#im just so tired and i dont want to be so im yelling about it here cause RGHRHKER FUCK GIVE ME ENERGY
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put the toxic dylric headcanons in the BAG!! hand em over
toxic dylric headcanons!
as i said in my video several people asked me for this so…heh…thanks guys…these also might not be great because im so tired right now i might make better ones later
tw for self harm and eating disorders
why so much ed content?? im projecting
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theyre both equally as toxic to each other i think, but a lot of these are gonna be on erics part because i need some classic abusive eric content im sorry (and also i cant think of much for dylan right now)
dylan and his eating disorders. my, my. where do we start. eric finds out about dylans issues once he starts to drastically lose weight and he tells him that he shouldnt be doing that, but at the same time he finds out he has a weird thing for it and is basically like “omg dont do that vee thats bad…well…maybe a little more for me wouldnt hurt…” (shoutout to my friend for helping me make this one)
eric definitely snaps at dylan a lot and will yell at him over small things. dylan doesn’t appreciate it so then he will leave and ignore eric until eric is being desperate and apologizing way too much.
adding onto that i think whenever dylans hanging out with his friends eric would call him and be a total bitch about why he wasnt invited/why dylan is with them instead of him.
sex between them is definitely a little rough. neither of them can listen to each others needs and wants very well, especially eric. a lot of the things they do are under negotiated and sort of happen and come out of nowhere.
dylan can definitely get really annoyed and moody and just like completely ignore eric no matter how much he tries to fix it. at that point he would also be ignoring him in school and not answering him whenever eric needs to talk to him about the plans.
eric doesnt like the scars that dylan has. he thinks they look bad on him - he thinks its a waste of time for him to do something so destructive only for it to heal over and barely leave a mark. anytime he comments on it dylan just tells him off.
they both have issues with accepting their homosexuality and it shows. they call each other faggots all the time and will blame those types of things on one another - blaming each other for being the reason they get it on basically.
also eric has definitely pretended dylan was a girl during sex more then once which made him uncomfortable, but obviously he doesnt stop because he doesnt wanna be fucking a dude.
theyre both the type to get into massive fights and arguments that leave them bloody and bruised only for them to resolve it with angry make up sex and then be like “we are never gonna fight again fuck that smh” but it happens again shortly after.
neither of them have any ideas on how to properly set boundaries. eric would be real touchy and forceful with dylan because he didnt set boundaries for that while dylan would be too emotionally heavy and put his problems onto eric because he didnt set anything for that.
eric will trace over and touch all the bones that stick out on dylan because of how skinny he is while dylan will make a show of the weird dip thing eric has on his chest. basically them getting back at each other.
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ilovebeatingmywife · 2 days ago
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why cant my dad just do things for himself once and awhile im so tired of this
#he has physical issues and mental but bro he doesnt even try to help himself#hes in pain constantly and wont do jack shit about it#and he KNOWS if he starts doing a little more than sit and watch tv all day he'll feel atleast slightly better#the healing process is painful both physically and mentally but he hasnt even started it#he makes me so mad oh my god#i grew up with my mom telling me “he acts that way because hes in pain” DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT#he literally tries nothing. hes gonna die in the next 10 years#hes unhealthy and overweight and barely eats and his teeth are all messed up and he cant eat anything without it hurting like hell#but nooo he wont go to the dentist noooo#we HAVE insurance its not like a money thing jesus christ#ive barely had a father because of this he's constantly in pain and so he doesnt want to talk to anyone hes threatened to hit mymom and#later blamed it on his back pain#oh my god i cannot live with him anymore im so tired of it#he doesnt even.work my mom has to work until night to feed us and keep this house running and then my dad buys random shit off the Internet#and then fucking turns around and YELLS at my mom after she gets home from a looong day of work asking Why she spends so much money#its HER money. idgaf if you share a bank account or whatever its HERS she earned all of that and spends it on shit YOU NEED.#he has brought NOTHING to this family for the last 10 years besides being a father andhe DOESNT EVEN DO THAT#ohhh and his medicine he takes for all this pain “helps him” no the fuck it doesnt hes still in somuch pain. and then it makes him tired#and he sleeps all day ohmygod#hes just there at this point. i come home and dont even look at him cuz i Know hes sitting in that stupid chair in the living room#ive tried so hard to understand that “oh he's just..acting like that cuz hes in pain and .cant help it” I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#it feels like i barely have a father#and the audacity he has to boss me around. like i understand im your child but oh my god let me live. i dont wanna end up like you#okay hes in pain yeah? DO SOMETHING ABOUT. IT that is NO excuse to be a shitty dad. NO excuse#oh yeah i have a dad but hes emotionally distant and never sees me becausehe wont get off his lazy ass#but yet i cant stop loving him. hes so much like me sometimes and that scares me#im going mad okay
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soonhoonsol · 1 year ago
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you guys ever get tired of friends who only talk about themselves? how do you respectfully tell them off?
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rainecloud020604 · 3 months ago
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girl help a soda did not fix me i have so much i need to do
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brine-in-my-eyes · 29 days ago
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milf-harrington · 1 year ago
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where im at mentally these days: my mum hugged me and said im doing a good job and i burst into tears <3
#i mean it was a little more fleshed out than that#i asked for a hug and she asked if i was okay and i didnt say anything so she said something about me feeling like#untethered. just kind of floating through life. and i said yeah. and she told me im doing a good job like. getting through the day basically#and i cried about it because i dont even know why its so hard#and i feel so shitty all the time because i just feel like a shit person like i dont try hard enough with my nephew#and hes so little and so smart and im so awful and every day im worried hes going to stop liking me bc im still learning how to be. gentle.#because i grew up with yelling and a locked pantry and an older sister who had to raise me#so i dont know how to not yell and not escape into my own world when i cant be bothered#and i have really good days and really terrible days and hes not a Job hes my nephew and i want to treat him like my nephew#and it feels so selfish to say im tired and that its hard and stressful and i dont know what im doing#bc my sister has to do it too and she doesnt get breaks like i do#she doesnt get to just decide to leave for the night - and i mean i dont do that but i have the option#and everyone keeps. like. telling me im doing good and im helpful and my sister especially tells me often shes grateful for me#and it makes me feel Awful bc i feel like i dont do enough and that the stuff i DO isnt good enough and just argh#anyway#vent over i need to go to bed its 1am and i have to get up in 5 hours#captain speaks
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grandmasickomode · 4 months ago
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God dads outburst at me about the election really has left me shaken and fucked up
Spent the last few weeks feeling incredibly lost and tired. All it took was dad breaking my trust in him and losing his stupid ass to the right wing.
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chiistarri · 6 months ago
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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kn11ves · 9 months ago
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emotional support group for autistics who got called condescending and rude as kids just for responding to things directly and still not knowing how they were being mean
#what did i do#i got constantly told by my mother and step father (and his family) that i always talked like i knew better than they did or that i was#just as mature. i was just fuckjng talking what the hell did you want me to do#why do you feel attacked when a 10 year old speaks to you as an adult????? literally what#i dont know on that note sometimes its just like i dont even feel like ive aged at all#sure i have a giant explosion of time in my head just Gone from my memory because i was getting abused but like i dont feel like ive aged#or really matured ive felt like ive alwats felt#i cant relate when epople are like me when i feel all my ages or i wish i could go back to being x age or being x age everything felt so#different..like no it didnt. or im missing something?#i have never in my life felt like anything has changed. ive always been this old. there is no ''inner child'' and ive never had childhood#innocence or a nostalgia or childhood to go back to. i have no idea what any of you are talking about ever👍#ugh jst rmemebred skmething that happened with my white step dad's mother#we visited her house and she literally fucking didnt let me go (not physically) until i replied to her with Correct Granmar. what was i#doing? i was reaponding to her by saying ''yeah'' and she kept repeating ''yes'' like telling me to say yes instead of yeah and i didnt#Fucking Get It because guess what you old white cracker i barely fucking speak english and you are just saying things in an aggressive tone#like thats gonna make me get it. and i Didnt i just kept replying yrah to her yes's and then she got tired of it and we left out the door#and theeeeen i got yelled at in the car by being called disrespectful and rude by my parents. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?????????#those crackers never liked me LOL i literally know they didnt#ugh i rmemeber this one time my step dads father was like trying to show me some dumb boxing or karate or something punching move and he#told my mother that i was good at it because he felt i had a lot of aggression and then NY MOTHER YELLED AT ME IN THE CAR FOR IT??????#oh fucking wonder why te kid being abused mighthave aggression but she didnt Know (apart from what She was doing to me) like why would it#be my fucking fault if he thought i had aggression in me HOW IS THAT MY FAULT WHAT DIDBI DO I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO THE MOVE BECAUSE WELL#I WAS TRYING TO GET ALONG BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY WANTED ME TO DO#she was like do you know how much that embarassed me and WHAT THE HELL HE SAID IT I DIDNT I WAS LIKE#8??? OR SOMETHING???? I DONT FUCKING KNOW!!! I DIDNT KNOW WOMAN WHAT DID YOU WANT FROM ME#mothers when they mother👍
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muttsona · 8 months ago
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i hope i die, you broke my heart
#personal#so fucking tired oh my god#just yelled at my sister so loud that my throat is sore over a piece of fuciing plastic#sometimes ecerytbinf feels so bad and its like. what do i even do#like ok i relapse and i need a break from someone and they loose their fucking shit on me#taljing about how you always deal with my shit and youre tired of how i see you as the worst in the group#as if i didnt literally repeat to you over and over again that i love you and that i always will even when you kept denying it#all of the times youve left all the servers and the gc and all that and i was there to comfort you#theres a reason im always the person you go to#byt yeah . im neverrrr there for you#like is it just that im not there for you in the Same Way that youre there forme ??#does it need to be completely equal to be fair#and idk. i know hes struggling too but its so fucking stupid because ive been struggling for months and i dont treat u like tjat#im tired of feeling like i have to do two times more than everyone else ro be worthy of their love#like sorry man but im fucking sick and tired#i know ill be fine without you but like youre so sick right now that i dont know what youll do without all of us#idk im just like. you used to be so kind but now youre writing your name in mu blood#and sometimes i feel bad because i didnt mean evedytbinf i said to you but lets be honest#you didnt mean everyrbinf you said either#and i dont know if you were ever the right person because a lot of the time i think we are just two chemicals that werent meant to mix#but ill always remember you when i hear that one song and im making it sound like this is some kind if goodbye but it Really isnt#but like there was a time when i would tear myself apart for you. mot even because i liked you that much#i guess i just wanted someone that liked me as much as you did???#and when j say that it isnt even about one soecific oerson. its an amalgamation of ecery person tgat has ever loved me#a little more than they were supposed to#i think i hate ahen people love me Too Much because i dont want to be adored like that it scares me#iknow what thats like and i dont want to be someone fp Its so scary#okay if im being honest i dont know whbat the fuck im saying right mow#byt like. idk. im tired and i think im done. tbh#💭
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scaredofmyocs · 1 year ago
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I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long
#talk post#i love this blog i want to live here#I cant!!! i just cant!!! go to bed at a normal fucking time istg#but noooooo the wild grinders wiki no some stupid bullshit no one has ever cared about before#WHEN I DONT GET ENOUGH SLEEP MY MENTAL HEALTH GETS WAY WORSE!!!!! IF I DONT FIX IT WE ARE GOING TO GET TOO SILLY#(yelling at a mirror)#seriously bothers me tho that Im always worried about how intense my negative feelings have been lately#and im like “oh ill just get more sleep” and then immediately fuck it up the next night making me tired all week#making me feel SO bad in the mornings and at night and increasing my paranoia and other such thoughts#and in trying to tune it all out just forget about it again leading to me fucking it up again#this is a bit dramatic its only happened 2 weeks in a row#but that feels like a lot because thats like 10 nights where i felt like i blinked and i had to wake up and go to school#and not only deal with my shitty social skills but the results of said thing#and also try to fight the thoughts that are like “this shits pointless im not doing this” LIKE PLEASE pretend to be normal for one year#and also that one teacher i have who demands every students attention while he teaches like i already finished the work sheet shut it#like i do well in that class just let me do what i want im not being distracting like girl i have at least an 87 dw about me#PLUS most of the time im not even on my phone he just really wants me to look at the board but girl as i said I ALREADY DID WHATS ON THERE#i feel like i never get to relax but i do all the time so i dont know what i mean#i keep saying “its ok as long as i can bury all my thoughts and just keep going while filling what free time i have with things i enjoy”#but things only work for so long#i hate the passage of time#anyawy erm wrong my guitar is in my mind (stupid ass guitar riff)#walks over to my bed and trips on the way falling asleep on the floor#ramble#hit post
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waywardsalt · 2 years ago
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the phantom hourglass manga is the one i care about the most out of all of the loz manga and therefore the one i am most willing to rip apart because of its relation to the game, its own problems, and the potential that was lost or thrown away for any reason at all
making this separate than the list of things i liked about the phantom hourglass manga
im not going to be too organized about this; ill go by topic and in each topic go in chronological order through the manga and everything else will probably be all over the place
im not even going to touch the story yet and just go after the art off the bat because i really believe that this manga has the weakest art of all of them. i dont know if its due to some kind of time crunch or a lack of care but its really… im not expecting any of these books to have killer art, but in ph it just feels like there was less effort with inconsistencies in some designs and either very low detail or just absent backgrounds. this feels like a mean-spirited critique since i understand that manga is difficult to create and requires a lot of effort but its just visually… worse than the loz manga that came before or after it.
some specific grievances i have with the art are things like inconsistent designs of some characters (linebeck is hard to draw and i get that but hes just… never totally consistent) and some items like weapons (the shape of bellumbeck’s sword changes during the fight for some reason) and stuff is… left out. the fire temple has basically no layout since link’s just in some flavor of void for the entire blaaz fight. one of the panels with linebeck’s ship shows it from the behind at an angle where you should see the deck but its just not there
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his ship is also missing its chimney on the cover art
this is also more of an opinion thing but the way astrid looks almost nothing like her game counterpart is just… it’s a nickpick based on opinion but that is Not The Same Character.
you can absolutely tell a fantastic story with lacking art, but the reason why im criticizing this manga’s art is because its the tenth in a series of manga who, up until this point, has had consistently good art, and then it drops off with weak backgrounds and character inconsistencies.
plus, i really care about how this story is visually portrayed.
the pacing, even with half of the story cut, is also a bit of a problem. as far as i'm aware, this is the only loz manga to have significant chunks of the story cut out, and while it admittedly works well with only half of the story, it fucks with the pacing a bit. specifically, it screws over linebeck's arc, which i'll talk about more in a different section, but it also kind of glosses over the phantom sword and (obviously) loses some possible time for further character exploration and whatever. the cut from the ghost ship right to jolene right to the final boss is, while handled well, kind of abrupt.
obviously, cutting half of the damn story will make what's kept feel a little too fast, but even some of the stuff more original to the manga is paced weirdly or is just... eh.
there's a bit after neri is found where linebeck decides to stop working with link and basically ditches him and this whole thing lasts one to two goddamn pages before everything is patched up and good and... why even include it if you turn the page and oh problem fucking solved. it's even a little out of character for linebeck at that point since a few pages before he's seen getting the sands of time for link and it's... it make sense but it's a really extreme character choice and while it serves its purpose (introducing the idea of linebeck not valuing other people very much and realizing that) it's still extremely brief.
the added stuff with linebeck being a past member of the ghost ship, while fine and interesting at first glance is also a strange choice that doesn't work all that well? it works for characterization and all of that but it makes for a weird situation with linebeck's character motivation where he's a coward and after the ghost ship for the treasure on it, but if he was present on the ghost ship literally as it was fucking gutted then he would know exactly what the danger of the ship is and want to avoid it no matter what. in the game his motivation for going after the ghost ship works because he doesn't know for certain whats on that ship and has never been on it. plus, aside from character backstory and whatever, it doesnt serve much of a purpose. linebeck even makes some comments about the ship's interior and the like but it all amounts to nothing because link never actually goes into the ship anyways. it's just a weird backstory to give linebeck.
the shuffling around (and cutting of one of) the three final bosses is also weird. it makes sense for the story order the manga goes with, but it actually lowers the stakes for the bellumbeck fight (in the game literally everything is on the line but in the manga its just linebeck and they absolutely use that to their advantage but still) and mixing the ghost ship fight and bellum fights make the final encounter really brief and kind of anticlimactic in some way. it's difficult to express, but the order of the final bosses in the game makes bellum a more interesting villain and melds with linebeck's arc in a much more interesting way. it feels like there was a specific reason for that given order and for the manga to just toss that aside means it loses something.
also reserving pretty much an entire chapter for jolene is A Choice to make. there's nothing wrong with using an adaptation to flesh out a character but here you don't learn anything new about jolene she just kind of makes very little sense in her motivations when you give her more screen time but dont change her from wanting to kill linebeck for fucking off but also still liking him maybe. good for you if you like jolene since she got more time here but they did pretty much nothing interesting with her
this is something i figured out while writing this, but the manga actually does Fuck All with the actual hourglass. you could've cut the fucking thing out and it wouldn't have effected the story too much. link never goes into the temple every again and the phantom sword is just. made on request with link having no interaction with it before using it to kill bellum. the only time the phantom hourglass is actually plot relevant aside from link first getting it and then using it to gather sand is when bellum tells link to bring it to the temple and then it's used exactly once to stop time and then it's used as proof that everything happened. oshus says link needs to use it and the sand to break the curse over the temple of the ocean king and then that never actually happens the sand and the hourglass is just used once to stop time once and otherwise it might as well not be in the story it's so weird. it's also implied that oshus needs the sand to restore tetra after he returns to his own true form but they dont say anything about that after he initially mentions it so who cares. oshus also tells link that zuaz will teach him how to defeat bellum. link never meets zuaz and still beats bellum anyways.
it feels like they cut the latter half of the story but forgot that the fucking majority of linebeck's entire goddamn character arc happens in that part of the story. sure, most of the cutscenes and whatever happens in the first part and linebeck does develop a bit in the first part but he doesn't really start to change until after the ghost ship, when you get his letter and his dialogue starts to change slightly to suggest that he's starting to like link more and care about something other than the possibility of treasure. the manga cutting out the latter half of the story but still making linebeck's arc end in similar places makes his arc feel really fast and even abrupt in the manga. he goes from being fully motivated to get treasure and still kind of selfish to caring a lot for link and deciding not to wish for treasure and the time was just NOT put in to make that a smooth transition.
honestly linebeck overall got fucked in the manga more than any other character. his arc was shafted, his characterization is strange and even kind of changed from the game, he's never drawn consistently and doesn't even look great since he seems to be stuck between two styles when he's drawn, he's more shallow and generally a less interesting character, and while most of that is probably a product of having one book to cover ph, it's still a problem.
like with all of the loz manga, the extremely limited amount of space and time the story is given absolutely fucks it over so you really are stuck with telling nothing more than an abridged and seriously inferior version of the story. i dont care how good the original stuff is if it barely qualifies as a good adaptation. the story wasn't told all of the way and none of the game's strengths are kept or expanded upon. you lose the majority of the best character's arc and depth. half of the story was cut. the title item is barely used. it feels like they didn't really care about adapting phantom hourglass and just hashed out a trimmed-down version of the story to fit into 188 pages and while there was some effort put in with a bit of a unique take on linebeck but it just falls flat when everything around it feels like it wasn't given a second thought.
i'm not suggesting that the author's didn't fucking care, i don't know what the process was with this, but it just... it doesnt feel like they actually wanted to earnestly create a good adaptation of this game. i have an altered perspective on all of this because this game is my special interest and something i deeply care about and inspect the little details of and it kinda just sucks that phantom hourglass never got a good adaptation because... this game has some serious potential for a really good extended adaptation.
Unlike the other Zelda games that the other manga cover, the structure of the journey in Phantom Hourglass has an insane amount of space for fleshing out of character, exploration of new concepts or character relationships, or just.. whatever you want. Providing you cover the original story, of course. Off the bat, there's a nebulous amount of travel time between islands, which can be used by authors for character moments and interactions and just little moments that can be used to further themes or concepts. You can use the implied time overseas between islands to have some interactions between Link and Linebeck. Show the three fairies hanging out with each other. Show the whole crew becoming closer to each other as time drags on.
Linebeck's existence and function within Phantom Hourglass alone is so fucking unique and amazingly good for an extended adaptation. In most other Zelda games, the companions are pretty much glued to Link's side and follows him through dungeons, or they're characters locked in a specific place, more or less divorced from Link's quest, but Linebeck is an integral part of the plot, present for every part of it as it advances, and yet he's out doing fuck-all while Link is in dungeons. He's a great excuse for authors to add detail to islands, write new characterization for background characters, or even just give Linebeck his own b-plot running concurrently with the game's normal plot. He's important to the plot and yet doesn't touch the gameplay; he's free to do whatever you want while Link does dungeon stuff. One possible idea I've mentioned before is the idea of, while Link is in the temple of the Ocean King, is to create and explore a possible relationship between Oshus and Linebeck. Scenes of them talking can be used to flesh out Oshus as a character and to add some extra depth to Linebeck and make his arc more interesting to follow.
There is... SO MUCH you can do with Phantom Hourglass if you care enough to do it, and I'm just so frustrated that we got this solid 4/10 of a manga.
#salty talks#bitching about the loz manga#hi if you think i'm wrong or made a mistake in this i implore you to fucking yell at me for it#i care about this game so fucking much that i would love to know if i fucked this up in any way#anyways uhhhh yeah. oof. it sucks.#i dont like jolene at all and have tags blacklisted to reflect that and will not touch stuff w/ her so thats why i dont read this much#jolene wanting to kill linebeck but still being implied to be attached to him makes me slightly uncomfortable ngl#probably one of the biggest reasons why i dislike her so much she gives me really bad vibes and is annoying#anyways. yall out here talking about how this manga has good dadbeck moments are fucking lying#maybe i cant see it because i have a good relationship with my dad but at best he's just. idk he gives a shit abt link at the most#i hate manga astrid i hate her so muhc. like. look at astrid in the game. what the fuck were the manga artists smoking#game astrid looks nothing like manga astrid and i like game astrid better.#this is incoherent bc im tired and i dont know how to write things like this and im so fucking tired#if you want clarification about any of this like you want me to talk about something specific?#send an ask or bring it up in a reblog or smth ill gladly discuss this book and why i kinda want to feed it to my dog#i just. game linebeck has queer vibes. game linebeck can be read as autistic#manga linebeck is neither. milquetoast ass fuckin wet cardboard take on a character#i dont even hate him he just fucking sucks compared to game linebeck#like. i hold game bellumbeck in such high regard bc everything about is is wonderful its a beautiful climax#every little thing about it is great i love the stakes i love the implications you can make about linebeck about bellum#the music the atmosphere the events leading up to it its place compared to other final bosses#manga bellumbeck is cool but its not what it could be#i didnt add any more photo evidence for art grievances bc theres a lot. bellumbeck's design changes between chapters#can you tell when making this post is no longer fueled by tired hate. can you#i thought about painting a target on my back and tagging this as phantom hourglass but thats a bad idea lol
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pascal-oswell · 2 years ago
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sometimes. it feels like this is all some people remember about heathcliff.
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arcadequeerz · 2 years ago
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Right on that limit right now.
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riotbeankai · 7 days ago
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I've only been on this dosage of testosterone gel for what, like, a year? how many times do I have to get it refilled before they figure out HOW MANY TO GIVE ME for a 30 DAY FUCKIN SUPPLY for FUCK'S SAKE
#'it says we gave you a 90 day supply'#no you gave my 90 packets i use 3 packets per day so thats a 30 day supply#'it says we dispensed 225'#that's 225 grams because each packet is 2.5 grams so 90 packets is 225#'one moment let me put you on hold'#'okay youre right the day supply was wrong woops we'll get that refill submitted today'#IT'S BEEN NEARLY A WEEK SINCE I PUT IN THE REFILL REQUEST AND I USED MY LAST DOSE TODAY IM SO TIRED OF PHARMACIES AND CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES#i didnt yell at the pharmacist i just said 'cool thank you 😊' but that last tag is what i was internally screaming#this is why i desperately wish i could go back to injections#and other reasons but this is a big one#im genuinely this close to risking anaphylaxis to just give it another try and see if my body will tolerate it properly this time#im so tired of allergy specialists being useless and doctors not giving a shit about what im asking for or what i need#all this headache to get my medication and take it every fucking day and its NOT EVEN AS EFFECTIVE AS INJECTIONS#im slathering a full 3 packets of goop equivalent to like 5 big pumps of hand sanitizer on my legs every fucking morning#and it's NOT EVEN AS CONSISTENT OR EFFECTIVE AS THE ALTERNATIVE#and i cant fucking increase the dose!!#not only will the pharmacy shit its pants even worse every single month#but i literally dont have enough skin surface area to effectively absorb that much fucking gel#im so tired#when are they gonna invent like a testicle transplant so i can make my own fuckin testosterone#i dont even want balls for like dysphoria or aesthetic reasons i literally just want the hormone to naturally occur in my body#im so fucking tired of workarounds
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yanosdiary · 4 months ago
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Fuck.
#whT if i just. what if i just. what if i just#haha. hehehe. hahahaha. fuck. me.#i blinked. i fucking BLINKED. suddenly theyre yelling at each other.#'shes on her period her emotions are out of control rn'#no you dont understand. thats not how it works. you dont snap like that bc ur on ur period.#im scared. im so fucking scared. what#if she has bpd too. what if it passed down to her and its judt showing now?#yk when it happened i only felt hurt in my chest? i didnt feel anything at all. all that emotional training paid off ig#yeard and years of telling myself to shut my emotions off rlly worked bc ive never heard her scream and cuss like that before#yet i didnt feel anything. but i did feel my inner child crying. i felt deja vu.#a distant memory of when she was yelling and arguing with HIM while i cry and piss myself on the rug when i was barely 2 years old#when my mom yelled and started sobbing and started cussing and fuck#it was so triggering but it felt like my body stopped working. it stopped completely. but like#my instincts. felt. like. it was on fight or flight mode. i wanted to run. my legs ached and i couldnt walk but it felt like i wanted to run#i wanma falk about it i wanna ralk about it so bad but what if i talk too much and ppl see how depressed i really am#i dont want to give off rhat impression. i want to give off a happy impressiom even tho im not#for ronight. and tomorrow. i dont wanna function properly.#ive functioned enouvh this week. ill take a break today and tomorrow.#for tomorrow. ill pretend i died and my ghost is wandering around my room. for tomorrow ill rot my soul away.#ill pick up the pieces for it later. i dont feel like piecing myself together right now.#im so. im so fucking tired. i feel like the only thing thatll comfort me rn is to hug a clay statue of yuuta for some odd reason#ive been so unbelievanly depressed for the past few months fuck i want to die i want to die so bad#and theres not even like a single reason why. i dont rememver. i cant remember. i cant feel. anything.#i dont wsnt to live right now. can i just. die. and then get brought back to life later when i feel ready again.
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