#im just tired and annoyed but it hurts to think ill never see her live at this rate

[kvrdelen]

went onto the live nation presale for shits and gigs and i was number 90k in the queue. im not silly enough to think id ever get renaissance tour tickets but what the fuck

[skoulsons]

you know what time it is. my scrambled thoughts. took me an hour and a half to finish the ep 🥴

-

TLOU EP2

people have said this ep is really good and intense so I’m excited

HERE WE GO

where are we

OH JAKARTA

we going back to two days before it broke out it looks like cause the 24th

Oooh police? What did she do

I think every ep is gonna start with a flashback so that’s cool

or is she like a doctor or something and knows something about the fungus?

she looks distressed?

Ibu ratna okay. Prof of mycology so they need her to inspect the cordyceps or something

I remember seeing a pic of her floating around

my episode froze why

Ophiocordyceps

A HUMAN?

cant survive in humans suree

oh dear is this person gonna be a clicker already or something

oh no okay it’s just her corpse

EUGH I hate surgery stuff and cutting like that

is she gonna wake up I fear

This is so gross please

OH MY FORHDKF that’s horrifying

bro I feel sick wth

FLOUR AND GRAIN FACTORY people were right

so she bit three people and they were all taken into observation

oh fourteen that’s a lot

listening carefully

“There is no vaccine” you’re damn right thank you joel

BOMB alright cool

it’s gonna be hiroshima all over again

was that too much im sorry

no she wants to be with her family before they all die :(

INTROOOOOO

oh the music. gustavo I love you

I cant skip this intro it’s too good man

and the little Joel and Ellie <3

alright back to reality

look at her sleeping. she’s so tiny

they really put butterflies everywhere in this show

her bed hair 😭

did they just shove her in a room or something and tell her to go to sleep

OH THEYRE STARING AT HER AOFHSKDHJER

I feel like I just experienced whiplash

oh cause she’s infected

sir that’s the second time you’ve aimed a gun at her in the last two days

im only 11 minutes in at this rate I’ll never get through this episode

“Don’t worry about that” “well I’m gonna” 😭

“there’s not gonna be anything bad in here” “just you” “oh funny” STOPPP I cant wait to get moments like these where they’re smiling

Joel :((

holy crap. “You need to stop talking about this kid like she’s got some kind of life in front of her”

“Guess not you guys” 😭

joel being scared of Tess going over to Ellie bc he doesn’t want her to get hurt :( the end of this ep is gonna suck real bad

“You must’ve heard that he wants to shoot you” :(

THE FACE PALM

“She told me not to tell anybody and now I’m telling the first people that i-“ this is so Ellie. it’s about the vaccine isn’t it

YUP

Joel knowing exactly what she was saying 😭

FUCK YOU MAN I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS THATS FROM THE GAMEEEE

Tess having to be their mediator

I GET IT!? damn no

her making the clicks 😭

I can’t believe I get to see my little comfort character in live action whisper an “okay” and throw his hands outwards. I love you joel miller

ILL JUST THROW A SANDWICH AT THEM

the chirping birds :)

I hope there’s a little instinctive moment where Joel protects her this ep. IM YEARNING FOR IT (I got it :D)

man those buildings look gnarly

I love how Joel just keeps walking while Tess indulges her questions. he’s so annoyed 😭

they’re such a little family 🫶🏻

oh I’m dumb I had captions this whole time and never put them on

GUSTAVOOOO

NO YOURE JOKING THE LITTLE GIRAFFE TOY. REALLY. REALLY NEIL.

Joel’s just causally eavesdropping cause he won’t talk to her directly but is also still curious

TESS IS SUCH A MOM

Riley :/

you got some balls on you sister 💀

I know I said this last week but Joel really has the “too tired for this shit” plastered on his face all the time and it’s delightful

the scenery is phenomenal

ooh mention of spores

they’ve really got the whole “Ellie bombarding them with questions and inquiring about every little thing” down

OOH CLICKER CLICK. that was loud too

AW LITTLE DUCKS LOOK AT THEM

and a frog too 😭

OH YEHA SHE CANT SWIM

“Have you heard of books?” 💀 he’s SO done with her

NO SMART ASS. his little jump to show her it’s not deep 😭

HIM REACHING HIS HAND TO HELP HER UP <33333333

HE PULLED AWAY SO AGGRESSIVELY

this whole set is so good

YOU TRY CLIMBING TEN FLOORS WITH OUR KNEES. they’re so old this is so cute

ARE WE GONNA GET HIM BOOSTING YHEM UP YES

he won’t even grab her shoulder to shove her aside. mans grabbed a fist full of her hoodie and backpack 😭

“I’m gonna need a few minutes” boy I hope this joelellie convo goes well

ELLIE STOP FLIPPING THE KNIFE

“The circus” he’s so tired

AWW HONESTY ABOUT WHERE HES FROM <3

he’s downplaying her knowledge so much I love this

NOT HER ASKING ABOUT THEM

“PASS”

“no more questions about me” :(

this direction is beautiful. neil I take back anything bad I’ve said about you

OH I THOUGJT YOU WENT TO SCHOOL. he’s so snippy

was that a hint of him smiling. was it. or is my brainrot convincing me of things. WAS IT. she said it’s a really shitty one and it cuts to him I SWEAR THE LOOK ON HIS FACE AND HIS EYES I SWEAR

“sometimes” :( he looks like he’s thinking abt sarah

their height difference bro I can’t wait til they hug

NO WAS SHE BIT BACK THERE?? or no

im trying to cut these into small sections so… next section I guess?

wow. that’s a lot of bodies

all the infected noises wow

wow that’s incredibly scary

ooh the fungus being like a hive mind sort of thing? Interesting

MUSEUMMM

ooh he was testing it

“did Marlene pack you one of these or just sandwiches?” 😭

“I HAVE A SPARE HAND” “CONGRATULATIONS” they’re so funny. if y’all could see the grin on my face

this is so spooky

that guy is messed up

JOELS FACE SHUSHING HER

“from this point forward, we are silent” yes sir whatever you say sir <3

this building is really falling apart

Joel turning back to look a them :’)

these first two eps have a lot of trailer shots which is good

the bodies look so gnarly

why did Joel look so soft opening that door. he just looks so 🤏🏻

oh look, a rare untouched room. not for long

CLICKER TIME RIGHT?

him helping Ellie up :’’’)

wow that’s a gorgeous shot of their lights lighting up the dust from the debris

oh my gosh dude

DUDE THE CLICKER ISBSO GOOD

joel has a tear in his eye telling her to be quiet. I might just 🕳👩‍🦯

ITS SO FREAKY

NOT A SECONF ONE?

it’s right there EUGH

they look so good dude

he sees Ellie he’s going over to get her

his backpack almost hit her in the face 😭

ITS SO CLOSE TO HIS FACE

CLOSE YOUR MOUTH JOEL

this is a serious scene but I can’t help but look at Ellie holding the flashlight on the clicker while joel fires and immediately being reminded of all the times my dad has had to fix something and I have to hold the flashlight over his shoulder while he yells at me to hold it better

HIM GRABBING HER TO PUSH HER BEHIND HIM

oh she was bit a second time I THOUGHT SHE WAS

“If it was gonna happen to ONE of us” mmmm not quite true

ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE ROOF SCENE

“For once, maybe we could actually win” :/she’s acting like this bc she’s bit and she doesn’t get to win

WORD FOR WORD? WORD FOR WORD!

he looks sm softer looking at her :(

THE WATCH GLANCE

that ladder is so unstable

last ten mins

man she’s in such a rush to get there :/ Joel’s suspicious

EUGH was that crushing his head? sheesh

that bloods looking pretty fresh

oh here we go

oh that’s disgusting okay

Here we goooo

“That’s not my home” why does it look like that broke Joel.

OUR LUCK HAD TO RUN OUT SOONER OR LATER

SHE INFECTED

NO JOEL LOOKS SO

NOT THE BACK AWAY??

on her neck still wow.

OOPS RIGHT

she’s shaking already :(

YOU GET HER THERE YOU KEEP HER ALIVE AND YOUBSET EGRRYTHING RIGHT. ALL THE SHIT WE DID

HES CRYINGGGGG DONT LOOK AT ME HIS EYES ARE RED

we the tendrils are OH OH OH THEYRE WAKING UP OH THE WHOLE CROWD IS WAKING UP

joel baby you gotta go

NOT JOELS BREATH HITCHING

SAVE WHO YOU CAN SAVE *immediately grabs Ellie*

Tess :(

LH THRYRE SO GROSS

I hate that

joel :((

Tess went out like a hero tho what a champ

12/10 episode!! So freaking good

[kiaanmikey]

coming to terms with the fact i will forever be lonely is so fucking hard.

ive always been lonely: only child, neglectful mother and emotionally distant father, living in the countryside where there were nokids to play with and the ones at school all thought i was weird and annoying and wanted nothing to do with me. by the time highschool hit they had adapted to me and didnt mind my weirdness as much, but by then i was so traumatized between them, my mother and my ex i didnt even know if i was real anymore. i wasnt allowed to be who i was so who tf was i supposed to be for them to like me? it didnt matter, i wasnt enough. too clingy, too loud, too feminine, too obnoxious. it never mattered what i did. ive always been lonely.

trying to explain to people now that i will forever be lonely is fucking impossible. “youre young, youll find your people!” i dont have the skills, motivations, or resources to “find my people.” i know damn well if i do manage to find my people itll be the stupidest nichest fucking group yoive ever seen and my luck none of them will get along other than with me (cause that what seems to always happen). the friends i had during highschool either a)were only friends cause i had a car or b)just straight dont talk to me anymore. i work nights so hanging out with people just doesnt happen, and the two friends that i do have dont text me ever. i hang out with the one every thursday simply cause its part of our routine now, and the other one i never fucking see cause shes either at school or work or raising her siblings. i get people have lives but apparently i fucking dont so yeah, im hurt. im tired of being the one left tf out.

i will also never have a partner. coming to terms with the fact that you are so mentally fucked up that having that companionship, that love, that acceptance, that basic desire is just NOT in the cards for you. sure autism isn’t immediately a no-go when it comes to relationships, but it causes enough issues for me that i will not have another person deal with that. anger issues that i dont think would get violent ~towards them~ but i dont trust myself and i know my anger will get displaced the second they tried to help me. im so emotionally detached from myself and my life that i dont know how to form those connections anymore. i dont know how to grieve, how to connect, how to do anything regarding the emotions of another person. its so hard hearing everyone tell you “you just gotta reach out! find some people with common hobbies!” like i have no hobbies or interests that anyone around here wants anything to do with, and that is n o t all thats involved with making friends. honestly friendships are way more complicated than relationships have or ever will be and i am terrified ill never make a friend again. knowing myself i probably wont.

i have always been lonely, and i will always be lonely. and knowing that but being so mentally ill you can do anything about it? absolutely sucks ass

[xoxambeezy]

12.30.22

Today, I woke up, and here is what happened: I woke up and went to the bathroom. I then said Good Morning to my doggos and kissed King.  I walked Prince first, and I wanted to take him to the p-a-r-k, but i was nervous bc its friday morning and he likes to bark and has had issues at the park numerous times. but he literally dragged me so we went and he was fine, he just didnt poop.

Then I walked queen and she did poop. shes been doing good on our walks lately. she likes to play too. i put on a new/old collar bc hers is breaking. she did fine.

when i walked prince, the water came so after i got them all in, i dragged the bottles in and put one in the dispenser. 

I started getting ready to go to the store bc here i am such a procrastinator and didnt get an outfit for nye, since apparently we have functions to go to. told triston i was getting ready, and asked if he wanted to go. he said yeah give me a sec, so i did. 

oh actually, after the water, i did his laundry for work.

anyways, he took a min and i got ready and asked did he still want to go. he got up and got ready, but i could see he was tired and annoyed so i told him he didnt have to go, but he went anyways, with a whole ass attitude. mind you, i ask to be nice just in case he wants to go. i never want him to feel like i didnt want him with me when i went to do things, and hes been saying he will go, but i guess this moment was different. but he still went. we literally just pulled off and hes huffing and puffing. i asked him whats wrong and did he need to do any shopping and he said no, i told you this last night and yesterday (no he didnt, he said he was gonna go) and i told him to stay his ass home then and he said no hes already in the car and i told him to turn around bc we were right there and he didnt. during the time at the store, he just stood on his phone and when i went to try clothes on he went to the car. i called him and this is how i found out he was in the car. told him he didnt even bother to tell me and he said i was in the dressing room and i said so you cant use your phone to call and hung up. 

let me fucking tell you, i literally hate when he goes out and doesnt even bother to 1. tell me so im worried all through the night, and 2. doesnt invite me. i literally wfh so im home 24/7. i would love to go out, even though i hate when im actually out. its the little fucking things. i mean, i dont have to get invited all the time, but #1 is definitely something i feel he should do no matter what. have me not tell him im even showering and its a big issue and a fight. 

but i digress. anyways, were home now and i didnt get anything. didnt even want to go to another store bc hes vibe was just not it. so i go home and try some things i have already and he was very not into it. like i felt so ugly and ill take that to my grave. finally picked one outfit(might not even wear it) and that was it. 

i knew he was tired, right, so i asked him why not come into the room- he was on the couch, and he said he didnt want to lay down, but was laying down on the couch. 

so i left it alone. he got ready for work and didnt even say bye to us. i literally yelled bye and have a great day and got nothing. oh he brought clothes, so he will be going out after work tonight. 

after he left, i literally was go annoyed and hurt and sad and aggrivated that i took my inhaler bc i was having an asthma attack. then i started cleaning. the room, living room, kitchen, and bathroom. now im working ot and doing laundry. 

a few things i missed though throughout my day. i was reminded i tried to commit suicide almost 6 years ago, and that i miss my grandma more than anything in this entire existence. 

i think thats all. 

[gale-gentlepenguin]

GUYS! IT LEAKED!

THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF ML GOT LEAKED! AND THEY ARE IN ENGLISH!

I don't know how long they will be active but I got the links to them while they are still up.

Truth

Lie

After you guys watch let me know your thoughts. And check out my review and live reaction of the episodes underneath the read more. Spoilers below

(This is an April fools joke)

Gale Reviews: Miraculous Ladybug, Season 4, Episode 1: TRUTH

(With Live reaction)

-So Marinette is trying to find a place to store the ladybug miracle box. Its funny for a bit.

-Tikki suggests hiding it under her bed. Which Marinette does for the time being. But find its way to hard to access normally.

-"Ill figure something out" Marinette explains.

-The Kwami are swarming around the room, exploring. Barkk found the TV.

-Marinette's phone rings, And its Luka. With a heart at the end of the contact. (Resisting urge to gag)

-Luka calls to ask if she remembers that they have a date planned for today. Going to see Jagged's new movie.

-The kwami are f***ing creeping on the conversation. Marinette says she remembers and that she won't miss this one. Like she did the other nine times. I cracked up at that part.

-Luka tells her that he made sure she wouldn't forget. Since he showed up to her place.

-Marinette quickly tells Luka that she has to go. Then yells at the kwami to get in the box.

-Sass asks if the boy she was talking to was Luka.

-"Yes. Now in the box."

-Sass ships Lukanette.

-Hilariously Barkk does not. I love Barkk.

-So Luka is in Marinette's house with her parents as marinette rushed downstairs.

-Its a really awkward scene since Marinette never told her parents she was dating Luka.

-Protective Tom activated.

-Luka assures them that they haven't been on their first official date yet.

-That eases the parents.

-Marinette tells her mom and dad a bit about Luka before her phone goes off, letting her know the movie is gonna start soon.

-The two leave in a hurry.

-"I prefer the one she confessed to last time."

-"TOM!"

-Tom ships Marichat

_____________________________________________________________

-Adrien tries calling Kagami to see if she wants to see the Jagged stone movie, but she says she is busy with archery.

-So Adrien tries calling Nino, who is with Alya.

-So Adrien thinks about it and remembers Marinette loves Jagged Stone. She would probably love to see that movie.

-"I will call Mari... wait."

-Adrien has an imaginary scenario.

-He asks Marinette to the movies, Luka is mad and Kagami is mad.

-"Maybe that wouldn't be a good idea..." Adrien said kind of bummed.

-Plagg asks why it isn't a good idea. Isn't he friends with marinette?

-Adrien explaining why asking another guy's girlfriend to the movies is wrong.

-"You sound more bummed that you can't go with marinette then your own girlfriend." Plagg is SPITTING TRUTH!

-Adrien dismisses that notion, and decides he will try a few other people.

___________________________________________________________

-Wow Nathalie looks awful. She tries to get out of bed with a cane and falls down.

-Gabriel there to help her up. I wish the show would stop shoving the adultery subplot down our throats.

-Gabriel explains that he finally figured out how to use both miraculous at the same time. Which means Nathalie can focus on resting.

-Nathalie insists she can help. But Gabriel tells her that she has done more than needed. She deserves a break. He can't thank her enough for everything.

-Nathalie looks like she wants to confess.

-"You are truly an irreplaceable friend and confidant."

-MOTHERFUCKING GABRIEL 'just a friend' AGRESTE! ITS GENETIC

-Nathalie says of course, and says she is tired.

-I feel bad for Nathalie.

_____________________________________________________________

-Okay so Lukanette date.

-Marinette springs the gift on him.

-Its a necklace made with the guitar pick he first gave her in Captain Hardrock I think.

-Luka loves it.

-Okay the scene that was leaked in the trailer. Big moment, WILL THEY KISS?

-and its really close and... AKUMA ALERT! Right off the bat. So close.

-Marinette gives an excuse about her dad calling. She will be right back before the movie starts.

-Luka says its okay. And says when she gets back to grab some popcorn

-Marinette gives him a peck on the cheek and rushes off.

-Well you get a cheek kiss. But DAMN they really made me think they would actually do it. I got nervous.

-Ladybug arrives on the scene and its... mr.Pigeon again.

-Ladybug is really annoyed, until she sees the Giant PIGEON SENTIMONSTER!

- Chat noir arrives and comments that this might be more difficult then they thought.

-Ladybug says that they will handle it in a flash.

__________________________________________________________

-Luka watched the whole movie alone. The Usher told him to leave the seat.

-Just OUCH, I legit feel bad for Luka. My dude. I am so sorry

-Luka looking for Marinette at the theater but she is gone.

-DOUBLE OUCH

-He tries calling... and straight to voice mail. and 3 strikes!

-Luka starts walking out very disgruntled

-He gets to that bridge in the promo (its sunset) and Marinette arrives running to him. Telling him to wait.

-He turns around.

-She starts apologizing. Some excuse that its a bakery emergency

-"Your not being honest."

-Marinette tries to recover, but Luka says he wants to know what she has been hiding.

-"I am not hiding anything."

-"Marinette, please stop lying to me. Just tell me whats going on. I will understand. Just tell me."

-Marinette says softly she can't.

-"What?"

-"I said I can't tell you. Im sorry"

-She runs off.

-Luka looks hurt, and then angry. Looking at the necklace.

-"Why can't you trust me... What is so big you can't trust me?" He looks so angry. And frankly, I don't blame him.

-And cue Shadow moth, who is now revealing his transformation as shadowmoth. And I still think its ugly.

-Hawkmoth comments the spiel about being a disgruntled boyfriend who is felt put out by his girlfriend.

-Sends the akuma and Amok.

-Luka gets akumatized.

-Okay, now THIS is a good akumatization. I am not spoiling it but Shadowmoth and Luka's dialogue is TOPS here.

-He runs into Alya and the girls and tests out his powers on them. Alya thinks Nino looks better without glasses. Rose admits she only loves some of her stuffed animals and the guilt is killing her. Juleka admits that Luka dating one of her friends is creepy. THANK YOU JULEKA FOR SAYING IT.

_____________________________________________________________

-Adrien is bummed that he didn't get to see the movie. and as he was walking Bumps into marinette. Who ran into him

-Okay so this scene, TOP TEIR ADRINETTE.

-Adrien comforting Marinette, saying that Luka would understand.

-"Is it wrong to keep secrets from him?"

-"Sometimes we keep secrets because it will keep them safe. There is a right time to tell them, but it isn't always when we want to tell them."

-Marinette thanks Adrien for the advice and... OH KWAMI! TRUTH IS RIGHT THERE WATCHING!

-He knocked Adrien into the water.

-Truth and the Sentimonster are tailing Marinette.

-Adrien got a chance to transform.

-Marinette swerved to get to her house. Getting the giant eye sentimonster to bump into something.

-Marinette gets to her room, where truth tries asking her what she is hiding!

-AND CHAT NOIR JUMPS IN WITH A HIGH KICK.

-They fight and Marinette tries to make sure the miracle box is hidden.

-Chat noir asking if Truth had a bad date or something. VERY POOR CHOICE OF WORDS!

-Chat noir knocks Truth out of the bedroom. He tells Marinette to go hide. He and Ladybug will get her boyfriend back to normal.

-Marinette thanks chat noir and runs out of view.

-Shadowmoth tells Truth to get Chat noir's secret, it will help him deal with the pest so he can achieve his goal. Truth agrees.

-Ladybug arrives and wam bam.

-Ladybug tells chat noir NOT to get caught in the gaze of that

-If you are still reading this at this point I gotta say I admire your dedication, but this is an elaborate prank.

April fools!

[umaruwastaken]

I wont leave you, I'm sorry. [short fluff & angst]

: hi, I'm Umaru! im very new to Tumblr and still don't know my way around the app, im pretty sure im missing something with the editing so if you have tips please do tell me :], enjoy!

Synopsis; Clay had announced his relationship with his partner,it was well until you received severe hate, clay was keeping in the anger and accidentally let it out on you.

!!TW!!:Shouting, cursing, panic attack.

↱💚Dream💚↰

→ You tucked your hair out of your face, staring intently in the ceiling... this week isn't the best week for you and your boyfriend.

everything started when he had told his fans about you and you guys' relationship, some were happy and supportive while others didn't take it too well, they were raging... you had received hate and death threats, you tried to remain calm and ignore it convincing yourself that they will forget about it in the next few weeks, but to your dismay, things have been worse, not just with clay's fans but with you two as well.

In the first weeks of getting severe hate, he was there and ready to shower you with comfort and affection, but he suddenly got too busy which makes you feel lonely, but of course you didn't wanna intrude with his career so you let him be, constantly trying to keep the relationship going through a lot of fights have occurred, it started getting worse where you won't even talk to each other without arguing... it was frustrating, but now you had decided that you wanna talk things out with him and fix the mess you both had created.

You're currently waiting in your room, clay's still streaming and have been extremely loud, you missed your chill days with him where you'd just cuddle and whisper soothing words to each other's ear but you haven't talked for the past days and if you do it'll just end up to an argument, You stood up from your bed figuring that he would end stream soon, so you decided to wait in the living room.

_------_------_

After a solid two hours, you had grown impatient, he hadn't left his room though you well know that he had ended his stream since you were watching it...

you sighed finally having the courage to scurry to his room with slight disappointment written on your face...

you had started making dinner and finished.

you knocked three times, waiting expectantly for an answer and receiving none... you knocked again and voiced out this time.

"Clay, dinner's ready," you mutter having hopes that he will answer this time.

sighing once again, you opened the door to see him faced in front of his setup, talking to his friends... he looked over your way with no expression.

"what?" he asked, coming out a little bit too rude for your liking despite waiting for him for 2 hours straight, you decided to be kind and not match his temper for today.

"dinner's ready" you softly mumbled at him.

he turned back to his computer "you go eat, ill come down later." he said before unmuting his mic to talk with sapnap and George once more.

"But, it's been hours and you haven't turned that pc off, you need to eat." he clearly heard your complaint but still chose to ignore you.

"Are you seriously going to ignore me, clay? come on, just this time eat with me," you whined.

"[name], just go... I said ill go down later, eat first." that was his response to your whine, your frown grew deeper as your patience starting to wear off.

"clay! just turn that off and eat."

"I said ill be eating later, go now," he said with a slight hint of annoyance, you can tell that he was running out of patience too... you were too exhausted and just wanted the hugs your boyfriend used to give you, but that computer was your rival, A COMPUTER.

"No, clay, your eyes need to re-"

"can you just shut the f*ck up and go eat for God's sake??! how many times do I have to tell you??! [name] stop being a brat and leave me the f*ck alone!!!"

At this point, you were holding back tears, you were very sensitive with yelling, you had heard something from his pc.

"what the fuck dream?" you heard a familiar voice, which was George.

you sniffled and tried to hold back tears as you wiped those who escaped. "ok... ill go, I'm sorry" you said quietly, taking your leave from his room, as soon as he was out of sight, you sprinted to your room and cried... you tried holding your mouth hoping for the sobs to not be as loud... the voices in your head started speaking.

'he hates you now'

'he'll leave like everyone'

'you were too annoying and clingy'

'he doesn't love you anymore'

'he's tired of you, brat'

she tried stopping them by pulling her hair, starting to have a panic attack.

_________

On the other hand, dream stood in his room functioning what had just happened, you two fought but none ever raised voices nor insulted you like that... he was shocked and shaking as tears threatened to fall from his eyes still hearing his friends nagging.

they had heard everything.

his body trembled thinking that you probably hate him now.

without thinking twice he left the call with nick and George before running out of his room towards yours.

he tried to twist the knob of course its locked, he knocked.

"[name]? baby? please let me in, I'm sorry, I meant nothing of those words! baby? open the door, love... [name] I'm sorry! open the door"

he stopped mid-way hearing her muffled sobs and whimpers.

he started to panic, he went away and grabbed his spare key to your room and frantically opened the door to see you silently crying on the ground, hugging your knees.

he knew how you reacted when a person yells at you, he knew damn well that you were sensitive yet he had failed to take care of you, his mind was full of regret.

tears started falling from his eyes, seeing how much he had hurt you, he was frustrated about the hate and the constant blackmails about being doxxed and shit.

He quickly went towards you and hugged you, he picked you up and sat on the bed with you on his lap.

"Baby, I'm so sorry!" he hugged you tighter rubbing circles on your back.

"I'm a jerk, [name] I'm sorry" he continued kissing the top of your head and held your face to try and face you.

he had seen your face that was stained with tears with a hurtful expression on your face.

"I hate you" you mumbled "I just wanted you to eat, that all" she cried

"I know, I'm sorry baby, I was just stressed... I was frustrated that the hate will make you leave me I'm so sorry!" he explained kissing your forehead, and wiping the tears off your face.

he rested your head on his chest whispering sorry all over and over again, you had stopped the tears and now you have a runny nose

"ill never do that again, [name], I love you... we'll face the haters and continue loving each other, ok? I'm still very sorry, so to make it up to you, we'll spend two days, cuddling! just us, I promise"

he said laying the two of you on your bed. he caressed your cheeks and kissed your nose before moving towards your lips.

"I love you, I love you, I love you" he muttered all over and over kissing every part of your face.

he sighed contently taking a mental note

'must not shout at baby, must protect baby'

[9tzuyu]

dissolve (rewrite)

natasha x reader

note: this was just a huge vent fic idk. these type of fics seem to be the only thing im okay at writing. mistakes are mine as always. but i did proofread, yay!

if you want to read the original (as awful as it is) you can read it here!

wanrings: this heavily revolves around eating disorders.

i’m not tagging anyone because the content isn’t really the lightest to read.

words are used everyday, everywhere – whether to describe something or someone. there’s thousands upon thousands of them.

so you were having a hard time figuring out why you were struggling so much to justify your feelings through the basis of words. it was unnerving, draining and very annoying. your emotions should be simple, right? you were either sad or happy, angry or scared. but there was something more, something unexplainable. saying you felt alone only scratched the surface of the wave of emotion that took over. it was excruciatingly painful, far worse than any physical pain you ever had to endure. and for some reason it seemed to come crashing down at night while natasha slept peacefully. you weren't exactly sure how to express your emotions to the extent you felt them. how else was anyone supposed to understand your pain? they couldn't, not unless they could somehow shift into your body and feel your emotions themselves. but that was merely impossible as such powers do not exist. so you were inevitably stuck with words foreign to your lips. over the years you were deemed unsafe, a hazard, "an accident waiting to happen" you recall one doctor say. everyone’s eyes were on you at all times, monitoring every little movement you made. it was suffocating and at times doing more damage than good.

as an adult now you learned how freeing it could be without the fear of gaining weight or eating a bowl full of rainbow marshmallow cereal. your worth was not defined by your weight.

(at least that's what you believed prior to any relapses.) everything was going well in your life. you were a college graduate working as a psychiatric nurse and you had found love, something your teenage self could only dream of. natasha was by your side through everything. and really, the only downfall in the relationship was that she had to travel a lot for her job. but you were secure enough in your relationship not to worry or decide to call things off. in the end natasha always made up for it when she came back, so you couldn't complain too much. things were going well for you, really, they were. until they weren't. (and you didn't know why.) it happened out of nowhere. work was a little more stressful than usual, but it was nothing you couldn't handle. natasha had been away for three months, only stopping by a few times to check in on you. but again, your wife being away for so long wasn't anything new or worrisome. the two of you had followed the routine of her leaving and coming back more than a thousand times; yet somewhere along the way you lost yourself. food became less of a priority, your hunger decreased drastically, and within the first month you'd lost thirteen pounds. it truly was an accident, slipping into a full blown relapse was never part of the plan. but thirteen pounds lighter you wanted more, to feel small again. you didn't have an answer as to why you became so attached to your eating disorder, but it didn't seem like it would be letting go any time soon. the rate at which you were going natasha would most definitely be able to see a difference; not only on your weight, but in the person you once were. she'd ask what happened and why it happened, poking and prodding for an answer, but you didn't have one. so here you stood in the kitchen of your shared home, a cup of sliced fruit in one hand and your cell phone in the other. you poured the fruit into the bottom of a blender along with a spoonful of yogurt and half a cup of soy milk. another half cup of ice followed suit. while the fruit blended, you shamelessly scrolled through your instagram. there was nothing interesting going on in other people's lives, you didn't even know why you had social media in the first place. it was dumb, and quite frankly you didn't give a shit whether or not sharon went to the beach. the sound of your blender coming to a halt brought your attention back to the real world. you poured your smoothie into your water bottle. the green liquid would be your breakfast and lunch for the day - dinner was still up for debate. a soft sigh left your lips. work was beginning to feel more like a chore and less of something you enjoyed. you were quickly growing tired of it. nonetheless, you grabbed your keys and rushed out of the door.

you thought about the irony of working as a psychiatric nurse with an undealt eating disorder telling teenagers how to deal with their own issues. you felt hypocritical to say the least, especially given that all the nasty side effects were starting to make themselves known.

your hair was beginning to thin, small clumps of it already starting to fall out when you tugged a little too hard. bruises could be seen scattered left and right on your body, and you were cold. god you were cold. your fingernails were tinted blue, warmth seemingly too far out of reach. you looked ill, and it didn't go unnoticed by your coworkers.

a few hours into your shift you found yourself sitting behind the nurses station filling out paperwork. lunch had passed and when your coworker, steve, asked if you were going to eat something you lied straight through your teeth, telling him you'd grab something when the patients were eating dinner.

but steve rogers could read you like an open book. he knew you were lying because he already knew what was going on. the signs of an eating disorder were quite obvious when you were a licensed therapist. and despite your futile attempts at hiding it, everyone could tell something wasn't right.

steve played it by ear for weeks until he contacted natasha, but by then you'd already lost a considerable amount of weight. as soon as she heard the news, natasha booked the next flight home. unfortunately for her though, there was only one flight and she would have to wait two and a half weeks before being able to leave.

you didn't know it, but those were the longest two and a half weeks natasha ever had to wait.

– patients were having group therapy, so you could tune them out - not that you should, but it was hard to focus when the only two things you could think about were food and your weight.

the need to lose weight sounded so stereotypical for someone with an eating disorder, but honestly it wasn't about that. it was never about wanting to be thin. you genuinely didn't know why this was happening. the only thing you noticed was how rewarding it felt seeing the number go down, as if for you were good for becoming less. it was addictive. and it didn't help that you based your entire worth on how much you could lose.

the next time you stood up from behind the nurses station steve met you in the the cafeteria. while the patients ate you took occasional sips from your smoothie. the bottle was still full of its contents from the morning. you had completely forgotten to drink it during the day, but you didn't seem to mind it that much.

the surprise touch of steve's hand on your shoulder startled you.

i am gross, you thought. do not do that.

steve caught onto the slight flinch your body produced as a reflex, but he didn't say anything about it.

"you can leave early, boss said so."

he laughed as he saw confusion plaster your face.

"what? no!"

"go home, seriously. we have this handled. you know tony doesn't like being told no."

you bit your lip, puzzled by the sudden request. most people wouldn't mind being sent home early, but all it did for you was give you a level of anxiety reserved for food.

what you didn't know was that natasha was home waiting for your arrival. she came back just short of an hour after you left for work.

while you were gone natasha made a few thorough rounds in the house looking for key signs of your eating disorder. there was bound to be evidence given that you didn't know she was home.

unsurprisingly, natasha found a glass scale beside the counter of the bathroom floor along with empty bottles of laxatives in the trashcan. the food in the fridge had been expired a few days past their date, giving her the indication that you weren't eating as much as you should be. her concern grew even more when she found your food journal on your nightstand. flipping the pages, natasha could see that throughout the moths she'd been gone your calorie intake had decreased significantly.

guilt began to gnaw at the back of her throat.

during the few days natasha stopped by, she hadn't noticed anything wrong with you. but then again she knew most people with eating disorders were very good at hiding them up until the point they were discovered. three days wasn't near enough time for her to catch onto your tricks, not when her mind was still focused on her job.

natasha always listened intently whenever you would talk about your eating disorder, the first time being six months into the relationship on a date you felt like you had ruined.

but talking about it was much different than experiencing it with you, natasha had never done that before up until now. she read nearly every article there was about anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and ednos. sometimes when you were asleep she would watch documentaries on the disorder, always making sure to keep her volume at a low level.

the videos that hurt her the most were the ones teenagers struggling with the simple task of eating food.

(although natasha knew it wasn't that simple.)

it hurt because she knew that was you at some point in time.

upon your arrival, natasha cooked dinner. she wanted to hold onto the one sliver of hope that steve was wrong - that he was just overreacting - but she knew in her heart he was right about his assumption. however, dinner would only confirm what natasha so desperately wanted to deny.

when you walked through the door you were greeted with the overwhelming scent of food. you cringed at the thought of having to eat, but as soon as you looked up to see the redhead who'd been gone for so long your frown was washed away. a wide smile overtook your face and you rushed to jump into natasha's arms.

"i missed you so much," you whispered. "i thought you'd be gone for another few weeks?"

natasha's arms found their way around your waist as your legs wrapped around hers. "what? i can't come home early to surprise my wife?" you giggled in the crook of her neck. she smiled feeling the vibrations against her skin, happy to know that you'd missed her just as much as she missed you.

she sat you down, back facing you, she tended to the food. "you've lost weight," she commented, not missing the sharp inhale of your breath.

"how was work, nat?"

she nodded to herself. yeah, she didn't expect you to be so open on the first try.

"it was fine. dinner's ready, i made your favorite!" natasha threw a smile in your direction as she carried the plates over to the table. she had hoped to see your face light up the way it used to, but seeing the panicked look in your eyes further confirmed your relapse.

if nothing else, natasha wanted you to have a meal before she brought up the conversation.

"great... i love it, thank you nat!" your attempt at being enthusiastic failed miserably and you knew by the look she gave you, she already knew what was going on.

but throughout the meal, and despite the shakiness of your hand as it gripped the metal fork, natasha didn't say anything.

you weren't really sure which was worse; being confronted or knowing the both of you knew what the other was thinking and still not addressing it.

natasha's meal was good, you couldn't lie about that, but each bite you chewed caused the tightening in your chest to constrict further.

now you couldn't be good. or worthy. or deserving.

nat took away your plate when you were halfway through. she knew your limits, and she didn't want to push you too much out of your comfort zone.

"go change, i'll wash our dishes. meet you on the couch?"

you did as you were told, taking as long as you could to do so. except this time was different. you didn't glance in the mirror like you usually did, you chose to fully take in your figure.

what you saw was not what you expected to see. for the first time in months you saw a version of yourself that wasn't twisted and turned to be something you didn't know was real or not.

your skin was dry, hair thinned out beyond your belief, eyes sunken and dark underneath. the revelation gave you an odd feeling – was once again something unexplainable, unjustifiable by words.

good.

that was how you were supposed to feel, right? after all of this time, after the many pounds of protection and warmth lost, you were supposed to feel good.

but you didn't. and you never would.

there was something so surreal about the realization of your own destruction. you were aware now, which meant you had to either take responsibility or choose to lose everything you worked so hard for.

"y/n?"

your wife's voice snapped you out of your gaze and you scrambled to pile your dirty clothes and rush out of the bedroom.

as you made your way into the living room you could feel the intensity of natasha's gaze. any other time you would not mind her green eyes looking at you, but this time around you felt like you were in trouble.

she patted the empty spot next to her, to which you reluctantly joined. but even after everything you still tried to play it cool.

"what's up? is everything okay?"

she gave a low chuckle, "you tell me."

"what do you mean?"

"oh i think you know what i mean."

natasha’s reply was met with the loudest silence you ever had to sit through.

she bit her lip, "you know i got a call from steve a few weeks ago. he's concerned about you, and from what he's told me so am i."

you were quick to respond, automatically knowing what steve’s phone call was about. "i'm fine. so what if i've lost a couple of pounds? that doesn't automatically mean that im relapsing, natasha."

your quick snap reminded natasha that this kind of confrontation was like walking on eggshells.

she tilted her head, licking her lips. "i'm here with you, always." nat put a hand to the side of your face, gently rubbing her thumb at the top of your cheekbone. "i'm here."

it seemed pointless now to try and say anything because your secret was already out.

your mind began racing back and forth.

you wanted to keep what you knew best and natasha understood that. even by reading your body language she knew what you were debating.

"you know, to keep it you have to give it away." your eyes darted to meet hers. "mhm. you can still have that piece of you. mourn it, grieve it, do whatever you need to do to move onto a stage where it doesn't hurt you. and from there you can help other people, share your experience, let yourself heal by helping others."

she paused, “we all have choices. some of those choices are taken from you while others leave you with only one option.”

although what she said seemed to resonate with you, there was one thing still holding you back.

"i just want to be good."

natasha hummed. you had explained it to her in the past, though your words were jumbled together as you tried to describe it.

"you can be good in other ways. you're allowed to live a life outside of the barriers your eating disorder puts in the way."

you swallowed the lump in the back of your throat. "i don't even know how it got to this point. in january i enjoyed ihop and dennys. in february i could have oatmeal and bananas, sometimes half of a sandwhich if i was feeling brave. now it’s march and i only eat one or two things a day. the idea of having a full meal makes me want to cry. and i just- i don't know how to stop."

natasha wouldn't show it, but your words cut through her heart like a knife. her mind wandered briefly to all the teenagers in the documentaries she'd watched, hoping you weren't too far gone into your eating disorder to ever come back. those cases scared her the most.

"you've got my complete support. you've tackled this before, maybe this time you can beat it? i know its easier to abuse your body instead of growing comfortable in it, but i think you’ve got this. i know you do."

"what about your work?" your question caused natasha to frown. "you think i wouldn't set my job aside for you?" you shrugged, it's not like you felt like you were worth being taken care of anyway.

natasha grew hesitant to tell you her news, but did it anyway because she’d rather you hate her than see you dead. "i've already made some appointments for you. the first one is tomorrow morning."

"i figured you would natasha. it's okay."

you spaced yourself out the rest of the day. each time you made the executive decision to recover, whether that be a genuine recovery or not, the process never failed to remind you that even trying to recover from an eating disorder felt like mourning the loss of a friend who was never good for you in the first place.

[miraeluc]

you’re suffering alone

prompt: “kageyama knows you as his little ray of sunshine, but what does he do when he finds out how you really feel?”

pairing: kageyama x female! reader 

word count: 3k

warnings: MAJOR tw!!! depression, again major tw self harm, reader cries a lot when kageyama finds out, reader’s mom is dead lol i went all out 

genre: fluff, angst

you were always their little ray of sunshine

when you first joined the school a year ago and introduced yourself all excitedly

hinata ran to tanaka after that class

“we need to convince her to be our manager!!!!”

tanaka was down lol

it didn’t take long to convince you, you were looking for extracurricular activities to engage in anyway 

the conversation went a bit like this

“y/n-san! do you want to be karasuno’s volleyball team manager?”

“sure!”

“we swear it- did you just say yes?”

“...yes”

cue tanaka and hinata screaming 

after you became their manager it didn’t take you and kageyama too long to fall in love either 

he adored the good vibes you brought with in any room you stepped in and you enjoyed the calmness that came with him (except when hinata’s around to annoy him, pretty boy radiates ᵃⁿᵍʸ energy then lol)

poor boy didn’t know that what he felt towards you until he had the whole team screaming at him to ask you out 

so he did 

and so you ended up here, 10 months into dating kageyama and 12 months into being karasuno’s manager along with kiyoko and hitoka 

everyone found it a little weird that you were always the one to stay the longest out of everyone, but everyone assumed it was just because you genuinely enjoyed being there

which you did, don’t get me wrong

that just wasn’t the only reason.

no one actually knew why you had changed schools in the middle of the year

every time someone asked you pushed it off, claiming your old school just wasn’t working out and started babbling about how much you love being at this school and how glad you are to have found real friends like them

“time for a break, i brought food!!”

you held the bags of food up, getting tackled in a gross sweaty hug by nishinoya 

“it’s like you heard my stomach calling out for you, y/n!!! you’re my saviour!!!”

you immediately laughed 

“i know, noya, now get off, you’re sweaty” you cringed a little and he got off, a little offended but he quickly forgot about it and snatched the bags 

you were all sat on the ground, everyone eating quietly when hinata started complaining about his mother nagging him to focus a little more on studying 

that’s how everyone started talking about their mothers, somehow everyone having a little to complain about 

“what ‘bout you, y/n? you have nothing to remark about your mom like our little crybabies here?” daichi looked at you

everyone whined at that,, “we’re not babies!!”

you tensed up at the question before relaxing and smiling 

“nope! my mom is perfect.” you giggled

“woah, i wish!! you need to introduce me to your mom, y/n!!” 

noya was very invested in your mom being perfect, lol

you see

kageyama here is very observant, whether it be on the court or just, well, people in general

he saw you tense up for that split-second, not pressing it further 

he knows you most likely aren’t ready to talk about it 

now that he thinks about it, you never talk about your family

he’d love to know but he understands that you’ll come to him when you’re ready to tell him and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by nagging you about it

“i’ll introduce you to her, noya” you giggled

his face lit up and he nodded before the topic changed again and you could now also speak to them about how annoying and hard math class is

fr tho i hate math 

after they were done eating no one could move anymore, let alone practice

hinata tried

keyword tried 

he threw up....

no one else even wanted to practice after that - opting to clean up and end practice for today instead

“kageyama, ill head out a bit early today, i’ve got some stuff to do” you said

you startled the shit out of him because he was just bringing the last volleyball to the cart

“HO- oh.” he stopped himself from screaming and turned to you 

“alright, just take care..” he mumbled, ruffling your hair which made you whine and fix it 

you hate when he does that 

he thinks your reaction is adorable

you scoffed and pulled him down to your height to plant a little kiss on his cheek 

he blushed, pda isnt for him

you loved his soft side so much 

nonetheless he smiled at you and straightened up again 

“call me if anything happens” he cleared his throat 

baby was a little awkward with stuff like this 

you didn’t mind though

you nodded and smiled “will do!”

and off you were lol 

hinata then popped up infront of kageyama 

“what’d you do to her!?!?!?! she never leaves early!!!!!!!”

kageyama pushed him away by the head 

“she just has stuff to do, shut up.”

“hey, mom..” you smiled lightly as you sat down 

“nishinoya is really looking forward to meeting you! the whole team asked about you today.. today was an ok day, i was pretty distracted all day so i didn’t have the time to feel sad again.”

...

you sighed

“but, you know, it’s been getting harder lately. it seems that getting out of bed to get to school is getting harder.. i love making everyone happy, but it’s hard being the provider and never getting something in return. sometimes, when things get hard, i just want to drop everything. i want to stop acting so bubbly and happy, but i know you wouldn’t want me to lose my smile.”

you stood up 

“i’ll get going then, i love you.”

you placed the flowers down on the grave before you, staring down at it with a sad smile before making your way home, yet again 

the next day you showed up to school as you usually did, taking your seat next to kageyama after greeting him like usual 

you were having a conversation with hinata

it was too early for kageyama to speak 

everyone was confused when you didn’t show up to practice that day

kags(｡◝‿◜｡) , 2:47pm: are you not coming to practice?

y/n, 2:49pm: no baby, i’m sorry :( i really can’t tODAY, im so upset over it 

kags(｡◝‿◜｡), 2:50pm: did something happen?

kags(｡◝‿◜｡), 2:53pm: y/n?

y/n, 3.26pm: nope, i just have some stuff to do at home  (╥﹏╥)

the next day you showed up like usual again, this time attending practice too

just like that the days seemed to go by in a blur for you 

day by day you felt yourself breaking more 

day by day the scars on your hips multiplied 

and day by day it got a little harder to make the room light up when you stepped inside 

it was after practice and it was only you, nishinoya and kageyama left 

“hey, y/n, can i finally meet your mom today??”

he was pressing around so much about it 

you smiled and shrugged,

“sure, i bet she doesn’t mind a visit”

“can i come too?” kageyama asked timidly and you nodded 

“of course.. it’s about time.” you smiled 

your eyes were a little glassy 

he frowned

nishinoya was too busy getting excited over meeting the first ever perfect mother to notice and he began dragging you out “let’s go then!”

he was pulling you to the direction of your place before you abruptly stopped

“ah-ah, i didn’t say i still live with her, did I?”

you had both boys confused now and you started walking into the right direction

you intertwined your fingers with kageyama’s

he squeezed your hand a little 

he knew you needed a little support 

only did he not expect you to lead them to the cemetery

nishinoya’s smile dropped when you actually entered the cemetery 

he saw it but he expected you to walk past 

you stopped in front of your mothers grave 

“there she is.” you let out a sigh 

kageyama felt his heart drop 

“wait, y/n, i’m so sorry for pressing this so mu-”

kageyama pulled you in a tight hug, shaking his head at the boy, who now went quiet 

he felt so horrible

you were trying so hard to hold your tears back, looking at noya

“don’t worry, you didn’t know.” 

you still smiled at him 

kageyama then spoke 

“it’s best if you go home, don’t you think?”

he didn’t even sound angry at this point 

nishinoya nodded and left 

he really felt so bad 

you couldn’t hold back and broke out in tears after

this was the first time you cried in front of your boyfriend 

he didn’t expect it to hurt this much 

hearing your little sobs break through you 

he could feel his own heart breaking as he tightened the hug 

neither of you said anything

he just let you cry into his chest 

he didn’t need to tell you he was there for you with words

he told you through gently patting your back as you cried

he told you through not judging you when you cried like this 

even when it started raining and the rain was slowly seeping through both of your clothes he didnt loosen his grip on you 

he let you finish crying 

however long it took 

and when you finally looked up at him, only the moon’s light illuminating your face, he felt his heart break, again, at the sight of your puffy eyes and red nose

he wanted to protect you from all bad things, forever.

“gosh, i’m sorry, it took me so long to stop crying..” 

he shook his head and pecked your forehead quickly “no. you didn’t.”

“..is this why you always avoided talking about your mother?”

you nodded, looking down at her grave, the flowers you placed there two days ago already droopy

you then looked up at him again 

“thank you, for.. supporting me..”

nishinoya apologised about 27 times when he saw you 

you kept reassuring him that it was alright but he felt so bad 

he felt so bad he couldn’t even properly play that day 

daichi sent him home early

“come back when you dont have two left legs!!!”

practice ended soon after that anyway 

you sat on a bench, filling out the last bits of your homework so you didnt have to do it at home, not even noticing that it was just you and kageyama left until he called out to you 

“hey, y/n, mind throwing me some balls? i’m not tired yet and i want to keep practicing”

you happily helped

you admired his determination to get better daily

it was refreshing, seeing him so passionate about volleyball 

how couldn’t you help when he asked like that

that’s how he was now practicing as you were talking 

“can you come over tonight?”

you furrowed your brows

“but it’s a school night?”

he shrugged “i don’t care. you haven’t been at my place for three entire weeks! i only see you at school, i miss you.” he was honest

he really missed you and he wanted to know what was up with your lame excuses every time he asked 

you then nodded 

“alright then, i’ll come.”

whilst he was busy drinking water you tried ‘passing’ the ball (at which you horribly failed)

“look, i’m a better setter than you!”

he chased you down lol 

you took him by surprise when he finally caught you, grabbing onto your hips, followed by a loud intake of breath and a wince from you

fuck

well

he obviously immediately let go

“y/n. what’s wrong?”

you sighed and turned towards him

“um.. i.. hit my hip earlier today..?” you trailed off and he immediately knew that you were lying 

honestly, he kind of had an idea of what it was 

he just didn’t want to think of that possibility

he might be a bit slow, but he’s not stupid 

he has a slight idea why you haven’t been coming over

he notices how the circles under your eyes have gotten darker 

he notices how you sleep in classes, which is something you never do 

and he’s so, so worried 

but he’s scared to approach you 

he’s scared to confirm his worst fears 

he shook his head at you “don’t lie.”

you sighed softly “kageyama, it’s nothing.”

you avoided his gaze and he shook his head again, now unable to hold back from speaking 

“no, y/n. you’re not okay, i know you’re not. i know that you struggle every day and i know you don’t like speaking about it, but i just can’t keep watching you suffer in silence, i do give you your space, but not when it truly concerns your well-being to the point i cant touch you or see you as often as i’d like to!” 

he stopped and took a deep breath, shaking his head 

“let’s go home first, i want to talk about this in a place i can do more for you.”

you were speechless

you never had expected him to notice anything, let alone speak up about it 

you were so lost in thought you let him drag you to his room quietly 

you snapped back to reality when he was unlocking his door, walking inside when it was open - you following 

you sat on his bed, still not knowing what to say

how the tables turn, usually its kageyama being the quiet one and you being the one to fill the silence with unnecessary babbling lol 

he looked at you, uncertainty swimming in his eyes

“can i see?”

you immediately knew what he was talking about, looking down 

you pondered over it a little before nodding

he crouched down before you, looking up at you 

“you know you can trust me, right?”

you furrowed your brows “of course”

“you don’t need to hide your feelings from me, baby, i love you through all of your emotional states, i love seeing you happy but i like comforting you when you feel sad too, you mustn’t hide your feelings.”

your eyes filled with tears at that one sentence

i love you through all of your emotional states

“thank you..” you sniffled

“i mean it. it hurts me when you hide it, it makes me feel so helpless, i don’t want to watch you crumble before my eyes, please, talk to me..”

“i just feel so hopeless, kags.. my heart feels so dull lately.”

you finally let in

“it feels like every single day repeats itself and all of my responsibilities are so hard to fulfill..it’s so hard turning up to school, bringing positive energy with me when all i feel is my sadness taking over my entire self bit by bit.”

he was listening, now sat on the floor before you, chin resting on your knee as you spoke

“but you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness except yours. i don’t like when you prioritise others before yourself, y/n.. i don’t say it often but you’re truly so important to me and i don’t want you to lose yourself only because you try to make others happy.. it isn’t worth it, we love you for you, i can assure you, no one from our group would judge you for feeling down, we all have bad days, gosh, we all have bad weeks or even months! hiding these feelings will only worsen your pain and lead you to.. do irrational things..” he said, fingertips tracing over your hip gently

“let me see first and then we’ll talk about how we’re fixing this, ok?”

you sniffled and nodded, letting him pull the side of your pants down enough to reveal to him what he feared most 

seeing the cuts scattered on your skin broke him, truly.

he gulped and stood up, leaving to get you a pair of his shorts

“put these on, this way i can tend to them better.” he said, wanting to clean it up first before telling you his thoughts about it 

you nodded and changed into the shorts, him trying not to break down there and then as he left to get some stuff

when he came back you were patiently waiting for him and let him clean the cuts with some alcohol (not without complaining at the stings) before he bandaged them up as best as he could

he then laid down and pulled you with him, hugging you

“oh my precious y/n..” he mumbled

he was hugging your head to his chest to hide the fact that he was tearing up 

he wanted to help you so bad but he knew exactly that he couldn’t just end your suffering and it hurt him 

“but why? why do you do that to yourself?”

his voice cracked when he asked and you looked up, realisation hitting you 

you hurt him so bad by doing this.

the person you loved and cherished most 

“it felt like the only escape”

he caressed the top of your head

“pressuring you into stopping won’t help and isn’t worth it, but please, when you feel like.. doing that, call me instead. i’ll be at your place in no time and- even if you don’t want to talk i can just hug you and keep you company-”

you cut him off by pressing your lips against his

“i will, baby. i’ll call you whenever i feel down from now on”

he nodded “thank you”

he was thanking you as if he wasn’t the one helping you right now

you now hugged him back, “i’m sorry for not saying earlier..”

he hummed “lets just lay here. you’ll get better, i promise.”

he kept his promise

ever since that day, he’s been calling you morning and night, making sure you felt good waking up and going to bed 

he often called you through entire nights

he made you slowly start to understand that your purpose wasn’t to make anyone happy but yourself

he made you realise you were more than a mere person that’s always happy

and he made you understand that showing your feelings wasnt something to be embarrassed about 

(the entire team was very supportive too when they found out you were struggling! kageyama didn’t explain the details though)

so yep.

you had kageyama and a bunch of friends that were supporting you 

and for the first time, you felt hopeful for the future, your mother watching over you proudly after years of struggling and even having to move schools for a fresh start

she could now rest easily, knowing your guardian angel found his way to you and won’t ever leave you.

a/n: YALL I MADE MYSELF EMO WITH THIS ONE:( i hope you enjoyed it & please leave comments about it! 

[tsukkiboii]

hi bby! i said i was gonna leave an ask and i meant that. can i ask for a tsukki, kenma or kuroo? maybe they about an argument and then they make-up? maybe they fought about fans flirting with them or video games or whatever! ill let you decide! love you ❤❤❤❤❤

my first request sjhjshshsj🥺🥺

bea bb thank you i love n appreciate you so much <3 i decided to go with kenma and arguing over a video game bc i vibed with it the most hehe, i hope you like it!! this fic is so much longer than i had intended it to be im sorry-

and i apologize that this took so long :( life has been really messy and all over the place :((

fights, tears, and make-ups

pairing: kenma kozume x reader

word count: 1.4k

genre: angst (but i honestly can’t tell if it’s super ansty-), fluff, hurt/comfort

synopsis: kenma shouldn’t have taken you for granted, but he did. 

“Kenma, you need to eat dinner.”

“In a sec,” you heard the blond-haired boy reply from his gaming room, undoubtedly with his eyes still glued to the screen.

“Kenma. You haven’t eaten all day. You need to eat.”

Seconds pass with no response. With a sigh, you grabbed the bowl beside you and walked towards his room. Sliding open his door, you find him completely focused on the game. He’s pale, dark circles under his eyes drooping and anyone walking in would see he’s exhausted, needing rest, but he can’t. The only thing on his mind is that he has to pass this level.

Walking over gently, you place the bowl onto his table. Kenma jumps at the noise, not having known you were there, the motion making his screen character go a little too far left and being crushed by a falling rock.

He throws his console onto the desk and gives you a stare burning through your skin. “I was about to pass that level. I’ve been stuck on it for a day and you just had to enter right then.”

“Kenma, you haven’t eaten a single thing today-”

“Oh, shut up.”

You tense up under his harsh words, about to speak when you’re cut off by more of his rambling.

“Kenma this, Kenma that. It’s annoying. Quit acting like I can’t take care of myself. Things were so much quieter and calmer without you anyways.”

His tone is barely above a whisper, almost as if he thought it was too much of a bother to talk to you. Taken aback by his words, you take a moment to fully absorb what he had said, every word cutting a slash into your heart. 

“I hope your life goes back to calm and quiet” were the last words you left him before you left the apartment with tears streaming down your face. 

Kenma’s eyes linger on you for a moment before going back onto his screen. He instantly regrets what he said, but doesn’t go after you. Instead, he restarts his game and his character dies again, at the exact same place.

The bowl of food on his table goes cold. 

The first day with you gone passes fine for Kenma. As usual, he goes to sleep at way too late and gets up at noon-ish and scrambles together some food to prepare for his stream. His viewers tell him he doesn’t seem as energetic, and isn’t smiling as much. He says that he’s a little tired and didn’t sleep too well last night, which was only half the truth. He feels a little empty, mind often tracing back to your smile and then immediately to your tear-stained face. He eats two bites of bread for dinner and decides to go to sleep.

“I’ll be fine,” he thinks, “I don’t need y/n to live.”

The days only spiral downhill from there. Snack wrappers thrown all over the apartment and laundry piled up into stacks. He hasn’t eaten something actually cooked in days. Having no energy to do anything, he calls off streams for a whole week. Most of his time is spent lying on the sofa with his face towards the ceiling, replaying his last conversation with you in his head over and over and over again. 

“Things were much quieter and calmer without you anyways.”

I’m sorry. Please come back.

He contemplates so many times on whether or not to call you, to text you, to try and get in touch with you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was the one who hurt you, told you you were annoying when he didn’t realize how much you matter to him. 

Kuroo checks in on Kenma every single day. By the fourth day, he’s determined to make him talk to you.

“Kenma, you can’t keep living like this.”

Tired eyes glued to his screen, the pudding-head boy grumbles in response, Not enough energy in him to do anything else.

Sighing, Kuroo unplugs his entire monitor and forces his chair to spin towards him so that he’s staring Kenma right in the eyes. 

“Kenma, I’m serious. You need to talk to her.”

“And then what?”

Kuroo staggers a little, taken aback from the question.

“And then what, Kuroo? I hurt her. She deserves so much better anyways.”

The rooster-haired boy takes his phone and throws it onto his lap.

“You need to call her sooner or later. I don’t know when, but you need to.”

Kenma gently holds his phone with two hands with his thumbs hovering over the screen, constantly switching between the keyboard and the delete button. He debates himself for fifteen seconds before giving up and pressing the call button.

The phone has rung seven times and you have yet to pick up. He’s certain that you won’t pick up at all. Yet on the eighth ring, you pick up.

“Kenma?” He hears from the other side.

His voice hitches in his throat. A thousand thoughts are crossing his mind and his breath is suddenly stggered. He tries to say “I’m sorry”, “Where are you”, and “Please come back” at the same time, but none of them seem to be coming out. 

“Kenma, you there?”

“Yn.”

His voice is so empty, dull, tiring and you almost drop your phone out of shock.

“Where are you?”

Coming back to reality, you swallow and reply, “Friend’s house. Why?”

“Can we, uhm, can we talk?”

Your side of the line goes silent for three whole seconds before you take a deep breath and reply, “Sure. Give me a time and place.”

“If you don’t mind, can you just come home?”

HIs voice quivered at the word home, like it wasn’t really home to him anymore. Not without you. You couldn’t help but tell him you’ll be back in a bit.

As you reach closer to your building, the more your heart threatens to jump out of your throat. There’s a knot in your stomach that you just can’t get rid of, and even though you know this was all his fault, your mind can’t stop racing. None of this was your fault, was it?

Before realizing, your hand was on the door handle and without thinking too much, you push the door open.

To say you were shocked from the state of the apartment is an understatement. Yes, Kenma wasn’t the tidiest person in the world, but you knew he’d never let the apartment get this messy. The moment you walked in you knew he would be in a bad state too, which confused you. But he didn’t want you here, did he?

Suddenly, you hear footsteps coming towards you. Frozen in place, you wonder if this was a bad idea. If you should just leave and tell him you couldn’t make it, but it’s too late. By the time your head has gotten back into reality, he was standing in front of you, eyes full of guilt and regret. 

“Hey,” you try to say, which turns out to be nothing more than a whisper. 

Hesitating for a second, he stumbles towards you and falls into your arms, leaning into your touch, burying his face into your neck and mumbling “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me” again and again. 

“I was stupid. It’s all my fault. I was frustrated and took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Everything is so much better with you and I was being dumb. I’m so sorry please don’t leave.” His eyes were brimmed with tears, threatening to spill out any second. He’s rambling, words that he had meant to say to you over the past days all spilling out. He can’t seem to be able to stop. You’ve never seen him so scared, so vulerable. 

Holding him tight, you take a deep breath, swallowing the many things you wanted to say to him, to blame him, to yell at him, to tell him it’s all his fault. 

Instead, you hold him tight against you. 

“Shh, Kenma. I’m here now. I won’t leave, okay? I’ve got you, we can talk this out.”

He grabs onto you even tighter. “Thank you. Thank you thank you.”

You were going to have a lot to talk about, you both knew that for sure. And maybe things aren’t going to go back to how they were for a long time. But right now he was in your arms and you were in his, and he was never more determined to fix what he broke. 

[majoraslion]

Mind Your Role Demigod (Mk11 Oc x Shang Tsung)

Fluff, Angst, Sadness and Anger

Rating:More on Mature side for cursing, gore and slight NSFW mentions

Characters: Julissia (Oc), Dark Raiden, Funjin, and Shang Tsung

Prompt: Julissa had gotten into another arguement with Raiden about her role as a demigod and she stormed off from the sky temple angry, she figured she’d head to the Sorcerer’s island to talk and relax but it turns out Shang Tsung is in a angry mood and won’t give the dragon the time of the day to listen to her problems. So they get into a arguement and Harsh things are said before Julissa heads off to the other side of the island to be alone and Shang starts to feel guilty for what he said before he complicates on either comforting her or leaving her be. 

(It may not be the best written but hope you like it!)

Rain pours down against the ground in a harsh manner, some would think the rain was showing it’s anger and boy they was right. Up above in the clouds lays a temple in the sky. Dark clouds that echoes with thunder lay around as two loud voices was booming from the halls. A 7 foot tall giant of a man slams a staff down electricity coming from it as he glares down over a young woman who looked like she wasn’t backing down anytime soon. On the other side watching them was another man who was braiding his hair eyeing the the man making sure the argument wasn’t going anywhere rougher than it needed to be. “Uncle Raiden for the last time no. I am not taking on these stupid duties! That is your job not mine.” “Don’t raise your voice at me Julissa!” The booming voice of Raiden speaks. 

“You will stop these mortal games and take your place in learning about your demi god role. It is part of your duty and you will do it.”  Julissa rolls her eyes and she crosses her arms looking up staring in Raiden’s glowing white eyes softly. “Uncle Raiden stop. I just want to be normal okay, it’s bad enough i deal with the fact my mom was a pure evil goddess bent on ruling everything. You don’t think i don’t hear this shit enough from Cetrion and then you! It’s tiring just like all the training!” Raiden sighs and puts a firm hand on her shoulder as he squeezes it gently. “Watch your Language Julissa..and you know we do this for your own good. We have to be on our toes to protect Earthrealm at anytime. Lu Kaing can’t always be there as the chosen one.” “Oh so the “Chosen one” gets it off real easy since he’s your star pupil, all i get is chewed out by a demi good who hasn’t taken a nap in a millennium! Which news flash it helps!” 

Raiden scowls raising his voice as the thunder grows stronger outside shaking the building with each strike. “Julissa do not back talk me! You will take on you role, you can’t always run away from your problems when it’s necessary !” “My problems never fight me back unlike you do!” She pushes his hand off her shoulder and the man walks over from the wall putting a gentle hand on Julissa’s shoulder feeling her relax under his grip as Raiden eyes him. “Fujin do not butt into our conversation.” “Brother I think you need to take it easy on her. She can only do so much without you stressing her out.”  Raiden crosses his arms as they feel the anger radiating off him as the wind god and dragon god look to each other bracing the wrath from the thunder god himself. “This is all because you hang around that snake Shang Tsung! You have become rebelious listening to his lies!” Julissa opens her mouth but she shakes her head growling towards Raiden.  “Hey! Don’t talk about Shang like that! He isn’t the problem, ever thought that it’s you Uncle Raiden. You won’t take anything we tell you with a grain of salt!” 

“She is right brother.” Fujin says calmly as he puts Julissa behind his back starting at his brother. “I understand you have been under a lot of stress here with the tournament and what’s been going on. Take it out on me but not Julissa. She has no part in this.”  “She has every part in this when she goes behind our backs and hangs out with Shang Tsung. He’s been filling her head with lies Fujin, who knows what he has told her to make her ditch her duties.”  Fujin rolls his eyes and he walks up to Raiden as he puts his hand on his shoulder making sure not to anger him further. “Brother the only one here that’s been filling her head with things would be you. You been putting pressure on her to be fill her role that you haven’t been doing a good job yourself, it’s a wonder she stays away from the temple and lives among the mortals. She feels like herself there and has love and support of everyone but you. You have driven her away and made her resent you.” 

Raiden clenches his fists as his electricity turns a deep red and the two’s eyes widen at the action. “Well then If it must be done then I’ll teach you a lesson first brother, then i will make sure Julissa listens to me.” Julissa backs up from the thunder gods wraith and she almost yelps as static is felt at her tail. “Oh..he’s angry Uncle Fujin, what do we do.” “Julissa head off, I will calm my brother down.” Julissa looks to her uncle as he sheaves his sword softly. “Will you be okay.” “I’ll be fine, he’s under stress and isn’t meaning to take it out on us. But if you don’t want to see it get ugly i suggest you go now.”  She nods at Fujin and the woman rushes off noting Raiden walking towards her before he is stopped by Fujin in his tracks. “Your fight is with me not her.” “Move brother NOW.”  Julissa dodges a bolt of electricity and she closes her eyes feeling fur and scales grow as she transforms into her dragon form, her claws click against the marble floor and she sees the clouds ahead as yells is heard behind her the winds and electricity picking up more.  A bolt hits Julissa’s side and she hisses in pain being knocked into the clouds as she falls through them. Below the clouds Julissa floats down softly eyeing the ocean around her as she navigates around, she ignores the pain in her side as she spots the island ahead of her knowing that’s her destination. She bears her fangs as she slips and she lands in the sands clumsily sliding down until she comes to a complete stop. Julissa pants laying down in the warm sand resting a bit as she gets her bearings.

 “If I knew better I’d say you made quite the show didn’t you dragon..”  Julissa lifts her head up seeing Shang Tsung walking towards her looking quite annoyed at her sudden interruption of whatever he was doing, she groans getting up and she watches him stop eyeing the damage done to her body. “Sorry to interrupt your “highness” but Im in need of a hiding place for a little while until Uncle Raiden cools off.”  His lips quirk up into a smirk at her snapback of a tone and he chuckles dryly. “I sensed the storm brewing, what did you do this time hmm?”  She huffs turning back into her human form and she sways as Shang helps her up. “What didn’t I do, he’s pissed off as usual at me rejecting being a god and hanging out with you.”  Shang Tsung rolls his eyes and lets her hand go walking ahead as the woman follows him softly, Julissa holds her side watching the servants back up nervously as they walk through the halls. She was used to Shang’s abrupt ways of things but she knew it was his way of showing he did like her company even if he was distant.. They stop at his studies and walk in as he throws old books off his desk to the floor clearing it off. “Sit dragon.”

 “Yes sir~.” She purrs sitting on the cool desk with a wince, Shang closes the door with a thud locking it and he walks over sitting in the chair staring at her with cold eyes. “Well..” “Well what?” She looks to him confused as he holds the bridge of his nose. “Take your shirt off Dragon..”  “I thought you was done studying me for a few weeks Shang, am I that interesting to you.” She lightly teases and he looks to her with a unamused look as he grips the singed side of her shirt with his gauntlet. “The wound you moron, take your damned shirt off or ill do it.” “Okay okay sheesh! Everyone’s a critic..” She grips the base of the cloth raising it over her head wincing as the place starts to hurt, she throws it to the side looking back to Shang with tired eyes. “There happy?” She shivers at the cool air and relaxes a bit as she’s pretty comfortable with Shang seeing her half naked. It’s not like he hasn’t as much as he studies her in and out of her dragon form. He’s comfortable with her as much as he’s seen her breasts a lot of times. Raiden would kill her if he knew about it though. “How bad is the damage.”  He reaches over to a box grabbing some glasses putting them on before he goes back to Julissa, he looks to the burned spot his cool gauntlets grazing over her skin making her shiver softly.  Shang studies the place seeing the burned and charred skin that was bleeding in some places as he uses the sharp end of the gauntlet to scrape off some of the burnt skin revealing the bright red muscle hearing Kaiti let out a sharp hiss of pain.

“What the hell Shang Tsung!? That hurts you know!!” He looks up to her before he presses his hand against it hearing her whimpers of pain, she holds back her tears as she grips the table. “Who did this to you Songbird..” The dark tone that laced his voice go un noticed by Julissa as she looks to him hearing the nickname, prior to anyone’s knowledge Shang was kind and gentle around Julissa when no one was around. She was used to the small nicknames he gave her but it did show he cared about her. “It was Uncle Raiden..” She groans out feeling blood now leaking from the wound as it was aggravated from all the unwanted touches. Shang sighs as he lightly heals the wound so far as it could go before he starts to wrap it up with bandages. “You just let him attack you?” “No I didn’t just let him attack me, Fujin sent me off before any damage could be done.” He tightens the bandages handing Julissa one of his old shirts as she watches him clean up putting the shirt on noting it was pretty big on her. “Were is he now.” “Still at the temple, Fujin should be calming him down by now. It’s why i came down here. It wouldn’t have been bad if he didn’t start that demi god shit like he does.”  

Shang ignores her as he picks up the books around them. “Seriously it make’s me mad he sometimes compares me to Lu Kaing and them, like am I not my own person just because I don’t want to do any of that.” She doesn’t hear anything from the sorcerer and she looks seeing him ignoring her still. “Uh Shang did you hear any of that?”  “I heard you. I just chose to ignore it like i usually do.” “W-What..you mean every time i try to talk to you, you ignore me!?” “He may have a point dear, you can’t just ignore all the problems that comes with what you are. You always put it away just to goof off. You aren’t the most responsible fighter there is you know.” Julissa narrows her eyes and she gets up gripping his arm in anger before she turns him to face her. “Don’t tell me your gonna give me the same damned lecture to. I thought i could come to you Shang Tsung. I really thought you’d understand me out of all people. Your just like Raiden!!” She spits a bit of fire feeling her body heat up from all the emotions, Shang puts his hands on her shoulders seeing her look to him. “Calm down Julissa. It isn’t that bad, we can talk if you want dear but your making a big deal out of nothing.” “NOTHING!? Dammit i escaped this shit up at the temple and now Im hearing it from a man i care about! Your all the same you don’t understand!!” She feels hot tears run down her cheeks as her vision gets blurry.

Shang feels his patience getting thin and he digs his clawed fingers into her shirt digging them in. “S-Shang that hurts..” “You listen to me..you do not direct that anger towards me. I can throw you off my island as fast as you came here dragon.” Julissa glares and she throws his hands off her. “Then why don’t you do it. You seem so sure that don’t want me around!”  “Maybe I don’t want a immature brat around here! You don’t take anything seriously and your nothing but a thorn in my side!” Julissa feels the tears pour some more and she shakes her head. “I wish I never met you Shang Tsung! Your a old fool who was nothing but a lackey to Shao Khan!” Shang goes quiet and he glares to Julissa with hatred and hurt in his eyes. “Mind your role Demigod..your a pathetic weak mongrel that Raiden just uses to help fuel his ego. Your not worth those powers and deserve what comes to you.”  Julissa’s eyes widen and she shakes softly. “I hate you Shang Tsung..”  The dragon god disappears and Shang Tsung is stunned as the words echoes through his head, Julissa lands in the sand on the outside of the island and she holds her head finally letting it all out with a roar of pain. She hits the sand in anger and turns into her dragon form letting out more roars before she collapses sobbing quietly. 

The moon rises in the sky as Shang is trying to enjoy his dinner, its quiet not having Julissa sit beside him to enjoy it with him. He shakes his head messing with his food hating these weak feelings. He’s been feeling guilty for yelling at her and her words had been echoing through his head all day. Although he can sense she’s still on the island he hasn’t heard a word from her, Shang gets up and he heads to the window looking out over the ocean noticing her laying on the beach. He sighs softly and he walks off going to talk to her. Julissa looks at the water quietly hearing seagulls cawing over her, she didn’t really have the strength to leave since she felt drained from letting all her emotions out but the view was peaceful to her. She covers her body trying to keep warm but to no avail as the water comes in. A shiver racks though her and she closes her eyes trying to distract herself from it until she feels warm all of a sudden. Julissa opens her eyes confused and she looks seeing a coat was placed over her body, she grips the coat to her feeling someone sit next to her. 

“Shang..” She says tired and hoarse looking ahead of her. Last person she expected to come and see her after what happened, Shang shifts in place and he wraps a arm around Julissa bringing her close to him. “What are you doing sorcerer.” “You’ll freeze to death if you don’t warm up dragon..you been out here all night you know.” She looks down softly and she sighs letting him hold her, they both sit quietly watching the waves come in before Shang breaks the silence finally. “I’m..I’m sorry Julissa. It was wrong of me to ignore you when you needed me and to say those things when i didn’t mean it.” Julissa looks to him grabbing his hand as he looks to her tired eyes. “I’m sorry to Shang Tsung. It was wrong of me to get angry with you and say those horrible things. I understand your a busy man and under stress. I guess i do come to you with to much of my problems huh.” He lets out a deep chuckle and brings the woman in his lap gently pressing a kiss to her forehead letting her lay her head on his chest. “I guess we’re both under stress huh..” “Yes but I promise to listen to you more.” “And I promise to take my demi god role more serious, I guess you and Raiden was right. I am a bit immature huh.”

Shang presses butterfly kisses to her neck and she lets out loud giggles. “Hey quit that tickles!” She laughs as they both go back in the sand laughing and look up to the moon, Julissa lays on his chest listening to his heart and she sighs. “Looks like I may need to stay the night. Although I don’t see any storms raging I wonder if Uncle Raiden has calmed down any.”  “He may have songbird. Although i wouldn’t test the waters to be sure.” “Pfft Uncle Fujin is the king of keeping him at bay i’m sure it’s good.” They both relax on the beach talking as the clouds part some more, Fujin and Raiden back up from the sight and Raiden rubs his head. “I guess you was right brother. They are happy together.” “I told you let her go towards the decisions. She’ll come around trust me, tomorrow she’ll be up here and then you two can talk.” “What would I do without you brother.” Raiden gives Fujin a hug and they walk off as the wind picks up below on the beach. “UNCLE FUJIN NOT COOL!!” Yells Julissa as Fujin lets out a laugh with Raiden. “I have to bother her sometimes.” 

[knullanon]

black beetle won the fight yall

anyway heres that fic, sorry it doesn’t include him until the end, imma probably write a part 2, but only if yall want it lmao

warnings: homeless man being weird, underage drinking (reader does no drinking), kidnapping, running, lmk if there should be anything else!

words: 1715

“Jesus, _______, you don’t even have a public snapchat, what in the name of fuck makes you think that you’ll actually gain some followers on instagram?”

You rolled your eyes, and gave a small glare to your friend, who was sitting on your bed, scrolling through her phone. Currently it was almost 11 pm, and it was a miracle that Vanessa's parents were out on a weekend vacation. It was Friday night, and they had left her with you in the morning when you both had left for school. After that, well, it was chaos from there. You both had gone shopping, eating, and even got some… contraband from one of her friends. Currently, she was high as fuck sitting on your bed, and stating almost every opinion you were assuming she had hidden from you for your almost 2 year long friendship.

And it was not pretty.

“Seriously, you always bitch about that one chick, what's her name, Kathrine? You act like her opinion is the definition of your future. Like, who give a fuck if she thinks you’re too fat? You look like… fuck, what was I gonna say? I don’t remember.”

She was in the hyper and “paranoid” part of smoking weed a few minutes ago, but now that she's high and more relaxed, she's really let her bars down. It was kinda annoying you that she never mentioned to tell you this shit, but to be honest, you would’ve started crying if she said this shit in front of a bunch of people.

You mainly ignored her comments, most of them about your confidence issues and the fact that any opinion that was stated about you took 100% seriously. It hurt a little, hearing her say these things, but you reminded yourself that she's high, she doesn’t know what she's talking about, and it was a completely normal thing for people who were high to start spewing bullshit… probably. You’ve never seen her this high, but it was interesting to see her act like this.

One comment made you particularly mad, when she said, “You always act like there’s gonna be someone to save you, or something, like, this isn’t fanfiction, _______, this is real life, where people aren’t going to care about some girl with daddy issues. Just, really, accept it, your dads an ass, and hey, maybe if you’re lucky, one of those fictional characters who you like will come out of nowhere and give you whatever you want.”

You gave here a look and then asked, “Vanessa, you’re drunk. Let’s just- ugh, let's just get you home.”

 She didn’t object to you bringing her out the back of your porch (your neighbors were nosy) and you dragged her drunk ass through town, making sure to stay out of dark areas where people could grab you. Of course, there was no telling someone would actually do that, but you were still just a young girl: you couldn’t do jack shit against a 40 year old man.

Anyway, Vanessa was starting to regain her footing, and she was able to start walking n=by her own for the last 5 minutes. When you dropped her off, she insisted that she was able to walk by herself onto the steps and with that, you made sure she got inside her house, before you started walking back to your house.

Unfortunately, you had no idea that there were 2 people following you, both with completely different intentions.

~~~~

You ended up running when you saw the seemingly homeless man sprinting towards you. It was only a split second before you dodged his attack, where he would’ve had you in a neck hold, and you couldn’t have escaped: you were surprised that you even saw it in time.

However, you didn’t even try to feel the burning in your lungs, only the fear of what the man was going to do to you if he did catch you. You didn’t know where you were, going, you only followed your instinct. And it eventually led to you going down some weird alleway.

Which of course, you expected it to not work. It was long and dark as you turned but you didn’t have time to go back, he was right behind you, you could feel him. And then, almost halfway through the alleyway, you heard his shoes screech to a stop, and then him… gurgling? But when you turned around, you didn’t see anything, or anyone. Just one of his shoes. A singular, worn out shoe. You didn’t want to stay, oh no, you were getting the hell out of there and heading back home.

And while you sprinted out of the alleway, the second person who was following you was sitting on the top of the rooftop holding someone's dead body.

~~~~~

For the next few days, everything seemed like normal. Vanessa didn’t mention anything about the shit talking, she didn’t say shit about you walking her home either, and nothing about that weird homeless man and his weird bullshit. You felt relieved on the fourth day: nothing strange had happened, and you felt like something was slowly coming off your shoulders: nothing bad was going to happen, everything would continue as normal.

Right? 

You still had no evidence of anything happening, and Vanessa seemingly didn’t remember shit about the day, so you had to assume that it was just some weird dream: maybe you drank some beer with her and you ended up like this. You didn’t know if it really did happen, to be honest: you were doubting yourself. 

So, a week after the whole thing, you decided to head back to that weird alleway to see if there was anything that could help you. Putting on your most concealing outfit, just some sweatpants and a hoodie, you ventured out and started to wander around, wondering where the hell you went. Eventually you traced your steps, remembering little bits from the strange… night? Dream? You didn't know, which was also the reason why you were even here. Did that bullshit really happen?

You saw some evidence of you being there: a trash can that was still knocked over from the man, the man's little area he had set up to live, which was now taken over by another person, your pencil you had dropped trying to get away from him which was… in surprisingly good condition. You didn’t know why that gave you a feeling of dread when you recognized the alleyway: it looked like any other, but there was just… something off putting about it, even in the daytime. 

When you approached, you heard something rattle, like something metal had dropped. You rushed in, only to see just that, a trash can lid rattling on the ground, like someone was there. 

And along with it, that damn show that the man had left behind, this time, it was moved slightly. 

Ok, now this was weird. 

~~~~~

You didn’t like the feeling you got when you were walking back home. It was still bright out, many people out and about, happy and glowing in the sun.

You didn’t feel like that. You felt terrible. You felt like the sun was going to melt you with all of your layers of clothes, but you didn’t focus on that. You focused on the fact that yes, that night was real, and that it happened, and that that homeless man was gone and you had no idea where he could be. Of course, you didn’t care for a maniac like him, but it was the fact that he was gone that was bothering you. While on the way back home, you wondered what Vanessa would say about it, but you eventually decided against it. 

She would call you crazy and say that you were making it up for attention, for starters, and you would also have to explain why you were bringing her home, which would then have to have you explain why you wanted her out of the house. Not a situation you wanted to deal with. 

Anyway, as long as that weird man didn’t show up again, you would be fine. He couldn’t do anything to you anyway, right? He wasn’t even there! It had already been a week, what could he be doing?

Your fears were starting to calm down while you were making every excuse you could think of so that you wouldn’t have to worry about it. And then the part where he disappeared came into play. Sure, he had disappeared, but to where?

This made you think. Seriously, where had he gone? Where could he have gone? And why did it sound like someone was choking him when you turned around-

… Was there always a 7 foot tall man in your backyard? No, no there wasn’t. Quickly hiding, you tried to see what he was, but it was no use. He was really hidden, like you. Pulling out your phone, in case he actually saw you. Which you soon found out that yes, yes he did. 

You don’t know when he actually was able to get to you, but apparently, it was quick. You didn’t even hear him when he grabbed you by the back of your neck and pulled you up: almost like a kitten and their mother.

You looked up to see some weird armored figure. His armor was black, with little accents of grey here and there. He had two spikes on his back and he also didn’t have a nose. He looked… weird, a little, yes, but you were more worried about the bigass sword that had formed in his other hand. 

He stood taller (how?) before he asked, “Tell me, where are your parents?”

“Parents?”

“Yes, that’s what I asked.”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Well, are they in the house with you?”

“N-No, I don’t think so-”

“Great. Then you won’t need to worry about what’s about to happen.”

Before you could ask, he gave you a quick slap to the neck, and you felt something almost pinch your skin. You were going to scream, but nothing came out. Instead, you only fell into a pit of sleep, and you fell more and more, until you only heard wind rushing through your ears, before nothing more.

_______________

yall im tired af lol I should’ve answered more asks but im getting real slow and im sorry. ill try to get more requests out, im just getting overwhelmed by bullshit irl lol

[koba-baboba]

moony

a/n: hey look a new series because i got overhwhelmed by in the dark. this will be a self indulgent story so its ok if you dont like it. im trying a new writing style so let me know if its any good. this isnt really edited so read at your own risk. shout out to anyone who can figure out which part of this chapter i inserted after it was done.

chapter 1/? word count: 1628

warnings: none i think. a weeny bit of blood.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

towering trees and bright flowers are all i can see for miles, it was the most beautiful thing ever. mother held my hand, swinging it as we walked along the dimly lit dirt path. "happy birthday my love! how does it feel to be 6 hm?" mothers words are soft and full of love as she looks down at me fondly. "not much differnt, i think im taller maybe?" i screw my face up trying to think if i felt taller or not, i *felt* taller. mother laughed heartly as she looked around us. "youre almost past my hip now! youve definitely gotten taller." mother cooed still looking happily at me. i smiled, i *am* almost past her hip now! i swung her hand even more as we contiuned on our walk. "dad doesnt like to go on these walks does he?" i questioned, looking up at mother. "he doesnt like to get his fancy shoes dirty, Alexander has always been that way" she reasured me softly. the bush in front of us rustled, mother excitedly pulled me down to crouch so we didnt scare the critter moving towards us. i wiggled excitedly, hoping it would be a bunny. "stay still. maybe its a deer" mother whispers into my ear. the rustling get louder before a dirty tired looking man stumbles out. mother pulled me up harshly and hid me behind her. i tried to peek out at the man but she shoved me behind her again. i suddenly remebered what day it was, the full moon. i clutched to mothers shirt as she put a hand on my shoulder.

"can i help you sir? you look ill" mothers voice is shakey but firm. "now that you ask... i do need help"

im on my back on the floor, its uncomfortable and bumpy. my hands are wet and warm, it feels gross and sticky.i raise my hands to my face, theyre red? i turn my head to see if mother knows whats happening and... the man is on top of her, his teeth digging into her neck. shes screaming, crying, "m-mom?"

"mom?" i whisper but im not in that forest anymore, im on my bed in my room. i look around my room, at the posters and drawings on my wall that i made myself, at my trunk and bag near my door. it takes me a second to register the knocking at my door. "andi we need to go" a sandy haired man says softly as he pushes through my door. its just remus, im safe. i push myself up to sit on the edge of my bed and run my hand through my messy curls. "are you alright sweetheart?" remus- dad, asks me softly. "nightmare" i mumbled sleepily. he sighs and sits down next to me. he rubs circles against my back. "its always worse after the full moon, give yourself some patient love" dad said softly, he knew i wouldnt actually give myself time to bounce back. it was frustrating to admit i needed time to heal, i didnt like admitting i was differnt. dad sighed and kissed my forehead gently "get dressed, you can eat at the weasleys, molly will have plenty of food for you"

i pull my t-shirt and worn jeans on and try desperatley to make my hair less of a mess. i dragged my trunk downstairs towards dad who was waiting patiently at the door. "ready? molly will have some ointments for you when you get there."

"i double checked this time" i chuckle, more than once ive forgotten something important, my school supplies werent exactly cheap so that wasnt exaclty ideal. dad chuckled and looped his arm through mine and, with a loud pop, we landed at the burrow. my second home! i live here as often as i do at dads house. it was the most brilliant house ive ever been too.

the door flew open and two lanky twins came flying towards me. fred and george collided with me, hugging me tightly. i giggled squeezing them tightly. Remus put his hand on my shoulder “I’ll see you at the train station, be safe” and with a pop he was gone.

“He never comes inside” a sweet voice came from the doorway. A plump woman was looking fondly at the three teens. She opened her arms wide, beckoning me forward. i smiled and wrapped my arms around molly. “Hello dear” she cooed into my hair. Molly pulled back and looked me over, cupping my face and turned it side to side, examining the new cuts and bruises i donned. She hummed

“Ginny! Ron! Come here!” Molly shouted as she pulled me inside, the twins following.

“She’s going to coddle you” Fred whispered into my ear with a little chuckle. i rolled my eyes as i followed molly into the kitchen where Ron and Ginny had just rushed in.

“Andi!” Ginny bounded towards me wrapping her arms around me and hugged me like it had been years since the last time she had seen me. Ginny had always looked up to me like an older sister ever since she could speak. i hoisted Ginny up and into my arms spinning her around. god i loved the weasleys, every one of them, including percy.

“I’m a little offended you didn’t do that for us” George huffed feigning hurt.

“Yeah come on andi, I thought we were your favourite” Fred added, mimicking his twin.

“Now when did I say that boys” i teased as i plopped Ginny back on the floor. The twins rolled their eyes before throwing their arms over my shoulders. the twins did this to me so often, we were always joined at the hip in some way.

“I dunno I just have a sneaking suspicion that you like us” the boys said in unison. i snickered and gave Ron a happy “hello”

“Now now boys don’t be too rough on her” molly scolded shooing the twins off of me. i sighed, Molly always had a tendency to treat me like i was fragile. “Oh come on mum it’s not like we’re throwing her around” Fred whined. “We could if you wanted” George whispered. The trio had learned early on that the best way to annoy the younger groups was to mock flirt with each other. After awhile it became an inside joke that the three found hilarious. Much to everyone’s dismay.

“Come on andi let me clean you up” Molly’s words are sweet but insistent. i know better than to argue with molly over this stuff. Molly is a excellent healer and it would be stupid to deny her help. i looked over at the twins who are grinning ear to ear, they did warn me i suppose. i rolled my eyes once more before following molly to the living room. i sit down on the sofa the twins and i often crowd. It was far too small for three lanky teens. Molly began rustling in a little bag near a bookshelf. She was humming a song and shaking to a tune only she could hear. Ah ha! Molly exclaimed as she pulled out a little jar full of white paste.

“This will help it heal a little faster, it won’t keep it from scarring unfortunately” molly starts excitedly before mumbling off the last part. i knew this, magic was wonderful but it couldn’t prevent scarring in most situations. i had more scars than i cared to count. Molly cupped my face as she smeared the paste over my wounds, i winced slightly. no matter if it had numbing ingriedents or not, this part always hurt

“I know it hurts, just breathe” molly humed. “Do you have anymore?” Molly questions looking me over. “You know the answer to that question” i chuckled dryly as i stood pulling my shirt up with me. Revealing a bandage stretching across my stomach.

Molly sighed, she hated seeing her kids hurt, not that Andi was her kid but it certainly felt like it. Molly peeled the bandage off slowly trying desperately to keep it from hurting too much.

i shuddered biting back tears as i felt the bandage pull healed skin with it.

The twins were watching from the doorway as molly tended to Andi. They knew what Andi looked like after full moons but they never got used to the gashes and bruises she dawned afterwards. Fred turned away, he felt sick to his stomach, he loved Andi, he wished he could take this from her. She didn’t deserve it.

Molly patched andi's stomach up once more and pulled her shirt down over it.

“Put this on your face twice a day and I’ll help you with your back until you go to school then then ask one of your friends to help” molly instructed waving her finger at me to enunciate her words.

“Yes ma’am” i mock soluted, i knew how much that annoyed her. i turned towards the door way and gave George a lopsided grin and peeked past him at Fred who was leaning against a counter.

“Want to show me what your letters talked about?” i said my tone dripping with mischief. The twins faces lit up as they grabbed my hands and dragged me up the stairs, giggling like kids the whole way to their room.

“What are you three planning??” Molly shouted up the stairs. She knew those three were troublemakers at heart. They had been since they met when they were 7. Remus needed help with Andi after a rough full moon and the rest is history. The three of them managed to turn rons teddy bear into a spider once.

[hazelolive]

So I comissioned @anjchan8 to draw my ocs and I orginally was going to make it into like a devilgram with a short cute fluffy story added to it but! I thought of a way to include it to Kera and Damien’s main story. I absolutely love how it came out and feel it displays exactly how Both Kera And Damien feel at the end of this part of there story. (plus there so pretty like looooooook at em ^_^)

It had been 2 days since Kera had seen Damien and she was growing worried. Sure she was shocked to find out that he wasnt human like her but after that talk she had with mammon she had started to calm down about it. She was still a tiny bit annoyed that he didnt tell her because younger her probably wouldve found it awesome, but slightly more understanding now that there probably was a reason behind him keeping it secret.

She however was worried about her friend. She hadnt seen him in 2 days and any time she asked lucifer were he was hed say something stupid like. That doesnt matter, or kera im busy, please leave my study. Mammon didnt know where he was either. Which made sense because he left to follow her and She hadnt been able to get ahold of Diavolo.

So she was here worrying about the state of her friend and how it must of looked with her just walking out upset and almost crying after he acidently revealed his big secret to her. She had checked the addict twice and even cast a detect magic spell shed learned from Simon just to make sure lulu didnt pull any of his old tricks that he did with Belphy.

But she couldnt find him. She had searched the house of lamentation top to bottom while bothering Luci on mutiple ocassions. But he just wasnt here. She had been pacing the floor for 2 hours now and she was tired of waiting. She grabbed her ddd and decided she was going to storm diavolos castle if she must.

It was a little weird heading to the castle without any of the brothers with her to act as a guide. But luckily she didnt run into any trouble. She entered through the grand doors. She had gotten this but there was a sense of now what? This was a big castle with many rooms probably some of them hidden or off limits she she shouldnt just go exploring.

She decided that she might as well look for diavolo she was about to start her search when she ran into someone. She looked up after letting out a audible umph and saw she had ran straight into barbattos.

"You should be more careful Kera. Wouldnt want you to hurt yourself now would you?"

"Barb! Im sorry about that. I didnt mean to run face first into your chest."

"Its fine im just glad you didnt run into anything less forgiving, like a stone pillar for instance." He said knocking on the one behind him.

She gave off a little nervous laugh. Well this was embarrassing.

"What do we owe the pleasure of this unexspected visit?"

"I need to speak to diavolo. Theres someone im trying to find."

"Aw do you mean your little friend?"

She looked up surprised for a second.

"How did you- wait I shouldnt ask of course you would know."

He just gave off a little amused laugh.

"Right this way."

Kera tentively followed barbatoss, down a few hallways, and a long corridor till he opened the door to a room and on the other side damien sat. horns still on display but he seemed to be in a fresh pair of clothes.

She was relieved to see him and he didnt seem any worse for wear

"Damien! Your alright! Thank goodness." Kera said throwing her arms around him.

"You say that as if you exspected us to harm him." Barbattos said with a small laugh.

"Well not you but I know luci was in the room when I left and I know how he can get. Plus he refused to tell me anything concerning him after the fact. "

"Well I can asure you lucifer or luci as you like to call him was only able to give him a good tongue thrashing. Diavolo made sure of that."

"Can you give him my thanks."

"It would be my pleasure but im sure he'd love to hear from you."

"Alright and Lucifer probably wont admit it himself but he may have been annoyed because of all the paperwork he had to help fill out concerning Damiens sudden Arrival."

"Oh! Is that why he wasnt around for 2 days?"

"Yes, we had to ask him all sorts of questions, like who was he, where did he live before, how did he get here, Where he will be living now, etc. But we finished up all the paperwork this morning and gave him his own ddd so he should be free to go."

"Thank you so much Barbattos. Im sorry you guys had to go through so much trouble."

"It was no trouble at all but im sure you two have plenty to catch up on so ill excuse myself for now." He said giving a slight bow and leaving the room.

As soon as she left she found herself drifting back over towards damien.

"So I see you got yourself a nice new pair of clothes."

He didnt say anything just kept her back to her.

"Damien?"

No response.

She began to worry. Was he mad at her?

She put her hand on his shoulder and he turned further away almost violently.

She was confused but then she heard the tiniest of sniffles. Oh no. She leaned over him to see he was crying.

"Damien! Whats wrong!" She started to panic. He looked fine before but now he was crying and she wasmt sure why.

"Dont Look at me! I cant get them to go away when im like this."

"What are you talking about? Are you talking about your horns-"

"I cant pretend to be human. To be like you when im like this."

"Hey, hey, hey you dont have to pretend to be anything!" She said running around so he could she her.

She looked up and saw him open his tear stained eyes.

"But you said. Your were so upset when you found out what I was. And I was so worried and tired after searching that I didnt have the energy to hide it."

"Hey Listen here." She said as she gently grabbed his face and wiped away some of the tears that had just fallen from his eyes. "I dont care if your a demon. You could be a demon, a human, and angel it doesnt matter to me."

"But you said-"

"Im not done. You could be any of those and it wouldnt change my opinion of you. I was upset and shocked because you never told me and it felt like you didnt trust me or care enough about me to let you in on a big factor of your life."

"It has nothing to do with that! Of course I trust and care about you. I was afraid you hate me that you'd call me a monster and never want to see me again."

"I could never serriously hate you! I love you to much to ever hate you!"

Kera visibly stiffened. What had she just said!?

"You love me?" He said as his last few tears fell.

"No......."

"You love me." He started to smile. "You actually love me."

"Shut up I dont."

"You said it you cant take it back now."

"I said I loved you not that I was in love with you."

"You love me."

"How many times are you going to say that." She started to pout she was embarrassed enough as it was. She didnt mean to say it in the first place it just sort of slipped out. She was glad he stopped crying and was happy now but now she just kind of wanted to hide.

It was her turn to hide her face as he tried to peek around at her blush. He tried seeing her face but every time shed turn some so he was only able to catch glimpses. Well if she was going to be like that.

Without a second thought he scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder. He was just really happy now. He was basically over the moon. He could feel the wicked grin start to spread across his face and was glad that Kera was over his shoulder because she probably would've smacked him for it.

"What do you think your doing!"

"Gee I wonder."

"Put me down!"

"I don't think I will not for a while anyway."

"Do you even know where your going!?"

"Nope."

@butter-beel @anjchan8

[you-did-well-moon]

The Warmth Provided (3)

Type: Fluff, Angst, Crack, College Au, Friends to lovers Au

A/N: Aaand the third and final part is here yayyyy. Did you guys enjoy this mini series?? I really hope you did. Small disclaimer, not all requests I receive will be as big as this! It’s not a real fic if Jackson isn’t in it (i’m kidding) but dang Sungjin really went for it. As my friend Bun said, someone bring a mop bc we need to clean up the mess Sungjin made. Don’t be afraid to talk to me!!

TW: Awkward situations, cussing, toxicity and unrealistic depiction of Sungjin

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

You got to sleep in since it was a Saturday, and you had no classes on Saturdays. You woke up a little past noon feeling as energized as you had in a while. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel tired even upon just having woken up. There was no soreness or exhaustion plaguing you. Just placidity in the wake of starting the day and anticipation for what the day bought you.

With the weekend, you finally had time to actually make yourself breakfast instead of eating cereal or nothing at all. You cooked yourself something simple with  eggs, bacon, and a pancake since you very well deserved it. You hummed happily to yourself having turned on the Tv for some background noise which paired with the sizzling of the pan on the stove and the sun’s light filtered through the curtains in front of the window. 

You ate your breakfast calmly scrolling through the social media apps on your phone not at all in a hurry since the party didn’t start until 8. Even if you didn’t feel as tired as you did other days, it still felt good to stay at home comfortable and wrapped up in your favorite blankets catching up on your favorite show. You weren’t running all around campus and town trying to balance your school and personal life. 

You eventually got in the shower staying under the warm water for longer than you had to enjoying it as the tension left your body relaxing when the drops of water traveled down the slopes of your body. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about what you would say to Sungjin once you got there. Demand for him to tell you why he was acting so weird? Ease into it? Guilt him into it? You groaned squeezing the shampoo out of your hair and reaching for a towel. Having Jae there would probably distract you. No matter what, you had to avoid Jae as much as you could.

Even if he was the one that invited you, you needed to fix whatever was burdening your friendship with Sungjin. You could deal with your lovesick self later. When your brother wasn’t acting like such a stranger. An annoying stranger at that. 

You stayed in your towel drying yourself off and rubbing lotion on your body. You cleaned your face letting your cleanser dry off before beginning to apply your makeup on. You went for a very light look. You were never one for heavy makeup. You did get a little creative with the eyeshadow, but you didn’t want to mess with the rest of your face afraid of smudging something. 

You didn’t really do anything special to your hair. Letting the soft strands down and making it look nice enough for a party. You started getting ready a bit early since you knew you’d get stuck when it came to picking an outfit. Standing there with your closet door open in a towel with your hair and makeup done, you bit your lip cursing yourself for not going shopping earlier in the month. 

Eventually you picked some leather high waisted leather shorts, a very short crop top you would never go near your father or mother with, and fishnets with black combat boots to finish the look. Looking outside your window at the trees slightly swaying you knew you’d get cold. Looking around your room you saw Jae’s jean jacket hanging off your chair. 

You stared at it for what felt like an eternity hesitation pooling in your stomach, but you eventually aggressively shrugged it on, figuring you could give it back to Jae and stick it out if you got too cold. Checking the time, and you realized you had half an hour before the party started.

Shrugging your shoulders you dug through your jewelry for what might go with your look not really caring if you got there on time. You couldn’t shake off the fantasy that maybe, just maybe Jae  was waiting for you. You smacked your forehead. Today you had to focus on Sungjin before things were damaged to an extent that you could not fix. 

You treasured your best friend too much to let things go that far. The JYP frat wasn’t that far from your apartment. It was around a twelve minute walk. Making sure you had pepper spray in your purse you set right off feeling your phone buzz in your pocket just as you locked your door. 

Bawk Bawk: You didn’t get kidnapped did you?

You: we’re gonna need at least 50k to give her back

Bawk Bawk: Haha very funny

Bawk Bawk: the real y/n would say shes worth 100 chicken nuggets

You : lol you got me there 

You: im already on my way. I need to pay attention to where im walking or else im gonna end up on the opposite side of campus in the sm frat

Bawk Bawk: oh no what a tragedy. Ill miss you asking me where the food is every five seconds. Really how sad.

You: wow Baekhyun wouldn’t treat me like this.

You didn’t get to see his answer instead opening up another contact.

You: Hey Sung, im on my way to the party

Bob: ok

You stared at the little text bubble a little hurt at the indifference, but you had to remind yourself that it was just a text message. Maybe he was busy helping out with the party, even if he really didn’t like the parties, he still helped out. He was just that kind of person. 

A small part of you knew that wasn’t the reason.The party had started around 30 minutes ago which meant they were past the point of setting up for the event. You were about to turn off the device when the sound of a notification broke through the silence surrounding you. 

You felt the weight on your heart slight ease up, a relieved but bittersweet smile breaking on the slope of your mouth. 

Bob: Be careful

Even if he was irked with you for whatever reason, he still worried for you. The short text message gave you hope. It was silly, but the two words were enough to bring a little bounce in your step, deciding that as soon as you got to that party you would seek him out, and you would do whatever you could to get to the bottom of what had put distance between you and your best friend. 

You halted your stride finally standing in front of the JYP frat building. You took a deep breath shaking off the nerves and tugging the jacket tighter around you. You went up the steps knees slightly shaking. Sungjin’s message did bring some ease, but the guy could be stubborn when he wanted to. You just hoped he wasn’t stubborn when it came to your friendship. Pursing your lips you shakily pressed the button to the doorbell.

It didn’t take much for the door to swing open startling you and almost making you fall back. A hand reached out to steady you, and you looked up meeting Wonpil’s warm eyes. You smiled easily consoled by his sweet smile missing the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. 

“Wonpil hi, how are you?” He softly laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m pretty sure i’m not supposed to hear colors, but i’ll get through it”

You opened your mouth cackling in disbelief as his hands probed you inside. 

“Have fun, break something and you’ll pay for it and- Jackson! What did I tell you about hanging from the ceiling lights what kind of budget do you think we have man,'' you watched the small man’s frame ambling away and squinted your eyes in amusement, smiling softly. You turned to the rest of the room craning your head to look past all the swaying bodies and flashing lights for the awkward introverted man that was one of your closest friends.

Instead you caught sight of the tall fluffy haired man with glasses sliding down the bend of his narrow nose. You squeaked quickly ducking behind the frame of a stranger as Jae’s head whipped in your direction. You clenched your jaw at the almost slip up. You frowned. You wanted nothing more than to bound up to Jae and see his eyes light up at the sight of you, but you were on a mission. 

You made sure you were out of Jae’s sight as you wracked your brain for where Sungjin might be. He wouldn’t be in where the crowd was bigger and packed. That immediately eliminated the living room, gaming room, and kitchen. That left outside in the patio, the restroom, or his own room. You bit your lip figuring you might as well check outside then head upstairs where both the restroom and his room were. You knew because of the many movie nights you had with Dowoon and Sungjin. 

The many nights of fighting with Sungjin and him scolding you for getting crumbs on his bed only to whine when you moved to Dowoon’s bed. At the end, you always ended up on the floor in a tangled mess probably getting woken up by Dowoon snoring. You set your shoulders making your way to the kitchen since that’s where the doors to get outside were located mumbling apologies to people you bumped into.

You kept your head low mumbling under your breath about how stupid this was that you even had to do this, because for some reason, Sungjin was acting odd and detached. You entered the kitchen eyes raking over everyone's faces just in case Sungjin was there. You didn’t see him, but you saw the other part from your trio. Dowoon was talking to Bang Chan with a relaxed smile on his face and a drink in his hands.

Maybe he knew where Sungjin was saving you the trouble of looking for him. You started walking in his direction, “Hey Woon,  I wish I could stay and talk, but do you know where Sungjin is?” Dowoon narrowed his eyes at you, as you smiled in greeting at Chan. 

“Not even a hi wow, i thought you were better than this. I thought we had a special bond” he clicked his tongue acting annoyed but still reaching out to you pulling you into him for a side hug. You huffed poking harshly at his side, snickering when he whined and recoiled. 

“Fine you brat, he just went upstairs to get something from his room. Here, I'll come with you. I need to go to the restroom anyways. Sorry to cut this short, but i have to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid” he put his drink on the kitchen island, and you and Chan looked at each other shaking your heads both knowing who was making sure who didn’t do something stupid. You shrugged your shoulders wincing as Chan’s shoulders shook slightly with laughter. 

You swiveled around to follow Dowoon who had already begun walking towards the stairs near the entrance of the kitchen when you abruptly came to a stop. Heading down the steps was the exact person you were looking for. Even in the shifting lighting you recognized him.

You called your best friend’s name already striding towards him and reaching out towards his frozen frame. He looked shocked to see you, his eyes troubled and eyebrows pulled together looking distressed. His body shifted back as if he was contemplating running back up the stairs.

Your hand managed to grasp the end of his shirt. “Sungjin-” you were interrupted by a wobbly yell from the living room. “Seven minutes in heaven time ladies and gents. Don’t be shy, half of you won’t even remember this ever happened,” the awfully cheerful voice that sounded suspiciously like Younghyun  somehow managed to be louder than the talking and blaring music.

You turned back to Sungjin but both of you were suddenly being pulled to the living room by Dowoon who simply said “This should be funny. Let’s go watch” you tried resisting and talking to Sungjin but he was also too busy trying to fight Dowoon’s hold on him. 

You were sat down on one side of the circle in between Dowoon and Sungjin. It all happened so fast you looked at Sungjin and tried getting his attention but was stopped by someone looking at you from the corner of your eye. 

You swallowed feeling your heart sink slightly being able to distinguish Jae’s form even from your limited sight. You slowly turned your head in his direction offering him a quivering smile wondering just how everything had managed to get messed up in such a short amount of time. He titled his head obviously confused at why you hadn’t told him you had arrived but still managed to grin back at you causing you to feel slightly bad. 

Even after the small greeting, his gaze didn’t leave you, but you were the one to break eye contact first turning to the man on your right. You gently grabbed his arm pulling at his sleeve to get his attention. He gradually turned his head to look at you, sad dull eyes looking into yours. 

“I need to talk-” you were once again interrupted by Younghyun’s voice calling the turn of the first player. 

Jae.

You felt yourself halt all movement, air leaving your lungs. You whipped your head around in his direction watching him roll his eyes at Wonpil’s light teasing. You could only focus on Jae as he slightly leaned to get closer to the bottle reaching out for it with a focused expression. 

His eyes briefly flickered to your wide ones before going back to the bottle hesitating slightly before spinning it. You had completely forgotten about Sungjin who was also watching the bottle spin with baited breath gaze landing on your form to take in your reactions.

Your heart skipped a beat everytime the bottle pointed it’s devilish finger at you while on the move. Of course, you wanted it to be you, but there was so many people in the circle the chance of the stupid bottle landing on you was close to none. Suddenly Younghyun pushed Wonpil into the circle making the smaller man stumble and put his foot in the bottle’s path while trying to regain his balance. 

Wonpil’s interference made the bottle come to an abrupt stop pointing solely at one person. 

You. 

You felt your entire body go cold taking in a shaky breath and meeting Jae’s own wide eyes behind the rims of his glasses. You felt your face grow hot seeing Wonpil and Younghyun high fiving each other in the background. You wanted to laugh at the clicheness of it. It seemed everybody had known you and Jae were in love before you and Jae. 

You looked at Dowoon and Sungjin unsure of your next actions. Dowoon simply smirked at you wiggling his eyebrows and giggling under his breath while Sungjin’s face became hard to read eyes flashing with unknown emotions. So much for the help of your best friends.

You heard a clearing of a throat gaining your attention and making you jump at seeing Jae had already stood up brushing himself off. He playfully smiled at you shaking the messy blonde hair out of his shining eyes and holding a unsteady hand out to you.

You slowly stood up on trembling knees not being able to concentrate on the shouting from the people in the circle. Your vision felt hazy not really being able to believe what was happening. You put a hesitant hand on his, feeling his hand wrap around yours warmth instantly seeping in from his touch traveling up your arm through your whole body. 

You couldn’t lie to yourself. You were terrified of what would happen in that closet. What if he just told you he didn’t want anything of that sort to do with you and you had to sit in awkward silence for several more minutes holding in your tears and rejected by the very person you had fallen in love with at a dumb party game. 

He took in the fear and worry swimming in your eyes gripping your hand tighter. His head tilted, smiling softly at you and opening his mouth to say something, but his words were robbed from his throat when his eyes took in something behind you. You felt your hand get taken in an uncomfortably tight grip, the hand tugging you backwards making your hand slip from Jae’s loose warm one. 

You swiveled around getting met with the sight of your best friend. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw was set.

“You can’t play this stupid game with her. You won’t be taking her into that closet, not while i’m here” his tone was bitter and harsh. You tried shaking your hand out of his grip, but his clutch on you grew tighter making you cry out and start slapping your hands on Sungjin’s chest. 

Jae instantly reached out for your thrashing figure only for Sungjin to pull you out of his reach. Jae scoffed anger staining his once bright brown eyes a darker shade. “Sungjin, what do you think you’re doing man. Let her go before and we can solve whatever is going on without throwing her around like this. Who are you to-”

Sungjin cut him off with a growl. 

“Her boyfriend” 

You felt an icy feeling expand from your core to your fingertips having stopped moving in Sungjin’s hold. “What the hell Sungjin what are you talking about you asshole-” you turned around and seeing the look on Jae’s face you trashed around harder having to slap at Sungjin’s hands to break free of his clasp. 

His eyes went from Sungjin’s guilty face to your own angry confused one. The crease between his eyebrows deepened, mouth letting out a disbelieving exhale and shoulders slumping in disappointment. He started backing away shaking his head and looking at you in a way he had never looked at you. 

In anger.

You tried reaching out towards him voice shaky when you called out to him. “Jae no, you have to listen to me I have no idea-” the rest of your words didn’t get to reach him, Wonpil and Younghyun both blocking you from getting any closer to his retreating figure. Both looked at you with cold expressions and you remembered other people had also just witnessed you going into an intimate space with a man when you already had a supposed boyfriend. 

You felt embarrassment and shame flood your chest twisting uglily around your lungs and squeezing. Now you were only aware of the whispers and glares circling around your lone figure. You swiftly turned around to face Sunjin, head bent not being able to meet your heated gaze. 

You briefly looked at Dowoon who was as equally shocked as you were. 

You hissed Sungjin’s name huffing when he still didn’t look up tightly wrapping your arm around his wrist and dragging him up the stairs to his room blinking away the tears from the sheer humiliation coursing through your system. 

Sungjin tried sputtering out your name, but you paid no attention not stopping in your stride until you reached his room on the second floor and pushed his body out into the balcony connected to his room. 

You instantly exploded, voices coming out in rapid angry waves. 

“What the fuck was that Sungjin what did you just- Do you know what you just did” your voice was desperate frustrated tears making your eyes watery. 

“I’m so sorry-”

“No! No Sungjin, you don’t get to apologize until i know what you’re apologizing for” you set your teary eyes on Sungjin who finally looked up, for once, face open and  flooded with guilt and regret. 

“I panicked, and I know there is no excuse for what i just did, i just- I don’t know these past few days…”

You let out a thwarted groan. “That’s exactly the problem idiot, I have no idea what’s been going on with you these past few days. You never told me anything”

He closed his eyes as if physically pained turning around to lean on the railing of the balcony and burying his head in his hands. You also felt all energy seep out of your body, slumping dejectedly next to him. You looked at him resting your arms on your arms which were resting on the railing. 

“Please tell me, what made my best friend and brother suddenly claim he’s my boyfriend right in front of my crush of years” 

You saw his facial expressions twist in a wince, finally taking in the consequences of his panicked words. 

He looked at you, mouth pulling into a guilty smile. 

“Your brother fucked up pretty bad didn’t he peaches?” You nodded at him. 

“Why Sungjin, why did you do that?”

He looked up at the sky taking in the ugly clouds blocking the stars. You simply looked at your hands, sadness making your limbs feel heavy. 

“I felt like I was losing you, that’s why” You pouted in confusion. “Why would you ever think that? You know I depend on you a lot Sungjin, this doesn’t-” you stopped at his defeated sigh. 

“It has always been you, Dowoon, and I, but out of nowhere you started hanging out with Jae. I don’t know why, but i felt threatened by that. I mean, you even lied to me about where you really were when you hung out with him at that noodle place” 

Your jaw dropped. “How did you-”

“I saw you guys on my way to buy Dowoon a new game controller” he chuckled and shrugged. “I didn’t say anything. It’s not my place to, but then I found out he liked you too, and to me, the chances of you completely forgetting about me for him skyrocketed” Your knees buckled and you had to grip the railing to remain standing as you gasped and sputtered. “He what-”

Sungjin paid you no attention simply nodding like the fact the person you had feelings for returning said feelings was no big deal. You whined and stomped  your feet because what did it matter now. Any chance with him was blown. Sungjin continued. 

“You wouldn’t need me anymore if you had him. You wouldn’t need your big brother anymore if you had him. You would forget all about me. I mean, why wouldn’t you? You’ve liked him for so long, and i’m just...me” 

You inhaled a large breath, hand resting on your fast beating heart at all the newfound information. “Can I talk now?” He waved his hand in a way that said “go on”.

“First of all Sungjin, you’re the one who’s always told me to come out of my shell and to talk to more people. Ever since high school, you’ve been telling me to spread out and get more friends. Why are you being like this when I actually did what you said and started talking to others. Will you behave this way every time I grow close to someone else? It was wrong of you to tell me something and act this way when I listened to your advice. It was especially wrong of you to just stand there and declare you’re my boyfriend, you had no right to do that” He hung his head seeing the truth in my words. “Well?”

He set his mouth in a straight line nodding. “I- You’re right, you’re completely right. How could I be such a hypocrite” He scoffed at himself chuckling lowly at his own stupidity. “I guess I just got scared.”

You narrowed your eyes at him still not being able to believe he would actually think you would up and leave him. “There comes my second point. Sungjin, how could you ever believe I would just forget you. Do you doubt me that much?  Doubt our friendship that much? Our friendship of literal years” 

He stayed silent. “Do you hear how stupid it is now?” He nodded his head once hands fiddling nervously. 

“You are someone I value very much, but that doesn't mean you’ll be the only person to hold so much importance to me. It doesn’t put you in any position to be able to act like you own all my attention and friendship.” He once again nodded silently guilt swimming in his irises. 

“I was in the wrong and for that I’m sorry peaches. I realize now that you will continue to grow and gain new people who you will bond with. You will get hurt, but that’s not something I can control nor that I can stop and unfortunately, neither can you. I can only be there to bring a smile back on your face, and i’m perfectly fine with that” he acknowledged, the corners of his lips slightly pulling up in a melancholy smile.

You felt all tension leave your body finally feeling like you had your brother back. The same one you had always confided on. You no longer felt like the air around you was pressing in on you, slowly stealing the remaining oxygen from your lungs. 

He turned towards you and looked up before looking at you and opening his arms. “I’m sorry.” You didn’t really hesitate stepping into his embrace. “I’m still mad at you” you grumbled into his chest. “I know peaches, I understand. It’s okay” He laughed softly against your hair. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise. I’ll be better” You believed, of course you did. He was your brother, your closest friend. An irreplaceable part of your life who had made a little slip up, well maybe a big slip up, but you still forgave him. 

“We should have done this a long time ago” you muttered against his jacket. 

“What?” he questioned. “Talked. So much could have been avoided if we had just talked” Sungjin hummed in reply both of you knowing you each had some fault in that.  

You remembered Jae’s disappointed stare, his lips pressed together in a tight line as he got farther and farther away from you. You played with one of the threads from the jean jacket you were wearing feeling helpless in the answer of what to do to gain Jae’s forgiveness. At this point, you didn’t think there was a chance of being anything more than friends with him. You didn’t feel like you deserved him just wanting to explain to him that what happened wasn’t his fault. 

You just wanted him to smile again. You wanted him to be happy. You would feel lucky just being his friend again. You expected nothing more if you were honest with yourself. 

You lightly hit Sungjin’s shoulder exaggeratedly groaning. “How am I gonna explain this to Jae” your voice was muffled by his jacket but he simply laughed again, “I don’t think you have to”

“What are you talking about you-” Shock hit you like a truck when you remembered him looking up while he was apologizing. Something told you he wasn’t just apologizing to you. You looked up at the balcony above the one you were standing on seeing a head of fluffy blonde hair blown all over the place from the wind and a grin aimed at you. 

“Jae! Did you- Did you hear everything?” You couldn’t help but to smile at the loud laugh that rang throughout the night air. “I don’t know, why don’t you come up and find out?” You breathlessly looked at Sungjin who smiled softly at you pushing you back into his room. 

You didn’t look back as you exited his room walking back up the stairs with a trembling but hopeful heart. You came across what you knew was Jae’s room after having to drag him to it from when he got a really bad stomach ache. You knocked on the door mentally preparing yourself for whatever you were about to hear.

A soft stifled “come in” was heard from inside the room. You opened the door, eyes immediately landing on the figure that was on the balcony leaning on the railing and looking up at the sky. You walked towards the balcony, your breath rattling in your throat. You opened the door that led out to the balcony shakily calling his name. 

He stayed silent as you came up next to him, also tilting your head up and getting taken aback by the twinkling stars appearing at the parting of the clouds. The quiet preserved, and your mind was only really able to focus on his arm brushing against yours and your heart pounding in your ears. You fiddled with your hands picking at your nails jumping at the sound of Jae suddenly laughing. 

“A few minutes ago I thought I was the stupidest man on earth” You didn’t really know what to say in reply to that just turning your head to look at him as a sign you were listening. 

“I mean imagine the feeling of finding out you had been writing cheesy love songs about a person only to find out they were with someone else the whole time” you opened your mouth to retaliate, but he turned his head to look at you with a soft knowing smile. “I know, I know now, you’re just friends” He turned to look back at the night sky, the smile still not leaving his face. 

You were still shocked at the fact that some of the songs you had seen him diligently working on next to you in class could have been about you. Words of love and admiration from him written right next to you, and you were none the wiser. 

You felt like all the words you could say in that moment, just weren’t enough. Instead, you reached out to fix his glasses which had gone askew only to gasp silently when he grabbed your wrist looking at you once more. “You know, there were times where I felt lesser than him. He had known you since you were around the height of my knee, and had grown up with you. Who was I to him” He admitted wearily smiling at you. 

You leaned in slightly letting your hand move to firmly grip his maintaining eye contact as you got ready to speak. “You? You are Jae Park. The stupid, goofy, lovely, hard-working song writer who has never failed to make me happy and take care of me. Who always bought me food thinking of me, and who never hesitated to be self-less at the expense of myself.” You faltered, licking your lips anxiously for what you were about to say feeling your whole body grow hot. 

“You are Jae Park, the person I'm hopelessly in love with,” you confessed breathily watching him lean closer to you, lips pressing to your forehead while he laughed happily against your skin, hands traveling up your arms to gently cradle your face.

 “What were we doing all this time? I guess the starbursts really did a number of us if we’re both so in love with each other and didn’t notice” he murmured lips traveling down the space between your eyebrows to the slope of your nose forehead now resting against yours. His glasses were pressing uncomfortably against the bridge of your nose, but you didn’t really mind too caught up in the feeling of his body pressed against your as your hands moved to clutch at his shirt. 

We’re together now” you whispered lips slightly brushing against his. He smiled adoringly at you before leaning in to close the gap lips softly slanting his lips against yours as if testing the waters before growing more eager and tilting his head to grow impossibly closer to you still softly parting your mouth with his. The kiss remained soft and innocent, unspoken words after months of pining, and delicate confessions of love expressed. The warmth from one simple kiss traveled all the way to your heels spreading in a tender but passionate manner. 

You separated, catching your breath, his hands still cradling your face before he leaned in stealing a peck and chuckling when he pulled back. 

The wind grew stronger whipping at your hair and clothes making a small shiver travel down the spine and forcing you to snuggle his jacket tighter around you clearing your throat and smiling like an idiot. One of his hands left your face to tickle you, smile getting bigger at your loud laugh.

“Nice Jacket”

“Thanks, I wanted to give it back to it’s handsome owner” He bought you closer wrapping his arms around your form, hair tickling your temple and his nose pressing into the crook of your neck.

“The handsome owner thinks you look 100 times better in it than he ever did, Kim Kardashian could never” 

You laughed into his shoulder thinking you would be fine without the jacket believing the warmth provided from his simple touch was enough to keep you warm in the coldest of nights.

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts

A chaotic summary of my feelings/ reactions of each episode! Spoilers. Obviously. 

Episode 1 — Horde Prime

- First of...Adora stop throwing yourself into battle challenge - "You're not She-Ra anymore" — TELL HER SIS - The way Catra was so smug but Glimmer was not having any of it "You're just as alone as I am" if that ain't the truth idk what is - Catra wanting the climb up the ranks? Sis I don't think so let's see how long that lasts - The DINNER pissed me the fuck OFF - Oh yeah here's my obligatory SW FUCK OFF CHALLENGE - Micah, King, glare at her!! Yes!! - The way Scorpia said "Catra thought my singing was annoying" honey - That clone was SO annoying stfu about Prime being omniscient and omnipresent and shit like ugH idC - Bow and Adora are the BROTP - Scorpia stinging Adora to keep her safe - and that's on friendship - The way Prime INSTANTLY called Catra out "Adora means something to you" listen I hate the gay but damn he's smart. He saw right through her act. - "Adora chose her side and I chose mine" that doesn't mean you don't still care Catraaa - Also that was REALLL quick lmaoo the way five seconds she was like "imma climb up the ranks" then in about two secs HP was like "sis I have no use for you" - "What are you going to do to me?" IM CRYING - Adora and those weird flashback PTSD things -- are u okay sis?? - This was the first episode and I already want to cry so....wow

Episode 2 — Launch

- Adora omg she's so fatigued girl S L E E P - Bow getting pissed at everyone for not letting her rest...what a king - Catra disobeying HP and talking back to that clone but then HP took its form...fuck man that shit scary - STOP CALLING HER  LITTLE SISTER CHALLENGE JESUS FUCK - Everyone hates Entrapta wow ouch - Literally Entrapta being horny over robots is hilarious lmaoo - Mermista is a great leader and they worked so well together ahhh! I'm loving Scorpia and Frosta's friendship - Entrapta got the signal!! I'm proud -  Adora stop following holograms and illusions challenge -  Adora being all like "I don't know my destiny anymore but I know I need to save my friend." LIKE YES HONEY -  Glimmer is sO volatile like honey,, did you need to break HP's crystal ball thingy?? DID U?? -  also she knows her dad is alive now and that H U R T S ++ I bet she doesn't know the sword is broken so fuckkl -  Micah as She-Ra?? something I never knew I needed -  SW not being in this episode at all? love that for us - "I reinstate my horray" I LOVE YOU SCORPIA - "Can you stay?" MY FUCKING HEART GLITRA FRIENDSHIP HERE WE COME

Every episode I just feel immense f E AR

Episode 3 — Corridors

- THIS STARTS W BABY CATRA AND ADORA?? NOELLE WHY ARE TRYNA KILL US?? - Catra and Glimmer talking about sleepovers and Adora...damn my heart - Adora and her stupid ponytail 💀 - "I'll never say sorry!" - THE WAY YOUNG CATRA WAS SO JEALOUS EYE— - "There's no one in the entire universe who cares about me." - "Im sorry! For everything." IM SO UPSET WTF -  CATRA IS FUCKED BUT SHE SAVED GLIMMER -  HP GTFO CHALLENGE -  I'm so proud of my baby tho wow... -  What the fuck we gone do now? -  so much happened in this episode so this is a lot shorter because my brain is numb. Catra is gonna get brainwashed?? isn't she?? -  "I want to do that one good thing in my life." IM CRYING Y'ALL

Episode 4 —Stranded

- Adora is like "Catra, Catra?? saved you?? wtaf?” Lmaoo - Bow and Glimmer fighting is hurting my HEART - KYLE HAS A CRUSH ON ROGELIO?? SCORPIA DONE EXPOSED IT AHHH - Swifty tryna contact Adora?? kinda cute - him impersonating everyone was onbrand and kinda funny ngl - The way Adora is like "it's complicated" lmaoo girl everything is w you - I live the star siblings omg yeS - "I have to save someone. Someone I—" omFG ADORA - Adora is S T R O N K - she GLOWED OMFG SHE RA?? IS THAT U?? - BOW AND GLIMMER BEING OKAY?? MAYBE - Etherians really are wilding out here - YESSS THEY JOINING THE REBELLION - "Maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be."  Glimmer...I love her sm - "I can't just leave her there. I have to try." Adora actually cares so much about her!! and I love Glimmer being supportive wow we love a queen! - THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER!! LETS GOO - "She-Ra is back." Swift Wind is annoying but thank you. thank you for saying that horse.

I literally threw my hoodie across the room and forgot that I did that wow lmao

Episode 5 — Save the Cat

- My friend who's ahead me said wait for episode 5 now I'm fucking S H OO K - this episode name has me shook I can't - its WRITTEN BY NOELLE?? WE'RE FUCKED - I love Wrong Hordak SM what an idiot - Catradora really is gonna be canon wow - WTAF IS THAT SHE IS NOT MY CATRA SHE IS A CLONE her hair tho?? kinda nice - the way HP said "your Catra." like low-key he said gay rights - "You broke my heart. And he has made me whole again." - "We both know I don't matter"  and "you're and idiot" "I know" THESE TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER - SHE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF FOR HER - the way she's holding her?? so soft - SHE RA IS LOOKING FLY -- and is she taller?? - "You miscalculated" YES QUEEN I LOVE HER. THAT WHOLE FIGHT SCENE WAS AMAZING - FuCK HORDEP PRIME - Darla is the best Light Hope SUX - the "Hey, Adora" was SO SOFT IM SO HAPPY

That episode really hiT different Catradora is DEFINITELY canon EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU NOELLE

Episode 6 - Taking Control

- Adora. Chill. - Catra's trauma...wow - honestly I have SO MUCH TO SAY and so little at all. - The ending w Catra joining was so cute and all the Catradora interactions are SENDING ME this is the development I need - "Adora. Stay." MY HEART - thank fuck that chip is gone YAY - Entrapta and Catra making up? Catra saying "Thank you and I'm sorry" her least favourite words -- characters DEVELOPMENT - The way Catra blushed when Adora transformed GIRL YOURE GAY - SHERAS POWER IS TOO MUCH SLAY GIRL - Horde Prime FucK off challenge I hate him - Micah tryna be a father figure? cute - the endING FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT SPINNERALLA??? POOR NETOSSA

okay but where tf is DT, KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO??

my mum is so tired of me screaming lmaoo

Episode 7 — Perils Of Peekabloo

- Catra just SAT on Adora's lap the PDA is unmatched - We love a filler wow - we literally can't trust anyone this shit sucks - SCORFUMA STANS STAY WINNING - Mermista and Seahawk kinda cute tho (the  heart eyes) - DT I KNEW IT   - CASH KITTEN? EYE—JUST SAY SUGAR MOMMA AND GO - NETOSSA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - MERMISTA TO - EVERYONE is chipped WTF - DT is a theatre gay through and through   - THEY'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED - NOOOO SCORPIA 😭😭😭 - "I'm the muscle, remember?" - SCORPIA'S POWER, HER REACH, IT'S AMAZING - everything is going downhill FAST - "Happy Anniversary" EYE—😭😭😭😭😭

well that sucked What the fuck we gone do now?

Episode 8 - Shot in the Dark

- The soft smile Catra gave Adora while teasing? love that - loving this new squad - the wAY HER TAIL FLUFFED UP SHES SO SCARED MAN - Wrong Hordak is my main g - the LAUGHING!! THE BLUSHING!! EVERYONE CAN SMELL THE GAY TENSION - omg Catra being the brains of the operation?? yes please - "Catra's first mission" THEY'RE SO OBNOXIOUS I LOVE THEM - "I'm going to kill your friends." "Please don't." we are ASCENDING - Casta? Strike her down anyway please 🙏 - Adora is SO WHIPPED the way she blushed at Catra making the door - "It's such a cute sneeze" BOW KNOWS IT CATRA IS CUTE AND THATS THE TEA - literallyyyy I hate SW GTFO CHALLENGE get OFF my screen 😡 - CATRA WHY DID YOU LUNGE AT THAT THING?? - OMFG MAGICAT?? (Nope dumb bitch) - "I'm coming!" "Hurry." - "I'm sorry. I got angry. It's something I'm working on" ADORA GLOWED AND SAID "You are?" WE LOVE SELF GROWTH AHH - It was Catra's hand OMFG IN THE TRAILER - Adora and cat thing being magic? we love it - MELOG IS SO CUTE and Catra can talk to it?? wowow - they love taking strays lmao - Wrong Hordak's character arc is the best one in the show - CATRA HAS AN IDEA?? YES - Preach Casta shut Weaver up - "That about sums it up, yes." I love them as a team - the hand holding? so cutee Catra don't pretend you're not whipped - oml Glimmer kissing Catra before Adora? EYE— Glitra shippers gonna be so happy at that one moment lmaoo - THEY'RE HOMEEEE

ahhh we're getting close to the end nooo

Episode 9 —An ill Wind

- oh god oh god - Catra is so badass with Melog i LOVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL  - having to fight your own wife? that shit sucks - Erelandia? it's free - omg HP is angry asfff - FROSTA CHILL SHE PUNCHED HER HARD - Adora and Catra are soft 🥺 that's all I have to say

Episode 10 — Return to the Fright Zone

- omg are we gonna see Kyle?? Lonnie? Rogelio?? (also nope, stupid hoe) - okay but Netossa getting screentime? YES PLEASE - I love the intro sm ahhhh - also her knowing everyone's weakness? love that shit - ouch Perfuma ouch didn’t have to go so hard on Catra and YET - omg I forgot Bow's dads existed - "Mostly bad memories" 😔😔😔 - competitive gfs for the win - Catra FLEW tho WOW Scorpia is STRONK - the dad jokes are immaculate - "I'm working is being a better friend. That has to count for something right?" - "We don't throw tanks at our friends" sis you don't give flowers to your them at this current time either - "why did I get stuck with the water Princess?" Catra...baby I love you - omg there's a fail safe THANK FUCK I was legit speechless - "There's real power in love and friendship" preACH IT GIRLIE - SCORPIA FIGHT IT YESSS - legit forgot Spinny and Netossa were fighting lmao oof - FINALLY ANGST OVER THE WIVES ARE BACK - omg THE PAN TO ADORA ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE AHHHH - Perfuma is Catra's therapist that's my headcanon - OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT SW FUCK SHIT CATRA BABY IM SORRY

damn I'm stressed out

Episode 11 — Failsafe

- Weaver STFU challenge - them taking about their abuse? we love to see - "We— I could really use your help" KILL ME NOW THEY'RE TOO MUCH - "Not because I like you" she says SMILING - Melog is Catra's affectionate side prove me wrong - Stan Entrapta for clear skin - SW doesn't deserve rights (as per usual) - DONT TOUCH HER BITCH LITERALLYYYY WHYYY - and now She Ra is glitching?? fuck - Catra is so jumpy eye— "Trust Me" MY HEART SBSBDB - Weaver really called her a DISTURBANCE STFU 💀💀💀 - Entrapta and bird horse ftw what a tag team - OMG NO BE CAREFUL - "Did you just jump in fire to save me?" SHE WAS SO SMUG - can SW burn like... now? - "It's none of your business" LITERALLY BUTT OUT  - "Catra, she distracts you, confuses you." WEAVER I FUCKING HATE YOU SM I FUCKING I WILL PUNCH MY SCREEN - Entrapdak being a thing? I do not know how to feel - "Your imperfections are beautiful."  I am.... conflicted - SW doesn't deserve screen time - Catra is an i no cap (I genuinely have no clue what I meant so sorry about that) - i think the fuck not - this episode is so stressful - Catra saving Adora >>>>>>>>> - what an awful reunion for Glimmer damn - "It doesn't always have to be you!" IKR IT SHOULD BE WEAVER - fuck dark magic fuck it all - Catra's upset?? no my baby 🥺 - this whole episode is just traumatising - Adora's heart do be glowing - Catra's LEAVING?? why?? - "What do you want Adora?" - MY HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE 😭😭 - omg this time instead of Adora leaving it's Catra (you are a dumbass DUH) - that H U R T S - ADORA TELL HER YEs QUEEN

omg HEART NEXT???

Episode 12 — Heart Part 1

- I am not prepared for this - Adora...baby I'm so sorry - Glimbow moment with a banjo?? that was cute - Adora really is a party popper - "Adora doesn't want me. Not like I want her." AND THAT'S ON LESBIANISM BUT ALSO FUCKING OUCH  - but really Catra...do you really think Adora doesn't want you? girl are youb B L I N D?? - Wrong Hordak is MY GUY - Stan the rebellion for clear skin - NOOO WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART DON'TPLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT THEY NEARLY KISSED AND IT WAS A FUCKING SIMULATION - real Catra be CAREFUL - "We have to warn Adora" YES SIS WARN YOUR GF  - "I thought I could make my own destiny" U STILL CAN SIS - I'm scared I'm fucking scared - my HEART IS BEATINGG FASTT - I really hate Horde Prime uhhhhhhhgg - for once in your sorry life do something good Weaver jfc - "I can't leave her behind again" - BEST FRIEND SQUAD + MELOG YES - "Bow, I love you." GLIMBOW IS BACK ON AHHH - BUT AT WHAT COST??? (literally what am I saying??) - "You deserve love too." AND THAT'S ON PERIODT - Glimmer coming in clutch!! - Mermista and Seahawk do be cute tho - Micah is actually the worst rn wow - "Goodbye, my oldest enemy" CATRA COME QUICK AHH

the last episode....I'm not ready to say goodbye

Episode 13 — Heart Part 2

- ofc this is written by Noelle - "Hey, Adora" MY HEART - "I'll catch up okay? Get to the heart." - SW ACTUALLY DIED?? THANK YOU MY GIRLS CAN HEAL NOW

andd that's as far as I got before freaking the fuck out with everything that was happening onscreen but THE CATRADORA KISS WAS EVERYTHING and the ending was perfect 🥺💖

—

Thank you Crew-Ra, Noelle for making such a beautiful and heartwarming show, this will be remembered for years to come because what this show did was incredible and unlike anything I've ever watched.

[deluxedolans]

Ok here is a concept Grayson seeing you cry for the first time since you got together because you were stressed because of your job or university 😊

hi alia!!! thank you so much for sending something in :’)

i hope you don’t mind but i lowkey turned this into a self-indulgent blurb.

grayson is not only a “fixer” but also so, so sensitive. he doesn’t want you to ever be upset, and if you are, he wants to make sure that he’s the one to make sure you’re good again. as we already know, homeboy has a heart of gold and as soon as he sees you stressed he immediately wants to take your pain away; however, sometimes his interventions can be a little too smothering—unintentionally, of course.

you rub your hands over your temples and shut your eyes tight. you can feel a migraine coming on, but can’t afford to be out at school. sub plans were way too much fucking work, the kids never listened to the directions anyway, you always came back with the room a mess, people would email you relentlessly with inquiries and questions, regardless if you were there or not, and the kids would miss you, and—it just wasn’t worth it. you popped an excedrin and shut your eyes, willing the pain to go away.

only it didn’t go away. you spent half an hour laying on the couch, half asleep with an ice pack over your eyes, the pounding sensation in your temples starting to make its way to the front of your head. you could feel tears pricking the back of your eyes from not only the pain, but also the stress. then, the front door opens, footsteps approaching the living room.

“babe? babe, s’wrong, you good?” grayson places his phone down on the counter, striding over, taking a seat on the edge of the couch.

“m’head hurts,” you mumble, reaching up to take the ice pack off your face and make eye contact with grayson.

grayson wears a frown, his brows crinkling with worry. “you drink enough water today? you take a nap? you even eat lunch? i know you don’t usually have time to, but that’s—.”

“no, grayson, when do i ever have time to eat lunch?” you snapped, feeling your heart plummet at his expression, especially as his frown only intensified.

“baby, you need to eat, alright? i know you’re super busy throughout the day, but you can at least sn—.”

that’s when you snapped once again at grayson’s words, “gray, don’t lecture me, please, i don’t even have time to pee throughout the day, when would i eat?”

“during lunch?” grayson asks simply, his eyebrows raised.

that’s when the tears really start to fall, because he was right. he was so right. it was so simple to him, but he just didn’t get it, no matter how many times you explained it to him. no matter how many times you told him that lunch was for additional interventions for kids, or for keeping kids in from recess, or for emails, or for meetings, or for making copies, or for literally anything else other than eating. lunch wasn’t time to eat.

you didn’t mean you had to be such a snippy bitch to him but you were just so damn exhausted and so, so sick of everyone just trying to simplify what you did every day to just “fix” what was wrong—.

“no, no, no, angel! what’s wrong? im sorry.” grayson immediately apologizes. “i didn’t mean to be a dick, i was just—.”

you’re eyebrows are quirking immediately. “a dick?! you didn’t do anything, baby. do not apologize. i’m just so exhausted, and i feel so shitty—.”

grayson is nodding frantically as he scoots over to you, pulling you into his lap pulling you into his chest. “i know, y/n, i know.”

“and i just, feel like,” you take a deep breath in, “i can’t catch a break. i’m just so tired and don’t have time to just sit down during the day, when the fuck am i supposed to eat? i didn’t mean to snap at you, i’m sorry for being a bitch, i’m just—.”

“you’re exhausted and sick, baby, i know.” grayson kisses your forehead lightly, his big hands smoothing your hair back from your forehead.

“i know i’m so annoying and i’m so sorry because i say it all the time but i really don’t have five minutes to myself at school—.”

grayson shushes you, “don’t apologize, y/n, i get it. i mean, i don’t completely get it, but i know what you’re saying.” you smile at his sensitivity. “im sorry i was being a pain in the ass, i just—just think you should take some time for yourself. and i know you always say you can’t take school off but i’ve never seen you look this pale, and you’re crying and i fucking hate it. you’re so upset, y/n, and you’re working yourself until you’re sick. you literally have a migraine because you didn’t take care of yourself today.”

you sniffle a little and tuck your head into his chest, sighing. your head continues to pound, the pain making its way behind your eyes.

“i don’t want you to burn yourself out because i know you love this job and your kids, but i love you, and you’re making yourself sick, baby.” grayson rubs circles over your back as you continue to sniffle quietly to yourself, tears still making their way down your face. grayson sighs deeply, pulling you even deeper into his chest, your nose fully engulfed into his shirt at this point.

“i hate seeing you cry, angel, fuckin’ breaks my heart,” he murmurs into your hair. “don’t like seeing my girl upset.” at that last line your heart swells; you actually had the world’s best and largest teddy bear as your boyfriend—no one was as caring, thoughtful, or tender as him.

“i know it’s gonna suck, but you should take tomorrow off. just tell me what to type on the computer and i’ll help you make your plans so you don’t have to look at the screen. you can just tell me what to do.”

you smiled softly, kissing the exposed part of his chest where his shirt had slid down. taking a deep breath, you sit back, looking up at his worried hazel eyes.

“s’okay, baby, i’m gonna go in.”

“no, you're not; you can’t. your eyes are half open right now and you look like a ghost. just lemme help you—do this for yourself. your kids will be fine—they don’t need a half miss y/ln crawling around the classroom, yeah? they need a—a complete miss y/ln who can open her eyes and who doesn’t look like she just crawled out of a crack den.”

“crack den?”

“you look very ill, y/n, don’t make me roast you even more.”

you giggle at his words, your arms wrapping themselves around his broad neck. “i’ll be your crackhead.”

grayson chuckles, “only if you stay home and fucking relax can you be my crackhead.”

you sigh; tomorrow was friday and you had a spelling test, centers, extra recess time—you guys weren’t actually going to be doing all that much...

“i’ll type it all up for you. you won’t even have to lift a finger. you can lay your head in my lap just how you like and i’ll just write down everything for tomorrow.” graysons eyes beamed with hope; hope that you’d take care of yourself for once, hope that you’d let him take care of you for once.

“alri—.” grayson can’t help but let a fist pump escape. he can’t believe he was actually able to convince you.

“but i’m proofreading and emailing it out.”

“whatever keeps you in my arms and stress free, pretty girl.”