#anyway ranted at the bathroom mirror for thirty minutes

[sharkieboi]

I need to remember every time I start getting righteously angry and having mirror rants and imaginary arguments that I just need to get stoned. 110% of the time it calms me down and puts me in a better headspace to think about what’s making me mad. or even just realize that it’s a stupid thing I don’t need to be mad about and just forget it.

[shinidamachu]

Ours

Summary: The stakes are high. The water's rough. But this love is ours. Word Count: 10.816 Genre: Fluff? Angst? Who’s to say? Certainly not me, the author. Fandom: InuYasha Pairing: Inukag Format: oneshot AO3 Link: 🌹 Fanfic.Net Link: 🌹

“Sota, put this thing away. I won’t ask you again.”

“Fine!” The teenager let out in exasperation, putting the phone back into the confinement of his pocket.

His grandpa was making him lose his mind. In the interlude of fifteen minutes, the old man had managed to rant about how kids these days always had their faces stuffed into some kind of screen twice.

The bit about damaging the sight and going blind by the age of thirty-five because of it? A lecture all of its own.

“In my time,” he began, making Sota fight the urgency to groan, “we treated the elderly with respect and behaved at the table. It’s a sacred moment!”

“We’re not even eating, anyway! Kagome and her stupid boyfriend are late.”

“Sota! Manners!” Intervened his mom. “We don’t want InuYasha to think Kagome’s family is made up of inconsiderate barbarians, do we?”

Sota rolled his eyes, but remained silent. It was gonna be a long night.

There they were, in Earth’s lamest restaurant, waiting for his sister to arrive with her new boyfriend, who, going with the odds, was probably a goody-two-shoes nerd, just like that Hojo guy.

There was no one his age within the radius of a mile.

He was starving.

And to top it all off, bored to death.

It wasn’t like Sota didn’t love his family. He really did. Besides, seeing Kagome again was something he was looking forward to. Since she had moved out for medical school, they hadn’t spent much time together and although the boy would never admit it, he had quite missed their daily bickering.

He just wished they could met at home, in company of his TV and video games, where he could actually avoid his grandpa’s constant scolding in the holy peace of his bedroom.

“Look! Look, look, look, look, look.” As if on cue, the man in question elbowed Sota’s arm, coaxing him to eye the restaurant entrance. He silently snorted, wondering why his grandpa felt the annoying need to repeat the same word grumpier and more demanding each time. Didn’t he know Sota could hear him just fine from the first one? Nevertheless, wanting to get it over with, the boy did as he was told. A silver haired gentleman stayed awkwardly in the middle of the entryway, his attention torned between the salon and the outside. Even from afar, his demonic heritage stood out, but the dog ears crowning his head wasn’t the only remarkable feature he carried. “See his arms? What a disgrace, to dishonor his own body like that. I pray you, my boy, that you never inflict such disappointment on your old grandfather. I couldn’t bear the pain of seeing my only grandson grow into mafia scum.”

Sota didn’t respond the overdramatic affirmation. He was wonderstruck.

In spite of the anxiety the guy irradiated, he still looked pretty cool, dressed on dark jeans and an elegant white shirt. He had his sleeves rolled up to the biceps, displaying an impressive amount of tattoos. They covered all of the skin, from his wrists to his forearms, possibly ending at the shoulders. It was hard to make out the different shapes, given the distance, but every single one was drawn in black ink.

“Stop staring, you two.” Sang his mom. And Sota was about to obey.

But then, in entered his sister.

Kagome clung to the tattooed, supposedly criminal man, causing him to relax on the spot as her gaze scanned the room.

When the girl finally found them, her face lighted up in an excited smile. She said what, reading her lips, Sota interpreted as ‘there they are’ before taking him by the hand and heading right to their suddenly silent table.

It seemed that the night wouldn’t pass by without its share of emotions, after all.

“InuYasha,are you ready? I don’t want to be late!”

The hanyou sighed in front of the mirror. Did she mean finished with dressing up ready or psychologically ready? It didn’t matter. The answer was no for both.

InuYasha had tried on almost every clothe he had. It served him right for letting piles and more piles of worn-out band t-shirts compose his wardrobe.

His mother had a point. He could definitely use a little makeover.

Every piece felt either too ordinary or too odd, so InuYasha gave up and went back to the button-down shirt he had put first — one of the few decent things he had to wear.

Now closed in their bathroom, determined to pay his mother’s atelier a visit as soon as possible and obsessively aligning the outfit, he couldn’t help but think the reflection staring back didn’t look like him at all.

“Actually, can we reschedule?”

“No way!” Squeaked his girlfriend, her steps louder and louder in her approach. “We’ve been postponing this for too long. Okay, I’m coming in!” She announced, opening the door at once.

“Whatever happened to privacy?”

“It moved out when I moved in.” His girlfriend threw him her best heart stopping smirk and walked in his direction. “Don’t you look gorgeous?”

“Keh. You always say that.” And he had yet to hear it without blushing.

“It’s always true.” Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck. With the extra inches the heels provided, she was nearly his height and her rose lips hovered temptingly within the reach of his. “Won’t you get hot on this shirt, though? We’re in the middle of summer.”

“I’ll be fine!” InuYasha burst out before he could bite back his tongue. Kagome considered him attentively, her narrowed eyes growing wide in realization.

“You’re hiding the tattoos, aren’t you?”

InuYasha looked away.

“I want them to like me.”

It was a difficult enough task to achieve. Being a half breed, he was despised by demons and feared by humans — apparently his ears, fangs and claws, not to mention the unusual color of his eyes and hair, were a lot for them to take in. The absolute last thing InuYasha needed was for her family to think he was some sort of delinquent too. Which, of course, they would.

He figured, since people would be afraid of him either way, he might as well took it to his advantage and do whatever he wanted, consequences be damned. As a result, whoever wasn’t scared of his demon blood sure pissed their pants at the sight of his tattoos, taking him for a criminal. InuYasha couldn’t care less. There was a good amount of fights against human opponents he won that way.

But that was before her.

Not caring is easier when you have nothing to lose.

InuYasha didn’t doubt his actions would blow up on his face, eventually. It was all they ever did. But never, not even in a million years, he could have predicted Kagome. Now consequences were here to bite him in the ass.

Her folks had plenty to unpack the way it was. At least with the tattoos he could do something about.

“InuYasha…” Her slender fingers caressed his chin, demanding his focus entirely for herself. He complied. “You don’t have to do this. I want you to be yourself.” She grabbed his right arm and rolled the sleeve all the way up, revealing the intricate mosaic of figures, doodles and forms he collected along the last decade. “They are going to love you.”

“Easy for you to say, now that my family worships the ground you walk on.”

It had only taken a mild sunday lunch. By the end of it, Kagome had Mr. and Mrs. Taisho eating from the palm of her hand, just like she had their son. That was the day his mother had furtively handed him the engagement ring she inherited from her mother, claiming Kagome was the one he should give it to when the right moment comes. There was no falter from his part.

A month had passed, Kagome and his mom texted one another on a daily basis, and the damn thing still weighed deep inside his pocket. InuYasha carried it with him everywhere, waiting for the perfect occasion and concerned that she might find it if he left it lying around.

“Well, worship is such a strong word...” Said Kagome, doing with his left sleeve the same thing she did with the other, but this time allowing herself to trace the black marks of his arm, lingering on the newest, the little sakura flower InuYasha had gotten solely for her. He raised his eyebrows. “Okay, maybe your parents do it a little bit, but your brother hates my guts. You gotta give me that.”

“Nah, Sesshoumaru hates everyone. You ain’t special.”

“Huh… Thanks?”

InuYasha smiled at her adorable grimace, but it was short lived.

“What if they don’t? Like me, I mean.”

Both of them knew it was a real possibility.

If they were being honest, they hated each other at the beginning themselves. Most of it, undoubtful, due to repressed sexual attraction. Still, they were constantly jumping at each other’s throats before starting to jump at each other’s bones.

Attracting and repelling like magnets, they have been through a crazy amount of screaming, crying and slamming doors. Once it was clear that what they had was much more than sex, the need had risen to protect that love at all costs.

They had to.

Every odd was against them.

He was a half demon. Most people hated him at worse and tolerated at best — and that had a lot to do with his family’s money, Kagome being one of the uncommon exceptions. In fact, she was the exception to essentially every rule he had.

She was also a human. No, not only a human. That would be too easy. The girl was a priestess. Her family was responsible for a fucking shrine.

Their relationship was the epitome of taboo.

So they had kept it on the low for as long as they could, adopting a discreet profile even after she moved in with him. They didn’t want to risk it, didn’t want to jinx it. It wasn’t worth it.

Their love was theirs and theirs alone, too precious to fall into the cruel claws of the world.

It was a shame it couldn’t stay that way forever.

Sooner or later they would have to leave the safe heaven inside those walls and he was terrified of finding out whether or not they could take it.

Kagome’s kindness, her unprejudiced beliefs... They had to come from somewhere, and she affirmed it was from her family. How would her folks react, however, once those beliefs were put to the test? InuYasha learned from experience that, sometimes, people struggled to stick to their morals the second they stopped being convenient.

“Then it will be just another bump on the road. What’s one more?”

Her hands flew to undo his top button — and nothing more. Tensing involuntarily when her digits contacted the exposed skin, InuYasha let out a shaky breath as she retreated to explore his chest over the shirt, shamelessly going lower.

“Weren’t you the one in a hurry just now?”

“I am.” She defied.

“I’m not.”

InuYasha placed his hands on her waist and pressed her against the nearest wall. He couldn’t help it, not after the things she said. Especially when she said them with that dress on — light blue, contrasting with the darkness of her hair, the skirt hugging her waistline, widening at the bottom. No sleeves. Only provocative, unbelievably thin straps. So different from her everyday white clothes.

It was his favorite and he had no doubt it was intentional.

“InuYasha…”

Her mouth was off limits. InuYasha knew better than to mess up her makeup mere minutes away of such important event. Her neck, on the other hand…

“Don’t you look gorgeous?” He asked, nose burying on her skin.

“Uh, uh. D-don’t you sweet talk me.” Kagome tilted her head, giving him unrestrained access and grabbing a handful of his hair as he hooked her leg around him, fingers lifting her skirt up, venturing further and further.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She was limp in his embrace. InuYasha recognized by instinct when his body was the only thing preventing hers from melting to the ground.

“We… We’re doing this.”

“I know.” He eagerly kissed her collarbone, downing to the start of the cleavage. 

“It’s just a harmless dinner...” She was panting now, nails traveling through his back, applying sufficient pressure to make quite the damage had he been naked. InuYasha went up her throat, his tongue wandering free.

“Hmmm.”

“...And then… T-then we’ll go... to my childhood house.” Kagome paused and he knew it was to hold back a moan as he relentlessly kissed his way up to her chin and jawline, finding destination at her earlobe. “You’ll get…” He bit it. “... T-to see my old bedroom,” bargained her. InuYasha smirked.

“I’m listening,” he whispered, returning to her neck. InuYasha had every intention to suck on the inviting flesh until it left a mark, but restrained himself. Something told him her family wouldn’t be fond of it.

His resolve not to claim her lips, though, were increasingly fading. Whatever. Better beg for her taste now and for her forgiveness later.

Reading his thoughts — as she often did —, Kagome gently pushed him away. Good. Their proximity, allied with the escalating scent of her arousal, wasn’t making them any favors in the ‘getting out of the house’ department.

“Come on,” she tapped his hand, subtly pleading for him to release her leg, a lead that InuYasha followed with extreme reluctance. He observed as his girlfriend regained composure. The fingers that not long ago were mapping, grasping and scratching every inch of him now fixed the dress strap he had no memory of pulling down. To a newcomer, it would look as if nothing had ever happened. “We’ll have a wonderful time.”

“To be fair, I was having a wonderful time just now.”

“Oh, I can tell you were. That’s exactly why we better get going.”

“Fine.” InuYasha sighed, letting himself be dragged out of their bathroom as she giggled at his less than thrilled disposition.

And there was something about her laughter — so vibrant and carefree — that, combined with the welcome comfort of her hand on his, made InuYasha feel invincible. Having Kagome by his side was like entering the boxe ring already ten points ahead.

“Do you want to go through the basics again?”

Crossing the living room, InuYasha recited his mental notes without missing a beat, the perfect picture of an A+ student, even if for the most part of his life, he had been a solid C+.

“Don’t swear. Don’t bring up your father. Don’t mention we live together.”

“Good! Unless...” Kagome stopped and turned to him. Half hesitant, half hopeful. “Do you think I should tell mom I moved here?”

InuYasha was conflicted. It was only fair that she did. His parents had heard the news the day she brought all of her stuff in. And in spite of knowing he’d give her the world if she so wished, Kagome never asked for much.

Yet, he was scared. Scared that Mrs. Higurashi disapproved the arrangement. Scared she would tell her daughter to leave.

What, then?

He had forgotten how his apartment — their apartment — used to be before the bright colors and pout-porris. Before the plants, the second toothbrush on the sink, the pictures frames and the intoxicating scent her body left all over the sheets.

And he didn’t want to remember.

According to Kagome, however, her mother was an understanding, open-minded woman, who put her children’s happiness above everything else. Which certainly  worked in his favor, since InuYasha had turned making Kagome happy into his daily mission and, modesty aside, he believed to be doing a pretty damn good job so far.

InuYasha starred at their fingers, still interlocked, and reminded to be brave.

“If you feel like you should...”

“I do! I honestly do. We used to tell every little thing to each other. I miss that.”

“Then go ahead.”

“Really?” She thanked him with a tight hug, her palpable excitement coming off her in a giant wave that almost washed all of his doubts away. Almost. 

“What about the others?”

“Sota is a child, it’s not of his business.”

“And your grandfather?”

Kagome moved within his embrace, revealing pursed lips when she did.

“Yeah... He’ll definitely need more time. Let’s give it three to five years!”

A surprised laugh left his lips when he saw the truth behind the joke.

“You’re freaking out about telling him, aren’t you?”

“Am not!”

“You totally are!” He said, deflecting from the fact that he, too, was panicking and that waiting five years or more to have that talk was actually a very appealing idea.

“It’s just… He can be a tad traditional sometimes.”

“Awesome!” InuYasha said, with every drop of sarcasm he could gather. “We both know I’m all about traditions.”

Smiling, she reached for his hand again.

“Shall we?”

They call it ripple effect. It’s the situation in which one event produces a certain impact, inevitably spreading and producing further consequences. The concept usually comes with the classic example of throwing a rock in a steady pond, which InuYasha thought fitting. Whenever the half demon first stepped into a crowd of strangers, he pretty much felt like that rock.

Heads would turn straight to him in cascade. Surprise. Terror. Disgust. Condescension. Pity. As years went by, he had gotten it all.

Be as it may, soon enough the staring would abruptly get directed anywhere else and be replaced with whispers they didn’t know he could hear. Eventually, the waters would settle, but after the initial contact, the pond could never go back to the way it was. Neither could the rock.

His father had taught him to keep his chin up no matter what. The hatred of lesser men was an irrelevant price to pay for being unique. He should be proud of who he is. His mother had told him not to seek validation from others when he already had people who loved and cared for him unconditionally. Those were the guidances InuYasha religiously lived by. Still, sometimes, the hanyou wished he was allowed to just be. 

That night was surely the case.

The restaurant was crowded. It should be, in such a busy hour. The habitual glaring didn’t go unnoticed by InuYasha when he walked in — it bore holes on his flesh and broke into his bones. As usual, he brushed it off.

His focus oscillated like the flames inside the ornamental lanterns that provided warmth to the place in shades of red, orange and yellow.

Before him, undistinguished buzz raised above the background music and the pervasive smell of food served as a cruel reminder that he hadn’t put anything in his stomach since lunch. The lights, the sounds, the people, the scents. It was an overwhelming sensation to contemplate it all. In another day, in a calmer state of mind, he would have spotted her family in a heartbeat. Kagome, the loving daughter she was, had shown him enough pictures of them for the task to be a child’s play. Still, he didn’t dare to look. Not yet. Not when he was so unsure of what he might find written all over their faces. The same phrases on different pages.

Behind him, a delighted Kagome chatted in the staircase with the woman she had introduced as her middle school history professor. InuYasha had promptly forgotten her name. In no mood for engaging the conversation and wanting to save all of his small talk for dinner, he had politely excused himself, opting for walking ahead while the two of them reminisced.

Obviously, he had underestimated her communication skills, because a considerable amount of time had passed until Kagome caught up to him. Her arm tangled up with his quite easily. All at once, everything was gone, reduced to the speck of dust they were. There was only Kagome, searching the room in concentration. And there was only him, dazed by the smile that accommodated so well on her face, by the colors dancing on her cheeks and lights glittering on her eyes.

“There they are!” Kagome announced, breaking the spell.

His throat went completely dry. On his brain, sirens ran off, telling him to run for his life. How disappointed would she get if he grabbed her and fled? InuYasha also wondered, in vain, what the opponents he had faced would think, if they discovered what a coward the man who had ruthlessly knocked them out truly was. Kagome guided him towards the table where her family awaited, dispelling the intrusive thoughts away.

“Sorry we’re late!” She sat down and so did InuYasha, taking the free spot by her side. “We got caught up in traffic.”

“That’s alright, honey.” Mrs. Higurashi reassured with a tone as sweet as her smile. “I’m just glad you’re here now. We’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. So much!” She replied, drinking each component of her family in, as if to carve their features into her memory so she might have something to hold onto until they met again. After a brief pause, Kagome kicked off the introductions. “Everyone, this is InuYasha. InuYasha, this is my family.”

Her grandfather was a perfect materialization of the pictures InuYasha had seen, with his wrinkled skin, grey hair and stoic expression. Her mother, too, matched up his expectations. The woman portrayed an effortless type of beauty, all dimples and heart-shaped face framed by wavy, short brown hair.

It was Sota who surprised him the most.

From Kagome’s descriptions, InuYasha was under the impression the boy would be way smaller than he actually was — although he was small, considering he was still a child. The half demon couldn’t decide if Kagome was oblivious to Sota’s growth due to her crazy student schedule or if it was her big sister bias that affected her judgement, but it was clear that Sota was gonna be taller than her in the near future. The boy also looked very clever for his age — even to someone in InuYasha’s case, who knew little to nothing about kids — and stared at him with something suspiciously close to expectancy.

InuYasha cleared his throat.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“The reciprocal is hardly true.” Whipped a dissonant baritone, so rigid it cut the air. “I haven’t heard much of you, that’s for sure and certain.”

There was no naivety left on InuYasha to believe the lack of reciprocity the man mentioned had anything to do with whether Kagome had told them detailed stories about her new boyfriend or not.

Apparently, Mrs. Higurashi had picked up on how shallow his last sentence sounded as well, because she was quick to swoop in and smooth things over.

“You were, indeed, a mystery, InuYasha.”

“I told you why.” Intervened Kagome, in an apologizing tone. “We were still figuring things out.”

“Well, if you two are done with figuring things out, can we please eat?” Sota retorted. InuYasha had no complaints there. Unfortunately, the elderly man interrupted them with the unapologetic conviction of someone who wasn’t aware a conversation was being had, or that simply didn’t care.

“Are you a Yakuza member?”

It didn’t go unnoticed by the hanyou that the man had addressed him twice without calling his name once. Nonetheless, the question was absolutely directed to InuYasha. Even if the word ‘Yakuza’ wasn’t instantly associated with the tattoos he carried, there were other indications. The abrupt silence that followed, one step away from a cliff of awkwardness, for instance. Or the hawk eyes of Kagome’s grandfather, studying his every move.

Luckly, he had warned his girlfriend in advance something like that could happen. More often than not, it did. To the point where he was used to it. And as much as she didn’t like it, he resolved to brush it off, at least for the night.

“Because of the tattoos?” He asked, playing dumb. “I get that a lot, but no. I just think they’re cool.” InuYasha shrugged, then felt the uncontrollable need to over explain himself: “The tattoos, I mean. Not the mafia.”

That earned him a laugh from Sota and a chuckle from Mrs. Higurashi. Kagome and her grandfather didn’t find it so funny.

“Grandpa, tattoos are very common thing all around the world! Don’t you think if everyone who had one was a Yakuza member, we’d be in serious trouble by now?” InuYasha observed her spit the acid comeback, thrown off to see their parts inverted. Usually, he was the one starting fires left and right and she was the placid source of water that always put them down. Again, the man ignored it.

“Then what do you do for a living?”

InuYasha almost smirked. That was precisely the sort of cliche interrogatory he was expecting — no, that he was wishing. After walking on so many eggshells, they were finally entering known territory and, as he felt the firm path of a parents pleaser answer forming under his feet, his confidence boosted.

“I’m majoring in business administration. My father wants my brother and I to learn as much as we can, if we’re gonna run the family company someday.”

It was extremely satisfying to watch the guy trying and failing to come up with any judgemental thing to say. His mouth sealed into a thin line.

“But what InuYasha really wants is to be a boxer.”

His head snapped to Kagome, astonished that she would turn him in there and then. The girl was not kidding when she demanded him to be himself.

“No way!” Sota exclaimed the words in the precise way his sister did when she was excited.

“Isn’t this dangerous, dear?” Mrs. Higurashi was genuine concerned. Her cinnamon irises studied him carefully, as if already searching for wounds. It reminded him of his own mother.

“Actually, InuYasha is undefeated.” Kagome replied for him, not bothering to hide the pride tone in her voice. 

So it’s chill when you brag about it, but when I do, I’m a cocky jerk. He amused, simultaneously deciding it sounded better when she did, anyway.

“Awesome! How come I have never seen you fight on TV?”

At Sota’s crescent interest, InuYasha answered in a bursting of atypical modesty.

“I didn’t get there just yet.”

“I’m sure it’s a matter of time.” Encouraged Mrs. Higurashi. Kagome’s grandfather scoffed. “I must ask you, though: how did you two met?”

“My sister isn’t the most athletic of girls.” Agreed Sota.

“I can’t believe I missed you.” The girl fired back.

“That’s true. But I can tell you first hand that she’s got a mean right hook.”

Her brother was thrilled. Her mom, not so much.

“She punched you?”

“Oh, my.”

“No! I gave her a couple of self defense classes, that’s all.” InuYasha hurried to explain.

“Oh!” Mrs. Higurashi seemed visibly relieved her daughter didn’t walk around purposefully breaking the criminal code. “Well, in that case I really appreciate it. Thank you, dear.”

“So that’s how you met? Self defense classes?”

“Not quite.”

The self defense classes came way later, in what InuYasha labeled as the ‘denial’ phase.

It started on a random night. They were arguing over something stupid, for a change. Things escalated rather fast and, against his better judgement, they had angry sex on her couch. He hadn’t thought much of it back them, telling himself they were just blowing off steam, that it wouldn’t happen again.

Only it did.

Over and over.

It was useless to fight it. No way to escape it. After a while, InuYasha had stopped trying and accepted the fact that every road lead him back to her bed. What he couldn’t, wouldn’t, refused to acknowledge, however, was that somewhere along the way, an invisible line was crossed and, as animosity gave space to awkward cordiality and awkward cordiality gave space to unlikely fondness, Kagome became much more than a mind-blowing fuck, even if at first he was too stubborn to say so.

And so, InuYasha came up with socially acceptable excuses to spend more time with her without it coming off as a big deal, hence the self defense classes. They were perfect for them, once it was something he mastered and it involved lots of physical contact. Besides, the half demon slept better at night, knowing Kagome could throw a proper punch at anyone who got too handsy. It wasn’t part of the ordinary self defense program, but then again, she was no ordinary girl. Although her spiritual powers assured no youkai would lay a finger on her, the priestess was on her own in terms of human threats. What InuYasha did was making sure that was enough.

They’ve been inseparable ever since.

“We’ve met through Miroku long before that.” Kagome clarified, conveniently leaving the petty behavior and childish arguments they had that first day out of it. “InuYasha is his roommate. Also, Sango has been friends with him since he was ten.”

“Oh!” The table nodded in understanding, working the math for themselves. It wasn’t a difficult calculation to make.

Miroku was a close friend of her family. Quite literally, given they were neighbors for as long as the bastard could remember. His family was spiritually gifted like no other and took to themselves the responsibility to help little Kagome Higurashi to improve her abilities to the fullest. As a result, they grew up together. People often confused them for siblings and at heart, they were.

InuYasha met the nuisance of a friend several years later, when both of them entered college. Graduation certainly wasn’t his biggest goal in life. Far from it. It was more like a boring thing he had to do in order to conquer his deserved space in the real world. Regardless, the half demon was eager to enjoy his first shot at independency.

He found a great place right outside campus, but the extent of time he could afford it without resorting to his folk’s pockets was limited. Doing all of the domestic chores by himself wasn’t appealing, either. He needed a roommate.

A river of candidates flooded his inbox — it was truly a fantastic deal — Miroku stood out for being the only human to reply to his advertisement. Curious, InuYasha booked an interview. The man was clearly a womanizer, appreciated a good booze and was the farthest thing from what he claimed his family to be. Or from what InuYasha looked for in a friend.

And yet, to his total bewilderment, they hit it off right away.

How was he supposed to know Miroku would fall for Sango?

His best friend Sango. 

The same Sango who helped him to train under the correct and outraging pretext that she had always been faster, that his defense was pathetic and that she would hate to see him get his ass kicked.

Gorgeous, confident, heart of gold Sango…

Yes, standing back from it now, InuYasha was a fool for not seeing it coming, since that was the obvious part.

The not so obvious one was that the two lovebirds would engage into a very loving, very serious relationship and that when Sango’s turn came to move out for college, Miroku would suggest an old friend to fill the vacant roommate position in her new apartment. A freshman as well, named Kagome.

And so InuYasha’s undoing began.

An unplanned dinner with mutual friends was hardly the most remarkable way to meet someone, but whenever InuYasha thought about the exquisite series of coincidences, about all of the incidents bound to happen in order to put them face to face in that distant autumn night… Well, he couldn’t shake the feeling it was meant to be, even if he had never had much faith in destiny, soulmates or any of that corny crap, there was no denying that suddenly every love song started making sense.

Flash forward and Miroku switched places with Kagome to better attend the living situation for the four of them. And that was that.

“What a… Delightful turn of events.” The venomous remark of the Higurashi patriarch brought the hanyou back to the present. This polite facade was what bothered him the most and InuYasha wanted the man, just for once, to say what he actually meant to say.

“Isn’t it?” Said Kagome, her enthusiasm palpable. If the girl had noticed the sarcasm hidden in that comment — and InuYasha was willing to bet so —, she made a point to disdain it, landing one hand on his knee, a discreet act of support.

Her grandfather clenched his jaw.

“InuYasha, you mentioned your family owns a company.” Mrs. Higurashi changed the subject unapologetically. “Any chances we have heard of it?”

He clung to the distraction like it was a life jacket.

“Probably, yeah! Taisho Inc.?”

“As in Toga Taisho?” Sota asked, his chin dropping. “Toga Taisho is your dad?” 

“And Izayoi is his mom.” Kagome added, fixing a knowing gaze on her own mother, whose bewilderment now mirrored her son’s.

“The Izayoi?”

“The one and only.” The hanyou nodded, accustomed to the heated reactions his distinguished bloodline got him. For better or for worse.

“Oh, her brand is fantastic! I read somewhere every clothing collection is environment friendly. And they’re so affordable, too!”

“Mom, you’re jabbering.” Interjected Sota.

“Sorry.” She said. More to be polite than anything else. “I’m a huge fan of her work!”

“So I’ve been told.” InuYasha glanced at Kagome, who stared at him right back. It was all it took, and he would be able to draw a meticulous picture of what she was thinking: both their mothers, chatting and enjoying a cold cup of tea under the setting sun like long date friends. Knowing his mom — and now Mrs. Higurashi — that was quite a possible scene.

“I’m sure the two of you will meet at some point.” Proclaimed Kagome. “Anyway… You won’t believe who InuYasha and I bumped into when we arrived—”

“Miss Kaede.” Sota and Mrs. Higurashi simultaneously answered, and at Kagome’s questioning expression, the boy shrugged. “She saw when we got here and came to say hi.”

They ordered minutes after.

The meal was hot and tasty, one of the best InuYasha had ever had. It helped that having dinner with her family, as it turned out, had been an overall pleasant experience. Light. Breezy. Sota and Mrs Higurashi did a wonderful job at keeping him comfortable. InuYasha would go as far as saying they had liked him, and for that he was insanely grateful.

Kagome’s grandfather, however, was a whole other story. The guy despised him and didn’t lift a finger to cover it, but he had spent the rest of the night relatively quiet about it, so InuYasha labeled it as progress.

He had offered them a ride home and they had accepted, just like Kagome said they would. It was funny, the speed in which he grew accustomed to their dynamics. Kagome and her brother mindless bickering, their mother pretending exasperation while secretly pleased, the drive filled with childhood tales and life updates, a innocent joke every now and then. It was decidedly something InuYasha could be a part of.

Their property was a rustic piece of land inserted between one urban construction and the next, refusing to be touched by modern convenience. Kagome’s enchantment for the place was justified. Growing up in there couldn’t have been anything less than magical.

“It’s not much,” Mrs. Higurashi apologized, “but it’s home.” She opened the door and turned on the light.

The house seemed bigger on the inside. Not fancy big. Cozy big. On every wall, past and future merged themselves in harmony. The decoration, simple and of good taste, spoke anecdotes of the merry family living there.

As they entered the living room, a movement alarmed his senses, and in a quick motion InuYasha dove in just in time to grab the falling ornamental vase before it hit the ground. The responsible for the almost disaster meowed and jumped off the glass shelf, making a point of stepping on InuYasha with indifference to then greet the others.

“You must be Buyo.”

“Nice catch!” Congratulated Sota.

“Oh, my! Thank you, InuYasha. This vase is very dear to me.” He handed her the adornment, which was immediately restored the its rightful spot. “Kagome, why don’t you show your boyfriend around?”

Obediently, her daughter let go of the purring cat and played the role of guide, giving him a comprehensive tour through her former home. Truth to her word, she saved the best for last.

“Before we get in, I want you to remember I was young and didn’t know any better.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” He established, gesturing for her to rush and turn the knob.

Her bedroom was a gleeful explosion of pink and purple. From the roof to the floor, most of the surfaces were bathed in different shades of the combination. Sheets. Teddy bears. Carpet. Alarm clock. Curtains. Posters that could now pass for vintage. InuYasha was impressed. Despite all reason, the aesthetic actually worked.

He barked a laugh.

“What did you have against the other colors?”

“Shut up, I was five!”

InuYasha ignored her in favor of snooping around. Objects that dared not to stick with the pink or purple agenda were inevitably highlighted by it. He went after those first.

“So many CDs!” InuYasha contemplated, inspecting her collection attentively. Music was a passion they shared. Even though she was a pop kind of girl and he fell more into the rock line, they had been able to find common ground, eventually. Like Rihanna. Or The Beatles. “Are you kidding me?”

Kagome acknowledged his raised brows and the copy of a NSYNC album he was holding with a giggle.

“I stand by it.”

Books also filled the room. For starts, there was the Biology ones, piled up on her writing desk in a greater amount than what could be considered healthy — and more worn out than the math editions. On the main bookcase, he ran his claws through the good stuff. Jane Austen. J.K. Rowling. Stephen King. He wasn’t much of a reader, himself. His relationship with literature came down to the bedtime stories her mom lulled him to sleep with and A Song of Ice and Fire, which Kagome was currently reading because of him, albeit they had binged Game Of Thrones together.

Among her personal, reduced library, there was one book that gave the impression not to belong. It was larger, made of aged, tawny leather and no inscription was printed on the spine. Curious, InuYasha pulled it out, discovering the item to be a photo album. He pointed to its cover. 

“Can I?”

“Knock yourself out.”

She paid no attention to him as he sat on her bed and cautiously flipped through the pages, too lost in her own nostalgia.

The compilation began at a hospital room. A younger Mrs. Higurashi exhibited a teary smile to the chubby newborn nestled against her chest, the arms of an equally jubilant man involved them in a hug. Mr. Higurashi had elongated traits that narrowed his chin and pronounced nose in a gentle manner, like time had purposefully left his boyish attributes untouched. He resembled Sota. In everything except his wavy, dark hair. InuYasha grinned. Kagome had her father’s hair.

The photograph below showed three pair of legs, lazily lying on white sheets. A woman, a man and between them a baby, the size difference contributing to make the latter even cuter. Next to that, a picture of baby Kagome old enough to sit up, dressing onesie pajamas and chewing on a pacifier. Her grandfather appeared every now and then, feeding her porridge, kissing her tiny palm, exasperated at the paint mess she had done on the hall.

InuYasha watched her grow up the deeper he advanced. From crawling to standing behind Mrs. Higurashi, wrapping her little arms around the long skirt of her mother as she did the dishes. From that, to climbing onto a chair to help her father with the baking, covered in flour in front of the kitchen table while he proudly cleaned her up. Picnics. Beach trips. Birthdays. Every milestone was documented. After her first day at school — a big red ribbon on her hair —, new characters came to scene. Miroku, by her side on the backyard, one of his teeth missing and autumn leaves sticking to the two of them everywhere, twin wide smiles on their lips. Buyo, only a kitten napping on her lap as they sat on a tyre swing. She was wearing a beautiful dress and sneakers, her feet inches away from the ground.

There was a significant passage of time when InuYasha turned to another page. He knew it because, abruptly, Sota was there too, even though Mrs. Higurashi had been pregnant just a few images ago. The subtitle read Kagome, giving her baby brother a bath. In reality, she had used shampoo to pin all of his hair up. Her growth was perceptible as well.

There were no pictures of Mr. Higurashi anymore.

Instead, Sota, Miroku and some other friends conquered a little more of space, as Kagome got closer and closer to become the woman InuYasha came to know. The final picture was of her high school gang. Ayumi, Eri, Yuka.

And Hojo.

She had dated him back then and they were friends to this day. Naturally. Because Kagome was fundamentally a good person. And the fucker was unabashedly still into her.

The worst thing was, he couldn’t even bring himself to resent the guy. As a matter of fact, the hanyou pitied him. If InuYasha was in his shoes, he doubt he could ever move on from Kagome. Be that as it may, he much would have preferred they had held a grudge, blocked each other on social media and called it quits. Like normal people did.

Kagome was staring out the window by the time InuYasha shut the album and returned it to its shelf. He let his face fall into the curve of her shoulder — a flawless fit — in the process of embracing her waist. She leaned her head to him, her fingertips caressing his forearms.

Out of respect, they had left the door open, but it was just for show. His keen senses ensured they could get away with innocent displays of affection without having to worry about unexpected interruptions.

“What are we lookin’ at?”

“The Goshinboku.” The view of her bedroom was composed by a stunning garden, a mighty tree standing tall in the center of it. “When I was a little girl, there was a tyre swing attached to it. My dad built it for me. And grandpa almost had a heart attack because the tree is supposed to be sacred.”

The fresh memory came rushing back, of a lovely girl, her sleeping cat and a tyre swing.

“He sounds like a good man.” InuYasha let it out, mentally kicking himself at the same time. Don’t bring up her father, remembered his inner voice, a second too late. Damn it, he thought, I was doing so well. But they were alone. And Kagome was the one to raise the subject.

“The best.” She agreed, the longing painfully distinguishable in her timbre. “The colors are his fault, actually. He let me pick them and insisted I’d help him painting, saying it was my room and therefore I should be an active part of its making in order to truly look my own. I felt like such a grown up, with that brush in my hand! It wasn’t until years later I realized he had done most of the heavy work, of course. My enthusiasm about the colors decreased with time, I gotta admit. But I never wanted to change it, because whenever I see them, I’m taken back to that day.”

InuYasha was at a loss for words.

In one night, Kagome had shared more about her father than she had in their entire relationship, the topic always a delicate one.

To measure her pain, he tried to imagine what would be like. His life without Toga Taisho in every step of the way, with his goofy jokes and thunderous laughter, teaching him how to shave, talking about girls, buying him his first pair of boxing gloves. Cheering him on. Most fathers wouldn’t be as supportive of his career choice. Especially when it meant stepping down from the family empire.

Unthinkable.

InuYasha couldn’t even began to understand.

Unexpectedly, he was assaulted by the crushing need to hug his old man.

“He’d be proud of ya. You know that, right?”

“I do.” Kagome sighed. She was at the verge of crying, he could tell. “I wish he had met you.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

“So...” Kagome bravely pushed her sorrow underneath, recovering the cheerful temper that was so typical of her. “Did you find anything good in that photo album?”

“Oh, yeah!” InuYasha nodded, taking her unsaid ask for distraction for what it was. “Miroku won’t hear the end of it.” She laughed and he relaxed at the sound. “Come on, let’s go downstairs. Your grandfather is getting distraught.”

“How did you do that?” Sota watched the TV screen in awe as their characters fought. InuYasha had just released a powerful blow, inflecting several damage on his opponent.

“Left-Right-B-B.”

Sota pressed the combination and as soon as he did, his character recreated the attack, hitting InuYasha back full force. The kid learned fast.

“Sweet! You gotta teach me more of this stuff! Can I come over to your place sometime?”

“Sure!” He answered, in autopilot. Kagome quietly pinched him in the tigh and the half demon realized his mistake. Don’t mention we live together. What an idiot he was. InuYasha wouldn’t have to mention anything if her brother saw it with his own eyes. “I-I mean, if that’s cool with your mom. It ain’t a quick drive.”

“For real?!”

“Yeah, just… Text me first.”

“You got it!”

InuYasha shrugged apologetically to his frustrated girlfriend. It was the best he could do.

“Kagome?” Mrs. Higurashi swiftly called from the kitchen. “Can you help me with the desserts, please?”

“Coming!”

Involuntarily, his ears twitched to follow her trail of noises. Steps. Crockery getting handled. Whispers.

“Alright: your honest opinion. Go!”

“Oh, I think your opinion is the one that counts.”

“It’s the one that counts the most. It’s not the only one that counts.”

“In that case, I must say you make a lovely couple. InuYasha caused an excellent impression on me. The way he looks at you… Your father used to look at me just like that.”

“Mama!”

There was a pause.

Out of habit, InuYasha kept hitting the right buttons, but his interest was far away from the game.

“Now, what else are you wanting to tell me?”

“How did you know?”

“A mother always does. What is it?”

“InuYasha and I… We’re living together.”

“I had my suspicions.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Are you happy?”

“The happiest.”

“Well, then. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Thank you! I love you so much!”

“I love you too, honey. But it might be wise not to let your grandfather know for now.”

“I figured as much.”

“One more thing.”

“Shoot!”

“Are the two of you using protection?”

“Mom!”

“What? It’s a fair concern.”

InuYasha had darkened multiple shades of embarrassment, all of them red. Sota took advantage of his temporary stupefied state to deliver the final blast, settling their score.

“Yes!”

“I totally let you win.”

“You wish!”

The two women walked into the room, dessert glasses on their hands. Sota accepted the one his mother offered him while Kagome sat on her previous spot by InuYasha.

“This candy is a family recipe.” Mrs. Higurashi explained. “It’s also the reason why we didn’t order a dessert at the restaurant.”

InuYasha hadn’t complained. In terms of food, sugary snacks were hardly his favorites. He opened his mouth, planning to decline the treat in way that wasn’t too rude, but his girlfriend beat him to the punch and sticked a spoon full of the stuff inside his mouth. The flavor outburst on his tongue was unprecedented, caramel being the base of it. The kickoff was undeniably sweet, pursued by a salty ending that assured a refined balance.

“Holy f… ork.” Don’t swear. At least this time he managed to caught himself before the failure.

“I’m glad you liked it.” Said Mrs. Higurashi, as InuYasha grabbed his portion from Kagome’s grasp and ate the whole thing in eager spoonfuls.

“How come you never made me one of those?” He threw Kagome an accusatory glance.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t think our relationship is that solid yet.”

InuYasha was formulating a sly remark when he heard her grandfather struggling to carry a heavy wood box.

“Sir, wanna some help?” He volunteered, already jumping to the rescue.

“I’m old, not invalid.”

“It wasn’t my intention to suges—”

“Grandpa, please don’t be dramatic.” Intervened Kagome. “We don’t want a broken hip, do we?”

Grudgingly, the elder turned his burden over to InuYasha, who followed him out into the storehouse. He was serenaded by the crickets and the constant instructions of the wrinkle bag, urging him to be careful.

“Where do you want this, sir?”

“There.” He pointed to the left corner of the room and InuYasha accomplished the task without breaking a sweat. Or a priceless relic. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” The temptation to spin on his heels and exit the building was tremendous. For Kagome, though, he had to make an effort. “I guess is safe to say you don’t like me or my tattoos very much. That’s alright, I get it. You just met me. But I promise you, sir, I would never, ever, do anything to hurt your granddaughter. I’m a hundred percent committed to Kagome. In fact…” InuYasha fished the ring off his back pocket and presented it to him. “I intend to propose to her in a near future. You don’t have to answer right now, just know it would mean a lot to her… To us, if you could give us your blessing.”

The man glared at the ring as if it was a viper ready to strike.

“I wasn’t aware this relationship of yours was that serious.”

“Well… It kinda is. I… I love her.”

InuYasha felt naked, so very naked, under the somber gaze of that man. However true his words were, he wasn’t the type to pour his heart out, let alone to someone he had met for less than the duration of a night. Vulnerability was something to be avoided. Let your guard open, you get knocked down. A lifetime of boxing will teach you that. Still, Kagome was worth way more than his stupid pride. 

“I see. In that case, you must end it at once.”

“What?”

“I held my peace because I was convinced, the moment my granddaughter introduced you as her boyfriend, that this was bound to break. Do not take it personally. I can’t possibly be the first one to point it out and chances are I won’t be the last. You are far from the man I imagined her future husband to be. Yet here you are, speaking of marriage. It is up to me, then, to open your eyes and remind you the implications of it.”

“The implications of it.” The hanyou half repeated, half questioned. The superior tone in which the man expressed himself was enerving and the fact InuYasha had no idea of where he was trying to get only worsened the tension.

“Your mother is human, is she not?” All of the pieces fell into place right then. He would rather they hadn’t.

“Yes, she is.”

“Then you better than anyone must know of the hardships she had to endure as a result of her lifestyle.” 

InuYasha was numb. Completely anesthetized. It was to be expected his stupor would soft the pain of the bad memories. It didn’t.

Romeo and Juliet got nothing on his parents. His mom had told him the story time and time again. They had met each other on a tropical storm. Her car died and of course he was there to help. She kept his coat. He kept her phone number on a piece of paper that accidentally was ruined by the rain. When their paths crossed again, he was a divorced father and she was engaged. They managed to get it right anyway. Timing was a comical thing. It never worked with rationality.

Both families were against it. Strongly against it. His mother was no longer welcomed in the house. They had burned to the ground any evidence she once belonged to that place. The only thing she took with her was the ring of her deceased mother that InuYasha now held inside his clenched fist. She wasn’t allowed in the Taisho mansion either, but it just meant his father wouldn’t set foot feet there as well.

There were grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins InuYasha didn’t have the chance to met. Because they didn’t want to. Other than from Sesshoumaru and his mom, that was it for him in the family section.

He used to resent it. When he caught a homesick Izayoi crying. When his father yelled at the management of some restaurant about their anti-human politics. When she was denied entrance because InuYasha was in her arms. When the family tree of the other kids in school was so much more complex than his. Fortunately, he came to terms with it. Family had little to do with blood.

“It wasn’t her fault and it wasn’t your father’s, either.” InuYasha heard him go on. “Regardless, this is the way things are. The way things have always been. And pretending otherwise is to believe in fairytales. You can not blame me for wishing a better fate upon Kagome.”

“Kagome is happy. I know she is!”

“For now. What would be of this so called happiness in the long run? Keep in mind Kagome is a priestess. What if this union causes her to lose her spiritual powers? Even if she doesn’t, a child born out of it would carry demon genes. It can not be avoided. It can affect their reiki greatly.”

“W-we haven’t talk—”

Kids. The subject was never discussed between them. It was not a secret Kagome wanted to have children. She should have children. Motherhood suited her. InuYasha, on the other hand, didn’t give the topic a lot of thought. He just accepted that, taking in consideration the lengths he was willing to go to make her happy, babies weren’t even that bad.

Now, his treacherous brain was plaguing him with the forbidden images. Another aged, tawny leather photo album, theirs to fulfill with pictures of a raven haired, golden eyed toddler. Kagome, pregnant with his child. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t bad at all.

“Listen close, boy. I take no pride in that, but when cancer took my son away… It tore this home apart. Kagome? She was the one to put it back together. It was an unfair burden, for someone so young to take. And it meant countless sacrifices from her part. My granddaughter had to grow up too fast too soon. She deserves the luck of an ease love. You seem like a decent man, tattoos aside. That is why, if you love Kagome the way you claim to do, you will let her go.”

“InuYasha!”

“Huh?”

“I’m talking to you!”

“I’m driving!” Even to himself, the excuse sounded weak. For fear Kagome would pick up on his bullshit, he opted for diplomacy. “Can you repeat what it was?”

“My family! Did you like them?”

“Yeah, they’re great.”

She could sniff it out his lies from miles away, one of her many infuriating talents. It was a good thing InuYasha wasn’t lying, then. Her mom and brother had won him over without even trying. Her grandfather was difficult, to say the least. But ultimately, he only had Kagome’s best interests at heart. How could InuYasha not hold someone like that in deep appreciation? They shared the same priorities, after all.

“I’m glad.” Kagome sticked a palm out of the window, to cut the chill night air. Not even that diverted his concentration from the road ahead, hands sweating at the tigh grip on the steering wheel. They let the silence set, until her profound exhale disturbed it. “Do you miss your motorbike?”

Before Kagome, a classic black Harley used to be the love of his life. He had saved every penny he ever gotten in order to get it. It was the first significant thing he had ever bought with his own money. Sadly, the maintenance was pretty expensive and by the time they started going on double dates with Miroku and Sango or Koga and Ayame, an average car proved to be the obvious, more practical choice. It had its advantages. Convenience. Economy. Illegal activities on the backseat. His mother was radiant, too. She had somehow convinced herself owning a motorcycle was a creative way of signing his own death certificate.

He didn’t regret it.

But he couldn’t chase the wind in a car. Kagome wouldn’t hold him for dear life in a car.

“Sometimes.”

“Me too. Maybe we can afford to buy it back, someday.” His stomach sank. There would be no ‘someday’. Not for them. “InuYasha?”

“Maybe.”

He turned the radio on and neither of them talked the whole way home.

Water was pouring down, warm and nice against his skin. InuYasha stood under the shower far more than the necessary. His hope was that if he stalled long enough, Kagome would be sleeping by the time he left the bathroom. It was an act of pure cowardice, but it was for the best. If she was awake, he would be tempted to take her one last time, and what kind of monster he’d be by the morning, when they would have to say goodbye?

Kagome was sitting on their bed, waiting for him with his AC/DC shirt on. InuYasha should have anticipated she wouldn’t be entirely oblivious to his internal turmoil. He hadn’t done the neatest job hiding it and she knew him like no one else.

“Alright, what is wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Just who do you think you’re kidding?”

“Can we please do this tomorrow?”

“No! You’ve been acting strange since we left. I tried to give you space, but I won’t be able to sleep unless you put my mind at ease.”

From all the scenarios he had ran on his head of how this conversation would go, this was without a doubt the worst one. He didn’t want to end their relationship in the middle of the night, dressed only on his sweatpants, risking her to storm off that late. He owed Kagome more than that. Massaging his temple, InuYasha realized his hands were tied. She wouldn’t let it die. He sat by her side and ripped off the band-aid.

“We should break up.”

Her reaction to the news was a mystery InuYasha wasn’t dying to find out. She could cry, she used to do it for less and his ego would appreciate it. She could scream at him, it was totally understandable. She could slap his face, he probably deserved it. She could leave. He wouldn’t blame her.

“No.” Plain and simple.

Whatever he expected her to do, that wasn’t it.

“No?”

“That’s right.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“Exactly what I said.”

“We’re breaking up!”

“No, we’re not. Are you in love with someone else?”

“Well... No.”

“Have you stopped loving me?”

“That’s… That’s not the issue.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m bad for you, Kagome! Can’t you see that?” His ferocity made her quiver and cursing himself, InuYasha counted two heavy breaths to try and tone it down. “Can’t you see everything you’ll miss out just to be by my side? I can’t do that to you. I won’t. What we have… It can be easy here, but in the real world...”

“Did my grandfather put you up to this?”

His startle gave him away. It was pointless to deny.

“He only said what we already knew and were too stubborn to accept.”

“How dare he?!”

“He’s right, y’know? This is the best thing for you.”

“How dare you?” She poked his naked chest, her fury unleashed like InuYasha hadn’t seen in a while. “Who are you to make this decision for me?”

“I’m someone who saw his mother be casted out and humiliated on a daily basis over it!”

“Have you ever asked her if she would do it again? Because I’m pretty sure I know the answer. And mine is the same.”

“What about children? You wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not they would inherit your spiritual powers if you had ‘em with a human.”

“I don’t care about the stupid bloodline tradition! It’s not like demons and humans are at war anymore. Any child we might have will be loved, powers or not powers. I refuse to let outdated morals dictate how I live my life, I refuse to let them get in the way of my happiness. And I can’t believe after everything we’ve been through you would give up of me that easy.”

“Easy?” InuYasha hissed. Kagome didn’t back down one bit at his rompant. “You think this is easy for me? This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and if it’s possible you’re making it even harder. For once in my life I’m being selfless. For once in my life I’m putting someone else first. Because I fucking love you!”

Finally, finally, her lips crushed into his. It was a long time coming, as if every single event since he had seen her in that blue dress earlier were building up to that moment. He welcomed her touch like was second nature, greedly pulling her close to devour her lips. The taste of mint toothpaste flooded his senses and suddenly the whole universe shrunk to the shape her mouth. Her slow hands went from his cheeks to his wet hair, tangling on the messy strands and inducing the nape ones to rise up.

Only then InuYasha understood.

He was fooling himself.

Selfish. His love for her always was and always would be selfish. He could try to stay away, he could try to shut her out. In the end of the day, all she had to do was snap her fingers and he would be running to her. There was no escaping it. She wanted him, he was hers.

Little by little, InuYasha broke the kiss, their foreheads still connected as their hearts restored their normal pace.

“I don’t want to make things difficult between you and your family.”

“I’m sorry about tonight, InuYasha. I was so excited with the idea of you and my family getting along, I forgot to be more careful and pushed it too far with grandpa. Let’s give it time, okay? He’ll come around. If he doesn’t, you are not the one making things difficult. He is. People tend to be afraid of what they don’t know. It doesn’t matter. It’s not theirs to know, it’s ours. And we shouldn’t allow their opinions to interfere. No prejudiced beliefs can take me from your side. As long as you want me, there are no deal breakers. So what do you truly want?”

“What I truly want…” He got up and went to their wardrobe, reaching the depths of the drawer where he kept his jeans for the hidden ring. He found it and fell into one knee in front of her. “It’s to spend the rest of my life with you.” She gasped, hands flying to cover her mouth as her eyes overflowed. “This might be crazy soon, but it has also been a crazy night. Kagome, will you—”

“Yes!”

She knocked him down in a hug that turned into another kiss, tender than the prior. They had time to pleasantries now. They had all the time in the world. InuYasha wanted to laugh at the expense of his unplanned rebellion. There he was, making the exact opposite thing her grandfather had ordered him to do. And he was still a bit unaware as to how.

“Will ya let me put this thing on your finger or what?” He questioned when she pulled away.

“In one condition.”

“Which one?”

“Don’t you ever break up with me again.”

“It won’t be a problem.”

A/N: this is for the brilliant @dyaz-stories​ who requested “The stakes are high. Tthe water's rough. But this love is ours” + “And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored. Cause my heart is yours” for the lyric game.

I hope you don’t mind the “my father” to “my grandfather”change, but I thought it was more fitting, given the circumstances. Sorry I made you the bad guy, grandpa, but someone had to be! Also, I know the lyrics say that the snide remarks about the tattoos would be ignored, but no matter how hard I tried to stand by it, Kagome refused to be silenced.

About the tattoos: I’ve read somewhere cherry blossoms mean female beauty, love, happiness, renovation and hope. They symbolize the end of winter and beginning of spring… which is pretty much everything Kagome represents to InuYasha.

That being said, happy Inukag Week! Yes, I do celebrate it as if it was a hollyday. No, I do not think I’m obsessed. I like this couple a normal amount. And this fanfic just happens to fit the prompt “acceptance” from day one, so here you go @inukag-week​

[coinsoup]

Do You Believe The Magic 8 Ball? I do

the keefitz fic... finally 

tw: minor injury and blood 

 Keefe glanced over at Fitz who was lying on his bed still attempting to complete the star map Keefe had finished ages ago. Keefe sighed heavily, pulling himself up from his spot at the foot of Fitz’s bed. He wandered over to a bookshelf in the corner of Fitz’s room. Gnomish culture and tradition was the first title Keefe saw. “Nerd,” Keef muttered, a fond smile creeping onto his lips.

 There weren’t just informational books on the shelf though, Fitz seemed to keep most of his little knick-knacks on the shelf too. Keefe smiled softly when he noticed one of his drawings was framed. It was one of his first ones too, so it wasn’t exactly a masterpiece. 

 Keefe picked up a strange black sphere. He brought it closer to his eyes, shaking it slightly when red words appeared in a small circle. The letters were written in a language he couldn’t understand which was weird.

 “Hey, Roy,” Fitz startled slightly, smearing the ink.

 “Keefe, this better be important,” Fitz said, glaring at his ink-stained hand.

 “What’s this?” Keefe managed to get out without bursting into a fit of laughter.

 Fitz looked up then, letting out an indignant huff at Keefe’s slightly mocking smile. Fitz’s gaze finally landed on the weird ball in his hand. Fitz looked as if he was racking his brain for a way to explain it, which quite frankly Keefe didn’t like. 

 “It’s called a magic 8 ball,” Fitz decided on, “It’s basically a fortune teller” Keefe gave him an unimpressed look. “It’s supposed to predict the future, or tell you the truth about something.”

 “Yeah, sure,” Keefe scoffed, “Where’d you get this from anyways?”

 “Father brought it back from the forbidden cities for me” Keefe winced at the word father and made a mental note to rant about his dad later so Fitz could vent.

 Keefe considered the object for a moment wondering if a human object could really do that, it wasn’t like the elves could so it’s not like the humans could either, right? Then Keefe had an idea, now let’s be clear most of Keefe’s ideas ended in disaster.

 “Is Fitzy in love with me?” Keefe asked aloud, shaking the 8ball. Most definitely it read, Keefe gave Fitz a smirk who was watching him curiously. Keefe tossed the ball to Fitz who caught it easily.

 “I mean you knew it wouldn’t work right?” Fitz asked. Huh, Keefe thought, he wasn’t even flustered. He had just denied it with no shadow of doubt in his voice. 

 Keefe was pretty damn sure that his feelings were mutual, but this, well, was unexpected, to say the least. There’s no way he could be that oblivious right?? And thus Keefe’s plan began.

 Keefe needed help for the last stage, so logically he asked his best friend’s older brother. So here Keefe was standing at the edge of the Ravagog braiding long grass blades as he waited for Alvar. Just when he was finishing his second braid he heard footsteps behind him. 

 “Hey kiddo, it’s been a while.” 

 “Alvar?” He was standing a few feet away looking as cheerful as ever, albeit a little tired. Keefe sat up quickly, then stood a little awkwardly unsure if a hug would be too much. Alvar just laughed softly hooking his arm over Keefe’s shoulder as they walked down the path.

 “It’s not that I don’t love seeing you, but what was so important it couldn’t wait till the end of the month?”

 “Well, about that” Keefe began, “I need your help with something.”

 “Okaaaay” Alvar drawled, “and could that something involve a little mischief,” playfully squeezing Keefe’s shoulder where his hand rested on it.

 “I mean I guess you could call it that, I need help with your dumbass little brother,” Alvar was just looking at Keefe, so he took that as a sign to continue, “I need you to lock us in a closet.”

 Alvar continued to stare for a second before he keeled over in a fit of laughter. Keefe felt heat rush to his cheeks as Alvar finally calmed down enough to look him in the eyes, doubling over once again

 “So you finally got your shit together huh? Or wait let me guess he’s still hopelessly oblivious and it’s not funny anymore.” 

 “Take a wild guess.”

 “I mean I guess it runs in the family,” Alvar said and his smile looked almost sad. 

 “Anyways,” Alvar said, clearing his throat, “basically you want me to be your wingman.” 

 “... well, when you put it that way-”

 “What do I get in return?”

 “Nothing,” Keefe said, putting on his best angelic smile, “You’re gonna do it ‘cause you love me.” Alvar smiled ruffling Keefe’s hair, “That I do, that I do.” 

 The two walked back to the front of Ravagog in companionable silence that was occasionally interrupted by a joke or two. Once they made it back at the entrance they stood there for a second before Alvar reached out to pat Keefe’s shoulder. 

 “I’ll see y-”

 “I missed you” Keefe interrupted. Alvar blinked at Keefe, smile falling from his face, in that moment he looked so full of regret and sadness that Keefe couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. Alvar pulled Keefe into a strong hug squeezing him tightly right before he let go.

 “I missed you too kiddo.”

 Phase one out of three began a few days later. Keefe and Fitz were sitting outside by the lake to do their homework. They were sitting pretty close already but Keefe sighed and shifted his textbook leaning a little closer to Fitz. 

 Keefe watched from the corner of his eye as he purposely pressed his thigh into Fitz’s. Fitz’s eyes widened and his hand jerked subtly enough that Keefe wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t paying attention. Good thing he was.

 Fitz tried to subtly shift away but Keefe was having none of it. Fitz gave up on subtly and crossed his legs so it would be painfully obvious Keefe was pressing their legs together on purpose if he tried again. Keefe waited a few minutes then flipped over on to stomach so that their arms brushed every time Keefe went to write something down. 

 Fitz let out a frustrated sigh next to him and Keefe looked over to where he was attempting to plan an essay for Elvin history. He could work with this.

 “Need some help with that ‘Roy?” 

 “Please,” Fitz said, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice. Keefe hummed as he sat up leaning over Fitz’s shoulder to read over his work. 

 “Pen?” Fitz held out the pen. Keefe pretended to still be reading over Fitz’s work as he skimmed his fingertips along Fitz’s knuckles, who shivered at the light touch. Keefe then pressed his chest into Fitz’s back reveling in his sharp intake of breath. 

 Keefe continued to stay pressed firmly against Fitz who seemed intent on keeping his breathing regulated while Keefe corrected his work. Keefe finished slowly putting the pen down. You know what, fuck it Keefe thought.

 “You’d think with all the books you’d read you would better, I guess it’s for the aesthetic, I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t suit you though,” Keefe said, lips hovering close to Fitz’s ear who was completely frozen in place.

 Keefe laid back down on the ground facing upwards this time so he could look over at Fitz every so often, who was still distinctly flustered the rest of the afternoon.

 Stage two had to wait until the night before Alvar would come visit. It was a Friday so the boys had decided to play basequest, they pestered Biana and Della into joining them so they could actually have a full team. By the time Keefe and Fitz finally gave up, it was dark. Going to plan so far.

 The two boys trudged into Fitz’s room drenched in sweat. Fitz started rifling around in his dresser. It had been a few minutes when he let out a muffled curse.

 “I think I lost my crest, I’m gonna go look around outside,” Improvising is never a bad idea, right? Keefe hummed in acknowledgment waiting for Fitz’s footsteps to fade down the hallway before he began. 

 Keefe peeled off his sweaty shirt and dug around Fitz’s shirt drawer. Keefe hesitated before putting it on, eventually throwing it back and walking into Fitz’s bathroom to shower.  When Keefe came out of the bathroom Fitz wasn’t back yet.

 Keefe then went back to the dresser pulling on a pair of Fitz’s more casual pants and throwing on a shirt that he knew was a little oversized on Fitz so it should fit him fine. When Keefe looked at his reflection in the mirror he felt his cheeks flush at the sight of him. If he was blushing, then Fitzy should have a fun time with this. 

 Just as he turned back around Fitz came through the door holding his Vacker crest triumphantly in his hand. His gaze lingered on Keefe’s shirt then realization seemed to set in. Fitz blinked and Keefe knew he’d be blushing hard if he could. 

 “I- Uh- my shirt,” Fitz managed after staring at Keefe slack-jawed for a couple seconds

 “Very observant,” Keefe teased, taking a step closer then wrinkling his nose, “please shower you reek.”

 Fitz was able to make it into the bathroom without much trouble. That was a lie, Fitz tripped over his feet seven times (Keefe counted), he didn’t tear his eyes away from Keefe’s frame longer than five seconds and stared at him for a solid thirty before shutting the bathroom door behind him. 

 Keefe chuckled going over to the desk to get a piece of paper so he could sketch. Keefe let his hand flow, graphite shading in hollows and lines. When Keefe looked at the rough sketch of what he had so far he wasn’t surprised it seemed to be Fitz of some sort, after all, that’s what most of his drawings ended up being. When Fitz stepped back into the room he seemed to be a little more, well, put together. 

 “Sorry, I didn’t ask but I can stay over tonight, right?” Keefe asked when he heard the bathroom door slide into place. 

 “Yeah sure, whatcha doing?” Fitz questioned as he randomly picked a book from the shelf.

 “Sketching,”

 They both laid there in silence for a while, Fitz engrossed in a book he had probably read several times and Keefe detailing his drawing. Keefe sighed in relief when he managed to get it to look somewhat like he wanted it. He leaned on the back two legs of his chair tilting it backward. 

 “Please don’t fall,” Fitz said, putting his book down on the nightstand. Keefe huffed, but complied standing up and walking over to Fitz’s bed. 

 “Move over,” Keefe said.

 “Huh?”

 “Scooch, I’m tired and clingy,”

 “Clingy?” Fitz repeated, squeaking. 

 Keefe somehow managed to maintain his bored expression as he turned off the lights and got under the covers. Fitz was still tense beside him minutes later so Keefe decided he needed to do something about it.

 “Fi?” Keefe whispered gently, “c’ mere.” Fitz seemed to stiffen even more and this was the first time Keefe truly felt like maybe he had been wrong after all. It’s not like it would have been surprising, Keefe wasn’t much of a catch, just a childhood best friend really.

 Keefe’s breathing began to become rapid but was held off by Fitz’s warm hand on his forearm. When Keefe got himself back under control he took it as a sign that yes, you can touch me it’s fine. 

 Keefe scooted over to where Fitz was lying down and threw an arm over his torso burying his nose in Fitz’s neck. Fitz eventually melted into the touch fully relaxing and falling asleep to Keefe’s steady heartbeat and soft breathing. 

 Keefe woke up to Fitz whispering, well, that’s what Keefe assumed it was supposed to be but it was a little too loud to actually be considered whispering. He opened his eyes to see the blurry frame of Alvar glancing back over his shoulder as the door closed behind him. Fitz sighed heavily pushing his fingers through Keefe's hair.

 Keefe tried not to give away the fact that he was awake but Fitz eventually felt Keefe shift. Fitz’s hand paused for a second then pulled away like he was burned.

 “Morning, Fitzy,” Keefe said into Fitz’s chest.

 “I- uh morning,” Fitz muttered, shifting in embarrassment.

 Keefe refuses to let go of Fitz for several minutes despite Fitz’s, albeit weak protests. The two boys got out of bed a little awkwardly and shuffled over to the bathroom.

 Keefe’s cheeks burned as they stood side by side brushing their teeth. Fitz was leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed humming tunelessly. Keefe willed his cheeks to cool down before Fitz opened his eyes.

 Fate wasn’t on Keefe’s side cause Fitz opened his eyes then cocked his head to the side wordlessly asking for an explanation.

“It’s too damn domestic,” 

 Fitz dropped his toothbrush back into the holder, and like the asshole he was, leaned back against the sink and let his head lull onto Keefe’s shoulder. Keefe finished quickly nudging Fitz so they could go down to the kitchen.

 They entered to, well, quite a scene. Della was standing at the stove burning breakfast as Biana made coffee off to the side warily side-eying her mother. Alvar was seated on a barstool, chin propped up in his hand staring into a mug.

 “Oh, hey boys,” Alvar looked up smirking at them. Keefe subtlety shook his head which Alvar frowned at but motioned for them to sit down. 

 “Fitzroy, be a dear and help me?” Della said a slight edge of panic to her voice. Fitz didn’t even have a chance to sit down before shuffling over to help. 

 “What happened?” Alvar said, leaning closer to Keefe.

 “Nothing, and that’s the problem, he really is clueless,” 

 “If the closet idea doesn’t work I have a backup plan.” Keefe didn’t exactly like the look in Alvar’s eyes, but you do what you have to do.

 Fitz managed to salvage enough food to hold them over until lunch. Alden came in and everyone started eating. The silence wasn’t tense per se but it sure as hell wasn’t comfortable. Alden excused himself after not too long, leaving a wake of awkward silence. 

 “We’re still making mallowmelt right?” Biana piped up.

 “Oh right, Alvar, Fitz, Keefe can you grab the ingredients?” Della asked. 

 The pantry wasn’t exactly the ideal size for a locked in a closet situation, it was a little too roomy but Keefe could make do. Fitz turned towards the shelf looking for the flour. Keefe turned towards Alvar who mouthed five minutes. Keefe nodded, handing the bag of sugar to Alvar who grabbed the flour from Fitz.

 “I’ll bring this out to mom, find the flavoring,” Alvar told the boys as he walked out of the pantry. Keefe heard the lock click behind him but Fitz was too busy reaching for the vanilla to notice.

 “Fuck it,” Fitz muttered which was never a good sign. Keefe glanced Fitz’s way to see him shuffling over some containers so he could step on one of the lower shelves. dumbass

  Fitz tested his weight, he must have thought it was sufficient because he pushed himself up on it reaching for the vanilla. Shit, Keefe thought a moment too late as the shelf started creaking. 

 “Fitz,” Keefe said lowly.

 “Almost there…” 

 Fitz had no self-preservation apparently because he pushed his other foot off the floor putting all of his weight on a shelf as old as the house. The shelf, as expected, collapsed with a dull snap. Fitz released his hold on the bottle of vanilla as the ground rushed towards him. 

 To Keefe it all seemed to happen in slow motion as he stood there, useless. The bottle of vanilla shattered sending glass shards in all directions. Fitz meanwhile was attempting to soften his fall by catching himself with his hands.

 “FuuUck,” Fitz screamed as glass impaled his right palm. That seemed to spur Keefe into action because he rushed to Fitz's side, hesitating before resting his hand comfortingly on Fitz’s bicep.

“Why is it locked?” Della’s voice could be heard through the pantry door as she tried the handle. When Della swung the door open she and Biana were gazing worriedly down at the pair.

 “I told you guys,” Alvar said as he casually made his way to the door, “they’re fin-”

 “I am fine,” Fitz said through gritted teeth, hiding his palm so his mom wouldn’t see it. Della muttered something about cleaning the mess up. Keefe’s eyes shifted to Fitz’s hand and he saw blood surfacing around the glass.

 “I’m gonna go check to make sure Fitz doesn’t have any cuts,” Keefe announced, dragging Fitz through the door by his uninjured hand.

 “Ah, good idea,” Biana said, grabbing an old rag from the cabinet. 

 Keefe pulled Fitz into the small bathroom at the end of the hallway shutting the door gently behind them. Fitz eased himself up onto the countertop wincing even though he only used the fingertips of his right hand.

 Keefe wiggled his fingers, a nervous habit he has had since he was little and bent down to open the cabinet. He held Fitz calf as he propped open the cabinet door searching for antiseptic and a towel.

 Keefe stood back up cradling Fitz's injured hand who winced at any movement. Keefe drummed his fingers nervously against the cabinet as he inspected the wound. Honestly, it was a nasty cut but not too deep, though the glass was still wedged in Fitz’s skin so that was gonna be a pain to remove.

 “Fitzy,” Keefe said gently, reaching out for his hand once more, “we need to remove the glass okay?” 

 Fitz nodded in response, biting down on his lip when Keefe opened a drawer to get some tweezers. Keefe positioned the tweezers above the glass, attempting to gather up the nerve to pull it out. 

 It was a lot harder to care for someone else’s injuries than his own. It’s not like his parents hurt him, but they didn’t care for him either so he had to learn how to clean a scrape when he fell from a tree around 8 years ago, Keefe was well practiced at this point.

 Fitz’s hand involuntarily flinched as Keefe gently started to pull the glass out. The tweezers dug deeper into Fitz’s wound drawing a sharp intake of breath from him. Keefe gritted his teeth and finished the job, pulling the glass out and placing it down onto a paper towel. 

 “Sorry, are you okay?” Keefe asked, placing his hand gently on Fitz’s knee. 

 “You’re overreacting it was just some glass Keefe,” 

 Keefe ignored that last comment grabbing a cloth and silently working at cleaning Fitz's hand. Keefe knew from personal experience alcohol stung but Fitz sat there stoically as Keefe used the alcohol wetted tip of a cloth to clean his wound. 

 “Keefe,” Keefe looked up from where he was tracing the lines of Fitz’s palm lightly. They were nose to nose and wow Fitz’s eyes were so much prettier up close. Keefe searched Fitz’s eyes for something, anything to indicate what he was feeling.

 Fitz’s uninjured palm came up to cradle Keefe’s jaw before his thoughts could spiral too far. Fitz’s thumb ran against Keefe’s cheek and any coherent thought he had flew out the window. 

 “Can I kiss you?” Keefe managed. Fitz’s eyes widened in surprise but a shaky nod was enough confirmation. Keefe leaned in slowly, still unsure if this was happening. Their lips touched and Fitz was warm, so warm. The kiss was sweet and innocent but enough for them. 

 “Oh,” Fitz said a little breathlessly after Keefe pulled away. Keefe blinked at Fitz in shock then burst into a fit of laughter leaning his forehead against Fitz’s shoulder. Fitz’s arm wrapped around Keefe’s back comfortably remaining there even after his laughter dissolved. 

 Keefe finished wrapping up Fitz’s hand and tugged him down from his spot on the countertop. The two boys walked back into the kitchen which was, well chaos at best. Alvar was stirring a pot, nose crinkled, and brow furrowed as he attempted to change the temperature on the stove. 

 When Alvar met Keefe’s gaze he raised his eyebrows to which Keefe responded with a thumbs up.

@never-ever-too-many-fandoms @loverofallthingssmart @comas-are-for-sleeping @you-are-the-vacker-legacy @clearlykeefitz @theofficialkai517

[moonlit-jeno]

Love Sick

Chapter 3- Jeno

pairing: nct dream ‘00 line + reader

chapter warnings: very brief mentions of gore

words: 2.7k

summary:

“I just kinda thought you were joking around, y’know? But then my parents really didn’t come home, and the phone lines really aren’t back up.”

notes: this is kind of filler but also kind of necessary to determine oc’s relationship w the boys??

masterlist | prev | next

You’ve been listening attentively to Jaemin and Renjun for the past twenty minutes, your gaze darting from boy to boy as they explain the story as bluntly as possible. Jeno winces when Jaemin describes the things they’ve seen- he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget the brains splattering over his windshield- but you don’t even flinch. Honestly, Jeno can’t tell if you believe them or not.

“-and now we’re here. Sorry for breaking in and stuff, we did try to knock.” Jaemin finishes, running his hand through his hair anxiously. It’s silent for a bit as they wait for you to respond.

“So you saw the girl start seizing,” You finally say, eyes piercing straight into Jaemin’s soul. “And you just magically knew what was happening and bolted.” Jaemin nods slowly. Jeno can tell by the tone of your voice that you definitely don’t believe them. You stand up, walking over to where the food is spread out across the floor. A can of peas rolls towards them when you nudge it with your foot. “This seems like a lot of emergency food. Were you really shopping for peas?” Frustration builds up in Jeno’s gut, curling under his skin. You don’t believe them, and he can’t even blame you. It sounds insane. But it’s real, and it’s happening, and the worst part is that it’s not like they can prove it to you without going outside and showing you a real… well, whatever those things are.

“Well, no, but I was near the aisle with all that stuff in it and I just kind of grabbed it as I went.” Jaemin explains. “I wanted to be prepared.” “I dunno, man. I’ve seen a lot of weird shit, and my first thought has never been ‘whelp, guess it’s the zombie apocalypse’.” Your eyebrows are raised, head tilted to the side.

Jeno’s had enough. He’s tired, he’s scared, and he’s reached his breaking point. “Look, I don’t care what kind of weird shit you’ve seen. Have you ever seen someone bite a man’s nose clean off? Have you ever seen someone run full speed at a moving car and proceed to consciously bash their own head in? Hmm? You ever driven with blood and brains splattered across your windshield?” Donghyuck reaches out to tug on his hand and it’s only then that he realizes he’s standing. He keeps his eyes on you as he sits back down, forcing himself to relax. “I know it sounds stupid, but we aren’t fucking lying. I don’t know how else to prove it to you, unless you want to run outside and find a zombie.” His words hang in the air for a minute and he’s worried that he’s been too mean, has let his temper get the best of him. But then he realizes that the look in your eyes is calculating, and the way your eyes are roaming over him isn’t because you’re scared. You’re sizing him up.

“No, I don’t want to do that.” You say softly, picking up a box of cake mix. “But I do think that we should organize our food. Seems like we’re going to be here a while.” 

Jeno is utterly, completely confused. You have just pulled a complete one-eighty, going from disbelieving to fully supporting their story. All four of the boys exchange wide eyed glances, not sure what to do. Renjun eventually shrugs, standing up. “Good idea. Be careful what you give Donghyuck, though. He’ll probably eat it.”

Donghyuck whines in protest, swatting at Renjun’s thigh and missing by a foot He gets a bag of tortillas thrown at him, the same ones he had squashed in the cart. You move to the fridge, pulling everything out, only raising an eyebrow when you notice Jeno watching. 

“Gonna help? Or are you too worried about your nose?” It’s teasing, mocking his words from earlier. His jaw clicks and he feels his fists clenching, has to put conscious effort into calming himself down.

“My nose is fine.” He grumbles, taking a carton of strawberries from you and slamming them down much too aggressively. The plastic dents. You smirk.

Organizing everything only takes about thirty minutes, but Jeno is absolutely exhausted by the end of it. He lets himself melt into the softness of the mattress, limbs heavy. You’d given them a house tour- Jeno had argued that they’d already seen the house and you had just told him that they had, quite frankly, done a shit job of searching- and let them steal your brothers room for a bit. “Just until they come back.” You’d said, throwing them some clothes. “Also, you kind of reek.” Jeno had to bite back a snotty remark of “they’re not coming back”, because that’d be too mean even if he doesn’t like you. Also, he doesn’t know if they’re coming back or not, doesn’t really know much of anything. The so called ‘apocalypse’ could be over within days and he would have no clue.

His head is on Jaemin’s chest, and he’s forever thankful for the younger. Jeno’s been ranting for way too long about you, but the younger’s let him go on interrupted, playing with his hair to soothe him.

“Even the way she fucking looks at me is so- ugh, I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like she thinks she’s better than us, like she knows something we don’t.” Jaemin, apparently, has had enough of Jeno’s bitching. “Jen, I know you’re scared and frustrated right now, but I think you’re reading too much into it. We did just break into her house, and a zombie apocalypse isn’t exactly a believable story. She’s probably just humoring us.”

“No, Jaem, you didn’t see the way she looks at me. It was so much more condescending than she looked at anyone else.” You’re actually nice to the rest of the boys, giggling at their jokes, not mocking and teasing them. You’d even gone as far as trading conspiracy theories with Renjun, not once laughing at him cruelly.

“She looks at you the same as everybody else, Jen.” Jaemin sounds exasperated. “I think you’re just looking for an outlet, here. You’re seeing your own frustrations in her.” Jeno’s quiet for a bit as he processes it. Jaemin’s probably right, but it’s easier to ignore it right now. Admitting that he’s wrong isn’t going to make him feel better. “She’s also like, strangely calm about everything. Like she was so skeptical and then she completely pulled a 180 on us. Doesn’t make sense.”

Jaemin shrugs and the motion of his chest moves Jeno’s head with it. “People process things differently. Also, she hasn’t seen anything that we have.”

He doesn’t respond to that.

Only three days pass and Jeno’s already managed to break something . The vase was kind of ugly, in his defense, but also, it was definitely expensive. He tries to say that he did her a favor but Jaemin smacks him on the back of the head and points out that it still belongs to you. With a roll of his eyes, Jeno sets off to find you.

Jeno doesn’t get a response when he calls your name, and you’re not in your bedroom when he checks. You’re not with Renjun and Donghyuck, either, and Jeno starts to mildly panic. Maybe you’d gone outside because you didn’t believe them and got eaten by zombies. Maybe the zombies broke in and they’re next. 

He’s saved from descending into full blown panic when he hears a noise coming from the bathroom. There’s still no response when he calls your name, but he’s at least pretty sure that you’re not dead. Preoccupied with figuring out how to tell you that he broke your expensive (ugly) vase, he doesn’t bother knocking. 

His mouth is open, words on the tip of his tongue, when he stops short. You’re crying, like full on sobbing, and Jeno definitely was not prepared to handle this.

Your forehead is pressed to the mirror, condensation forming on the glass and fogging your reflection. There’s quiet sobs leaving your mouth, your shoulders shaking with the force of them, and Jeno feels his heart drop to his stomach. His mouth feels dry and there are hot tears forming behind his eyes.

Jeno feels frozen, wanting to help but afraid to. He turns to leave but you spot him and he stiffens, caught. You freeze for a moment before wiping your eyes with the back of your hands and sniffing almost violently in a frantic attempt to compose yourself. You smile but it’s lopsided and looks more like a grimace.

“Are you alright?” You’re not, it’s obvious that you’re not, but he finds himself asking anyways because he just doesn’t know what to say.

You nod but the movement’s jerky. “Yeah. Yeah! No, I’m fine. Are you?” The first word comes out as a croak and you clear your throat before trying again.

A tear slips down your right eye and you wipe at it quickly, almost angrily, as if it’s betraying you by showing how sad you are. Jeno raises his eyebrows. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s fine if you’re not.”

Another tear slips out as you try to smile, followed by another, until there’s too many for you to try to wipe away. You try to nod but give up halfway through and end up shaking your head, breaking down completely. Jeno moves forward on instinct, arms held open, and you cling to him as if he’s your lifeline.

“I’m scared.” You sob, the words broken and small. “I’m so, so scared.”

Jeno feels so unbelievably guilty as he holds your shaking figure, feeling his shirt become damp with your tears. The sound of your sobs drill holes into his heart. He feels sick as he thinks about how quick to hate you he was, how quick he was to talk shit about you when he didn’t know anything about you.

He rubs your back soothingly, dropping his face down until your hair tickles his nose. There are tears pricking the back of his eyes, too, and he wills them not to fall. 

There’s a voice in the back of his head that sounds vaguely like Jaemin’s telling him that the bathroom is not the best place to have a breakdown. Jeno keeps his arms around you as he steps back, pulling you with him and successfully managing to usher you into your room. He lets go of you when he sits down, fully expecting you to sit down next to him. Nothing prepares him for you to climb into his lap and curl up against him. He pats your back gently and bounces his knee anxiously. All he can do is whisper that it’s going to be alright, that he’s got you. The words taste bitter on his tongue because he knows they’re probably lies.

You wear out eventually, the full body sobs simmering down to occasional hiccups. Your breathing evens out eventually, your head heavy against his chest. Jeno peaks down at you and finds your eyes closed.

He carefully moves you onto the bed, trying his damn hardest not to wake you up. You make a noise just as he’s pulling the covers over you and he freezes, relaxing when you don’t move again. Jeno finds himself lingering even though there’s no reason for him to be there anymore, not when you’re asleep. But he finds himself mesmerised by how peaceful and innocent you look right now. There are tear tracks on your cheek and he wipes at them with his thumb, hesitating for only a moment before pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

A hand reaches out to him just as he’s leaving, grazing the side of his leg. He turns to see you looking at him with bleary eyes, a pout on your face. Panic runs through him and he prays that you didn’t feel the kiss. He doesn’t even know why he did it.

“Stay?” It’s just one word, and he’s not even sure if it’s a question or a command, but he finds himself walking back to the bed. His plan is to sit on the edge and maybe let you hold his hand, but you frown at him before pushing him to lay down. You only seem to hesitate for a moment before laying back down next to him, tugging one of his arms around you. “Cuddle me.” Jeno huffs a laugh at your bossiness, complying with you because hey, you’ve been crying and yeah, it’s nice to hold someone. He doesn’t mean to fall asleep with his face pressed against the nape of your neck, but that’s just what happens.

He sure as hell doesn’t mean to make it a habit, but again, that’s just what happens. Jeno finds himself in your bed every night for the next week, his arms wrapped tightly around you, your body pressed tightly against his. It’s weird for sure, considering he’s A) never shared a bed with a girl before and B) neither of you discuss it, even though it’s definitely supposed to be weird to share a bed with a stranger. 

You don’t question it when Jeno shows up the next night, sitting hesitantly on the edge of your bed as he asks if you’re feeling better. He wonders if you can see through the thinly veiled excuse for him to hopefully hold you in his arms again. Sure, he definitely could have asked you when he saw you in the morning, or during lunch, or at any other part of the day. So sue him, he feels a little protective of you now, and it feels nice to share a bed with someone.

“Yeah, sorry you had to see that.” You try to laugh it off but it sounds hollow. “I just kinda thought you were joking around, y’know? But then my parents really didn’t come home, and the phone lines really aren’t back up, and it kinda just hit me at once. Um.” You laugh again but it sounds broken and your eyes are looking a little glassy. Jeno offers you a hug and you don’t hesitate before crawling into his arms, burying your head in his chest before pushing him to lay down. 

And he doesn’t question it when you tug him into your room the next night, an extra pair of clothes sitting on the desk. A feeling of satisfaction rises up in his chest that you chose him over the other three boys, but he tries to tamp it down.

Even Renjun didn’t say anything when he saw them one night, though he definitely gave Jeno a ‘what the fuck’ type of look. It’s the same look that all of the boys give him when they’re all huddled around the TV watching some movie from the 90s that you’d found the disk for. 

Hyuck, Renjun, and Jaemin are sprawled out on the couch. Donghyuck puts his head on Renjun’s lap and the elder attempts to choke him, laughing and stroking his hair when all Hyuck does is fake a moan. You and Jeno are curled together on the reclining chair, your head on his chest and his arms wrapped loosely around your waist. Jaemin had shot Jeno a curious glance earlier but didn’t say anything.

Jeno’s battling the urge to press another kiss to your forehead- this time when you’re wide awake and have the chance of feeling it- when Jaemin saves him. He’s off the couch- probably bored with the movie- and looking through one of the windows.

“Hey, you’ve got a pretty big backyard.” Jaemin points out, turning to call it over your shoulder. You hum. “What’s that big building out there?”

Your face is smashed into Jeno’s chest and he feels the vibrations when you speak. The words are muffled and barely comprehensible even to him, who’s the closest in proximity to you.

“What?”

“She said it’s a greenhouse.” Jeno responds. Jaemin raises his eyebrows again- seriously, twice in one day is too much- and Jeno shrugs in response.

Renjun pipes up this time. “You didn’t want to tell us earlier?”

You actually lift your head this time. “No? It’s not that interesting?”

Renjun stares at you like you’re dumb. Jeno’s been on the receiving end of it many times. “You’re right. It’s not like it’s a source of food or anything. Y’know, the thing that we’re probably gonna run out of soon. That thing that we kind of need to live?”

Your eyes widen in realization.

[evengayerpanic]

Hello! First of all, love your fics. ♥️ Waiting patiently for the next chapter of Trains and Paasengers.😊 Is it okay to give a writing prompt? Hahaha! Like how Ellie and Aster's world will collide with Will and Vivian's. :) Maybe they're in the same city and they needed a doctor or even Ellie becoming a doctor under the guidance of Will. Or even the art world will introduce Aster to Vivian. Hahaha they just seem cute together and all the gut feels it will bring.

Writing prompts are always welcome to give, thank you so much for your kind words about my work! I should have the last chapter of Trains and Passengers up in a few days or so! I really hope that you enjoy what I’ve done with your prompt! It was a lot of fun to write, I adore Wil and Vivian, Alice Wu does an amazing job making her characters come to life.

_________________

“Tell me again who we’re having dinner with, baby, one of your students?” Wilhelmina Pang peered over towards the bathroom where her beautiful wife was half-dressed, desperately trying to finish curling her hair and applying the last touches of her make-up.

Vivian Shing looked up in the mirror, making eye contact with Wil as the latter did the buttons of her blouse up, rolling her sleeves just slightly - the way Vivian liked it. “Aster Flores.” She replied, setting down her curling iron and reaching for the tube of lipstick. “She’s the painter we hired to do the magic forest backdrops for our spring recital.”

“I see.” Wil smirked, adjusting her collar, before moving to Vivian’s side as the woman struggled to reach behind her for the zipper. “I got it, sweetheart.”

Vivian beamed, turning to face her wife with a blush of gratitude as Wil did her dress up for her. “I think you’ll love her, she’s a fantastic painter. She’s so very innovative, and she is just absolutely brilliant.”

“You used to think that I was brilliant, too.” Wil teased.

With a teasing grin, Vivian leaned in until she was pressed against her wife, faces inches from each other. “Yes, that was before you became a Mother. Now you’re boring, and no fun... I mean our bed time is nine-thirty at night, just how lame is that?”

“You’re the one who falls asleep during Jeopardy.”

“You’re the one that makes me watch Jeopardy, no wonder I fall asleep, Wil.” Vivian smiles, leaning up and kissing her wife’s nose gently, pulling back to look at her. “You aren’t jealous, are you, my love?”

Wilhelmina shakes her head, but it isn’t convincing.

“She’s twenty-two, and we’re going to dinner with her AND her girlfriend, you have nothing to worry about.”

Wil makes a face that Vivian can’t help but laugh at. Her voice playfully hurt-sounding as she protests. “I wasn’t worried anyways.” Her face grows soft as she wraps her arms around Vivian’s waist and draws her in closer. “Besides, you’re mine, even if I have to chase you down in an airport again to keep you here.”

Vivian laughs, brushing the lock of hair that fell from Wil’s ponytail behind her ear. “This time you better kiss me then when I ask you too.” She teases her.

Right before Wil can remind Vivian of all the times she’s kissed her since then, the door bursts open and three little bodies race into their bedroom, practically jumping at each other as they dive on Wil and Vivian.

“Mama! Bowen is teasing me!” Wilhelmina is pounced on by her four year old daughter, the little girl wraps her arms around her mother and wails into her.

“Nuh uh!” The six year old boy immediately retorts, shaking his head as his twin copies his movement.

“She’s telling a fib!” Bence, always the one to escalate the situation, immediately yelps. He sticks his tongue out at his little sister if only to prove her right.

Vivian sees this and immediately scolds him, a warning in her voice as she gives him the look that only mother’s can give. “Bence, leave Mei alone.”

The boy sulks, but only for a moment as Wilhelmina reminds their three young and rambunctious children gently, “You better be good, Nai Nai is coming to watch you, and she’s bringing Caihong.”

The children immediately stop bickering and begin to cheer. While Nai Nai is not their favourite grandma (they claim that their Lao Lao is nicer), all three children absolutely adore their Mama’s little sister Cai.

As Caihong has gotten older, she’s less inclined to play with her niece and nephews, instead choosing to be with her friends. However, Wil and Vivian plan on being out late tonight, and there’s no way that Wil’s Mother would leave her twelve year old unattended at night, so the child has to come along to babysit.

Wilhelmina is happy for her kids, but also feels bad for her poor sister who’s likely going to be delegated to being the children’s play toy for the entire evening.

Vivian smiles at Bowen and Bence, sitting down on the edge of the bed and letting the two boys climb into her lap to press kisses to her cheeks, waving Mei over as well so that Wil can finish tying her tie.

“So what’s the girls name?” Wil asks, her ears perking up as their doorbell rings and the children all sprint towards it excitedly. “The name of your painter?”

_________________

“Aster Flores!” The brunette young woman perks up, holding her hand out to Dr. Wilhelmina Pang with an earnest smile. “And this is my girlfriend, Ellie Chu!”

Wil takes her hand and shakes it, before turning to shake the other girls hand as well. “Nice to meet you, Aster. My wife speaks highly of you and your work.”

The young woman blushes slightly as Ellie responds for her. “Aster has plenty of good things to say about Vivian as well. She really enjoys working with her.”

The two women nod their heads at each other, before Wil tries to spark up a conversation. “So what do you do for work, Ellie, are you a painter as well?”

“Oh no.” Ellie stammers. “I’m nowhere near talented enough to paint like Aster does, I’m a junior editor.”

Wilhelmina looks at Ellie like she understands exactly what she’s talking about. “I know. Sometimes when I see Vivian dance, I feel like I’m super untalented.”

Ellie immediately perks up. “I once saw Aster paint a meadow of flowers in about four hours!” She pauses hesitantly. “Sometimes I can barely correct the mistakes in an article in that amount of time.”

The two women begin to gush about how talented the loves of their lives are, excusing themselves to go grab the ladies a drink. Aster and Vivian watch after them, amused smirks settled on both their faces.

“So I think I just noticed something...” Vivian trails off as the women get further away, matching white button-ups and near identical hair styles making it difficult to tell where Wil ends and Ellie begins.

Aster nods her head, feeling a little like she’s in the twilight-zone as the women both cringe when the male bartender speaks to them. She can tell they’ve just been hit on from the way that Ellie - or wait, maybe it’s Wil - she can’t tell from a distance due to the outfit they both decided to wear despite having never met before, steps back and Wil - or maybe it’s Ellie - hesitantly hands over the money for the drinks. “We’re dating the same person, aren’t we?”

“Well not exactly...” Vivian trails off, hearing Wil and Ellie both begin to awkwardly laugh at the bartender and also laugh a little at themselves. “I think that I’m technically married to the person that you’re dating.”

Aster wordlessly holds her hand out to Vivian, a small engagement ring sitting on her finger, her mouth still slightly open as she watches the two interact. Finally she turns slightly to Vivian. “She surprised me last night with this ring, so we’re engaged now.”

Vivan’s eyes widen, both at Aster’s news but at the fact that the two are getting along like they’ve known each other forever, despite it being less than five minutes. “Congratulations Aster! I’m so happy for you both...” She pauses again as the girls turn to walk back to them with drinks. “This is still really weird though.”

Aster nods in agreement. “Definitely weird.”

_________________

“And then I had to tell Paul that just because he has a key to our place, doesn’t mean he can come over unannounced and not expect to see something he doesn’t want too.” Ellie rolled her eyes as the table started laughing, Aster going pink in the ears.

“My Mom and neighbour Jay are like that, they’ve definitely walked in on a few things that they regret.” Wil smirks at Vivian, her wife smacking her in the arm lightly with a laugh as she also blushed with Aster.

“We took both of their keys away.” Vivian admits.

The four of them enjoy a nice dinner together, a few bottles of wine are opened and the conversation is all over the place; anecdotes from all four of their careers, full rants about how people treat lesbians and bisexual women, and even a few comments about the children that Vivian and Wilhelmina have.

It’s nice being able to talk to the younger couple about the process they went through with the kids, how Vivian carried the twins and then Wil was the one pregnant with their youngest. It’s too early for Aster and Ellie to think about having kids, but they still seem interested in asking details for the future.

They even laugh about their significant others attention to details when it comes to decoration.

“I swear, Vivian gets so crazy about decor, she made me paint our daughters room about six different shades before it was finally the right colour!”

“Aster made me move all of our living room furniture three times until it ‘felt right’, I was exhausted!”

“Wil’s favourite colours are so muted, if it weren’t for the kids being around I think we’d look like we were living in a black and white movie or something!”

“I told Ellie to go find some art for our office, her only decorating job, she came back with a horse picture and an actual dogs playing poker painting.”

They laugh when hearing about Ellie and Paul’s antics in writing Aster love letters, the story much funnier now that the hurt and betrayed feelings are gone.

“So, here I am, getting proposed to by my high school boyfriend in my Dad’s church in front of the entire town, and Ellie, just decides to scream out, ‘No!’”

Ellie blushes bright red, embarrassment written clear over her face until Vivian comes to her defense slyly.

“I think it’s cute. This one...” She nudges Wil with her elbow playfully, a smirk on her face, “Wouldn’t even kiss me in a crowded airport to prove her love.”

Wil rolls her eyes back at her wife. “Baby, we’ve been married ten years and have three kids... We got over the airport thing! Besides, I’ve kissed you in plenty of airports since then.” She shares a look with Ellie.

“Two airports.” Vivian teases. “Once during our honeymoon, and then again last summer when we took the kids to Disney Land.”

Ellie glances back at Wilhelmina. “Don’t worry, when I proposed last night, Aster waited a whole two minutes looking around our apartment, before finally turning to me and saying she was waiting to see if anyone would scream ‘No!’ this time around.”

“Remind me again why we put up with this?” Wil glances back at Vivian, only to feel her heart swell like it did all those years ago, and she doesn’t even need to hear Ellie’s answer, but she still humours her.

“Because... Women.” Ellie answers plainly, her own heart swelling as she grabs Aster’s hand and squeezes it, the smile Aster gives her lighting up the room.

“Ah yes, women. Good reason.”

_________________

By the time dessert is over and the bill has been brought; Wil and Ellie have made plans to meet for dinner again the next time the loves of their lives are stuck at work, they’ve also planned to take the kids to a musical in a few weeks, Aster and Vivian not welcome to attend because they’re ‘judgey’.

“Last time we went to a play, you said the set looked like it had been painted by a five year old, Aster!”

“No, I said that I had done better at five years old.”

“You almost got us thrown out of Mei’s ballet class, I’m not letting you get us kicked out of this, Viv!”

“That woman was teaching our daughter all wrong!”

As they leave to return home for the night; Wilhelmina and Vivian to their hopefully sleeping babies, Aster and Ellie to their cat Idgie Threadgoode, there is a round of hugs and handshakes between the couples. Surprisingly, Ellie and Wil are the ones to hug, while Aster and Vivian laugh and shake hands.

“Hey, El?” Wil smiles as the younger girl opens the door for her fiancee. “I’m really glad that your fiancee paints really detailed and talented set pieces.”

Ellie smiles back. “And Wil? I’m really glad your wife is talented and creative enough to have created her own unique ballet so that my fiancee can paint her really detailed and talented set pieces.”

[amoralityplay]

Tokyo, 1992

[Trigger Warning: Mentions of framed suicides. Genre-related violence.]

It had been nearly a month since Audrey had arrived in Tokyo and there was no sign that the Japanese coalition had accepted her application. Audrey had been to three different vampire-owned blood banks and been refused at each given she was not a member nor a guest of a member. She’d even gone so far as to try to bribe a mortal that worked in one of the Tokyo hospitals for a single bag of blood, to no avail. She was hungry and it might have been decades since she’d had to kill anyone for a meal…but desperation was kicking in. The young vampire, slender under the best of circumstances, was losing weight, the angles of her hips and collarbone growing sharp and her stomach constantly twisting with pangs of hunger. Animal blood and sometimes even just sucking on rare meat—more easily obtained, usually from butchers, had been staving off total starvation, but as Audrey examined her face in the small bathroom mirror of her high-rise apartment, tugging down her lower eyelid to note the pale membrane and pushing her lip up to see the same anemic paleness in her gums, she sighed and resigned herself to it: she was going to have to go hunting. [Cut for Length]

It wasn’t going to be very easy. Tokyo was a huge city, dense with many dark pockets and alleyways, but Audrey, tall and blonde, stood out. There were plenty of expats around, sure, but not enough for her to blend in like she could in Europe or the US. She’d have to be very careful…or…she could go home to Phersipnai and admit she hadn’t been able to take care of herself on her own—always a topic of conversation when they spoke. No, not an option. She’d spent decades hunting like other vampires—though not often alone, she often had company to assist—how hard could it be to pick it back up? 

Later, as she wrestled with a wiry British man she’d met in a bar, grabbing his face and slamming his head back against a wall in a dimly lit alleyway, she realized she was a bit rusty and the malnourishment had left her drained and weak. He’d been charmed by her usual tricks, sure, but that hadn’t lasted very long, and even though she was quite a bit stronger than he was—goddamnit—he wouldn’t hold still as soon as he’d spotted her knife. The third crack of his skull against the wall seemed to do the trick and he finally went limp, unconscious, and Audrey frowned down at the blood splatters on her shirt. It was black, of course—she wasn’t so out of practice as to have worn something light colored—but she hated a mess and, in the age of forensics, bloodied clothes were always a risk. She’d have to burn it. Sliding her knife along his forearm, knowing exactly where to find the radial vein and creating a three inch vertical slit. Audrey felt a wave of relief at the first bright red ebb—his heart hadn’t stopped, which would make feeing much easier. Pressing her lips to the wound, Audrey groaned quietly. She’d been so hungry for so long that even just a mouthful of fresh, warm human blood felt like a godsend…and here she had an entire adult man to feed on. Taking any blood with her would be impractical, especially with how she’d killed him—too risky, someone would find him soon and the police would be looking for a killer, but for a moment, she relaxed just a little, feeling less desperate with each pulse of blood. After a few minutes, the pulsing slowed, then stopped, and Audrey let out a soft sigh. It was just one meal—that wouldn’t get her by very long, but hopefully she’d be able to find a less risky source soon. “So, you do this often, or is this your first time?” Audrey’s own blood ran cold as she turned, hurriedly trying to wipe the blood off her chin. “Wha…what?” “I saw the whole thing. Figured dude here was about to get laid until you started bashing his head in…but damn, I sure didn’t expect that next part.” The man, hands tucked into his jean pockets, was obviously an American; she recognized his accent—a New Yorker. Tall, handsome, broad-shouldered. Audrey was very strong, but unlike the man she’d just killed, this one looked like he could have given her a much harder time; even obvious under the cable-knit sweater he wore, he was sculpted, toned, and built like an athlete or a soldier. Audrey had never, in almost 200 years, been caught with a victim; her heart thrummed against her sternum and her panicked mind tried to find some excuse. The man seemed to notice this and let out a small chuckle. “Don’t worry. I’m not calling the police. But…we should probably continue this conversation elsewhere. Put that knife away and wipe your face.” He took a few steps closer, apparently unconcerned that she was armed, had just killed someone, and was drinking blood. He extended his hand. “C’mon.” Still frozen in place, Audrey’s eyes flickered between him, the corpse, and his hand…and some other sort of hunger nagged at her. She hadn’t quite realized what this other pang was, wouldn’t until years later, but…for the last thirty years, Audrey had been alone. Not always literally…she’d lived with her grandfather in Kiev for much of that time, but…since the disastrous non-wedding, Audrey had avoided other people—vampires and mortals alike, lest she get burned again. She was lonely. “You’re…not afraid I’ll do the same to you?” The man laughed, rolling his eyes. “No. You look like I could snap you in half, you too broke to buy some groceries or something? I’ll buy you dinner…unless that just filled you up.”  Pulling a handkerchief from the pocket of her over-sized leather jacket, Audrey wiped her face, then her hands—most of the blood came off, though she could still smell it—and stuffed the square of fabric back into her pocket and very carefully placed her hand in the man’s. “I can’t eat food,” she said quietly as they walked down the alley, making a few turns until it rejoined a larger street. “Not much, anyway. I’ve got…food allergies, sort of. Too much of the wrong things will make me sick.”  It was very late and the neighborhood, occasionally lit by neon signs, was mostly abandoned. “Interesting excuse. What’s your name? I’m Nate.” Audrey hesitated again. She’d already told him far too much. She could be executed for telling him what she really was, but…he could have already killed her, could have called the police, could have done any number of things to endanger her, and he hadn’t. “Audrey.” “Well, Audrey. I’ll walk you home.” “Oh, that’s…not necessary, you don’t have to—“ “I do have to. Gotta say, I’m a little intrigued, Audrey. Pretty little thing like you, but with those glow-in-the-dark eyes, doing horrible things in alleyways, not being careful enough about it. I would like to know what you are…and, you need a lookout or something.” “…Okay.” It was about 20 minutes before the reached her apartment, and Audrey looked up at Nate as he stood next to her, releasing his hand. “Is this…some sort of trick?” “No. No trick. Invite me in.” Audrey squinted at that. She’d never mistaken another vampire for a mortal before, but that…was an oddly vampiric request. “Why?” “Because…I met some guys in Iraq a few years ago that were ranting about being vampire hunters, and I thought they were just crazy…but I’ll be damned if you don’t seem an awful lot like what they were talking about. And…they said that’s a thing. Vampires—real ones—are very particular about invitations.” Swallowing, Audrey reached into her pocket, fingering her keyring nervously. He was…charming, sort of, and she was lonely and…she supposed if anything went awry, she could kill him. As weak as she was, it might be one hell of a struggle…but she’d manage. “Okay…would you like to come inside?” A bright smile was Nate’s immediate response—and Audrey noted his definite lack of any sort of dentition that would indicate he was a vampire, too. “I would.” As Audrey turned to unlock the door, he rested a hand at the small of her back. “Wasn’t just saying things, by the way,” he said, leaning to murmur against her ear. “You’re beautiful. Nothing hotter than a dangerous woman, y’know?” A little startled by his sudden closeness, Audrey jumped over the threshold, dropping her keys and fumbling as she tried to pick them up. Nate laughed, leaning down to snatch the keyring off the floor, then slid it into his own pocket. “You’re awfully jumpy for a, uh, creature of the night, heh.” “Shhh,” she hissed, pushing the elevator button a few times. “If someone hears you—“ “We’ll kill ‘em.” He finished, draping his arm across her shoulders. “Don’t worry. You and your little secret are safe with me, darling.” 

Once they reached her apartment, Nate snorted softly, looking around the small living room; unlike her Boston home, Audrey had brought almost nothing of value with her to Japan, and she’d found a cheap studio apartment typical to young adults in Japan. It was little more than a kitchenette, a narrow living space with a sofa and a TV, and a bedroom and adjacent bathroom partitioned with a sliding door from the rest of the space.  The single window in the bedroom area was hidden behind a set of blinds and then covered with two layers of heavy, thick black curtains. “How luxurious…No Transylvanian castle for you, then?” Audrey frowned. “That’s a stereotype—“ Nate laughed, dropping onto the sofa. “Sorry, it’s just funny. Supposed to be so mysterious…and you live in this shit apartment like a broke college student. Aren’t you supposed to be some immortal being, thousands of years old and incredibly rich?” 

“I’m not that old…And I have plenty of money, I just…wanted to try something different.” “Ooooh. I gotcha. You’re slumming. Of course you are…heh. I should have known, never met a girl yet who does this grunge look,” he gestured to her outfit, “that wasn’t rich as—“ A low growl gave him pause and his brow shot up as Dogmeat stepped out of the bedroom, lips pulled back in an ugly snarl. “You, uh, didn’t mention the dog…” He squinted, then pushed himself to his feet. “A barghest, huh? Well, that’s a coincidence.” Audrey shrugged her jacket off, hanging it on a coat rack near the door, shushed at the dog, then what Nate had just said caught up with her. “You can…you can tell what he is?” “Sure I can. I’ve got one, too.” Nate looked Audrey over now that she’d removed her coat, then stepped by her to go to the kitchen. “Oughta get yourself cleaned up…You have anything you can eat in here? I’ll make you something while you take a bath.” This entire situation was so strange that Audrey still wasn’t sure how to respond…she stared at Nate for a moment, after which he sighed and leaned against the counter between them. “Audrey. I’m not a rapist or anything…I mean, I have killed people, but…I’m not gonna hurt you.” He shrugged, turning to open the fridge, which was nearly empty except for a few beef bones in tightly wrapped plastic and a foam meat tray with three uncooked steaks on it. “Can you eat this?” He asked, holding the tray out. “I can, a small piece. It’s better to just…suck on it a little, to get the juices out of it. I bought it mostly for the dog…animal proteins don’t make me as sick as other foods will, but…they don’t really do much nutritionally.” “Cooked?” “Only a little.” “Okay. Go take a bath.” Audrey nodded slowly, and for a moment she wondered why she was letting any of this happen. Maybe the starvation was getting to her. As he’d promised, Nate didn’t interrupt Audrey as she laid in the tub for a while, long enough that the water started to chill unpleasantly and she was finally forced to get out. The meal from earlier had started to kick in and she felt better. Dressing in a loose white t-shirt and a pair of ripped jeans, Audrey re-emerged to find Nate sitting on the sofa, eating one of the steaks himself while Dogmeat chewed a raw one nearby. Instead of the third steak, a glass with 2 inches of blood at the bottom of it rested on the coffee table. Audrey sucked in a small breath, biting into her lower lip. “Where’d you get that?” “It’s mine.” He held out his hand, which he’d wrapped a dishtowel tightly around. “Cut myself when I was cutting this steak up…why let it go to waste?” “…we’re…not supposed to drink from a mortal we don’t kill. It’s…against the rules.” “That so? How’s following the rules working out for you? That fridge was awful empty and you look like you’re starving even after that guy in the alley.” Audrey frowned, her hands fidgeting with the edge of her t-shirt. “There’s…some sort of problem with my application to the…well, it’s politics, that’s all. I can’t buy blood until it’s sorted out. But…I shouldn’t, it’s…not safe to drink from people anymore, I was just…I had to, earlier. And I shouldn’t…not again. Maybe you should go.” She knew she shouldn’t let him go, either. She should kill him, bottle up as much of his blood as she could and dump his body off the roof like a suicide. But…there was something about him. And he had a barghest, too…maybe it was fate that she’d met him. A mortal that was willing to feed her? It seemed too good to be true. “If you want me to go, I will…but I don’t think you really do. I’m clean, I’m in the Army. Get tested every few months. That’s probably the safest blood you’ll find anywhere this side of the Pacific.” Audrey didn’t move for another moment, considering. She was still hungry, and could smell the blood from where she stood, her mouth literally watering. She could figure out what to do about the rules later, she decided. She sat down next to Nate, picked the glass up and drained it with a low, pleased rumble as Nate watched, letting out an approving hum. “‘Atta girl.” “Thank you,” she murmured, setting the glass back down and glancing at Nate’s hand. “Do you need stitches?” “Nah. Had a lot worse. I’ll be fine. You probably need some sleep, though…” He glanced at his watch. “It’s 5am. Can, uh, vampires go out in the sun or is that another stereotype, too?” “No…that one is true. Vampirism causes extreme photosensitivity…UV light will burn me.”  Nate stood up. “Okay. I’ll come back later…8pm? We’ll go out to dinner…and find you something you can eat. Wear something nice. Grunge doesn’t suit you.” He closed the space between them, standing next to Audrey for a minute as he looked down at her, a crooked smile tugging at one side of his mouth. “You want a bite before I go? Saw those sharp little fangs of yours when you bit your lip…if you’ve got those, why’d you use a knife on that guy?” Audrey looked down, blushing. “N-no. And…it’s just…more efficient. And not as messy.” Nate snorted. “If you say so. I think there’s probably something to be said for living true to our most authentic selves, and seems like you were born to be a predator…but we can talk more about that some other time. I’ll see you later, Audrey.” Leaning as if he might kiss her, Nate stopped, turned on his heel, and abruptly left, leaving Audrey standing in the middle of the small living room, a little baffled…and maybe a little excited. 

[nctwd127]

Arranged Marriage.

Chapter Five.

Warning: Mentions of miscarriage, a panic attack. (If anyone thinks there’s some I didn’t mention please do let me know.)

Word Count: 3176

When it finally registered in my brain what happened with Yuta, I just sat and starred at the front door. No one has ever put a hand on me, not even my parents. I didn’t know what to say or do or even react.

Before I went back to Doyoung, I went to the bathroom to check my face, a small bruise was being shaped at the top of my cheekbone in the form of four fingertips.

With caution I walked over to Doyoung, who laid limp in bed still. Most of the blood was gone from his lip and top of his eyebrow. I wonder what was going through his head right now. I sighed and got my phone out, I opened up my chat with the boys to let them know how Doyoung was doing.

[Me to My Sons]: We’re home, Doyoung is still out cold. Also Yuta followed me here.

[Chitapurr]: Why did Yuta go?

[Donkey]: Did he do anything to you?

[Me]: He wanted to talk, he helped me get Doyoung inside because I couldn’t alone. I wish I had taken you guys up on coming with me. Would have avoided what happened.   

[Donkey]: You’re making me worry. What happened?

[Chitapurr]: Who do I have to kill?

[Me]: No one Ten, no one. And the conversation didn’t happen, instead we argued, he yelled, I yelled. He slapped me and then he left.

[Chitapurr]: The fact that you say it so nonchalantly makes me angry. Are you okay?

[Donkey]: And you don’t expect Ten to kill someone after you said that?!

[Me]: Please guys, don’t do anything, just let it be. I can’t handle any more than I am right now. Please I am begging you.

[Me]: And yeah, I’m fine. I to be honest, didn’t even register it until like five minutes after he left. I am fine.

[Chitapurr]: F I N E! But I am not okay with this AT ALL! He puts his hands on you or Doyoung again, I’m going to kill him.

[Donkey]: I agree with Ten. We’ll let it slide this time B U T never again (Y/N). We mean it.

[Me]: He’s waking up guys, talk to you later.

[Me]: Love you guys so much, really and truly.

A groan left his lips as he tried to sit but failed in doing so, so he laid down again. I put my phone down and walked over to him. “Hey, don’t strain yourself.” I spoke softly, noticing he didn’t realize I was here. His eyes shot up and he turned his head in the direction my voice came from.

“You’re here.”

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else but here.” I smiled at him as I reached my hand out to help him sit up. Pulling him up carefully in case his head still hurt. “How are you feeling?” I quizzed, handing him the glass of water I had brought over earlier.

“Like shit, my head-” He stopped and starred at my face. Fuck! I forgot to cover the damn bruise on my face. “What happened? Who did this?” he fumed reaching for my cheek, the light touch made me wince and jerk back a little. “Nothing, it’s not a big-“

“Don’t bullshit me, what happened?” He interrupted. I pulled away from him for a moment before I looked at him. This is going to start more problems than there were already. “I’ll tell you but you have to promise me, but really promise and mean it that you won’t do anything please.” I begged. He gave me a hard look but nodded.

“Yuta-” I didn’t even get to start before he got up, huffing. “Of fucking course this was Yuta. What did he do? Actually don’t even tell me. I’m going to kill him.” He raged. I just kind of looked at him for a second, he went through a whole beating and yet he still somehow managed to only worry about me, I smiled at him fondly, even if he was ranting on about wanting to murder Yuta.

“Baby, come on. You promised you wouldn’t do anything.” I reminded him. “I know but still! He put his hands on you!” He complained back. There was no use trying to reason with him but I just can’t have any more problems.

“I know but I’m fine, please, just drop it, I don’t want any more problems please.” I tried to reason with him. “Fine. But if this happens again and for his sake, it better not, I’m going to kill him.” He threatened, just like Hendery and Ten. I was going to miss this so much, the thought of not having this in my life every day like I’m used to hurt so much.

The hours seemed to pass us by as we talked, cried and laughed. Reminiscing about the last four years we spent together. It was all pure magic, nothing ever felt like this did. And now it’s over. It has to be for their future.

It was decided it was time for me to leave his home, my home. I couldn’t cry leaving because if I did, I would never leave. We walked to the door, hand in hand. The air was gloomy and sad. We stopped right in front and looked at each other.

“Well my love, this is where it sadly has to end.” Doyoung spoke so softly, I almost didn’t hear him. “Stop, don’t do that, you’re going to make cry again.” I whispered, feeling the tears want to come up. He pulled me into a long tight hug.

“I love you so much, more than anything, okay? Know you can always come to me. No matter what.”

“I love you so much too, more than anything.”

He opened the door and I stepped out. Something in me wasn’t letting me take that step down the stairs. I turned to him, his watery eyes, meeting mine. I threw myself at him engulfing him in a huge hug, our lips meeting, teeth clashing together at the sheer force of wanting our bodies to be so close together, we could morph into one.  

“I just needed to do that one more time.” I muttered into his neck. He hugged me tight once more before he said words that ripped my heart out of my chest. It becoming almost unbearable to even keep my tears in.

“You need to go (Y/N). You’ll have someone else waiting for you now.”

It killed him to have said those words as much it did me to hear them but he had to be harsh in order to get me to leave because if he didn’t, I wouldn’t hesitate to stay.

I got into my car and drove away. In the review mirror, I saw him weep into his hands as he watched me drive away, to the new person that was waiting for me.

Home isn’t a place. It is a person. And I was leaving home.

Parked two houses down my house, I sat in my car, finally having a well-deserved break down. My sobbing was so unbelievably painful and heavy, I could barely catch my breath. I probably sat in there for thirty minutes, crying and sobbing till it physically hurt. I looked at myself in the mirror, eyes red puffy and swollen. Gathered the bits of my broken self as much I could before walking into my home.

Once I walked in, I saw my parents sitting in the living room, watching television. For the past two days, I have ignored all their calls and text, not wanting anything to do with them. However now I had no choice, as I live with them, for now apparently, until I move in with Yuta.

“Oh my god! There you are! Where have you been? What happened to you?” my mother questioned rushing over to me, once she saw me walk in.

I gave her a deadpanned look, “I was with Doyoung.” My monotone voice made her retreat her hand that was going to caress my face. Her eyes flashed of hurt. But I was too hurt too really care how my tone hurt her.

“Who hit you?” My dad questioned taking my face in is hand to see my bruise better, now that it finally settled, it was more noticeable and purple. “Did Doyoung do this to you honey?”

I moved away from them. “He never has and he never will.”

“Anyways, I’m home now and have ended things with Doyoung. Are you happy now?” I bitterly asked.

My parents looked at each other and then me. “We’re just glad you’re home. I know this is hard for you but please, next time a simple text would help. We were so worried for you, we even had to ask Yuta to go to Doyoung’s house to see if you were there.” The worry in my dad’s voice almost made me feel sorry but then the mention of his name made everything feel bitter again.

I simply nodded and walked away to my room. I just didn’t have it in me to really care or process anything. Before I walked into my room, my mom yelled for me. Walking away from the door and closer to the stairs so I could hear her better. “We put boxes in your room, you need to start packing, you’re moving on Saturday.” I didn’t bother answering her.

This has got to be the second worst week of my life. Honestly, what the fuck? Walking into my room, I just dropped to the floor in tears. I didn’t even make it to my bed before I broke down again. This was entirely too much for me to handle. I sobbed and sobbed till it hurt again and even then I kept crying. I mustered enough energy to crawl into bed, where I cried myself to sleep.

“Your baby didn’t make it.” The doctor spoke. “I’m sorry, what baby doctor?” I stammered, not understanding what was happening, one too many emotions started to fill me at once. I was becoming overwhelmed.

“You were three weeks pregnant…” the doctor looked at me and I think he finally understood what was going on by the look on my face. “You didn’t know… I’m sorry this is how you had to find out Ms. (L/N).” He apologized. “I’ll give you a moment to process this.”

Before he made his way out the door, I called for him. “Please do not mention the pregnancy to my parents please doctor, I beg of you.” I pleaded. He gave me a sympathetic look before agreeing not to tell them.

Once the door closed, I cradled my stomach, not understanding how this happened. I was pregnant and I didn’t even know it.

I lost my baby. I lost a piece of myself and Yuta.

~I didn’t know that I had lost Yuta too, at least not yet. ~

I woke up panting, covered in sweat and breathless, my hands flew to my stomach immediately. There was nothing there. Nothing at all. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach at the realization that the dreams were going to start happening again.

After the accident and having to deal with Yuta not remembering me, the nightmares started. I would scream and cry in my sleep, often so much, some nights I would end up in my parent’s bed, claiming I didn’t remember what it was about but that it just felt terrible. It was always the same thing, the same feeling.   

It lasted for months, my parents even went as far as to get me to see a therapist even if it was considered taboo but I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to bring this out into the real world, I wanted this to stay with me forever, only me.

The baby, the summer before the accident, the story that transpired between Yuta and me. It was the only thing I had left of the Yuta Nakamoto I knew and loved.

Even though we had promised that things were going to stay the same between the four of us, it was hard to maintain that promise when Doyoung stopped coming to school for the remainder of the week.

He wouldn’t answer any of my calls or texts, barely answered the boys. The thought of going to his house to check on him had occurred to me but I knew that going would make things worse for all of us so I refrained from doing so.

I haven’t spoken to Yuta since the slap and he hasn’t made the effort to talk to me either. According to my parents, he was the worried fiancé, making sure I was home the day I came back, as if he hadn’t threatened me to come back or put his hands on me. Disgusting really.

Now it was moving day. I had managed to find time to pack my things despite everything around me going to hell. I wasn’t happy at all and my parents were well aware of it as I had stopped spending time with them and locking myself away in my room whenever I was home.

I barely spoke more than five words to them now. They brushed me off as according to them and Yuta’s parents, it’s what’s best for business. Whatever, all of them can take that bullshit excuse up their asses for all I cared.

Three knocks came from my closed door as I starred at my, now empty room. My once picture covered walls were stripped and naked. My desk empty and ready to be taken with me, my closet empty of all its clothes. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel as empty inside right now.

Upon opening my door, I saw the only two people I could care for right now, Hendery and Ten. “Hey.” I greeted softly. They looked at me with the same sad eyes I had seen all week long.

“How you holding up?” Ten worried as they walked in and closed the door. They were here to help me move the boxes out of here and into my new “home.”

“Okay, I guess. Have you heard from Doyoung?” There was no way I wasn’t going to ask, they knew that. I looked at their faces, as they exchanged worried glances hesitating to answer me.

“What? What happened? Did something happen to him? Answer me.”

“Take a seat (Y/N).” Hendery started looking over at Ten, who slowly nodded. “There’s no easy way to tell you this.” Panic was starting to settle in my veins, my breathing started to pick up quick. “He, well, um.” Hendery paused looking for the right words to say.

“Ten, what happened?” I panicked.

“He slept with someone else. We found her in his house this morning, when we went to see how he was doing.” Ten blurted out, his eyes opening wide when he realized what he said.

The only string that was holding me together, snapped in two. Tears fell fast, the anxiety of everything finally crushed my sanity. Everything was spinning, my breathing elevated way too fast, my chest tighten, and the heat rushed all over my body. My hands were shaking and the tingly feeling traveled to my face and legs.

“Oh my god, (Y/N), what’s happening?” Hendery panicked rushing over to me but I pushed him away, I needed air. “Panic attack.” I could hardly even pant out. Teary eyed, I ran to my door and made my way outside. The fresh air filled my lungs but my panting was still very much heavy.

I hunched over, trying to control my breathing. Tears were running down my cheeks. This was far too much for me to handle. The tingly feeling started to fade and my hands started to unclench.

As I started to settle down, feeling all too lightheaded, I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jolted away from it. I turned and saw it was Yuta, who wore a worried and confused expression. Oh god.

“Get away from her.” I heard Ten yell at him as he walked over to be a barrier between us two, making Yuta back up. “Don’t ever in your life come near her again.”

“Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?” Yuta poked Ten’s chest hard enough to push him back a foot. Ten pushed his hand off and pushed him back. “Don’t provoke me Nakamoto. Because I will drop kick you right here right now. You already have an ass kicking pending for putting your hands on her.”

Yuta took one step forward to stand right in front of him. Just as he was about to say something, Jaehyun and Sicheng came out of Yuta’s house. “What’s going on here?” Sicheng asked walking over to pull Yuta back from Ten.

“Nothing. Just wasting breath on these losers. Let’s finish putting the boxes in the truck.” Yuta ordered looking past them and at me before he walked away.    

“Are you okay enough to go back inside (Y/N)?” Hendery cautioned not wanting to come to close to me again, in case it ticked me off. I gave him a small nod but I felt way too weak so I reached out my hand for him to hold. He took it and led the way back into my home and to my room.

Soon after, Ten came back up as well. An angry and yet worried expression evident on his face. “Are you okay?” He asked, walking over to me and brushing a hair away from my face.

“No. I just… this isn’t what was supposed to happen. He was never meant to be with anyone else. I was never meant to be marry someone else. We were supposed to be together!” I yelled, bursting into tears.

“I don’t know what to say honey, we’re so sorry. Maybe it’ll take a long time before things seem okay, but we’ll be here with you, every step of the way, I promise.” Hendery tried to reassure me.

My heart soared with his reassurance and I was forever grateful for that. I loved the both with my whole heart. Nothing could ever change that or take away from that.

“I love you guys so much. I’ll never have enough words to explain just how much I do.”

Someone came knocking on my door, interrupting our moment. Ten walked over to open it, it was my parents. They said something and he nodded. They left and closed the door. He turned to me and gave me a weak and sympathetic smile.

It was time.

In the matter of one week, I was being ripped away from two homes. One I had known my whole life. The other, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, to love forever and create a future with.

Here was the start of something new. A new home. A new life. A new person to call home.

 Masterlist

[allyouhavetodo]

Let’s Watch The Twilight Zone: Episode Twenty-One

Mirror Image

Ah, the “one about a woman” we were promised last week!

This episode starts off on a dark and stormy night at a bus depot in upstate New York. A young woman is waiting on a bench inside. The bus is late. Over thirty minutes late. She goes up to the man at the counter to ask when the bus will arrive and he gives her a very unhelpful answer about the rain and the bridges and “it will get here when it gets here, lady.” He also takes the opportunity to berate her about her obsessively asking about the time. “I don’t know any more information than the last time you asked! Every 10 minutes you’re up here asking!” But this is the first time she’s asked, she insists.

At this point, she also notices a suitcase behind the counter that is identical to her own. Pay attention to the suitcase. We’ll be talking a lot about the suitcase.

She goes to sit back down and Rod Serling chimes in to introduce us to Millicent Barnes, a 25 year old career woman known as being a “girl with a good head on her shoulders,” practical, not prone to flights of fancy. But, of course, since she’s in the twilight zone, she’s about to be subjected to “a chain of nightmares” that in precisely one minute will start to make her wonder if she’s going mad.

As the voice over ends we get a small piano sting and close up of her suitcase beside her on the ground.

She goes up the to counter man again to ask about the bag behind the counter. “It looks just like mine, down the to broken handle.” His answer is predictable: That is your bag, you ninny! (He doesn’t literally say this--but his tone definitely implies it.) You checked it earlier. Now please stop bothering me. Millicent insists that she didn’t check her bag, that her bag is right back there by the bench. But when she looks behind her, her bag is gone! 

Millicent goes back to sit down. And, just when I’m starting to think there aren’t actually going to be any mirrors in this episode, she decides to go to the bathroom to freshen up. She runs into the cleaning lady in there who asks her if she’s okay, because wasn’t she just in here a minute ago...? No! Millicent starts to leave but turns around to look at herself in the mirror again with the bathroom door standing open and sees both her own reflection and the reflection of a woman who looks just like her sitting back on the bench inside the terminal. She slams the door back behind her and hides for a moment. When she gets the courage to open the door again, the woman is gone but her suitcase is back beside the bench where it belongs.

She sits down again and we start to hear her thoughts out loud. Wondering whether she’s sick or something. Maybe she has a fever, because she’s definitely having delusions. But she doesn’t feel hot or sick. What’s wrong with me?

Just then, a very wet man, who introduces himself as Paul Grinstead, comes and sits right by her. They get to talking after he explains that his taxi ran into a tree and so he had to walk the rest of the way here. Millicent confides that she is moving to Buffalo to start a new job. But also that she thinks she’s been seeing things. She proceeds to tell him everything that just happened in the episode so far.

Paul, to his credit, helps her try to think through it rationally. Maybe there’s someone here who looks a lot like you and that’s what keeps confusing people? But that wouldn’t explain the bag, would it? Hmmmm. No.

Anyway, they wait together until the bus finally arrives. As Millicent is about the board the bus, she sees something that makes her gasp and run back inside the depot. Paul goes after her and as the camera pans over to follow them we see “Millicent” sitting on the bus already, smirking to herself. 

Meanwhile, the real Millicent has full on fainted on the bench back inside and the bus can’t wait for her anymore. Paul decides to stay with her, even though the next bus won’t be here until the morning.

As soon as the bus is gone, Millicent rouses herself and starts ranting about something she read once. About how there are parallel worlds and that we each have a counterpart in the parallel world and sometimes our counterparts come into our world and when that happens they try to take over our lives. The only way they fit into this world is in our places so they have to take over our lives so they can live.

At this point, literally everyone thinks she gone round the twist. The cleaning lady mentions it. The counter man mentions it. Paul offers to call a friend to pick them up and take them somewhere to stay for for the night but it’s all just a cover so that he can call the authorities and get her to go with them quietly. Since he doesn’t manage to trick her he just decides to straight up call the cops. (Not cool, Paul!) And they come and take her away.

Now stranded alone in the bus depot, we see Paul very purposefully put his briefcase down at the end of the bench. (Not another bag!) He then goes to get a drink at the water fountain and when he lifts his head back up, the bag is gone and he glimpses a man just running out the depot door.

Paul gives chase (and here we’re on extremely solid Twilight Zone footing--a white man running and yelling--actually two of them), while his doppleganger runs and grins ahead of him.

Goofy!

Rod Serling cuts in here to remind us that the mind will make up all kinds of obscure explanations for what it doesn’t understand. So parallel universe or insanity, it’s all the same in The Twilight Zone.

---

Not a huge fan of this one. Not a lot happening. And it plays a little too much on the hysterical woman trope. Even though The Twilight Zone is almost always about people running around not knowing what’s going on, this one involved a man calling the cops on a woman and then being instantly proven wrong (not that there’s anything he can do about it now.) Humph. 

[maybeformepersonally]

Fic: Coincidences mean you're on the right path

Title: Coincidences mean you're on the right path Author: maybeformepersonally Rating: G / General Audiences Summary: Dan had been watching Amazingphil since he was a teenager. He never thought they would actually meet, of course, and so he is understandably surprised when Phil walks into the room. Word Count: 4055 Author’s Note: Written for the Phandom Fic Fest Bingo, for the square “Fandom AU”. This is a canon divergence AU where they never met in 2009, and Dan never started making videos or became an internet cult leader. Now, it’s 2018 and they unexpectedly cross paths. Read on AO3

Dan’s had a stressful day at work, to say the least. This, coupled with staying up much later than he should have last night for an impromptu, ill-advised Netflix marathon is almost enough to tempt him into skipping the gym for the day. Almost, but not quite, as he knows he’ll struggle to fall asleep if he doesn’t tire himself out. It’s for a noble cause, he tells himself, and drags himself there, albeit grudgingly.

 He’s in a mood today. It’s the only reason why he’s dragging his feet, really. He knows he’ll get into it as soon as he starts, that’s what always happens. And he understands how crucial exercise is for his mental health. It really has helped a lot since he’d taken it up two years ago. He allows himself a pout and some internal grumbling about it anyway.

 Well, as it turns out, he will never be so grateful for his hard-earned discipline, for if he had caved to temptation, he would have missed out.

 He’s quite at home in the machine room, doing his own thing with headphones on, as usual, jogging on the treadmill, when none other than Phil Lester, a.k.a. Amazingphil, a.k.a. the star of an embarrassingly large amount of Dan’s teenage fantasies (and also an occasional star of a few current ones), struts into the machine room and sits down on the fucking Leg Press Machine directly in Dan’s line of sight.

 Dan barely avoids faceplanting on the treadmill in shock.

 The next thirty minutes are a test to his already frayed nerves that Dan wouldn’t have expected to pass, but somehow he managed to play it cool and he doesn’t stare too obviously (he hopes) nor does he make a complete fool of himself in front of his kind-of-celebrity crush (he thinks), dealing a fatal blow to his self-esteem and ruining one of his favourite places to unwind in one fell swoop.

 They’re both wearing headphones, and he’s still starstruck and a bit shocked that Amazingphil of all people just walked into his regular gym in a tight green t-shirt that brings out his eyes and tight black shorts that bring out… other assets, so he doesn’t even try to strike up a conversation. He’s too nervous, anyway, he’d probably embarrass himself, and then he’d be out of a gym because there is no way he’d come back here if that were to happen. He doesn’t want to have to scope out gyms again, that way lies madness.

 So Dan finishes his set, grabs his things, and he nods to Amazingphil as he leaves. And he doesn’t go hide in the bathroom for a little freak out; he can freak out at home, like a functional adult.

 Now, Dan isn’t the huge fan of youtube he used to be when he was a teenager, but he still follows a few channels religiously. Amazingphil and PhilGAMES are the only ones he has the notifications on for, because he may be a grown man and a professional these days, but Phil still holds a special place in his heart. (So what if he never got over his teenage crush, have you seen Phil’s smile? He’s only human, and there’s nothing wrong with a harmless crush on an unattainable sort-of-celebrity. Sue him.)

 ***

Phil came out officially a few years ago, but it’s been pretty obvious that he was bi from way back on his early days of youtube, so when he tries going to the gym and decides to make a video about what a disaster it was, he doesn’t think twice about going on a rant in the video about how as he was leaving, he saw the most gorgeous man working out and he may or may not have decided to get some exercise on the machines instead of running away because he wanted to stare at this earthly Adonis for a little while.

 “And that’s the story of how I went to the gym, almost died because I was too socially anxious to tell the instructor the workout was too intense for me, went to hide in the bathroom to catch my breath for 15 minutes, then went to run away without saying goodbye, saw the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on and felt compelled to man up, go back to tell Leon that it wasn’t working out for me and that I’d like to try the machines so that I could go at my own pace, then embarrassed myself by being the most unfit person in Britain in front of a fitness god with the face of an angel. But hey, I least I got some exercise in! Also, I may be going again just to see if I run into him again. Not to talk to him, or ask him out, I just want to bask in his beauty. What’s the bi equivalent of a useless lesbian? Because that’s me. Oh, I know! A disaster bi. I’m pretty sure I’ve read that somewhere,” he ends with a laugh.

 “That’s not creepy, right? Is that creepy?” he asks PJ later. PJ laughs at him, but reassures him that so long as he’s respectful and doesn’t stalk this guy or something, it’s fine. And really, Phil probably couldn’t be a creep if he tried. He’s too polite, and also too good a person to actually put his own selfish desires above someone else’s comfort.

 Slightly reassured, Phil goes back to the gym again to try his luck. He wasn’t completely serious in his video, he’s not going to keep going to the gym to stare longingly at this guy. He’s hoping to talk to him at some point, feel him out (metaphorically!) to see if he may be interested. He’s not going to just ask him out out of nowhere, but maybe, if he seems like he might be receptive to it…

***

Dan does have a little freakout as he goes back home, but then life goes on, and he doesn’t see Phil again in the gym for the rest of the week. He figures it’s probably a fluke. Phil has mentioned repeatedly in his videos that’s he’s terribly unfit and that he doesn’t enjoy working out at all, though he’s tried a few times to get into the swing of it. That’s probably what happened, he’s tried it again (it isn’t lost on Dan that it’s the middle of January, and Phil has joked that getting fit is always one of his New Year’s resolutions), but he’ll probably get bored soon.

 The big freakout comes four days after, when he gets a notification that Amazingphil has uploaded a video called “Why I should probably not go back to the gym… but will anyway”. He’s glad he waits until he’s home to watch it, because whatever he was expecting (oh god, will he mention the awkward nerd who almost fell off the treadmill when he walked in and kept sneaking looks at him? Shit, did I make him uncomfortable?), it was not this.

 Phil wasn’t even going to try the machines? He was walking past and saw Dan and stayed to stare at him?? He thought Dan was attractive? Very attractive even? He was thinking of coming back to stare at Dan some more?? Was this even real? Was he just building up a story to make an entertaining video? What was going on? Was this real life? Oh god, he actually goes on a minute-long rant about how gorgeous Dan is and he might have to go scream on a pillow, what is his life. Dan had looked in the mirror when he went home after the awkward gym kind-of-encounter that day; he’d finished an hour long session of exercise and he’d looked it. He was tired and sweaty and he’d worn his too big grey exercise t-shirt that day. He’d looked like the exhausted, emo-adjacent, sweaty rat that he was, what was Phil talking about?

 ***

The next time, Phil tries talking to him. Nothing too ambitious, just some small talk.

He takes his chance when the man stops the machine he’s on and steps away, pulling his headphones off and into his backpack.

“Hey, um, hi,” Phil says and gives a little wave. “Sorry to bother you, I just signed in last week and I was wondering if you’ve been coming here for long?”

 The man looks a bit surprised, but not bothered, to Phil’s relief.

 “Oh, hi. Yeah, a bit over a year?” His phone beeps and he looks at it distractedly, but he keeps talking. “Since I moved in to London, really.” He puts his phone back and turns his attention to Phil again. Phil beams at him.

 “Oh, that’s great!” he maybe sounds a bit too excited about that, but he’s a bit nervous and he’s glad the guy is volunteering information and seems to be okay talking to him. “I don’t know much about gyms, or exercise, as you can see,” Phil joked, waving his right arm to encompass himself, illustrating his unfit condition, “so I thought I’d ask someone for… suggestions, I guess? If that’s okay”.

 The man looks surprised again for a second, but then he looks him up and down appreciatively and once he’s made it all the way up to Phil’s eyes again, he declares, “I don’t know that you need any. I think you look great”.

 Phil is startled into a quiet laugh and he can feel the blush on his face, but he can’t be too bothered given the current situation.

 “I’m Dan,” the man smiles at him, and Phil suddenly feels like a deer in the headlights. Oh god, he has dimples. The humanity. He’s actually a thousand times more attractive when he smiles, how? Phil has the urge to do something stupid. He powers through it, but he’s taken a critical hit, and he probably comes off as extremely weird through the rest of the short conversation. Not that he isn’t weird. He’s made a whole series of youtube videos about it. It’s part of his core branding.

 “I’d be happy to give you some tips, or whatever it is you’re looking for,” Dan starts, then his phone beeps again, and he interrupts whatever he was going to say to check it, again, then sighs. “Sorry, I’d love to help you out right now, but I really need to go… deal with this client.” His phone makes another, different sound, and Phil can see Dan isn’t happy about it, but then he shoves the phone away and when he turns to Phil again, he has a small, shy-looking smile on his face. Phil is a goner.

 “If you want... I come here every day from six to seven or so, except Sundays. If you come around that time, I’d be happy to help you?” The words lift into a question, into an invitation that Phil can take or leave.

 Phil recognises that it’s a very open invitation. If he actually wants help and nothing else, Dan would probably indulge him. If Phil was uncomfortable and didn’t want to run into him again, he now knows what time Dan comes and can plan around it to avoid him. And if he wants something else, like, say, misuse his gym membership card to come flirt with a gorgeous guy he met in the machine room…

 Dan is picking up his stuff, conspicuously giving him some breathing room, and Phil realises he might have come off as uninterested, which is the opposite of what he wants to do now that Dan’s flirted with him first, so he smiles and brings out the bedroom eyes.

 “That’d be brilliant. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

 Phil’s gratified to see Dan looks affected, if the searing look he throws his way is any indication, but after a few seconds, his phone beeps again and he’s moving to leave.

 “Good,” he says, his slightly crooked smile giving Phil ample incentive to stick to his New Year’s resolution for once. “I’ll see you around, then”.

 Now, because Phil is a useless bisexual, it is only at this point that he realises he’s never offered his name, and Dan is turning to leave, so he blurts it out.

 “My name’s Phil, by the way!”

 Dan stops, turns back to him and gives him another one of those devastating smiles, the kind that brings out his dimples, and Phil may be swooning.

 “Phil,” Dan says, less as if he’s trying out the word and more as if he’s relishing in it. “I look forward to seeing you again”. The he turns and actually leaves.

 Phil is left alone in the machine room, staring at the door Dan left through and smiling like a lunatic for the next couple of minutes.

 ***

“Okay, I have a confession to make,” Dan starts before they even open the menus.

 “Okay?”

 “Please don’t take this the wrong way. I just… feel like I need to tell you this if we’re actually going to do this.”

 Okay, now Phil is a little worried, but he’s open to hear Dan out on whatever it is. He really likes Dan an unreasonable amount for how recently they’ve met and how little time they’ve spent together. He’d like to think he’s an open-minded person, and so he quickly decides that he’ll be kind no matter what it is that’s making Dan look this nervous.

 “Okay. I’m listening.” Phil wants to hold Dan’s hand to maybe put him at ease, but he’s not sure if that would help or make things worse, so he refrains.

 “Right. Okay.” Dan takes a deep breath. ”Um. Okay. I… knew your name. That day we talked for the first time. And the time before that, really, when I first saw you in the gym.”

 “Okay?” He doesn’t know what Dan is hinting at.

 “I know who you are, I mean. I’ve known who you are since 2006, when I first became obsessed with Youtube.”

 Oh.

 “Oh.” Phil wasn’t expecting that, but he’s not sure why something like that would make Dan this nervous, so he figures there’s more. When Dan doesn’t elaborate, but rather keeps looking at him in silence, Phil tries to break the ice. “So, you used to watch my videos?”

 Dan relaxes a little as Phil smiles at him. “Yeah. I was a huge fan, actually.” He still looks nervous, so Phil decides to throw caution to the wind and move to hold his hand anyway. When he reaches out and threads their fingers together over the table, Dan gives him a questioning look, but he doesn’t move away. Instead, he moves his thumb to gently rub Phil’s hand, and manages a shaky smile.

 Did he think Phil was going to be upset that Dan liked his videos as a teenager? Or that Phil maybe wouldn’t want to date someone who used to be a viewer? That was crazy. This was actually great, as it meant Dan had to have some idea of what he was getting into, dating a youtuber. It also meant Phil wouldn’t have to explain Youtube to him, or his nosey audience, or why there was a good chance their dates would be interrupted by people asking for a picture with him. The only reason Phil had chosen this restaurant for their first proper date (flirting at the gym didn’t count as proper dates) and had gone for a private room was so that he could get the explanation out of the way before that happened.

 “I don’t mind, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he reassures Dan. “That’s actually really flattering. Though I wonder what I did to lose you as a viewer,” Phil jokes.

 Dan winces and says. “You didn’t.”

 Now Phil’s eyebrows shoot up, but he still doesn’t pull his hand away. It gives Dan the strength he couldn’t seem to gather before.

 “I started watching you early on, and watched you all through college. I used to watch a lot of youtube then. I gradually stopped watching Youtube as a whole when I graduated and got a job, as a result of a mixture of lack of time and waning interest, but there’s a few channels I still check out every once in a while. Yours is among them.”

 Phil squeezes his hand reassuringly, and grins. “Do you follow my social media accounts?”

 “Um. Yeah. Instagram.”

 Phil grinned warmly, “Really? So you like looking at me. Good to know.”

 Dan made an embarrassed little noise of protest, but he couldn’t really argue. “You’re nice to look at.” He was blushing a little, but he was also looking him in the eye now, shy but determined. Phil got distracted by the little rosy patch that formed right over his jaw.

 “Do you follow me on twitter? Or on Tumblr? Do you troll the IDB forums?” Phil is full on teasing him now. It seems highly unlikely that Dan is one of his most invested fans; in fact, the idea is kind of hilarious. And also kind of hot. He might revisit that idea later. In private.

 Dan laughs, “No, and no, and I don’t even know what that last one is, do I want to know?”

 “It’s a fan forum. It’s… very comprehensive. There’s a lot of information and speculation going on there. You know, actual fandom stuff.”

 Dan scoffs at that, but he’s still smiling, so Phil counts it as a win. “I’m not in the fandom. Ha, I wouldn’t have even had the time for it until recently, with the way I let work take over my life. Just… you know. I watch your videos.”

 “And you follow my Insta,” Phil reminded him.

 “Okay, that too.”

 “Is that why you watch my videos? Because you think I’m ‘nice to look at’?” Phil teases.

 “Well, I mean, that certainly helped,” Dan answers candidly, and damn it, now it’s Phil’s turn to blush. “But I wouldn’t have kept watching if you weren’t also hilarious. You’re just fun to watch, you know?”

 Phil is thinking this is all immensely cute when it dawns on him what his next to last video was. “Oh no. Oh no, god, you still watch my videos.” His hand is gripping Dan’s like a lifeline in mortification.

 “Yeah…?”

 “Mfph,” Phil says from behind his other hand. Which he is trying and failing to hide behind. His right hand hasn’t even tried to let go of Dan’s, so Dan doesn’t panic. Mostly.

 “You saw my video, didn’t you? The gym video? Where I go on and on about how fit you are?”

 “Yep;” Dan answered cheekily.

 Phil moaned in embarrassment behind his hand and Dan laughs. It sounds about as beautiful as he is, which is saying a lot. Okay, Phil may be a bit smitten, but he thinks he has reason to be, all things considered.

 “Instant favourite. How do you think I managed to find the guts to flirt with you?”

 At that, Phil peeks out of his hand.

 “I wasn’t sure if you even meant it, but. I mean, I know you must exaggerate or even make up part of your stories to make them entertaining for an audience. But. I mean, you did go on for about two minutes about how gorgeous I was, so,” Dan laughs a bit under his breath and Phil is so charmed he finally pulls his hand away from his face. “I figured I probably had a chance if you ever showed up in the gym again.”

 “I meant it,” Phil tells him. The way Dan is looking at him, joy and affection and attraction (a look that would later be dubbed ‘Heart Eyes Howell’ by Phil’s fans), prompts Phil to admit “...I actually had to reshoot that because I went on quite the lengthy rant about it the first time. And then I had to cut some of it from the take you did see, so that it wouldn’t jar the flow of the video.”

 Phil is blushing again, but Dan looks thrilled, so he doesn’t mind too much.

 ***

 Amazingphil posted “Life Update! Amazing Boyfriend? (Not Clickbait)”

 “Hi guys! So, a lot of people have been asking about this on twitter - *zoom in* and everywhere else *laughs, zoom out* so I thought I’d let you know what’s been going on in my life.

 Yes, I’m dating someone. Yes, it’s a guy. Yes, I’m very happy about it and you all should be grateful I have some self-control because if I had immediately given in to the urge to gush about him, you’d all be sick of it by now. *laughs*

 So, anyway! In this video, I’ll tell you a little about how we met, and I think some of you will be pleasantly surprised to find out that I’ve actually mentioned him before in a past video.

 Remember when I said this? [clip of the gym video where he talks about how his struggles in the gym led him to stumbling upon the Most Beautiful Man In The World.]

 Weeeell… *looks to the side*

 I did go back, as it turns out, and I didn’t see him again. But I was already there, so I might as well do some exercise, right? So I did, and nothing happened, and I came back home tired and sore and slightly disappointed.

 But then! The next time I went, I caught him just as he was finishing his, like, workout day, or whatever it is that people who exercise regularly call it, and I thought to myself, ‘Phil. This is your chance. Just talk to him. Make some small talk. No pressure, just some casual human interaction. Just a chill talk with the most attractive man you’ve ever seen in your life. Nothing to be nervous about! *laughs, closes his eyes and shakes his head at himself*

 So, I give myself a little pep talk, I pluck up my courage, and I. Go. Talk to him! *celebratory music*

 And what does he do? *Phil enunciates, giggly* What does he do as I start talking to him, just trying to set up a friendly, relaxed atmosphere? Just opening up the lines of communication, you know, some casual bants? Do you know what he does? He immediately, shamelessly, flirts with me. *Phil laughs again*

 I was… shook.

 So, we talked a little but then he had to go - which I was actually grateful for because by that time I was freaking out internally and I didn’t want to make a complete fool of myself - but! We arranged to meet again, in the gym.

 And the next time we did meet, I asked him out. On an actual date, not just… hanging out in the gym so that I had to awkwardly try not to embarrass myself as I work out in front of him even though I’m terrible at it.

 So, long story short, we’ve been dating since then. *celebratory music*

 So now you know. I am officially dating the Most Beautiful Man In The World.

*soft background music stops* Not even kidding, he’s the most attractive person I’ve seen in my life. It’s kind of surreal.

 *music resumes*

 So! I know some of you guys have been asking to meet him, as it were, and I have good news for you! I will be making a video with him soon, probably in the next week, so look out for that! Also, *zoom in* be nice to him, please, he’s wonderful and I’m really happy he’s in my life. Let’s not drive him away, yeah! *laughs*

 *zooms out* I’m kidding! He knows you’re all crazy, I told him all about you guys. And he seems ready to adopt you all anyway, so that’s alright. The poor bastard. 

 Anyway, that’s it for today! I hope you all have a great day! Please press like if you liked the video, I actually want to know if you guys enjoy this type of casual life update... talk-type thing and if I should make more of these. Click the subscribe button if you want to see more of me, and click the notification bell to be told when I post a new video! Check out my gaming channel! And I’ll see you guys soon! Byeee!”

[kilroy-lucy]

And if you wanna call me up or come over Come on, we'll laugh 'till we cry Like we did when we were kids 'Cause we can't keep holding on to grudges

��Why would you do that? What’s wrong with you? Do you seriously just do things that you know are going to piss me off? This is insane. I’m not doing it anymore. I won’t do it.” 

Clothes were flying across the studio room as Lucy and her mom argued. There were days like this every once in awhile, when the two of them butted heads over a decision, more so since Blair had decided to give Lucy a bigger role in the company, which she thought was only fair since her name was the first moniker in the name anyway. 

Currently, they were in the middle of setting up for a photoshoot for the new line of clothes that Lucy had the biggest hand in since starting to work with her mom and she was proud of it and she knew that Blair liked it too, which gave her an even bigger sense of accomplishment because her mom was so damn picky and hard to please. And it wasn’t like designing clothes and running a label was something that Lucy had always been super interested in, but with the artistic ability she had gotten from her dad, she was able to sketch out designs in the way her mom couldn’t, which only provided better results for the company. 

So now, when her mother had decided that Lucy could be the one to model the clothes for the website, she was more than happy to do it. However, what her mom failed to tell her was that she had also hired another model. Ruby. 

“Calm down, Lucy. It’s not that big of a deal.” Blair rolled her eyes as she looked her daughter in the eyes. Lucy hated that they were the same height sometimes. She wished, just to be that much more of a pain her mom’s ass that she could look down on her at moments like this. But they were equals, in many ways. Equally stubborn, equally opinionated, and equally as bratty when it came to fights and temper tantrums. At least, that’s what her dad had always said. 

She couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to do it. But all that she had left in response was to let out an exasperated scream in Blair’s face before running off to the dressing room to change into her first outfit. She didn’t want to be out there when Ruby came in and she honestly didn’t even know if Ruby knew she’d be there too, let alone actually working right next to her. The only saving grace was that Jack had been taking the pictures of the models since the revamp of the website, so she’d have him to ease the tension - which had been particularly worse since the reveal of her marriage to Ian. 

It’s not that Blair had brought it up to talk about it, because she hadn’t and Lucy was pretty sure she never would, but she was pretty sure that she wasn’t happy about it. And even though she really wanted to have that fight, if only so she could tell them that they way that they got married was no better than what she did. Which was very true, but she knew that they’d find some way to justify them doing it, but with her it was out of the question. 

A few minutes went by before she heard a knock at the door, one of the assistants letting her know that they were going to do some solo shots. She stormed out of the room to the set, giving her brother a grim smile as she stood in front of him. He tried to crack jokes to get her to smile, but she just wasn’t having it. Especially not when she saw Ruby strutting across the room, avoiding eye contact with her. And that’s how the day went on. The two of them avoided each other, barely even looking towards the other one. And when it came time for both of them to be in the pictures, it was like two stiff mannequins standing near each other. 

It wasn’t until they were taking a break that Lucy overheard her mom on the phone. Normally, she probably would’ve eavesdropped regardless, but she heard her name and was even more interested in listening in. It was then that she realized that her mom was on the phone with her dad, talking about her and Ian and that threw Lucy off the edge. She stormed to the bathroom, wiping tears from her eyes as she stared at herself in the mirror. The fact that she’d disappointed them, especially her dad, ate at her. It wasn’t fair that despite the fact that she was an adult who could make her own decisions, that they got to be this mad at her for something she did while she was drunk. They treated it as if she got divorced everything would go back to how it was, but it wouldn’t have changed the fact that it happened. Was it crazy? Yeah, it was and even she knew that it was. But the way she saw it was that if they got divorced and ended up staying together, what was the point? A bunch of money lost and a divorce for nothing? Just because they’d gotten a divorce before, didn’t mean that she had to. 

Moments later, the door to the bathroom bursted open and Ruby flew in, launching herself at the toilet before heaving into it. Lucy stood there in shock watching her do it, mostly kind of pissed at herself for not locking the door, but also because this was the first time in months that they’d been in a room with no one else and one of them was throwing up.  

“Oh my god,” Lucy covered her mouth and nose, stepping closer to Ruby. Despite the fact that they weren’t friends anymore, now being in the same room with Ruby being sick, she still felt that sense of being an older sister figure to her. Twisting Ruby’s hair back from her face and holding it out of the way, Lucy rubbed her shoulder. When all was said and done and Ruby sat back against the wall by the toilet, wiping her mouth with a wet napkin that Lucy handed her, the silence took over the small room. 

“Are you okay?” Lucy stood against the wall across from her, arms crossed, trying to get a read on Ruby. When all Ruby did was shake her head yes, it hit her. “Is this what you do now? Throw up on photoshoot sets? What kind of model shit is that?”

It made her angry to think about Ruby being so far into the modeling industry now that she’d find herself throwing up in the bathroom during photoshoots. Ruby was always healthy and her body was great as it was and she was too young to do that to herself. 

“Whoever’s making you feel like you need to do this is an asshole, okay? Your body is fine the way it is, you know that. This modeling shit is stupid and you don’t need to be ruining your teeth for a job. Do you know how much damage it actually does? Do you want to get all your teeth removed and have dentures before you’re thirty? Because you’re better than that, you don’t need...” 

“Shut up.”

“...to be ruining your lif- Wait, what?”

Taken aback at Ruby telling her to shut up, Lucy stumbled over her words before getting even angrier. But as she took a deep breath to start ranting again, Ruby cut her off with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not bulimic, Lucy.”

Immediately, Lucy felt regret, but also confusion until she really studied Ruby’s expression. “You’re not...” 

Ruby didn’t need to say anything after that, the tears in her eyes were enough to confirm what Lucy was asking. Despite everything they’d been through, Lucy flew to the other side of the room and crouched down beside her old best friend, wrapping her arms around her in a hug. It took a moment for Ruby to reciprocate, but when she did, she did it with a sob and Lucy’s heart broke for her. 

“You’re sure?” Ruby nodded. “And you know whose it is?” A reluctant nod, giving Lucy time to piece it together. I’m going on a date... It’s Ruby. Whatever. “Does Harry know?” There was no nod this time, just crying and so she let it go. There were times that being there for her family were the most important, but Ruby was and had always been her family too and because of everything that had happened, she needed to be there for her first right now and she could deal with the Harry part later. So she let Ruby cry for a few minutes as she hugged her, sitting right there next to the toilet in the bathroom of the studio. 

When the crying got quieter and the silence started back up, Lucy almost let go. 

“I heard your mom talking to your dad on the phone.” 

Lucy paused. 

“You and Ian are married?” 

This time, it was Lucy’s turn to nod.

“To be honest, I always thought I’d be the first one to get married and you’d be the one that got pregnant.” 

Forgetting the situation they were in, Lucy bursted out in laughter, because Ruby had a good point and it was something that she’d really missed about her. Ruby was often the more sentimental one, the more open to being emotional in front of other people, but she had a great sense of humor and knew how to diffuse tough situations and Lucy hadn’t realized how much she missed that. She missed Ruby. So she told her. 

There was a second of silence and she was afraid that Ruby was going to tell her off, but she didn’t. She watched as a smile formed on the blonde’s lips, and an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness game over her.

“Truce?”

“Truce.”

[ellanainthetardis]

Do you know flangs? It’s like fluff and angst all in once... ;)

[ff] or [ao3)

Chapter 52 :  Whatever The Cost

Chaff Mitchell was the best friend one could ask for���

Haymitch’s grey eyes darted away from the small card, resting on every piece of furniture in their compartment instead of on the words written in Effie’s flowery handwriting. Eventually, at long last, they fell on her. From his position lying on the bed, he had a good view of her. She was sitting at her dressing table, her blond hair pinned up in one of those quick-made distracted buns that left a few strands curling along her otherwise bare nape… She was still wearing her pink silky jumpsuit and that belt made of golden coins that clang together every time she moved. She was scribbling on her notepad, sometimes cross-referencing with one of the numerous sheets of paper spread in front of her…

He wasn’t sure if she was checking schedules or working on more speeches.

He had left her in charge of that, deciding that she had done a good job at writing speeches that didn’t scream rebellion the previous year. They needed to promote Panem unity still, to put the stress on the Capitol’s generosity… It made him sick to his stomach but that was how it had to be.

She had her own role to play in that anyway. She was delegating, he had noticed that morning, when they had gotten ready to shoot what would essentially be the Tour’s launch. Alys had apparently taken the role of a glorified assistant. He wasn’t sure how the former singer felt about that but she had yet to complain. The girl seemed too much in awe of being there to complain anyway. Trust the Gamemakers to pick up naïve drones who believed in the glory of the Capitol and admired victors like the heroes they were supposed to be.

Effie couldn’t be behind the camera crew staff or on the prep team’s back as much as she would have liked – and how happy he had been to see his old friend Coralus again, if he lived through that Tour without punching the man Haymitch would declare himself lucky – because she had to be there with him. It wasn’t quite a star-crossed lovers act they were playing and it couldn’t be like Katniss and Peeta the previous year. It had to be subtler, more natural.

He had gotten out of his house alone, for instance, looking overjoyed with the prospect of the Tour. He had clasped Peeta’s shoulder with enthusiasm when he had met the boy in the Village’s streets, they had exchanged a few words… He had shaken Undersee’s hand, had received the Mayor’s congratulations and good wishes for the trip…

They were supposed to do a quick sweep around Twelve, his favorite spots, a few anecdotes… That had been when Effie had walked on stage, looking radiant in that silky pink jumpsuit thing – because, according to Harwyn her outfit at the Crowning had apparently launched a trend – and her fur coat. She had mostly chided him so he would remain on tracks and not ramble on about something that would be considered boring for a Capitol audience. The banter was what people would want to see anyway.

He had stolen a kiss at some point, pretending to try and be sneaky about it, pretending he didn’t intend at all for the cameras to catch it…

The relief he had felt once they were all on the train and on their way to Eleven had been short lived.

First, Effie had insisted on briefing them all in the living-room. She had distributed schedules and had made a quick summary of what to expect in the following weeks – she, he and Peeta were all well experienced in that by then but Harwyn and the new escort weren’t. By the time she had been done ranting about security details, schedules and what she expected of each of them, Haymitch had been craving a strong drink. She lectured Peeta at length because he would have to be seen with various mentors and should, she insisted, stress at any opportunity how much he was still grieving Katniss – that was actually his idea, to make the boy less appealing to any grabby Capitol.

Then, she had turned to him and he hadn’t really needed her to tell him how he was supposed to act or how exactly she fitted in the picture but he had figured it had more to do with keeping the others in the loop. He and Effie were so gifted at reading each other they didn’t always discuss things out loud because it was obvious to them.

Alys had seemed pleasantly surprised at being given responsibilities – small things like making sure Peeta knew the names of the victors they would meet in each District or helping Effie check on the rest of the staff, prep teams and cameras crew, so they wouldn’t slack on the job. Haymitch wasn’t sure how he felt about the new escort yet, he tended to dismiss and ignore her, resentful of anyone who would take Effie’s place. Peeta had been a bit cautious around her but friendly for the most part, which seemed to have sent the girl in hysterics because she was apparently his biggest fan.

Harwyn had been told he needed to present every of Haymitch’s outfits to her for approval – which, admittedly, hadn’t pleased the stylist at all but he had grumbled his assent all the same.

It had been a long briefing and dinner had been a welcomed distraction. At least until the silence at the table had become far too uncomfortable. Haymitch had been trying hard not to compare it to the previous year, to the easy conversations, to Cinna, Portia and Katniss… At long last, Effie had remarked on the weather, something Alys had jumped on with apparent relief and the Capitols had kept on most of the chatter from then on.

Peeta had remained silent.

Haymitch had pretended he couldn’t see the resentful glares the boy was sending him.

Everyone had wandered their own way as soon as dessert had been cleared. Effie had begged off to check they were still on schedule and Haymitch had gone back to their room, knowing he needed to do his homework.

He had read the part of the speech about Seeder three times and had it memorized well enough that he wouldn’t need to stare at the cards the next day. Chaff now…

Chaff Mitchell was the best friend one could ask for…

He didn’t think Seeder had any family but Chaff… How was he supposed to look his sister in the eyes when he was the one who had killed her brother? How was he supposed to stand there and call Chaff his best friend when it was his knife that had ended his life?

He could feel it still. The weight of Eleven’s victor in his arms as he fell.

“Say, you fancy a bath?” he heard himself ask.

Effie looked up at him in the mirror, blinking a little. “A bath.” she repeated, glancing back at whatever it was she was doing.

“Yeah.” he shrugged. “We could share.”

She watched him for a few seconds and then fought a smile. “You are aware you are allowed to take a bath without me, right?”

But he never did. Cause she had the good stuff that relaxed muscles and it was one thing to climb in a bathtub full of girly perfumed things with her but it was completely another to do it by himself. He hadn’t been in the Capitol for long enough that he thought it okay to soak in pink water that smelt of cotton-candy by himself yet.

“It’s only fun if you’re in the tub, sweetheart.” he lied.

She pursed her lips a little in a way that told him she knew exactly what he was thinking but she abandoned her papers to stand up. “As long as you take those cards with you and learn your speech…”

He tried to focus on the words while she got the bathroom ready but the part about Chaff refused to sink in.

Chaff Mitchell was the best friend one could ask for…

It wasn’t a really long passage of the speech. He supposed she had kept it short on purpose. Instructions as to what they should say about fallen victors had been vague. Pay tribute, Heavensbee had told her, but don’t wallow. It was a good compromise of that. But it was still too personal, too close, too…

She walked out of the bathroom, make-up free, and tossed the golden belt on the stool in front of her dressing table before coming to stand next to the bed, her back turned to him, her meaning clear. He discarded the cards to the side and sat up with his legs on either side of her to unzip the jumpsuit, pressing a distracted kiss at the small of her back while he was at it. He also unclasped her bra but he didn’t try to take it further.

The day had been too long and he wasn’t really in the mood for that.

She placed the jumpsuit in the clothes hamper and sauntered back in the bathroom naked as the day she was born, making him snort at her lack of reserve. He liked that, in truth. He was slower in getting out of his clothes. The jacket and the waistcoat, he had gotten rid of as soon as they had been back on the train, but the shirt asked him for focus because his fingers weren’t quite steady.

By the time he joined her in the bathroom, with the speech he needed to learn, she was already lounging in the bath. The water was a bright turquoise blue and it smelled of some flower he couldn’t put a name on. She leaned forward long enough for him to sit behind her.

The bathtub wasn’t as spacious as the one at her place or at the penthouse but they made it work. She leaned against his chest, between his legs, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, holding up the cards with his free hand.

For a moment he pretended to read the speech but every time he got to that sentence…

Chaff Mitchell was the best friend one could ask for…

“Walk me through the schedule again.” he requested, not quite managing to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

“We should arrive around ten in the morning.” she said immediately, good enough not to remind him she had been distributing code-colored schedules earlier that day. “We will all get ready, you particularly. Speeches are scheduled for noon. Hopefully there won’t be any… incidents this time and it should be wrapped in thirty minutes. You will have a quick lunch with Eleven’s victors who will then take you on a tour of the District. It will be short. A stroll through the orchards, the sampling of a few fruits – it would be good for you to hand me one at that point so I can exclaim about how much we love Eleven’s fruits in the city and how grateful we are for the labor they’re doing here – then some children will come fetch you and explain to you how it all works. It shall all be very charming. Peaceful. After that, we will go back to the Justice Building to change for the evening. The mayor will do a short speech, you will thank him for his hospitality and then… Well, I trust you to behave during dinner. After that we will come back on the train and we will leave for Ten around one in the morning.”

He closed his eyes and let his head rest against the edge of the tub.

He had done all of that once already. The Tour was always more or less the same, aside from the previous year. He figured if they were back to touring the Districts, it meant that the riots had really been crushed. He didn’t know how he felt about that. Without Thirteen’s support it was a lost cause and would have only led to people dying in vain but…

And the orchards… How was he supposed to stroll in the orchards where Katniss had been killed?

“What about the families?” he asked.

“The families will be present for the speeches.” she told him even though he knew that. He was behaving like a new victor instead of a seasoned one. He knew all that. He knew everything there was to know. “I can probably arrange a meeting if you so wish. I would advise against channeling your inner Peeta and going rogue by offering half your rations.” It was a joke but it wasn’t very funny and she grew serious very quick. “More generally, Haymitch, stick to the cards. I mean it.”

The warm water and whatever bath salts she had put in it were slowly making his muscles relax but he still couldn’t shake the tension. “What if I choke?”

That was the worst thing that could happen.

He was a Quell victor – two times Quell victor. He was the new Capitol darling. He was supposed to be a paragon of strength, the Districts’ champion. If he faltered…. If he showed weakness… If he hinted he wasn’t as grateful or happy with the Capitol as he pretended to be… If they smelt the blood… He didn’t want to become the new Mockingjay. He didn’t want to become the new martyr the Districts would rally around. He didn’t want to be responsible for more senseless death.

“Read the speech to me.” she suggested. “Read it until you can say it without any hesitation.”

So he did.

And every time he came to the part about Chaff, his throat closed and it was impossible to hide the emotion in his voice. It made him angry and frustrated.

“It isn’t a bad thing.” she promised, running her nails up and down his forearm in something that shouldn’t have been as soothing as it was. “Everyone knows you and Chaff were close. It would seem far more suspicious if you didn’t show any emotion. Just… Make sure you are in control. If you feel it is too much, pause and breathe.”

Pause and breathe.  

“I want you with me.” he said. “Up there on that stage. I… I want you with me.”

She winced, straining her neck to look at him. “I need to be backstage with Peeta. I cannot trust him to handle everything on his own. It is only his first year as a mentor and…”

“He and that singer need to learn anyway.” he shrugged. “You can make sure she knows what to do. It’s good. This way we’ll see if we can trust her to do something right.”

“Alys is really not the worst replacement they could have chosen.” Effie sighed, a little chiding. She had taken a liking to the girl, he had noticed. “They could have sent another Viola, you know.”

He made a face. “Oh, shit, is that bitch gonna be there?”

Escorts didn’t always make the trip to their respective District for the Tour, they only did on orders mostly, when Games had been particularly successful and everything needed to go without a hitch.

“It is likely, yes.” she grumbled. “This is a Quell Tour after all. They will want everything supervised. I will have to coordinate with her at some point.” She let out a long suffering sigh and sank further down until her chin was right over the water line. “Wouldn’t it defy the purpose anyway? If I stand there with you… Wouldn’t it look like the Capitol is breathing over your shoulder?”

“You’re not the Capitol, you’re my wife.” he scoffed. Not that they knew that. He rolled his eyes. “Girlfriend. Whatever they call it.”

He hated it when they called her his girlfriend. They weren’t sixteen years old to call each other girlfriend and boyfriend.

“I am also your escort.” she objected. “And I do not think we should take that sort of initiatives. There is a protocol, we should follow it.”

She was right probably.

But…

“I’m gonna choke.” he muttered, fatalistic. He just knew it.

“No, you won’t.” she coaxed, reaching behind her for his neck. He kissed the inside of her wrist just because it was close to his face. “You are used to this, Haymitch. It is no different than going on Caesar’s show and talking about our dead tributes. It is no different than the countless red carpets you went to. It is no different than waving and smiling for the cameras outside the Center.”

But it was.

Because there were no more friends to make fun of it with afterwards, to make less a big deal of it than it was.  

And it was their blood on his hands.

“It’d be easier if you were with me.” he sulked. “You’re good at stealing the spotlight.”

“And I will gladly steal it as much as I can to spare you during the rest of the day but I am afraid for the speeches you have to be on your own.” she said gently. “If worse comes to worse, simply read. Do not look up, do not look at anyone, just read.”

He shook his head. “It needs to be genuine.”

“Do not worry.” she tried to reassure him.

“It’s not me I’m worried about.” he snapped. It was her who would pay the price if someone got it into their head to attack a Peacekeeper in his name. Or if she went around punching more Peacekeepers… He tossed the cards aside and cradled her injured hand in his. She had renounced wearing the bandage that morning, claiming it dampened her style. She was avoiding using her thumb but he didn’t think it was serious. “Don’t do anything reckless, yeah? Best behavior, Effie. Promise me.”

“That you would request that of me is laughable.” she snorted but rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t be able to hit anyone else with that hand anyway, do not fret. It was just that man… He irked me so. From the very first time I saw him…” She shook her head. “He whipped you.”

She rarely stated it so plainly. There was so much pure hatred in her voice… It contrasted with the love she always showed when she kissed his scars.

“We don’t go for revenge.” he told her seriously. “We can’t afford it. We stay alive. That’s all we can do. We stay alive. We keep the boy alive and as safe as we can. We stay alive. Whatever the cost.”

They had gone too far now.

They might as well go to the end of the road.

She rested her head more firmly against his chest. “Rehearse the speech again.”

He let out a deep breath but started talking anyway, reciting most of it from memory, making up what he was forgetting.

He would need to get it right the next day.

He didn’t have a choice.

He had to get through it.

“Chaff Mitchell was the best friend one could ask for…” he gritted through clenched teeth.

… and Chaff Mitchell would have kicked his ass if he ever got his girl killed just because he couldn’t say Eleven’s victor’s name without flinching in guilt and sorrow.

[botanistlester]

Sweet Pea (9/34)

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath. Warnings: Abusive relationship, violence A/N: Hello friends! SURPRISE UPDATE! I'm not gonna be home tomorrow so I decided to upload today instead!  As you can see from the chapters, I have officially mapped out the rest of Sweet Pea and it is going to be 33 chapters long! This IS subject to change, just in case a chapter gets too long that I have to split it in half, but I'm just excited to know the estimated count now! This is gonna be a wild ride since I'm currently finishing up writing chapter 17! Anyways, the song at the beginning is Degausser by Brand New. Thanks to @snowbunnylester and @littlelionsloves for editing this! Love you all! Previous | Masterlist

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Chapter Nine

Take me back to your bed. I love you so much that it hurts my head. I don't mind you under my skin. I'll let the bad parts in.

-

When Nico first told Phil that he wanted Phil to come to his mum’s house with him, Phil was beyond excited. He hadn’t really spoken to Nico’s mum before, other than those few times she’d called while Phil was with him, and he was excited to finally meet the woman who’d raised the man of his affections.

It was a two hour long train ride, and Phil ended up falling asleep, his head against Nico’s shoulder and his hair in his face. Nico let him sleep, opting to listen to music the entire ride there.

He woke Phil when they came to their stop, holding his hand as they walked through the crowd together. Phil was tired, rubbing at his groggy eyes and cringing because he’d fallen asleep with his contacts in and that was never comfortable.

They called a cab from the train station, and it was another thirty minutes before they finally arrived at the house. When they pulled up, Phil could hardly contain his nervousness, a ball of angry bees beginning to swirl around in his stomach. Phil tightened his grip on Nico’s arm and Nico kissed him on the cheek, murmuring that they should start to head inside.

The house wasn’t giant or anything. It had a pretty garden out front with a rosebush by the front door. It was made out of white brick and had blue window shutters. The curtains were open, and Phil could see movement on the inside. There was a doormat with paw prints that said “wipe your paws!” and a decoration of a black and white cat hanging from the door.

“Oh no,” Phil said. Nico paused, giving him a questioning look. “Is your mum a crazy cat lady? I’m allergic to cats.”

Nico chuckled and nodded, beginning to tug Phil inside again. “She is, but don’t worry, we have some allergy medication if you need it. We only have one cat right now, and I’m sure you’ll love him.”

Phil hesitated a moment at the words. He didn’t think Nico quite understood just how bad his allergy could get, but he let it go anyway. Nico didn’t wait for Phil’s reply to drop Phil’s hand and push the front door open.

Almost immediately, a woman was flinging herself at Nico, and Phil laughed in surprise as she hugged the life out of him. Nico made a choking noise and whined, pushing her away. “Mom! You’re suffocating me!” he exclaimed, but he was smiling as wide as the woman was, looking at her with such love that Phil was almost jealous for a moment.

“Sorry, sorry,” she apologised, turning to Phil with an equally as large smile. She held her hand out and Phil took it, shaking it delicately.

He couldn’t help but notice how similar Nico looked to his mum. They both had the dark curly hair and the green eyes. The only difference was that she didn’t have the freckles that Phil loved so much. “I assume you’re Phil. It’s so nice to finally meet you! I’m Nico’s mom, Yvette.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Yvette,” Phil murmured, smiling brightly. He noticed the way that her eyes flit back and forth between Nico and himself, a question in her eyes. Phil knew what she was wondering; if they were a thing, if they were dating. He started to smile, preparing himself mentally for Nico to introduce him as his boyfriend.

However, Nico didn’t mention anything about them dating. In fact, he followed up their introduction with an explanation that Phil was ‘just a friend’. Phil wouldn’t say the words, couldn’t, not until Nico told her himself, although he couldn’t help but feel the disappointment run rampant through his stomach.

Her eyes lingered on him for a moment longer until Nico dragged Phil away, introducing him to his little brother, Ezra. Again, he introduced Phil as his friend, and Phil just nodded and smiled and didn’t say anything because it wasn’t his place to say it. Still, he couldn’t help thinking - hadn’t Nico said he’d wanted Phil to meet his mum?

Ezra was a nice boy, only ten years old and overly hyper. He immediately took a liking to Phil, grabbing his hand and showing him around his room in an excited stupor. He showed Phil his Overwatch shrine and ranted about it for ten minutes, then proceeded to drag Phil all throughout the house, talking nonstop about what his favourite things were. It was endearing, and Phil didn’t have the heart to tell him to quit it. Besides, he liked Ezra anyways, liked the excitement that bounced off him in waves, how he was so optimistic about meeting a new friend.

Nico was quiet beside them. He smiled when Phil looked at him, but he otherwise didn’t say a word. He didn’t touch Phil, hardly even glanced at him. He was staring at his phone and texting, ignoring Phil’s questioning gaze. Wasn’t he happy that Phil was getting along with his family so well? And who was so important that he couldn’t stop texting them right then?

“-And this is our swimming pool!” Ezra concluded, throwing open the back door and ushering Phil outside.

Phil saw Nico tense out of the corner of his eye, but he ignored it in favour of gasping at the sight. “Wow, that’s one awesome pool!” Phil exclaimed.

Truth be told, it wasn’t anything special. It was an above-ground pool that was disguised by the porch. A few pool noodles floated in it as if they were waiting to be played with. But he’d said it was a big deal because he knew that’s what Ezra wanted to hear.

“Wanna go swimming with me?” Ezra asked suddenly, yanking on Phil’s hand. There was such excitement in his eyes that Phil just couldn’t resist. He opened his mouth to say yes when Nico’s voice stopped him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Nico said. There was a tone to his voice that Phil didn’t quite understand, something dark, something stiff. It was a tone that screamed that he didn’t want Phil to go swimming no matter what it took.

Ezra scoffed and glared at his brother, crossing his arms over his chest. “You always ruin the fun, Nico. Why isn’t it a good idea? I’m sure mom would want our guest to swim.”

“He doesn’t even have a swimsuit, Ezra. What’s he going to do, swim naked?”

“Nico, you’re aware that he could wear some of dad’s swim shorts, right?” A voice asked from behind them.

The three twirled around to find Yvette smiling fondly at them. She gestured Phil over to her, and Phil had no option but to oblige. “Let’s find you some, okay? That way you boys can have a little bit of fun.”

Phil glanced at Nico and winced. His eyes were dark and brooding, and his jaw was tight, telling him to say no.

Phil didn’t know why it was such a big deal, but he knew that Nico didn’t like it when Phil showed off his body. He belonged to Nico, after all, and nobody else was supposed to look at him. “No, no. That’s okay, you really don’t have to-”

“Oh, don’t be silly, hun. Just follow me.”

Yvette led Phil inside, and Phil didn’t dare look at Nico again. He was shook to his core, his hands beginning to shake and sweat beginning to pool on his skin. He didn’t want Nico to be mad at him. The last time Phil went around showing his body off, Nico had torn his favourite shirt. He didn’t want a repeat of that. Besides, he didn’t want to make Nico feel jealous. He knew how much that upset him.

But he couldn’t very well just refuse the hospitality of Nico’s mum. He was her guest, after all, so he had to do what she wanted of him.

He didn’t complain as she found him a pair of swim trunks. He didn’t complain as she shoved him into the bathroom to get changed. He didn’t complain as he stared at the material in his hands, bunching it between his fists and contemplating what the hell he should do. He knew that Nico would be unhappy with him if he put the swimsuit on, and that’s definitely not something he wanted. But on the other hand, he knew that Yvette and Ezra were really looking forward to spending some time with him. It was a lose-lose situation, and he could feel himself begin to shake with the weight of the decision, completely unsure of what to do.

A knock on the door made him realise that he’d been in the bathroom for five minutes just thinking, and he jumped. “Sorry, sorry, give me a sec,” he mumbled, finally unbuttoning his jeans to replace them with the shorts. He debated for a moment, looking at himself in the mirror, before deciding he should just leave his shirt on.

When he emerged from the restroom, nobody was around, so he made his way back towards the porch as slowly as he possibly could. He was dreading what Nico might say to him, dreading what was going to happen.

He couldn’t help but wish that he hadn’t come today at all. Nothing had gone right, and Nico hadn’t even introduced him as his boyfriend. What was even the point?

Ezra and Yvette were already in the pool when he finally got out there, and Yvette gave him a weird look when he stepped onto the patio. Phil could only assume it was because he was still wearing his shirt. She didn’t say anything about it though, which Phil was grateful about. He didn’t know what he’d say if she called him out for it. Instead Yvette just said, “Hop in, the water’s really nice today!”

Phil glanced around, looking for Nico, and found him lounging on a chair. He didn’t glance at Phil, didn’t acknowledge his presence at all. Instead, his nose was buried in a book, one with a plain green cover that Phil couldn’t read from where he was standing.

In Nico’s other hand, he held his phone, and his gaze was drifting from the book to his phone and back again.

“I, uh. Let me see what Nico’s up to,” Phil said apologetically. He started walking over to where his boyfriend was sitting, stepping carefully over the puddles of water because he hadn’t taken off his socks yet and he didn’t want to get them wet. His eyes stayed trained on Nico, begging him to look at him, to acknowledge his presence, but he didn’t. He didn’t even look at him.

Phil barely had time to understand what was going on before something - someone - was grabbing his ankle. In what seemed like slow motion, he was tripping, falling over the edge of the pool, still in his shirt and socks. Ezra was laughing so loud that it was almost as if he was screeching, and Phil’s eyes were bleary as he emerged from the water, coughing. There was water in his throat and water in his eyes, burning because he still had his contact lenses in.

“Ezra, be nice,” Yvette admonished, but she was smiling so fondly that Phil didn’t think she actually minded at all.

Phil rubbed at his eyes, trying to get the water out of them, and glanced back up to where Nico had been sitting, only to find that he was nowhere in sight. His heart sank to his knees and he bit his lip so harshly that he could taste blood.

He couldn’t help but feel as if he’d betrayed Nico, even though he knew it wasn’t his fault for being dragged into the water. He just didn’t know why he was even contemplating spending time with Nico’s family, when he came here specifically to spend time with Nico himself. He invited Phil over and Phil couldn’t just ditch him so cold-heartedly.

“I really should go find Nico,” he stuttered out, starting to swim towards the ladder.

He only stopped because there was a hand on his wrist, and he turned to find Ezra staring pleadingly at him. “Can’t you swim with us for just a little bit?”

“I really should-”

This time it was Yvette who intervened. “Come on, let me get to know the boy my son’s in love with.”

Phil gaped at her in reaction to this, and her smile widened. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks, the question on his tongue, but he didn’t even have to ask before she was answering. “I could see how much he loves you from a mile away. It wasn’t that hard to figure out when he looks at you like you put the stars in the sky.”

Phil could feel himself melting.

Nico loved him, that much was obvious. His mum knew, Ezra knew, hell everyone probably knew. Nico loved him, and he could suck it up if Phil wanted to swim for ten minutes, especially if his mum just wanted to get to know him. Phil caved, his shoulders sagging. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

So he tried to let go. He tried to have fun. He swam around, had breath holding competitions, and pretended like they were waterbenders from Avatar. He pretended as if there wasn’t a rope around his lungs, pulling tighter and tighter with each passing minute until he was sure he was going to suffocate. He pretended as if he weren’t hyperalert for any movement outside of the pool, awaiting the moment when Nico would finally came back.

He never did, but Phil couldn’t stop watching anyways.

Eventually, it got too much for him. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. His cheeks hurt from trying to smile, and talking to Ezra and Yvette was no longer helping.

He excused himself, ignoring the way that Ezra whined after him as he dried himself off. He apologised, and Yvette told him he had nothing to be sorry for and waved him off. As he wrapped the towel around his waist, he heard Yvette hushing Ezra and telling him that Phil had other things to do. A flash of guilt went through him - he knew that Yvette and Ezra had wanted to spend time with him - but he pushed it down, instead trying to focus on figuring out where Nico was hiding.

It took Phil fifteen minutes before he found Nico hiding behind a large tree a few meters outside the front yard. He was reading still, his phone opened to Facebook messenger beside him, the green book open on his lap. There was a pretty white flower in his fingers, and Phil watched with a frown as he tore the petals off one-by-one.

He didn’t look up as Phil approached him, or when he sat down beside him. “Are you mad?” Phil asked in a small voice.

Nico didn’t answer. Phil felt his face grow hot.

“I didn’t want to swim. I tried to tell them no, but they didn’t listen to me. I didn’t have a choice.”

Silence. A few tears pricked in Phil’s eyes. “Nico, say something.”

He still didn’t answer, silence resolute and stony, and Phil stopped trying.

He stared at the sky instead, at the clouds, clenching and unclenching his hands into fists until his hands started to hurt from squeezing them so tight. His lips were raw from biting them, and the air was so thick with tension that Phil could cut it with a knife.

He didn’t know how long they were sat there for until Yvette came to look for them, telling them that dinner was ready and that they should head in.

By then, Phil’s clothes were almost dry, and his voice had died in his throat. He couldn’t speak, didn’t know if he even wanted to when Nico was so blatantly ignoring him, so he didn’t reply. Neither did Nico

They went inside.

Nico was careful not to even brush against Phil as he stood up, careful to keep his eyes straight ahead. His face was passive, showing no emotion, and Phil wanted nothing more than to grab his shoulders and scream apologies at him, scream that he hadn’t meant to go swimming, and that he never would have if he’d known Nico would be so upset with him.

The problem was, Phil had known, but he’d paid no attention in preference of getting to know Nico’s family. This had all been Phil’s fault.

Dinner was awkward, to say the least. Yvette kpt trying very hard to make the environment nice and light. Ezra kept ranting about how he’d totally slayed some loser in Call of Duty that afternoon. Nico laughed along to his mother’s comments, and joked with Ezra about how he was infinitely better at video games, but he didn’t look at Phil for over an hour, and Phil could feel his insides breaking, tearing, pulling. A swab of cotton wool was lodged in his throat, making it impossible to make conversation.

He laughed when prompted, nodded along to stories, but his eyes stayed glued to Nico, waiting, hoping for acknowledgement. An acknowledgement that didn’t come.

When dinner was finished and Phil had only just managed to force a couple of bites down his throat, Yvette ordered Ezra and Nico to do the dishes. She gave Phil a kind smile and told him to help her pack up the food, standing up and ushering her sons out the door.

It was silent between them as Phil gathered up the plates and began to put the leftovers into containers. His thoughts had trailed to where Nico was undoubtedly washing the dishes, and he could hear the two boys joking through the wall.

It really bothered him that Nico refused to talk to him, barely even acknowledging him, but was so readily prepared to kid around with his brother. It was as though Nico was indifferent towards him, like he didn’t give a shit about Phil’s thoughts or feelings, even though he knew that wasn’t quite true. He tried to shake himself off, tell himself that people in relationships fought all the time, but it was hard when he was by himself and he could hear Nico laughing loudly just in the other room.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Yvette suddenly spoke, her voice so quiet that it would have been almost impossible to hear her in the kitchen. “Does he treat you well?” she asked.

Phil dropped the spoon to the table with a loud clatter. A lump of mashed potatoes splattered on the table. “I- yes,” he stuttered, keeping his eyes downcast as he fumbled with a napkin, trying to clean up the mess he’d made. Nico usually treats him well, so that wasn’t a lie. So why did it feel like a lie?

“Good, I’m glad,” Yvette responded. Phil’s eyes flicked up to meet hers and she smiled once more. She seemed like a lovely person, but Phil couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable. Nico clearly hadn’t wanted to tell his mum about them yet, so he felt guilty talking about their relationship behind his back. “You seem like a sweet boy, Phil. The kind of person any mother would love to see with her son.”

“Thank you.” The words were filled with surprise, confusion. Where was this conversation going?

She cleared her throat and put a hand atop Phil’s where he was still trying to clean up the spilt mashed potatoes. “Don’t let him ruin you, okay? I love my son to death, but I also believe you deserve the best.”

Phil swallowed. What the hell? Why did this feel eerily similar to what Ledjon had told Phil only days before he showed up with a black eye and a story about being hit at school? Why did this feel eerily reminiscent of what Nico had told Phil about his past? Why did it seem like Nico’s mum believed the worst of Nico as well? Why did it seem as if she saw Nico as a carbon copy of his father?

He gently took his hand out from under hers, crinkling the soiled napkin in his palm as a way to distract himself. He gave her as big of a grin as he could muster. “Nico treats me like a prince,” he promised, the words heavy on his tongue. He felt as though he needed to prove her wrong, to show her that Nico was nothing like his father. “I couldn’t ask for anything better.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

They didn’t talk about it for the rest of the visit. Instead, they watched a movie that Phil couldn’t pay attention to, and he tried to hold Nico’s hand when no one was looking, but Nico moved so his hands were under his thighs and angled himself away from Phil.

The rest of the movie was a blur beneath salt water tears and rapidly blinking eyelids.

They didn’t speak until they were safely back at Nico’s apartment hours later, the moonlight streaming into the window and Phil’s chlorine-stiff shirt replaced by a green jumper and black sweatpants.

Phil rested his head on Nico’s shoulder, frowning when he felt his boyfriend jerk away from his touch. He gnawed on his lip. He’d been doing that a lot lately. “Are you going to tell me what I did?” Phil asked quietly.

He didn’t expect Nico to respond, so it took him off guard when he actually did, voice deep and void of emotion. “I told you I didn’t want you to go swimming.”

“I wasn’t planning to. I swear I didn’t want to.”

Nico shrugged. “Doesn’t change the fact that it happened. You could’ve told them no.”

“I’m sorry,” Phil whispered. “I didn’t know you didn’t want me to that badly.” The lie stuck in his throat. He had known, and that was the problem.

“It’s whatever,” Nico replied gruffly. He typed something into his phone, and then set it to the side, staring at the wall with his eyebrows furrowed. “I just don’t like it when my boyfriend runs around looking like a fucking slut.”

“But I’m not.”

Nico scoffed and turned his glare onto Phil. It was the first time he’d looked at Phil since earlier that day, and Phil could feel his gaze burning into him like lava. Phil’s throat constricted and his eyes welled with tears. How could he have done something that had so obviously hurt Nico? What kind of a boyfriend was he?

“If you had no problem running around and showing your body off so the entire world could see, that makes you a slut, Phil. You’re mine, remember? No one else's. I don’t date sluts.”

Phil made a noise that resembled a whimper in the back of his throat. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. “I’m sorry,” he said, and his voice cracked pathetically. “I’m yours, Nico. Only yours. I won’t do it again.”

Warm fingers were then on his chin, lifting his head up so he could look into a pair of soft green eyes. For the first time since that morning, Nico smiled at him. “Was that so hard?” Nico whispered. Phil shook his head, earning him a kiss on the forehead. “Good boy. You know I love you more than anything, right?”

Phil nodded, and smiled through teary eyes, which Nico wiped away with his thumbs. He nuzzled his head into Nico’s hands, craving the affection after the cold shoulder he’d been given that entire day. “I love you, too,” Phil breathed.

Nico kissed him, and it felt like all of the wind was knocked out of him, like it was their first kiss all over again. Phil could feel the softness of Nico’s lips against his, the warmth of Nico’s tongue as it slid over his bottom lip. Phil loved the way Nico tasted like something warm and familiar and safe.

They made love that night, and Phil was completely pliant underneath Nico, completely at his mercy. He mewled as Nico pressed him into the mattress, as he kissed his neck and sucked marks onto his collarbones to show Phil just how much he belonged to him. Phil couldn’t believe how lucky he’d gotten to have such a wonderful lover, someone who made his insides light up to the point where it hurt to breathe. He couldn’t believe how responsive Nico made him when he did that thing with his tongue and whispered how much Phil meant to him against his skin, how Phil was all his and nobody elses.

And when they were done, Phil’s mind was racing and his body was thrumming with post-orgasmic pleasure. Nico was breathing softly next to him, a gentle lull that was deafening to Phil’s ears. He stared at the ceiling, at the glow in the dark stars stuck there, his mind blissfully blank and his eyes wide.

He didn’t get to sleep that night, but he didn’t really know why.

Chapter Ten 

[alltheszeyears]

ITS HERE FINALLY!!!

You Had Me At Hello pt 1 Warnings: cursing, and really bad smut(lol). “Y/N, you have to get over him.“Cameron, my best friend of four years said to me. 
“I know it’s just I’ve never felt like the before.” I glanced at her with weeping eyes. “Cam it hurts.” She scooted to me from her place on the couch and hugged me tightly. Hey, you know what will make you feel better?“ She said looking at me with wild eyes. 
“What?” She grinned evilly. “ A party!” She got up and smacked me with a pillow. Laughing, I agreed.I walk into my closet to see if I can find anything decent to wear but I find nothing, so I just put on a white sweatshirt and some black sweatpants and head over to the living room, as soon as Cameron saw me she looked at me like I was wearing the ugliest thing on earth “Please tell me your only wearing this to go to the mall to buy something else cause girl, we’re going to a party, not the library” she said, before I could reply all of a sudden she said “not to worry, best friend to the rescue!” All of a sudden she took out this gorgeous red dress that looked like it was worth a million bucks and shoved me along with the dress into my closet “try it on” she said, I did as I was told and once as I put it on, I look in the mirror and I could barely recognize myself, I looked, pretty and that’s saying a lot cause I usually don’t say that about myself, I come out of the closet and see Cameron wearing a really short dress but before I could even rant about it Cameron runs up to me saying “You Look So Fucking Beautiful!! Ok ok since we’re ready let’s go! Who knows, you might find a cute guy” the devilish smirk on her face made me concerned but I go along with it anyways, “maybe”. I exited Cameron’s and instantly regretted my decision to come.What if I’m overdressed? What if I get judged and made fun of?!!! I shouldn’t have come. I shook my head. pushed all my negative thoughts to the other side of my head, and walked inside. The fuck??? Where the fuck are you?? I texted Cameron because it’s apparently it’s ok to leave your now single friend in the middle of a thousand predators. “Especially in a sexy red dress” I immediately threw my fists up to face my, very cute opponentThe stranger chuckled at my jumpiness and smiled at me. Then I realized “Oh shit I said that out loud didn’t I?” I facepalmed and blushed out of embarrassment. He looked at me with a familiar look in his eyes. “There you are!!” I heard Cameron yell. She look at the stranger and hugged him. I stood there bewildered and kinda disturbed because of how alike they– oh. oh. That was Grayson. Her brother and the boy I had a crush on growing up. “Wait an effin second, Y/N?” Grayson almost yelled. I smiled “Yep that’s me” channeling my inner Raven Simone. He picked me up and spun me around. “Where the hell have you been!?” He exclaimed playfully. “Oh same old shit I’ve always shit I had always been doing. What about you?” He looked at me with that beautiful smile of his and explained to me about his YouTube channel– TheDolanTwins – with his brother Ethan and how life was like in Los Angeles. Then the drinks began to pour. “So Y/N, ever been in a relationship?” My face crinkled up as if I had smelled the worst smell ever “Of course I have! He was a dick though”. Grayson touched my knee. No, not touched. He held my knee. "What happened Y/N?” His face filled with concern “He um…. he abused me gray” Grayson flinched and leaned forward “Y/N” he took a breath and glanced at my lips “I would never do that to you” I found myself leaning in as well, We kept leaning towards each other until our lips interlocked. Every part of me was screaming. Some of it screaming it was wrong. Ever other part was screaming it was so right is tongue traced my bottom lip asking, demanding , entrance. Being the little shit i am I denied his request. He squeezed my thigh gently causing me to gasp. His tongue fought for dominance against mine, and won. I removed my swollen lips from his and breathed heavily. “Why don’t we take this to a room?” He breathed out and I looked into his eyes. His pupils blown wide with lust, were filled with something I hadn’t ever seen before.I grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs. (ITs about to get hot in here)When we reached the bedroom closest to us, Gray slammed me against the wall and returned to kissing me. He licked down from my jaw to my neck and sucked harshly on it. “Fuck Gray.” His name fell from my lips in a filthy moan. He removed himself from his assault on my neck and started to unzip my dress. I’m glad I decided to wear my favorite, black, lingerie. Grayson looked at mefrom my toes all the way to my lips. I threw off my shoes, and started to strip him of his shirt. Damn, this man was chiseled like a Greek god.I stared for a second to long causing Gray to pin me to the wall once again.“Jump, babygirl.” His voice was so raspy and deep it caused all the heat in my body to rush down to my core. I jumped into his arms, not even noticing that his pants were already gone. He gently threw me on the bed and rid me of my undergarments. “Fuck kitten,"I could feel his warm breath on my core. "So wet. Is it all for me?” I moaned. Loudly. “Gray please just do something just–” my breath hitched in my throat as I felt his warm tongue on me. My hands pulled at his scalp when he decided to eat me like I was his last meal.I pulled harder when he moaned. “You taste so good kitten. Sweet.” I felt the knot tighten in my stomach. “ Grayson I’m– GRAYSON, FUCK!” I screamed as I felt the knot snap. I’ve had orgasms before but never as perfect and intense as this one. “You ok Y/N?” I nodded. “Good,” he smirked, his face covered in my juices. “Cause I’m not done with you yet."I felt chills run down my spine into my core once again. He kissed up my stomach, my neck,and jaw. Before he kissed me I swear he said "I love you.” But who knew for sure? My train of thought detoured, heavily, when he thrust into me without any warning. It wasn’t long before he was moaning at the same volume, maybe even louder, as me. “Gray I’m-” “Me too Y/N. Me too"He thrust into me thirty more times before coming inside me moaning my name. It wasn’t long before I came as well, screaming his. We rode out our highs, and he fell beside me already asleep. I sat there in silence, wondering if what just happened was real. I just had sex with the guy I live since the second day of first grade. Eventually, my thoughts lulled me into a peaceful , much needed, sleep.. I wake up in an familiar bed with a huge headache I roll to the side and accidentaly fall and I see this picture, wait a minute, that’s a picture of me and gray from 5th grade at our graduation, he still had it all this time? I can’t help but smile, but the smile quickly faded when it hit me, I JUST HAD SEX WITH GRAYSON DOLAN! I quickly pull the sheets trying to not wake grayson up and go to get my clothes only before I could reach them I heard a yawn from across the room and realized oh shit he’s awake! I turned around to see gray staring at me with the same confused face that I had "Wait a minute did we?” I nod slowly in response not really sure what his next move would be, he got up and quickly grabbed my clothes “Here these are yours” I slowly grabbed them and rushed to the bathroom to change but I look at myself and mirror and I screamed, Grayson rushed in and said “What what happened?!!” Then I said in response “umm nothing nothing I’m fine fine” only really I’m not fine, see I’ve been having these times where if I look at myself I picture my ex wrapping his arms around my waist, “No y/n not until you tell what’s going on?” He demanded, no matter how much you wanted to tell him, to jump into his arms and kiss him so passionately you remember something, it was still a bit hazy but you could still remember the words “I love you” coming from Grayson’s mouth but didn’t say anything to him about it because you knew what he would say “Grayson please go I have to change and get to work” I said trying to push him out but he’s a lot stronger than I was until he said “fine I’ll go on one condition” “which is?” “You let me take you out Saturday night” I consider this for a few second when I see gray smirking, god why does he have to be so god damn sexy? I quickly respond “Fine now get out” he quickly turned around but I can still feel that smirk on his face, I quickly close the door and change and when I get out I rushed to the door but before I could Grayson stood in front of it “nope until I get a kiss on ma cheek” I quickly kiss him on the cheek and I get out quickly cause I was gonna be late for work but in reality I just needed to get out of there, but I smiled big knowing that I have a date with my crush on Saturday.

A/N- we’re super excited for you guys to read this mini series we will be doing, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed making it, if you have any fan fic ideas for us either contact me or @dolanluvv–xx 💜🌸💕