#im just tired rn SOB
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awooo ,, outta curiousity howd you know you were therian?
boRK i dont entirely remember actually ? All i remember is learning about alterhumanity in general, learning about therianthropy and then going "👁️ i see.." and ive just rolled with it from there??
#sorry i. genuinely dont remember#sometimes i dont understand my own identity stuff#like i entirely blanked on why i was a holothere a minute ago#im just tired rn SOB#pup barkz#pup answers#dog holothere#canine holothere#ill come back to this if i remember sorry#definitely something about my neuro being divergent
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i was crying. now i’m watching disposable me
#js thoughts#guys#girl blogger#im so tired#shitpost#me#j speaks#sobbing crying throwing up#sobbing violently#sobbing rn#im crying#sobbing my eyes out#i’m going insane#i’m just a girl#i’m sorry#oh god#i’m so tired
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akdbdndjshdf
#feel fucking crazy sometimes ugh ik rn it’s partially bc im kinda tired and i haven’t eaten#but like i do kinda wanna cry bc my friends be planning smth without me LMFAOOOOOOOOOO#it sounds so dumb :| ik it’s not tho lmfaobscbdbdndndkkdksjdhekws#i honestly just need to stop thinking and eat smth or just go to sleep bc i rly don’t feel like#making food rn lmao but#idk i like writing out my thoughts here sometimes so i think imma do that ;-;#bc like my two friends who i’ve been seeing nonstop lately mentioned getting pho w a group#and i def think i said i wanted to join#but they all like were talking abt it today and i think they started a gc to plan it and they do actually have plans#but idk shit abt it#and ik if i asked they would say i can join#but goddammit i could not bring myself to ask today#and honestly even thinking abt needing to ask makes me kinda want to cry#BRUH i wish i was over friendship exclusion bullshit#it’s this one fucking friend in middle school who made me sob a million fucking times#bc she straight up ignored me when we were w other friends#and my friends rn don’t do that#but idk being left out of this gc has made me insane ig 😀😀😀#they can’t even all fit in her car……..#idk like they also never said anything directly to me abt it even tho they were talking abt it in my vicinity#they asked someone else if she wanted to go ;-; like kinda absently but still#i hate that im complaining abt this i hate that i feel fucking crazy complaining abt this#like i can totally see a world where i just fucking ASK and my roommates like oh shit ur not in the group i didn’t realize#but also i could be deluding myself#its literally. not that deep im seeing the two of them tmrw and i can ask when im not out of my mind#ugh fucking fuck sometimes i hate relationships#but ik to some extent that these ppl like spending time w me even if its hard to believe sometimes like rn ig#but to think i have to start all over in a few months and find those ppl again#💀💀💀💀💀🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠#anyway i’m fine i need to chill and do something productive 😭😭😭😭😭
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. Ugh
#i will prolly delete these because im just fucking tired rn#but i went for a walk to clear my head#and a group of ppl started yelling at me and shit#i was literally just sitting by the pool minding my bussiness#and ignored them at first#but they reminded me i am just fat and ugly lmfao#i just got back in my room and im trying to keep convo with my best friend#so i dont lose it#but im just sobbing like#yeah okay i guess im fat and stupid and ugly to look at#fucking sure w/e#should of just fucking thrown myself in there to drown#i feel so fucking embarrassed and hurt
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every time it's the end of the year i feel like i'm going insane like the entire year just culminates into me just mcfreaking losing it on new years eve
#first of all i am so tired. my cat is on this horrible schedule where she wakes up at like 11pm and so i end up staying up to play with#her until like 2am bc im like she slept all day she needs to play which is fine but i get up at 7 every morning and so ive been doing this#for like 2 weeks straight and im so tired. so last night at like 1am i was just playing with her just sobbing bc im so tired#but i feel so guilty just going to sleep when she wants to play so im like im not just going to not play so im sitting my bed#throwing her stupid little yarn for her just crying and she's like :) watching me throw it back and forth im like ok.#but that's whatever bc idc i'll do anything for her#then since saturday there has been this Smell in my hallway and i have looked everywhere for it and i dont even know what it is#but it's like a sour kind of just really irritating smell and it's not strong but it just lingers#and ive searched EVERYWHERE. and nothing is wrong so now i'm thinking maybe#something died on the roof in my bathroom vent fan thing bc i leave my bathroom window open all the time but#last night it was almost completely closed bc it was cold last night and i was like ok yeah it's stronger in here now#so i just taped a trash bag over it to see if it goes away and if that's it then i have to deal with that#also im getting my period so i know that's why im upset at all#then i have a lost package that ive been waiting for since a week before christmas and i was like hey can you guys like help me find my#package like it's not the company's fault but i wanted to know if they could like idk contact the shipper or something#and theyre like oh it's just tracking error :) it's on it's way#like ok. it's in a city an hour away from me and it's been in limbo between ups and usps since the 19th so no it's actually not coming at#all i think but they keep blowing me off#then i have to go to the store right now and i know it's going to be so crowded and anyway ok im done dumping and complaining#i just feel like im drowning rn but im going drink so much champagne tonight and forget it all
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God what mystical evil being must I fight with my bare hands to achieve the love of a Chubby goth girl that’ll ramble on about goth culture to me and make me pizza rolls when ever I get hungry.
#in the club sobbing rn#PLEASE GOD PLEASE IM TIRED OF BEING LONELY AND SINGLE PLEASE#PLEASE IVE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH JUST GIVE ME HER ALREADY#ILL GET THE PRESIDENT TO OIL UP AND TWERK IT IF I HAVE TO FOR ONE#PLEAS PLEASE PLAS Eea PLEASE#nero blabbing
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SOME DUMBASS HAD OPENED MY BACKPACK ON THE TRAM AND I DIDNT NOTICE IT THE WHOLE WAY HOME ARE YOU KIDDING ME
#cupid.exe#i did feel something but i thought that they had pulled a strand of hair#they were laughing at something at the guy behind me and i tried to ignore it as mich as possible#i probably have more fear of people stealing ny stuff then the average person (thanks mom) ehich is probably a good thing#so to see this happen is like nightmare level 20000 for me rn i might actually sob#thankfully i dont think anyone has actually taken anything but its still so werid#they pulled down the zipper with my pokemon keychain which is circual and thin and it probably got in the way#im tired of this school .. but i know that assholes are everywhere so id rather just be alone forever but i wont get some stupid diploma#if i go to individual classes... would save me aton of stress maybe but not worth it in the end#'u cant go without human interaction' too bad for me i guess
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me when ihave a dream about my 3rh closest friends all beyeaying me 🤯🤯🤯
#vent#duh#it was sostupid too im jjst. an idiot and emotional and i hate being left out and everyoneknows that wnd that dream has genunlu runed my day#woke up sobbing oops!and in that drupid thing everyome was like get over it itsnkt a big deal like ok sorry. sorry sorrywjqyever#amd none of themare here rigjt now and i miss them all so much and its not fair because ik they wuld never just abandon me for eahc otherbut#everytime i introduce my feiends to each other its like oh duh juli they like each other more! what did u expect! and im the stupidone for#feeling upset at being left out asthey go on witjout me and its like ok talk witjoug me whatever idc but. reallh. really#i was gonan wake up early and do all this stuff but i dont wang to get up anymote im so tired already i feel horrible#idec ab the otjer ppl calling me atupid and emotional or whatever buf ughj b#on the other hand in that dream i did a one pull and got childe twice excepf there were 2 versions of him for some reason???#like u could be childe OR tartaglia ?! idek what fhe difference was one jusg looked younger#erm. anwyay ☺️#post#maes tag#to delete#actually idk if fheyre aroun d rn im kind of too scared to do anything relagimg to them bc what if my nightmare was True!#(def wasnt)
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Share any Julie and Frank ideas you have :)
I’d like to hear them :D
sobbs ok I can't be coherent but I'll try
they cuddle so dang much,,,, like Eddie has to wait his turn
just finished a game? cuddles n tea
had lunch together? cuddle time bby
Frank's just tired and overwhelmed? feel better cuddles!
Julie's having a not great day? super cuddles.
these two can Not be in the same room without being either next to each other or on top on each other. Julie is only the Only people who can surprise hug Frank and they won't get upset. (Eddie can too, after they get together hehe)
they're both just so physically affectionate with each other. hugs, cuddles, hand holding. that cheek kiss thing french people do on tv.
Frank's calls Julie their Jewel. In my head at least. it's perfect, bc she is. Eddie is their Dear, Julie is their Jewel.
Julie is the only one to get away with calling them Frankie so often. Frank will occasionally tolerate it from others, but Julie is only one who Really gets away with it imo
They just love each other so much,,, Julie thinks Frank is funny,, I keep thinking of Two (2) things.
Barnaby's line: "A sense of humor only Frank could love"
I think Clown said that Frank and Julie would both write "Frank" on the funniest neighbor question from the worksheet.
These tidbits make me Weak. Maybe no one understands Frank and Julie's humor, or it's just terrible, but they think the other is funny. That means so much to me,,, sobs
They are so incredibly close that they Get each others humor even if makes No sense. I want a friend like that sniff
I think they can just look at each other and know how the other is feeling. Frank is so calm around Julie's wild antics that the other la probably think he doesn't even notice it. They do, they're just letting Julie have fun.
Also Frank has a somewhat wild side too and I love the idea of Julie bringing it out. They go bug hunting and Frank ends up 20ft off the ground in a tree having the time of their life. They get back and the two of them are covered in dirt, sticks, leaves, etc and they're holding hands and laughing and smiling and- Im just,,, sobbsss sobbing on the floor
wait I mentioned Eddie earlier hold on ok.
Eddie loves Frank and Julie's friendship. He's so happy to see them being happy together and having such a great time. I feel like Frank may have been worried about Eddie getting,, "jealous" ? over their friendship with Julie. But he isn't and he makes that very clear.
Eddie would end up getting closer to Julie and they become really good friends, I'm sure they've had their own cuddles at some point lol. Julie has that effect on people.
so now it's just,, all three of them in a cuddle pile in Frank's living room. Frank in the middle surrounded by his best friend and partner. sigh what a dream
cough this is getting long I think,,, and was complete nonsense. but just,,, Them! Frank and Julie. Julie and Frank. Inseparable besties. The champions of platonic cuddles and physical affection.
#wailing in the club rn#holds them gently#the ideal friendship#they are everything to me#literally thank u so much for this ask#ik it made no sense but im very tired rn#one thing i didn't mention/ramble about#the one audio where they're talking#and playfully talk about each others noses#nose like an orange#banana on his face#yeah i love them for that#they're just so playful with each other!#and giggly#while im over here sobbing at how cute they are#im going to chug some caffeine now#and play pokemon#maybe I'll think about them more who knows#welcome home#frank frankly#julie joyful#eddie dear#brief eddie appearance but he is here!#dizztalkstoomuch#neon child
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...
#theres a special kind of agony in tryinf to find an apartment in an college town with a housing shortage#everythings expensive as fuck and im sure its frustrating for everyone but i feel like its especially frustrating for me#bc it takes me so much fucking time to understand the information right in front of me and then i doubt myself so i have to check and check#and double check and triple check that im on the right website. that im inputting the right info#and its like. what if theres a better place i could b looking? like i found a management place to apply to thats expensive but less#expensive than another place but the building looks like its kinda on the edge of town like 15min drive from school#which i hate bc im an anxious freak and its gonna b worse than driving here bc itll get icey as fuck there#like proper inches of snow all winter. negative negative cold. so its like. do i take a nice apartment thats kinda far away#or a slightly more expensive apartment thats like 10min from school and more in town#and then theres the application stuff. and i cant fill anything out without having a full on like sobbing breakdown#but im that way abt everything. i do that all the time when i have to buy plane tickets#its exhausting. and i cant plan my exit until i know when i can move into a place. whatever. it doesnt help that my hormones r fucked rn#or i hope its the hormones. ive been so tired. so so tired. like sleeping 9hrs and still tired when usually im wired after only 7hrs sleep#i hate it. and super brain foggy. and this week i have to finish taking measurements for the last time#so i gotta decide if im gonna go in tomorrow or Monday to start it. its gonna suck so bad bc im gonna try to do it in 6 days. which will b#agony. but after that ill never have to do it ever again. ugh. im just so tired and i dont wanna limp my way into a new project feeling#like damaged goods. which is exactly what it feels like now. ive just done a very good job of making my job difficult#cant go into the lab without feeling physically ill. drained away all my joy. now theres only a sad distant recognition of how far ive#allowed myself to fall. i kno ill feel better once i have a place to stay and i can quit my job just getting there is taking an eternity#unrelated
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vent
#haha now im fucking sobbing im my bathroom bc i was texting one of my only 2 friends (not including my ex) about how nervous i am#then i started in about how i actually dont really want to go out & meet people & go on dates but at the same time#im so extremely tired of being lonely/alone & having absolutely no one to consistently hang out with & im so starved for love & gentleness#and tbqh all i want rn is someone to hold me. i want someone to actively want me/pursue me. i want someone to choose me & care about me#it really fucking hurts & sucks being on everyones backburner. im such a loving person. i have such a big heart & so much love to give#ive always been like that. ive always loved people with my whole being. always been happy & happy to make others happy#ive always prioritized peoples happiness & comfort & well-being FAR above my own#ive always heard the universe gives back what it receives from you......so whens it my turn to be wanted fully & loved in an unwavering way#my love has always been give give give...... i just want to receive the affection. the devotion. the loving tasks. for once. please.....#im not even looking for my forever or for my life partner or w/e. i just want someone who's excited to see me & wants to be in my presence#someone who; even if only for 1 day or 1 week or even 1 month; chooses me. chooses to stay.#i think......im tired. im gonna go play fallout nv until i pass out from exhaustion. im tired#emma vents#vent tag#sad boi hours#sad bitch hours#2023 tag
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I decided to read RW&RB after watching the movie and loving it so much, because I just knew the book would be better and honestly, when I finished it I was in shambless.
#As a hopeless romantic- I love this stuff but also it destroys me#i know it's fiction but.. sigh.. knowing I will never get to experience a love like that breaks me#and lately- after some stuff that's happened this year- I've had this feeling in the pit of my stomach#makes me sick to think about the whole love/finding a partner in this life aspect of things#because nobody wants to love anymore#and I've realized I want to and im willing to put my all into the right person#but nobody wants to be right nowadays#it's all so superficial#whew! i know this is deep. honestly Im kinda depressed and idk what to do with myself lol#dont get me wrong though I did LOVE the book ♡#I was full on sobbing in several parts towards the end of it#dont know if it was for the characters or for my deep rooted desire for something like that...#im so tired and the day hasnt even started#but ive been tired of everything for months tbh...#maybe im being overly melancholic but that's just how I feel rn#might still be re-reading the book either way#yeah it broke me but it was also really fun to read#specially the emails- fuck ♡#stuff#firstprince
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#word vomit#rant#I HATE ADS#FUCK THIS SITE#not really im just. so tired of the internet rn#i dont want to see ads anymore im about to lose it#i see an ad and i just feel like crying right now i cant explain it#was there a time before ads?#im so sick of this stupid society#no more ads#the next ad i see. i will sob#is this anxiety or something what is this#go di hate ads som uchdsknkfd njknfskdn nkd jkfnsd help i hATE THEM BACK BARK BARK I HAT EHTHEM
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#.img#how i feel rn#sobbed my eyes out driving to work and now my head hurts so much worse#didnt eat dinner so im starving too and the work vending machine doesnt have shit in it#ally was like dude hey youre shaking you need to sit down#and i told her if i stopped doing stuff id cry so#im not on the verge of tears anymore im just tired and things hurt#schiz voices have me going insane rn
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didnt think it was actually physically possible to experience worse period cramps than I was already getting every month but being back on the pill again has proven me wrong 🫠🫠🫠🫠
#bad enough i now have a new step on my pain scale i dont think ive experienced a 9 until now all i could do was sob and thrash around#its gone down to.maybe a 7.5 now but holy fucking shit. what the fuck is wrong with my fucking body. i can feel each cramp pass through#every individual muscle fibre thryre so strong im shaking. girl fucking chill out ur not in fucking labour!!!!!!!#nothing is fucking helping i took twice my usual dose of naproxen half an hour ago and it hasnt had an effect yet i wish i had#codeine that wasnt combined with ibuprofen bc i cant take another nsaid unless i want a stomach perforation fucks sake i usually have#cocodamol but im out rn maybe ill just take a bunch of paracetamol too and hope for the best#tens machine had absolutely zero effect the thing is i can feel the tissue doing the same involuntary spasming without it#the heat is the only thing bringing it down from that 9 i can already tell im getting burns but oh well#was very close to calling emergency services once i regained enough coherent thought to be able to open my phone#but i dont think theres any point now like itd be so low priority itd take hours and hours for anyone to show up by then itll have eased#man i would do fucking anything for smth stronger tho please. i can be trusted with morphine.#ik i have a friend with access to some maybe i should call him. its fucking 2am tho and he lives the next city over and idk him that well#and he was talking abt disposing of it anyway so maybe he doesnt have it anymore. ugrhfhjh. man#not finishing this course ik theres only 2 days left but fuck it. no more hormones unless they agree to prescribe me stronger painkillers#if i cant find a way of dealing with this shit im going to have to kill myself im not doing this every month for the rest of my life#its getting progressively worse anyway so maybe itll actually kill me before i can do it like maybe ill get a crazy rupture and bleed out#but man im in pain all the fucking time even if its mostly mild and then once a month i have to experience this and im supposed to carry#on living my life around that and waitlists for tests are years let alone treatment and i cant fucking afford to go private#and i dont know what to do any more about it im so so so fucking tired and it hurts so much and i wish someone else was here with me rn#and i havr to be up for work in 4 hours. although i wont physically be able to go in if this doesnt subside bc i cant fucking walk#but if i have to take a sick day and be alone with this pain without distraction. ahahahahahahaha. im in danger#okay okay okay i think meds are kicking in a little the edge is softening. im going to refill this again and try to sleep if i can#fucking drama man. my jaw hurts from clenching it so much#.vent
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Fuck.
#whT if i just. what if i just. what if i just#haha. hehehe. hahahaha. fuck. me.#i blinked. i fucking BLINKED. suddenly theyre yelling at each other.#'shes on her period her emotions are out of control rn'#no you dont understand. thats not how it works. you dont snap like that bc ur on ur period.#im scared. im so fucking scared. what#if she has bpd too. what if it passed down to her and its judt showing now?#yk when it happened i only felt hurt in my chest? i didnt feel anything at all. all that emotional training paid off ig#yeard and years of telling myself to shut my emotions off rlly worked bc ive never heard her scream and cuss like that before#yet i didnt feel anything. but i did feel my inner child crying. i felt deja vu.#a distant memory of when she was yelling and arguing with HIM while i cry and piss myself on the rug when i was barely 2 years old#when my mom yelled and started sobbing and started cussing and fuck#it was so triggering but it felt like my body stopped working. it stopped completely. but like#my instincts. felt. like. it was on fight or flight mode. i wanted to run. my legs ached and i couldnt walk but it felt like i wanted to run#i wanma falk about it i wanna ralk about it so bad but what if i talk too much and ppl see how depressed i really am#i dont want to give off rhat impression. i want to give off a happy impressiom even tho im not#for ronight. and tomorrow. i dont wanna function properly.#ive functioned enouvh this week. ill take a break today and tomorrow.#for tomorrow. ill pretend i died and my ghost is wandering around my room. for tomorrow ill rot my soul away.#ill pick up the pieces for it later. i dont feel like piecing myself together right now.#im so. im so fucking tired. i feel like the only thing thatll comfort me rn is to hug a clay statue of yuuta for some odd reason#ive been so unbelievanly depressed for the past few months fuck i want to die i want to die so bad#and theres not even like a single reason why. i dont rememver. i cant remember. i cant feel. anything.#i dont wsnt to live right now. can i just. die. and then get brought back to life later when i feel ready again.
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