#im kind of scared of how you did this
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im actually so mad why does this only have 40 notes
[TheStanelyParable/meme]Good Time (1:08)
Background:https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV11H4y1w7Xr/
#fuming.#THE underated art#like actually this is beautiful#im crying my eyes dont deserve such a gift#thank you#im kind of scared of how you did this#not only that but only got 40 fucking notes?#did you like#reverse sign your soul to the devil?
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GRAHH REDRAW JUMPSCARE
@/marsipain's cyberpunk ninjago au!!! im sure we all know it okay time to yap if any morro enjoyers remember alll the way back in january 2023 i did something for this au and i think around a couple months ago i was like yk what ill do it again. cause the one back then really was not the vision like i tried my best but i just did not have the skill
LOOK AT THIS??? i did end up ditching the mic but i kept the stickers at least. not sure how i feel about them but they were too iconic to scrap. also the perspective kind of wasnt working out for me i didnt really get the fisheye look i was aiming for but we ball. i actually started the whole thing end of AUGUST and then i completely revamped it look at what i had before
its a vibe lowkey i like it but unfortunately it was again. not the vision wasn’t dramatic enough. i redid it last sunday and worked on it nonstop for days what was i on
PROCESS
#obligatory morro enjoyers do you rember. im back happy morrotober#what a year and 9 months does to a mf#hii marsipain how are you doing#your designs are still banger even after all this time#almost 2 whole years#im scared to tag if they see it they see it#this is a for me kind of thing anyways i just wanted to redraw and see how it would look#WE ACHIEVED THE VISION 🗣🗣 SOMEWHAT#didnt really know what to do with the background#at first i was gonna have the giant morro sort of like a projector light and it was gonna shine on top of his face#but then i couldn’t figure it out so i scrapped it#also the way i did his collar slash sleeves i realized too late his sleeves would have to be like detachable but whatever#o i just found it i spent 17 hours on this what#it felt a lot less than that#i just watched the timelapse my first couple tries are actually embarrassing#don’t let the first second and third draft discourage you guys#ninjago#lego ninjago#morro ninjago#ninjago morro#morro wu#ninjago cyberpunk au#jellos scribbles#yyippee
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random thought, but i had a vivid image of, if helsknight and welsknight ever saw each other without armor (or just helsknight out of his armor tbh), helsknight showing welsknight the scar tanguish gave him and saying "this was intended for you."
i don't know how in character that is, but tbh it's haunting me. maybe it's part of helsknight's revenge against welsknight or something, calling out his unknightly behavior and unhonorable conduct.
"You didn't answer my summons."
Helsknight froze. It was a quick, momentary startle, a short-circuit of normality. The moment he did it, every instinct told him to keep moving. That old command [Do something.] blared loud in the quiet surprise of his mind. So he moved his hand to pick up the brush on his table, and pretended to be unconcerned.
"I'm not a dog. You can't call me to heel," Helsknight said simply. He smirked and growled, "Though if you feel like losing some limbs, feel free to try."
Behind him, Wels shifted uncomfortably. Helsknight liked making Wels uncomfortable, he didn't handle it well. He was a creature used to comfort and ease. Inconvenience often galled him more than a sword to the throat. Different tactics for different battlefields, and this battlefield was a delicate one.
Helsknight was cleaning his arms and armor, which was one of several reasons why he hasn't leaped for a fight when Welsknight had called him to one. He was only in a tunic and breeches. It was luck he even had his boots on. He had offered to run errands with Tanguish, but Tanguish had said he was visiting his church and wanted to go on rooftops. So Helsknight stayed home, and he left his boots on. That was the other reason Helsknight hadn't answered the call: Tanguish wouldn't know where he was, and he knew Tanguish got paranoid about being left behind. Besides, Helsknight had chores he could do at home [like cleaning his arms and armor] so he stayed. Cleaning the chainmail was almost a formality. Hels was hot and dry, and he wore it often enough that the rings clattering together cleaned themselves. But sometimes he just liked putting an extra shine on things, so he took out his brush and oil and started brushing it down for any miniscule specks of rust or broken links he could find.
Wels, always keen on the times he wasn't wanted, decided now was the perfect time to show up in his living room. He stood awkwardly, waiting on Helsknight to make some aggressive movement. When none came, he cautiously stalked further into the tiny living space. His emotions were loud and uncomfortable without the distance between their respective worlds to dampen them, and they clung like smoke against Helsknight's skin. Caution at an unfamiliar space. Disgruntlement at being ignored.
[Guilt, like ash on a burn.]
"Is this... Yours?" Wels asked, glancing around.
"No, I'm just squatting in a random house. Sounded like a fun way to spend a Tuesday."
Helsknight felt the ant-bite sting of vicarious agitation and smirked. He was already getting on Wels's nerves.
[Good.]
"Couldn't build something nicer?" Wels snapped impatiently.
"I'm a fighter."
Helsknight found a place on his chainmail to brush down and got to work. The rough, grating twinge of the coarse bristles on chain made Wels wince. Helsknight always found the noise pleasant. Like scratching an itch.
"So?"
"I have better things to do than spend hours building the perfect house."
Wels scoffed and looked around the room with renewed disdain. "Where's your little devil?"
It took Helsknight a moment to place what he was asking. He sneered, a quiet bearing of teeth, and caught the flicker of red in the reflective shine of his chainmail. Wels looked pointedly away from him.
[Like ash on a burn.]
"Not feeling remorse... are we, crusader?" Helsknight asked, finding a new place to polish. The coin-drop clatter of chain, and the shrill scrape of bristles filled the silence like an accusation.
"Of course not," Wels sniffed disdainfully, still refusing to meet Helsknight's eye.
"Careful." Helsknight murmured, that red flash reflecting off his chainmail again, anger simmering. "Lying's a sin."
"Why would I feel remorse for protecting my home?"
"A crusade well fought I'm sure."
"It's not a crusade!" Wels snapped, his own anger a living thing raising hackles. "A crusader invades! A crusader fights a holy war just for the principle."
"Right. And you're fighting because--"
"Because I'm protecting Tango."
"-because it's for his own good?"
Wels didn't exactly wince, but he did still, as though he'd heard someone draw a blade from its scabbard. Helsknight might as well have unseated his sword. He had stopped scrubbing, all pretense of work falling. The need to pace, to circle, to corner, rose up in Helsknight like a waking beast.
"Interesting choice of words. Protecting." Helsknight said, his voice low, his hands still. "I was under the impression they were friends. Do you often protect Tango from the people he's begging you to spare?"
"That doesn't matter." Wels said so firmly it was almost convincing. Almost. "People are convinced they need an abusive relationship. That doesn't change the fact it's bad for them."
"So many interesting words today," Helsknight hissed. He stood like a dark tower rising, all embered fury slowly stoking. Wels didn't bother turning to face him. He could feel his intent like thunder. "Abuse. Brings to mind the image of power. I do have a question."
"I didn't come here for your stupid questions."
"No, you came here looking for a fight."
"I didn't."
"You really do need to tame that lying tongue."
"I didn't come here for a fight."
"Did it feel powerful?" Helsknight demanded, pacing a step, and loathing the tiny room for denying him the space to circle. "The voice. The command. How did it feel."
"Shut up."
"To have someone begging you not to hurt them," Helsknight continued relentlessly. "Not your stupid play fighting on your stupid little server. True, shaking, terror. Did it feel good, crusader? Just?"
"I told you to shut up!" Wels shouted, taking a threatening step forward only to find Helsknight had closed the space between them and stood looming like a rook on a tombstone.
Fear, a caged thing howling, battered against Helsknight's anger. It made Helsknight feel almost giddy, the crash of malicious schadenfreude and self-righteousness against Wels; a flickering thing of brittle will. They made a terrible ouroboros together, fear feeding anger feeding elation feeding fear. They were always like this. No matter how calm either of them tried to be, once anger kindled in one, their emotions burned until there was nothing left but fury and loathing. Helsknight had been made to cut Wels down to size.
"Do you know what that kind of fear does to people?" Helsknight demanded again, his voice so near a whisper it was smothering. They were so close together, but they made so little noise, all will and wide eyes. "What happened to mercy for the helpless, crusader?"
"He wasn't helpless," Welsknight said, trying very hard not to back down. "He stabbed me."
"And a drowning rat bites. I wouldn't call it an apex predator. Certainly I wouldn't call it a danger to you, with your full armor and sword." Helsknight bared his teeth at Wels, something like a bitter grin. "I wasn't wearing armor."
Wels looked down, where Helsknight had drawn up his tunic to reveal the new scar in his abdomen. Wels looked like he'd stopped breathing.
"This was intended for you," Helsknight said. "You should thank me."
"You're-- you're here telling me he's harmless," Wels laughed nervously. "But he almost killed you. You."
Something in Helsknight snapped, and in the moment it took him to reach for it with white knuckles and compose it again, he'd shoved Wels hard in the chest. It didn't knock his other half off his feet, but he stumbled back hard enough hit the opposite wall. Not hard enough to hurt, but certainly hard enough to warn.
"He did," Helsknight snarled, pacing forward slow steps. "That's what terror does to helpless people, crusader. It makes them bite. It makes them beg. It makes them clamor to live. You. Did. That. What did it feel like to abuse that kind of power Wels? To turn someone into a scared animal? To make someone so desperate they would almost kill a friend? Did you find your righteousness there crusader?"
Helsknight didn't know what he planned on doing. Violence was in his blood like a serpent, and he wanted it. And Wels knew he wanted it. There was the ring of drawn metal, and the silver-bright glint of an enchanted blade in a dark room. Helsknight's advance stopped at the top of Wels's sword, not close enough to hurt, but close enough to warn.
"Stop." Wels said. A command. A plea.
"I'm unarmed."
"That doesn't matter."
Helsknight smiled, and there was loathing and euphoria in it, and the wine-dark dread of Wels right on the other side of it. The knowledge of a line crossed, a battle he hadn't even realized he was fighting made forfeit.
"Fine." Helsknight said. "My blood's already been spilled once on your behalf. At least this time do it with your own sword, coward. I'll make it easy for you."
He took a step forward, and nudged the blade with a knuckle, resting the point against his scar. The metal was cold, even through his shirt, the enchantments alive and writhing so close to his skin.
"How cruel have you gotten while I wasn't there to keep you in check, crusader?"
There was a long breath of silence between them. Helsknight stood, precarious and predatory, daring Wels to kill him. And Wels stood there, and dared himself to as well. And the room was dark, lit only by red anger and blue dread, and the pale, languid flicker of enchanted steel. And neither of them breathed. And the universe watched.
A loud clatter sounded on the roof. Both knights looked up towards the ceiling, Wels in startlement, and Helsknight in resignation.
"And he stays my hand once again," Helsknight sighed.
"What--?" Wels didn't get his full question out before Helsknight moved. He knocked the sword aside and lunged forward to grab Wels's shirt. In a move that would've made Martyn proud, he dragged Wels forward into his knee, knocking the wind out of him. In the time it took Wels to collapse to the floor, Helsknight had taken his sword, and held the point beneath his other half's chin.
"Go home Wels," Helsknight said, "before I send you there the hard way."
Wels, breathless on the ground, let out half a strangled laugh. "Why don't you?"
"Because I was asked nicely not to go running off and killing you."
"Helsknight?" A loud knock sounded at the door. Tanguish's voice, a bright comfort even in spite of its concern, called to him. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard something fall."
Helsknight glared meaningfully down at Wels, who only hesitated long enough for Helsknight to draw back the sword before slipping back to his world. The moment he did, Helsknight felt his breath leave him, the great void of being left to his own thoughts and emotions. In the wake of everything that was Wels, he felt ridiculous.
[What in hels had he even been about to do? Die on someone's sword to prove a point? Idiot.]
"Helsknight? The door is locked."
"I'm coming," Helsknight called, pausing only long enough to hide Wels's sword beneath the couch, where Tanguish couldn't see it and inevitably worried about it. He checked his tunic to make sure he hadn't managed to actually stab himself [he hadn't] and went to let Tanguish inside.
#rns ficlets#helsknight#welsknight#tanguish (kinda)#this one feels very dense and dramatic#i feel like wels actively seeks out hels when he feels guilty / bad / self loathing#its like a compulsion: punishing yourself because you did wrong#even though its ultimately unproductive#also something something helsknight making some kind of point about how#instilling terror in something to confirm your bias that its dangerous#is more even than the terrified thing causing harm#case and point i scared you into drawing your sword on an unarmed man#i dont know im tired and that was a really badass phrase to just drop on me anon#*evil not even alskdjfjf im going to bed
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Just looked at the digital remains again and oh my god why are we not talking more about the original lyrics to backslide
If I were to backslide, tell everyone we know
Thanks for the last time they came out
...
Why did I not thank you more, saving me those other times
(Don't you dare jump in)
...
I'd rather you hurt me, than do nothing at all
I'd rather you let me down, than just gas me up
I'd rather you cuse me, than do nothing at all
...
You won't make a sound, pick someone else I won't be around
Trapped inside your smile, don't put me on trial
Don't you see you take, everything from me
#christ this is so sad#oh my god i am havimg Feelings#something about the#why did i not thank you more#saving me those other times#(dont you dare jump in)#this is breaking me#im kind of glad those lines didnt make it on to the album i dont think i would have survived it#im curious as to why though#i really really hope its because he was doing better when actually making the song than when he originally wrote it#but i dont know#im worried about him#not to be pathetically parasocially attached to a man i dont even know#but these lines just. scare me.#i hope hes doing okay#i hope hes surrounded by the people he loves#and i hope he genuinely knows how much of an impact hes had on so many peoples lives#and i hope that doesnt scare him too much#it feels like these lines are about us#i dont know i cant articulate why this is hitting me so deeply but it is#and i hope josh is doing ok too#its easy to focus more on tylers thoughts and emotions because hes the one who verbalizes them#but i worry about josh too and i hope he also knows how much of an impact hes had#i just want to hug them both so bad#and it does reassure me that in most of the songs theres still an undercurrent of hope and a desire to keep fighting#twenty one pilots#tyler joseph#josh dun#clancy#clancy digital remains
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i can’t find a way to transform this into a comic right now but i truly believe “i don’t want to battle you anymore” is one of the worst things that mc can say to kieran
#pokemon#kieran#rival kieran#trainer florian#trainer julianna#LIKE THINK ABOUT IT#if someone wanted to beat me that bad that they were like#ruining their own life and shit to do it#I WOULD NOT WANT TO BATTLE THEM!!!#like what the fuck i would be so nervous. and also like. this is not worth it#and i think that would CRUSH him#all of your hard work down the drain because they’re too scared <- kieran’s thoughts mayb#resentment building up. anger. rage. but also desperation yk#kieran did this FOR you. he did this to try and beat you yes#but i feel like on a deeper level he truly wanted to connect with mc#like a ‘see how good im doing. please. i am so strong now see me as an equal’#kind of desperation#idk!!! but i’m having fun imagining HDNDJD#pokemon scarvi#teal mask#indigo disk
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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Finally deleted MyFitnessPal off my phone for my own personal sanity
#got some memories with that app#at first it was just sitting there bc I couldn’t stop myself from tracking the calories of some things#but after a 13 day streak shit could only get worse so I deleted it#proud of myself#that thing had me in chokehold last year did not want a repeat#tw myfitnesspal#tw mentions of eating disorder#random post#ooc post#kind of vent#???#started to wake up stressed out about what I’m gonna eat and I was like nooo not ts again#was literally restricting myself to 1200 cals a day AND IM 5’7#tw eating issues#sucks when you’re not even underweight so you don’t feel valid#waitttt I was not meant to trauma dump in this post#can we not bring being 2000s model skinny back into being trendy bc why are body types a tend in the first place#I can change fashion but definitely not my body#no bc this world is fucked up why was I scared to die alone bc I wasn’t skinny when I was literally 10#I hate that it’s normalized to praise people’s bodies#like idc if that makes me soft but a girl just living and everyone just talking about how good her body is#why is that okay bc yes it is positive but it also creates so many negatives#like does anyone get what I mean#it’s a compliment but it also makes everyone including that person afraid to be anything but ‘body goals’#idk how to explain it but like imo bodies shouldn’t serve aesthetic purposes#they actually have functions and needs and they allow us to live#tw body image issues#I hate wiead’s too but that’s just because why is everyone’s food so gourmet I literally just slap some butter onto toast lol#late night post
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day 22 prompt was similar to yesterdays, but instead of shading with pure blacks and whites i had to shade with hatching/cross-hatching
#incredibox#incredibox fanart#incredibox v8#choir#30 day challenge#sparks creations#i FUCKING LOVE HATCHING AND CROSS-HATCHING/GEN#ITS SO FUN AND THERAPUTIC#i also might have Almost given myself carpal tunnel ;A;#eye contact#he looking at you!!!#i love his face i love how i did his face#hes so handsome <3#and his fucking cloak thing omg#i was scared i wasnt going to shade the fabric right but I DID GOOD!!!!!!#im just in love with this piece honestly#i love this kind of art i want to make more of it#MORE HATCHING MORE PENCIL MORE TRADITIONALLY LOOKING ART MORE TEXTURE!!!!!!
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um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing
#like what do you mean full time salaried w benefits and paid vacation just to do. school.#what made you so enthusiastically think i was the perfect one to do this#when the last approx 20something other guys were like ummmm no you cannot do it#tbf like all that other shit up there aside#this did actually come at the perfect time#i look back on who i was during my masters and i legit do not recognize that person#i barely even remember it i have to look at pictures to think back on who i was#in a strange roundabout way being forced home to stay for a while#kind of re centered me and gave me time to come back to myself in a big way. i was really lost before#and chaining something like this directly after my masters would have been disasters#even like this time last year i did not have this level of mental clarity#and i think thats why i didn't get any of the other positions i was just in a fog and i think people could tell#so as much as like im super scared and nervous about this big change and big exit from my comfort zone#and a little sad and mournful that im leaving my family and wont hear my native language all day every day anymore#im the most ready ive ever been#2019 me was NOT ready im scared of her tbh!! idk what wave i was on but it was weirdo shit!#im also proud that i essentially rawdogged and brute forced a lot of introspection and improvement#entirely on my own#like i really can only just describe it as clarity i feel like i matured 10 years in 4 and cleared all the fog#i feel so good about the way i handle things and react to things now vs then#im like 500x more unbothered and actually know how to put myself first now#anyway uh this prob could have been its own post in and of itself#but woteva innit im proud of how much internal repairs i did on myself over the last few years#became a stable genius as it were#whos a lot more clearly defined and present#but fuck man! i am still scared of being 2stupid
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most fucked up thing at my new job is there's only zero calorie sweeteners at the coffee station in the break room. three different kinds of zero calorie sweetener but no regular sugar because the assumption is that literally everyone is on a diet?
#is this because its a job dominated by women in particular??? idk#that's so weird#like sorry i can taste the difference and i prefer naturally occurring sugar from nature how is that not even an option#drinking nasty bitter af coffee bc i am So Sleepy but i refuse to use artificial sweeteners#they Do taste different and they're not even good for you im not doing that lol#also they got mad at me for telling one of the parents that we took one of the kids temperature and it was 99 and he threw up a little#when his dad came to get him yesterday and all of the other teachers were nowhere to be found#they were like tou shouldnhave had colleen do that#ma'am colleen went home before that and so did you#i should have left already too but waited bc the ratio on the playground was bad#anyway i did NOT say he had a fever i said it was 99 and to talk to the teacher inside#but the dad didnt yalk to her clearly then went home and scared the mom that he had a fever and threw up so she texted my boss freaking out#i literally just said he threw up a little and we took his temperature and it was 99 and to talk to the other teacher#which was all true and there was no one else there to tell him#anyway#apparently the person who had my job before me was a wacko who scared the parents with fake medical information or something#but that is not my fault and nobody told me that or not to tell the parents anything medical until this morning#ugh#also my supervisor is kind of a weirdo#she wanted to show everyone ~cute~ pictures of animals she has killed while hunting???#and i said i didnt want to see#and she was like ~oh it's not dead yet in the picture~#like okay but its dead now???#she traps them first so its a cute little fox in a trap about to be killed 😭#like wtfff#i know trappong predators is a reality but why take pictures like ohhh so cute then kill it#THEN show everyone the cute pictures like yeah isnt he adorable i killed him btw <3#huh??????#she has a bobcat tail on her keychain too she was giving it to the teachers and kids to pet like ohhh its so soft <3
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i relate to richard papen because i, too, am delusional
#also outcasted in your friendgroup#that scene where richard ran away because camilla and francis kissed was LEGIT something i did once im kind of scared#miss donna how did you KNOW#richard papen#my fav delusional bbygirl#the secret history#tsh
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living in my barbie dream house of physically affectionate dirge
#it’s most certainly not happening now#but later. in the future#for now they are too scared to act on the impulse#partially on the basis of like. would they hurt a friend in process of trying to be kind#on another note I’m obsessed w lae’zel like#yes girl continue to feel as if you can only find your purpose in life in a godlike being who only pretends to care about you!#I don’t think it’s a flaw there is so much of her sense of self and world view within her culture#it takes all the sense in the world for her to cling to that so intensely#it makes sense not takes sense#it’s so interesting next to dirge who has such a half baked sense of self#from what scattered memories + invented bits and bobs + the experiences on the road#side note: I love the succeeding at various checks like history ones where it talks about your studies#it’s the how did I know that kind of feeling#but dirge has gotten used to it and is sort of….piecing together bits of who they are by that#they can kinda piece together that they were taught history magic and medicine as well as bard magicks#beyond that they got nothing. but they sure will spin a story of who they are based on that#bc what is a bard if not a good storyteller? even in the service of self illusion#sorry im getting bg3 obssessed ANYWAY#oc: durge#owen plays bg3
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once again thinking about how karl heisenberg from re8 sounds like if astarion were doing a really bad elvis impression
#random thoughts#resident evil#neil newbon sir you are so talented but im sorry you CANT#his voice is made to voice evil effeminate twinks okay#and like. smarmy sex pests.#and british. he's britsh. why did they have a british guy voice heisenberg???#most of the voice acting in that game is pretty hammy but like seriously why did they cast him#idk what voice id rather him have but definitely deeper. gravelier.#love how playful his voice is so no issue there#neil is like tom kenny where no matter how he changes his voice you can always tell its him#and neil's default voice performance seems to be a very proper elegant kind of deal#like im not just saying this because he's british but his heisenberg has a very regal quality#his voice when he's angry is pretty good?#HE SMOKES!!! HE SMOKES FUCKING CIGARS WHY DOES HIS VOICE SOUND LIKE THAT#he needs a gravel a base a fucking. SOMETHING#like it's impossible to be scared of this guy when he sounds like the chesire cat from tennessee#karl holds a special place in my heart occupied by so many fictional men where i'm like#'you hold so many ideas in you and i love those ideas so im gonna dissect you and steal them for myself'
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the fact that my chosen name is literally just my legal middle name and it's still too hard for "my family" to use it, because "well i've always called you [deadname] so i'm continuing" is insane to me
#megagonefree's audio has been all over my tiktok fyp recently so ive been thinking abt it#my name is noëmi cassandra rain in my heart and to my loved ones#to my family its [deadname] noëmi [last name] so really idk what their issue is#“your parents didnt name you that” yes they did dipshit its right there in the middle or are you illiterate?#my mother was the one to suggest going by my middle name bc she knew i wasnt a fan my deadname#and my mother has told me “i don't understand nonbinary people” so yeah sure im not out to her bc that comment scared me but somehow#she's more accepting of it despite her views which idk what is more insane#i have alot of issues with my mother and sure i haven't actually told her i made the change#but ill never forget how oddly kind and accepting she was of me in those moments where i lamented over the name she gave me
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Never ever EVER buy household appliances with ai in them. Most ridiculous things I’ve ever encountered
#to be clear i did not buy one but had to use one to do a load of laundry (who needs ai in a laundry machine??) and let me tell you it was#useless.#first the thing apparently ‘senses the dirty ness of your clothes to calculate the wash cycle’ which then would only ever decide to do a#cycle that took 4. freaking. hours. never have i encountered a washer that takes longer than an hour to wash your clothes.#and without the ability to manually say you want it to be a specific time? makes no sense. who has that kind of time in their day.#NEXT we go to dry the clothes and it also wants to run it for an insane amount of time. so we click it anyways (horrible decision)#and think oh we’ll just open it halfway through#well. upon stopping the cycle halfway through the damn thing says that the door is locked because it’s ‘too hot.’#never have i seen something that thinks i’m going to burn myself on my hot clothes. like cmon#also cause opening the door would be a surefire way to cool the clothes down you’d think??#so we try all sorts of troubleshooting things and even unplugging it and it STILL WOULDNT UNLOCK.#the damn thing is still locked btw. dunno if ill ever get those clothes back#so glad this at least isn’t actually a dryer we spent money on and just one that was here while we’re traveling and need to do laundry#but like. cmon#there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to decide how long to wash our clothes for and instead let a ‘smart’ (hint: it’s not smart) machine#do it for us#(hint part 2: this isn’t just about the clothes)#soni rambles#more like soni RANTS#i was already angry about the idea of ai in appliances but experiencing first hand how bad they are makes me even more angry#and a little scared for the future#now it’s 2am and the laundry is still stuck and im too upset to go to sleep. gah#and i don’t get mad easily.#oh and did i mention that to dry your clothes it wouldn’t let you select a temperature?? that it only said it would sense it itself??#see i like to dry all my clothes on low heat cause ive had a history of them shrinking#so not only are they trapped in the machine but it’s ‘too hot’ because it wouldn’t let us select a lower temperature.#luckily i didn’t put anything in that’s a material that usually shrinks
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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