come every other oppressed group gets to have spaces for them and angry feelings towards their oppressors#but women and fems arent allowed to be angry or mean or anything short of endlessly loving and accepting#and its SUUUCH an easy way to shut down at talk of misogyny and the structural and individual oppression women face#if any negative talk abt men as a group is shot via someone going 'how dare u bully trans men!'#we can talk abt the problems with how trans men are treated in the queer community without#reverting to the misogynistic idea that women must be gentle and forgiving at all fucking times#including and especially about the harm that Men As A Group inflict on them
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Nobody gets to make my wife cry and then get away with it : )
#ramblings of an arrow#I am not gonna be a dick but it is gonna take all my self control to not be#I am gonna confront them abt it in the morning because what the Absolute Fuck#I genuinely cannot think of anything more immature and childishly stupid#when will the stupid shit Oranges did stop haunting us#has anybody considered just fucking talking to us and asking us for our point of view#instead of being shitty immature passive aggressive assholes behind our backs about it???#like babe you dont have the whole story maybe dont judge us for things that werent actually our fucking fault#I realize Oranges is really good at playing the saddest oh poor baby victim but that doesnt mean she actually IS#oh I am gonna punch a fucking wall#'oh youre too angry why are you still angry about this it happened forever ago and it wasnt that big of a deal'#shut the fuck up if you dont know what youre talking about actually I have every reason to be angry when it is still#fucking negatively affecting us#dont tell me what Im not allowed to feel when you didnt even stick around long enough to hear the whole story
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man emotional vulnerability's so fucked lol like ive told a few ppl at work that my cat died & theyve all been like "oh my god that's so awful, im so sorry" etc etc & like Yea it's nice to have the condolences, but a part of me feels like im faking it for attention. then im like. uh. dude. ur cat really did die. ur not lying about this one bit.
tbh i sorta feel like if i wasnt there for the euthanasia & seeing him dead, i wouldnt believe it was really true. Even Then i keep having to remind myself.
shit's weird.
#speculation nation#animal death ment/#i know i said id try to stop posting about it. sorry.#it's just rly weird. i think im in the uh. whats it. denial phase?#less that i dont believe it happened and more. well#Factually i know it happened. Logically i know. i have the memories. i have the pictures. i have the Ashes.#but in my heart it doesnt feel like he's dead ykno? feels like i should look over and hear his obnoxious Mraaa as he wanders up to me#feels like i should be able to go out to my living room and greet him on the chairs out there. or see him in the windowsill#it's probably bc of how sudden it was. even holding my own mini funeral for him today wasnt enough to really drive it home.#not to mention how ive been compartmentalizing like Crazy to still be functional with work and such#like me picking up the bag today. seeing it & nearly breaking into tears right there#b4 i just Slammed that bitch shut. a harsh Don't Think About It. bc like hell im gonna cry in public more than monday night.#biking home wryly thinking about how it's the Second time ive brought a cat home in a bag. kinda morbid ngl.#not allowing myself to truly wallow in it probably has not been healthy for my processing overall. but im just trying 2 keep my sanity#i dont Want to be miserable. i dont Want to be depressed. so when ppl are giving it the rightful sorrow it deserves#im just standing there like. ah. Right. this Is something really awful. and i Am really broken up about it.#and in the end i know im not going to do anything different. because that's how all my negative emotions go.#Don't Think About It and It Won't Hurt Me. lmao no wonder i have problems with crying.#ive got emotional numbing down to an art form. ive been So good at it ever since i was a teenager.#and im gonna keep leaning on it however much i need to. better to be fake happy than true miserable.#pretend youre happy for long enough and it starts to feel real (until it doesnt). i'll take the fake shit over reality any day.#negative/#i guess.
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✰ YOU’RE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE ✰
emotions are okay, but watch what you affirm
So a lot of you, before coming to law of assumption went through the ringer with law of attraction, and those who are here to mainly focus on shifting most likely went through the ringer with shiftok. And as a result of this alot of you bottle up your feelings after being conditioned to think that you
“must be grateful for everything”
“you must be thankful to universe to manifest”
“you must be in love with your current reality for you to shift”
which is obviously bullshit, but what i’m trying to get across is that you have all been conditioned to think that you can’t have emotions
and to that i say again: BULLSHIT, you’re allowed to loathe your old reality, YOU are the operant power so you don’t have to be thankful to anyone, even the universe, you’re allowed to scream cry, the whole lot, you’re allowed to feel negative emotions
however…
You guys need to watch what you’re affirming to yourselves, you need to start persisting in the fact that you can have anything. You say you’re living in the end, but you talk about how you’ve been in this community for so long and “haven’t accomplished anything”, about how you’ve “tried everything” but nothing seems to work out for you.
I will say this again:
one man says “the void is so easy for me, i AM the void there is no such thing as failing”
another man says “i’ve been in this community for 2 years and nothing works for me, im never getting in”
both of them are correct
persist persist persist, you can’t be calling yourself a failure while questioning wether this is all real every 5 minutes and expect anything to change, you have to persist and i know it gets hard, so hard but fulfil yourself in the 4d no matter what and the 3d will reflect, Now the law of assumption isn’t some belief that can be speculated against or some superstition that can be proved wrong it’s LAW, it cannot fail, like at all.
The law can never and will never fail you, so persist in the fact that the void is yours, you haven’t wasted any time, everything works for you, you’re doing everything right, the void is instant for you because it’s IN you.
ENOUGH OF THE NEGATIVITY, STOP MOPING AROUND AND DISCIPLINE YOURSELF. PERSIST!!💋
#salemlunaa#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#respawning#permashifting#loa#law of assumption#void state#success story#void concept#the void#shifting community#shifting blog#shifters#the void state#void state tips#voidstate#manifesting#master manifestor#manifestation#desired reality
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