#and a group of ppl started yelling at me and shit

[bunny-j3st3r]

. Ugh

[toytulini]

why is it so common for aita submitters to give ppl in their asshole scenarios Letters. can you just make up a fake name. please god?

[thatdeadaquarius]

after scrolling through your posts i felt complelled to send an ask (i wonder why)

This kinda? relates to all the languages posts you've been making (was giggling and kicking my feet while reading them, and got inspired) but because I only speak English, I wanted to put a twist on it.

Creator who has audio processing issues and doesn't realise that Teyvat DOES actually speak the same language as them for a good while.

Because as a person with very good hearing, i sure don't fucking understand what people are saying most of the time, especially in big crowds. (its like listening to the sims sometimes man, i'm fighting for my life trying to understand😭)

So imagine a Creator getting dropped into Teyvat and getting found by a group of hunters or treasure horders, who instantly start panicking and talking all at once because 'omg our god is here' and all that.

And the Creator is still confused and diorientated, so all they're hearing is ✨words✨and they just assume that no one in Teyvat will understand them.

And then when they arrive in one of the nations and get to meet the vision bearers for the first time, the Creator makes a thirsty comment about one of them (probably would be Diluc in my case) and the entire crowd just goes SILENT.

So silent that the Creator can perfectlly understand what that vision bearer said in response.

Anyway, i love your blog :) not sure when you're going to get this, time zones are funny, but I hope you like it

Giggling and kicking?? Over my stuff??? 🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘 You sneaky little charmer ✨️

ALSO

AUDIO PROCESSING DISORDER ASK!!!!?????!!!!

:D

IM IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYING TO GET ADHD DIAGNOSIS AND GOT AN APD TEST NOT TOO LONG AGO BC THOUGHT I HAD IT!!

FRIENDO!! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!! ✨️✨️✨️🌸🌸🌸

Have a cookie!! 🤲🍪 tysm for the ask im very very happy to see it!! :D!!

(subliminalmessagingyouwillgoclicktheaskbuttonandsendmeanasksubliminalmessaging)

AHFJDLLAHFAAJSK!! LOSING IT OVER THIS!!

(Me from the future editing: Sorry i wrote an entire sloppy written scenario over this its diluc focused, jfc sorry and i hope u get smth outta it 💀)

Oh good lord you being some kind of Creator god after getting sucked into the goddmn video game world is absolute HELL for your APD

Aint nobody tellin u nothing bc i can totally see that scenario happening bc everyone is like blabbering at you constantly, they all wanna get close to you to talk so its just [insert that general cafe crowd noises here]

Like u wish u had lofi to go with it bc u sure as hell cant get a word in edgewise

I know i keep writing abt Mondstadt, mostly bc first city -> intro to game -> therefore you land there

But i promise ill branch out guys but i got an excuse this time u mentioned Diluc 🔥

Honestly bc u probably arent trying to talk back to them (which they dont rlly know why? Bc they totally have heard ur voice while u were in ur world, when they were ur vessels)

They kinda assumed either A. You lost your voice B. You're overwhelmed, ppl r getting WAY too close to you, back off Npcs C. Or you don't speak THEIR language

So ofc Mondstadt brings you into the city and their planning a big ol festival, u came right in time for Windblume anyway, and by the time your done shaking hands and just waving and smiling (bc what else can u do u cant hear these fuckers, maybe u caught a "the" or a "hello" but you could've definitely been imagining it)

And finally you are free of the general crowd, but most of the Vision bearers (Allogenes) who were ur vessels wanna stick around, so u all end up in Angel's Share somehow

It's hella packed, and it's a bar.

So yeah u still can't hear shit, and now it just sounds like one of those fantasy medieval bar audios ambience videos

Ur just kinda kicking ur feetsies on a bar stool while like,, 4 or 5 differrent special character dishes are sitting in front of you

Diluc's behind the bar, and has been so sweetly attentive to you all evening, no matter how many tipsy patrons come up yelling for refills or drinks (or at least thats what u assume, bc u kinda end up just,, jumping and hitching ur shoulders up and trying to be lowkey about covering ur ears...)

He always comes and refills ur glass when it gets to even half-full, swiping away plates that have gone cold, and if you still want smth off of it, he's so perceptive no language needed bc he just sees your face and starts heating up the plate again with his vision with his hand :)

He's actually been the best thruout all this bc he already isn't super talkative, so ur pretty sure you've only seen his mouth open a few times, but otherwise u just communicated with him via actions/expressions

So ur chilling, well sorta, ur starting to kinda get overstimulated by the day and now this loud ass bar, and the fact that ur convinced no one speaks English here...

But hey!

Diluc's cool, u got food, and maybe u can charade to him u wanna find somewhere to retire to now for the night,,

You try and do that but he's pretty busy running around still,

"Damn, at least I get to see his ass though."

.

..

...

Diluc freezes.

You freeze.

Jean, Lisa, Venti, Amber, Kaeya, Rosaria freezes.

The whole bar goes silent.

Their god of gods finally spoke.

Oh they can understand you alright. (Also u were looking right at Diluc when you said it so, kinda obvious who u mean, somebody points to you behind Diluc)

Diluc just kinda,, sputters, like jerkily turns around and everything like a fried robot

"I- ahem- I- um- y-your Grace- I-"

Poor guy.

He doesn't even know what to say 🤷‍♂️

He has been progressively getting closer and closer to his hair color, his cheeks, his neck, his ears its a full white boy flush he cant escape its so obvious (should he say thank you? How do u even begin to thank a god for complimenting ur ass??!!)

He's caught between facing you and turning around and ducking back into the kitchen and never coming out again (unless it's just you two)

...Was it always this hot in here? Or did Diluc do this to you? 😵‍💫

(Well at least it's a lot quieter now)

You take the next logical step in this situation, and gently let your head thud into the bar.

...

It's a tie between Venti and Kaeya who busts out laughing first.

CHRIST ALMIGHTY IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I HOPE TUMBLR MAKES IT "READ MORE" BC I CANT FIND THAT OPTION ON MOBILE

IF U KNOW WHERE THAT BUTTON IS PLS LET A BITCH KNO 😭😩

UPDATE I FIGURED IT OUT FUCK YEAH

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at someone, making them cry, and indirectly making them loose their friends

This happened several years ago but it plays on my mind sometimes. Everyone in this story is 15/16 at the time, in our last year at secondary school, UK. (🏎️ for finding this)

Myself, my girlfriend at the time [F], my best friend [B], F's friend [D], and a few of our other mutual friends were hanging out at lunch break. There aren't enough chairs at the table so F and I leave to go get extra. I come back and nothing seems amis.

Adding in some context now. No one in this story is cishet. We were all painfully awkward queer teens who haven't figured ourselves out yet. So we were all bottom of the social ladder, very much 'losers'. Me and F were, to my knowledge, the only 'same sex' couple in school. So by this point I'm used to people constantly making remarks about our relationship, but that's usually from ppl I didn't know or care about.

D is the only person, at this point, at school who's openly trans and genderqueer. They got a lot of hate for it. A lot of people harassed them and they didn't have many friends. I think for transparency's sake I have to say, I didn't really like D, we just didn't jell, but I made an effort to be kind and include them bc it's hard being queer in secondary school and I'm not gonna add more hate to that when me not getting on with them was my issue not theirs. And as a fellow victim of bullying I wasn't gonna exclude them from our friend group

Back to the story. As soon as we're back in classes, B tells me that D leant over to them while me and F were gone and said that it's "so sad seeing A and [OP] together" because "I took F's first kiss" and "poor [OP]". I trusted B's word on this as at that point we'd been best friends for several years, they weren't a shit stirrer, and had no reason to lie. In fact, they were confused D even said that to them since they were barely friends and knew B was best friends with me and would tell me they said that.

Hearing this really annoyed me. While I knew F and D had dated in the past, that didn't and shouldn't have effected mine and F's relationship in any way. And they'd been broken up well before I knew either of them. It's none of D's business who F kisses, and it's a shitty idea that because they'd dated before their later relationship first didn't mean as much. It felt very much like a dick thing to think never mind say about me and F. Also, B was my best friend, who did D get off to shit talking me to my best friend?

Anyway. Usually at the end of the day, several of us walked home together, and this group included D. I get to the spot we usually wait first and when I see D I confront them. I ask them why they'd say that and if they've got a problem with me. They don't deny saying it or really explain themself at all, they just look guilty. At first I kept calm. I knew D was F's friend and I didn't want to put a wedge in their friendship because of any issue I had with D. But, I keep asking why they did that, and if they've got something against me. If they're gonna shit talk me yanno. Then D starts crying.

I know it probably shouldn't have but this made me really mad. So I start yelling at them, saying something along the lines of 'so you're going to be an asshole to me and then you're gonna start crying?' and 'you started this, why are you crying?'. They start saying something along the lines of 'I didn't mean it like that' so I ask how did you mean it? And that they knew it wasn't something fine to say, because they said it behind my back and not to my face.

By this point, other people are watching, some of which were our mutual friends. I keep demanding they explain themself or at least apologize to me, but instead they run off crying. I don't follow them. If they're going to remove themself from the situation then fine.

People start asking what the hell that was about and I explain briefly to the people I knew and told the people I didn't to mind their own business. Someone I don't know tells me Ds gone to the head of year and I tell them I don't care, let them, I didn't do anything wrong. (This later amounts to nothing as no teacher ever comes to speak to me about this, so I doubt D did go to the head of year at all)

Eventually the people who were curious about what happened leave. All of the group who walk home together show up, including F. I explain to F what happened and they're upset that D said that about me, but wasn't happy to hear that D left crying.

For the rest of the school year, D ends up avoiding me. Literally staying out of my way, moving if I even glanced over at them. I thought they were overreacting. I never threatened them, and they were the one who chose to be an asshole first. I felt they were making this much more than it needed to be by avoiding it all together. We barely had an argument before they left, but anyone would have thought I'd attacked them or something. But because I obviously was always around F, D didn't have anyone to hang out with anymore. F was their only real friend and their other sort of friends were in our friend group.

No one told them they couldn't hang out with us anymore. (I'm pretty sure because they started avoiding me, I never ended up speaking to them again.) I know they still spoke to F still, but it seemed like their friendship was heavily damaged by it all.

D later ended up dropping out and finishing the school year through home schooling. I believe this was in large part due to the harassment they got for being genderqueer openly. (I remember on several occasions standing up for D and telling people to stop being transphobic assholes behind Ds back after this argument happened. Just because we didn't get along doesn't mean was gonna let that shit slide.)

I feel like I could be the asshole because due to this whole situation, D stopped hanging around their friends and through that lost a lot of the support they had. And obviously, I did make them cry.

On the other hand, no one stopped them from hanging out with their friends. They chose to avoid me and the situation. A situation they started by being a dick to me with zero provoking. They never apologized or recanted what they said. It's hard to feel bad that they lost their friends because they were being a shitty friend

Luckily, from what I know from friends of friends, D is doing better now and is around ppl who support them

This got a lot longer than I wanted but I believe I got all the details in there.

So, wita?

What are these acronyms?

[unhingedkinfessions]

(TQ USER IM NOT YELLING I JUST TYPE LIKR THIS I FORGOR I HAVE TO PUT A DISCLAIMER EVER TIME OR WHATEVER) HAI !! FIRST TIME SENDING AN ASK HERE LMAO. SO I TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THIS KINNIE DISCORD SERVER DRAMA I HAD SO I MIGHT AS WELL SUBMIT IT HERE.

SO IM A VRISKA SERKET KINNIE, UNFORTUNATELY. BUT BACK IN 2022, I BELIEVED I WAS DIRK STRIDER, DUE TO SHITTY IDENTITY ISSUES AND PROBABLY OTHER THINGS. I HAD RECENTLY GOTTEN MY KINNIE BOYFRIEND (NOW EX) INTO HOMESTUCK, AT THE TIME. WE’LL CALL HIM SODA. SO SODA HAD MET THIS GIRL ON TIKTOK, GOING BY THE NAME TRANSFEM TEREZI. SHE HAD A BUNCH OF FOLLOWERS AND WAS GENERALLY WELL KNOWN ON HOMESTUCK TIKTOK. SO THEY BECAME BESTIES, AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS NEAT SO I STARTED TALKING TO HER ON DISCORD. WE BECAME BESTIES AS WELL !!

SO WE ALL KINNED FROM HOMESTUCK, THEREFORE WE DECIDED TO MAKE A HOMESTUCK KINNIE SERVER. AFTER A FEW DAYS IT WAS DONE, AND TEREZI INVITED ALL OF HER FOLLOWERS. ALL OF US BEING DUMB AND HAVING NO MODERATION EXPERIENCE, WE MODDED RANDOM PEOPLE, WHICH WILL BE IMPORTANT L8TER.

THE SERVER WAS PRETTY ACTIVE AND EVERYONE WAS HAVING FUN. FOR LIKE 5 DAYS. ONE DAY, I WAS AT THE BEACH WITH MY FAMILY AND MY PHONE WAS IN THE CAR. ONCE WE WERE DONE, I CAME BACK TO CHECK IT. AND THERE IT WAS, 100+ NOTIFS. I WAS CONFUSED AND WENT ON DISCORD, ONLY TO SEE THE HORRORS:

TONS OF DMS FROM 6 DIFFERENT PEOPLE, 3 DIFFERENT NEW GROUP CHATS, 5 PEOPLE ASKING ME WHAT HAPPENED, AND SOME PEOPLE TELLING ME TO DIE. I WAS SO DAMN CONFUSED, SO I LOOKED TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND ASKED ABOUT IT.

APPARENTLY, A GUY NAMED BEEF NUTS JOINED THE SERVER AND STARTED SPAMMING SLURS AND SCAT JOKES, AMONG OTHER THINGS. REASONABLY, ONE OF THE MODS BANNED HIM. THIS TURNED OUT TO BE A HORRIBLE IDEA, AS ONCE HE WAS BANNED, THE OTHER MODS AND SOME MEMBERS GOT PISSED AND STARTED SPAMMING “JUSTICE FOR BEEF NUTS,” WHICH HAD CAUSED TEREZI TO JUST GET STRESSED AND FUCKING LEAVE THE SERVER WHILE IT ALL WENT DOWN??

SOON ENOUGH, THE SERVER WAS IN SHAMBLES. EVERYONE WAS CONFUSED AND THE OWNER HAD LEFT, PLUS CHANNELS WERE CLOGGED. EVENTUALLY, WE DID DAMAGE CONTROL, AND FIXED IT UP.

AFTER THAT, EVERYONE WAS FUCKIN PISSED AT TEREZI. WE DUG UP A BUNCH OF STUFF ABOUT HER AND JUST DECIDED TO H8 HER. WE CALLED HER ABLEIST AND RACIST AND TRANSPHOBIC, AND WENT TO HUNT HER DOWN AND HARASS HER, BECAUSE DUMB CHILDREN.

AFTER SHIT GOT REAAAL BAD, SHE DECIDED TO RESPOND TO THE ALLEGATIONS. HER RESPONSE WAS BASICALLY “IM A SYSTEM NOT A KINNIE NOW ACTUALLY. ONE OF MY ALTERS IS JUST AN ASSHOLE” AND EVERYONE BELIEVED HER I GUESS BECAUSE PPL STOPPED TALKING ABOUT IT.

MORE HAPPENED L8TER BUT IM SAVING THAT FOR ANOTHER ASK. REMEMBER ME AS VRISKA ANON. BAI :333

ok thats cool and all but all i asked is if you wanted fries with that not so happy meal. a bit weird that you're admitting to harassing some random maybe-system who got overwhelmed and prolly didnt deserve to get hated on like its such a funny story. from what youve said here in this drivethrough with the broken sign and cracked pavement it sounds like you guys were weird and in the wrong. "dumb children" 2022 was last year own up motherfucker

have a bit of shame and compassion in your heart girl we aint your friends. but what do i know im just a humble worker here at uhkfdonalds or some shit

[aizenat]

Oh, and the Arab people with British accents trying to talk down to Black Americans are hilarious to me. Didn’t your nation leave the EU because you idiots thought no one would vote for the referendum and so yall didn’t care to show up and vote? Didn’t yall have a conservative government for the last decade that you literally just voted out a couple of months ago? Doesn’t your fucking country ALSO SEND MONEY TO SUPPORT ISRAEL BECAUSE THEY’RE A PART OF NATO AND BRITAIN IS DETERMINED TO BE AMERICA LITE????

Funny how when yall had YOUR election, I didn’t hear any Americans telling yall that voting Labour was the same as voting Tory, and you’re a horrible person for voting Labour and not just letting the conservatives win (especially when Labour leaders were being very loud in their support of Israel). How come yall weren’t expected to not vote as a fuck you to zionist positions in the Labour Party? How come yall didn’t call people in your own country voting for Labour bad people who don’t care about Palestinians and genocide??????

I get America is a “superpower,” but that doesn’t mean we should just let yall talk down to us and yell at us about our own country like we don’t live here and know. In fact, this reaction the first time Americans actually did start giving a fuck about calling out our country for its imperialism (BTW, WE’VE ACTUALLY BEEN DOING THAT: VIETNAM, IRAQ/AFGHANISTAN, AND NOW PALESTINE; WE BEEN PROTESTING THESE WARS! JUST BECAUSE OUR MEDIA DOESNT COVER IT AND SHOW IT TO THE WORLD DOESNT MEAN IT WASNT HAPPENING), I can see people who may have started getting into geopolitics backing off because nothing we do is ever good enough. We not even allowed to vote in our own best interests without our support being questioned. GTFO of here with that shit. Who are you talking to? We’re not Ray j down the way, we’re the fucking activists keeping this conversation going!

And to zero in on BLACK PEOPLE of all people to say we not doing enough?????? Yall are crazy. The whites don’t care, the Asians don’t care, the Latinos and Hispanics don’t care. But you zero in on US? The literal group of people in this country who have the LEAST amount of power? I was laughing because one girl was like “yall join the military and gleefully spread imperialism” and like sure Black people are over represented in the military (we’re 14% of the population but make up about 17-20% of the military force); HOWEVER, when I was looking those numbers up, I was directed to an article saying how despite being over represented as soldiers, we are UNDERREPRESENTED AS COMMANDING OFFICERS/TOP BRASS! Meaning we are not the ones making the decisions on who we attack!

Out of 46 presidents, ONE had been Black. ONE. There had still, as of 2024, NEVER BEEN A BLACK FEMALE GOVERNOR OF ANY STATE IN THE US.

Just because there are some rich Black celebs and Obama was a recent memory does not mean WE HAVE POWER in this country! Our issues are ignored just like y’all’s! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO???????

The disrespect man lol. I’ll always support Palestine, but am I mad at the ones saying “I’m going to focus on supporting the Congo/Sudan/Haiti” instead? Nah. Cuz yall feel so entitled to us being your slaves doing the work of your activism but don’t know how to give us even the slightest of respect to not tell us we’re bad ppl just for being excited to vote in our first female black president. GTFO. I’m super hype to vote for Kamala. I’m buying merch from her campaign to support and spread awareness to get more to vote for her. That makes you mad, don’t care.

[spookymaesblog]

ACOTAR Review

Alright yall, i am 3/5 of the series done and what the fuck. I picked this series for the fucking and its FUCKING me emotionally.

(THIS WILL HAVE SPOILERS)

Basically the first book (a court of thorns and roses) starts out with feyre in the woods hunting. it is snowin like a mf in this forest and she's going on about how she has to catch something something tonight while she is out or her and her family are gonna die within a week. She's apparently in this clearing or some shit and a doe comes into her view and she is like 'oh shit, nice' and starts getting her bow and arrow ready, thinking to herself how she only has three arrows (i understand she is poor but & i dont hunt but wtf girl?? 3?? ok) and two are normal and one is made of ashwood. (some special ass tree that kills fairies idk) as she is getting her arrow ready, she looks up and sees a wolf is also stalking the deer, yikes. she is like 'oh fuck, wtf' and looks around and realizes it just one wolf and is like 'eh i can kill it' (go off queen) but then she sees the size of it and stops like 'HUH' bc the motherfucker has glowing eyes and is HUGE. she goes onto this long ass inter monolog about how the fae/old gods used to rule the world and keep humans aas salves and would treat them like shit and torture them and all this other shit. basically she is like FUCK FAIRIES loud and proud and shoots the fuckin wolf. the wolf doesnt do shit and lets her kill it, she SKINS the damn thing (oh yeah it killed the deer lmao) and puts the deer in its skin???? HELLO?? and carries it home. when she gets home, you meet her two sisters (Nesta and Elain) and her dad (kinda a loser). they are in this small shake excuse of a cottage that is literally barely keeping them alive, around a fire trying to stay warm. nesta (who is a BITCH) is like "what and where the fuck did you get that?" and they kinda go back forth over stupid shit on money and who needs a new cloak or boots (you learn nesta and elain just spend money even though they broke as shit bc their dad made a bad sale and lost all their money) and feyre wants to punch them and asks nesta to cut more wood for the fire and nesta is like "fuck you no" and feyre is like "bitch you are gonna marry a man who farms but you cant cut wood? okay" and nesta storms off to the shared room and shared bed. ( i think they all share the room).

the next day, feyre and her sisters head to the market that is happening instead the town to sell the pelts. at the front of the market they are stopped by a group of weirdo they called 'children of the blessed' and apparently these ppl are 'fairy loving whores' who pray to the fae and old gods and willing sacrifice themselves over to them. one of the girls corners the sisters and tries to talk some shit to them and elain goes useless and just hides behind nesta as she yells at the girl and goes back and forth with her for awhile and shows her the iron bracelet on her wrist (apparently wards off fairies) as this is all happens feyre uses it as an excuse to kinda slip off as it comes to an end and runs off to try and find some to sell the pelts to. she finds a big bitch standing by a fountain and is like 'work' and goes up to her and the lady is like '??? wtf you want?' and feyre is like ''you want some pelts?'' and the lady who turns out to be a fuckin mercenary is like ''who killed them??" and feyre goes "me" and the merc is like '?? this bitch fr rn?' and just stares at her for a lil and basically ends up buying them and guves her away too much money for them talking some shit about how someone did it for her once and now she wants to repay. they SOMEHOW get on the topic of fairies and the merc tells feyre how she has fought and killed one and everything that she knows and how she shouldn't fuck with them and stay away from the wall and all this shit and how she always died and shows her nasty ass leg she has. you know this bitch aint gonna listen.

later that day after they have ate dinner, they are just hanging out and it is snowing some big ass beast comes bustin throuh their dingy ass cottage screamin n howlin "WHO KILLED HIM" over and over and them whole family is like ???!!??!?!?! and finally feyre is like ''who??'' and the beast is like "ANDRAS!! THE WOLF!! and she is like 'damn.................' and the family is all like "no one killed anyone!! we promise!! just leave!!!" and the beast is sniffing around and smells his dead friend in the house and starts losing it and is screaming and feyre's stupid ass goes "what to say..... if someone did kill him......'' and the beast says "LIFE FOR A LIFE" or "you come and live in Prythian for the rest of your life on my land" and feyre is like "just kill me!!!!' and basically her dad convinces her to leave and go and live in with the beast in the fairy realm and she leaves.

she wakes up about two days later after waking up from being knocked out with magic from annoying the fuck outta the beast and is in a room where there is a fairy getting her clothes and she is like ??? and the fairy is like "im alis, im the maid, get dressed" and feyre gets pissy and refuses to wear a dress and puts on random ass clothes and goes downstairs to the dining room in this big ass manor and is meet to see this hot ass big man sitting at the table (his a blonde tho, a shame) with a gold mask on and she is like?? basically he is the beast, his name is Tamlin, another comes in, he is way hotter and a red head with a fox mask and his name is Lucien (who she should of picked) and they talk and she learns shit.

shes super annoying for a couple of chapters (rightrfully so i understand but stfu) and then finally gets okay, she hangs out with tamlin and lucien more and you can tell she is starting to like tamlin. she is wanting to learn more but tamlin is kinda weird and doesnt wanna tell her shit so she goes to lucien. he tells her to trap this ugly ass fairy called a Suriel. she does it and basically fucking DIES but is told "stay with the high lord" and shes like HUH and finds out tamlin is a high lord. she is almost killed bny these ugly ass things called a  Naga and tamlin comes and saves her. she learns that the blight is a sickness that is in the lands and thats why they wear the masks.

some time goes by and its spring and there is a festival going on and she is like "okay fun!' and tamlin is like "you cant go" and she is like "? fuck you" and she fucking sneaks out and goers anyway. well her dumb ass goes into this cave area n gets caught by some random ass fairies and then someone saves her and goes "oh there you are, ive been looking for you'' and she looks at him and is like "oh god damn" and thinks "this is the finest mf ive ever seen" and then lucien finds her and is like "YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOTTTTTTTT STUPID BITCH" and brings her inside and tells her what the holiday actually is and how tamlin is giving back his power to the land for spring and then has to FUCK(??) and she needs to be away. she is like ?? and just goes to her room and then SNEAKS OUT AGAINNNNN later and runs into tamlin in the manor and he fucking presses her into a mall and they start making out and bumping and grinding and then bites her?? and then they go to bed.

more time goes and then it is summer or some shit i think and they are more into each other and they are having lunch or some shit and tamlin n lucien are like ??? HIDE bc they sense someone coming and lucien shoves feyres ass against a wall and covers her and puts a glamour on her to protect her and the hot ass mf from the festival night (rhysand) comes in like a jack ass and gives them shit. basically he realizes there is a glamour and is like FUCK YALL and makes it go away and sees feyre and is like "oh i know you" and goes into her mind and looks at tamlin like "why is she thinking about fuckin you??" and tamlin starts begging him not to tell this bitch named amarantha and rhysand makes him and lucien bow down to him and he leaves.

tamlin freaks out and is like "YOU HAVE TO LEAVE" and they FINALLY fuck andsays I LOVE YOU and then he makes feyre leave and go back to the mortal lands (he family thinks she has been helping a wealthy sick aunt, tamlin has been taking care of her family and made them rich again) and lucien was pissed she left. she gets back and nesta is like "wtf i remember everything you better spill bitch" and basically helps her after two weeks to get her back to the spring court after finding out nesta tried to save her.

feyre makes it back and the manor is fucked up from ppl destroying it and stealing everyone away and she finds alis there and alis basically tells her the truth. tamlin was LYING ABOUT EVERYTHINGGGGG. amarantha was a family friend of tamlins dad (dead) and was pissed tamlin wouldnt fuck her so she cursed him that he had to find a human girl with so much hate in her heart for fairies to kill one of his men and to get her to agree to come back and live on his land and fall in love with him in a certain amount of time and the curse thats on EVERYONE IN PRYTHIAN is lifted and thats why they wear they mask and she stoles bits of all the high lords powers.

feyre goes to where they are all at to save tamlin and agrees to do some hunger games ass trails with amarantha once a month on a full moon for 3 months or solve a riddle. jokes on feyre she is fucking ILITERATE. she gets the shit beat out of her and tamlin just watches. we learn that rhysand is amaranthas whore/right hand man and is taking a weird liking to feyre. he is randomly visiting/helping her. her first challenge is to fucking fight this big ass worm and she uses some damn bones and wins. lucien screamed out to help her, rhysand bet on her winning, she fucking broke her arm to the bone sticking out and is dying in her dirty ass vomit cell. rhysand comes and visit and is like 'i can save you but you have to make a deal and come hang out with me two weeks out of them month' and she is like 'fuck you ill die' and he goes to leave and she gets him to agree to one week and they make the deal and he seals it with a tattoo on her arm and heals her.

rhysand keeps basically helping her through out all the trials and the two nexts months she is under the mountain. you are kinda like ?? do we like him?? do we hate him?? its hard to tell. he is making her dress like a whore and getting her drunk every night but not doing anything with her but watching her and bringing her to her cell and helping with chores and shit. her second challenge is a fucking READING one and shes like "well...' and rhysand helps her through the bond of the deal tattoo and she wins.

the third challenge is to kill three fairies with an ashwood dagger, she kills the first two and when she goes for the third, its tamlin. she starts sobbing and freaking out as everyone is laughing ang hootin and hollering but then she remembers alis saying "you know everything already" and how she has over heard multiple times that ppl have said tamlin has a heart of stone so she goes on a limb and stabs the fucker. she is right and wins and the curse is broke and amarantha is pissed tf off and is like "WELL I DIDNT SAY WHEN HAHAHA" and everyone is pissed off and starts a riot and then feyre figures out the riddle and says the answers and amaratha is even more mad and starts beating the shit out of feyre and KILLS her.

tamlin starts sobbing and just holds her not doing SHIT and RHYSAND stabs amarathna and then tamlin starts doing shit and kills amarthana and then goes back to feyre and is like "please!!!!" and all of the high lords come up and give a lil shit light of something on her and we see that feyre is seeing something through another persons eyes and realize it is rhysands and because of the tattoo and then she falls asleep and this bitch WAKES UP!!!! and she is a HIGH FAE!!! the girl won and she was a fairy.

9/10 very good book, love the turns and twist def recommend, is a slow burn tho

[pennydoe]

Who were you even talking to?

basically this dude named Rookie and me and my friend group on VRC were all friends with him and he was always like.. rlly blergh but i couldn't say anything but basically he'd always threaten ppl literally and he'll like randomly yell "STUPID FATTY!!" or just call our one friend, Ruby, a bitch and fatty constantly and he was like unhealthy obsessived and attacthed to his boyfriend and one day my friend King called Rookies Bf sweetheart and rookie and his bf lost their shit and literally threatened to bomb his house and slit his throat and shut

I kinda lost my shit as well and sent like 3 paragraphs of how fucked up rookie is and then rookie left literally every single GC we were in and cried to his brother, Root, and then Root dmed me and we argued for like 20 minutes but it got literally no where cause all Root wanted to do was 'tell me his side of the story' even though he literally isn't even friends with me or anyone in my friend group

Fast forward 3 months and my friend, Claudia, tried to reach out to Root to be like "Hey!! how you doin??;3" cause claudia's a rlly good person right? well root was like "I don't want to talk to you ever." and blocked the mf but then rookie called claudia like an hour later and made claudia have a panic attack and start breaking down and that bitch rookie literally said "It fulfills me to hear you cry." as if that mf didn't sob when i called them out

So after I learned abt that i actually lost my shit and dmed rookie like "you wanna stop being a little bitch?" and then he told me to mic up so of course i did and then i argued with both him and his brother for 11 minutes and made them cry cause they're both so fucking toxic

[foxfairy06]

HIIIII poookkksss its ollie, u banned me so ill yell at you on tumbllrrr <33333. YOU ARE A JOKKKE. "No cause i literally got diagnosed on the phone but ok hunn go off". okay sure, seriously doubtful because you could lie over the phone... did you know that... bet you didnt. anyway. like thats your reply to what u actually have to do to get a diagnosis, so your over the phone shit is actual bullshit. like its not covid no reason to do that, and also they need to see you in person and have you explain how your feeling aswell as your movements and the way that you respond to questions to get a diagnosis, or they will ask your family and friends or your teaching if they have noticed behavior that is needed for your diagnosis. so BULLSHIT BULLSHIT :333. Telling me to touch grass, god you so basic oml. also calling me a hypocrite when your a literal exclusionist , which you get to decide what is and isnt in the lgbtqia+ community is hypocrisy. from the merriam webster "a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings" and something you said in our messages, "The basis is lgbt topics. It's meant to be a place for lgbt exclusionists to gather" you say you support ppl of lgbtq but if they dont meet your criteria or if you dont think their queer you exclude them. thats hypocrisy. anyway hope you actually get the help you need so you can WAKE THE FUCK UP for you stupidity <3 which i will continue to state because my proof above proves it <3.

-ollie p.s you are still a ball of sperm we all are its not rude its a literal fact

p.p.s if you bring up what i said in the server here is a message i sent to you "i was spewing BULLSHIT" which you know is because i am a troll and i was gathering dirt on you pooks

p.p.p.s i have screenshotted all of out chats <3 karmas a bitch she is coming for you.

Karma for??? Being a good person? I didn't say anything rude, homophobic, or bad to you so you have no actual leverage here. That's like saying "i took screenshots so karma is coming for you<3" to the poor child you just harassed that eas being respectful and kind to you the whole time.

For those who don't understand, green text to the rescue!

> be ollie

> be sitting at your moms computer, bored

> decide your life isn't angry enough

> create an entire Tumblr spewing radmed shit thinking transmeds will follow you

> find a transmed with a server

> start saying super homophobic shit and harass everyone

> get muted for being homophobic and transphobic and harassing people

> message all the mods and call them names for muting your

> admit you were trolling then scream and cry at the owner for being transmed while calling him names and making strawmen and adhominem

> get banned

> still be a pissbaby who can't stop being angry with his life

> decide touching grass is too much

> go leave a novel of an ask under the owners Tumblr that makes several assumptions and zero sense then question their means of diagnosis.

For those who don't have context, i am trans, I am duosex, I went to a therapy place for free, and saw a therapist. He immediately started going through the criteria for dysphoria because I asked but we ran out of time. So I'm getting my diagnosis finished over the phone. It took me two appointments and $0 to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis. So stop acting like this is difficult or hurting anyone.

It's not hypocrisy to provide a safe space for a group and exclude people. You would provide a safe space for enben that has binary people in it? Because they aren't enby. Thus they don't need that space, and could fuck it up.

You're the hypocrite calling me names and crying and screaming at me calling me crazy. Seriously get some help. Therapy is an option. If you don't feel safe in your current mental state you could always check in at an ER and tell them you need help. You could also look around. Many places provide therapy for free. Utilize these resources and stop harassing strangers online. I hope that goes well for you.

[zephrr]

Uhhh Scream AU..and Jason is one of the Ghostface and Andy is the other...just some moments. (Jason and Andy are the murderers. Patrick and Chance know abt it but don't want to be involved in killing so they are fake alibis.)

----------

Eddie and Steve are stuck together, bloodied and beaten due to encountering Ghostface (Jason) and now they're stuck with no where else to go and Jason is literally almost bursting into the room with brute force, slamming himself against the door repeatedly.

Eddie, one to not think while in fear, loudly exclaims;

"They gotta be at most 5'6, theres no way we can't beat them."

Jason stops and points at himself, offended. They just called him short... He's average height, tyvm. (They escape through the window.)

------

The entire group is caught lacking by both Jason and Andy. Jason is behind them, Andy is in front. Someone dropped their gun and Andy picked it up, shooting Chrissy in the leg twice.

"Shit, Shit!" they looked around try to protect Chrissy and themselves but they were so focused on Andy and his gun that they forgot abt Jason. Jason ends up taking Gareth out the game. Straight up brutal.

Jason runs away, leaving only Andy.

"So what, you and your little girlfriend are just gonna kill us off one by one?" Robin asks, angrily.

Andy stops, looks around and imitates laugher.

"What's so funny?!"

Andy just walks away, they killed Gareth and Chrissy is almost done for so might as well walk away.

------

At the end of it, most of the ppl survived. Robin, Chrissy, Eddie, Steve, Lucas, Dustin, Max, and Mike (hospitalized though).

They were just hanging out in Steve's house, then Chrissy gets a call. It's Ghostface ofc.

"Did ya miss me, Chris' ?" Is all he said before hanging up. Jason and Andy show up again.

"What do you want from us?!" Chrissy practically yelled. They just got closer. Until they were basically touching them. Andy took off his mask.

"We, truely, didn't want this to go far...we only wanted Eddie at first but you guys got in the way." Andy stated.

"And? What abt your girlfriend, she needs to show her face too to know who's fucked up." Dustin stated, clearly alert.

Andy laughed. Jason pointed at himself and looked around. He was about to murder this kid. Girlfriend?! She?!

Jason took off his mask as well. The group was shocked...he was playing the role of the protective boyfriend/ex. He had alibis for where he was...HE DIED. THEY SAW HIM DIE.

"We...you..." Chrissy started.

" 'W-w-we', shut up," Jason teased, "I don't like how you guys thought I was a woman this whole time. Over my height."

"We saw you die." Robin stated. Jason giggled. "Die? Me? Nah, that was a fake. It took all the blame off me."

They were in shock... but hey, afterall...

It's always someone you know.

------

(..also Chrissy left Jason like during all this so...yeah)

They didn't get caught btw. They left the state. Never to be seen again...just like Stu. In the end, they killed 7 ppl and hospitalized 3. (Not including innocent civilians.)

[shithead-123]

Kotlc collecting habits Pt.2

Basically what I think various kotlc characters (mostly the kids) would collect. other than prattles pins bc we all know everyone collects those so.

this is inspired by my own habits of picking random shit up and stuffing it in my closet.

Tam: Again like Linh, not much of a collector. I think he's the least collect-y of the group. But of the very few things he does collect, he collects things that are useful, a lot like dex. he's hyper vigilant almost. He was Linh and his own sole caretaker (Linh took care of him too but Tams internalized this wayyy more than Linh did), and anything that can protect him and Linh is something he would collect. small knives, emergency med kits, fire proof clothing even. things like that. he's ready for the apocalypse. But maybe, far down the line, when he's starting to relax, he has a small book collection. I will die on my hill of Tam being a bookworm. he, Tiergan and Wylie can bond on their shared love of Pride 7 Prejudice. Or other equivalent elven books. Linh and Prentice are illiterate and proud (not that they're not smart, prentice is literally a keeper, they just hate reading). He also has a collection of Weird shirts Linh has made him. He doesn't throw them away. He'd rather die than wear them, but he'll look into his closet sometimes and quietly organize the shirts she made him and give a small smile.

Maruca: She seems like a bead girlie to me. Like her bead box, is gigantonourmous. She has made soooooooo many bracelets and necklaces and jewelry and honestly even beaded embroidery for her friends and herself and Wylie (Wylie is not her friend, he family, so it's diff). She still has vasttttt amount of beads left over. Literally once a month she goes on a bead hunt, bonus points if it's with someone else like Biana of Marella or something. On her reoccurring bead hunt, she will say she's only buying beads to make one(1) bracelet, and then proceeds to buy the entire store out. It's so funny. No one wants to go on her bead hunts anymore bc she makes them carry shit while she hunts for more beads. Honestly queen behavior. Literally all her clothing and jewelry and everything has beads on it. side point: she seems like she would be into making lace, and anyone who's ever watched ppl make lace, or make lace themselves, know that it's incredibly tedious. so hats off to her.

Marella: Marella does not think things through, if she likes, she takes. yes. I feel like she would have a collection specifically for like fire related things. Like fire earrings, fire decorated bandanas etc. OMFG wait. COWGIRL MARELLA. PLS SOMEONE DO THIS I WOULD DIE. anyways, after like the initial shame and fear she gets from manifesting as a pyrokinectic, I think she would feel angry. I mean I know. this is canon pretty sure. She's not ashamed anymore, and wants to prove this fact with buying fire related stuff. I also think she might be into collecting ribbon. Like for her hair. She ties little bits of ribbon in it and it makes her feel pretty. She starts doing it regularly bc her mom used to put ribbons in her hair before her accident. Nw she does by herself bc no one will do it for her. :)

(stellarlune spoilers): ik most ppl have read it by now but still

Rayni: She's again, a lot like Linh and Tam. She doesn't have a the capacity to collect things because of her living situation in the never seen. All she has is her cat statue. of course, she had a life before her parents tribunal and subsequent banishing, and from that time period, I feel like she would pull a Linh and collect stickers. Actually that could be bonding, like Her and Linh find each others sticker stashes, and start trading them like Pokemon cards. It's their bonding time. Linh can yell at Rayni and Rayni can yell at Linh art various sticker deals they're making, and at the end, they have cool new stickers and they're happy. Btw Rayni does have a very large cat sticker collection. She currently on the hunt to look for a cat sticker that looks like her cat statue. She'll find it someday. again side note: Rayni never actually uses the stickers. They're in a super secret bin underneath her bed or something.

Jensi: U guys thought I forgot him huh. Plant dad. Plant boy. Exotic plants. Native plants. Invasive plants. He has a nice little garden which is periodically harvests from. He's the gnomes favorite bc he loves plants. If anyone wants a little cottage core scene they go to his house. He has poisonous plants, and like maybe sometime in the war against the never seen sophies like looking for this super rare plant that has insane toxins in it and Jensi's like. Oh yeah I have like six of those in my backyard lol. and I also bred them to be even more potent. want some? Sophie is flabbergasted. She has new respect for the Venus fly-trap he gifted her. Fintans a plant dad? wrong. He's nothing compared to Jensi. Nothing.

Wylie: I'm going full angst with this one and saying he collects hairpins/clips. Like the ones his mother used to make. He obviously doesn't use them. maybe he gives some to Maruca and other friends/family with longer hair. (wait Wylie with long hair. hmmmmm. I like it). But mostly he just hides them away. And when he's trying to remember what his mothers smile looked like, (Bc he doesn't have photographic memory, and he was very young when she died, he's bound to forget) he opens up the hair pin box and cries. he gives one of the remaining pins he has to Tiergan bc he has long hair. And they cry together. Could also be sad times with him and Prentice too. They mourn together while looking at the hair pins.

[seroquelled]

11-8-23

- august invited over bo leach, bodhi nadalin, and some person that didnt have a name but looked like el hanley to play some orgy game, aug was acting kind of weird the whole time and ended up going to bed. the vibes were very off and nameless chick dipped but i talked to bo and bodhi for a while, was trying to figure out if they were together or not. ended up making out with bodhi (felt v nice) and afterward he said a bunch of stuff about how he was glad we saw each other again and that he lives close and wants to hang out again soon. we were still living w/ aj somehow and they had a bunch of random ppl over i remember thinking i was glad i could prove i had other friends by having different ppl over even if they werent really. they were leaving and the other ppl were partying in the living room area and someone ended up giving me a drink so i sat down and hung out a little. it was this really tasty thick deep red cherry-cranberry vodka thing with a ball of hollow ice that had a little hole you could drink more beverage out of it from.

- dk if this was a continuation of the last one or not but walking through the city w a group of girls, being sort of dressed up everyone had on very avant garde fashion (one of them was cheyenne from water st? i dont remember the rest) and we ended up going to this art gallery that was all hallways with various forks in the road. got separated from half the group because they were basically sprinting through and not looking at anything. everything felt like it was moving very fast. came to another fork but on one side was this exhibit area w raised padded flooring and people sitting all around and a sign that said 'puppy naptime.' and. well. it was puppy naptime. there were a bunch of them and phoibe and mama kitty (not bean) were there also sleeping very sweetly and i was worried i would get in trouble for bringing my cats to puppy naptime. i saw a different very small very sleepy black and white dappled kitten and pet her a little bit. was no longer worried bc obv i was not the only one who brought cat. noticed this girl who had a necklace with a bunch of moss and a live snail on it and talked to her abt it and she said it was her pet and he just liked to sleep there too.

- again not sure if at all related but walking through these very bright almost uncanny paved suburban streets w you and coming across a house where you started telling me a story abt how you used to hang out with some boy there and the mom was wack and you would work on some sort of project that required these sharps and one day you accidentally brought some out with you and they (the parents) noticed and yelled at you and you were like little and scared of getting in trouble so you like ran back crying and put them back and were apologizing and then couldnt go back and hang out again. watching this memory play out in the driveway like a phantom in front of us. in present time next to the car in the foliage there were a bunch of varied types of blades and you said something along the lines of 'they feel awesome, btw' and there was one in particular i really wanted to take but we noticed that the people from the house were actually sitting in the car. left and walked the other way around the block to see if theyd leave, just sort of eavesdropped on them from around the corner. along the way there were various blades on the ground and in the little grass strips in front of driveways and i kept picking them up trying to see if they were sharp or new but they all were really flimsy or dull or covered in a weird waxy substances. you said something like 'my skin is thinner so you should just cut me instead' and it made me upset but i wasnt trying to show it and i said some upsetting shit i dont remember and you were like 'jesus christ, what the fuck' and got v distant didnt leave but sort of like hung back and did smth else. heard some sort of commotion from the people and saw the guy yelling at this fluffy, scrawny cat being like 'i hate that fuckin cat' and it ran over to us and i pet him and he was v malnourished and had fleas and scrapes and i felt v sad for him

- Really dont remember this one but some girl inviting us to go rock climbing and it was just this tiny room that was not even very tall and she was actively putting the rock wall together by just. nailing the holds into drywall in no particular order. no gear, no ropes. i was pissed. i remember yelling at her but i dont remember what i said

[ugh-yoongi]

please tell us about your experience/feelings/thoughts when you have the time? i wanna live vicariously through you

sure! i'll put everything under a cut because i'm sure i'll ramble. thank you for asking!

i went to both belmont day 2 and newark so i'll split them up like that. happy to answer questions about anything i didn't get into here!

new york day 2:

had soundcheck for this day. i don't remember what time we got there but we never planned on queueing early or trying to get barricade so i think we got there around 2:30p? getting our wristbands and vip packages was super easy and organized. seemed to have missed out on all the drama (i guess there were some fights??) but saw a few people having full-on meltdowns. one girl was screaming and crying at staff but i'm not sure why -- i think it had something to do with the vip merch line. no idea. don't treat people like this regardless of the reason.

got inside the venue and hopped in the merch line. bought a picket and the hoodie. got in our grouped soundcheck sections. more people fighting about "cutting in lines." dumb if you ask me but whatever. again, don't yell at venue staff about this shit i worked in a venue and i promise they do not care, they will kick you out.

soundcheck was great! we hung back around the sound booth and had a great view and plenty of room to just exist in the air conditioning. yoongi is so tiny irl like that is just a little grandpa i love him so much. p sure soundcheck setlist is the same but he did people, people pt 2, and sdl.

the show was amazing!! i managed to avoid all setlist spoilers so imagine my shock when that was the show :') some parts were hard to see because the stage depressed at some points and you can't see it from further back on the floor. i think the only song i would've wanted to see that he didn't do is what do you think but overall 10/10.

newark:

we had a suite for this show but saw on twitter that it was a shitshow for vip people. lots of people got kicked out for alcohol/straight up starting fist fights. got in the vip line when doors opened at 6:30 and got talking to a woman who worked at the venue and she said ppl were screaming at her and crying when they were sold out of the merch they wanted. entitled scumbag behavior i am begging y'all to act better. embarrassing and anyone who did this should be ashamed of themselves but i know they won't be.

lines were super long and even slower so the show got delayed by about 25 mins. didn't get into our suite until just after 8. met some really lovely tumblr people!! grabbed a bite to eat and got to our seats.

show was the same setlist-wise but i think he definitely had more energy (you could tell he was still not feeling great in new york) and the crowd felt more into it, too. apparently jimin's suite wasn't very far from ours and it would've been super cool to see them do tony montana but oh well. loved seeing everything i missed from being on the floor.

general thoughts:

really, really glad i went. super proud of yoongi for doing this and i think he's just the coolest person ever. he's an incredible performer and the shows were amazing. loved his lil emotional support water bottle he kept a grip on in new york <3 also thank you yoongi for the ddaeng crumb <3

if you're going to any of the future dates i promise you will have an incredible time. stress might be a lil high but pls be nice to venue/event staff and the people around you. no sense in paying all this money to be miserable and mean and make yourself have a bad time.

[wattpadscapcons]

Thinking about completely restarting my account or just permanently moving to my alt and just doing the requests there. I literally almost have the same amount of posts as I do followers and it's overwhelming.

I could restart so easilyyyyyy! It's so tempting. And don't get me wrong when I say "restart" I don't mean deleting this account. Not that I hadn't thought about that before either with the way some people behave online.

Though I know either way that I'll have to update my DNI and make it clearer bc I've like... been triggered quite a few times this week alone? If you're going to follow me and still disrespect me that's fine, but triggering me? Ohhhh nooo, no, no, no, no, no, I won't put up with that shit.

=

Plus ppl have been like lowkey kinda just bothering me w/ the way they act??? Like I get when you make content other people like and become popular for that you can fall victim to parasocial relationships or idolization but I find that so dumb. Like, I'm a person, not some celebrity? Hello?? So to everyone who's been "afraid to talk to me" or suddenly pop up in my dms with no prompt (and have interacted with me less than 3 times in any setting) + have no interest in talking to me past the point of like sending those spam chainmail things that are all like "send this to [#] of people who made you happy this month" can you like....stop?

It's honestly really discouraging to think that someone from the fandom is messaging me just to give me some spam.

=

It'd be different if someone came into my dms and was all like: "Hey I really like your work/I find your work to be inspiring/It makes me really happy whenever you post about [character] bc I love them sm and the way you write them is comforting/whatever etc!" That actually starts a conversation, gives me feedback on my work, and overall creates more mutuals for me to just interact with.

Tagging me in those like "create your character" threads bugs me too bc I've already told people NOT to tag me in those and I guess some people missed that memo? I mean I know a lot of you interact that way for like fun, but I'm just not into that. You can talk to me in the comments or you can yell at me in the dms. Reblogging is for starting fights and sharing other people's art/writings/edits/articles/videos.

And don't come in here being all like "well I like your stuff all the time isn't that enough??" like that only tells me you bookmarked my work. That doesn't tell me that you actually enjoyed the piece & aren't just looking to make fun of me on some secret discord group chat or something. How do I know you even read what I wrote if you're in here just liking several of my posts and then never interact with my blog again?

=

And god forbid someone not want to interact with me bc of my age, WHY ARE YOU EVEN FOLLOWING ME THEN??? I get it, I must be a dinosaur to some of you. Respect your own DNI! Or even better yet, they don't agree with the people I'm friends with, like I have any affect one what they do with their time.

Give me back my anons that would just send in asks just to say hello or check up on me. This isn't fun anymore. I feel like every time I've talked about this stuff before it's gone totally under the radar.

'People don't care about what you think outside of your fandom writings blah blah blah.' I have the right to be sensitive here. I have the right to feel how I do. If you guys don't give a damn about me, my opinions, and my feelings then just unfollow me right now bc I honestly don't need that in my life.

[theuniverseawakens347]

Howard ya place ya own drug fears on me … no fair mixing drugs that CAN OD not weed : then Lee did it to me w lsd .. rat poison and cosmo …

Howard and Chris devours photo… ya overdose on weed*

NOT POSSIBLE… CHRIS PUT COKE IN THE BLUNT … Chris is scotty tattoo… you read it listen to my videos bc you do a “oh no…” then shut up and think and it makes sense but you don’t want to tell Lee you agree … figured out she’s Satan.. now ur silently asking how to get out of this and what it means for you?? You’ve chosen death going this long w Lee… that’s what she wanted for you… not what you wanted for yourself. … like ddg and Halle UR TELEPATHIC CONFUSING HER THOUGHTS THAT ARE BEGATIVE AS UR OWN … blue fase jaidyn and chrisean Noah decorsi …

UR MAD AT GOD FOR UR FINGERS… ITS LEES FAULT … RAYMOND HAD FINGERS CUT OFF AS A TERRORIST ACT IN A WAR … then Lee made it a genetic thing in your family … Lee had magic at one point down here to reset time as she pleased … I TOOK THAT MAGIC AND POWER BACK … so she started trapping me down here muscle relaxer or killing me w her to “reset” .. she always starts at 10 … Howard you can’t wrap your head around the show Russian doll the message in it … the how’d we get here ya get stuck … well you gon have to die to get those questions bc YOU WILLINGLY HANDED SHIT OFF TO MICHAEL TO BUTAIN MY FUCKING BRAIN… Satan spirit is in Howard now bc you stuck around too long … so lees playing “woe is me still” but giving up on fighting me WHILE YOURE FEELING ALL POWERFUL BC THE TABLES TURNED AND YOU HAVE HER IN A PIN HOLE… U DO NOT DESERVE POWER IF YOURE GOING TO MANIPULATE IT … U USE ME TO FIGHT ONE ANOTHER “THATS what I want yell at him for me “ … YA FUCKING WEIRD … THIS WHY WE BOT DOING THIS SHIT NO MORE. BC THE LESSON IS FOR YOU TWO LEARN … HAND OVER CONTROL AA GROUP THATS FAILED SOBRIETY MISERABLY THE COMMUNITY ASHAMED OF YOU BOTH … THE OLD TIME HEADS … BC LIKE WTF ARE YOU DOING USING YOUR DAUGHTER AS A PUNCHING BAG WEIRD WAY TO SAY YOU KNOW I AM WHAT I AM BUT DONT WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW YOUR SATAN… Lee ya soul blames Howard …. The spirit has left and cleasing elsewhere in ya Russia doll suits … BUT YOUR SOLE TRUE CORE OF YOU BLAMES PPL… YA NEED TO LEARN ACCOUNTABILITY… you were a Jamaican African who feels they wrongfully died so you hate color ppl and made ur own to own .. DAVIS LOCKER PIRATES IF CARRIBEAN … ANYWAYS IM OVER YOU TWO FOR GOOD ..

[txxfiles]

hello?

I don't know what to write about this month! so I’m just going to stream of consciousness and see where we go. 

I was going to write about my holiday but I started a travel journal and did like 2 days and then was so exhausted every night that I didn’t do it! It was an amazing holiday tho, like once in a lifetime sorta shit. it was a bit hit and miss if we would even go but we did and it was wonderful and I appreciated having so much time with my brother as I miss him. It was so full on tho like it was a group tour thing and it was like go go go and we walked 20 thousand steps one day bc my brother and I were like ‘Yeah sure we’ll climb that mountain with u no stress’ and then basically got lapped by the American women over 60 who came with us lmao. I was so careful as well with putting on suncream and shit and I STILL got burnt!!! the curse of being so fair burdens me every day. I am mostly nicely tanned and the redness has gone down so we chill but it’s so funny bc everyone else in my family is so nicely tanned and then there's a tomato girl walking around with them. my freckles have come back tho so that's nice. 

it gave me a lot of time with my thoughts tho, which I hate. Also being forced to spend that much time with my parents is always interesting. the other people in our group were telling them how good of a job they did raising myself and my brother which always makes me feel weird. I don’t think the good parts of my personality have come from my parents, I often value all the bad things about it to them which may seem harsh but my instinctual politeness and willingness to help wasnt fostered by them teaching it to me, it came from fear of getting yelled at if i wasn't this way and getting in trouble for doing anything other than cutting myself in half to do what was asked of me. I hate the person I become when I spend so much time with them as well like I become so angry and snappy and my tolerance for shit just plummets and I come home and it’s like a wave of relief because I feel so much calmer instantly. And then the next minute I feel awful for not seeing them very often and like guilty for having my own life and actually enjoying not seeing them very often. My mother makes a point of talking about not seeing me and missing me and I struggle to wrap my head around the idea of them missing me because when I see them they don’t talk to me! they don’t ask me shit they just take it in turns complaining about the other to me and I’m sat in the middle with my head in my hands wanting to die! I told them both at separate points that I wasn't getting involved and then got the silent treatment and I was just soooooo doneeeeeeee. I’m so grateful I could go on the trip and the highlights totally outweigh the bad bits but it’s hard to remember the good parts when the last 4 days were spent in a state of tension and arguments that I couldn't walk away from because there was nowhere to go! it’s like a constant battle of being grateful and then being annoyed over and over again and I don’t know how to deal with it so I just don’t! 

Going away with your family at my age is weird as well. my brother and I look very young so everyone else in the group very much assumed we were younger than we are which was funny and I guess a blessing. no shame in it but one of the other ppl in our group wasn't much older than me and she’s married with a house and a stable job and I just sat there like ahahahahahaaaaaaaaa. I know it’s bad to compare yourself to others and I’ve gotten better at not doing it but in situations like that, it’s hard. I said last time how I feel like I’m behind everyone and that's still stuck. I’m not doing bad per se but I’m not really making any money and I’m no closer to starting the career I want and that’s not for lack of trying like I keeeeeep applying for jobs and getting turned down on no response at all and it hurts. I worked so hard for my degree and some days it feels like it was for nothing. I know something will come up soon but the waiting is slowly killing me. 

I didn’t smoke the entire holiday either as I couldn’t because my parents don’t need another reason to be disappointed in me and now I’m back in the UK I can’t afford to buy any cigs but GOD DO I WANT SOME PLEASE. I know it’s bad for u and shit but I just want a little treat. I didn’t miss it when I was away and because I literally couldn't get any it didn’t even really cross my mind bc I was so busy but now I’m back and the corner shop is 5 minutes away i’m like uwu yes pls gimme the lil death stick. I think that's one of my biggest issues, if something is within my reach I literally cannot deny myself it. goes for food, people, drinks whatever, if I can get it I’ll have it even if it’s not a sensible thing to do within the budget I have. I think it stems from my childhood but I’m not getting into that right now. 

In other news, I’m actually having a birthday party for the first time since I was a kid!!! wooo!!! hopefully, I won’t cry this birthday other than from happiness!!!! everyone I’ve asked is well keen as well so I was like yay amazing! and then one of my mates whom my relationship with is so complicated I wouldn’t even know where to start was like ‘Yeah sure I’ll come’ and I was like fab ok and then the NEXT TIME he messaged me he was like ‘oh it’s the FOOTBALL FINAL SO I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN COME’?????????????? HELLO???????????? I’m honestly fuming. I get it, your team might not get to the final again fine whatever but the matches are like in the afternoon so u could still come after???? oh my apologies for thinking I, your friend or whatever whom you have been through an insane amount of shit with, might be A BIT MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FUCKING FOOTBALL???? I hate men oh my god I’m actually mad and maybe that's selfish but what the fuck. I’m currently leaving him on delivered because I’m not about to start shit between us for the millionth time but considering the conversation we had about new years and how he had fomo you would think he’d wanna come but no. If he does end up changing his mind I’m so tempted to be like ‘nah don’t bother’ but that goes against every single particle of my being so WE’LL SEE. if he tries anything imma whack him (probably) but regardless, it should be fun and it’ll be nice to see all my friends in one place and shit. I’m very nervous about it bc I’m convinced no one will come but everyone I’ve asked has been enthusiastic so hopefully, it goes well. hopefully. I don’t want another birthday where I end up feeling upset or like a burden or whatever. thinking about it reminded me of one birthday I had where my so-called friend made out with the guy I liked when we were in the cinema knowing full well I liked him. good vibes!!! 

anyway, that’s me! once again not particularly positive but I’ve realised I use this as a way to get things off my chest I’m not sure how to properly talk about in person. which I think is kinda the point of this anyway. but regardless, I’m tanned and travelled and back to the grind like the alpha male I am. 

peace out homies

eucalyptus ᡣ • . • 𐭩 ♡