#i lied im posting it early

[al-luviec]

still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

[anxiouslyextroverted]

So a few of my irls were talking about how c!dream never targetted c!tommy and or had a dependency issue and I just wanna correct that.

c!Dream at the start of the series (since now the start is considered canon) constantly went after the discs even when c!Tommy told him he wanted to have a truce and that they were allies even wanting to play them together with c!Dream. c!Dream agreed to those terms but then attacked him 5 minutes later anyway.

Not forgetting the first disc fight where c!Dream targetted c!Tommy the whole time and only gave c!Sapnap and c!Ponk and c!Alyssa a slap on the wrist.

c!Dream spent a good portion of a Tommy stream donating him msgs to play the discs.

A couple of early streams of c!Dream trying to get c!Tubbo o someone else against c!Tommy.

Not really targetting but he said "Tommy is under my protection" which is that dependency thing idk it counts.

c!Dream built a tunnel to c!Tommys base.

c!Dream during L'manberg arc seemed more against c!Tommy than c!Wilbur and the others more often than not.

c!Dream focused on getting c!Tommys friends against him, such as most notably c!Tubbo and c!Wilbur in pogtopia arc.

c!Dream betrays c!Tommy in pogtopia arc after initially helping c!Tommy out. He tells c!Tommy this is due to 'business' he also tells him, 'that he put something better over friendship' (aka the revival book he got from c!Schlatt) (either way, he still betrayed him.)

He tells c!Tommy at the end of l'manberg blowing up that 'everythings just getting started', and makes it out as if c!Tommy was in the wong.

A few weeks before exile. c!Dream and c!Puffy went around destroying everything including c!Skeppys home and then framing it on c!Tommy with signs. c!Dream in particular is excited for people to log on and for them to get mad at c!Tommy.

The above was confirmed canon when during Exile trial, c!Dream says that c!Tommy had blown up c!Skeppys house (or he infers it), showing the damage that he himself did.

In Exile trial, I'm not gonna lie c!Tommy totallyyy fucked up here by burning a little TINY tiny small tiny bit of c!Georges home and then trying to fix it. And then he lied about it. (/sarc) But, c!Dream was provoking him in the whisper chat with ":)" and "have fun on probation :)"

During exile, he focuses on putting all blame for his problems on c!Tommy. Not just saying that to c!Tommys face but on other people's streams, he was there talking about how much of a nuisance c!Tommy is and what not.

In exile, he proceeds to get c!Tommy dependent on him so c!Tommy will help with his goals later on. But the way he goes about this is to a severe extreme like how he snaps at him and hits him with an axe or arrow, he takes great enjoyment in bullying c!Tommy and getting others like c!Lazarbeam to bully him too, he makes sure c!Tommy is completely lonely even sending c!Ghostbur away who was memory loss so how could he break c!Dreams plans exactly?, he gasights c!Tommy into thinking that c!Dream didn't kill Mexican Dream, he blows up c!Tommys base despite never telling c!Tommy the rule about how he can't have chests underground.

He goes onto track c!Tommy down. And again, its more the way he goes about it.

Once c!Tommy is back in L'manberg, c!Dream blows up the community house and frames it on c!Tommy. Getting everyone against him and he tells c!Tubbo that he is affiliated to c!Tommy based on the disc that he says is 'Tommys most prized possession' which is him getting c!Tubbo to go against c!Tommy once more.

After Lmanberg gets blown up again. c!Dream tells c!Tommy "I'm not done with you. Our stories not over... Our stories not over" c!Tommy says "Our stories not over but it will be... It will be soon" and c!Dream replies "I don't think our story will ever be over, Tommy. I think that you're just too fun. I don't think It'll be over."

In disc finale, he proceeds to act like that c!Tommy is his main target, calling him the key to the server and going after him more than c!Tubbo. And puts the idea in c!Clingyduos heads that he needs all the possesions to control the server. (now even though c!Dream staged this whole thing and wasn't actually saying his motivations, c!Tommy never knows that he lied about that not at this point at least. It further riles c!Tommy up and has him believing that c!Dream really is obsessed with hurting him and since c!Dream never explains why properly, it comes off to c!Tommy that he is obsessed for no reason.) (Also possible for it to be half staged making the motivations semi-true)

Then, c!Dream causes c!Tommy to get stuck in the cell with him by controlling c!Ranboo to do that (which this is confirmed that he really did do this, confirmed in the final lore stream and in dream xds video)

The point of c!Dream allegedly lying to make c!Tommy think c!Dream was after him all the time is further solidified when in the prison arc. c!Dream refers to c!Tommy as a light, and key and keeps going on about studying death with him. I know a lot of this may very well be real and a result from him being mentally ill from isolation, but theres so many lies sprinkled in here like telling c!Tommy that he never tested out the revival book before when he had (btw correct me if Im wrong here, I could of got the dates mixed up)

c!Sam also claims that c!Dream kept going on about c!Tommy in the prison, c!Sam also says that c!Dream was practically manically laughing after he killed c!Tommy. (Obsession, putting on an act of obsession, mentally ill from the prison sure maybe all 3)

After c!Dream escapes prison, he immediately goes after c!Tommy. (Which sure is to scare c!Tommy into no longer going after him or whatever it could be an act) But he's still putting the idea in c!Tommys head that he's obsessed with hurting him, and don't say that he did this unintentionally because we already have the 'you're too fun line' and several other moments to prove otherwise. He also then puts signs around c!Tommys home saying 'watch your back' and ":) I'm watching" and he makes a trap for c!Tommy to fall into playing back a messed up disc. Don't say that this was apart of c!Tommys delusion because c!Eryn saw it too and a few others did from what I remember-unless thats retconned idunno.

In c!Wilburs finale, c!Dream can't stand the idea of the discs being burned. (The discs are affiliated with c!Tommy as c!Dream has said before, and has said that the discs are c!Tommys most prized possesion) He still cares about them even now. He also watches c!Tommy for majority of the time.

In Dreams space, he claims that his character was not solely torturing c!Tommy for the sake of it, but that he still really enjoyed hurting c!Tommy. Its to vague to tell if Dream is denouncing the 'c!Dream is obsessed with c!Tommy' theory or not. I believe he is saying that it is half true- as in that his character is, but that he has reasons to do so, and or that this wasn't his only plan.

During the final lore finale, c!Dream claims that he wasn't targeting c!Tommy and that he had left him alone however that contradicts with everything I wrote above, so 1. He thinks he left c!Tommy alone, 2. He was referring to the present where he did leave him alone and purposely/or accidentally ignoring the past, or 3. he knows he didn't and is just trying to rile c!Tommy up. Either way he goes onto admit that he did cause c!Ranboo to get c!Tommy stuck in the prison. He also confirms later on that he genuinely believes c!Tommy is the cause of the ruining of his server. "Why are you ruining everything all the time" "You deserved it (torture)" "I am (a villain), I tortured you."

And not to mention. Out of everyone on the server that gets c!Dream to give up and somewhat open up, its c!Tommy... because ofc it is. No ones surprised.

I think that's everything. as always I'm happy to debate with people and stuff preferably in dms but idm. If anything is wrong, correct it. If anything is missed, let me know. ty

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

Answering the questions from THIS ask game!! I am so picky about ask games but I just love all the questions in this ask game so much that I'd go bonkers if I didn't get to answer them all!! I'll just be answering for Finn and Axlerod though<3 I'll probably reblog it some other time so I can answer some for the others hehe!

Be warned for lots of uncontained rambling!!<3

Answers about Finn will be in blue and answers about Axlerod will be in green, for the sake of(hopefully) ease of reading :)

VERY Lengthy. I mean, it's my usual uncontained yapping amount but it's compiled with the fact im answering an entire ask game for two characters as well, so it's like a sit down and pull out a snack kinda read.

🥀 - has your f/o ever given you a bouquet of flowers? what kinds of flowers do they include?

Finn doesn't get me flowers very often, normally I'm the one gifting flowers to him, but the few times he does get me flowers it's typically normally roses! It's either a lot or a little, no in-between. Either two roses or thirty. Not that I mind either way, haha! Sometimes he'll try and pick out flowers that he knows I like that I've commented on before, but I think he enjoys the mostly universal gesture behind roses more.

Axlerod has gotten me flowers before, he asked me once or twice before at the very beginning for what flowers I like, and he's stuck to getting those flowers ever since. I love big puffy round flowers, so he always gets me those sorts like peonies, hydrangea, allium, those sorts! For some reason I can not for the life of me remember the name of my favorite one right now and it's driving me nuts! Also tulips, I quite like tulips.

🎉 - have they ever made a big, grand gesture for you? say, throw a surprise party, or go on an impromptu vacation?

Very big things can be tricky to navigate with me, especially if it's as a surprise, Finn is very well aware of this and tends to keep things on the low side with me. Actually, he nearly does the complete opposite! Many small gestures, he practically goes out of his way to make sure things aren't too big or overwhelming for me. Of course, I have very big feelings though, so his seemingly small gestures really mean the world to me. But he has a very big thing for spoiling me to put it lightly, and so he's made it very clear with me that he absolutely wouldn't mind doing anything and everything with and for me. Regaurdless of how 'big' or 'small' of a thing I asked him to do, he'd probably do it without hesitation for a multitude of reasons.

Axlerod has, technically twice, in a sense. For our wedding we jokingly suggested(I can't remember who mentioned it first) me dragging him back to the US(I'm American, he's British), but we actually ended up going along with it! Many tears of joy were shed by me when getting to show him around my home town and ramble on about all the culturally different things, or getting to taste American foods again that aren't over in the UK or the version in the UK tasting different or such. He also did however surprise me with tickets to a race, which led to me doing more happy malfunctioning and grabbing him and shaking him by the shoulders.

💖 - what's the nicest compliment they've ever given you? what's the nicest compliment you've ever given them?

Honestly, I don't know if I can pick this one for either of them! I know it sounds awfully cheesy but really any and all compliments they have said or given me has been the world to me.. and I wouldn't be too surprised if they said the same as well.

🌟 - have you ever stargazed with them before? if they're interested in it, where would you two like to go to see them?

Oddly enough, I haven't gone stargazing with Finn yet, even with as much as I talk about it! Though, we have gone on a night walk together before and it ended up being a very, very special night teehee. Definitely no big talk about marriage or getting engaged ensued, totally. No technical proposal or anything.

Again, oddly enough, no! Which you really think we would've by now with as much as I enjoy the nighttime and stuff😅 but I have spent some time staring out some windows and babbling a bit to him while we both look around out of it. It's so peaceful and relaxing..

🌲 - whats your f/o's ideal date spot to take you to? what's your ideal date spot to take them?

Finn is very sappy, but he also would practically throw away anything to make me happy, so his ideal date spot to take me is simply wherever he thinks I would fancy. He knows I have trouble with going out to eat/eating in public or how I don't like things like the beach and stuff, so on and so forth, so he knows what to avoid and what I do and don't like. I won't go into full detail or anything(cough cough shared bath/shower cough cough), but his ideal date spot to take me is probably my favorite sorts of dates to go on, little stay at home dates!! He knows I love those, and he's always so good at coming up with what to do, even if it's just relaxing and being close together while watching a show or him cooking something for me.

I'd say my ideal date spot to take Finn would be wherever I think he'd enjoy! I tried taking him out to a nice restaurant once before because I know he'd love that sort of stuff, but he doubled down on it saying that it would be at my expense, which would stop him from enjoying it if I'm not enjoying it as well. I quite like doing things for him kinda like when I first asked him out, where I brought him flowers and some gifts I think he'd like,, we don't go out very often, but when we do I always end up gifting him plenty of things!

Axlerod is quite similar to Finn's, he knows what sort of things I do or don't enjoy for date locations, Axlerod already doesn't leave the house very often asides from when he's going to do work things and such, I think he quite enjoys throwing little stay at home dates for me, or making small dates out of things like going shopping together or going to the park and such! He's not a very particular man, so wherever he thinks I'll enjoy will do.

Like I said, he isn't very particular, so it can be a little tricky trying to navigate his favorites or super likes and super dislikes sometimes, but that man just seems happy over anything we do together being so much considered and called a date! My ideal date spot to take him would be wherever I think he'd enjoy best, but he's not very picky, I think he just likes being around me. Heck, part of me even questions if he does have any preference for dates!

🦑 - would you two ever go on an aquarium date together? who's idea was it, and which fish is their/your favorite to look at?

Veryyyy funny and long story, but *technicallyyy* me and Finn did go on an aquarium date of some sorts together, it just... didn't end very well, to no fault of ours. I mean, I suppose you could argue if it was a date or not since it was technically before we were even together, really😅. This kinda rings true for both of them, but I love love love aquariums and museums and that sorts of stuff, but I always struggle going to them because a lot of the time they are crowded and too overwhelming for me :( maybe I just have bad luck, but it makes me so upset, so it's hard to go on them as much as I'd truly really like to. It'd probably be my idea in the sense that I'd suggest doing it sometimes, but Finn would be the one that actually gets the tickets for it/sets up when to go. My favorite to look at would be the sharks if they have any, or like jellyfish or stingrays! Maybe a flounder or something. Hmmm.... I'm not sure which Finn's favorite to look at would be! I feel like he'd be oddly enamored by the touch-tank, though. I like to think he has quite an enjoyment for all sorts of aquatic things so I think he'd like it all in general :) We have little inside things about like shrimp or lobsters, but I don't think we'd find any there...

I'm restating it here again as well just in case, but I love aquariums and museums! But I can't unfortunately go as much as I'd like cause whenever I do they're always crowded or such for some reason and it gets too overwhelming for me :(. We haven't ever actually been on one together, but it would be absolutely something I would love to do sometime. I wouldn't be surprise if he'd ask to rent it for a day and cover any business loss the aquarium might lose if it meant just the two of us could go and spend as long as we'd like there heheh. I think it'd probably be my idea since I'm the one that enjoys aquarium dates so much! Like I said, my favorites to look at would probably be like sharks if they had any, or things like jellyfish or stingrays! He'd probably say something silly, like his favorite is the sea urchin or something. I'd giggle about it, but I would not be surprised one bit if it was geniune.

🥪 - picnic time! what do you guys bring? do you pick them out together, or pick them out separately and surprise each other?

Screams. aAUQUAGHH PICNICK!!!!!!!

I think Finn likes it better when we go to pick out what stuff to bring together, cause then it's like one big mega date cause we spend time picking out all the stuff and still have time to spend together at the picnic. I have so much fun picking out things or like decorating things and so I absolutely get carried away with things like what picnic basket or blankets and little cases or boxes to put the food or goodies in. I'm not very good at eating infront of other people, it makes me very anxious which just makes it even harder for me to eat, but that kinda adds to how special it is cause either A. I feel comfortable enough infront of Finn that I will mind less nibbling on a few things, or B. I know Finn is understanding, and even if a big center part of picnics is..the food, I know he won't mind whether I do or don't end up eating infront of him, so long as we just enjoy our time there. Especially cause he seems so much like the kind of person to really enjoy restaurant dates and things I feel a little extra bad about it on top of usual, but he says that he really doesn't mind, and it'd be pointless to go on a date that only one of us would be enjoying. Also games, though. We bring like chess or something and he flawlessly beats me every single time, but we're just having fun with it and I am not one bit very experienced with chess, so there's a lot of laughing. Plus, leaves my hands more free for spoon/hand feeding everything to him. Which absolutely gets to him and I love it. The food we'd bring would be like very charcuterie styled stuff, and maybe a few extra chocolates as well, and things like cut up fruits or berries.

Same thing with Axlerod in the sense that I don't really like eating infront of other people, but I'd be a lot more relaxed doing it infront of him, or he'd at least be very understanding about it and wouldn't mind. It's like when you get a new cat(or dog perhaps as well) and they're so nervous at being in a new home and are too skittish to be around you or eat infront of you so you just gotta leave out a bowl of food and monitor it every now and then to see if the food is going down and that they're eating it, haha! Axlerod definitely uses the picnic as a way to try and get me a lot more relaxed about indulging in things that I like without worrying over how others will perceive me. He brings like coloring books and colored pencils or crayons, and like bubbles, just silly things to mess around or play with. Yes, there will be Hello Kitty coloring books. Yes, because Hello Kitty is white and you can't really color something white when the page is already white, we will be making our own Kitty's with different fur patterns and colors. Yes, I said "we". He still purposely brings some foods or goodies he knows I like a lot just to encourage me a bit, but worse case scenario we bring it back home and I just eat it there as usual. Probably brings a book or something and asks me to read it to him. 50/50 chance it's actually a book he or I know, or that it is some random book he grabbed off of a shelf or online(he'd probably grab something about history or mechanics or like cars/boats/planes/racing/etc., stuff he knows I like and wouldn't have to worry about whether it'd contain a topic that would make me uncomfortable or not).

💍 - you two go pick out matching lockets to keep a picture/piece of hair/memento of the other in! what do they look like? what picture of theirs do you keep?

Hm.. we probably wouldn't keep a picture of each other in lockets, but definitely something that reminds us of eachother. Finn is probably a bit harder about this because, being a spy, he's not very keen on carrying around things that easily identify his friends/loved ones. It's partly why the few names in his phone contacts are(seemingly) completely random things and change spontaneously to something else. It'd probably end up being something that ties us together, a two havles of a whole thing, each of us having one half. Our wedding rings both have a heart shape ingraved on the inside of them, perhaps something similar to that.

Me and Axlerod would probably put a piece of paper inside each other's lockets, with our handwriting on them. He'd have his name in my handwriting and I'd have my name in his handwriting. Cause I'm sure there's something so sweet and perhaps poetic about having someone else writing your name that isn't you. I also just love thinking about their handwriting so so much and I have no clue why. I feel like so much can be poured out into pen to the paper.

🧁 - you bake something together! what do you bake? how does it turn out? is it the best thing you've ever tasted? or does it suck ass?

If me and Finn are baking together, I am absolutely letting him "lead", because he is far more advanced than I am. We'd probably end up baking whatever we simply feel at the time, whether it be baked goods or a nice meal for dinner. With Finn at the helm, assuming whoever is with him doesn't completely butcher it behind his back, I don't know if it's entirely possible for it to turn out horribly, give or take a few very, very unlikely scenarios. I know I'm no incredible chef, but I'm confident enough that I could be decent at following along, so long as it's not something horribly complex. He'd probably ask for some notes from me while making me some American dishes(assuming he's not saving it as a surprise), and I'd probably show him my scones recipe or follow along and be a good assistant(aka taste-tester)((I will also help but yknow)) while he's making some sort of roast dinner or such. I probably ask him how to cook something or ask for the recipe for something I know he enjoys just so I can make it for him while he's not looking and bring it to him.

If me and Axlerod are ever cooking something together there will be a lot of giggles and laughter involved. We aren't awful, but we aren't that far beyond mediocre either, so what we did cook would be fairly simple stuff or things we already know how to make, give or take the few moments of "this is going into the bin and we are getting takeout. What do you want to order."/"It's not BAD.... but this is going to take trial and error recipies to perfect." I at some point make scones for him and of course he'll want to help along a few times, and he probably curses a few times that there is no white gravy that can be store bought for biscuits and gravy cause we're in the UK. Though I feel like there are a few recipes and dinners that he knows how to make quite well and it always surprises me a little bit.

"Kane, I can just illegally import it-"

"-NO."(followed by a questionable internal maybe.)

🎃 - have you guys ever carved pumpkins together? do you visit a pumpkin patch, or buy one from the store? or maybe you grew it? what would your pumpkins look like?

Last Halloween was a little messy for me, so unfortunately I didn't get to celebrate it the way I wanted to, but luckily this Halloween will be much better :) or at least I'm hoping!! It seems to be headed in that direction!

I talked about this like a while ago in an older ask game and I loved answering it, but I would sooo so so love to carve pumpkins together. I love carving pumpkins and I love the whole process of getting them and picking them out and everything. I will flat-out argue with Finn over getting a pumpkin out of one of those big boxes in the middle of grocery stores that normally hold like watermelons or something. I normally am all for the upgrade of things if you can afford it and it'll make you happier, but at this point it's part of my tradition to go to Walmart and be told every pumpkin that I want is ugly and I have to tell myself to only touch one pumpkin cause for some reason every single one I touch I get attached to and I cannot let myself(for several reasons) come home with like six different pumpkins. I know the UK doesn't have Walmart, we will make due. I'm sorry Finn. But we are absolutely carving pumpkins, I still have no clue what I will carve into mine but he'd totally do like a traditional classical little spooky jack-o-lantern face.

I won't retype out all the stuff I mentioned to the answer with Finn, but essentially: yes yes we are absolutely carving pumpkins, I am making him carve a pumpkin with me even if it means just getting one and sharing it. He definitely tells me he hasn't ever carved a pumpkin or hasn't carved one in like the past 25~ years and I lecture him in his own living room about WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!!!!(He knows I'm just being playfully dramatic and teasing him). He normally doesn't have any issues with texture or sensory of stuff but I feel like he would not enjoy the feeling of the pumpkin guts and it would throw off the whole thing for him(he'd omminously stare at it in his hands until he derailed himself), so he'd probably just watch me closely as I did it. I tell him he has to be the one to name it then. He's probably call it something silly to humor me, like Fluffy.

🎄 - if you celebrate Christmas, what does your tree look like? what kinds of decorations would your f/o prefer? do you decorate it together, or does just one of you do the decorating?

Finn probably gets a real tree for it each year and probably does the same decorations each year of white lights and assorted white ornaments and buables. Probably some white puffy tinsel as well. I would love to decorate the tree with him! Maybe hide a little silly thing in it hehe. I am now giggling cause depending on the size of the tree he gets depends on if both or neither of us could reach the top of it(without a stool, at least). His stuff for Christmas is very white or white and silver, someetimesss on a very rare occasion there will be some blue as well. He really likes Christmas, so it's one of the more special-er things to him. I could go on about his Christmasy stuff for a while, really, hehe! I'm not as avid about Christmas, but I've certainly warmed up a lot more to it and I very much encourage it for him since it makes him so happy.

Axlerod, like most other holidays, he doesn't really do much for it, he's never been particularly excited over a certain holiday so he's never really felt a need for getting decorations or stuff about it, regaurdless of if he's on his own or not. If he did get any stuff, it's probably because I swayed him a bit because either I mentioned I liked/wanted something, or he figured it would be something I would enjoy and got it for me. He'd probably get one of those fake trees that can be like reassembled each year. For some reason my Christmas trees always end up looking a little rainbow-y with all the multi-colored lights and different colored ornaments, I feel like that would rub off on him a bit as well. Same problem situation with Finn where depending on how big the tree is depends if we will both be too short to reach the top of it or not without a stool! I think it'd be nice decorating the tree together, we probably wouldn't put too much energy into it to make it spiffy, but it'd be nice and warm and cozy.

Neither of them are safe from me wrapping them in the lights at least once.

🍝 - you guys go to a nice fancy restaurant together! what does your f/o order? what do you order? do you guys order a dessert? perhaps, to share?

I kinda practically answered this one a little bit earlier with the picnic thing, but I feel bad cause I don't like restaurant dates cause I don't really like eating infront of other people, and restaurants are such a staple date to go on.

I think Finn would be too busy fussing over me to be able to enjoy himself, even if it was just him that ordered food, he'd be super avid about going on a date that we would both enjoy, because that's partly what dates are for, and it'd be pointless to go on one that only one of us was happy about. I feel a little extra bad about it with him cause he seems like the kind of person to really enjoy restaurant dates, but he insists that it's alright and doesn't mind, so it's okay. I still make sure to get him very nice foods when I can, though. Some high-end places allow me to go in and just pick up the food, so I still make sure to get Finn good stuff 😋😊

Axlerod is very very indifferent when it comes to a fair amount of things, and this is one of the things where simply doesn't have a preference on it(or so he says, at least). But, similarly with Finn, he'd probably lean towards not wanting to go, cause he'd probably want me to be comfortable and/or happy as well. If for whatever reason we did have to attend one like for a meeting or whatnot, he'd probably be squeezing my hand the whole time or let me play with his fingers to keep me happy, maybe depending on how I'm feeling afterward or how much energy is in me, he'd offer to go somewhere or do something that I might enjoy a bit more. But it's infrequent that we have to go to one in the first place anyway.

🪩 - you guys attend a party together! perhaps it's formal, maybe a ball? perhaps a masquerade? what are you wearing? do you/your f/o enjoy it?

Funny this is mentioned! Because this is actually technically how me and Finn met! It was for spy stuff and we hadn't known each other at the time, but we were assigned to meet up with each other(probably BECAUSE we weren't familiar), it was quite formal, Finn wore the suit that he always wears and I wore the same button-up, vest and bow tie that I always wear, and with a bit of help from Leland we were strung together. Finn, story wise, is one of the few that I fell for right from so much as looking at him(was reciprocated by him, however he was far much more..composed than I was, to say the least), so it was nearly my downfall when we momentarily had to dance together. Nothing big, just some fancy waltz stuff, which was my luck because that is the one dance I know a few things for and I really enjoy waltz music. I was nearly too distracted by all the new sudden things to even really process that perhaps the whole event was a bit overstimulating to me. Truthfully, I'd be completely okay not attending anymore in the future for.... a multitude of reasons.

Willingly? You probably won't ever catch me at a party willingly, and even then I'd probably have kicked and had to be dragged there. Regaurdless of if it's frat house level party or a pristine elegant formal one. I can't imagine Axlerod ending up in too many scenarios either where he is attending one and is properly enjoying himself while at it. Party life, regaurdless of what kind, just simply isn't for us. We can still dance together behind closed doors, though.

🧸 - it's valentine's day! what stereotypical valentine's day gift does your f/o give you? a box of chocolates, perhaps a stuffed animal?

Finn is going all out for Valentine's Day, he loves that holiday, and he will encompass a multitude of classic things and things catered just towards me. Absolutely he'd end up getting me some assorted box of chocolates that he'd think I enjoy, and probably one of those cute stuffies that are holding like a heart or something, and I wouldn't be too surprised if he got some flowers as well. For some reason we have a repeated gesture of running baths/getting showers started for eachother, he'd probably get one going for me and set it up how I like, with all the lights off and a scented candle lit. He probably wouldn't let me step a foot too far away from him the whole day and he'd be glued to me, mumbling a bunch of praises and compliments and endearments the entire time(I am absolutely weak to this, and I enjoy holding him in my arms and petting him while cuddling).

I feel like Axlerod would be a little lost with what to do for Valentines Day. He'd probably grab a few Valentines Day themed candies, and maybe order me one of my favorite meals or something, but he'd probably end up asking me what I'd like to do and how I'd like to spend the day. And, I don't mind one bit at all just spending it together with him and staying inside together.

📺 - what movies do you guys like watching together? is there any specific movie that comes to mind?

Now, I normally do not really watch many movies, heck, I don't really watch a lot of things in general at all really, but it depends how loose we would like to be with the definition of "movies" here. Cause I am very much subjecting my loves to those Jerma streams that I love watching. Maybe we don't watch it all at once(some of them run on up to 8 hours) in one sitting, but we still watch them together.

If you want a legitimate answer I just had the brain light bulb of remembering a movie that I DO watch and enjoy a lot enough that I would(and have) rewatch is the Bob's Burgers movie. Very good movie, I love the songs in it and it hits me right in the feels.

Finn normally likes watching movies that I wouldn't be comfortable enough to watch, so unfortunately what we could watch together is very limited(but that's how I am with nearly all media, it's why I can be hesitant when watching anything with anyone that I don't already know). He isn't very...keen on Jerma, to say the least, he thinks Jerma is a bit..absurd, but there have certainly been times where he will intentionally turn it on for me if he knows I am not feeling well or if I am having trouble sleeping. He "endures" it for me. I know it's not entirely his cup of tea, so I don't mind at all letting him curl up to me and be in his own world while I rub his back or play with his hair and I watch.

Axlerod doesn't mind Jerma as much, he actually will actively watch it with me on most occasions and will make comments on it quite often(which I don't mind at all), but that doesn't mean that there aren't any moments where he gives me funny questionable looks about it. Axlerod's im-indifferent-to-almost-everything attitude comes into play here a little bit. He normally doesn't get too carried away with shows or movies, so it gives him a bit of something to do when he can watch it with me.

[infernaltenor]

am i trying my hand at a shitty fyodor analysis? yes. yes i am. this may be slightly deranged as it is also 3am where i live but i wanted to take a closer look into the similarities/asagiris line the fyodor is based on the joker. specifically, he mentions the dark knight joker, and imo this is where everything gets a little muddled.

personally i havent seen the joker (as in the movie) and i havent watched the dark knight in a while, but the difference between the imaginings is very focused in backstory. the dark knight features much more as a backstory for two face and not the joker, its just the joker who backs batman into a corner: either you make the city turn on the greatest politician its had, or you sacrifice yourself. from my understanding of the joker’s version, hes a much more anti-societal character, and while an argument can be made for fyodors dislike of abilities and wish to destroy them and the similarity there, i genuinely am not qualified enough to say.

but dark knight joker does make a good argument. for one, the introductory story of the joker changes every time. the repeat line of ���do you want to know how i got these scars?” is the only part of his story that does not change. the only reason i point this out is because of the mystery behind fyodors backstory and his ability. this also ties into what i would argue to be the strongest point of fyodors inspiration by dark knight!joker; his introductory scene on ace’s ship and the ultimate killing of everyone on it.

why do i cite this scene in particular? routinely when joker shows up he tends to spin a small story about himself before killing everyone in the room, including allies. during fyodors introduction on ace’s ship he proceeds to follow this closely. spins a lie about his ability and kills every member on the ship, including karma, who’s pov we follow.

in relation to the most recent chapter, i think fyodor is hopping on this plan a bit as well. screw with sigma with some indication of himself (i.e., that of the split personalities) but ultimately he does plan on killing sigma and dazai, and (possibly?) chuuya as well.

but not only do i think this relates to fyodors introduction, oh no, i think this also sheds more light on nikolai and fyodors relationship, purely due to the fact that the dark knight is a movie which shows the origin of two face and how joker fits in. obviously i could go on with how dark knight!joker is much better of a manipulator than other characters (the use of harvey dent as two face, cornering batman, etc) but nikolai and fyodor are referenced to have a past together, and nikolai is flighty in an almost similar way!

without confirmation, i cant say for sure that nikolai and fyodors dynamic was 100% meant to be read as that dynamic from the movie, but i think it can shed light on the particular way the characters interact. of course nikolai comes to the conclusion of killing fyodor to release himself from his birdcage, whatever trap nikolai feels he is under could be implied to have been caused by fyodor, and i only say that due to the connection with the dark knight. harvey dent only becomes two face because his girlfriend gets literally blown up by the joker. so why does nikolai become, well, nikolai?

[nonuggetshere]

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER UR COMIC I NEED TO KNOW

OK OK SO,

Honestly, if he tried That he'd be immediately gutpunched by Herrah who was standing Right There. It's not like he was the only one that saw this happen.

Immediately after grabbing the blade, there's a moment of horrible silence where everybody's still, and then a second later PV gets up, turns on their heel and runs out of the throne room. Everybody's standing there in complete shock of what just happened, before the entire room erupts into a basically a giant screaming match.

Pale King is frozen on the spot up until Herrah grabs him by the collar and demands answers from him. The only reason they agreed to this was because he reassured them the vessel was hollow. Did he know of this? Was he tricking them all this time?

This snaps him out of it and he of course immediately defends himself and then tries to calm the room down by reassuring them that it was just a little...hiccup. The vessel was taught and ordered to protect themself, they must have seen the blade as dangerous and reacted as ordered, that's all! He'll just send the guards to find them and the ceremony can continue without a hitch. Everything was fine.

It was a lie. Of course, it was a lie. He knew that, everybody knew that. They were alive and everybody saw it, but they were also their only hope. And he would much rather not have to deal with a panicking, rioting crowd when his entire world was just shattered into little pieces in the span of a few seconds and he's this 👌 close to having a complete mental breakdown.

While nobody's looking, Hornet sneaks out and brings her sibling back, comforting them and reassuring them. She convinces them to return and come clean, to drop this entire charade.

So, they do. They step back into the throne room, their sister by their side, and it's eerily quiet. Finally, after what feels like forever, Pale King orders them to come up to the throne.

They didn't budge. He orders them again. After a moment of hesitation, they shake their head and step back.

Maybe he actually deluded himself into believing the lie he told previously, just to keep it together. Just to not break down. And now, the truth once again slaps him right in the face and all these emotions he can no longer keep down bubble up to the surface and before he can stop himself or rationalise them, he directs them at the nearest most convenient target; PV.

He storms up to them, yelling at them, and they get so scared they fall back in their attempt to backtrack. He calls them a traitor and a deceiver, says he hopes they're happy and tells them to get out of his face.

They don't need to be told twice and immediately run off again, and the moment they're gone the throne room erupts into screaming and loud chatter again. Eventually, after hours, everybody slowly filters out and it's just him, his queen, his knights and the dreamers. He wants to discuss the next course of action, but before he can speak Hornet storms over and slaps him so hard he falls over and her claws cut his cheek open. He's never seen hatred and anger so vicious in a child'a eyes before as she glares at him right before storming off.

He naturally feels crushing and immediate guilt and regret for his actions and for what he said, especially when PV doesn't return to their bedroom that night. Or the next.

He cries that night like he's never cried before. Cries so hard he pukes and can barely keep himself together.

They return after two weeks. Just show up back at the palace, and...things just go back to semi-normal. Except everybody's weird around them now. The knights feel extremely guilty and can't even look them in the eyes. Their parents avoid them completely. Some other members of the court and the staff members that were in the known keep giving them nasty looks.

They keep to themself now, it's easier that way. They keep acting...well, not fully hollow, they no longer blindly follow orders and clearly make choices for themself, but... They act emotionless. Almost as if they were hollow. Because acting this way feels familiar, it feels safe. And when their entire world was just spun upside down familiar and safe is all they want to feel.

Their father, naturally, immediately cancelled the vessel plan and dove straight into finding other solutions, working himself to the bone just like he did before the vessel plan. Meanwhile, he put them on guard duty indefinitely. While keeping them as close as before was too painful, even looking at them was too painful, he didn't want to throw them aside. He wanted to know that they were home and they were safe. So, he gave them a job and started paying them like any other staff member, though as degrading as that job felt.

As a side note, I need y'all to know that PK and WL here were good...ish parents. As good as the circumstances allowed them to be. Because despite everything, they loved them, and even though they shouldn't have they had a soft spot for that kinda-their-child-but-not-really-but-actually-yes-really.

White Lady would brush and braid their hair and play dress up with them, even when they were an adult (and they loved spending time with her as she picked pretty outfits for them to wear). Pale King would carry them as a child and gently pet their head, and spend lazy quiet mornings with them, chatting to them about all kinds of stuff over his morning cup of coffee. And on the day of their sealing, he held them in his arms and cried, mourning the baby he thought dead all over again, wishing things could have been different.

And what's funny, he didn't even want to have children at first. Like, ever. But when he laid his eyes on that kid on the platform and took their little hand into his own for the first time...the only other time that he felt that much love for somebody was when he held Hornet for the first time.

Because, one, PV deserves to be loved and all the good things. And two, I am a very big fan of the idea that they were loved. They were somebody who shouldn't have been loved, but despite everything people still loved them so deeply, and the state of their ruined kingdom is the tangible proof of that. I just love this sort of soft tragedy.

[mirrortouchedsea]

The arrow whizzed past them, a lock of Leo’s hair drifting slowly to the ground where it had passed through. The next shot wouldn’t miss, Madara knew as much as he pulled Leo off his horse and shoved him off the path. 

“Don’t come out until I tell you to!” Madara yelled at him, drawing his throwing knives and chasing into the woods where the arrow had come from. 

Not more than a few minutes later, Madara came back out to the road, arm bleeding and bandaged with his shirt sleeve and Leo… still standing in plain sight. Or more accurately, Leo covered in leaves and twigs but looking none the worse for wear, but still out of hiding before Madara had come to get him. 

He wasn’t sure what came over him as he tackled Leo to the ground. That was his King, his charge, his employer, something like this shouldn’t have even crossed his mind, and yet there he was. His bloody hand gripped at Leo’s shirt, pulling him close to Madara’s face. 

“Why didn’t you wait?”

“I heard you coming back! I thought that meant it was safe to come out?” Leo’s eyes were painfully innocent. 

“How did you know it was me and not another assassin attempting to kill you?” Blood continued to soak into Leo’s shirt from his hand. Leo’s own hand came up to wipe away the blood from a small scrape on Madara’s face. 

“It sounded like you.” 

The blood was starting to drip onto Leo’s skin and Madara’s brain felt like static. He couldn’t even protect the innocent king from trouble. How was he supposed to-- 

“Let’s find somewhere to rest for the night.” Leo’s voice was surprisingly calm. “You need to rest.” 

Madara didn’t even realize he was shaking until Leo sat up, pushing him to do the same. It was rich for Leo to say that when he was the one who was very nearly assassinated due to Madara’s carelessness. 

His arm throbbed in agreement, that he needed to find somewhere to sit and wash up and rest. 

“Alright.” He couldn’t exactly go against the King on something like this. He did need to sit down and properly clean the wound before it got infected. 

The two of them got up and Leo helped Madara back onto his horse. 

---

It didn’t take long for them to find a spot to rest up for the night. Leo pushed Madara to the river to wash up and told him he’d set up their tents. Madara obliged, thinking to himself that he’d probably still have to set up the tents and get the fire going anyway, but went down to the riverbank anyway. 

Madara struggled to pull his shirt off so he could wash the blood from it as well as the blood from his arm. The stream turned red as he dipped his arm into the water and gently scrubbed at the wound until the dried blood was gone, and while his shirt wouldn’t be white again any time soon, it was at least cleaner than it was. He pulled a roll of cloth from his pack and tied it up as best as he could. It felt a little too loose, but it would do. 

He made his way back to camp and sighed as Leo was struggling to pull the cloth over the tent frame and keep it tight. He took the fabric from Leo and tied them to the frame before sitting down next to the attempt at a fire. It wasn’t dark enough yet that he could wait to get it going and take a moment to rest. Leo had… tried which was all that counted. 

“I could’ve gotten that if you had just given me another minute,” Leo whined as he sat next to Madara on the log. 

“Your leg was tangled up in the rope you should have tied it with.” 

“W-well, I was just holding it down!” 

Madara chuckled at that and the two fell into silence just like they had on their first few nights together. 

“Uh, your bandage is falling off.” Leo spoke up again, tugging at the piece of cloth which by now had been stained with blood, though significantly less than his shirt had been. 

It took a moment before Madara realized he was still not wearing a shirt and his torso was completely exposed to Leo’s wandering eyes. He felt Leo’s hand hovering over Madara’s arm, picking at the knot he had made in the cloth as Leo’s eyes wandered over Madara’s scarred chest. He suddenly wished he could just wrap himself in his cloak and go to sleep for the night. 

Leo’s fingers danced over a smaller scar on his arm as he redid the bandage and tightened it up. All too quickly the feeling was gone and Leo had gone back to trying to start the fire and chatter away about something nonsensical. Madara tried to pay attention but he couldn’t help but wonder if he had let himself get too close to the King instead. 

[malikselfindulgence]

Tag guide! Gonna be adding onto this every once in a while :p

Main tags!

#oc: Marek lmk ☆ #oc: Morshid lmk

#grapefruitshipping -> Mei x Marek

#durianshipping -> Sun wukong x Morshid

#northern lights trio -> Mei + MK + Marek [qpr!]

#shepherd duo -> Marek + Morshid [familial]

#oc-verse -> my original ocs

Extras! [Don't post for them often]

#oc: Rose bnha #oc: Nasr httyd #oc: Majd httyd #oc: blaze sparker spiderverse

#smoltenshipping -> Majd x Snotlout

#headcuff twins -> Ruffnut + Majd

#headcrash twins -> Tuffnut + Nasr

#interneuronshipping -> Rose × Shinso

#fizzy paint trio -> Mina + Rose + Kirishima [qpr!]

More about my original ocs!

Sokar: she/her, trans girl + aromantic, sisters w Masha and Nareena and best friends w Cassandra. Ran away from the orphanage/psuedo cult and is trying to live her best life w a ghost attached to her shoulder

Masha: she/her, died at 14, ghost haunting Sokar. Angry often, sad more often. She's my wretched child and Everything bad happens to her ♡

Nareena: he/she, transmasc + bi but unaware of it lmao. Horrible person truly . Stays in the orphanage and becomes everything she and his sisters hated as kids

Cassandra: all pronouns, non-binary + bisexual, best friends w Sokar and in a qpr w her, has a younger brother named Karim. Asshole only to those who deserve it, who just happen to be everyone. Her and Karim r the only humans !

[juliets-roller-derby-awesomeness]

please assume that any time i reference time it's been queued because i don't want you lovely people to know what time zone im from

[crest-of-gautier]

4 hour session of pq today :3 here are some of the screenshots i took, mostly related to yosuke... (IM DISEASED ABOUT HIM!!! yosuke mentions are some of my favorite parts of this game!!!)

im 38%-ish done with the 3rd floor of the 2nd labryinth! i don't really have much to say this time because i think i mostly did battling, but i think that interactions with aigis and koromaru are a highlight for me... i love how loved koromaru is!

and i am also pleased to say that the exp sacrifice mechanic has been unlocked. thank fucking god. i keep getting personas flooding into my inventory and im here like "nooo stop that rn!!!"

mechanics-wise i think the only thing left right now is being able to obtain skill cards outside of quests and treasure... maybe they'll give that to me in a later dungeon (i would be very grateful, i love life aid from archangel and would love to transfer it to another navi-oriented persona for fuuka)

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

can't believe i have an 8 hour work shift today,,, (has an 8 hour work shift 5 days a week)

[unkownknowledge]

I want to drive a fucking spike into someone's head.

[amsznn]

2,000 MILES TO NONE⋆⭒˚.⋆

part 1 — part 2 here

in which you surprise your bf matt in L.A.

A/N: TYSM for all the love on my last post, def did not expect it but im glad you guys enjoyed the hc’s! chris and nick versions coming soon!

warnings: none, just fluff.

-

“hey guys.” you softly spoke into the camera while swinging your legs off the side of your bed. “today’s vlog is gonna be a bit different since im going to be visiting matt in L.A.”

ever since your boyfriend had moved to L.A. to pursue his growing career, your life back at home has felt empty. matt usually visits frequently, but this time was different. you had been apart for close to 4 months. so you took it upon yourself to plan a surprise visit with his brother, nick’s help.

“only nick knows since im pretty sure chris would tell matt by now.” you laugh while placing the camera down on your vanity. “but yeah, im gonna go get ready, call an uber to the airport, then see you guys there!” you waved at the camera before shutting it off and making your way to your bathroom.

while doing your skincare, you couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous about seeing your boyfriend. sure you guys call often and facetime almost every night, but nothing can compare to his actual presence near you.

you’re snapped out of your daze when you hear your phone vibrating on the counter beside you. you go to reach for it and see the screen lit up with the contact name “matty b 💌.” you answered the call and was met with your boyfriend’s raspy morning voice.

“good morning love.”

“hey baby, how’d you sleep?” you asked while turning the sink on to remove the left over serum on your hand. you could hear shuffling on the other side of the phone before matt answered, “good, but i miss you.”

you smiled with the knowledge of your little secret, but tried to sound just as upset too. “i miss you too, any plans for today?”

“yeah, i think i’m going out with chris today, just not sure where. what about you?” matt asked, secretly wishing he could just stay on the phone with you forever, or even better, be with you.

“im going out with a couple of friends today so i may not be able to talk much, i have to get ready now actually.” you lied coming up with an excuse as to why you wouldn’t be answering and instead be on a plane ride right to him.

“oh okay, well call me before you go to bed. love you, baby.”

“love you more.” you hung up the call and made your way to the shower so you wouldn’t miss your flight.

after all your side quests, you finally made it to the airport. about an hour passed before you finally heard your gate number be called for departure. you quickly sent nick a text before boarding the plane. before you left the house you made sure to shut off your location sharing with matt (which he was definitely suspicious about), but paid no mind to it now since your whole body was erupting with anticipation.

finally,

you would see him.

-

you double checked your seat to see if you left anything behind before making your way out of the plane.

upon opening your phone while waiting for your luggage, you saw plenty of text messages and notifications. some left by matt, and some left by nick. nick was letting you know the coast would be clear at their house for two hours since matt and chris went out which was perfect. you click out of nick’s messages, but not before sending him a quick text about being on your way. you didn’t bother looking at matt’s messages since you were going to see him anyways.

“hey guys, i am now in california.” you said making sure to vlog the experience. “i’m waiting for the uber now, pretty sure i’ll be at the triplets house in half an hour?”

while explaining further details, your uber pulled up and you ended the segment of your vlog there. in a matter of time, you would be in your boyfriend’s grasp.

-

“nick hurry, im outside!” you spoke into the phone, scanning the area for matt’s car just in case he decided to come home early. your camera was out making sure to get the footage for your viewers.

you could hear shuffling behind the door before it revealed your best friend, nick. “y/n, seriously i missed you so much.” nick said while embracing you in a hug before you could even get into the house. besides missing your boyfriend, you also missed nick and chris deeply. the three of you had formed such a tight friendship that it was hard to see them all leave.

“i missed you more nick.” you smiled, tears threatening to drop, but you refused, you could cry later. “say hi to the vlog.” you said while facing the camera towards nick. he smiled before greeting your viewers while bringing your luggage into his room.

“okay so matt and chris should be here in like 15 minutes, so im thinking you hide in here until further notice.” nick explained and you complied. you both took this time to catch up on everything you’ve missed while being apart, and including some funny footage into your vlog. before you knew it, you could hear the jingling of matt’s key’s before the front door opened. nick brought his finger to his lips and whispered, “come out whenever you’re ready.” before leaving his room to go greet his brothers.

you stood behind the door with your camera recording and facing you. a smile painted your face as you could hear matt’s voice faintly. “have you guys heard from y/n?” he asked his brothers.

“no, why?” nick asked trying to sound normal. “she said she was going out with her friends, then turned her location off. weird right?” matt explained before heading to the fridge to grab a soda.

“super weird.” nick agreed. then chris chimed in saying, “i ��dunno, last thing she sent me was a fucking deer tiktok.”

matt took a sip of his soda before saying, “i just hope she’s alright.”

upon hearing this, you looked at your camera frowning at the thought of worrying your boyfriend for this long. you thought this was the best moment, so you quietly opened nick’s door and slowly made your way down the stairs.

luckily for you, matt was faced away from you, but chris’ jaw immediately fell open. you quickly made the ‘shush’ motion with your hand but it was too late since matt noticed his brother’s expression before turning his head around.

you smiled while standing at the foot of the stairs before saying, “surprise.”

matt quickly dropped his soda and made his way over to you before engulfing you in the biggest hug ever. his head found it’s way to the crook of your neck, with his arms swirling tightly around your waist. you gestured for chris to grab the camera before you wrapped your arms around your boyfriend’s neck.

it wasn’t long until your shoulder was soaked with matt’s tears, and his soaked with yours. you laughed at the realization of finally being in his arms. the security you felt upon being in matt’s arms could compare to no other. being apart for so long only made your love for each other stronger as you both strived to wait it out until you’d finally reunite again.

to finally be with your person.

“i missed you so much, so so much.” matt croaked into your neck, not ready to let you out of his grasp, feeling as if you’ll be back in boston if he did. you smiled before wiping your tears with your free hand.

“i missed you more.”

-

A/N: yall should i do a part two of this with y/n in L.A.? lmk, and leave some requests for me to write!

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

i deserve you, and you deserve me

pairing: daddy!chan x chubby fem reader

genre: comfort, soft smut

word count: ~2.4k

warnings: reader is insecure about her body, mentions of weight, pet names, unprotected sex.

an: this is kind of a request from @httpdwaekki and what i mean by that is, i sort of wrote part of it and im saving the other part for another post. i hope that’s okay! i wanted this one to be very soft and sweet and the other part of the request that we talked about i feel like would be better if it were a little more… rough? lol im def planning on doing it when i have time tho so look out for that. :)

also, idk the results of the poll i just posted, but hopefully they’re pro daddy!chan because here’s this. <3

masterlist

‼ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⚠︎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ‼ adults only • mdni ‼ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ⚠︎ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ‼

it was early in the morning. the sun peeking through the blinds gently wakes you from your peaceful sleep. you open your eyes slowly and begin to stretch your body, tensing all of your muscles only to then let them relax. you were warm, the blankets soft against your skin. you hugged your stuffed animal tighter to your chest, not wanting to get up yet. your stretching and rustling must have caused a stir in your boyfriend. he made a noise of his own before rolling over to face you, his chest to your back, and throwing his arm over your waist. though you are facing away from him, you can picture what he looks like in your mind. his dark curly hair was a mess, you were sure, sticking up every which way. his eyes were heavy, refusing to open, his cheeks slightly flushed. he pulled you closer to his body, mumbling out a “good morning.” his voice was deep and thick with sleep.

you tried to hide it, but your body went rigid. you noticed that you were both still naked from the night before. and all you could focus on was how his hand gripped the fat of your stomach. and suddenly you felt disgusting. you wanted to hide from him, to pull away and cover yourself. but doing so would alert him to your feelings and you didn’t want to make him feel like he did something wrong. so you continued to lay there, a million horrible thoughts running through your mind. it was one thing to be naked together at night, when the light is minimal and you feel like he can’t see your body. but now it’s morning and the sun is bright. if he were to look now, he would see everything. every pound, every stretch mark, every hideous thing about you. you wouldn’t be able to hide it. you gently gripped his wrist, rubbing the back of his hand gently with your thumb, before lifting his arm off of your stomach. you moved his hand to rest in a slightly better spot, on your hip. he huffed a disapproving sound before putting his arm right back where it was originally and pulling you in even tighter.

“can’t hold you right if my hand is on your hip.” he mumbled, squeezing you lovingly, nuzzling his face into your shoulder.

you gave in and tried to enjoy his arms around you. you loved him, and he made you feel so safe. feeling his strong arms around you made you want to sink into him further. but you couldn’t get rid of the incessant tapping on the windows of your mind telling you that you’re too big for him. there’s too much of you. that he deserves someone skinny and that you deserve nothing. the noise in your head grew louder and louder, you body itching to be covered. you gently tried to pry yourself from his grip, reaching for your discarded pajamas on the floor. but of course, in true chan fashion, he wouldn’t let you go. he held you tight, grunting his disapproval.

“daddy im cold.” you lied. “i want my pajamas.”

he still held you tight, but now his hand started to travel. his fingers slowly ran up your stomach, over your rolls much to your dismay, until he was cupping your breast in his palm.

“i can think of a way to warm you up.” he says softly, his lips brushing against your shoulder blade, his thumb rubbing back and forth across your nipple.

you started to panic. what were you supposed to do now? you didn’t want to push him away, you didn’t want to make him feel unwanted. but at the same time, you couldn’t let him continue. couldn’t let him look at you.

he must have sensed your apprehension. his hand slid back down to your waist. “is something wrong, baby? we don’t have to if you’re not in the mood.” he sounded slightly disappointed. and you thought you should run with that. yes that’s it, you’re just not in the mood. but you always found it hard to lie to him. lying is what bad girls did and you were very much not a bad girl.

he pulled the cover higher up your body, tucking you in, shielding you from the non existent cold that he thought you felt.

“it’s not that i don’t want to..” you said quietly.

“then what is it, princess?” he asked, pressing soft kisses against your back. “do i have morning breath?” he chuckled. “i’ll go brush my teeth right now.” but he made no move to leave the bed, too warm and comfortable next to you.

when you didn’t answer him, and when you didn’t giggle at his teasing like you normally would, he paused. “baby what’s wrong?”

you took a deep breath, knowing the conversation that this statement was going to cause. you almost lied, almost told him that you just didn’t feel well, or that you were still sleepy. the lie danced on your lips but you couldn’t push it further. “i don’t want you to see me.” you said into the plush of your stuffie, the fabric muffling your voice.

“what was that?” he asked, gently tugging at your friend, pulling him away from your face.

“i- i don’t want you to.. to see me.” you said, your voice quiet but very clear this time.

“princess..” he cooed. he separated his body from yours, propping himself up on his elbow so he could look at your properly. he gently tugged on your arm, rolling you over onto your back. you let him pull you but held the cover tightly to your body, not letting any skin peek through. you looked up at him with glassy eyes that made his chest hurt. he cradled your face in his hand. “why don’t you want me to see you? hmm?”

“i don’t want you to see what i look like..”

“baby i love looking at you. don’t you know that?” he asked, trying to pull the cover out of your grip but you held on tight.

“but i’m so.. big. and you’re so lean and muscled. you’re beautiful. you deserve someone skinny and pretty.”

“hey stop that.” he scolded. “you are not big. you are perfect. you’re so perfectly beautiful and i don’t want anyone but you. i deserve you and you deserve me.” he pointed to himself and then pointed at you as he spoke. “yeah?”

you shook your head, disagreeing with him. he obviously deserved someone way better than you. everyone knew that. people wondered why you were with him. why he picked you. you could feel their judgement every time you entered a room holding his hand. could feel all of their eyes on you.

he could tell you were in your head about it, struggling to believe him. he tugged on the blanket once more. “cmon baby. let me see your beautiful body?”

you held firm to the blanket, shaking your head no.

“baby..” his tone was changing. still sweet, but more authoritative. “be a good girl and let me see.”

you bit you lip, unsure of what to do. he was pulling the daddy card. you hesitated still and he had decided that he had had enough. he sat up, his toned chest and abdomen flexing as he scooted himself to the edge of the bed. he sat there, legs dangling off the edge, and he looked back at you, still cowering under the blanket.

“come here, little one.” he said, his voice calm. you knew he meant business but he didn’t sound mad. he gestured with his hand for you to come to him before pointing to the small space of mattress between his legs. “now.”

you slowly pulled the cover off. and using your hands to hide yourself as best as you could, you crawled over to him.

“sit between daddy’s legs.” he said. “put your back to my chest.”

you did as he said, wrapping your arms around your middle.

he wrapped his arms around you as well, enveloping you in his warmth. he kissed your neck and your shoulder before looking straight ahead.

directly across from the bed, propped up against the wall, was a giant mirror. he looked at you in its reflection, your eyes looking down.

“baby look.” he said softly. he squeezed you in his arms, motioning with his head to the mirror. but you didn’t want to look. couldn’t look. you had been avoiding your reflection for a while now, the sight of your own body making you nauseous. you turned your head toward his face. he looked at your sweet eyes, filling with tears.

“i- i can’t.” you choked out, tears starting to fall down your cheeks.

“hey..” he swiped your tears with his fingers. “none of that.”

he kissed your quivering lips once before he spoke.

“you don’t have to look. but i’m going to.” he said. “and you know what i see?”

you shook your head no, sniffling.

he smiled down at you. “i see my beautiful little baby.” he looked back at the mirror. “i see your sweet face, your perfect skin, your cute soft little tummy.” he poked your stomach with his finger, causing you to squirm. a small smile flitted across your face. you could hear the sincerity in his voice. you believed he truly meant what he said and you softened a little to his touch, starting to feel at ease.

he made an mmm sound in his throat. “i see your gorgeous thighs..” his hands slid down to your legs, squeezing. “you’re so soft, baby. you’re like my little cloud.” he whispered as he kissed your neck. you tilted your head back to give him better access. he kissed and licked at your skin until your head felt light and fuzzy.

“and these..” he groaned, grabbing your breasts, one in each hand. “baby you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen..” he rolled your nipples in between his fingers and your breath caught in your throat. he rocked his hips, pushing his erection into you. “do you feel that baby?” he asked. “you feel what you do to me?”

your hands gripped his thighs, your arousal growing, your brain felt like TV static.

“only you do this to me, princess.” he licked your earlobe, a shiver running through your body. “you’re so fucking beautiful i just can’t help myself..”

his hands grabbed your hips. “hold on to my legs, baby.” and that was all the warning he gave you before he lifted you up and sat you down on his length. he sank into you easily, causing you both to groan. “see how easy i pick you up?” he rocked your hips back and forth. “you’re so tiny compared to me.”

he reached down and spread your legs apart. “fuck, princess.” he exhaled. “look how well you take me.”

and you did. for the first time, you looked at your reflection and it was.. hot.

wait, you looked hot.

your tightness was gripping him as he pumped in and out of you, your arousal dripping down him. he looked completely lost in you. his eyes were everywhere, looking at your bouncing breasts, glancing at the look of pleasure on your face, focusing on where his body met yours.

“baby you’re so perfect.” he panted. “my perfect girl.”

his fingers came to rub little circles where you needed him most and you tightened around him.

“cmon baby..” he moaned in your ear. “i’m not going to last much longer.”

you watched his reflection as he worked his hands on you. his beautiful fingers applying a little more pressure. you eyes closed and your head fell back on his shoulder. “ah ah baby.” he tutted. “eyes open for me. watch how stunning you are when you cum.”

your head lolled forward, and you struggled to keep your eyes open. but this time it wasn’t because you were repulsed, it was because he was making you feel so good. “there you go baby.” he cooed. “good girl.”

your walls fluttered around him. “daddy…” you whined.

“i know baby. feels so good, huh? do you see how beautiful you are?” his thrusts were starting to get sloppy, and your high was very quickly approaching. “see how perfect you are? fuck— you’re. so. perfect.” he punctuated his statement with his thrusts before he stilled and released inside of you. you watched as it leaked down, staining the sheets. after a moment, he started rolling his hips again, wanting to see you come undone.

your nails dug into the skin of his thighs as your release washed over you. you tried as hard as you could to keep your eyes open but you just couldn’t. the pleasure was too much and your body shook and went limp in his arms. he supported your weight, held you against him as he helped you ride it out.

“come back to me, baby.” he whispered against your shoulder, placing gentle kisses there. you eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze in the reflection of the mirror. your eyes shifted to your own face, flushed in post orgasm bliss. your hair was a mess but you had to admit the pink of your cheeks really made your eyes shine. they practically sparkled in front of you.

you turned your head to look at your boyfriend, his face was also flushed. he smiled, his little dimple poking out. you kissed him slowly. muttering i love you against his lips.

“i love you more, sweet girl.” he said, holding you just a little tighter. “and i’m going to spend the rest of my life showing you that. showing you just how beautiful you really are.”

and though you weren’t ready to see yourself exactly as he saw you, you really did feel beautiful in his arms. and you knew with his help, you could learn to love more of yourself.

and you knew, just with the way he was looking at you now, pure adoration on his face, his lips swollen and damp from your kissing, you knew.. you deserved him.

♡ pls reblog if you liked it! it truly helps a lot and makes me smile :) ♡

©hyunjins-orange-slice-too i do not give permission for this work or any of my work to be translated, copied, or reposted.

[heesdreamer]

YOU MAKE ME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles

WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)

WC ➩ 17k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)

Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.

When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.

She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.

You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.

When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.

Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.

You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.

It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.

Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.

Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.

You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.

You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.

Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.

Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.

Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.

You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.

A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.

You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.

“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.

“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.

He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.

He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.

The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.

“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.

“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.

“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.

“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”

You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.

“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.

“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”

This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.

You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.

“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”

“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”

——

You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.

When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.

The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.

Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.

“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”

You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.

“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.

“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”

“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.

He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.

You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.

Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.

He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.

Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.

“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.

“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.

He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.

You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.

“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”

It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.

You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.

The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.

“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.

“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”

You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.

Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.

“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.

It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.

You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.

At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.

Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.

You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.

“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.

“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.

“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.

It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.

“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.

“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”

The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.

“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.

“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”

“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.

“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.

“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.

You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.

“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”

He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.

“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.

“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.

“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.

He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.

The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.

You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.

You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.

“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.

He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”

The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.

You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.

You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.

When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.

It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.

“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.

“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”

“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”

His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.

You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.

“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.

You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.

He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.

It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”

You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.

You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.

It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.

It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.

——

The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.

Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.

Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.

It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.

Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.

Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.

Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.

You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.

You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.

The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.

It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.

He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.

He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.

It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.

You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.

“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.

“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”

“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.

“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.

“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.

His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.

“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”

“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”

“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.

“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.

“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.

You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.

When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.

You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.

It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.

——

“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.

You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.

“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”

“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.

You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.

Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.

For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.

He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.

“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.

You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”

He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.

You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.

“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.

You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.

“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.

His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.

——

You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.

You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.

Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.

He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.

Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.

The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.

When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.

You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.

Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.

“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.

You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.

You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.

He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.

It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.

Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.

“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.

“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.

He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.

“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”

“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.

Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.

He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.

You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.

“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”

The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.

“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.

“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.

“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”

He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.

“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”

You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.

“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.

“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”

“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.

Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.

His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.

He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.

“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”

“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.

“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.

“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.

His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.

“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.

He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.

You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.

He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.

“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.

“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.

“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”

“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”

You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.

“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.

Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.

You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.

“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.

You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.

“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.

Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.

“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”

“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.

A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.

He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.

Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.

“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”

With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.

When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.

You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.

The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.

You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.

You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.

But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.

Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.

You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.

You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.

“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”

You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.

“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”

You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.

“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.

He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.

“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”

“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.

You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.

It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.

You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.

When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.

Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.

“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.

Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.

“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.

You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.

“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.

“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.

“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.

You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.

“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.

“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”

You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.

“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.

He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.

“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”

He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.

He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.

Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.

“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound

“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”

“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.

You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.

He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.

“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”

Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.

“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.

“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.

The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.

“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”

“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.

You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.

“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.

You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.

“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.

Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.

You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.

“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.

“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”

“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.

He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.

His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.

“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.

Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.

You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.

If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.

You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.

“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.

“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.

He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.

“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.

“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.

“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”

You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.

You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.

“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.

“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.

It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.

You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.

You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.

He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.

——

You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.

The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.

You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.

“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“

“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”

He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.

“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.

He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.

“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.

“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.

Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.

You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.

“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”

He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.

“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”

“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.

“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”

He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.

You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.

The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.

“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.

“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.

“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”

You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.

How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.

“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.

You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.

He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.

You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.

“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.

You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.

Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.

He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.

You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

[cleolinda]

Tuesday’s debate between Trump and his opponent Kamala Harris in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, had several eyebrow-raising moments but none moreso than when Trump, echoing his latest online-born conspiracy, baselessly accused thousands of legal migrants in Springfield, Ohio, of stealing, killing, and eating pet dogs off the street.

The conspiracy was fact-checked in real time by ABC’s David Muir, who noted that city officials had looked into the claim and found it to be baseless. But the damage was already done.

Nearly a week later, Vance found himself once again answering for his running mate’s actions after days of shocking fallout in Springfield, where residents have reported fliers dropped by the Ku Klux Klan as well as several threats of bombings or mass shootings — the latest of which, at Wittenberg University, occurred Saturday night just hours before Vance would go on the air.

[…] On CNN, he seemingly admitted that his claims were lies, then continued by saying that he would keep spreading such tales, even knowing them to be untrue, if they resulted in the media talking about issues he claimed were still just as real despite the deception.

“If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that's what I'm going to do,” said the senator.

This is DANGEROUS shit aimed at the Haitian immigrant community for political gain

that is going to get people hurt if not outright killed, and this motherfucker just admitted it’s not true. Which is maybe the most important thing you will read about the whole ordeal.

“But I saw pictures!!!”

Spoiler: the geese were roadkill.

The woman behind an early Facebook post spreading a harmful and baseless claim about Haitian immigrants eating local pets that helped thrust a small Ohio city into the national spotlight says she had no firsthand knowledge of any such incident and is now filled with regret and fear as a result of the ensuing fallout.

Backlash was swift, with replies ranging from, “I find it strange that a self-professed ‘hillbilly’ doesn’t know what whole chickens look like,” to, “HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT CHICKENS LOOK LIKE WITH THEIR LEGS ATTACHED YOU F****ING DIPSHIT.” Oliver Alexander, an open-source intelligence analyst, weighed in, sharing images of plucked chickens looking remarkably similar to whatever was being grilled in the video. “Clearly chicken you weirdo. Dude’s never seen chicken that wasn’t dino-nugget shaped,” he wrote.

[imaginesig]

Paris 2024

Paul Aron x Olympian!Reader

SMAU

y/c = your country

What is your journey like to gold? I'm in love with Ilona Maher and wanted to make another Paul Aron fic, this is the outcome

ynln

liked by annaaron_, paularon_, ilonamaher, and 829,382 others

ynln: Paris, here I come 🏅🏉

tagged: y/c_rugby

ynln good time to say im in love with @/ilonamaher ??

ilonamaher perfect time! cant wait to see ya soon

ynln "miss rabbit has fainted, miss rabbit has fainted again"

paularon_ 🤨🤨

friend1 the first pic??😭

ynln reenactment of me when I found out 😭 I was in disbelief

paularon_ you're gonna kill it!! Bring home gold, I love you ❤️

ynln I love you too!!

friend2 yes ma'am 👏

lettiemng so exciting!!

olliebearman big accomplishment

aronralf congrats! Show em what you're made of

annaaron_ find me a hot Olympian

ynln ill be scouting 🫡

load more

paularon_

liked by user3, ynln, aronralf, and 818,828 others

paularon_ off week ☀️🌊

Tagged: aronralf, annaaron_, ynln

ynln so much fun 🫶🫶

annaaron_ let this trip live on as it’s the first time team women beat you in EVERYTHING

ynln 📢📢📢

Paularon_ because you guys CHEATED

aronralf 📢📢📢

Ynln don’t copy me while spreading lies

User1 not the Aaron + Y/n vacay

user2 y/n looks gorgeous

user3 the sibling pic is the cutest ever

User4 I can’t decide who I’m jealous of Y/n or Paul

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ynln

liked by user3, annaaron_, user82, and 791,929 others

ynln: ootd 👙🤿

tagged: annaaron_, paularon_, aronralf

used1 omg what are you reading??

ynln in that pic “Fathers and Sons”

annaaron_ early morning surf sesh >>>>

ynln without the boys >>>>

Paularon_ looking good 😘

user2 stop she can surf too??

user3 it’s so unfair

user4 right?? Y/n leave some talent for the rest of us!!

Teammate1 calm before the storm

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ynln posted 4 stories!

captions: (1) on Wednesdays we wear pink (2) 🎶: As It Was by Harry Styles

captions: (1) midday flight? no problem just go on a running date early! (2) back to reality 🏉

ynln

liked by teammate1, teammate2, user43, and 892,929 others

ynln: hearing up 🔥🏅👩‍🏭

Tagged: y/c_rugby

paularon_ damnnnnnn 🍑

ynln thank you 🤭🤭 (I will make fun of you for this comment for the rest of your life)

teammate1 are those my workout shorts??

ynln …no

user1 ok leg day

user2 she said thick thighs save lives

user3 she can save me

user4 I need the leg day routine

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paularon_

liked by ynln, user33, hitechgp, and 917,828 others

paularon_: not the result we wanted, but we'll learn and come back stronger

Tagged: no one

Ynln still so proud!! You raced hard and had an amazing quali session. I’m sorry I had to miss it but I love you ❤️❤️

Paularon_ ❤️

User1 miss girl is leaving for the Olympics tomorrow and says sorry for not being at his race

user2 gold metal for the best gf

user3 Pole Aron will be back!!

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ynln

liked by ilonamaher, y/c_rugby, annaaron_, and 872,928 others

ynln: a hot new bombshell has entered the Villa

tagged no one

ilonamaher show em what they can’t have‼️

ynln show em what a catch you are‼️

paularon_ MY hot bombshell but get it ig

ynln you’re the only connection I’m looking for dw

teammate1 that last 2 picsreally screams sexy

Ynln ikr 😏😍

Teammate2 irresistible

annaaron_ remember to mention the bombshell at home

ynln I’d never forget

user1 I love the inside Love Island joke it seems most athletes are in on

user2 right I live for Ilona’s tik toks

user3 I hope we get Y/n cameos

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ynln

liked by teammate1, teammate5, teammate8, and 719,992 others

ynln: bronze bound…

tagged y/c_rugby

Teammate …but we’re not stopping there

ynln HELL YEA

Paularon_ I’ve been on the edge of my seat all week

ynln it’s not stopping til the very end

user1 the ft screenshot is too cute

user2 such hardworking ladies

user3 push on to gold!!

user4 I just love women

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paularon_ posted a story

caption: 🇪🇪🔜🇫🇷 @/aronralf @/annaaron_

replies:

ynln

Paul Aron

what are you doing

where are you going

Smh

I thought you knew your flags

I do

I guess what I want is an explanation

well... you'll be in a semifinals soon and with the way stats are looking you guys will fly right through no problem so...

so???

the aron family is making a trip to Paris

we're celebrating a metal either way

I'm crying Paul

thats too sweet

you guys shouldn't have, its hard enough to wrangle everyone together you shouldn't have used that time to fly out

trust me we all want to be there for you and it'll be a nice trip reguardless

plus we all hate that this much of the games have gone by through a tv screen

I love you guys, I love you

we (but mostly I) love you too

aronralf posted a story!

caption: ✈️🥖 @/paularon_ @/annaaron_

replies:

ynln

this is insane

ive taken you've already messaged Paul

yes and it ended in tears

you guys are crazy

true, but your bf is the craziest

with or without us Paul was gonna be in those stands

someone must be cutting onions in a room nearby

sap

I don't appreciate the attitude 🙄

annaaron_ posted a story!

caption: catching flights not feelings @/aronralf @/paularon_

replies:

ynln

first off LOVE that color on you

and second I loath you guys for being this sweet

the sweatshirt is yours to borrow anytime

and as if you wouldn't do the same thing

flying out on a small hope we dont choke and lose next round??

Y/n, you go to as many races of Paul's as you possible can (at your own expense) and watch the ones you cant live no matter the time, you constantly ask Ralf about his endeavors and keeps tabs on stats and such to bring up with him later, AND you listen to all my rants no matter how important and remember the details

flying out to France is nothing compared to the effort you put into this family

I love you guys so much

we love you too

now get some rest to kick ass, I didn't fly in the same row as my brothers for 4 hours to see you get less than gold

💖

💖

ynln

liked by y/c_rugby, aronralf, user4, and 728,829 others

ynln: finals bound!! Im so so grateful for these fantastic ladies who have taught me so much!! I cant taste victory already

tagged: y/c_rugby, teammate1, teammate2, teammate3

paularon_ smashed it 💪👏

ynln light work🥱🥱

teammate1 can’t wait for the next match

Teammate2 coffee for good luck?

Ynln always

user1 I’m never more patriotic than when the women of my country play

user2 my whole family has been captivated by you girls

annaaron_ and you were scared about choking

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paularon_ posted 2 stories!

Caption: (1) Y/n you are so amazing in so many different ways. You are hardworking, talented, humble, funny, and beautiful. I've watched as your eyes light up when it comes to rugby and ive watched as you poured your heart into every minute you play. (2) No one deserves the gold more than you and the rest of the team. Every single women out there has what it takes and more. Every one of you have spent countless hours dreaming and working towards this. So congratulations on how far you've come, and best of lucking taking that final step up to the top of the podium! P.S. Ma armastan sind, Y/n

replies

ynln

paul

you cant just post things like this with no warning

I started crying right before media stuff

oops 😬🤷‍♂️

dont be so smug

but seriously thank you for all the support! Without it I know I would've lost it because of the pressure long ago, I truly owe so much of what got me here to you!! I love you so much ❤️

I love you too ❤️

olliebearman

please pass on a good luck from me and Estelle! We've been watching

will do!!

dinobeganovic

rooting for her💪

tell Y/n she's got fans in all corners of the globe

thank you, she appreciates the support!

annaron_

liked by ynln, user32, paularon_, and 193,929 others

annaaron_: meet me in Paris 🥐☕️

tagged aronralf, paularon_

ynln gorgeous gorgeous girl

annaaron_ we’re gonna have so much fun once the Olympics are over

paularon_ photo credit??

annnaaron_ you gave it to yourself

user1 you ate that first pic up

used2 so you’re telling me the entire Aron family is in Paris for Y/n??

user3 I’m in love with all the siblings at this point

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olympic_updates

liked by user3, user82, user92, and 993,929 others

olimpic_updates: Y/C rugby star Y/n L/n's boyfriend as been spotted in person for the final match! Aron was also spotted with the rest of his family heading toward the stands!

tagged no one

user1 couple goals

user2 THE power couple

user3 I need Y/n to win gold and Paul to win the championship

used4 the ultimate power move

user5 I just looked at my boyfriend and sighed

user6 he looks so good!!

user7 one thing about Paul is he’s gonna show up and show 👏 up👏

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paularon_ posted 2 stories!

captions: (1) game time @/annaaron_ (2) THESE GIRLS ARE GOLD MEDALISTS!!!!

ynln posted a story!

caption: its been a long time coming but...

ynln

liked by dinobeganovic, lettiemng, paularon_, and 983,239 others

ynln: So many words, so little space. I am so grateful of everyone who have supported me up to this point, of these wonderful ladies who have taught me something new everyday, and to Y/C for taking a chance on me! Same thing in '28?

tagged y/c_rugby

paularon_ ❤️❤️

ynln ❤️❤️

annaaron_ thats my sister in law!!

ynln we're not married??

annaaron_ well is Paul doesn't put a ring on it than I will

lettiemng I love you!! Its so deserved

dinobeganovic you were amazing!! All the love

ynln DINOOOOOOO 🥹🫶

aronralf truely inspiring! Congrats 💪🥇

ynln thank you!!!

user1 YES MA'AM

user2 me and my little sister have seen screaming at the tv!!

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paularon_

liked by user1, user43, ynln, and 823,983

paularon_: I AM SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! After seeing the mass amount of time and every you've put into rugby I have no doubt in my mind that you deserve this. To mark this special occasion, I'm announcing my retirement from racing to become a full time WAG. I love you so much, Y/n 🥇🏉❤️

tagged ynln

ynln I love you so much ❤️

paularon_ I love you too ❤️

user5 second pic is goals

user1 theyre such goals

user2 my standards were raised so high by him

user3 when they panned over to him celebrating after showing Y/n 😭

user4 such a gorgeous couple

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Bonus- after the olympics

ynln

liked by aronralf, lettiemng, user43, and 829,392 others

ynln: city of love 💖

tagged paularon_, annaaron_

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