#NO FREAKING GRACE AT ALLLL | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

harris-coopers · 6 years ago

Note

Who are your best friends on tumblr and how’d you find them?!

Okay so these are in no particular order or ranking. I love all of these lovely humans and every single person whose ever said so much as Hi to me! (Random anons, ya’ll make my day). Also this got super long so I apologise!! Again i appreciate absolutely everyone I talk to!

@reinhartmendes: Shards was the very first friend I made on tumblr and to be completely honest, I almost lost it when she messaged me for the first time. Here I was thinking ‘omg I am not worthy of this’ because I saw her on my feed all the time and had always been far too nervous to say anything to her! Also she messaged me the day of the MET GALA (8th of May) and honestly that day was the day of blessing so I should have known only amazing things could come from it, and of course apart from well... THAT the other equally as amazing thing was my friendship with Shards. She’s stunningly talented at everything she does and I am super grateful to have her!

@forsythpendleton: Okay so the first time Sarah and I ever talked was because she had sent me an ask squealing over the fact that I was from Melbourne like her and that we liked all the same things. Half the message was in caps lock and thats when I knew, that were were destined to be good friends. Also one of the first things I ever said was invite her to a comic con viewing party and she didn’t run away so that was a pretty good sign. Honestly, I flood her messages with ramblings in all caps about SH on the daily and I swear sometimes she’s probably comes home to like a gazillion and one of them, she never cares though and sometimes she joins in, which makes me feel a LOT less crazy than I do. Also she super nice?? And caring?? and her photography skills?? Sprouse worthy.

@emmalrb: So I can’t actually remember 100% which post it was but I messaged Emma because I knew she was Australian and basically just wanted to make some more friends on here and honestly you get 100 friends in one when you’re friends with Emma. We bonded over where we live and then shortly after over the fact that KJ was coming to Melbourne and we both were super stocked for it and also that we have basically almost the same job?? (working with kids/teachers). Also I went to comic con by myself this year (which was amazing, both the con and being alone) and I was messaging her updates throughout the day and honestly, she was so invested that she may as well have been there with me! ALSO She will randomly message me and tell me to have a great day?? Like go get yourself an Emma if you don’t already have one bc she’s amazing and her messages are the sweetest! Also she’s a super detective?? If I EVER need help with anything SH related she always knows the answer or can find a link (seriously you’re the best) And she’s also helped me lot with the Sprousehart timeline, along with everyone else in SSH which has literally been super helpeful!!?!. Love you lots!!

@jugheaddjones: Amber, my Brisbane buddy! Our conversation first started because she had messaged me and then straight after that, I messaged her with a gif and asked if she knew where it was from (sidenote: she did and I had been looking for that for SO long) We then realised that we were both from Brisbane (which if you know nothing about Australia, Brisbane isn’t the hottest city to visit). AND THEN she freaked me out by joking around about if we knew each other in real life!! ( seriously my life flashed before my eyes bc LORD I would have passed out cold) anyways turns out we didn’t and that we both had a secret riverdale life (her words A+++ btw Amber) THEN we both died over the fact that KJ was coming to Melbourne ( and then I cried a little bc I knew SH wouldn’t be) and basically I too, also spam her inbox with random Sprousehart info or moments. Also we both almost died on may 31st (Met Gala selfie anyone??) so if that didn’t bond us idk what would. Anyways, Amber your an A+ human being and an even better friend ily.

@itsnotoktohit: I first spoke to Shirin about a gifset I had made, where one of the gifs was broken and I messaged a few people to see if they could delete the broken set while I fixed it. Anyways, long story short, we ended up talking for a really long time about absolute nonsense (honestly a lot of our convos, except for SH related ones bc #facts) Shirin is literally one of the best motivators ever, she is constantly happy and appreciative of literally everything. Half the time I complain to her about things and just basically spurt a whole bunch of 1st world problems stories out and she never cares?? Also she nicknamed me google in the group chat and even tho I don’t think I deserve it, it was still a pretty great confidence booster honestly. Also her love and enthusiasm for SH and all things RD is absolutely amazing and I will cherish it and her forever.

@bugheadlover101: Peyton, Peyton, Peyton, where do I even start? So the first contact we ever had was of her sending me a post about Cole wearing Lili’s sweater and honestly?? That’s the way to my heart fam. We’ve basically been messaging about RD and SH ever since. She’s somewhat new to the fandom but honestly that’s never stopped her. She’s fits in absolutely perfectly!! We had bonded quite quickly over our love of Sprousehart and it went from there! Peyton is always willing to dig up any old/new sh info to share even just really randomly it’ll pop up in your inbox and you’re just like ‘I came out here to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now’ bc it hits you in the feels and takes you a while to recover. I love her to bits, please never change.

@betty-cooper: Okay so Katie! The first proper interaction I remember having with Katie was actually a tumblr post. I had posted something along the lines of ‘Cole Sprouse, the one person physically unable to look unattractive’ and then Katie (of course) replied or reblogged it and said ‘I present to you Lili Reinhart’. I then amended my post bc ya’ll a girl can’t argue with that truth. The next interaction we had was actually me asking her for a link to the bughead discord. I saw her on my dash all the time and she seemed super lovely and nice so I figured she’d be a good person to approach about it (she was!!) She then helped me with sorting all of that craziness out (turns out I suck at firguring that site out lmao) and basically she’s just been a positive light that guides me ever since. If you didn’t already know, Katie is one of the most considerate, caring and generous people on the planet. She is always willing to help me with a photoshop question or answer ( hello?? GIF QUEEN right here). Also her writing is amazing too?? What can’t she do?? ANSWER: Nothing, she is perfect. Also we bonded over the fact that Lili in Law and Order is absolute golden acting and all the other movies of hers that are less well known. Also Katie, I quite possibly the nicest human being you will ever meet. She is always positive and happy and I really appreciate that. She always pops into my inbox when I least expect it and honestly that’s amazing because she always ends up reaching out before I even realise I need someone to talk to. Katie, you’re fantastic and an absolute gem of a person, ily.

@ccshbh: Nina! First off the first interaction I ever had with Nina was based off a comment that she had left on one of my fanfics. And honestly at that time I about died bc Nina is pure royalty in this fandom and I was pretty stunned that she had liked something of mine (nevermind when she followed me. I nearly passed out that day) The next few interactions were me asking if she knew of something or could help me with finding a fic (sidenote: It was the fic where Cole tries to sneak out of Lili and Madelaine’s shared apartment, which is by far one of the best fics to grace the planet also that fic is pure canon don’t @me) Also literally allll of her fics are amazing and you should definitely read them. Also her “Idiot...oh, but my idiot” tag on a gifset I made, basically made my day and stemmed a whole other gifset too. Also she is literally the most inclusive person in the entire world and my tumblr life got like 1000x better when you added me to the group chat! Bc I felt like I had friends on here!! Nina is basically a walking bible when it comes to anything and she always knows what she’s talking about! She’s also a super caring friend and is constantly checking in with me when I get bad anons or whatever and I really appreciate it!! She’s super lovely and really approachable and and just an all round great person!! Thanks for everything lovely!!

#ask #Anonymous

22 notes · View notes

thewhimsybookworm · 4 years ago

Photo

If Bhooter Raja (The King of Ghosts and Ghouls) were to grace me with his presence, and ask me to choose three boons, I'd ask for: 1. Make everything and everyone well. Heal our freaking world. Take us back to our ordinary lives. Deliver us from this evil. 2. Punish those who shirked responsibility and caused this mayhem. Those who don't care. Those who saw people suffer and did nothing. Punish allll of them and make it hurt. 3. A home in hills. With a fireplace, a garden, flowers everywhere I look, a giant library and soft squishy chairs and doggos and kitties. And maybe... Benedict Cumberbatch...maybe. Bookmark: @karubasona_ . . . #SatyajitRay #booksbooksbooks #classics #bhooterraja #goopygynebaghabyne #darlingdaily #pursuepretty #postitfortheaesthetic #art #illustration #bengalicinema #Bengali #moodygrams #wishes #nothingisordinary #madeinindia #supportsmallbusiness (at West Bengal) https://www.instagram.com/p/CO5mboHJXpg/?igshid=1223zub4qq0hy

#satyajitray #booksbooksbooks #classics #bhooterraja #goopygynebaghabyne #darlingdaily #pursuepretty #postitfortheaesthetic #art #illustration #bengalicinema #bengali #moodygrams #wishes #nothingisordinary #madeinindia #supportsmallbusiness

0 notes

jmkitsune · 7 years ago

Text

I love star wars and this post WILL contain many spoilers to the sagas. I’ll try my best to limit them but many will have to be discussed. As they pertain to The Last Jedi. I apologize now, if you wish to avoid them- dip now. It will be a trap :D

those who know me would probably say I breathe star wars more than air sometimes...well in times that I go off about it, they probably think if star wars was not to exist I’d simply blink out...maybe let’s not find out please.

However with the new sequels a LOT of my friends had, to my surprise, kept on me about wanting to talk about the Last Jedi. I hadn’t seen it by the time they all had due to different reasons so they all were desperately saying how badly they wanted me to see it. They “needed to talk about it with me” some said, others simply were hella curious with my “love for the series, how did it hold up in MY point of view”

This is a new feeling, being the token star wars fan in my group is normal but this idea of my love for it being something that meant friends who normally aren’t into it or would just LET me talk about it then move on was now replaced with “Hey...TALK ABOUT IT WITH US”

Mind you...this post is like scratching the sruface so it’s not gonna encompass allll my thoughts, that’d take WAY WAY too long so yeah.... strap in I’m calculating the jump to “holy fuck JM is a nerd”

I say this- all of this is over the time of me watching all that I can about star wars, reading all the material I’ve read and accepting the OLD CANON is gone, it’s legends now. The NEW CANON is what it is, I love both equally and accept that Legends is that- LEGEND, what gets recycled will be, the rest...well won’t be.

Alrighty so- I remember being 16 or 17 and hearing that Lucas viewed the OT and Prequels as Poetry, he wanted there to be Rhyme scheme in the movies, which you can see in this video (this one includes new trilogy and Rogue one)

youtube

see, when I learned that, I wasn’t smart as I am now in terms of writing/story telling. I was just some high schooler who wanted to write something LIKE STAR WARS and be able to create that feeling that Lucas gave me everytime I saw those opening crawls, heard a lightsaber ignite, the sound of an X-wing opening it’s s-foils, hearing Luke say “I’m a Jedi, like my father before me.” etc

Now that I’m older, have experience more in writing, experience in critiquing and not simply LOVING for the sake of loving without having a critical eye I see where flaws are in the movies. Every story has flaws. DEAL WITH IT. What I started to see what this poetry finally. I mean this in a different way than people might expect me to mean. I finally understood why certain scenes were shot the way they were, it wasn’t “oh hey that looks familiar, its a coincidence.” no it was intentional. It was meant as a callback/throwback/etc, it’s done to inspire this feeling of “Hey, in a galaxy far away- didn’t something like this happen?” it evokes the feeling that whatever scene it reminds you of evoked.

When Luke loses his hand, you feel the same feeling as when Anakin loses part of his arm. When you see Star Killer base for the first time, it’s meant to draw the same momentary feeling you got when you FIRST see the death star. Not a “oh another super weapon” but “oh. My. Gods...that is huge.” cause remember the preivew for Rogue One? The star destroyer coming out of the shadow of the Death Star, that looked big as a ship right? Then the camera pans out and you see the dish being installed and then see the SAME STAR DESTROYER LOOKING TINY...the scale was done perfectly. It created a reaction in us. A feeling of being small, insignificant next to that technological terror, right?

Now discussing why I loved Episode 8 (even with it’s flaws) I draw heavily on this poetry in star wars.

Star wars is supposed to be poetic, each stanza (trilogy) mirroring but differing from the one before it. (the following three things will be generalized and brief but I’ll expand as Igo, don’t worry.)

Prequels- a gilded age, corruption abound, Jedi in their prime, undermined by a single Sith who was RIGHT THERE, heavy tech vs nature esque war (clones of biologically human vs droids) and the fall of a young man who was given too much responsibility too young and in his attempt to save those he loved, destroyed all he had thought he'd love in his childhood due to seeing that the Jedi (his heroes) were not really what he imagined they'd be (he saw holy warriors of GOODNESS) only to find, closed minded arrogant corupt and well frankly inept council of monks who turn on their own code when it meant "destroying the sith"

Original Trilogy- gritty war for good vs evil, the evil so...sterile, white and male vs a rag tag/dirty femine lead rebellion, technological terror's vs natural force powers, a father being redeemed by his son who refused to only see the bad like others did, and that bringing of balance. Anakin had destroyed the Jedi Order in his original fall, leaving only Two Jedi (Yoda/Obi wan) and when they died it left 2 sith vs Luke, and in the end to save Luke- he destroyed the last two Sith- Palpatine and himself- allowing only balance. Luke someone who was neither Jedi/Sith, he was...a Jedi LIKE his father who sought balance

New Trilogy- complacency has lead to not only corruption again but the return of said sterile white male dominated evil threatening the peace of a more nurturing New Republic, the heroes of old brittle and fallen from grace due to the weight of what they did in their past being HEAVY and the new gen "meeting their heroes" only to realize, heroes are simply people that made hard choices and do the right thing, making them now heroes to many to come

notice how some things from the prequels made it to the OT? The New trilogy? And some things in the OT happened also in the first and third trilogies? There is not an ABAB rhyme scheme, its more free verse but there is still a scheme in there. It happens subtly and in ways that flow naturally (Even if they are intentionally constructed rhymes)

Now we come to the “villains” each trilogy gave us, let’s see the rhymes there.

Prequels-

Darth Maul-

the Rage, the unbridled hatred for the Jedi. His arrival signified the Jedi’s flawed sight. His combat with Qui Gon and Obi Wan challenged many things, it challenged the viewers in light of “we didn’t know bad Jedi could do this?! (he was the first to carry a double sided saber) he was so acrobatic, he was young he was GOOD with a saber. He made TWO JEDI work their hardest to beat, and only lost after that LONG drawn out conflict. Notice also how he existed. He WAS the Phantom (A sith assassin) HE WAS the menace (he was harassing Qui Gon on Tattooine, then again on Naboo.) Maul also was the indicative of what the Jedi feared most. The return of the Sith. It meant there was one more in the universe. The Rule of Two is introduced. One Master. One Apprentice.

Darth Sidious/Palpatine-

The chess master, the villain in plain sight, the father figure to our hero, the man who if you forget is the villain, sometimes would be believable as a good guy. Guys I grew up with the OT from my earliest memories. I knew it was “Emperor Palpatine” but I also remember in 99, 2001 and 2003 until the scenes happened obviously that Senator/Chancellor Palpatine was NOT the Emperor. I could not connect it because Prequel Palpatine (until scenes happen) WAS A GOOD GUY, he wanted to bring peace and prosperity to the REPUBLIC. HE LOVED DEMOCRACY. Like Obi Wan says in Ep 3 to Padme “we were tricked by a lie. A lie by the sith, a lie that convinced us that our enemy was not right where we were.” Palpatine IS A VILLAIN because he convinces you he didn’t exist. He was the devil who tricked humanity into thinking wasn’t real. But you knew he was...but couldn’t prove.

Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus-

Political villain. He wasn’t bad for evil’s sake (he didn’t have sith eyes like Maul/Sidious) he was a man who was broken by the flaws in the Jedi Council. He lost his padawan (Qui Gon) and that mourning turned into bitter resentment, he saw through the problems the Jedi Order ignored in themselves, found a teacher in Sidious who promised to give him the chance to wipe the slate clean. His political villainy come from good intentions paving the way to hell.

General Grevious-

The Proxy villain. He is literally there to take the heat. He isn’t “human” he is more machine than living creature. He hates the Jedi and you can see that he is a proto vader of sorts. His breathing is broken, his lacking in “organic traits” and hatred for everything is rhyming in Vader’s soon to come, but it rhymes in a foreboding way. Especially when Anakin says to him “General Grevious, you’re shorter than I expected” he wasn’t meant to be taken lightly but yet we take him lightly because we ALL know (even those who watch the prequels first) that something DARKER does exist. Grevious- though scary and not someone you wanna fight one on one, you know isn’t the worst monster in the galaxy. He’s just an angry bitter cyborg who steals lightsbaers. He’ll get what he deserves soon enough, the monster will be slain by the brave knight.

ORIGINAL TRILOGY VILLAIN

Darth FREAKING Vader-

Ok like guys

you need to understand. As before stated, when I was a wee little JM, I would spend A LOT (like I’m guessing daily) watching star wars as early as Kindergarten, imagine for a moment a tiny little JM cross legged on his bed, bouncing as the opening crawl comes, begging his mom to READ the crawl for him (every time cause dammit mom does it best) then stay when scenes had subtitles (Mostly Return of the Jedi but still) Star Wars to me...was like the story of knights or cowboys to other kids. Luke Skywalker was my goals, Han solo was the guy I hoped I could be cool as, and Leia was like AMAZING in terms of “hey girls are as cool if not cooler than guys!”

BUT VADER, Darth Vader’s first appearance to me was terrifying. We had just watched these humans all nervously watch a door, hearing these weird, alien, mechanical sounds creaking over their ship, the tension SO REAL to everyone, something bad is going to happen. Not because of a war but something else is going to come down on them. Those sounds are a clue, something not human is coming for them. THEN THE EXPLOSION AND GUN FIGHT HAPPENS! Soldiers are fighting, Storm troopers pushing in and taking out Rebels. Rebel soldiers running, screaming, trying to fight back, it’s assured that if you were in that hall you weren’t going home. BUT as a kid I BELIEVED they had a chance! They had to, they were the good guys, no bad guy could overwhelm the underdog….unitl BUM BUH DUM… imitates Vader’s breathing THAT MAN WALKED IN...he wasn’t a man though. He was a force, of evil, his breathing was labored but somehow terrifying, his face was a metal mask that inspired the look of something from nightmares, his cape billowed like smoke out of the darkest places, and his movements were deliberate, his actions cold and harsh. HE LOOKED OFFENDED that some of his storm troopers died on the floor. Like their death was an INSULT to his very existence, what would he do to his enemies when he found them?

This villain was one you FEARED, but not only that but when you learn from Obi Wan that he killed Luke’s father, you hate him. You want Luke or Obi Wan to beat him. You want this villain to suffer for what he did, he hunted down Jedi. He killed Luke’s father, he helped the Empire become what it is now. Vader became a target for your hate because that is what Vader IS. Darth Vader is hate incarnate. You learn in the Expanded universe (canon and legends) that Vader hates everything. But one thing more than others. HIMSELF. He hates who he was. What he is. What he has done. What he will do. Vader is walking hatred and that carries him, that sustains him. That is why he survived what created him. Hatred. We are meant to hate that. Because it makes for things later to be as powerful as they are. The twist reveals. The possibility of redemption. Everything HINGES on our hatred, fear and disgust with him.

Now if you’ll notice I’ve spent A LOT of time explaining Vader’s type of villain. Want to know why? Because like Vader, Star wars is very good at rhyming things. Notice though (cause its a carry over from Prequel to OT) Palpatine is not listed twice, he didn’t need to be. He is the same villain in both trilogies, he is the core theme rhymed. The anti-thesis to the goodness trying to combat evil in Stanzas 1 and 2. He is the core threat that both trilogies face and succumb to then revive to defeat.

Palpatine caused the corruption in Stanza 1, Palpatine orchestrated the political villain’s birth by unleashing the rage villain onto Qui Gon/Obi Wan. Palpatine is the force that pushes things from A to B he doesn’t need much depth in terms of rhyming him. Nothing CAN rhyme him. Like no villain before or after can Rhyme Vader truly. Only build up to him or try to recreate him….which means we walk cautiously into the 30 year gap that is the New Trilgoy.

30 years after Vader’s redemption, Palpatine’s death, Luke’s successful battle against the sith, the Empire’s fall...we meet our New Villains.

The First Order.

New Trilogy

Supreme Leader Snoke-

A villain we wanted to be more, we want him to be something that he isn’t because well we had been spoiled by previous villains. WE, those who lived through both previous trilogies, have gone through the rodeo before. We know there are TRUE villains out there, we have seen the DARKEST that the Sith could throw at us. However with Snoke we tilted our head and were curious. Was he better than Palpatine? Was Sidious NOT the worst out there? It seemed possible. He had his Knights of Ren, the First Order/Remnants of the Old Empire at his disposal. More than that- he had groomed his apprentice. Kylo Ren. Notice this isn’t a DARTH (the official title of each Sith Lord) This villain obviously harolded from the dark side, he wished to hunt and slay all the new Jedi Luke had groomed, yet he wasn’t a Sith...so what. Was. He?

We learned...exactly what we learned. Snoke was Snoke. His fate, his character, everything. WE LEARNED it in Last Jedi. I am not saying we wont get more from the EU (books/tv series/games/etc) but the movie gave us what was relevant to the trilogy/the movie poetry. Snoke was rhyming Sidious in one way- the schemer. He truly thought he had planned it all, he felt confident in his victory that he savored it while it hadn’t fully ripened. Picture if you could the scenes from Guardians of the Galaxy 2, the three scenes involving Nebula and that fruit she wanted to eat.

It wasn’t ripe the first time- Star Killer Base It wasn’t ripe the second time- Kylo got his ASS KICKED by Rey

It wasn’t ripe the third time- he presumed to know how Kylo would remain his servant always. Right up til he was skewered because of his arrogance. His plan wasn’t ripe, yet he bit into it to enjoy it’s predicted sweet victory taste.

Snoke is the villain who in his time believed that being only on his home stretch mile, could gloat that he run the race. He is the Hare teasing the tortoise. He is the cheater who tips his hand right before the other player reveals the royal flush they’re not holding and bluffing their way to hopeful victory.

Now. Kylo/Ben.

Ok. This is going to be a test for me cause honestly I had hopes for Ben/Kylo yes you’re getting both names here there is a reason

When The Force Awakens FIRST preview dropped and we saw Kylo spinning his saber towards Finn. I had one hope. ONE HOPE. This was that Kylo was a double agent. I hoped that Kylo being Han and Leia’s son (we knew before going in cause it was revealed) was tricking Snoke, playing the dark side user into believing he DID win Ben over. He fooled the evil master mind with Luke’s help. Faking the destruction of the Jedi Temple, his Knights of Ren undercover with him, a strike team sent in to infiltrate the First Order from within, giving Snoke his Kylo Ren as a Trojan horse. I NEEDED THIS. I needed to see that Luke was able to craft a team similar to the one who saved Han in Jedi.

Force Awakens Ended and well Kylo isn’t a double….at least not yet. He tried to teach Rey, and he didn’t want to kill Han. At least not in the Force’s eyes. The novelization said so, in killing Han he got weaker, a sith gets STRONGER in that type of event, yet Ben/Kylo weakens. It’s obvious the boy didn’t want to do it. I hoped with this confirmation it was canon that Ben was still in there. Not because I wanted this shitty man to be redeemed. He wasn’t Anakin. He didn’t deserve it. I wanted him to see his failings and CHOOSE to come back. More so I wanted to see that Han’s death was an intentional sacrifice for a greater good. I wanted Han to have given himself to save his son’s remaining spark of good, I NEEDED THAT. I needed to see a father who was primarily absent in his son’s life make that decision as a last ditch effort to assure his son that he knew the good in him was there, that the good in him was going to be what he is. Not the dark, bad, villain we saw in Kylo. It was a personal need.

Fast forward to Last Jedi. Here we go, Ben/Kylo was seen in previews as torn, breaking his mask that he fashioned after his grandfather’s mask. We see hesitation in his attacking of Leia’s ship in his TIE SILENCER, we see a moment of indecision, Kylo was wavering, Ben was surfacing. The scar looking mechanical- rhyming with Anakin and Luke- an injury leaving them with a mechanical healing method. It rhymed. Each Skywalker man now carried an injury that left them inching closer to “more machine than man” in a story that has HEAVILY been “Nature vs Technology”

Kylo/Ben however doesn’t reveal some secret double agent scheme.

No Ben/Kylo in a moment being REAL reveals his memory of events. Luke tried to kill him. He defended himself and made his choice. He saw his uncle willing to kill him for reasons mostly obvious, others probably still unknown to Ben/Kylo. His revelation also shows that he carries grudges from long in the past. He didn’t want to kill Han, but he carried the hatred of his father and mother’s failed relationship with him. We see that Ben chose to be Kylo Ren. It wasn’t Snoke puppeting him. At least not entirely, he used strings to show him what he could be. Ben however cut the strings and picked up the mask, the cape, the mantal and bled the crystal in his saber to make that thing red himself.

To Quote Obi Wan-

I walked out of that movie hearing it over and over because of Kylo’s accusations of Luke failing him and making him what he was. Yes Luke failed BEN. Luke in a moment of humanity, a moment of being an older, experienced, and tired hero...saw a potential threat and in his moment of humanity actually weighed the options of killing the threat of living with it- trying to temper it and extinguish it without succumbing to murder of his beloved nephew. Ben did not care. Ben- like the Jedi and the Sith, only saw in absolute. He saw Luke THINK about it, and decided that Luke made up his mind. Ben chose to be Kylo Ren, he could have stayed and talked to Luke, discussed what happened, reached an understanding and grew as uncle/nephew or teacher/student. No. He chose the quick and easy path, like a true dark sider does.

Ben Solo did die that night. Kylo Ren didn’t kill him though. Kylo Ren took up his face and wore him, as an insult to Luke, Leia and Han. Kylo Ren wore the face of Ben Solo to try and seduce Rey into joining him. Kylo Ren wore Ben Solo’s fractured and conflicted face when he tricked Snoke into believing he was a puppet so when the time came- unlike his grandfather (in his mind) before him, he could seize power. And finish what he started.

Kylo Ren wears Ben Solo’s face the way some Vlad the Impaler left the heads of his enemies on spikes to intimidate and psychologically destroy his enemies. Ben Solo’s visage and memory is used as a weapon by Kylo Ren to wrench Han’s heart and force him on that catwalk, in hopes of bringing his boy home. As a constant reminder of Luke’s moment in humanity as a Jedi in fearing what might come and causing it anyway, and then the following years of doubt, guilt and pain over the possibility of creating the villain that threatened the galaxy, killed his best friend and chased down his twin sister in hopes of slaughtering her and all she stood for. Kylo wore the mask of Ben Solo as a weapon to give Rey this idea of hope to save him and used it so that when it failed, in her moment of grief for her failure, he could seduce and turn her.

Like we saw- Kylo Ren failed. He failed to turn Rey multiple times. Not because oh she’s a good guy, she won’t turn. But because Kylo Ren can’t invoke a sense of loyalty. He wears the face of a boy who is dead. Kylo Ren is the monster under your bed who wears the face of your stuffed animal then rips you under it to eat you. We know you’re not the good guy you pretend to be. Rey didn’t believe he was bad, she knew it was a possibility but she- had hope- Kylo Ren doesn’t understand this.

In Harry Potter, Harry tells Voldermort that because he never knows love/friendship- Harry pities that dark lord. In Star Wars, Kylo Ren doesn’t know loyalty. He doesn’t know compassion.

He knows greed and fear.

He feared the light, he feared the sentiment that Anakin Skywalker held for his son slaying Vader for good. He craved the power Snoke dangled and held. He feared that if he remained like Luke’s Jedi were- he’d never taste what he felt belonged to him by right. He and Hux share this sense of entitlement due to lineage/bloodlines. It’s interesting when viewed from the point of view- he came from EVERYTHING and gave it up for what he thought was better.

The son of a Senator/War hero, a smugler/war general, nephew to the GREAT JEDI LUKE SKYWALKER and THE GRANDSON of the CHOSEN ONE Anakin Skywalker. This was not enough for him.

Rey – coming from nothing didn’t want any of those things. She didn’t care if she was something or anything. She just wanted to know who she was. She was originally a spec of sand on Jakku now she walked with Han Solo- the famous Smuggler (oh and the War General I guess?) she met Princess- Now General LEIA ORGANA, the woman who fought the Empire, who saved Han from Jabba (then slayed him) the woman who never quit. Plus she was to become the student of the mythical, legend- Luke. Fucking Skywalker.

She didn’t even feel worthy but accepted it because as she met each one- she learned they were people. They were not Gods, they were flawed like her, they made mistakes, they made choices they didn’t like, all because at the time, it was the best thing they could do. They were trying, they were hopeful, and they were good people.

Ben Solo knew these things- he was Luke’s heir to the Jedi Order he built. He learned from his Uncle without complaint until the end, he was the son of these two amazing people of the Rebellion. Then he learned of his grandfather’s identity...everything changed. He felt lied to. Which is true, but this is where Kylo Ren tasted life and needed more.

Kylo rhymes a villain from the old EU in my opinion. Well a few.

Darth Scion

Darth Traya

Darth Nilhus

See like Scion- Kylo is fueled by pain. Scion was physical pain, but Kylo is emotional pain. He strives to push himself into the most emotionally conflicted states. Sometimes physical too. He kept hitting his bowcaster wound in TFA, he surrounded himself with the images of his grandfather and sought guidance from his spirit while in his room and when we saw him attacking Leia’s fleet- he couldn’t pull the trigger to hit the bridge killing his mother. Kylo Ren is a dark sider who thrives when conflicted because it fuels his rash decisions and rage over indecisiveness

he reminds me of Darth Traya because of two quotes that remind of Kylo

“It’s such a quiet thing, to fall. But far more terrible is to admit it.” - Kylo was born from darkness growing Ben over time. He fell quietly then when he admitted his fall that night in his cabin with Luke- it was far more terrible than we expected. It was a dark dark night for all involved.

Second quote is -

“Know that there was once a Darth Traya. And that she cast aside that role, was exiled, and found a new purpose. But there must always be a Darth Traya, one that holds the knowledge of betrayal. Who has been betrayed in their heart, and will betray in turn.”

This reminds me because look at Kylo/Ben’s history- he felt betrayed in his life and in turn he simply betrays all those around him that he feels slighted by. He instead of healing and growing from betrayal, simply festers his pain and lashes out in betrayal back.

Darth Nilhus though is simply- both men crave an insatiable craving. Power doesn’t do it, prestige doesn’t satisfy, nothing does, nothing can. A dark dark undefinable hole exist in them both and calls to be filled and attempts to fill it always satiate for a small time before the rage demands more.

Alright so I’ve spent A LOT of time talking about the whole character rhyming and that tangent made this longer than it should be, so now I come to the fact that I started- why I loved Last Jedi.

deep inhale

ok ready?

yeah...Leia said it right- Hope.

That’s it. This movie was one event after another of things destroying your sense of hope.

Poe lost all those pilots/bombers in his plan to destroy the Dreadnought.

Leia was losing hope as each of her ships were being picked off by the Supremacy that tracked them through hyperspace.

Luke had lost all hope before this movie and Rey was losing her hope in turn because of his hopeless state.

Finn and Rose were losing hope in so much

1- Rose lost hope in Finn once she saw him trying to run

2- Finn lost hope in DJ once the shoe dropped.

3- Both lost hope in the plan once it was revealed to be impossible to succeed due to their betrayal

4- Seeing the Ram preparing to destroy their hiding base- Rose lost hope until Finn’s daring thing.

Rey’s hopeful attempt at saving Kylo/Ben, it was looking so good til the last second and that hurt the most, the team up WAS THAT HOPE REVIVED like it sparked a sense of “they’re brutally fighting for their lives like Sith, but elegantly together in everything like Jedi, this is THEM bringing balance, they are saving the Galaxy, Ben Solo is back…..or so we thought.

Like every time our heroes did something it backfired, blew up, failed, or simply didn’t go how they wanted.

But in the end- after all that

we got hope back

1- Rey saves the Resistence with Chewie and escapes Crait.

2- Luke saves them by buying time and giving himself in a LEGENDARY act of challenging the ENTIRE first order by himself and simply brushing it off like it’s no biggie.

3- Kylo FAILS in his first act of Supreme Leader in destroying his enemies and has to live with the fact that it was all his own fault.

Hope was revived in the fact that for all those losses, one after another, we learned something. Yoda said it. Failure is the greatest teacher and teachers can hope for their students to take what is taught and become MORE than their predecessors.

Luke passed on what he learned. He learned from his failings, he learned from Yoda, Obi Wan, etc. He passed it all along with the teachings of the original Jedi to Rey (not even REMOTELY close to all that being intentional) and she is now going to be more than him. As Luke was more than Yoda/Obi Wan (who believed Vader had to die, and Anakin was beyond gone.)

Rey is hope. She is that ray of light in the darkness. Leia knew to trust in her because after everything, Luke reminded her- they’ve survived worse and came back strong. Rey can do that with the next gen.

THE BOY AT THE END is proof. Rose gave him the ring, he is the exploited poor masses personified. He is the fans who see these movies, and hear the morals and see the heroes and emulate them. He is those of us who see the sky at night and dream of doing the right thing. He dreams of being that next legend. He knows he isn’t legendary but, if Luke Skywalker can, why not him? If Leia could? Why can’t his friend?

The boy at the end- force pulling the broom is the message of the Last Jedi.

Luke was the Last Jedi for so long, he passed on what he learned and because of that now, a new Jedi will Rise. Rey, along any and all those she inspires to combat the forces of people like Kylo Ren. The man who could have been what Rey is, but because he walked into a dark shadow and let it engulf him, the strength of the dark he drank from rose to meet him- Rey.

He now commands the First Order, his hate fueling his obsession to claim everything.

Rey- feeling lost has everything she needs- to find those who need her to lead them in resistance and rebel, the spark was ignited to light a fire, that WILL burn the first order down. The fire is Kylo Ren, his anger is going to burn everything around him and leave him alone while Rey is there, leading the triumphant return of justice and good to the Galaxy.

In FF Advent Children, Rufus Shinra makes a comment “If that cycle is the very truth of life, then history, too, will inevitably repeat itself. So go on; bring your Jenova's and your Sephiroth's. It won't matter. We'll do as life dictates and stop you every single time.”

This is star wars

it is history repeating itself. But every time someone does what the force dictates. Raises up, and stops it. EVERY. TIME.

The Force is the rhyme in the universe’s poem here. The force let’s the bad rise, the bad grows, destroying, claiming and leaving ruin in it’s wake. Because the darker the night, the brighter the dawn of the next day, when the sun returns, warmth fills the sky and clears the shadows to bring peace and life back to the galaxy.

This wasn’t alll intentionally drawn by the creators obviously but this is what a STAR WARS lover like me drew. This is the surface of what this movie and all the previous ones did for me.

It- like other mediums, some mentioned in this long essay- inspired hope. Hope that even when the worst nightmare claims me, planting my feet firm and igniting my lightsaber to fight back can be done, but its not the main thing I need to do. My main responsibility in face of despair, terrible things and true evil. Is not fight that which comes in hopes of destroying all that I hate in it. No. My job. My mission is to always remember to protect all that I love so it my flourish when the bad passes.

Star Wars teaches us to ensure that we don’t need to win by wiping out things, we simply need to make sure that which threatens us doesn’t consume that makes us good and turns us as putrid and evil as them.

#jm rambles #star wars thoughts #I don't talk ENOUGH about star wars #but hey here are SOME thoughts #they are nothing special #I seriously probably have given Adrienne SO MUCH STAR WARS talk in the past its ridiculous #I'm like a walking star wars dictionary sometimes #other times I'm a star wars op ed #there is no middle ground >.>#SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS

5 notes · View notes

mistake-messenger-trash-blog · 7 years ago

Note

RFA + V + Saeran hugs? Scenarios or headcanons, it's up to you. Who gives the best hugs, squishes all the air out of your chest, sleepy mornings in bed hugs, cheesy romantic forehead touching hugs?

I want to give a big thank you to all of you that have sent me requests! I really appreciate it all :3

I hope that you like this, anon! And any of you, feel free to drop by my ask box. I absolutely love getting asks, so don’t be shy!

This is a long post, so you can read the rest under the cut!

~~~~~

Yoosung

● It has been 100% proven by scientists all over the world that this boy is an actual puppy.

● Yoosung is very expressive with his feelings and emotions, so he’s hugging you most of the time.

● He looks weak and fragile but he gives literal bone-crushing hugs.

● It’s like… Yoosung… bby… I love your hugs but I need to b r e a t h e …

● And wow okay that’s my rib there plz don’t pop it out of place.

● But you can’t stay mad at him for long; he’s a soft and squishy bean that just wants some love.

● Like… come on, poor boy never had a girlfriend before, so he just wants to make the most out of having you.

● During cuddle sessions he gets very emotional and sappy.

● He thanks you for choosing him and for loving him.

● Like previously mentioned, he is incredibly open when it comes to his emotions, so if you’re out in public or walking around his university, he likes to wrap his arm around your waist and constantly pull you close to him so he can give you a little side-hug.

● Doing this makes him feel like he’s protecting you while also showing you off to everyone (:

Jaehee

●W a r m e m b r a c e s

● This woman is allll for embracing you.

● When she comes home from work, all tired and sleepy, you immediately wrap your arms around her and just… hold her.

● With all the stress that Jumin puts on her on a daily basis, she appreciates your efforts to make her relax.

● As soon as your arms wrap around her, she releases a small, content sigh, and her shoulders slump a little with the sudden wave of relaxation and peace that courses through her.

● She absolutely loves it when you just run your hands through the nape of her neck, stroking the short hairs at the back of her head.

● It makes her feel like she finally has a real home to return to, knowing that she has a set of arms waiting to welcome her back.

● #GiveBaeheeHugs2k17

● When it comes to being in public, the poor woman can’t even bring herself to hold your hand.

● Soo… it’s basically impossible to get her to hug you in public.

● Occasionally, if she’s stressing out or panicking about something while you’re out in public, she’ll let you give her a reassuring hug and she’ll appreciate every single second of it.

Zen

● Hooo boi.

● You know that Zen is the romantic type.

● He loves loves loooooves giving you hugs.

● Correction: he loves being a cheesy little shit that showers you in compliments and love.

● Especially if you’re just sitting on the couch, most likely watching a movie or one of his musicals.

● He cuddles up to you, and most of the time he’s staring at you, so when you stare back, he’ll put his face really close to yours, and just rub his nose against yours while making eye contact and having a soft smile grace his features.

● Your bodies are so close to each other’s that every couple of minutes he’ll turn his head and steal a light and soft kiss from you.

● These are his all-time favorite hugs.

● His arm is around your waist/shoulder 99% of the time, because he can’t get over how warm you are.

● If he’s been traveling/away for some time for his acting career, he sure as hell does those cutesy movie hugs where the guy picks the girl up by the waist and twirls her in circles before bringing her down to hug her.

● No matter what your height is, he’ll bury his head in your shoulder and nuzzle your neck.

● He tries not to be too showy when you’re in public, since he still has a reputation to hold, but if he’s feeling extra lovey-dovey he’ll just hug you out of nowhere.

● Like, seriously, you could be walking down a crowded sidewalk and this boy just stops right in the middle and pulls you in for a hug.

● He doesn’t care if people are pushing him and telling them to get out of the way… Zenny boy will get the love he deserves.

Jumin

● This man is all for morning cuddles.

● Before a stressful day at work, he thinks that there’s nothing better than you two cuddling in bed as soon as you wake up.

● It makes him feel refreshed and ready for the day.

● You also just love to see his droopy eyes and his ruffled hair.

● If it’s the weekend or if he has some days off of work you have to drag his ass out of bed, because he will literally stay cuddling you the entire freaking day.

● He’ll just wave his hand dismissively and say that the maids will bring you food and whatnot.

● Jumin, no

● Literally almost screams whenever Elizabeth the 3rd decides to join in to your morning cuddles because “MC do you not see how majestic she looks with the morning glow coming in through the windows? Her pearly-white fur seems to radiate a sense of serenity. ”

● If he’s away on business trips he literally has to take a body pillow with him, because he misses hugging you in his sleep so much, and he didn’t know that he needed someone’s warmth for a peaceful night’s sleep until he met you.

● In order for him to fall asleep, you’ll most likely have to give him a call and talk to him while he’s hugging the pillow, so he feels like you’re at least a little bit closer to him.

● Also, as much as he thinks that the cold and stoic persona given to him by the media doesn’t 100% fit him, he still likes to maintain some of it so other businesses know not to mess with him.

● Because of this, he’ll only occasionally show his full affection towards you in public.

● Like most of the others, he’ll simply have his arm wrapped around you for the majority of the time that you’re outside.

● If anyone’s being rude he’ll simply hug you from behind to prevent you from seeing the look death glare that he’s giving whoever is being rude.

Saeyoung

● While he’s still working for the agency, he barely has any time to stop his work and cuddle.

● If it’s an easy job, he’ll most likely stop every now and then to go to wherever you are in the bunker and have some cuddle times, or he’ll let you sit on his lap and cling to his neck while he’s working.

● If it’s a more difficult job or one where he has to give his full concentration, he’ll most likely give you cuddles when you both go to sleep.

● Since you moved in with him, you’ve been forcing him to go to sleep at more reasonable times, so you’ll usually just wait for him to come to bed and give you some cuddles.

● When he’s free of work, you two usually just end up watching movies, so he loves to lay down on the couch with you and wraps himself all around you.

● This position allows him to tell you jokes and hear your giggles and tickle your sides mercilessly.

● He’s the type to give very warm and comforting hugs.

● I think he’d sometimes just walk up to you and like… pick you up… and hold you close to him and just… drag you around with him wherever he goes.

● He just gets really clingy sometimes, okay? It’s not his fault that he wants to squish you all the time.

● If he’s ever feeling down or having flashbacks to his childhood, the first thing he does is go over to you and give you some hugs :3

● THIS MAN GIVES THE BEST HUGS EVER

● tRY TO TELL ME THAT V ISN’T LIKE A HUGE TEDDY BEAR; getting hugs from him is the best thing ever.

● You’re anxious? Give him a hug. You’re stressed? Give him a hug. You’re tired? Give him a hug.

● He loves giving you every single type of hug.

● Morning cuddles, night cuddles, cheesy and romantic hugs, strong hugs.

● You name it, he’s the best at giving them.

● Not only does he love giving hugs, but he loves receiving them as well.

● Especially since he started losing his sight, tact has become his number one sense.

● Feeling the warmth radiating off of your body when he hugs you, feeling your smooth skin as he rubs your back, lacing his fingers through your hair when you’re cuddling. He loves it all.

● The number one reason that he loves it is that because of his artistic past, it’s easy for him to imagine every aspect of you simply by touching you, so cuddling gives him the best opportunity for this.

● He’s the type of person to be very cuddly while sleeping, so you often wake up to a mess of limbs between you both.

● When you’re out in public, you’re actually the one to wrap your arm around him, since you technically have to be his eyes.

● …Though even after he gets his surgery, he tells you to keep your arm around him when you’re out and about, because he honestly loves to be the one held for once.

Saeran

● For very obvious reasons, Saeran isn’t really that into displays of affection or touching in general, but that doesn’t mean that his hugs are any less incredible.

● Since you want him to be comfortable around you, you let him initiate any sort of contact between the two of you.

● When your relationship has just started, he’s still very uncomfortable with many people, so he’ll most likely only give you a hug when the two of you are completely alone.

● His hugs are very expressive and full of warmth; he takes the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ to heart, so he likes to squish you just a tiny bit while you’re hugging.

● Though as time passes, he becomes more comfortable with your touches.

● When hugging you, he’ll now usually press light kisses to your neck or to the top of your head, depending on your height.

● If there’s people around you, he gives you a hug from behind and rests his head on your shoulder.

● Since he’s a bit of a tsundere, he’s not constantly hugging you, and prefers to sleep without having to cuddle.

● Though, this all flies over his head when he wakes up from a nightmare. He’ll pull you close to him and just… breathes in your scent while entangling your legs together.

● If you wake up while he’s doing so, you always ask him if he wants you to hug him for comfort, since you know the reason why he’s acting like this in the first place. He’ll shyly nod and turn his body to allow you to wrap yourself around him and be the big spoon.

● When he wakes up he’ll be all huffy and he’ll deny ever saying that he wanted you to hug him.

● He’ll do all of this with a slight tint of his cheeks, which reveals what he’s truly thinking: he secretly loves it when you hug him, because he gets to feel your warmth, and all traces of anxiety that may remain in his body immediately dissipate.

81 notes · View notes

spacedefenders · 7 years ago

Text

MEMES CAUSE I HAD A SHIT DAY

@hxspitality

Kenna & Tycen Verse: Saving Grace

where was their first date ?: when they were in London they ordered roomservice and had a “date” in her hotel room, though I can imagine Tycen telling her that it didn’t actually count as a date because he wanted to take her out out. what my muse would do to cheer your’s up ?: she would dress up and drag him out of the house and go on a date night with him. and if he was really having a rough day she’d take the twins out of the house and tell gage to pick up beer and go over, she knows he needs a break sometimes. who wakes the other up with kisses ( and where ) ?: Both do, Tycen probably kisses all over while she focuses more “sensitive” areas who would pour water on the other to wake them up ?: neither, they’re not dumb enough to do that to the other how my muse would wake your’s up ?: it really depends on the stage in their relationship, when they were trying to be cute for one another she’d cuddle up against him and kiss him until he wakes up. when there is screaming children involved she probably kicks him or gives him a shove. who would start a food fight while baking or cooking ?: Tycen who would suggest putting marijuana in the brownies ?: probably kenna?? who said i love you first and how ( or when ) did they say it ?: Honestly I think Kenna would have. I see her getting mad at him about Skyler and her saying something to the effects of “it’s not fun to think about the man you’re in love with, with another woman.” She didn’t mean to blurt that she was in love with him. who would get into a physical altercation over the other ?: Tycen, Kenna is certainly not the fighting type. In fact, Kenna probably sometimes tries to start things because she likes to see him jealous. who insists on purchasing a pet together ( and what kind of pet ) ?: Tycen, and a dog. who is louder ( in and out of bed ) ?: Kenna. who takes more risks ( in and out of bed ) ?: Tycen. who would bring up the word ‘daddy’ first ?: Tycen what is their shared, favourite kink ?: Cliche as it is, the whole daddy and babygirl thing, when Tycen calls her babygirl she melts. describe their typical kiss: again it depends on the stage in their relationship, in the beginning it was all about passion and wanting the other person right then and there, as the twins came along it was about getting a kiss in, they were quicker and sweeter, but when they did have the time to themselves they were even more passionate and they kissed harder than before. how my muse shows their love for your’s: The hardest thing for Kenna to do is to open up to Tycen and I think the greatest way that she shows her love for him is when she does open up to him, as weird as it is especially when she cries in front of him. she is not one to cry and if she does cry infront of someone that means she is 100% comfortable around them. Another way she’d show her love is little things, like taking care of him, bringing him lunch at the studio, waching a football or baseball game with him, laying with him while he watches the game, their favourite ways to give affection: Kenna is what I refer to as a “leaner”, she will lean on or against Tycen almost in a hug, its how she keeps him close to her. She likes to always have a hand on him somehow, she likes the physical contact. If they’re in a meeting she has her hand on his thigh, if they’re out together she has her arm around him or is in his lap. Its allll about contact for her. who is more dominate ?: In bed Tycen, Out of bed Kenna who sings in the shower ?: Tycen who washes the other’s hair in the shower ?: Kenna who initiates shower sex despite being in a rush ?: Tycen, he’d just hop in unannounced “they’re napping, lets go” who teases the other under the table at dinner with the family ?: Kenna. who has the weirder taste in music ?: Kenna who would initiate dancing in the rain ?: Tycen. who would be the one to suggest marriage ?: Kenna is definitely the one who pushes marriage. She thinks its normal and she wants a normal aspect to their lives, she wants a wedding and to have his last name. what would they name their children ?: Cooper Joel Hunt (Joel after Kenna’s father) and Charlotte Kimberly Hunt (Kimberly after Tycen’s mom) who would their children take after more ?: I remember discussing once a long time ago that the twins would end up resembling Kenna more, especailly Charlotte. I think Cooper would look like Tycen though, and when they were younger they had lighter hair like Tycen. Personality wise though, Cooper definitely takes after Tycen in the way he composes himself, he’s a gentle spirit. Charlotte is more of her mother in her attitude and how she carries herself but is stubborn and takes on too much like her dad.

Jaxon & Serena Verse: Yours From The Start

where was their first date ?: Jax took her to the fanciest most romantic restaurant in town once they made it official. He brought her flowers, picked her up, pulled out her chair. the whole ten yards. what my muse would do to cheer your’s up ?: not be an ass??? he would bring her surprises, flowers, chocolate, bring home her favorite ice cream or wine. and if he really wanted to cheer her up he’d come home from work early or take a day off and spend it at home. who wakes the other up with kisses ( and where ) ?: Serena, Jax is all about his sleep and he’s definitely the heavier sleeper of the two. She probably peppers his face with kisses until he stirs and wakes enough to kiss her back. who would pour water on the other to wake them up ?: Oh jax, he’s just like that. especially if she annoyed him prior how my muse would wake your’s up ?: it really depends on the stage in their relationship, no babies equal possible breakfast in bed or a big strong cuddle with a hard kiss to the cheek, with babies equal a light shove and a grunt. (but if jax wanted to apologize kind of he’d let her sleep in and wouldn’t wake her) who would start a food fight while baking or cooking ?: Serena, especially if he annoyed her prior who would suggest putting marijuana in the brownies ?: Jaxon, confiscates their kids weed and decides to make brownies. Serena loves the idea. who said i love you first and how ( or when ) did they say it ?: Jaxon, and I know when, after he finds out about Serena being pregnant he kinda freaks out and doesn’t know what to do but after a particularly long and dangerous day at work he thinks about her and the baby and goes back to apologize and tells her how he wants to be there for her and their baby because he knows he couldn’t live without her and he knows he’s going to love the baby because he is so in love with Serena. who would get into a physical altercation over the other ?: Oh absolutely Jaxon. Jaxon would hit someone if they even just slightly insulted Serena. who insists on purchasing a pet together ( and what kind of pet ) ?: They both have their own pets. But in later years I feel Serena would ask for another dog before Jax would. who is louder ( in and out of bed ) ?: Serena??? who takes more risks ( in and out of bed ) ?: Serena who would bring up the word ‘daddy’ first ?: Serena what is their shared, favourite kink ?: Probably roughness or a little BDSM, they both like restraints. describe their typical kiss: again it depends on the stage in their relationship, when there is no kids and they have the time they’re very in love with each other and their kisses show that (lots of holding the other). when there are kids around and they’re running short on time they just give a quick kiss, sometimes not even on the lips. how my muse shows their love for your’s: its as simple as not being a dick. when jax stops dicking around and acts serious for her its the main way he shows he loves her because it means he’s being attentive and listening to her. their favourite ways to give affection: Jax is all about contact as well. He likes having an arm around her, and he like top of the head kisses. And if he’s standing behind her he gives her little back rubs. who is more dominate ?: Jaxon who sings in the shower ?: Serena who washes the other’s hair in the shower ?: Serena who initiates shower sex despite being in a rush ?: Serena?? Although I feel that Jax always showers before and after work and thats always SUPER early or SUPER late who teases the other under the table at dinner with the family ?: Both. oh hella both of them. who has the weirder taste in music ?: Jaxon who would initiate dancing in the rain ?: Serena. who would be the one to suggest marriage ?: Jaxon would propose without needing suggestion but once they’re engaged he’s in no rush to actually tie the knot so Serena is definitely the one prodding him along. But I think that once it hits a certain point she just straight up tells him “listen ass, we’re getting married whether you want to or not. just be there on time.” what would they name their children ?: Carli Sophia Grace (i think that was her middle name) and Hunter Ian Parks (Hunter like Serena’s maiden name Hunt and Ian after Jax’s middle name and his father) who would their children take after more ?: Carli looks like a mixture of both of them but probably resembles Jax just a tad more, I know she has his eyes. Hunter probably looks a lot like Jax but he has his moms smile and I know Jax comments on that a lot. Temperment wise, Carli is a whole new game, she has Serena’s old personality with the “me now” mentality but she has Jax’s air of superiority. However, deep down she is probably more caring than both parents combined. Hunter is Jax in the sense that he feels he needs to be the man and take care of everyone but he’s like his mother in the sense that he isn’t afraid to love people.

#verse. yours from the start #verse. saving grace #i had an absolute crap day so i distracted myself with memes #here #enjoy these #tell me what you think and if im right #if you'd change things #JUST DISTRACT ME

1 note · View note

tistheswiftszn · 5 years ago

Text

I remember at the age of 7 singing every word to all your songs on the radio. At 10, seeing you live for THE!FIRST!TIME! & loving every single second of the Fearless tour Las Vegas (plz come back to my hometown😜) At 11, writing my sister a letter allll about my favorite Speak Now songs. When RED came out, I eagerly watched the livestream & couldn’t get over WANEGBT. Seeing the tour in SLC when I was 14 and I just remember freaking out the whole show. My sister has a photo of me when you came on stage singing State of Grace and it’s hilarious! I was dying. I remember planning out my 22 outfit for months leading up to the show and was so happy when it all came together. In middle school and high school, the day after an album release, all my friends would come up to me and ask me what I thought of all the songs. I’ve always been known as the Taylor Swift obsessed girl growing up haha! The 1989 tour was a dream and I loved watching the livestream and replaying the shake it off music video with my Tswift bff over and over again. When reputation came out, it was my first semester of college and I was going through the darkest time in my life & that album brought me so much happiness. It made me feel like I had someone on my side during the time I felt most alone. Somehow I spontaneously ended up at 4 shows that tour & it was the most magical summer of my life! And now, Lover has my heart and I listen to it on repeat. I could go on and on with all the memories over the 13 years, but I just want to say THANK YOU TAYLOR. I’m grateful to have always had you as a role model and your music to get me through everything in life.❤️❤️❤️ @taylorswift

#13yearsoftaylorswift #13yearsoftaylor

0 notes

consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis · 6 years ago

Text

11 Things People with Fibromyalgia Do That Seem High Maintenance But Really Aren't

New blog post! When you have fibromyalgia, life can be a little...unique. Simple activities or chores that other people do without a single thought can turn into major challenges, especially during a fibromyalgia flare-up. And it's easy to feel self-conscious or guilty for making seemly "high maintenance" requests that actually help us survive and thrive with chronic illness.

That's why I thought it was past time for me to write a sister post to my popular, "11 Things People with Celiac Disease Do That Seem 'High Maintenance' But Actually Aren't." So whether you have fibromyalgia and need a reminder that your "high maintenance" requests are 100% warranted and normal, or you don't have fibro and need help understanding what living with fibromyalgia is like, keep reading to learn 11 things fibromyalgia warriors do that seem high maintenance but really aren't!

1. Always traveling with a personal pillow, heat pack and other chronically awesome secret weapons.

'Cause when your neck, back and other muscles like to randomly freak out, making sure that you have a comfy pillow that won't leave a kink in your neck is a traveling MUST. Meanwhile, heat packs are ideal secret weapons for knotted muscles from hours sitting in a plane or car. In fact, when I'm going on long road trips, I'll even bring my heat pack and leave it on the inner car dash to heat up in the sun. If your car doesn't have heated seats to help your back during long travel days, that sun-heated heat pack can make a big difference!

2. Needing a realllly good bed.

I wish I could be that kinda girl who can fall asleep on a sofa, sleeping bag or very hard bed and wake up feeling like a well-rested Sleeping Beauty the next day. But at least in my experience, fibromyalgia sets HIGH standards when it comes to acceptable sleep conditions. Plus, since people with fibromyalgia already have a harder time falling asleep and sleeping deeply, having a comfy bed that makes the process a little easier is even more important. (And I promise: we - meaning everybody with fibromyalgia - are a whoooole lot happier and in a lot less pain when we have a good night's sleep on our side! So helping us sleep well is basically one of the BEST gifts you can ever give a fibromyalgia warrior!)

3. Wearing comfortable, supportive shoes 24/7.

Sure, there are plenty of fashionistas with fibromyalgia out there who wear high heels regardless of any discomfort. But since fibromyalgia already involves full-body muscle aches and pain, understand that we may err more on the side of comfort than chic.

4. Sticking to a routine.

Living with a chronic illness like fibromyalgia feels kinda like trying to put together an advanced jigsaw puzzle when all the pieces are hidden throughout your house. Life is full of trial and error, and figuring out what foods, activities and exercises make you feel good or trigger a flare-up. And once we figure out a routine that keeps our muscles relaxed, our mind clear and our body relatively happy...we like to stick to that routine! Now, I know that sometimes my semi-rigid schedule of stretching before bed or drinking a certain amount of water every day can frustrate my more spontaneous friends and family. However, I'm just doing what I need to do for my body to function relatively well. And if you have fibromyalgia and sometimes feel "rude" or guilty for sticking to a schedule...know that you aren't doing anything wrong and you aren't alone. Plus, the people who really matter in your life will make the effort to understand your chronically quirky schedule and find a happy compromise that makes them, you (and your body) pretty dang happy!

5. Sleeping in, taking naps and/or going to bed early.

My mom also has fibromyalgia, and all while I was growing up, I remember hearing her apologize for sleeping in so late on the weekends or having to go to bed so early. Now that I'm out in the real world and trying to "adult" as someone with fibromyalgia, I often find myself saying the same thing to friends who want to go out for late-night drinks or meet up for an early morning study party.

But the fact is when you have fibromyalgia, you don't sleep as well as the average person...so we need to sneak in extra sleep whenever and however we can.

6. Following a specific diet.

After I received my celiac disease diagnosis and went gluten free, one of the biggest surprises was how eating gluten free helped my fibromyalgia pain - and my mom's, after she went gluten free was well. More and more research is connecting a gluten free diet with relief from fibromyalgia pain, however. Plus, around 70 percent of fibromyalgia warriors struggle with irritable bowel syndrome or other digestive problems. Obviously, everyone is different and everyone - including people with fibromyalgia - thrives on a different diet. Plus, there are countless different suggestions and studies out there about what people with chronic pain "should" and "shouldn't" eat. What I hope more people realize, though, is that fibromyalgia affects much more than just our joints and muscles. It can also affect what we eat and how certain foods make us feel.

So when we say we "can't" eat something because it will make us feel bad or worsen our joint pain, we're just being honest and doing the best we can to fuel a happy, healthy bod!

7. Taking it exxxxxtra easy when a cold front comes through.

For some people, a cold front may involve nothing more than grabbing an extra sweater before they leave for work. In many people with fibromyalgia, though, cold weather - and just big weather changes in general - can trigger a major spike in our pain and fatigue. So, no, we aren't just being a "baby" when we're shivering in four layers of clothing. When people with fibromyalgia get chilled, they seem to have a harder time warming up again! And on that same note, yes, we may need some extra sleep and downtime and pain killers when the temperature drops. On the plus side, though, our joints may tell us about an incoming cold front waaaaay sooner than the local news. Just call us your personal weatherman!

8. Regularly canceling plans.

I get it. It's suuuuuper annoying when we cancel plans on the regular. But we don't do it because we're flighty or we take people's time for granted. A lot of the time, we just never know when our body is going to have a flare-up...especially since it can freak out after we do something we've done hundreds of times with no problem.

And trust us. We soooooo appreciate the friends and family who show us a little extra grace when we have to reschedule something yet again.

9. Asking people to avoid wearing allll the perfume.

Fun fact: increased light, touch and smell sensitivity are all common in people with fibromyalgia. So when it comes to perfume, we typically think less is more!

10. Constantly fidgeting and changing positions.

Spending hours sitting or standing in the exact same position is almost guaranteed to trigger a muscle knot or flare up...so I'm constantly moving. And I know many people with fibromyalgia do the same.

11. Asking for help with suuuuuper simple chores.

Of course, there are always chores that people don't like. (And if you actually enjoy scrubbing bathrooms, please let me in on your secret!). However, when you are living with chronic pain, there are some really simple chores that are waaaaay harder than people might expect. For example, scrubbing the shower often throws my neck and shoulder muscles totally out of whack.

So if we ask for a helping hand with something small like vacuuming or going out to buy groceries...know we're doing our best.

The Bottom Line

I like to joke to my boyfriend that I'm suuuper low maintenance...except when it comes to my sleep and my food! All laughs aside, though, having a chronic illness like fibromyalgia means that your life looks a little different than the average person...and that's totally OK. Because at the end of the day, every person has the same goal: to enjoy a decently healthy, happy life. And if your chronic illness means you need to make a few special requests to do that...the people who really get you will be happy to help! What's one "high maintenance" thing you do because of your chronic illness? Tell me in the comments! via Blogger https://ift.tt/2u89IWB

#Blogger #college #celiac #gluten free #coeliac #celiacs #paleo #primal #foodporn #foodart

0 notes

survivormyanmar-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Ep. #5 - “You Should Be Fucking Festive!” - Amanda

A tribe swap occurred based on a number between 1-1000 that the players chose when they applied to the game. Everyone who picked on odd number was put on Togye and everyone who picked an even number was put on Mata. On the new tribes, Steffen found the Legacy Advantage that was hidden on the blog. The tribes were given their next Immunity challenge which was the Lip Sync music video challenge. While both tribes got bad reviews from the judges, Mata pulled off the victory with their take on “Best of Both Worlds”, even with Amanda using her challenge advantage for Togye. With everyone but Ashley getting to visit The Cave, it was completely ransacked. Amanda found an extra vote and both Keegan and Linus found a Hidden Immunity Idol. Heading into Tribal Council, Togye was split on the vote with the 4 Fans and 4 Favs going against each other. 10 minutes before Tribal, Amanda decided she would use her extra vote and which broke the tie sending Adrian Home. Keegan also ended up playing his Hidden Immunity Idol to ensure his safety but it was not needed.

I’d totally film a vid confessional, but my hair is in a towel right now. So I just got thrown onto a new Mata tribe… in the minority of old Mata members. Allll the other Official Fives got swapped over to Togye, leaving me with just Linus and Leah. Good thing I was still trying to make connections with them, but not as crazy as the alliance. I like both of them a lot and genuinely want to stick with them in a vote on this tribe. Hope to win immunity, I may need it here.

Tribe swap came. Not the three tribe swap I was anticipating but into two tribes with uneven numbers. Fortunately, four of the Official Five are on the new Togye, with four faves. There’s no majority which is good and bad. Unfortunately, the new Mata has a faves majority and our alliance member Krysten is over there. I’m confused about how to proceed. We very well may be picked off one by one.

So this swap is…. Interesting. I am just glad that I am in the situation of having a completely split tribe rather than being in the minority. I really hope Steffen stays safe. He is like my #1. I also hope that our tribe just wind the immunity challenges up until merge. Idk where everyone’s loyalties lay and Idk if I can even trust some of my old tribe mates. I hope having won last immunity does not make me a target. Brett also won and is on my tribe so maybe it wont make us targets then.

Another blindside went well. Maybe it wasn’t truly a blindside but he did think people were doing Leah. I am shocked that we tribe swapped into just 2 tribes. Especially at final 15. That left tribes 8-7 and in a sense the tribes were split kinda fairly. 4 Faves went to Togye and 4 went to Mata. While 4 Fans went to Togye and 3 went to Mata. That is the sad part. Mata Is Faves majority and Fans not so much. Now I truly think The Original Five alliance is golden and would work very well but Krysten is the only one stuck on Mata. She is going to need to find some type of way to get herself out of this mess. I can’t believe it though that the swap did work well. I want Linus out and I hope 4 faves go for him. Leah has ammunition to flip as well. I gave Leah as much info as she needs and she can easily through both Linus and Krysten under the bus with what the info I gave her. Hopefully that just doesn’t bite me in the butt come due time. My alliance as of now is The Original 4 Mata’s and I think all will stay true. I think we all are aiming to getting Ashley on our side. Ashley seems like a doll and I would love to work with her and if we are able to convince any favorite to flip to our side its her. Amanda is another try I can go for while Sam and Tommy I think would be instant targets of ours. I will push Sam to go first just as Tommy may be someone I could use in the future. If we go to tribal I thin my alliance is willing to go to rocks. I am for sure. But right now I need to one keep myself in good graces with the favorites and not only that but my tribe. If the 4 faves vote me on the revote I have to trust my alliance wont flip to me. Also bonding with the faves would keep the vote off me. Now I don’t see the problem of them targeting me because if my alliance stays true i’ll be immuned and then the rest draws. The only person I would consider flipping on from my tribe is Brett but I’m handing away a numbers advantage just yet.

That moment you want to try and lie to one of the faves in order to vote with you. I mean, I hope I have placed my eggs in the correct basket, otherwise I’m fucked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BymxmTDsefA

I don’t know if i said this already but I FUCKIN MISS STEFFEN! can we pls merge thx

So for this upcoming immunity challenge we have to lip sync to a song and our tribe iconically choose a song I don’t think anyone would have assumed. We choose Stick to the status quo by High School musical. I think the song is very good, upbeat, energetic and just fun. I know I will do an amazing job as I have a vision in my head of how I want this video to be just dont know how to edit. Yet doesn’t matter everyone else needs to give it there all.

youtube

Yooooo, I’m trapped in a co workers car an hour away from civilization and I have to pee really freaking bad, so now seems like a good time to make a confessional XD. So a tribe swap!! Woo! The new tribe has only like 3 fans, and like, I wasn’t planning to stick to the fans anyways, but with a fan minority there is no reason for the favs to try and pull me into their side so I will have to play my cards right. As soo as the swap hit Krysten and Leah all of a sudden are adding me to an alliance chat and acting like the 3 of us have to stick together… Where the hell was that eagerness to get me in while we were on our starting tribe. They’re faaaaaaaake as fuck I tellz ya. With fans like these who needs enemies. Assessment of people. Ting Ting: Trying to talk to ting ting is painful. Like, I’ve heard a bunch of people just love her, but she is so freaking unresponsive… Christian: I absolutely love Christian. If there is one person who I want to work with really badly it’s her. She seems very genuine. Krysten: I don’t mind krysten other than the sudden caring about having me as a vote now that she could be in danger. I got the feeling she was Brett’s number 2 on the starting tribe so she could be dangerous at a merge. Leah: who? We were on a starting tribe but I still feel like I know more about the history of Lithuania than I do about her. (Hint, I know virtually nothing about Lithuanian history) Steffen: I like Steffen obviously, I think everyone does. At first I thought he was someone I really wanted to work with, but after talking to others I’m realizing everyone thinks that, which means he has enough options that he may not pick me. hes the lease of this new tribe for sure. Jay: Jay and I can’t seem to hold a conversation to save our lives. She seems cool enough and we’ve both even made jokes about it, but like, I just wish we were both on at the same time more since my number one goal right now is to impress the favourites. Linus: What an icon, clearly the biggest threat to win :P . Jk, I’m a mess this game haha.

If we lose this immunity challenge i’m gonna die. I froze my ass off and murdered my phone for this shit!!!! Also OF FUCKING COURSE we get given a music video challenge right after we have a swap and Steffens not on my tribe anymore. He literally always wins music videos so of course i wanna be a bitch and kick his ass at his favorite thing SO I DECIDED TO USE MY ADVANTAGE. I’m such a good friend. lmfaoooo anyways I really hope we win this challenge and if we do I really hope Leah and Steffen make it through tribal alright. I really wanna get to merge so so bad so we need to win this shit.

why the FUCK did they not include my wig snatching scene?! anyway i knew that was a losing video but like… did adrian throw it? like i can probably get my dog to edit better but hey that’s all fine. we’re just split right down the middle with tribal lines right now and i don’t really know if i’d wanna defect yet or not. who knows.

I want Tommy to like be an evil genius with me but he doesn’t want to! like someone said that they heard his name but he “promised to keep them anonymous” LIKE THAT’S NOT SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR WORD ON THAT’S CALLED #DIRT and we can use that to spread paranoia between the fans!!!! god. I guess it’s just not time to be evil yet but I can feel it almost surfacing.

although i am a little happy that the game is getting more #crackedt like we need more paranoia

Wow what an eventful day. We lost the challenge, which is whatever. The vote is likely going to rocks and nothing has really changed on that front. Tommy is acting incredibly weird about this whole thing though and I’m not really sure how to respond to that. On a major plus side, I found a hidden immunity idol in the cave!! It didn’t come at an opportune moment, I could be knocked out via rocks or by someone flipping in the next tribal. It’s tempting to play the idol to make sure I’m safe, no matter what. On the other hand, if I play the idol and didn’t need to, it’s kind of a waste. I’m so conflicted.

So much can change when you go for a 7-mile run. A 60-minute workout and a shower later, and it’s time for a tribal swap from 15 players into two tribes. But first, I think it’s funny that the Favorites voted off GASTON and RICHIE as their two first boots. If memory serves, I cited the two of them as my favorite Favorites from the beginning! Apparently they were so charming, they were tossed out as threats immediately! I have to hand it to the Favorites–they’re not too dumb for a collection of students. In the swap, I finally shake LEAH loose, but I also lose dear friend and partner KRYSTEN in the process and friend/pawn LINUS as well. Fortunately, I get to keep my closest ally KEEGAN, loyal soldier ADRIAN, and loose cannon NEHE. From the favorites, we gain Disney freak AMANDA, scavenger champion ASHLEY, and two of their men–SAM and TOMMY. With 4 Favorites and 3 Fans on New Mata, I would be inclined to throw the challenges to keep KRYSTEN and LINUS safe. However, it’s not so easy. New Togye has 4 from each tribe, so there’s no guarantee Old Mata will be the victorious side if we do indeed throw. Say we go 4 vs. 4, tie, and go to rocks. That might not necessarily go in our favor. With that said, I’d much rather go to rocks and gamble for the chance of putting the Fans in the majority instead of being expendable like Fans are in most Fans vs. Favorites seasons. We get the challenge and it’s my personal nightmare–a lip sync off. And what’s more, the majority of my tribe has AWFUL taste in music. At one point, NEHE and allegedly straight TOMMY were hell bent on doing High School Musical’s “Stick to the Status Quo.” IN WHAT WORLD IS THAT A VIABLE CHOICE IN 2016?! I think I had a perfectly sellable idea of doing the Cups song from Pitch Perfect so one person could lip sync the whole thing while everyone else did the cup motion–it would look really cool on camera! But alas, we have an irritant in the form of TOMMY. He is a grown adult in the United States of America with no access to cups. I asked him straight up: “What street corner is the cardboard box in which you live?” This guy is obnoxious. He has terrible taste and is just a turd of a person to talk to 80% of the time. Oh not to mention that he kept saying he should sit out for some moronic reason and then kept trying to lead the tribe. “I think I should sit out. But first, let me dictate what we do for this challenge. But I shouldn’t be involved. No you shouldn’t do this song. You should do one I choose. Well it seems like everyone wants to participate, so I’ll sit out.” Just STOP, dude. You’re embarrassing all of us, yourself especially. NEHE is not helping either. He is so far up TOMMY’s ass and I have no idea why. Part of me wants to possibly acknowledge that NEHE is being smart in befriending TOMMY so that he’s not at the top of the Favorites’ hit list. Part of me thinks he just relates to TOMMY’s idiotic and childish behavior. Since the challenge began, NEHE and TOMMY have been annoying just about everyone while the rest of us have tried to be helpful. They’re both being massive morons and I don’t appreciate it at all. The challenge ruling came down and we didn’t even have to throw it. Our video was so terrible (I truly gave it my best) that the new Mata destroyed us even with the help of a 10-point advantage from AMANDA. I really want to give a reassuring look to KRYSTEN and LINUS. I’m very proud of both of them. But now it’s time to sack up and prepare for war. NEHE is already spinning out. ADRIAN told him he’s their target which I don’t think is even a little bit true, but of course NEHE is eating it up. When you’re 15 and home schooled, your world is VERY small. This is all he thinks about, surely. We discussed as a team and the plan is to attempt to divide the favorites, using ASHLEY to vote against her former tribemates while we take the opportunity to eliminate someone else: 4-3-1. I doubt it will work. I think our best case scenario is to go to rocks and hopefully be on the winning side. I think the worst case scenario is getting idol-ed out of the game because Tommy allegedly has an idol. I’d rather not. I’d rather pick the wrong rock. Hopefully I can trust my side and we pick the right person to vote for. Otherwise we are looking at a loss and to begin being steamrolled by the Favorites. And I refuse to just let that happen. I know what I signed up for. I’m going to do everything in my power to defy that. I’ve talked to AMANDA about the vote and I’ve leveled with her 100%. She understands the dynamic the most because her last season was Fans vs. Favorites and she was in my shoes! I told her that if she’s working with her former tribemates that I wouldn’t try to dissuade her, but my door is always open if she wants to reject them. I was very open and respectful with her and I’m trying to make this as classy as possible when it comes to her because I feel like she might gravitate toward that attitude. I have definitely come around on her. I said some things about her bio video that I completely take back. She’s a great person with a huge heart. We’ll see how this whole thing shakes out. I don’t trust NEHE. I feel like the Favorites have the upper hand. I really just hope that ADRIAN, KEEGAN, and I are still standing when the dust settles on this vote. That’s all I want.

anyway I MISS STEFFEN AND JAY AND ALL I HAVE OVER HERE IS A FLASHLIGHT TO KEEP ME COMPANY I only plan on using the flashlight PLATONICALLY, THANK YOU.

So, after careful consideration of everything, IM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. Unless by some miracle we can convince Amanda or Ashley to flip to the fans, it’s to the rocks we go. I have an idol, I can play it and guarantee I’m staying but that really doesn’t help me if one of the fans goes home anyways. And then we have to consider one of the faves having an idol. This is all one big messy situation that I don’t want to be part of.

That challenge was fun! Just filmed a few minutes on a Saturday afternoon. So glad we don’t have to go to tribal. Just have to keep building my connections in case we do have to go soon.

We lost the immunity challenge. My alliance kinda wanted this to happen so we can go to rocks and get the numbers advantage as also in hopes of flipping into voting with us. After we lost though Brett came up with the plan to get the flipper to vote the wrong way or flush an idol. The person I wanted out was Sam as I had no connection him but news came back to me that it’s Tommy who is targeting for the vote to be me. That kinda surprises me. I had good talks with tommy I truly hope its a bluff. I have to rely on bonds with Ashley and Amanda in hopes that they don’t try and vote me. At this point in time I am a paranoid mess. My alliance is messy and isn’t thinking straight of who we target. Keegan scares me of maybe flipping. I don’t like Brett at this moment because of his personality but he’s the only one i’m 100% will go to rocks. I just have to keep drilling in my head if I go only 6 fans remain and 8 Favorites. With them in minority too. This is the chance to not be in minority. I am not going this round I will not have it. I haven’t gotten to show my full potential yet and I will not let this messed up scum of a person named Tommy fuck this up for me. I will not go home this tribal council that’s for sure. If they do vote me I need my boys to not flip. I truly do. If we go to rocks I am safe. The also best thing about it is if we tie we can easily use that to get Ashley and Amanda. Tell them that our side isn’t flipping so unless they want to go to rocks they need to save me and vote Sam. This can possibly be the first big vote this season. The past votes I was in was blindsides in themselves but it was more so a group leading the tribe. Now the game has officially begun. I won’t be the one to be taken out though. I won’t stand for that. This is my first Tumblr Survivor game. I done nothing like this I will not let it be taken away from me. Sam played before and he made it far before. It’s time for Nehe to shine.

who the fuck tries to keep their word on survivor better yet who the fuck tries to keep their word on ONLINE SURVIVOR also trevor what does my flashlight do i’m getting really bored of it

When you try to spice up your game by playing a little villain here and there and you get away with it. People are so fucking gullible, it makes me laugh.

OKAY HERE COMES MY RANT So everyone finally agrees on All I Want for Christmas is You after being pains in the ass and then Adrians like “well the mariah carey one is copyrighted on youtube” or something which is understandable so hes gonna use the Fifth Harmony one. Okay cool whatever. Well maybe im a dumbass for assuming but chances are if you agree to doing a holiday song, YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING FESTIVE. LIKE DRAW A FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE DO SOMETHING LIKE COME THE FUCK ON PEOPLE. I FROZE MY ASS OFF TO BE BY BALLS THAT LOOKED LIKE ORNAMENTS. MY PHONE LITERALLY SHUT OFF BECAUSE IT WAS SO COLD. WHICH ALSO HERE’S A BIG FUCK YOU TO ADRIAN, IM THE ONLY FESTIVE ONE AND IM USED THE LEAST IN THE VIDEO? HOW THE HELL DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE????? LITERALLY the entire tribe was saying how great my video was and then its used literally once AND ITS THE PART WHERE I MESS UP AND SPECIFICALLY TOLD ADRIAN NOT TO USE THAT PART. Like was Adrian TRYING to make us lose? wtf man. My one shot video of me alone without any editing probably would have gotten a better score than the shit this tribe put together. I even used my advantage and we still fucking lost. Thats how much they suck. Anyways I’m gonna put my video alone linked here because that way people know how much my tribe flopped :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovZLwir-QLw OH also here’s some bloopers, my friend recording it fell lmfao https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhflLf8AjLE Anyways now that my rant about the challenge is done, time to rant about tribal. So the most likely scenario is that the vote will be 4-4 because we have four fans and four faves. So we’ve been trying to see if any of the fans will crack. Brett doesnt seem to wanna budge hes just trying to get us to flip to them. Nehe didnt answer my message and i havent gotten to talk to Adrian but I was talking to Keegan and he seems to be crackinng a bit. He mentioned something about wishing there was an easier option than rocks and i was like well there is…. vote with us lmfao well i said it better than that but im summing it up here. He was saying that hes thinking about flipping but hes scared and that he’s worried if he votes with us that we’ll just vote him out next week so i gave him my word that i wouldnt vote him out next week and Ashley was gonna reassure him. I used the fact that the last time i played i was a fan and that i actually understand how scary it is as opposed to tommy/ashley/sam and i think that was a bit of comfort to him. I really hope it works and keegan flips and votes with us. I dont wanna go to fucking rocks. I also hope no one from our side chickens out and votes me out or something. If i went home when i was the only one who gave a fuck about this challenge im gonna be so pissed. Also i miss Gaston and i hate so much that he left last week. And i need merge to happen right now because i hate being on calls with Leah and Steffen and not being able to talk about shit I WANNA TELL THEM SO MUCH AND I CANT ITS KILLING ME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY2K0tM6IUE

yeah adrian is kinda dumb for trying to tell me he hasn’t heard anything about the vote yet RIGHT AS WE’RE ALL TALKING ABOUT HOW THE VOTE MIGHT GO TO ROCKS IN THE FAVES CHAT honestly just like other people have said things that make me believe you are lying. not only that but he TOLD TOMMY “hey it’s either you or nehe going” BEFORE HE APPROACHED ME like actually please try to do a good job at lying also tommy’s lowkey a puss but I need him for my game until merge

I have like no clue on what the outcome of tonight will bring. I did my best to negotiate myself out of the mess i was in last night. I still could very well be the vote. My alliance decided that the smart choice tonight was to vote Ashley. In hopes if we draw rocks we get her safety and get tommy or sam out. I really hope this doesn’t bite us in the butt. More so me.

So losing the challenge really sucks… But I sat out so hopefully no one sees it as my fault that we lost or anything. Honestly going to tribal is really scary. We are even. And if someone does not flip we will go to rocks and that will not be good for any of us. I am considering flipping and voting alongside Keegan, who I am starting to like a bit. Leegan seems to be willing to flip of necessary. So I am hoping to be able to work that out maybe. An alliance chat of just the faves has been made and even though I like them all, I can’t jist stick to tribal lines like this.

I have a bad feeling about this. I don’t want to get 15th though, so I’m fighting as hard as I can to stay, there’s just not much I can do with the tribal lines the way they are. This might be my last confessional, I really don’t want my game to end. So this is pretty saddening but I played as well as I could with the dynamic given to me. I really wish the tribal lines weren’t so strong this season and people were more willing to the idea of playing the game of survivor instead of FvF. I’m praying it’s not me tonight, or another one of the favorites.

Just remembered I haven’t submitted a confession this round, so I figured I’d give my loyal fanbase a little update. The swap seems to be going pretty well so far since we won immunity. This gives me some extra time to bond with the new members, which isn’t a huge priority since the former faves have a majority on our tribe. Regardless, it’s always good to meet everyone and know who’s trustworthy.

#mustlearntoadapt #conffessionals

0 notes