aita-for-keeping-phone-on-silent

[aita-for-keeping-phone-on-silent]

@am-i-the-asshole-official

alright, now that it's been a few days time for the addendum (split into 2 sections for me answering a majority of the questions then thanking/elaborating on suggestions for my problem)

the most asked question: "why doesn't he have a house key?"

he does. all 3 of us (him, mom, and I) have keys to the house and don't leave without them if it can be helped (all our keys are on the same rings/carabiners as our car keys, so we don't leave without them often). dad just typically has his hands full carrying something when he tries getting us to unlock it, and then complains about mosquitoes. he does complain when it's locked and he's carrying nothing often though (though it's rare he carries nothing)

doorbell/knocking?

quick little explanation for the house layout, there's 3 doors total, an enclosed side patio that's used for storage and is blocked by furniture (never used by anyone), the back door that everyone uses to get into the house (no bell), and the front door which does have a bell, but is covered in literal batshit all the time. it's impossible to keep it cleaned up, you can sweep it all off, but then more falls within 30 minutes (there's a small window high up above the front door where the bats sleep, and I genuinely don't know why we haven't called pest control). as for knocking, he often does, extremely loud, but you can't hear it from all parts of the house and he often does it as a last resort then opens the door himself.

use a land line/house phone:

like someone already said in the comments, you get hit with infinite and constant spam if you use those anymore, I know first hand because a couple years before we moved into this current house we watched over my grandpa with dementia, and he could only ever operate land lines so we were forced to deal with the spam.

bedroom floor entirely carpeted?

yeah every inch is carpeted, and I don't have a side table available (see section where I thank suggestions)

your dad sounds like an overall ass

unstandable since this is your only exposure to him, but I can guarantee that this is the worst I have to deal with off the top of my head, my sperm donor is objectively horrible and I've dealt with my friend's parents enough to know what's a good parent, good meaning but bad parent, and bad/horrible/beyond parent

suggestions section

HOLY SHIT THE BOOK/CLIPBOARD THING IM DEFINITELY GOING TO DO, THANK YOU

use do not disturb

I have it on always, I love not getting notifications from any apps, it helps prevent my already suspectible to distractions self from getting more sidetracked than necessary. as for priority ping I'll look into that

someone also suggested a short but noticeable notification noise, I'll try that too

I think the last suggestions were having a hidden key, but like i answered above he already has a key, and I'm not going to get into it but we have a reasonable fear of a family stalker finding it and breaking in (we're trying to get restraining orders but there's been. a lot. getting in the way.)

get your own phone plan

the family discount plan is objectively the best for all of us (my sister 2 states away is on it as well) but I do mean to move out and get my own phone plans etc

if your question wasn't answered I'm sorry I am speeding through this before going to work, but I agree with everyone saying I do need to get better with getting the calls/texts

@aita-for-keeping-phone-on-silent my throwaway ran out of characters but Am I The Asshole for keeping my phone on 'silent'? (vibrate). I (M19) have anxiety and ADHD (the latter undiagnosed to be fair), and I keep my phone on vibrate almost exclusively (minus the times my parents leave me to watch my younger sibling). my mom (F~50) keeps hers on complete silence, and this combination pisses my step dad (M~60) off a lot. (context) I used to keep my notifications on, but no matter what I would change my notification sounds to I would freak out anytime I'd get repeated notif sounds from either spam or my parent's sporadic GC habits (I once received a "happy Easter" message at 3 in the goddamn morning from dad). My mom keeps hers on silent for similar reasons

(now for the actual ask) My dad often complains about us not answering his messages to unlock the house door, me not coming downstairs when I leave my phone plugged in my room while I am in the attached bathroom (vibration is muffled on my bed/carpeted floor), and my mom not answering hers for her own different reasons, as well as more of my own (the mentioned examples are repeated offenders).

he'll often send a couple texts then call a few times, then complain when we don't answer. usually things he'll ask us to do is within <10 minutes of when it's supposed to happen, and often we (mom and I) are busy or misplace our phones when we don't answer. this has pissed him off so much he's threatened twice now to stop paying for the family phone plan.

I don't mean to ignore his calls/texts but the notification sounds genuinely stress me out (even though I keep them on exclusively for parent's texts and calls, no apps or anything), but even though I've tried explaining this to him he'll either get annoyed or say mom should at least keep hers on vibrate, and that both of us suck at reliable communication.

I can completely understand his frustration at our collective hate/intolerability for noises but it also seems unfair because he'll often (though less than he used to) listen to daily football dudebro podcasts at full volume on his phone even while in the same room as us, which adds to our (at least my own) anxiety.

so, aita? (technically we but yeah)

(last tangent, I mentioned my (possible) ADHD because I will misplace my phone a lot, and sound is the biggest offender when it comes to overstimulation, so much so that I will either get a headache or become nauseous from it (sometimes both :D). my parents do not know about my own self-diagnosis so I cannot blame my dad for getting annoyed at my habits)

What are these acronyms?

[aita-for-keeping-phone-on-silent]

@aita-for-keeping-phone-on-silent my throwaway ran out of characters but Am I The Asshole for keeping my phone on 'silent'? (vibrate). I (M19) have anxiety and ADHD (the latter undiagnosed to be fair), and I keep my phone on vibrate almost exclusively (minus the times my parents leave me to watch my younger sibling). my mom (F~50) keeps hers on complete silence, and this combination pisses my step dad (M~60) off a lot. (context) I used to keep my notifications on, but no matter what I would change my notification sounds to I would freak out anytime I'd get repeated notif sounds from either spam or my parent's sporadic GC habits (I once received a "happy Easter" message at 3 in the goddamn morning from dad). My mom keeps hers on silent for similar reasons

(now for the actual ask) My dad often complains about us not answering his messages to unlock the house door, me not coming downstairs when I leave my phone plugged in my room while I am in the attached bathroom (vibration is muffled on my bed/carpeted floor), and my mom not answering hers for her own different reasons, as well as more of my own (the mentioned examples are repeated offenders).

he'll often send a couple texts then call a few times, then complain when we don't answer. usually things he'll ask us to do is within <10 minutes of when it's supposed to happen, and often we (mom and I) are busy or misplace our phones when we don't answer. this has pissed him off so much he's threatened twice now to stop paying for the family phone plan.

I don't mean to ignore his calls/texts but the notification sounds genuinely stress me out (even though I keep them on exclusively for parent's texts and calls, no apps or anything), but even though I've tried explaining this to him he'll either get annoyed or say mom should at least keep hers on vibrate, and that both of us suck at reliable communication.

I can completely understand his frustration at our collective hate/intolerability for noises but it also seems unfair because he'll often (though less than he used to) listen to daily football dudebro podcasts at full volume on his phone even while in the same room as us, which adds to our (at least my own) anxiety.

so, aita? (technically we but yeah)

(last tangent, I mentioned my (possible) ADHD because I will misplace my phone a lot, and sound is the biggest offender when it comes to overstimulation, so much so that I will either get a headache or become nauseous from it (sometimes both :D). my parents do not know about my own self-diagnosis so I cannot blame my dad for getting annoyed at my habits)

What are these acronyms?