#im literally an asshole though so thanks dad for that

[janitorhutcherson]

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt

surprise, bitches!!! im giving yall a lil taste of some more writing. im not really on hiatus (obvi, i post every 5 minutes) but i've been sooooo busy that i haven't been able to post half as much. with that being said, here are some more in depth headcanons ab yandere!mike. :p could not have done this without @futturmand literally helping me (coming up w/) most of these. thank u bae.

warnings: drugging, violence, sex, daddy kink, abusive tendencies

------------------

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt was kinda an asshole. to his coworkers, random customers at the mall, anybody who came too close to you, and yes, even sometimes to you. he was the kind of guy who had a semi-permanent grimace on his face. the corners of his mouth would turn into smiles typically only when he was with abby or you two were alone and he could let his guard down. of course, even then, the moment you caught an attitude, that grimace would appear right back on his face. his demeanor was typically gruff. he was the kind of guy most people didn't want to mess with. this meant any male coworkers around you would be tested their fate to even glance at you the wrong way and god forbid mike saw one of them brush something off of your shoulder. that would truly be the end of them.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt is very obsessive over safety. after losing garrett, he has this urge to do nothing but to protect. this means that mike is the type of guy to want your location at all times. not only that, but he wants to know what you're doing, who you're with, and what time you'll be home. he expects a text when you leave, a text when you get there, an hourly check-in, then a text on your way home. it brings him a sense of peace, knowing where you are. he watches life360 obsessively when you're not in his sight, watching your little bubble move through wherever you may be. he's constantly checking the speed of the car you're in, occasionally stalking your friend's instagram stories to see where you are. he's overprotective to the extent that it can be overbearing, but at the end of the day it's endearing knowing he cares that much.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt uses the fact that you're younger than him to manipulate you. he's less about violence or anything physical and instead uses his words. he will constantly remind you how helpless you are without him, how he has so much more life experience than you. he'll point out randomly when you mention not knowing how to do something, saying something like, "see, babydoll, where would you be without me? that's right, nowhere. you need me to take care of you." he's also the kind of guy to eventually make you financially dependent on him if he could ever afford it. he would never put you in that spot until he was comfortable enough to do so, though, meaning it might be a loooong time before that ever happened.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt treats you less like a partner and more like a little sibling, kinda like he treats abby. as strange as it is, he also feels a paternal instinct to protect you. it comes from his deep-rooted feelings of abandonment. he lost garrett, his mom, his dad, and sometimes he feels like abby hates him. he loves that you listen to him, that he can command you to do something and you'd be so good for him. he absolutely adores being able to control different aspects of your life, making you completely reliant on him. it makes him feel special and needed, which he hasn't felt in a very long time. he loves nothing more than when he gets to scold you almost like a parent, your eyes falling to the ground, that adorable wounded puppy look he loves so much taking over your face.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt is incredibly clingy and touch starved. he wants to have a hand on you 24/7. forget having personal space, because you are not getting it with him. he'd follow you around, watching you everywhere you'd go. his hands would grip onto your hips so tightly sometimes it'd feel like they were glued to them. he'd always have his arms around you, kissing at your neck, nipping in a way you felt shouldn't be shown in public. mike didn't care, he wanted everyone to know you belonged to him in every single way. he controlled you, and if he wanted to embarrass you and turn your face red by leaving purple marks on your neck in the middle of a shopping plaza, then so be it. you would take it or be punished.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt who of course uses his sleeping pills on you when you're being a little brat. he isn't violent with you for the most part except for the rare occasion when he will hold you down onto the bed until you'll listen, but otherwise he opts for something simpler. when you're being a little too frustrating for him, going against his every command or you're not feeling like being held, mike will simply crush up his sleeping pills, slip them into your water. he's careful with you once you doze off, never abusing you in any way. all he will do is tuck you into your shared bed and hold your body in his arms, whispering sweet nothings as you're off in your own sweetly drugged up world.

olderbfyandere!mike schmidt would most definitely have a thing for being called daddy. sorry guys, it had to be said. hot take, i guess. considering he did want to protect you so thoroughly, he loved when you'd call him daddy. it made him feel like your protector, like you knew he was the one that did everything for you. it was so crazy how such a simple word could change his whole day. he loved hearing it fall out of your lips as he'd brush through your hair or wash your body off in the shower. "thank you, daddy," you'd hum and he'd grin ear to ear. "you're welcome, babydoll," he'd always say, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Hello<3 can you do Masky, Toby, Jeff and Ben with a mean teen readerr? Like there just mad all the time but its because of trauma or something?:0 I LOVE YOU SMM TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MLLL!!<33

Jeff and Tim are NOT gonna take that shit 😰

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masky

Honestly the dad in him comes out a bit

Like his whole thing is "what makes you think you get to act like that?"

He gets it, you've had a rough life but so has EVERYONE ELSE HERE

Just because your life sucked doesn't mean you get to be an asshole

He will treat you like a baby

Partly just to tick you off, and partly because if you act like a baby, you're gonna get treated like one

He'll put you in time out, he'll take things away, he'll put hot sauce in your mouth, etc

And the thing is, you can't even tattle to slender because slender agrees with Tim!

I think maybe here and there he'd ask you why you're always so angry, and what he can do to help, and if you don't answer, he doesn't mind because he understands

But if you do answer, your relationship begins to grow, and he learns how to help you out better

He doesn't want you to be mad all the time, because even though it might not seem like it sometimes, he does care about you

But as much as he cares, he also isn't gonna let a literal child bully him

He's way too old for that shit >:/

Toby

He's kind of scared of you

He just stays out of your way

His relationship with you is similar to his relationship with Jeff

He and Jeff are friends, yes, but they aren't close

And most of the time, Toby will choose to avoid Jeff rather than hangout with him

That's how he sees you too

You're a good kid! He just doesn't wanna upset you

The very few interactions you have with him are typically just him sucking up to you, or him doing his best to tiptoe around everything that could upset you

And because of this, you do take advantage of him sometimes

"Toby go get me a snack"

"I dunno y/n, don't you think you could go...get it yourself this time?" As he says this almost every word has a whistle or click after it, showing how nervous he is

You will slowly turn your head to look at him with a glare "I know you aren't calling me lazy"

"No, no! I-I would never! I'm just saying-"

"OH! So you're calling me fat then?"

"No!"

"Then go get me a snack before i make you regret the day your mommy queefed you out"

He REALLY needs to learn to stand up for himself smh

And typically he is pretty good at standing up for himself but yk

Kids scare him

Jeff

With his explosive anger issues you will not last more than 3 seconds around him omg

He is not above fist fighting a child btw

I mean yk, he'd get punished for it but that doesn't stop him

The second you try anything around him he checks you real quick

If you back off, he will get a boost of pride and say some shit like "Yeah, that's what I thought"

If you double down with it, it will likely turn into an all out screaming match

Until someone pulls him away and is like "dude you can't be fighting with little kids :/"

He will always call you names and always be sour around yo

Crotch goblin, little shit, failed abortion

you know, the usual <333

Honestly im gonna be so real with you for a second, the way I see yalls relationship going is only to one drastic side of a spectrum

You could bond over your anger issues and become best friends/siblings with an unbreakable bond

OR you could become so sour towards each other that the caretakers of the manor literally have a meeting about changing your schedule a bit to get around Jeff's

No in between its only one of those two

Yeah, Jeff doesn't take no shit from anyone

Even children, gotta teach em young <333

Ben

Ben, being so chill genuinely does not care what you do to him

Since he doesn't have a physical body, you can't fight him either

So sometimes he will pick fights with you just to make you mad

I'm desperately trying to make Ben's section more than 3 bullets long

I'm telling you he literally does not care, does not react, NOTHING.

You could be screaming at him and he will just continue about his day like you aren't even there

Which of course, makes you more mad

But again, he doesn't care

Making you try harder and harder just to get a reaction out of him

The only reaction you will get is out of Jeff, and we already talked about his dramatic ass

[certifiedstarrr]

After Party | Pt. 2 | ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* | Chris Sturniolo

P1

warnings: swearing, alcohol, mentions of drugs, and smut.

if you don't like smut, find smth else to do.

she/her pronouns will be used!!

pink = y/n

green = lia

blue = matt

orange = chris

purple = nick

Word Count: 710

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧

**NOT PROOFREAD**

b/n: sorry if this sucks ass, first fanfic ive ever written.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧

"Yes the fuck we are."

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ:

The time reads 10:52pm. My hair is done, makeup is too, and my dress is on.

To Lia:

you otw??

read 10:53pm

From Lia:

yes im coming down ur block rn

read 10:53pm

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ:

I see Lia's car, plan is in action. First, I take off my heels and I place them in my hand, I open my window, I breathe out. I'm ready. I've got this.

I've climbed down my tree and I'm walking over to Lia's car, on the way over I start putting back on my heels.

"Plan success!"

"Yesss thanks so much Lia"

"Anything for you girl"

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧･✧･

We arrive at Noah's house a couple minutes late but people were still walking through much later anyway. The beer pong, bottles upon bottles of alcohol, and people sucking eachother's faces off; typical house party. But in the corner of the living room I see people that I never thought I'd see ever again. The. Fucking. Sturniolos.

I saw him and his brothers talking to somebody. Lia went to go talk to somebody who she thought was cute or some shit. And so I was now left alone.

Well I'd atleast want to be drunk so I won't remember any of the fucking feelings and emotions or regret shit. I grab a half-empty bottle of beer and down it, it plunges down my throat and it feels freshening.

We used to live in the same neighborhood when we were little. I was closer with Matt and Nick, but never with Chris; in fact we were always arguing, fighting; we hated eachother. I was extremely sad when they moved away, emotions mostly for Matt and Nick though. I cried for days on-end, not wanting to go to school without them.

When I caught eye contact with Nick it was like getting the top item on your Christmas list. The way his face lit up was like seeing him as a little kid again, and his smile deserved everything in the world. I went over to him hugging him tight and even letting a silent tear fall out of happiness.

"Oh my god y/n! How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, how about you?"

"I'm good, but it's been so long."

"You know, when you guys moved away I cried on-end. I never wanted to go to school without you guys."

"Me neither, I begged my mom and dad not to go anywhere."

As soon as Matt noticed that Nick was gone and looked over his face also lit up with joy, just like when he was little. I also hugged him tight.

"Y/n! How are you it's like I thought I'd never see you again"

"I'm doing great Matt, what about you?"

"You know I've doing great, after we moved away I gave my parents the silent treatment for days."

"Ha, guess we all didn't like your parents after that."

"Guessing not."

Chris walked over to us and shot me a look. Forget him and his attitude y/n. I thought to myself.

"Long time no-see Chris."

"Yeah whatever."

"Okay don't be a asshole Chris."

"It's literally been almost 10 years Chris and you still can't greet her correctly or nicely?"

"Guys it's fine. Just let him be."

✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:

We talked for a good while and I introduced Lia to them, they seemed to be fond of eachother.

At this point I was extremely drunk and I couldn't remember a single thing. But I last thing remember was drinking bottles of alcohol.

✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:

I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine. Was I in some random guy's bed? Or did I have sex with somebody I didn't know.

Well atleast I didn't remember anything. Right?

✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:

a/n: just ask to be on the taglist!! and my reqs are always open!

@lovingmattysposts

[vryivs]

time for the hsr update liveblog

im gonna sob. jing yuan is such a Dad. yanqing is such a Son

thinking so much about yanqing being forced to act older than his age but getting to let loose and actually be a kid when it comes to the things hes interested in

i love him

"miss march" LOOK AT MY POLITE SON!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!

save my son from bureaucracy. and also from my daughter

ok why does huaiyan have and old man model when its canon that xianzhou natives dont physically age

hes old enough to be blades master so hes not an outworlder. what gives

he talks like a man who's had to spend extended time listening to the ramblings of a toddler and now is fazed by nothing

fu hua please give these old men a break

the fact yanqing looks to jing yuan to answer questions... oh baby

also jing yuan is so proud of him its so cute

hes so polite. even though she stole yanzhuo

oh yunli is an ASSHOLE

'you lost your sword because you were unfocused and now you have to fight me to get it back instead of expecting me to hand it over'

lmao the dad voice came out

i really like how its clear that yanqing is a lot more even tempered now. he only even entertains the idea of fighting yunli when she directly challenges him (after insulting him too!)

and when jing yuan warns him he immediately steps back

baby's first diplomatic mission

yunli darling i think yanzhuo is scared because it was possessed by a demon, not because yanqing is mean

this is so sweet. he really is jing yuans son

and remembering blades comment that jing yuan was a hothead as a kid. oh man. the parallels. oh boy

ok im not crazy. thank god

JING YUAN LORE

man it must be crazy for huaiyan to see this rebellious kid who became a knight against his parents wishes eventually succeed teng xiao and grow into one of the best generals the xianzhou has seen

i am ignoring the death flags yet again

hes so sincere its adorable

ok bestie cool it down. you have bigger fish to fry

I AM IGNORING THE DEATH FLAGS

jing yuan you cant die. he will be orphaned AGAIN

i dont know if he can take that

the parallel of jing yuan being told hes overthinking things by huaiyan and yanqing overthinking jing yuan

he is literally jing yuans mini me its so cute

yanqing, dan heng and jing yuan all sharing the same thoughts. i love their dynamic. they are the understanderrrrrs

MISTER DAN HENG

sobs

man yanqing is too young to be implicated in political intri-

hang on. if the abundance yanqing theory is true its gonna look real bad on jing yuan for looking after him. and like. that would be the ideal twist for this

but its only a continuance its fine nothing too important will happen

i hope

YANQING STEPPING IN TO PROTECT LINGSHA HES SO CUTE

hes good boy. jing yuan raised him well

this is maybe the first praise he's had to his face like. ever

at least in the entire game

well now we know why jing yuan was so uneasy

huaiyan's remark was so pointed jesus.

im curious to see where they'll go with this because i bet jy feels guilty as all hell

yes yunli thats what trauma does. and adding to it by insulting him and confiscating his property will totally help

she is so. 13. this is a 13yo

its striking me that yunli is everything yanqing haters claim that he is

i really hope yunli gets some character development. i can see all the yanqing stans realising this ^ and talking smack about her.

btw. dont do that. thats my 13yo edgy emo daughter

FEIXIAO IS SO HOT

well. i guess i do need a wind dps

oh my god shes so hot. oh my god

hes so excited to see her this is so cute

hey. she. she kinda looks like kiana. now that i think about it. with her hair like that and the blue eyes

ok its fine they dont share a va. false alarm. no kiana yet

bur GOD does she make me nostalgic for the og

kiana would absolutely say this

acheron come get your girl

DIPLOMACY KING!!!!

fearing how westerners will react to him being ticked off by yunli because they dont understance face

every girlboss must have her malewife

this warms my heart

she really is kaslana coded

[the-halfling-prince]

tell us about harlowwwww plz (if u feel like it)

Yessssssssss it's Harlow time BABEY. I'm just gonna throw out some completely not interconnected thoughts about various things from the series I don't think I've talked about yet.

Harlow Stormrage has a bad case of "I can fix him" syndrome and honestly considering the fact that she got the dude who hated her the most to be her ally in the first book, it's entirely understandable.

Harlow and Tiger's moms were like literally the best friends ever. Just two cool adventurer ladies who go on their little journeys and then like... Disappear never to be seen again.

There are multiple characters who originally were only gonna show up in the last two books but their characters were so flat. I just had them so I could have like... the people, if that makes any sense. But most of them I did create some book plots to throw in there and now they're some of my fave characters (y'all who know how much I love the Karlsson twins would think I was crazy for how they are barely there in the original plots. Holly and Eerikki Karlsson im so sorry)

Also sort of building off of that last point, the character of Harlow's dad was supposed to be like completely irredeemable in the first ideas of the book. He really sucked. And then he was supposed to die in the last book, not even as an act of heroic sacrifice. Just like... Oof he's dead. And it was supposed to be Harlow struggling with the fact that she missed and grieved him even though he was a shit dad. But when I added more than just the three books, I expanded on his character and I was like "okay I can work with this way better" and now he feels like a normal person. And based on how I wrote Harlow's mom, I don't think she would've married someone who was a complete and total asshole. Of course he does still make the god awful decision to disown Harlow at one point but then it's explained later, and while it's not excusable, it does make more sense as to why he did it. And after Tiger "dies" (he's fine. Could you imagine if he wasn't? Gosh that would've been awful if I had actually decided to kill him off. Let's just say y'all do NOT want to hear what I wrote for the original final scene of the books it's depressing as shit) Harlow's dad is way more human and sympathetic to his mourning child and like it's a whole thing where he finally sees her as a child.

Y'all I'm constantly reminding myself "oh yeah these characters are babies. What." Like when I started the books I was as old as Harlow in book one. Now I'm as old as like Careless in the last book. (Also I hated Careless when I was 12. Now he's my fave I love my archer son)

Y'all I need y'all to know the amount of characters that we're originally supposed to die in the last book but I got too attached. Like obvi there was Harlows dad and Tiger (Yeah weird literally why did I do that) but there was also like half of the mentioned adults (I was so ready to just invent some orphans and for why) and also Eerikki Karlsson. Who in this plot líne had like no part and there would've been no weight to his death because who even was that guy??? Anyway yeah I'm glad I got over that. 14 yo me just liked being edgy and torturing my readers ig.

Well that's all I've to say for now, thank you for your time

[cctommyspluraladventures]

use this ask as an excuse to ramble about anything you want :D

OOOOH YAY! RAMBLING! I LOVE TO RAMBLE. RAMBLE IS MY MIDDLE NAME GUYS IM TELLING YOU. (<—— IS LYING)

ANYWAY, IM WORKING ON OUR INDIVIDUAL PINTEREST BOARDS. TRANSFERRING FACECLAIMS FROM OUR MAIN ACCOUNT TO OUR SIDE ONE! IM MAKING PICREWS OF MEMBERS WHO ARENTS ANY SORT OF INTROJECT LIKE AJ! HE CAN BE AN ASSHOLE BUT I LOVE HIM!

IM ALSO ADDING ANY EXTRA FACECLAIMS I CAN FIND! WE HAVE SOOOOO MANY BITCHES IN THIS CRIB. LITERALLY FOUND A NEW ONE LIKE YESTERDAY! LIKE WE NEEDED ANOTHER MURDER DRONES FICTIVE /AFF

THE INDIVIDUAL BOARDS ARE GOING TO INCLUDE SO MUCH ABOUT US! THINGS WE LIKE OR WANT AND THINGS LIKE GENDER!!

WE ARE GOING TO USE THE ACCOUNT TO COLLECT XENOGENDERS AND NEOPRONOUNS AND SUCH BECAUSE THE BODYS DAD DELETED THE LAST ACCOUNT THAT TOOK US TWO YEARS TO GATHER ALL THE PINS WE DID :(

ITS WHATEVER THOUGH! WE ARE TURNING 18 SOON SO WE CAN DO WHAT WE WANT!

I ALSO GET TO USE THE ACCOUNT FOR WHATEVER OTHER THINGS I WANT! LIKE MAKING A GIANT COLLECTION IF IDENTITIES SORTED SO PEOPLE CAN FIND CERTAIN ONES THAT WILL FIT THEM! AND A PRONOUN BOARD TOO!!

OOOH ALSO, WE HAVE BEEN HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE AND STUFF AND THE BODYS DAD AND STEPMOM GOT US A PRIZE!! THEY WONT TELL US WHAT IT IS BUT ITS COMING IN TOMORROW!!

OHHHHH I LOVE GETTING THINGS!

CW!: MEDICATION TALK, EATING DISORDER TALK!

CAN YOU GUYS TELL WE HAVE ADD LMAO? WE GOT MEDS FOR IT TODAY AND WE START TOMORROW! HOPEFULLY WE CAN START FOCUSING MORE AND ZONING OUT(/DISSOCIATING??) LESS! ITS ALSO USED TO TREAT BED AND WE HAVE THAT SO ITS A WIN WIN!!!

I LOVE YOU ANON! /P THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME DO THIS!! <3333

[takeru-tenkuuji]

Please do tell us more about your ocs Ikki and Ace bc I too have brainrot about them 👀👀👀 (only if you want to of course) -🟡

anon im so sorry about what im going to subject you and many people to (if they read this (or the attempted version 2 that i tried to recall from memory due to me losing this draft originally, neither of which is advised)

***basically i found this draft lost in god knows where?? its the same but it..sounded more coherent than the other one and i just think itd be silly if i just had both left out there...lol..the only thing updated is that i added an extra doodle. everything else is untouched)

um something something heed suspension of disbelief. like ive warned, this is basically something totally made up in my head to the point that it deviates severely from the work's original intentions and such

but siiiiiiince you aaaaasked (cry) and i am currently sick with the flu so literally sick in the head i will do this until i think oh god, i have to be put down and never come back to the internet because i put my shitty yaoi au in here so in detail

we'll start with adjustments to revice's general plot (lol)

so this is an au where for me, george rly goes for the "make the ultimate kamen rider" guy. his father stays forever an asshole dedicated to finding shit about science, and would only create shit like the weekend to clean up his mess, but not because he feels genuine remorse. this (imo) gives george more reason to continue on hating his dad(?), and thinking he's creating something to surpass him.

george's obsession is created by his father neglecting him in his childhood and leaving him with just kamen rider to watch and play with while he worked. george grows up with a growing vengeance to beat his father at his own game i guess. feeds into a potential narrative parallel with olteca? idk

so george sets his sights on potential candidates: igarashi daiji, and kadota hiromi. both seek some sort of..justice or strength, proving one's worth, (till it all goes horribly wrong via canonical events). and of course, the inheritor of revice, ikki comes into play. george gambles on this.

in this version, they also find that ikki is not just a descendant of giff thanks to his father's genes, but giff's target human vessel. the only reason vail hates vice's guts besides wanting to kill genta's family, because he's protected under giff's will.

giff creates a demon, vice, to inherit all of ikki's memories (at least, the painful ones he doesn't want to remember, but it eventually becomes just, everything lol). vice gets a consciouness, ikki's humanity that wants to protect ikki, but ikki wants to throw away his humanity and becomes an empty kind of guy. vice inherits the desires to be boisterous and selfish, instead of somehow put together and reliable, but instead it makes ikki wonder what the hell he wanted to begin with, and desperately fills in the hole by trying to help people via nosiness, etc. hence the whole volcano form convo i think. idr. LOL

so fast forward to the sorta endish of the season, they destroy giffs body, which is perfect so he can be released from his physical form and move on to vice/ikki. george knows all of this information, and decides it's the perfect setup to test ikki's will to become a kamen rider through the wildest hardship or whatever. so george goes and tells everyone that the igarashis are descendants of giff and spreads fear that even though giff is destroyed, this family exists. shit happens.

of course, happy spa's small but passionate loyal clients try to protect the family and such, but then vice becomes a conduit to transferring giff's consciousness into ikki once he loses all his memories, he transforms into his own demon and starts attacking everyone.

(i tried lol) (sneaking in a new image)

giff has a good hold over ikki till- uh oh. huh. the demon you put all of the human memories is goin a lil crazy. vice, fueled by ikki's memories and intense emotions, alongside giff's uncontrollable power, ends up destroying giff (yay) but takes over ikki's psyche as an absolutely uncontrollable beast.

george, seeing this as a failed experiment, uses his backup plan to be the ultimate kr himself as juuga to defeat ikki, becoming a hero for the public watching and cheering him on. just like kamen rider!

except of course, igarashi family, everyone known through the season, the weekend kids, hiromi try to get through to ikki revisiting their beloved memories with him (gl daiji) while the happy spa friends try to hold back the angry mobs.

ikki begins to regain consciousness and wonder if he really was that kind of guy before

ikki's family is the last to speak to him and of course it's like. fond memories, bad memories, things that they like and hate about him, things that make him him, etc, and give that big ol berserker man a hug.

vice finally speaks up with his piece, revisiting his own individual memories with ikki as his demon, etc.

george is perplexed and livid, but he's not sure why. this would count as a success in his experiment, but not in the way that he thought it would be. the cliches of kr fulfilled(?). and the crowd no longer cheers him on.

ikki regains revice form, no vice because vice has uh. merge merged with him now. fights george, last busybody guy to hit. woooooo ahhh (coughing hacking)

and here comes my oc, post season vice LMFAO. which is just the hbdvd design bc i believe in giving maeda the chance to be just a liddle goth and have a little dangly earring

post canon vice is pretty much a preservation and a box holding ikki's memories, if ikki fights and forgets, he reminds him. but due to inheriting these memories and merging with ikki's messed up post canon soul, he ends up a lot more subdued as ikki no longer gives a shit about being a loud boy and breaking free. he just doesn't want to be alone. LOL (and in caption note, it's preservation vice and destruction ikki ty sorry. ikki in my brain wants to destroy memories, vice preserves them for him) yay. he switches in as easily as kagerou does with daiji, but doesn't like to make much conversation outside.

and FINALLY this is where my other oc (jkjk) ace comes in.

the weird ass movie, revice and geats battle royale whatever, ace uses a desire wish on ikki for him to remember all the battles he's had in place of ikki potentially wishing vice back. (i guess in this au, it'd just be in place of him wishing literally anything better for himself. also vice would absolutely hate that (ace)).

in terms of au material in geats, i believe in evil parents..or more like...morally.....wack ass parents....... like you can't be the goddess of creation that was abused for a silly future man game and not go a little crazy... so to me, the mother that ace seeks is long gone, and when he finds her again before she dies, she tells him they should just fuck up the world (thumbs up) for everything it's done to them. ace is faced with 1) contemplating the human side of him that craved what he believed was family (through keiwa and his sister, the complicated relationship between neon and her family, as well as ikki's) 2) whether he wanted to do anything with his power towards the world because of his mom, what his mom put him through, what the world put them through (hence the tarot card, judgement. the power and the perspective to judge the world?)

i love the ninetailed fox theme sorry so not only is he a white haired anime boy in god form, BUT A FURRY

so in this perspective, ikki and ace represent opposite sides of like..the demon and angel shared blood with human spectrum, and how they go about the world that way. how they see each other is a weird balance that clashes and also completes each other(?)

anyway that's my spiel because im losing brain as we speak and starting to feel the effects of oh god, who the hell is going to read this. if you made it here, im sorry. uhhhhh i love yaoi............

[itstheantiheroesforme]

my controversial shadow & bone (show) opinions

Please dont hate me, I just have lots of thoughts on season 2 okay

Im sorry no shade to the actor but Patrick Gibson is not my Nikolai and he never will be. He delivers the lines from the books well enough but he looks like somebody's dad. He looks like he's forty. And his eyes dont glitter. He does not look like a puppy. He's not pretty enough. Idk it just didn't work for me.

Speaking of! I will die mad that Nikolai and Sturmhond look literally exactly the same. Like what. No. Why. Come on.

I dont like Ben Barnes. I liked him when he was prince Caspian but I dont like him as the Darkling. Some of his moments in season two were really well-acted, but again, he's too old and he just doesn't do it for me.

Book alina = loml. Show alina = annoying.

Basically I think the casting director fell flat for pretty much every character in the shadow & bone portion of the show. They went off with the crows though. Freddy carter and jack Wolfe and Danielle Galligan? Chefs kiss.

Pekka Rollins is hot.

I saw someone say that season 2 was like they took the second two grisha books and both the crows books and put them in a blender and I could not agree more. Im hoping there was some clever purpose behind the way they structured season 2 but honestly? It was a m e s s . Not that I didn't enjoy it. But still. Wtf.

THE DARKLINGS DEATH WAS SO BAD. okay so they mostly stuck to the book BUT it was over too fast and they skipped some of the best lines and honestly it didn't hit the way the book did. Don't let me be alone????

ALSO why do we not call him the Darkling? Like why not? He is the Darkling. Wtf is Kirigan? Sorry that's the Darkling. Calling him Aleksander from the beginning kinda screwed one of the most emotional points of his story.

I dont like Tamar. I love book Tamar but I dont like show Tamar. No I will not elaborate.

The little "shadow & bone" graphics at the start of every episode were tacky as fuck.

They showed too much of Kaz's backstory too soon.

Mal leaving alina in the end? Yes please give this couple some depth.

Mal becoming sturmhond? No thank you.

Also I didn't like how they skipped over so much of Mal's character in the show. What about his asshole arc? We had to read hundreds of pages of him being a massive jerk to Alina about her powers, her bond with the Darkling, her desire to save ravka, etc etc. Mal is a jerk but the show said no no he's nice he's sweet.

Totally random but I wish they weren't all British.

GIVE ME DARKLINA YOU COWARDS. Okay so y'all darklina bitches know what I'm talking about - why did they change that scene??? Darklina should've been endgame imo.

And one noncontroversial opinion: tolya is the best part of the books and the best part of the show can I get a amen

[my-mt-heart]

Ok im gonna try to bring a bit of positivity here even if it might not seem like it at first lol. U might have seen (but i think u avoid twitter right?) Carol being attacked these last few hours/days regarding Sophia/Ed. How she supposedly let Sophia being sexually abused by Ed without doing nothing. How she screamed to Shane "stop!" and cried when he beat up Ed. Meaning she was weak and ridiculous, again.

First of all i think (correct me if im wrong) that its considered canon that Ed didnt abuse (sexually, that is) Sophia... yet, because he died, but he would have had tried to had he lived because he saw her "growing up" and was a sick psycho. And Carol acted on it by having Sophia taken physically far away from her father if i recall well (dont have the exact scene in mind hence why im vague).

Second of all, this is bullshit obviously. Those people have never been abused and it shows. How its hard to leave, because you still love him and actually believe him when he says he wont hurt u again. Because he's a "great father" and "only" hit you and not ur children (its stastically rare i think but it does happen). I've worked with a lot of women beaten up by their husbands (and believe it or not, a few man with their wives too. Even husbands with husbands or wives with wives. Again, more rare but still here) and all combinations exist: women dont give a shit anymore, wont forgive, and only wants to leave and/or ptotect their children, woman who cant leave because they still see the "amazing" man he was for the first 10 years, or the first 3 years. Or says things like "he was beaten up when he was a child by his dad so its not his fault. "

ALL combinations exist, no one knows what its like to be in the head or the heart of a beaten 's wife/person, and no one should judge someone's way of coping with it, dealing with it, reacting to it. It is NEVER the victims fault, even if in the case of a beaten's wife, she stays with the husband.

Sorry, so, this disgression to say that Carol was insulted yesterday and so on for staying with Ed and not protecting Sophia.

The goods news (and here comes the positive part lol) is that for once, everyone was coming at these assholes (who, yes, happened to be Richonners, but NO, not all Richonners are this way, absolutely NOT).

And when i mean everyone, i mean even those who usually dont say shit when Carol (and therefore Melissa) is called ugly and/or too old for Daryl. Even those who dont ship caryl and/ or dont particularly like Carol are saying "ohh hell noo, too far, u re not victim blaming Carol here, absolutely not". Even the "kind of official fan accounts" followed by stars of the show.

So, while i wish she was defended more often already for the ageist and sexist part of the attacks she suffers, its still comforting to see that this time, everybody or almost see how too far they have gone and reacted accordingly.

Sorry if im clumsy in my way of writing or presenting things, english is not my native language, hope i did ok.

First of all, thank you for all you've done for survivors of domestic abuse and for sharing your insight. I heard about the incident through the grapevine and it was nice to go back and see all the support Carol was getting from all sides :)

Even though we have to be responsible for what we say on SM, I don't think it should just be left up to the fans to create a safer environment for them (and even cast and crew) to interact with each other. We should also put pressure on AMC to stop fueling the sexism, ageism, racism, etc. seen not just in one particular subset of the fanbase, but across the board. For example, how about making Carol the same size as Daryl in the key art so people can literally see her as a lead character? How about abandoning the ambiguous language around Caryl's relationship so people can understand that, yes, a middle-aged woman with gray hair can be the middle-aged male lead's love interest and vice versa? How about hiring someone who actually supports their characters and their relationship to run the official SM accounts? That's the kind of change I'd love to see.

[evansbby]

Bestie omg😭😭😭 I knew it was gonna be an emotional roller coaster, but this was so much better than I expected, and I expected no less than a masterpiece!!!

I absolutely LOVED everything about it!!!!!

Steve’s character development?? Omg made me so emotional I cried so much. The way he listened to omega even though everything inside of him told him to end peter… but he still let go for her, bc he loves and he knew he would lose her if he didn’t control himself🥹

And the panic attack? Read about Steve in this situation, Steve the strong alpha who’s always in control, just completely lose himself bc someone dared to touch the woman he loves and talk about their relationship. SO HEARTBREAKING that was the first time I cried during reading this.

And the car ride to her mother’s house pls it was so entertaining😭 Steve suggests to play this game just so he could ask her this question while this cute thing being completely clueless and asks him his fav color😭😭😭😭

But this sweet little moment they had smiling at each other and him kissing her and telling she’s cute I MELTED😭 it almost felt like he’s a normal person🥹

And when they got to her mother’s house, the part with him reading her diary and calling her a nerd omg this little normal couple moments have my heart 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭

And i love how protective he gets when it’s about her, wanting to find one of her mother’s ex bf and kill him cause he touched her? Im such a slut for men like that fr

And god bestie you WRECKED MY HEART with the part where she was screaming and crying after her mother’s letter. Cried so so so much. Omega deserves so much better.

And at his parents house🥹 Steve is such a mama’s boy I can’t. i loved every moment of them at his parents house, it felt like this place really brought out the best of them. At Steve’s place there was Bucky and sam around and idk I just always got the feeling omega is super uncomfortable with that. And at his parents house it felt like she was more calm, and even found a friend🥹 she always wanted a real mother, and her being friend with her mother in law was so good and healthy for her. She never really had anyone to talk to and Steve’s mother really gets her being an omega herself

Omega’s constant need to be with Steve was honestly adorable, yet so sad at the same time. Like she was always afraid that if she’d not never to him he’ll just disappear and leave her alone with her thoughts and she was so scared of that

Ngl at the ultrasound I was kinda scared that their gonna find out that there is no baby but there wad and this moment was so wholesome😭🥹

And yk what I don’t wanna talk about this whole Bucky thing ok this made me way to emotional and i love Bucky and I hate him at the same time and this whole thing just broke me

But the end and the epilogue i just 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 cried!! so!!! Much!!!!!!! IT WAS PERFECT i loved it i just loved the way they both changed so much and became literally perfect for each other. Like they’re actually meant to be. They’re relationship at first felt really forced, like he has her trapped and she doesn’t want to be there, and she was too scared to even look him in the eyes, and he was just a complete asshole. And they change so much to fit each other and make this relationship so healthy and pure and full of love🥹

and the daughter???!!!??? STEVIE IS A GIRL DAD😭😭😭😭😭 and the name Rosie omg!!!!!!!! Love it!!!!!!!

I wrote so much im sorry i just love this fic and you!!! For writing this and thank you so much bestie for working so hard on this you’re so appreciated 💘💘💘🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Thank you so so much for reading and sending this lovely amazing review bestie!!! I love you!!

I also love how you noticed the normal couple moments they had and also Steve trying to be normal too!!! I really wanted to showcase that in this chapter bc I feel like all their moments as a couple have been either super intense or just Steve gaslighting her. So I really wanted to show them being normal!

I’m so happy you enjoyed the whole car scene, it was honestly so much fun to write! Not Steve FINALLY trying to communicate through some weird ass “game” and omega not even understanding and innocently asking his fav colour 🥺🥺🥺 She really is so cute and no wonder Steve finds her cute 😌🥹

All of that was kind of like the calm before the storm, which was the sadness of omega discovering that her mom left her 😭😭

AND YES STEVE IS A GIRL DAD😌🥹🥹🥹 and yes their relationship is a lot better than at the beginning, it’s crazy how far they’ve come!!

Thank you so so much for reading! And never apologise for leaving a long review, I live for asks like these 💖

[notsadspicyfunny]

I was convinced that Sawyer had a thing for Bella. And then it turns out he dated pepper which I completely forgot. They ended up breaking up. And I was like what the fuck. And I’m 97% sure that fucking Newt was gay, but was scared to come out because his dad is most likely a bigot his stepmom is obviously homophobic.

Going back to Sawyer and Bella. He didn’t like her… He didn’t even confess to her. His cousin ended up doing it. His cousin and Bella ended up dating. And that is insane to me like they kissed during fireworks. That is so fucking cute.

And then fucking Troy dude, Troy is a fucking asshole . And he’s so self-centered, but he’s also kind of hot. But I would honestly prefer Newt over him any day. The series also like reminded me how much I fucking love and miss football. Also, for when the show is made, there were so many before the times are references. Like gender equality, LGBTQ plus rights, bullying, etc.

There was even a gay character. Like he didn’t come out and say he was gay, or had a boyfriend. But he literally said in Season 2 episode 20: ‘Im not into girls. But I’m into free tacos’

Let’s go back to Newt. He was obviously a theater kid at heart. Like there was an entire episode about how he was a god of a singer.. but he couldn’t do that for a living one because he had stage fright and two because his dad wanted him to play football. And one of the other episodes he was too ashamed to tell his dad that he was mostly on the bench all of the time.

He also had crushes on very masculine girls. And made a lot of ‘jokes’ about being into guys. He and Sawyer even joked about smacking troys butt.

Also, most of the mannerisms he had we’re just obviously LGBTQ plus. I think because it was the time that the show was created they couldn’t make an outwardly gay dude.

Or maybe he was just really wimpy and I’m over reacting to all of this. I don’t know he just had a lot of hints.

Bella was like the main character because like she’s the title character. But she was honestly such a bitch. She made every situation about herself all the time. And while I did enjoy some of the moments she was shown. She was honestly kind of awful. First of all, she made a boy cheat on his lovely ass girlfriend for her. She almost didn’t let her best friend go with a girl because she had beef with the girl.

And then, when the girl broke up with him, she goes: ‘lol told ya’

Like I’m rooting for the dudes on this one. Choose a new best friend man.

Sawyer was honestly so funny in this. He was my favorite bit of comic relief. He had a shitty, best friend though who is Troy. What are my favorite scenes was when he wore a dress and fucking rocked it

There was an episode, when two of the male football players were like ‘cheerleading isn’t a real sport’ and the girls literally taught them a lesson. And it was so entertaining and I think it was a great lesson because cheerleading is a real sport. And it should be treated as such. Like it’s a literally gymnastics, AND weightlifting

The coach in this, though is so funny. He’s one of my favorite adult characters that is ever been introduced into any type of series besides grunkle Stan in gravity falls.

As much as I hate to admit it the intro song. Such a fucking bop. Honestly really really good. It’s gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the night/day,

That reminds me, I’ve pulled an all nighter to finish this stupid series

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[estrel]

You asked for the good the bad and the ugly and i literally have a bit of all of them for ya mwah <3

My mom finally broke up with her toxic boyfriend for good, he was being an asshole and ghosting her on their six month-aversary AND her bday week (which is also the bday week of my dad, sister, and boyfriend so it's already a complicated week for me). To take her mind off the breakup she's gonna take me and my lil bro on a resort vacation with her best friend this weekend, but also both my bro and i caught bad colds this week. AND my period is late, and i have rly bad luck with getting my period while on vacation so i can't go in the pools. Also also bc of how last minute my mom's breakup and the resort vacation was, i had to reschedule bday dinner with my boyfriend to be earlier in the week and he ALSO GOT SICK (and he almost got into a car accident but that's neither here nor there). And bc of me being sick and barely able to talk and how exhausting this week has been, there's a good chance i'll have to cancel on my dnd group again and we havent been able to play for like three months. So there ya go !

hi anon! first of all wow thats one loaded bday week. happy birthday to all those mentioned! a resort vacation sounds nice, but im sorry to hear you're feeling sick!! make sure to rest and treat yourself well and with kindness. it's not your fault you got sick, postponing one more dnd sesh might feel awful but try not to feel too bad about it!! i know its hard though. thank you for sharing, i hope you get well soon!! 💛💛💛

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert, Harry Anderson Egbert

Candy, page 38

ROXY: sup john

ROXY: long time no see

ROXY: well alright then pal

ROXY: i do believe u know the way to the living room

JOHN: yeah, yep.

JOHN: thanks.

JOHN: sorry for staring like an idiot.

JOHN: it’s...

JOHN: i just got done with a whole week of feeling weird about hanging out in my dad’s old house again.

JOHN: I kind of forgot to think about how it would be surreal coming back here, too.

JOHN: some kind of nostalgia whiplash, i guess.

ROXY: fair enough yo

ROXY: harry andersons out if u were wonderin

ROXY: hell scoot back home later so if you make it thru round 1 of awkward ex-family convos im happy to say you can be rewarded with another

JOHN: oh, cool.

JOHN: i’d like to see him, if…

JOHN: if it’s okay with both of you.

ROXY: ya we chatted bout it

ROXY: but like i said

ROXY: one thing at a time

ROXY: lets me n u tear this ol egbert/lalonde estrangement band-aid right the fuck off n see what we got goin on underneath it

JOHN: sounds like a plan.

JOHN: so, uh.

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently.

JOHN: and i’ve realized some things.

JOHN: some stuff that involves you and some that doesn’t, but all things i think you deserve to know.

JOHN: whew.

JOHN: ok lemme think where to start...

JOHN: you know how jake left jane?

JOHN: i mean, i assume you know.

JOHN: though, uh, no offense, but jane’s version might be...

JOHN: skewed.

ROXY: oh lmao nah i didnt hear it from janey

ROXY: harry anderson filled me in on wat he got thru the teen grapevine

JOHN: oh!

JOHN: are you guys not...

JOHN: nevermind.

JOHN: i’m sorry, i came to apologize for my shit, not pry into your business.

JOHN: we don’t have to talk about jane if you don’t want to.

ROXY: janey n me havent been super tight of late

JOHN: ah.

JOHN: what about politics not coming between friends and all that?

ROXY: lmao well turns out sometimes someones politics make it p clear what kind of friends they value

ROXY: or dont

ROXY: and idk sometimes people you used to like when you were a teen grow up to be assholes or w/e!!

ROXY: i think i was clingin to somethin just to prove to myself that i was doin stuff right

ROXY: ol rolal

ROXY: hella normal

ROXY: v good at sticking with friends

ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit

ROXY: u might relate

JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.

ROXY: anyways

ROXY: im not tryna take up all ur big speech time w/ my stuff

ROXY: you were tellin me about how jake n janey finally went splitsways and how it gave you some kind of epiphany

JOHN: no, it’s cool!

JOHN: i’m glad to hear it.

JOHN: we can come back to your shit after my shit, maybe.

JOHN: but yeah, jake, he uh...

JOHN: he and tavros are living with me now.

JOHN: i think for the foreseeable future. we were expecting jane to have kind of a fit about it, but all we’ve gotten so far are some divorce papers.

JOHN: if she knows where jake is and she hasn’t had a drone fleet dispatched to nuke my house off the planet i think that’s a good sign she’s actually just letting them go?

JOHN: which is kind of surprising, but, uh. good, i guess.

ROXY: ok ill b the first 2 admit that janes turned into kind of a jerk lately but u no shes not actually like

ROXY: literally evil

ROXY: lol

JOHN: that’s debatable!

ROXY: sry to disappoint but janes just a person and you cant actually blame her for everything that went wrong in our marriage like i was her helpless thrall or somethin

JOHN: that’s not what i was saying...

ROXY: ok neither of us came here to argue about janey did we

JOHN: you’re right. let’s just not talk about her.

ROXY: yea

JOHN: anyway...

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are.

JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it.

JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life.

JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally.

JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault.

JOHN: but even before that...

JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did—

JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do—

JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.

JOHN: none of this was supposed to be this way.

JOHN: honestly, it doesn’t feel right that we got married at all, does it?

JOHN: your life was heading in this whole other direction with callie, and i just...

JOHN: i dunno. i just kind of took that from you.

JOHN: i think i ended up taking a lot of decisions from a lot of people.

JOHN: everything took a backseat to what i wanted.

JOHN: whatever cosmic significance the lives here do or don’t have, all the pointless suffering i’ve created is... inhumane. and—

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man

ROXY: im sorry john ilu but this is some hot steamin horseshit

JOHN: what?!

ROXY: its some real jerkoff emoji stuff is all im sayin!!

ROXY: you think you choice mattered so much that no one elses could measure up?

ROXY: n then what

ROXY: did u get what u wanted?

ROXY: did your life end and the points got tallied and you came out on top or like what?

ROXY: still p much seems like were movin to me

ROXY: and you sure dont seem like ur winnin so wheres all this good shit you got that you gotta go around handin out apologies for?

ROXY: also damn dude while were at it!!

ROXY: u forgot to actually say sorry in that apology!

JOHN: no, i didn’t — i just meant...

JOHN: i’m sorry for fucking up your life, or making it not—

ROXY: i like my life!!!

ROXY: i mean it aint perf and i got my share of fuckups n mistakes in there but you dont get to tell me its fucked up

ROXY: or that it isnt real or somethin

ROXY: its mine!

ROXY: i mean i felt... somethin i guess

ROXY: but its not just you

ROXY: youve never been the only player in this game u kno

ROXY: do u not remember who all was there when this all kicked off?

ROXY: me n callie wouldna told u u had a choice if it was all just some meaningless bs

ROXY: its not like i was ever some master seer of all that ever was or will be but i do know a lil bit abt what coulda gone down if things were different

ROXY: and u know what

ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine

ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy

JOHN: i just kept wanting to find ways to make everything make sense, you know?

JOHN: but maybe it just fucking doesn’t.

ROXY: i know we became grownups in a world built specifically n cosmically for us

ROXY: so i get wanting to find a pattern in everything

ROXY: but not everything has 2 b that deep

ROXY: n when u think abt it

ROXY: lookin at it that way, like evrythin has to be this elaborately purposeful heroic design to be worthwhile

ROXY: is actually p shallow

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: i’m sorry. it’s just so hard to not feel like a total asshole.

JOHN: maybe i’m not some grand vizier of destroying time and space or whatever.

JOHN: but we KNOW that there’s a canon timeline out there.

JOHN: and it seems really obvious to me that we aren’t in it anymore.

ROXY: so what

JOHN: “so what”???

ROXY: yea

ROXY: so what

ROXY: tf do i care that theres some other reality out there some1 arbitrarily decided was the “real” one

ROXY: whats that have to do with the life i have now

ROXY: what is there actually that makes this one mean less than that one to the ppl who r actually in it

JOHN: you never feel like it would’ve been better if things had gone a different way?

JOHN: magic or no, i could have done a lot differently, for you especially.

JOHN: stuck around, or... fuck.

JOHN: stayed out of your way to begin with.

JOHN: let you and callie do your thing, or do whatever it was you seemed to be headed off to do.

JOHN: i just didn’t expect it to be me, after...

ROXY: nah dont say that

ROXY: i mean i accept ur apology this time but

ROXY: theres obvs all kinds of ways shit coulda gone

ROXY: and tbh back then

ROXY: with her...

ROXY: mostly i think i just wanted to do stuff right

ROXY: not that i knew wtf that even meant lmao

ROXY: which was prob the problem lmao lmao lmao

ROXY: just like

ROXY: we had this big fresh as hell start at bein people!

ROXY: i had all these conflictin thoughts abt how to be me in the first place

ROXY: like what it meant to date a beautiful skull alien

ROXY: sexualitywise and genderwise and person in generalwise

ROXY: for a while there i didnt know if i wanted ppl to think of me as a woman at all

JOHN: ah, i didn’t know.

JOHN: well, i guess maybe i wondered?

JOHN: but the way young idiot me would have wondered, so not that deeply.

JOHN: and it seemed like you’d forgotten all about it when we got together.

ROXY: i hadnt forgotten about it

JOHN: do you want to talk about it...?

ROXY: i coulda told you then but i kinda felt embarrassed abt flip floppin with my identity i think

ROXY: mean it isnt like i grew up with big airquotes society tellin me what was right n wrong like u did

ROXY: so it wasnt any kind of shamefest

ROXY: just a lot of abstract hypotheticals wed only just started talking about and never got very far into

ROXY: just idk i thought i might do things one way but then i stopped hangin out with callie as much

ROXY: its not like i stopped thinkin abt it

ROXY: or her

ROXY: but it never rly came up with anyone else and i didnt rly feel like i could talk abt it with you so i never brought it up again

JOHN: i’m really sorry you felt that way, roxy.

ROXY: its ok its not ur fault

JOHN: but you don’t regret it?

JOHN: not going for that stuff, and instead just... marrying me?

JOHN: i’m not asking so you can absolve me, i’m just impressed.

JOHN: how do you not second guess every choice you make?

ROXY: i havent stuck my head in the timeline vortex like u have so i dunno what its like to see other options

ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?

ROXY: i dont think i can regret anything

ROXY: theres not only one right way to be me imo

ROXY: i like the me i am

ROXY: its not like i went n decided “actually hell ya love to be a woman n do all the shit on the woman checklist”

ROXY: i get that thats prob what it looks like outside of my own self but i dont care abt that

ROXY: sorry lol im not good at this whole explainin what transpires in my brain thing

ROXY: idk this life ive been livin gave me harry anderson

ROXY: that kinda outweighs anything else just for me personally

ROXY: n its not like i ever totally quit thinkin abt that gender stuff

ROXY: i just found a different way to work it out than maybe i was originally gonna

ROXY: i...

ROXY: but lmao john were just adults

ROXY: were not dead!

ROXY: idk i mean were only what... barely middle aged in regular human years?

ROXY: we got all kinds of hypothetical but still prolly finite eternity to work our shit out

ROXY: who tf knows

ROXY: its not like you figure out who you are when youre 23 and then the rest of ur whole life is just sittin back watchin ur shit fall apart or not

ROXY: i mean maybe thats been it for u so far

JOHN: haha. ouch.

ROXY: i just dont think im anywhere near done buildin those roxy self actualization train stops

ROXY: who the fuck can say how many more i got lined up

ROXY: same goes for u

ROXY: if youre willing to look at this life as more than a cosmically pointless dead end failure that is

JOHN: i guess...

JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward.

JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.

ROXY: thats the spirit

ROXY: weve got a million billion lifetimes ahead of us john

ROXY: u dont even KNOW all the ways u got left to fuck up in!!

ROXY: hows that for some inspiration??!

JOHN: it’s...

JOHN: it’s pretty fucking inspirational, roxy.

JOHN: thank you for trusting me with this personal stuff.

JOHN: i know partly you were telling me all that to kick my sadsack ass, but i know you don’t talk about this kind of thing every day.

ROXY: to be real i hadnt even let myself think abt it every day

ROXY: so thanks for lettin me ramble at u out loud instead of just almost thinkin abt it once every few years

JOHN: i guess sometimes it takes hearing the same shit over and over until it sticks.

JOHN: that’s mostly an own on myself by the way.

ROXY: lmao were just rippin off those bandaids left n right over here

ROXY: a coupla professional issue discussers

JOHN: yeah, i’m frankly baffled by how fucking good we are at this?

JOHN: where was this when we sucked so hard at being married?

ROXY: buried under a shocking number of issues is my guess

JOHN: well, it’s nice to throw a few off, for once.

ROXY: feel free to communicate with me instead of spendin the next 300 years in a silent prison of your own making if u so desire

JOHN: hey harry anderson.

JOHN: it’s really, really good to see you.

JOHN: do you wanna go for a drive?

HARRY ANDERSON: yeah, dad.

HARRY ANDERSON: that could be cool.

[aita-for-keeping-phone-on-silent]

@am-i-the-asshole-official

alright, now that it's been a few days time for the addendum (split into 2 sections for me answering a majority of the questions then thanking/elaborating on suggestions for my problem)

the most asked question: "why doesn't he have a house key?"

he does. all 3 of us (him, mom, and I) have keys to the house and don't leave without them if it can be helped (all our keys are on the same rings/carabiners as our car keys, so we don't leave without them often). dad just typically has his hands full carrying something when he tries getting us to unlock it, and then complains about mosquitoes. he does complain when it's locked and he's carrying nothing often though (though it's rare he carries nothing)

doorbell/knocking?

quick little explanation for the house layout, there's 3 doors total, an enclosed side patio that's used for storage and is blocked by furniture (never used by anyone), the back door that everyone uses to get into the house (no bell), and the front door which does have a bell, but is covered in literal batshit all the time. it's impossible to keep it cleaned up, you can sweep it all off, but then more falls within 30 minutes (there's a small window high up above the front door where the bats sleep, and I genuinely don't know why we haven't called pest control). as for knocking, he often does, extremely loud, but you can't hear it from all parts of the house and he often does it as a last resort then opens the door himself.

use a land line/house phone:

like someone already said in the comments, you get hit with infinite and constant spam if you use those anymore, I know first hand because a couple years before we moved into this current house we watched over my grandpa with dementia, and he could only ever operate land lines so we were forced to deal with the spam.

bedroom floor entirely carpeted?

yeah every inch is carpeted, and I don't have a side table available (see section where I thank suggestions)

your dad sounds like an overall ass

unstandable since this is your only exposure to him, but I can guarantee that this is the worst I have to deal with off the top of my head, my sperm donor is objectively horrible and I've dealt with my friend's parents enough to know what's a good parent, good meaning but bad parent, and bad/horrible/beyond parent

suggestions section

HOLY SHIT THE BOOK/CLIPBOARD THING IM DEFINITELY GOING TO DO, THANK YOU

use do not disturb

I have it on always, I love not getting notifications from any apps, it helps prevent my already suspectible to distractions self from getting more sidetracked than necessary. as for priority ping I'll look into that

someone also suggested a short but noticeable notification noise, I'll try that too

I think the last suggestions were having a hidden key, but like i answered above he already has a key, and I'm not going to get into it but we have a reasonable fear of a family stalker finding it and breaking in (we're trying to get restraining orders but there's been. a lot. getting in the way.)

get your own phone plan

the family discount plan is objectively the best for all of us (my sister 2 states away is on it as well) but I do mean to move out and get my own phone plans etc

if your question wasn't answered I'm sorry I am speeding through this before going to work, but I agree with everyone saying I do need to get better with getting the calls/texts

@aita-for-keeping-phone-on-silent my throwaway ran out of characters but Am I The Asshole for keeping my phone on 'silent'? (vibrate). I (M19) have anxiety and ADHD (the latter undiagnosed to be fair), and I keep my phone on vibrate almost exclusively (minus the times my parents leave me to watch my younger sibling). my mom (F~50) keeps hers on complete silence, and this combination pisses my step dad (M~60) off a lot. (context) I used to keep my notifications on, but no matter what I would change my notification sounds to I would freak out anytime I'd get repeated notif sounds from either spam or my parent's sporadic GC habits (I once received a "happy Easter" message at 3 in the goddamn morning from dad). My mom keeps hers on silent for similar reasons

(now for the actual ask) My dad often complains about us not answering his messages to unlock the house door, me not coming downstairs when I leave my phone plugged in my room while I am in the attached bathroom (vibration is muffled on my bed/carpeted floor), and my mom not answering hers for her own different reasons, as well as more of my own (the mentioned examples are repeated offenders).

he'll often send a couple texts then call a few times, then complain when we don't answer. usually things he'll ask us to do is within <10 minutes of when it's supposed to happen, and often we (mom and I) are busy or misplace our phones when we don't answer. this has pissed him off so much he's threatened twice now to stop paying for the family phone plan.

I don't mean to ignore his calls/texts but the notification sounds genuinely stress me out (even though I keep them on exclusively for parent's texts and calls, no apps or anything), but even though I've tried explaining this to him he'll either get annoyed or say mom should at least keep hers on vibrate, and that both of us suck at reliable communication.

I can completely understand his frustration at our collective hate/intolerability for noises but it also seems unfair because he'll often (though less than he used to) listen to daily football dudebro podcasts at full volume on his phone even while in the same room as us, which adds to our (at least my own) anxiety.

so, aita? (technically we but yeah)

(last tangent, I mentioned my (possible) ADHD because I will misplace my phone a lot, and sound is the biggest offender when it comes to overstimulation, so much so that I will either get a headache or become nauseous from it (sometimes both :D). my parents do not know about my own self-diagnosis so I cannot blame my dad for getting annoyed at my habits)

What are these acronyms?

[ghoulibrat]

Just when I think I'm making progress and doing better, I'm reminded that I'm not....and I spiral back down...

[melissa-titanium]

IDID. A DOODLE ABOUT THIS WHEN U FIRST @ ME IN IT BUT INEVER FUCKING SENT I TBECAUSE I NEVER FUCKING FINISHED MY REPLY BUT.

"V was a quiet kid because she was shy, Doll was a quiet kid because she was introverted. Those are two very different types of people"

IM GIGGLIN. also holy fuck the low empathy part is. i absolutely get you i feel like i never see stuff about low empathy & if i do its usually super like. negative :(

ALSO YES. i think it's said alot so i'm basically just repeating what you said but v keeping everyone at arms length to protect them. she went through an unfathomable amount of terrible experiences & came out of it coping in a way that was unhealthy. she kills because she's afraid, because she thinks if she immerses herself in her new role and removes herself from the people she used to trust, it won't hurt as much.

AND THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. I NEVER EVER EVER SEE ANYONE TALK ABOUT N'S LOW EMPATHY (there may be another word for it um) IT'S MY LEAST FAVORITE PIECE OF MISCHARACTERIZATION ABOUT HIM. you can be nice and not empathize. n is, for the most part, shown to be unfazed by any death or what he's doing.

i can make a list of times he's not reacted to pain/violence & a list of times he has, but arguably one of the most important scenes of showing his character is one of the last few scenes in pilot -- after he's broken into the bunker, and killed a half a dozen workers in cold blood. his disposition implies he's more worried about mundanely upsetting people than he is about killing. "i ruined your card game, and made you have an awkward moment with your dad..." notice how he doesn't mention LITERALLY KILLING PEOPLE until after uzi brings it up? in v's introductory scene where she's ripping a worker drone to pieces, n looks uncomfortable in the sense that he thinks he's walked into something he shouldn't. at least that's how i took the scene; that it might make her uncomfortable that he's there -- not that he's uncomfortable over the fact that she's just killed an entire family and is feeding a drone's entrails to him while his remaining family members watch. when v kills one of uzi's classmates in cabin fever, he leans up to her and makes an irritated remark at her about it. about killing someone.

the complexity of how he views death is infinitely more interesting than the way people dumb it down to "oh no, oh no! ive been killing people oh nooo :( im so terrible!!!!" if anything, he's probably more distraught about how he DOESN'T feel that way. he's literally been reprogrammed into believing that's his purpose and that it's perfectly okay, it's hard to work out of that habit. the reason v differs from this is that as i explained before, she does it to cope. she's been put into this role of the merciless killer, and she knows damn well there's nothing she can do to get out of it, so why even try? she falls into the role, pushing away the drone she was connected to when she was still in the mansion to try and protect him & make herself feel better. she kills because she thinks she's supposed to ; and maybe somewhere along the way it became enjoyable, she MADE it enjoyable so she could deal with the fact that she even had to do it in the first place. she was trying to forget, to remove herself from who she was and solidify what she's going to have to be until the inevitable end of this planet and this life.

ok i went on a tangeant about v and n. oops

UR SO FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT THE SCENE BETWEEN HER AND KHAN THOUGH. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I NEVER SEE ANYBODY MENTIONING IT. he makes a witty remark at her about it and she doesn't know how to follow up . instead opting to just..leave. i read a lot of her falteringly desperate attempts to reach out as more... she was conflicted, so she couldn't outright tell anyone she needed help . LITERALLY WHAT YOU SAID

lizzy is something of an asshole, bluntly put. we see how she behaves with doll! literally their first focused scene is lizzy making a joke about her Dead Fucking Parents. you could possibly argue her allowing doll to continue her cannibalism spree/revenge plan was out of fear... BUT, she's clearly got no issue with prodding the bull, so i'd argue otherwise.

doll's been festering in her hatred for YEARS, probably a good portion of her life, if the assumption that her parents died when she was young is true. she's had no outlets, no one who will seriously listen to her (lizzy doesnt count as i said before) & similarly to uzi has lost all trust in the adults around her (considering what you saw of her apartment & how the adult drones are like, i wouldn't put it past them to have just... not checked her house all those years. not checked up on her.)

so when she finally sees someone's like her, someone understands, and there's the possibility of reaching out, she's conflicted. she tries to do it, but after so long of being disconnected, she's unsure. she doesn't know how. she's jumpy, teleporting away or lashing out at the slightest suggestion that she's in danger, all while grappling with the fact that she's not the only one with this issue any more. she has someone who's probably worse off than her, who she could potentially sympathize with... but she doesn't know how, since she's never had the chance to learn.

and even in the end. she's ripped down, disemboweled & left to die , but even then she makes a futile attempt to reach out. but, like every other attempt -- it fails.

V and Doll; trauma, mental disorder, and low empathy.

Very recently on my notifications I received a reblog by @aroaceweirdos101 to a response I've made to a post talking about how Doll went through so much more pain than V, and it made me realise that the response in question was actually, like, really good.

I had genuinely forgotten and underestimated how good of an analysis of both V, Doll, mental health and societal stigma it really was.

Now, of course, I disagree with the sentiment that Doll suffered more than V and fully believe that out of the two V endured way more pain and trauma than Doll; yet, although the responses in the comments checked out with what I previously said, they felt... meaner?

Like, the answers went to the opposite extreme of the original comment and tried to downplay Doll's trauma in comparison to V's, almost implying that Doll was a b##ch (which she was) for snapping as hard as she did when V still managed to retain a sense of restraint; and I disagreed with that, so in response I wrote this:

*Look, I believe both Doll and V are interesting characters, and although I feel more sympathetic towards Doll, I definitely believe V went through so much more pain than Doll and had way more reasons to snap and be the way she is now, but I just really hate people who use that as an excuse to label Doll has the more evil of the two or "she was always just a psycho, she just needed an excuse to snap"; it's especially disheartening when people straight up interpret her as unreademable or pure evil, when V and N's body count is 10 times higher than Doll's.

Also, I'm sorry but I really can't stomach the possibility of Liam redeeming the genocidal war machine and not the broken orphan created by said psycho, it literally would be the fictional pinnacle of "since these are the protagonists, they can get away with as much as they want and are always in the right"; I'm fine with the way Doll died because it was done by Cyn and there wasn't any moral lesson to be gained from our protagonists about it, but if it was done by N, Uzi, or worst of all V again, it should have played out like "we have reasons to do the things we do, and you have yours, unfortunately we're on opposite sides and you are hurting us so we must kill you now".

The human (worker drone) mind is extremely fragile, and some people, due to a probably inherited and undiagnosed mental illness or a particular personality type, are more at risk of snapping then other people, yet instead of being understanding towards those who are born with more issues than others (especially women, look up Azula or Ashley Graves) we tend to isolate, demonize and then kill them because they were incapable of fitting into the larger societal standard of acceptable social behaviour, even when said society never did anything to help them meet its unreachable standards because it required too much work from society's side to give you the special attention you needed in order to make you work and fit in.

V was a quiet kid because she was shy, Doll was a quiet kid because she was introverted. Those are two very different types of people and one of them (Doll) was inherently more at risk of developing mental health issues than the other due to their personality type and how it's stigmatized.*

Here's also the original post made by an anonymous user on @md-confessions

Also, here's the link to another post still talking about V and Doll. I made two comments in response, but neither of them is particularly well thought out and since you can't correct them I left them as they were.

Now, back to the highlighted part:

I want to use this response as a springboard to talk about the main differences between Doll and V when it comes to their different handling of their decaying mental health and why it's unfair to say that one of them was worse than the other based on their actions and attitude towards the problem.

(Also, all of the Murder Drones characters are extremely complex, and the fact that the show doesn't have filler makes it harder to get a good grip on one's particular mindset, so if it seems like I'm talking more about Doll than I am about V, it is because V is the most complicated character in the cast and I'm not as confident to talk about her as I am with Doll; it took one entire year to finally understand Doll as well as I do now, so V is a touchy subject for me that's why I might not do her justice).

First of all, it has to be said: Doll is a sociopath, V isn't, despite appearing like one. And that's ok.

When I say that I feel more sympathy towards Doll than I do for V, this is what I mean: I don't sympathise with Doll heartlessness more than I do with V jackassery; rather I understand and relate with Doll's low empathy since I also have low empathy as well, and it is quite common for people like us to be misunderstood for uncaring individuals.

It's the same reason why I and many others tend to like villains and sympathise with them more than we do with the heroes (Lord Shen from Kung Fu Panda 2 is the perfect example for this); it's quite common for villains to be written as individuals with low empathy, as an highly empathetic individual tends to be harder for the audience to buy as an antagonist, since you need to justify why someone this caring is committing all this heinous and terrible stuff, but if that person is already unemphatetic by nature, than it's just a matter of establishing their goals and motivations. These people also tend to be ostracized by their environment and go through a gruesome and violent death because it's socially acceptable to let these despicable individuals find comeuppance through death since they lack the traits that make a person traditionally good.

So, when people use the "So what? She's got dead parents. Many others do, including Uzi, who's also infected with the Absolute Solver, yet they have not become cannibalistic serial killers obsessed with revenge" as a slight against Doll it's not entirely fair because from what we've gathered in the show the other worker drones don't suffer from sadistic impulses and sociopathy like Doll does, even if they (Rebecca) are pretty uncaring. (Side note, Uzi also suffers from sadism/sadistic impulses, but not from sociopathy, hence the main difference between the two).

V, on the other hand, despite what her introduction and psycho girl persona might trick you into believing, was never a sociopath nor did she struggle with low empathy, she was, instead, a pretty timid maid who suffered through unspeakable physical and psychological trauma that led her to adopt this fake identity to cope for the atrocities that she was now committing for the company (Absolute Solver) and the safety of N; V cared about N in a pretty normal person kind of way: she kept N at arms length and hid the truth from him so that he wouldn't get hurt, all while detaching herself from the actions she was now committing, not saying Doll wouldn't or didn't commit any of these actions, but V did them in a way that better aligns with someone who doesn't suffer from sociopathic disorder.

Speaking of N, since he has been mentioned, I'll say that while Uzi suffers from sadism but not low empathy (she has shown to be pretty empathetic many times), N doesn't suffer from sadism but from low empathy; as better explained by a section of this post made by @melissa-titanium :

N x Doll

Don't believe me? Then maybe you should rewatch the series again because N's unemphateticness is his own can of worms to delve into.

But back to Doll, it's time to dissolve (😏) one of the oldest misconceptions surrounding her character:

Doll reached out for help. A lot. She just didn't have any luck with it.

Call me crazy, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that the fandom wide spread belief that Doll rejected all the help that was handed to her to be a massive lie, and in fact, Doll actually tried to reach out way more than you thought, arguably, even more than Uzi:

The impact that Yeva's education has had on Doll's life can only be noticed in this way: Yeva extended her hand to Nori and she accepted it, thus, it is fair to assume that Yeva taught Doll to be pretty open to others and to give a hand to someone in need (the show was rewritten after the pilot, so ignore the incongruences with Doll's initial characterization), and in fact, after enduring the trauma of watching her parents die, she opened up to Lizzie for help and support, unfortunately, Lizzie wasn't exactly the right person to talk about these things (no offence to her, all of Uzi's classmates suck for one reason or another, including Uzi herself, I guess that's what happens when you are stuck inside a bunker your whole life), after all, Doll was still killing and cannibalising her classmates.

Then, before she went back to gain her revenge, she tried to get Uzi on her side, which wasn't an attempt to open up, but she was still willing to connect, even if for the wrong reasons. Finally, once she discovers that Uzi also has the Absolute Solver, she promises to help her out, and at this point, Doll wishes to talk it out with Uzi, but because she is surrounded by the Disassembly Drones (V), she can't.

And now, for the most interesting discussion, there's this brief and frankly weird moment in episode 5 where Doll compliments Khan for raising Uzi, and while Khan laughs it off immediately, since he is a dumbass, this could have been a perfect opportunity for him to reach out to Doll and reason with her, since she's clearly putting aside whatever her objective actually is to talk to him, but he doesn't catch on, and this leads Doll to immediately closing herself off again and returning to the mission, and like, maybe we all kind of underestimated how much significance this moment carried, but consider this:

Doll, at this point in time, has been living out in the cold for what... a month? Six months? A YEAR? If we exclude J and Cyn from the equation, this is probably the only social interaction she ever had since The Promening, yet, because of Khan's lack of touch, she immediately reminds herself of the massive disconnection between her and the other workers (eh ehm sociopath) and thus storms off rapidly; this moment is actually quite painful when you look at it from this perspective, yet it's also, the only interpretation that makes sense? Otherwise how do you explain the existence of this moment when Murder Drones is a show infamous for his high plotting and lack of filler? They had to go out of their way to animate this, so why did they play it off in this way?

Tessa is a meanie

Penultimately, and again, I want to bring up a post by @capnsaltsquid since that's where I got the inspiration to write this paragraph off, Doll opened up to J and Tessa to get the answers she was seeking, yet not only Tessa shot her in the face for s###s and giggles, but then proceeded to fraternise with her parents murderers, and at this point, she closes herself off enough to realise that she might have to unintentionally kill Uzi and leave everyone in the dust if she wants to get anything at all.

But unfortunately, that is not the case, she dies of a lonely, meaningless, gruesome death, and at this point, she still tries and finally succeeds in reaching out to Uzi, and yet, like all of her previous tries, this is unsuccessful, as Uzi has other things in mind right now.

To wrap things up nicely, both V and Doll went through severe amounts of trauma and handled said trauma in a similar yet also different way, since they are different individuals who process emotions and love differently, thus the actions they took made sense for the person they were and should only be judged in the context of their writing and characterization.