#im never not gonna be angry about this
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mourning Kentaro Miura today in my drunkenness. for funsies
#im never not gonna be angry about this#every time a mangaka dies before their time I get irrationally angry#miura wasnt the exception. his death fucked me up badly bc I adore berserk#he was gone 30 years before his time and that isnt normal#that isnt normal and shouldnt be accepted. i dont accept it#i refuse to believe there was no alternative. someone failed him badly#he shouldve lived to create for many more years to come#he shoudlve lived to retire and live the rest of his time in peace#this is so unfair
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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actually so sick how they made steph into a martyr for everything wrong with gotham when she lived her whole life trying to prove that she was everything right
#im forever thinking about how her autopsy was leaked on live tv. and how babs used her photos to dissuade misfit from picking up a costume#stephanie brown#robin#batgirl#im so conflicted over how her death and rebirth were handled actually. like on one hand i find it so amazing and cool how she came back and#jumped right back into crime fighting no doubts or fear. on the other hearing that my ravaged and tortured body was paraded around as a#symbol for what was wrong with the world and what not to do about it would make me snap. like the babs-misfit thing makes me unreasonably#angry HAHAH they had no right!!!! no right to use her like that when they wouldnt even accept her in life!!!!!!#people are gonna be like 'oh she didnt actually die and it wasnt /her/ body' that's not the point!!!! it's the idea of it!!!!!#even in death! she's just used to say 'it (she) wasn't enough'!!#it drives me insane. insane!!! war crimes is objectively a HORRIBLE story but the concept of this in particular will never leave my brain#i would kill for her to have responded to babs saying that she showed misfit her autopsy photos with 'oh? did you tell her about the teen#pregnancy too?'#freya talks comics
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first of all happy mayday and then also happy mermay
so au where anakin, human, falls in love with padmé, young mermaid queen of atlantis, and he finds a way to become a merman to be with her (she helps him because she's a queen lol it takes a bit of political maneuvering to get the sea witch to do the magic and ok now the sith have a small piece of their own territory in atlantis but it's worth it because they get to be together) but now someone has to show anakin how to be a merperson because it's not intuitive and he's really fucking bad at it like 'got his arm bitten off by a shark because he couldn't figure out how to swim faster that the shark' bad at it
and padmé is much too busy being queen and preparing for their wedding ceremony so...enter her most trusted advisor, obi-wan kenobi
obi-wan doesn't know what he did to deserve this sort of punishment. it's bad enough that the queen went rogue like this, gave the sith their own legitimate territory, and messed with dark magic just to get some tail (lol) but now obi-wan has to deal with it?? obi-wan has to teach anakin how to swim? the correct titles of their royals and how to pronounce them? the correct way to eat? obi-wan has to show him how to dress and deal with his sometimes surly countenance and his incessant need to touch everything he sees, up to and including the bright blue scales of obi-wan's fins--something only mates are supposed to touch??? obi-wan has to put his hands on anakin's waist and move his body to pump up and down and not side to side as humans walk??? obi-wan must carefully brush out his hair and treat it with their special concoctions so as to preserve its curl despite being underwater all the time now???
(they definitely fall in love which makes them both feel very, very guilty, except the truth is anakin and padmé's match is less true love and more fleeting infatuation now that they get to spend longer than a few seconds together)
#kit's silly lil aus#obikin#mer au#bedraggled merman obi-wan teaching new merman anakin how to do basic things#because hes gonna be the future king but he's shit at being a merman#is everything to me now that im thinking about it#also just to be clear obi-wan is THE most worried when anakin swims out because he's angry#about a lesson or something#and then doesn't come back for a while#and he's the one that goes after him just in time to save him from the shark lol#he bitches and moans but he's never swam faster in his life#than when he was trying to find anakin#and it wasnt because he's the queen's intended#lol i think i figured out my may kofi
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Y’all if you’re gonna criticize keefe at least criticize something he’s actually doing wrong, there’s literally so many of those things do you want a list
#usually I take Keefe crit in stride bc he may be my blorbo but he deserves it tbh#like I’m not going to say he’s never emotionally manipulative or invalidating#I’ll give what I think are the reasons for it that make it interesting to me#but I’m not going to say he’s some perfect guy#but I’m actually ANGRY about the infantilization argument#WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALLING SOMEONE CUTE IS INFANTILIZING THEM#ON TODAY’S EPISODE OF ‘NORMAL CRUSH BEHAVIOR’ WE HAVE……#I can see how maybe ONE of those quotes could be genuinely pretty invalidating in context#but invalidation =/+ infantilization#different argument!!!#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc discourse#if you have a different opinion about kotlc I’m not gonna come out here guns blazing we all have opinions#but if you’re gonna be straight up wrong about what something like infantilization is#which is serious btw#Im gonna call that out sorry#hey twelve year olds on this website!! you’re ok to keep joking around with your crush and calling them cute when they worry#that’s normal behavior dw :)
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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:(
#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it#i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it#like A MONTH#it should not be happening this long after#and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that#but it’s not fair#it’s never gonna be fair#why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this#and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me#and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am#IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!?#i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama#i literally want 2 die#tw death#i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world#did i not love her enough#should i have been better to get#*her#idk i just want her to know i adored her#and i need to hear her voice and get a hug#one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that#tw grief#i am never getting over losing her#please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk .#i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭#i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy
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I dont know what the fuck just happened but the "Michael, are there homosexuals in heaven?" page from Ostrander Spectre just like randomly popped up in a new tab on my laptop so i think that runs fucking haunting me now
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got into yet another fight with my mom, again about voting/the election, she said that she’s only voted once in her life and never cares to again because she ‘doesn’t care about politics’, saying that shit almost proudly?? and it set me off for obvious reasons, then she got mad at me for saying it’s because she’s privileged and ‘most’ shit doesn’t affect her directly so she can afford ‘not to care’
#i’m so tired man#yeah because you’re a cis straight white woman#but what about your queer child?#what about other lgbtq+ people? you say you support them/us but apparently not enough if you don’t care to vote#and then she started on about how kamala is just as bad if not worse#bc she’s an easily influenced boomer and listens to other dumbfuck boomers#plus the internalized misogyny#i just can’t yall#i know some have it worse with their parent/family member being full on pro trump but this#is just so fucking frustrating#not to mention my bitch sister who within the past couple years moved to the midwest with her abusive bf & got knocked up twice#is suddenly loudly pro trump#the same woman who a mere handful of years ago was about to marry her trans girlfriend (whom she also dated before they realized they#were trans!!)#the same woman who has dated girls multiple times#and had more than a few abortions#like just because you now have two children and no longer interested in having abortions no women should have them?? fucking hypocrite#she just disgusts me#like did he beat the brain cells out of you or did all the heroin you used to do kill them#i’m sorry im just so fucking angry with her like i didn’t think i could get more pissed/upset with her#after she ‘indirectly’ killed my cats#which i will never ever forgive her for#but this is just extra on top#legit no longer acknowledge her as my sister - i now only have one vs the two i was raised with idfc im better off#i’m just tired#and it’s not even an ‘election time’ thing this is just … never gonna end/change huh#personal#tdl#vent
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i got so angry about the AB remaster i drew this
#maplestory#satsuhart#angelic buster#tear#sorry i have to go off about it bc i dont wnna make a separate post about it#im so angry about every single aspect of the new design and art holy shit#simplified all her patterns but added more colours to her main outfit resulting in a rly shitty colour palette#even got rid of her cute peach pink hair with yellow gradient for some bullshit pink/blue hair dye#the bows are drawn SO badly they look so cheap and the added colour looks terrible . her og outfit never even had pink#and dont even get me started on the weapon and the addition of hearts to her design HOLY SHIT im so mad#like before it very clearly had a fantasy 'idol... who Fights' vibe but now she just looks like any low budget jp idol#fkin ruined the look of her soul shooter i used to like the design so much now it looks like a knockoff kids toy that would shoot bubbles#WITH A HEART >!>?!??!?! im gonna kill something#im also so mad theyve fully rounded out her eyes and ADDED HEARTS?!?!?! like i really liked how she had sharp kinda dragony pupils#but thats all gone now SNZZ i can only hope they at least make adjustments to her outfit before release bc wow its terrible!#drawing her again after all these years made me re appreciate how nice her outfit is altho its not like i ever stopped thinking that.#it was always nice#shes cute without being overbearing about it but now its dialed up to 11 i hate it i hate it#everytime maple remasters an illust i lose a few years of my life like seriously they havent put out any nice remaster visuals since 2013#(RED explorers and they werent even visual remasters in the general sense)#like WAH at this rate im gonna be so pissed off when they get to heroes remaster. theyre gonna butcher my boy and my girl and my#ok im stopping for now but rly. hope ppl are loud enough about their contempt for this bc it didnt work enough for explorers remaster#NOTMYANGELICBUSTER
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college is a fucking circus are they kidding me. am i being played for a fool. is some higher being fucking pissed off at me whats going ON
#read all of this as lighthearted i like being dramatic when i complain wheezes#but also WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!!!!!!#im angry again FGHDJK#maybe i wont be i dont like being angry. its so exhausting#me when my prof said i could pass my plate on another day bc i asked for an extension bc i was sick and then i try to pass it that day +#but the sub bin was closed and was not accepting any new submissions and she never replied back when i asked her abt it +#and then when i asked about it NOW she replies “i wont be accepting any late plates”#HOLY SHIT GIRL. IM GONNA TURN INTO NONBINARY HARRY DU BOIS SHGFDGHDJ#fuck this school fr DFGGHJD#NO FREAKING GRACE AT ALLLL
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thought about tara carpenter too much and now im insane
#ash.txt#not insane in a productive way unfortunately#insane in a sit here and feel my chest get all full thinking about her#rotating her in my mind#shes so raaughhHHGHGH#my pretentious little movie buff#my heavily emotionally and physically damaged baby#my angry doe-eyed abandonment-issue-riddled baby girl#im never gonna see her on the big screen ever again and it makes me so sad dfghjk
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also last post before i go 2 sleepworld but like literally if u like prime defenders u should try eidolon playtest DISKA. or any other seasons but DISKA is what im currently listening to. very few episodes in but it's so incredibly good & has a reputation for like, being Really Fucking Good, if that means anything to u. really well done system based off the persona series and jojo & stuff. teenagers solving mysteries and coming of age and going through insane shit and having canonical onscreen gay relationships and being transgender and stuff. saying this so lovingly and with so much genuine enthusiasm so u can't mistake me for being passive aggressive or whatever take my hand we can go into podcast world where there are well written and compelling characters of color & gay & trans characters!! like there!! played by folks of those identities!!! there r more things than white boys playing dnd or m&m than concieved in your philosophy horatio....
#SORRY. sorry. thinking abt kc cardenas tonight also. short chubby angry punk latine tgirl whose arc is about realizing& coming to terms with#& finding the joy she's never had in her trans identity. and also played by a trans latinx woman. and she's played so fucking well and fuck#me up SO BAD. u guys would like her i think.god. it's so fucking good & i don't even wanna like talk abt it#just in terms of representation bc that feels reductive. but also like. y'know. waves hands. relevant to the audience im appealing to.#maybe next we can get into some transplanar..... some godkiller..... eyes emoji.#txt#anyway. gonna start SKA tomorrow & then probably talk abt it hehehe. not like it's taking up my brain the same way pd is#it's just very good... <333
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only hot girls get emotional about the relationship between jesus and judas every night
#my roman empire actually#very apt talking about the romans lmaoo#no but fr#me picking which bible story to never leave my mind:#the entire book of job? the amount of slaves that god just allowed to die whilst moses was growing up? abraham and issac? no#(i mean yes but)#these two mfs and their complex intricate realtionship that makes me want to set myself on fire#im not a christain anymore but thats only in the last couple of years#i was raised by very religious parents and partook in everything until i was about 18 and started deconstructing everything#but lemme tell you#a lifetime of religious teachings stays in your head#and theres smin special about these two okay#(and the fact i identified most with judas over everyone else in the bible should really have been something i paid better attention to tbh)#i dont know how to tag this#i dont want angry christains coming after me#are there angry christians on tumblr because honestly thats hilarious#jesus x judas#judas iscariot my guy#anyway gonna go add to my judas pinterest board goodbye#queued post
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why is the process of making a will like pulling fucking teeth and i dont even have a guarantee that my family wont be allowed to have control over my body when i die which is the only reason i wanted to go through this process in the first place
#god forbid you have no family and arent married and die#LIKE DOES THIS NOT INFURIATE MORE PEOPLE. IS IT JUST ME.#FOR FUCKS SAKE#the amount of things in life that depend on you having a group of people that will take care of you makes me want to rip my hair out#what the fuck are people all on their own with no family or other supports supposed to do#why are more people no angry about this#like what are we even supposed to do when faced with life circumstances like this. is this a problem i can even fix or work around?#because im completely lost i wanna just curl up and die i feel like im never gonna get anywhere
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literally dont care about stranger things final season or spin off the only story i want to see for 10 hours is billy surviving starcourt and going to therapy to process that trauma and then accidentally delving into the karen of it all and coming to terms with the fact he was preyed upon by a woman who could be his mother also his relationship with sex/sexuality needs to be unpacked i need him to realize some things ok i need a full katy perry livestream therapy session
#IDK im just thinking about how its gonna take YEARS for billy to realize he actually was never the one in control of these situations no#matter what it looked like or what he told himself#karen shouldve shut that shit down immediately!!!!#when i think of how this fandom and the WRITERS try and pin it all on billy like sir... that is a child how fucking dare you#see now im getting angry again
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