#im just habing feelings over here about it

[maraskywalkers]

I think about the "all this time everyone thought I was a bad cook"/"you were" a lot because 1) it's hilarious, Christopher's delivery gets me every time & Eddie & Buck's reactions each are great but 2) it's also indicative of the relationship that Chris & Eddie have and how lovely & good it is?? like the fact that Christopher can openly tease him like that & how often they are playful with each other & like even with Buck he can rib him about not having a couch or ofc he knows what a porterhouse is like anyway I just think about the other father son relationships right like Eddie's with Ramon and Buck's with Philip and like it's beautiful that Eddie has made it so Chris can talk to him about his feelings, that it's okay to be sad & angry and helping him learn how to handle those feelings, and he does so in a way that's open & honest & vulnerable because he's still learning too and he's worked really hard at being that for Chris but he's also made it so that they can be silly & playful & teasing because Chris know that he's safe with Eddie and by extension Buck too yeah like it's something I think about a lot as an aunt to young kids you know and just Eddie has made mistakes and he's always gonna be learning & growing right like we all are but he's such a good dad because Christopher can be himself with Eddie like he gets to be a whole actual person and not everyone gets that from their parents or family and you can tell just by their interactions that no matter what Chris is always gonna be loved & safe & respected & cared for with Eddie and Chris knows that and it's just so lovely you know????

[changbinsboobs]

Do more like that reading pls plspls

Hehe here's more nsfw readings then

Took the idea from an anon i saw on another account and couldn't wait to see what the energies are so im just doing it myself🏃🏻‍♀️ hope thats ok. Anyways...

Who in Skz is into pegging?

Chan

Strictly against it, he has firm boundaries and doesn't play about it, i think he wouldn't even like a tiny finger in the butt during a blowjob or something.

Lee Know

Ready to try, i think he would initiate it even, like bring it up himself. Probably has already done it. I think he liked it and wants to do it more often now and always have some sort of butt stimulation whenever doing the nasty. Omg when i asked how his experience was i got the sun, with the glowing, flying person on it😂 best description of an orgasm i could get🙌🏻😂 also i heard "i can take it"🫢 didn't expect such straightforwardness with our boy here, thats new. But yeah i'm now pretty sure he has had several pegging or anal experiences, especially on the receiving end and really loved it very much. I would even say he's experienced🌝

Changbin

Wants to try. Hasn't yet. I think he's really curious and thinks he'll really like it but he hasn't had the right person or opportunity to try it yet. I think he might've tried something by himself and really liked it. Although im actually getting the vibe he may habe found this out when he was much younger and still exploring his sexuality - so that's why he's so eager to try and thinks he'll like it - but as i said, i feel like there's some sort of worry to share that with his partners, because he may feel like its too taboo and maybe feel some shame around it or feel too vulnerable showing that desire to his sexual partners, or if he has done it, he has gotten rejected. Although i don't really think thats the case. I feel like he hasn't initiated it himself yet.

Hyunjin

Loves it so much but gets too little. I feel like he would love to get some butt action much more in his sex life and doesn't get that nearly as much as he would like. There's lots of water on the card so i think he cums a lot when receiving and i think he might be into milking. Also im hearing its such a waste letting a juicy boy like him dry up like that. Weird tho you would think a guy like him would have all the options in the world he wants and never be not satisfied in bed. Go figure.

Han

Probably explored that recently within a relationship and the experience was nice. Wouldn't say he's necessarily INTO IT, but he doesn't mind and likes it as long as its with a partner he loves and trusts.

Felix

I think if its on porn or in theory he's really turned on by it, tho when it comes to actually trying it he's very scared. And i think whatever excitement he had previously goes all down the drain. Im seeing mostly fear, but also some sort of appalling? Like, ugh idk how to explain it but it seems like it just feels wrong for him to get that. I don't see him minding giving tho.

Seungmin

Is open to try and explore, i think he's actually excited about it, like if his partner brought it up he would gladly try. Or even bring it up himself if he and his partner wanted to spice things up a bit. Which surprises me quite a lot actually, i expected that the least from him. Although im not necessarily seeing pegging but stuff thats more on the smaller side like fingering or something of that scale. At least for the beginning until the initial exploration phase is over. Also a side note im seeing is....ugh i don't even wanna say cuz it makes me feel so weird so im just gonna hint. He's ehm...gifted? when it comes to that...area. Like he would really enjoy it🥭 if u get it get if u dont u dont.

I.N

Also wouldn't doo it, i think mentioning that even would bring him so much stress and worry and just make him fall out of the mood completely and i think he's way to unrelaxed to enjoy an activity like this. Even if he ended up doing it it would be a miss for both as it just wouldn't be fun. Literally a pain in the ass (😂 yeah ik the joke is lame, yes i still find it funny)

If i had to do a MTL it would look like that:

1. Lee Know

2. Hyunjin

3. Changbin

4. Felix (Despite him being scared af it still turns him on)

5. Seungmin

6. Han

7. I.N

8. Chan

[soggyriceee]

Moth to a flame part 3?

Moth To A Flame | Konig NSFW

| first of all, I just wanna say thank you for all the support on this story. when I say I was not expecting to make this a series I wasn't. I literally was listening to the song and got some really good inspiration for a quick little smut and kept it pushing lmao. im so glad you guys like it and I hope to write more long stories in the future! in this part I will say Konig is a little crazy, and a lot of mentions about stalking, mommy king(hehehe), and aggressive sex are mentioned. also horrible German translation. if these are any triggers to you please please do not read this part! thank you again ily all sm <3 |

four months have passed since you moved away. you and your boyfriend now live in New York, working a daytime job as a school nurse. you finally decided to put your college degree to work. your boyfriend worked at the same company, got a raise and is planning on taking you both out to Cancun for the summer. and of course,

you got the abortion.

it was the least you could do to help make your boyfriend feel better. the last thing you needed was to be alone in New York, a city too big for someone to learn on their own. you were happy. contempt. Konig was out of your life and you were able to focus on your boyfriend now.

however, arguments and trust issues were inevitable after what happened. as much as your boyfriend loved you, he couldn't trust that the same thing would happen again. whether it was Konig or someone else. a ring light camera was placed at the front of your apartment door, checked by him every night for Konig but also any suspicious activity. "its more so for our safety." he had told you a few days ago. but you knew it was more to prove his doubts wrong.

Konig harnt reached out to you. he was blocked on everything, completely ghosted. but you knew that wouldn't stop him from looking for you. you just hoped it wasn't anytime soon. the abortion was already a big step into the right path for you, Konig coming in and ruining that path was not what you needed. you were happy where your life was now, you were happy with your boyfriend. Konig would never be an issue again.

that was until you heard a knock at the door of your office. "come in~" you said sing songly, expecting another high schooler to come in with some lame excuse to be here and not in class. you paid no mind to when the door open, finishing putting the rest of the cough drops into the jar. "what can I help you with?" you asked, back still turned.

it was quiet for a moment. then, you felt two strong arms wrapping around your waist. you gasped, turning quickly. there, Konig looked down at you, a wide spread smile on his face. "Meine Liebe, ich habe dich so sehr vermisst.." he whispered, leaning down placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

to say your heart felt like it would jump out your body was a humungous understatement. you know it wasn't your fault this time it was happening. but you still felt beyond guilty, and most of all scared. pushing him back, you moved to the front of your desk. " h-how.. how did you find me- how did you get in?" you asked, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. "dont worry about that my love.. im here now. im here to take you back home." he said, tilting his head slightly.

he looked around, humming softly. "this is a cute office. very you like." he said, smiling at the photos of you and students you had grown close to over the last few months. but he didnt really care about that. he cared about getting you back to "home". "I am home Konig. you need to leave me alone im serious this time. im happy here im happy with-"

"but you aren't. I know you aren't. I know you miss me meine liebe. I miss you too. think about you all the time." he said, another smile coming across his face. he moved closer to you but you backed away. he sighed, crossing his arms. he was unhealthy. he needed serious help. help you simply couldn't offer him. "how long are you going to play this game." he said, his tone more serious, his eyes shooting you daggers.

"im not playing a game Konig you need to move on. you cheated many times. you lost your chance to be with me." you said, looking to his side. he wasn't one to get angry, so you weren't worried about that. you were worried about falling for his gaze, his puppy eyes. " gosh those were mistakes. I regret it. I love you. I love you please come back to me." he begged, his voice going from demanding to desperate.

he moved forward again, this time following you until your back hit the wall.

shit.

he placed an arm on the side of your head, the other moving for your chin. smiling, he tilted his head. "dont you see.. no matter where you go, how many phone numbers you make. ill find you, like I always do. and ill fuck you good, like I always do. ill have you leave him and be with me. who you really wanna be with." he whispered, his eyes moving down from your lips to your covered breasts. your chest rose and fell quickly, tears brimming your eyes. you hated him. but you hated him even more because you know he was right. he always fucks you good. he always finds you.

"please.. please leave me alone." you whimpered, fighting back the tears. he ignored your cries and moved his hand to your tummy, frowning. "our baby.. where is it? you should be a lot bigger by now." he said, stepping back a bit.

at that moment you had remembered the abortion, cursing yourself for allowing it to slip your mind so quickly. "where is our baby?" he asked again, his eyes going back to dark, angry ones. you opened your mouth to say words, but none came out. what were you to say? what if he really got angry with you this time? but he had the right to know. and you knew that. after all, he was the father.

"i..I aborted it Konig.. it wouldn't have grown up with its real father anyways." you replied after a moment. you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. you knew all to well he wasn't going to have a pleased look on his face.

silence filled the large room until finally, he spoke up. "well. we can always try again." he said, turning to the chair at your desk. he rolled it out, sitting on it. "come here." he said, patting his lap. but you didnt move. he smiled, shaking his head. "always been defiant. I remember when we first got together I had to train that pretty little mouth of yours to not talk back to me. now look at you. thats what happens when you mess with boys, libeling. not men."

his words didnt bother you in an annoyed or angry way. unlucky for you, it made you clench around nothing. and he knew it did. he knew you loved being talked down on while being treated like a princess. he knew exactly how to turn you on and he was abusing that knowledge right now. " I bet you missed being thrown around, fucked like some worthless toy and then babied right after. dont you?" he stood from the chair, making his way back over to you. " you miss your mouth getting fucked, filled with cum. swallowing it all. making a mess on my dick.. fuck I think about it all the time. those pretty little eyes of yours looking up at me. mascara running down your face while I slide myself down that tight, tight fucking throat of yours." he said, looking down to your throat before quickly looking back into your eyes.

wet wasn't even the word to describe the situation going on in your underwear. you cursed yourself mentally for allowing him to talk to you like this. but you couldn't stop him. because he was right. your boyfriend, no matter how hard he tried, simply couldnt man handle you the way you loved. the way you needed. he was gentle, afraid to leave so much as a hickey on you. but he was slowly becoming more open to it, especially since seeing Konig pounding you from behind. he wanted you to stay, he didnt want you to move on to another. or back to Konig.

"Konig you need to leave.. im not coming back to you. you messed up far too man-"

" so let me make it up to you libeling.. lassen Sie mich um Sie kümmern.." he was now standing right infront of you, looking down at you. you couldnt look away. the way he spoke to you in his mother tongue turned you on, always. even if you couldnt understand every word, his deep voice and accent made it hot. his hand slid up your nursing shirt, gripping your covered breast. you bit down on your lip, closing your eyes. you couldnt give in. not this easy.

shoving his hand down, you stepped away. "Konig leave or ill call the police. ill write a restraining order anything to get you away from me." you finally said, fixing your shirt. "your so hot when you try to act all tough maus.. fuck its making me so hard." he said, pulling at his pants buckle. your eyes flickered down for a few seconds, but it didnt go unnoticed. "see dont fight it maus.. I know you want me to fuck that tight little pussy of yours. make you cum all over me. in this office of yours. you want me to fuck you on your desk huh?" he whispered, unbuckling his pants and slowly pulling his already hard dick out.

the tip literally dripped pre cum, dropping to the floor. it made you whimper, only fueling his craving for you. "Konig.. please leave." you whispered out, but it wasn't confident enough for him to believe. he smirked, turning down towards your chair once again. "maus dont you see how hard I am? I need you. I crave you." he said softly, eyes looking at you so "innocently".

his hand gripped the base of his dick, a sigh coming from him. he leaned over, spitting onto the tip and moving his hand down his shaft, slowly back up. a quiet groan left his lips, his head resting back and looking to you. he sped up his hand movements, keeping eye contact onto you. small, desperate whimpers slipped from his lips as his hips bucked up. "oh maus.. please~" he whimpered, his chest rising fast, falling at the same rate.

you whimpered at him, wanting to go and slide down on his dick. not matter how badly you wanted to keep up with the happiness you had in your life right now, you needed him. he saw your confusion and smiled, taking his other hand and reaching out. you hesitated, but slowly walked over to him. his movements slowed down, his eyes looking up at you. "please.." he whimpered.

you knew this was wrong. and you hated how much he always found a way to wrap you around his finger. how he always managed to get you beneath him, fucking into you relentlessly. and you hated how he always came back into your life when you were happy. you hated how badly you craved him, no matter how far away he was, or how bad he treated you.

you couldn't process anything until you felt him pull you down onto his lips. and you couldnt stop yourself from kissing him back. your hands cupped his face, forcing your tongue into his mouth. he smirked against your lips, pulling you onto his lap. you grazed over his exposed dick, sitting right front of it. you pulled away, a long strong of saliva connecting you two.

" maus.. i wanna fuck you so bad. please." he whispered, his hand sliding up your shirt, pulling your bra down and playing with your nipple. you whimpered, nodding your head quickly. "c-can I lock the door?" you whispered, looking down at him. but he was so focused on your nipples, and playing with himself that he same time. you assumed he didnt care, and continued to pull your shirt up and off.

he wrapped his arms around your waist and stood, sitting you on your desk. "imma fuck you... send you back home with my cum swimming around inside you. you want that?" he said, pulling your pants down. you hated how much you wanted to say yes. it was killing you. but the way his tip ran up and down your slit, teasing your entrance as he whispered filthy words into your ear, you couldnt help but whimper out a pathetic 'yes'.

thats all he needed to hear from you before he slid his full, thick length into your tight cunt, a deep groan coming from him as his head pressed against the top of yours. a gasp slipped from you, your hand covering your mouth. as hot as this was, fucking in your nurse office with the door unlocked, it was risky. in fact, you could loose your job. but he wanted that. he wanted you to have a reason to leave and go back with him, no matter how crazy or detrimental the reason. " so fucking dirty.. getting fucked on your office desk-shit- I bet you want someone to come in here and see this tight cunt getting fucked huh?" he whispered, gripping the back of your head, pulling it so your eyes met his.

he was hot. you couldnt admit it. the way he looked as he fucked you made you go feral. his hair sticking to the top of his forehead, eyes locked onto yours as small whimpers and groans left his pretty little lips. he could say the same for you. the way your tits jerked up and down every thrust he gave, your desk squeaking along with it. your hands gripping onto him as you gave him small, pathetic begs. "say it louder baby.. what do you want? be a big girl for me." he whispered, pulling his now shiny dick out, slamming it back into you. your hands gripped him harder as his grip on your head did too. "f-faster.. please" you finally were able to muster out.

his hips waited no time to move faster, feeling every vein and inch of his thickness move in and out of you. it was heaven. no matter how much you hated him, you couldnt stop yourself from letting him fuck you. anywhere. anytime. you guys were like magnets, no matter how hard you both tried you couldnt keep away from each other.

the more time went on, you realized the tears forming in konigs eyes. they weren't from pleasure either. " k-konig?" you asked, your hands falling to his lower stomach. but he kept going, no matter how hard you tried to stop him, he kept going. "I-i hate you.. so fucking much. I hate y-you because I know I c..I cant live with or without you-fuck.. I-i crave you even when I shouldn't.. I fucking hate you" he cried out, small whimpers coming every now and then from him.

for a moment you had to stop and think about what he just said. but, he didnt give you much time. the more his tears fell the faster and harder his thrusts became. the more aggressive he became. he let go of your head but pushed your body back, your bare back hitting the cold desk, pens and papers falling to the floor. "k-konig" your whimpered, your legs wrapping around his waist. "I-im gonna..cum soon..fuck!" he groaned, his head falling into your chest. his hot tears covered you and you could've sworn you heard 'mommy' fall from his lips every now and then. it made you clench around him seeing him so vulnerable, so emotional while fucking you.

he took one of your legs, pushing it up so your foot rested on top of the desk. his thrusts became deeper, the sound of your moans growing louder. his hand quickly found your mouth, silencing all the whimpers and moans that slipped from you. "m..mommy im cumming~" he cried out, his thrusts becoming more and more sloppy.

his sudden change in persona threw you off guard, but you liked it. too much. the closer he got the more he chanted 'mommy'. and you could tell, he was really close. "m-mommy I-ill hold it back.. ill hold it back till y-you cum first~" he whimpered into your chest, his arms finding your waist and pulling you up into him.

your hands quickly found his hair and tugged it, moaning how good you felt. "k-konig keep going.. im so close~" you moaned, your head falling back off the desk, eyes shutting closed. he growled, slamming deeper into you, stabbing your squishy g spot each time.

the knot in your stomach quickly came undone and not too long after, he came with you, his grip on you tight enough to snap you in half if he really wanted. he whimpered as the last bit of his cum shot into you, small 'plat plat's coming from beneath you two. he pulled out, watching the mix of cum pour out of you as if you were a waterfall, dropping to the floor.

heavy breathing filled the now silent room as you slowly lifted yourself up. "ill get you a paper towel." he said softly, shuffling over to the counter and grabbing the roll. he brought it over, getting to his knees and slowly, spreading your legs. taking the towel he ran over your pussy slow, collecting the cum. it was silent. you didn't know if you should bring up what he said, what he called you.

he sensed your tension and looked up at you from below. "I meant every word I said. I hate you. but I hate you because I love you too much to let you be someone else's. nobody.. nobody has ever made me this crazy.. ever. you've unlocked a part of me that I didn't know existed. I didn't know I had. my heart hurts seeing you happy with someone who isn't me, having a life with someone who isn't me. and what hurts more is to know I caused that." he spoke, his voice soft.

you looked down at him, your chest hurt. you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. "you dont have to say anything. ill leave you and your boyfriend alone." he stood, throwing the papers away. "im moving back to Germany." he said, looking down at you. and you couldnt lie, your chest felt like it was tightening. tears began to pool but you looked down.

" I leave in three days. I just.. wanted to say goodbye. I guess. I know you hate me, I know you want me to leave. and I love you enough to do anything that will make you happy. if you-"

your hands wrapped around his shirt collar and you pulled him down, slamming your lips to his. his large hands slammed against the sides of you, holding himself up. he immediately kissed back, moaning into the kiss. thats when the tears fell.

"please..please dont leave.." you whispered, pulling away. you looked up at him, looking for anything that said "I won't".. but his lips formed a small smile, his hand meeting your cheek. "your happier without me.. you know you are." "I dont c-care. I cant ha-have you not here. please"

the tears kept falling and he caught each one, flicking them from your face. " oh meine liebe.." he whispered, pulling you into a hug.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

2 years had passed. you were pregnant. again. getting married in a few months too. you were excited because you felt like you were happy, for real this time. you stayed in New York, working at a new school more uptown. it was great, you were happy now.

" okay chicken orrr steak?" you asked your fiancé, rubbing your baby bump as you stared into the fridge. your soon to be husband came behind you, kissing your neck and putting his hand on top of yours. "chicken. we can make Alfredo." he said. nodding, you grabbed the meat, putting it in the sink to defrost.

" ill go run you a bath and we can get ready to go to the bakery. im excited to taste all the new cakes." he said, taking your hand and kissing each knuckle. " me too. especially the Oreo one. pleaseee at least try it. for me." you pouted. "your gonna say no to your pregnant fiancé?" you smirked, pointing to your belly.

you were due exactly 3 months after your wedding. so you both decided now was the perfect time to get married before you both had no time. "I guess I cant huh." he laughed, opening the bedroom door. you sat at the edge, watching his tall stature move to the shared bathroom.

as you watched him from your bed you smiled, thinking of all you both had been through. maybe it was the hormones, but you felt the tears well in your eyes. and it didnt go unnoticed either. " meine liebe? whats wrong?" he asked horridly, rushing over and wiping the tears from your eyes. you smiled and shook your head, placing a high kiss on his cheek.

"I just love you a lot. thats all." you whispered. he smiled, lifting you bridal style before kissing you passionately back. " Ich liebe dich mehr, meine liebe."

| tried to be cool and only highlight when y'all knew he was speaking at the end hehehe anyways guys this is like.. the end! if you guys would want one where the outcome is different and she stays with her current boyfriend lmkk cause I can do that too. but yea like I said thank you all so much for the love on this mini series <333 |

[felidaefatigue]

craving human connection lately and i dont know how to go about solving it currently because ive isolated myself pretty fuckin hard and like... i am bad at building it from scratch. i know thats. kinda just like sucks to suck do it anyways but. winter is here so im even less likely to go anywhere to just kinda hope something happens. boy is my ride and we have opposing schedules so i cant do art markets anymore. no one talks to me at work and like. i dont want to start trying to hang around people who i miiiiight get along with just to have stilted ass conversation to try to get that going and the rest of them annoy the crap out of me because theyre arrogant jaded retirees. i have too many fucking hobbies i built up when i had to be self sufficient in isolation so i dont really want to introduce another to go out to even when i consider like a sport hobby. plus most of them are stupid expensive or require travel times that are just ridiculous.

sigh. i know i just gotta pick a poison and deal. but. im tired. im very greatful to the people online who reach out to me here and there and habe stuck around in any capacity through the years because like. i am a bad friend for most people im not good at keeping up my end of the bargain at all. and i dont blame people for not havin the energy to sustain something not adequately reciprocated. but i wish i was better at it and had any degree of a social circle cause it is exhausting trying to convince my stupid monkey brain its social needs are met when theyre not. i feel like the media trope of the insane person making garbage into dolls to talk to. not that im implying the people i do talk to are the dolls; that would be rude lmao. but like pasting over the gaps in my environment and just gaslighting my psychology into pretending its fine.

[mistydeyes]

hi! I saw you're doing pairings and was wondering if I could get one...? I'm 5'6, long brown hair and blue eyes. Im getting my BA in communications and minoring in journalism. I was on my high schools marksmanship team and I still go out and practice occasionally. I really enjoy writing and reading and I also play guitar. I'm definitely more socially awkward and prefer staying in rather than going out and I'm not the biggest fan of people in my personal space that I haven't already given permission to. I'm learning a few languages right now but I'm gonna be honest, it's not sticking very well...I dress in a mix of like 90s grunge, 70s rock and old man clothes and I listen to just about everything under the sun. I also love kids but don't want any bc I've seen enough to know that's not my thing (hopefully this is enough! I adore your writing so thank you in advance! <33)

König

(this was so cute and I got carried away so enjoy the read anon!)

How you met: Upon graduation, your gift was a trip across Europe. You were ecstatic as you had been attempting to learn as many travel phrases as you could. Vienna, Austria was your first stop and you made sure to do every touristy thing imaginable. You were on your way to try the famous Sachertorte cake when you were stopped by the sight of a music store. You ventured in, only planning on picking up a few of your favorite CDs as souvenirs. However, the store was massive and you were determined to go through every single shelf. By the first hour, you had finally found it, a 90s grunge CD you had been scouring Ebay for god knows how long. As you waited in the queue to pay, you could feel someone stand behind you. You paid him no mind until he spoke up, "Ich liebe das" he said softly, as to not startle you. "Ja," you replied, turning to him. He was a full foot taller than you and his soft voice threw you off from his tall, commanding demeanor. "Umm Ich habe," you began to say but forgot the words for "looking for this." "Ich habe looking for this," you said sheepishly. To this he laughed heartily. "Your German is quite good," he said and you felt embarrassed as his accent revealed he was a native of the country. "What you want to say is 'Ich habe danach gesucht'" he corrected and said the statement flawlessly. "Danke!" you said happily and he was glad you couldn't see as he blushed profusely underneath his face mask.

A peek into your relationship: After your run-in at the music shop, you saw König again and again. You thought it was uncanny but he was surprisingly helpful by being a human dictionary and tour guide. Unfortunately time flew and you were off to your next destination. You exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch on your travels. Now you were back at home, living by yourself and working at your journalist position. You missed König as you two became closer over time, two years had passed since Vienna and you hadn't been back. You even began to develop a crush after your late night chats and his daily "learn this German word" texts. Needless to say you were best friends even though thousands of kilometers separated you. As you texted him back, he simply said "I sent you a gift." You sent him a question mark before you heard your doorbell ring. You slowly got up and opened it to see König standing there with a record of that album you had bonded over so many years ago. "It's me, I'm the present" he said and you laughed at the surprise. "What are you doing here?" you asked. "Wanted to visit my favorite German student-" he replied. Maybe it was the way he looked at you or the way you could both feel the tension but you cut him off with a kiss. "Nun, jetzt bin ich froh, dass ich diesen Flug genommen habe" he said before you kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "I'm not that good, you're going to have to translate."

Translations

Ich liebe das - I love that one

Ja, Ich habe danach gesucht - Yes, I've been looking for this

Nun, jetzt bin ich froh, dass ich diesen Flug genommen habe - Well now I'm glad i took that flight

[misssakuramochi]

Hihi heres my info for the trade thx for trading for me

Persona 5 male matchup plz

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)

Mbti: infj

Enneagram: 2w1

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration (like make insensitive jokes or don’t consider the comfort of others or are mean just cause they can) people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)

Love language:

Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)

Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea

Thankie thankie

I match you with...

AKIRA

You two compliment each other so well!! On one hand, you're similar. On the other, you're balanced. I imagine you to be a driven person with a strong sense of justice - a quality the two of you share. It draws you together, and together there's nothing you can't accomplish. Both of you take care of each other when you forget to take care of yourselves and have a great support system in one another. While you can be a little scattered emotionally, Akira is more... stable I guess, if you're not offended by the term. He's your rock when things get too much, and you help him learn to express himself! Overall you're the scariest power couple out there tbh.

HEADCANONS

● Words of affirmation you say?? Akiras got you covered. He's quiet until you're alone, but he loves to smother you with compliments the second you are. Between making you blush and trying to boost your self esteem (he just wants you to see you the way he does) Akira never stops saying nice things to and about you.

● Phantom thief extraordinare, Akira WILL keep quiet and pretend not to be home when you are just to hear you sing. He loves hearing you habe fun. He also likes how flustered you get when you realize he's been there the whole time.

● Akira is normally really chill, but he turns into the most doting worry wart when you get an abdominal migraine! He's got water, the BRAT diet, buckets, meds, comfy blankets and pillows... he really goes over the top to make you even a little more comfortable. Basically turns into your personal servant tbh

● Don't like math tests? Akira's got you. He's very proficient with book learning and he's more than willing to put in a little extra work to help you. By which I DEFINITELY mean helping you cheat. He could tutor you, and would if you wanted, but why not get rid of the anxiety completely by just having Morgana signal the answers to you through the window?

[floofballsammy]

Talking about Monty and Glamrock Bonnie here.

FNaF Security Breach Ruin Spoilers

With Ruin showing us Glamrock Bonnie, it kinda just confirmed to me that Monty couldnt be the one decomissioning Bonnie. I mean, it never really made sense in the first place.

And I'm not going to take the Story from Ruin as evidence. That atill was clearly a fabrication by Fazbear Entertainment to cover up Bonnie's dissappearance.

Let's see. Often times I see people say he has the means and the motive. Means as in the claws (which we see a big claw mark on Glamrock Bonnie's chest) and motive to be the star (as people use the one stage in the golf course). Bonnie was also last seen in Monty Golf. And Monty also has anger issues.

However, that just doesnt make sense with what we learn with Monty in the base game?

He wouldn't have the claws at that point. And even if the timeline is a little iffy (since the note says decommissioned not missing, so i'm willing to concede if im wrong here), he doesnt attack with them anyways? He attacks mostly with his teeth (fun fact he does a death roll when broken) and has no record of attacking other people/robots. Just destroying his room and breaking fences. Someone who does have a record of destroying S.T.A.F.F. robots is Roxy (while the raceway wasnt functional). And someone who has a record for attacking employees and guests is Chica (over a food that was messing with her program).

His motive also doesnt add up with another message called 'Monty Mischief', where it is explicitly stated that Monty is missing main performances. He's rather on the catwalks at Monty Golf than on the main stage (even after breaking both legs there). So what about the stage in the Golf course? It seems to just imply personal beef with Freddy rather than anything else.

And while this is a bit of speculation, i wanna say that it seems his anger problems stem from being on the main stage. In a lot of the cut outs, he's more portrayed as this relaxed, layed back person. Which matches his attraction, Golf. There's also really no records of aggression or anything broken in Monty Golf. Actually, he starts breaking fences once he got the claws. And together with the Monty Mischief message it does feel like the main stage is the source of his stress, which turns into anger and him breaking stuff. But since Security Breach and Ruin really dont go in depth with Monty, it's really hard to judge his personality.

Well, Bonnie was last seen in Monty Golf (or atleast it was heavily implied). That whole message was weird to me. Not in a 'its hidden lore' or 'fake' kinda way, just a 'what happened?' kinda way. There's gaps spanning hours between the 3 locations, which makes me wonder what Bonnie was doing. What makes me wonder more is how Bonnie ended up in Bonnie Bowl? Now, I need another closer look at the surroundings and the carpet, but one thing that is certain is that a bowling ball smashed his head. How did a bowling ball get in Monty Golf? Why was it taken with him?

Or he was actually attacked in Bonnie Bowl.

Bonnie being attacked in Bonnie Bowl and not Monty Golf really seems obvious when you look at his body. And as for who killed him? I habe some reasons to believe its the Mimic.

First of all, as seen in the Mimic's jumpscare, he not only has the claws, but attacks with them. Literally look up the jumpscare. It's very obvious. Not only that, but it has been in the Pizzaplex for a very long time. And M.X.E.S. (Pegtrap) definetly hasn't been there to stop it from the beginning. The game seems to imply Gregory put that in place? But does that explain why a Fazwrench works on the nodes? I'm still unsure.

So it has the means. Does it have the motive?

Admitedly, I'm not as caught up with the books or the Mimic's philosophy, so I'm mostly going off the game here. And honestly, I dont know yet. It definetly seems something the Mimic would do, but since it was introduced at the end, we don't really know how it acts in the games. It's a big maybe from me.

I know this was a long long post, but I really wanted to get my thoughts out there. This whole situation is really interesting to me, and not a lot of people are looking into it. I also think Glamrock Bonnie is a bit more important lorewise than we think, with his weird connection to the cleaning bots (PatPats) and what the PatPats actually do in game (they not only mimic screaming children, but also voicelines of the other animatronics).

Honestly, feel free to debate me on this. I'm very open to hear other aguements or theories on this whole thing.

[gyahyahyahayhahayahyahyahyahyaha]

dreamt that i was walking into this target type of building but it was like a similar type of store. i walked in, someone i recognized started yelling their ass fof at me about being late to work and in that dream i realized “wig do i still work here?” and im like oh im on for today? right now? well damn i got my stuff so ill go get changed. and my manager? the person yelling at me huffed and asked me about the “affair”. she was talking about the outfit i was wearing. it was a type of magic that i had crafted to make my outfit look a certain way and it looked like ome of those super silk purple robes that youd see a rich widow wearing.

anyways the position at the store 🏬 was like a regular one except they had me working like lead role in some show that served as like an asvertisement for their company. it was like a full blown show and it was like a pretty good soap opera cuz if you didnt know youd habe no idea it was advertising for the store. so yeah i was the main character???? for some reason... and the main character was like this maid with this super frilly maid outfit kinda like this

and she was like ome of those characters that stumbled her way thru the story, into and out of problems. sje had good insight sometimes and was good at event planning and liked to run and read mysteries a lot. i guess it was a bit of a mystery soap opera cuz there were a lot of murders and other problems that shed end up solving cuz all the other characters were so caufht up in the surrounding melodrama that the only “mostlybut not really” uninvolved character had the time to think about what was goin on lol.

anyways they paid me for like an entry level position and i had to act out this character for the show on the set and in the store itself. the job overall sucked and like the store too but i kinda liked not habing to wear the stores normal uniform and the maid outfit allowed me to get away with fucking around and doing some other bullshit i absolutely would have not gotten away with otherwise. also i liked working on the show more thhan anything else. it was... fun.... despite eberything else.

anyways at this point i just got stopped at the entrance and havent gotten changed yet. so i make a dash back into the tunnels tha connect to the entrance and stsrt looking for a changeroom. the tunnels are like a swathing sea of people in these subway like tunnels. it was all white like a targets walls would normally be. with thst type of stone or brick thats been painted over. it was nauseating. it shared that same kind of miserable lighting too... anwyays i kept running into various people cuz there was so many around ir was impossible to not do so. and almost ebery single one i ran into kept aski nd me about “the affair”. i didnt bother to keep asking at this point. after feeling like id suffocate and die like this several times i made it to thechange room . which had the same pale white ceiling and walls and insufferable lighting and almost as many people inside as there were outside. but at least the changeroom was incredibly spacious... people still wouldnt stop asking me a bout “the affair” until i managed to erect a barrier of boxes and linen in a corner so i could change in relative peace.

when i changed into my outfit i was no longer at the store. i was already wearing something else and i found myself at some type of gathering at some kind of (ski?)lodge

i remember hurrying to orepare a swimming outfit and some backup outfits for after and while i was doing that i was talking to someone about fortnite? while also preparing for some event

oah yeah it was one of those collective borthday events for people who had birthdays in the same month. far as i remember there were only 3 ppl there whos birthdays were beinf celebrated for that month. it was wierd cuz like after all the prep and setup and everything eberyone is more or less gatheredon one end in this dining hall amidst all thr serving tables full of food... and then my grandmother? (maybe?)start singing happy birthday. she gets like 2 lines out before she interrupts herself to start reciting a speech which felt like a suuuuuuuper uninportant thank you to thr “sponsors” she was reading advertisements. i looked at the guy whose name was mentioned in the first two lines of the song we were singing, miguel, and he was kinda just looking around expectantly. felt bad for him... most of the people who were gathered up before were suddenly no longer in sight cept for a few stragglers. thats what it felt like. the few left behind were just wandering aroujd aimlessly. not even chatting or eating. there were two ppl who was i was talking with on one end of the hall. i said, smth like “this kinda fucking sucks” and this one lady walked up to me and very excitedly agreed and the guy sitting in his chair handed me his phone and showed me his web page. it was pretty cool. it had this really cool pixelized style of colouring using various hues of green and brown that looked really good together. i looked thru his page while talking to both of them and as i did images of this dark builfing with spotlights occasionally hitting it started filling my mind like a vision ior clairvoyance or smth. it was a weird clustered snd complicated buildinf. i wish i remembered enough about how it looked to draw it.

the 3 of us kept talking to eachother and we realized we all got along pretty well so at some point the lady was like “hey why domt we fuck around and make our own birthday celebration since they dont seem interested in starting anytime within our lifetimes lol” and both me and the guy were like yeah thats a great idea. the guy in the chair dodnt really say much very often bur the 3 of us were all on the same page so while the lomg ass speech was s to ll goin on we dragged out a circular table, found a normal sized cake and surrounded it with plates and bowlls of food we were planning on eating. we were practically making new dishes and soups an stuff with all the combinations we were making. once all the food was ready we just interrupted and started singing happy birthday to miguel while the 3 of us held hands round the table. im not sire if he heard us since he was sitting relatively nearby my grandmother(?) who was kinda still droning on...

the 3 of us were having fun and were enjoying our newfound friendship we had forged . i think i woke up around then

[1-deadgirlwalking-1]

11/3/2024

MY SCHOOL KEEPS HAVING EVENTS TO GO TO THE AQUARIUM BUT IT’S ALWAYS EVERY SINGLE TIME AT THE EXACT SAME AQUARIUM THAT IS 3 HOURS AWAY, I WANNA GOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!1!!1! PICK A DIFFERENT ONE THAT IS CLOSER TO ME FOR ONCE, THERE ARE A DOZEN AQUARIUMS IN OUR STATE. GOSH. I CANNOT DRIVE SIX HOURS FOR A SINGLE DAY ONE EVENT TRIP!!!!!! let me see the FISHIES !!!!!!

but anyway, as a recap:

The friend I said blocked me because I scared him away had actually done so because he got with an abusive girl who forced him to block literally everyone, including MY MOM. MY MOTHER. After he broke up with her he unblocked me and explained the situation and now we’re back to being #besties forever again. I got in a QPR with the friend who’s play I went to and then we “broke up” (I said I wasn’t comfortable with dating anymore and expressed that I didn’t want it to change our relationship, which they said it wouldn’t. Real SHOCKER that didn’t happen. Though I don’t believe they are “in the wrong” for this, they can’t control their feelings.) and now we aren’t talking much anymore. BUT I’ve been texting this SUPER cool person I met a year ago and got to speak to again at their joint birthday party. They’re so awesome and I wanna be bestest friends but it’s difficult cause they live so far awayyyy. ):

And now currently:

I’m tired. I’ve gotten better, I’ve improved in the past few months. I’ve improved significantly even from the days when I was talking about how I’ve gotten so much better. I am constantly consistently improving whether or not I’m able to notice it at the time. I know this logically. But right now I’m in a depression. I had a manic episode a minute ago and now I am quite depressed. My sleep is whack, my eating is just as bad, my hygiene is getting worse. There was a point a little bit ago where I was consistently sleeping well and brushing my teeth daily, which was insane bcus I didn’t even think that was possible. But because I always let my bipolar get the best of me and refuse to medicate I’m back to the habits I’ve always had.

To show how I’ve felt, because I’m too tired to articulate it all over again, here’s a copy-paste of some messages I sent to my best friend on 10/22, 13 days ago:

“this morning mama made me come into her room to work on my schoolwork while i was tired and annoyed, cause i have two late assignments, and it made me wanna get worse to like “punish” her or something. (edgy.) like oh im not doing good enough? im not doing as well as i was earlier in the year? im doing everything wrong and you need to supervise me to make sure im actually working when i want to sleep because im tired and dont want to be alive? well what if i starved and starting hurting myself again fucking god just let me sleep i dont want to exist but i have to get up and get on my stupid eye bleeding computer because mama isnt “doing this with me anymore” and says i cant sleep all day and stay up all night and i need to get all of my schoolwork done every day. which i logically understand is because she cares about me and wants me to listen to her and doesnt want me to spiral and get in a terrible place but i feel like what is even the point.”

“why do i do anything whats the point of being alive i hate doing anything and everything except being with my friends and thats barely something i get to do. i just want to sleep forever nothing makes me really actually happy or content anymore. why am i even alive. im really depressed right now if you csnt tell i think im habing an episode”

“manic goes straight to depression sigh”

“i hate being bipolar im gonna fucking kill myself” (/nsrs)

I was improving about this mentally, feeling better again. But me and my mom had another chat about my parents possibly getting divorced, which is something we’ve had discussions about for a while. Just me and her. And I have known in my heart, that despite what she says; My father will most likely not get better or improve and she will divorce him one day, I just don’t know when that day is. And I’ve been content with that because I know if it did happen a lot would change but it would be for the best, and all I want is for my parents to be the happiest they can be, living the best lives they can. If my mother were to make that decision it’d be because it was the only choice to protect her safety health and wellbeing, she would never do something like that lightly. But when we were talking she said if they got divorced they’d have to sell the house and we’d most likely move into an apartment, which made me start crying because I wasn’t aware of that. I’d never thought of that. That they wouldn’t be able to afford it anymore.

And now because of that, I’m currently feeling like. What’s the point of anything. Why do I even exist. Why do I do the things that make me happy if I’m just going to lose it all tomorrow. What will I even have by then. I’m going to lose everything, I’m going to lose my parents marriage and my house and my entire livelihood. There’ll be no chance for me at that point, the only reason I’ve been improving is because I’ve been here in a safe comfortable place. The whole ordeal is going to ruin me. And it’s going to be all my fault because everything is always my fault.

I’m so tired. I just want. To sleep. It’s 1:03 AM. So I will.

[zquicv]

why cant it be easier to kill urself like genuenly why does it habe to be hard i want to just be able to fal lasleep and die liek that i want it to just all be over already any time i get any of my hopes up it just all comes crashing down even why things are already bad and theres one bit of hope that things might be abel to be good and i hold out for a month because i cant learn my leson and just give up on hoping already even now haveing all of that stupid hope ruined im still sitting here hopeing that im wrong and im over reacting and that its gonna turn on fine not even good just fine i dont want to be happy anymore i just dont want to be as missurable as i am everyday like am i really that bad and hard to love whats wrong with me why cant people stand me itd be fine if everytime i meet soemone new they dont try and give me the hope that theyll be different and tell me they won leave but they do every single guy tells me he wont leave he loves me no matter how little ive known him for he always tells me he loves me and he doesnt care about everythign thats wrong with me but the second its not convinient for them that all changes and they get sick of me and it happens so offten that i can tell when its happening at this point id be happy if i find some creep on the street who takes me home and strangels me to death as long as he says he loves me while he does it i think thats why i love jh1n cause he not real he cant leave me, i can pretend he loves me as much as i want and he wont let me down if i have a break down mentaly then i can pretend he'll still be there for me hes not gonan judge me or hate me for the same things i already hate about myself i just want someone tel be able to love me but at this point i think its impossible to do and i jsut want people to stop giving me hope so i cant die already and finnaly feel better

[changbinsboobs]

Do you think any of skz has potentials of becoming yandere or like obsessed in general?!

Omg i can't believe what just happened Tumblr deleted my whole Chan reading i habe to do it all over again😭😭😭😭😭 and i don't have the cards anymore😭 i fucking hate it here😭

Who in Skz has a potential of becoming obsessed?

Chan - his reading was so long im so angry😭 what i said was basically how he has a lot of responsibilities and things to do that have way more weight and importance for him so there's not enough time or space in his mind to even begin obsessing iver other les simportants tuff. Even if he would he would quickly be taken out of it as more importants stuff already knocks on the door. Aside from that his job is actually a great outlet for him and despite him being very perfectionistic and a workaholic which in itself is not healthy - this card still points out how music and creativity is what brings him pease and is a source of release for him so i kinda get him why he's so focused on work and drowns himself so much into it - because for him its not work its his peace, its his joy, his relief. So yeah not seeing any potential for becoming obsessed or yandere cuz he has an outlet to channel any unwanted emotions and he also has many other much important things to take him out if other spirals he might come into so he doesn't even get the chance to become obsessed.

Lee Know - for him im not getting that either. He also has better things to do. He knows bery well what brings him joy and how to put himself back on track and regulate his emotions to stabilize himself. I don't see anything going out of control, spiraling, or whatever. Also if he were to be rejected, instead of going after that thing/person even more, hold grudges etc - he's more someone that stays in the shadows, takes it like a champ, cries on his own, oats himself on the back and continues on, maybe with some hurt inside him still but he goes on not really looking like it affected him. And soon the hurt gets relieved too, instead of it he fills himself with good things and soon the hurt is forgotten. In short - he accepts his fate and moves on. Not seeing anything about dangerous obsession.

Changbin - not seeing anything like that with him either. Spoiler alert - not seeing that with any of the guys actually. But for changbins case he does ponder on things more, probably takes much longer for him to swallow rejection, or abandonment or similar. He does think of it a lot, may even get gloomy or depressed for a little while. If we're talking about obsession in terms of not being able to get something out of your head then yeah he shows that definitely. But nothing that exceeds the mind and turns into action, also nothing harmful or dangerous in any way. He just thinks about what ifs and analyzing what went down, why it happened like that, etc. He always finds himself at the end tho, and finds peace and stability within himself and finds love and joy around him, often hurts like that fueling him even further for life, making him feel even stronger and more determent to be even bigger and even better.

Hyunjin - not seeing that with hyunjin either. Im seeing childish wonder and disappointment next to each other. I believe this means his naivety and readiness to jump into things and love fast and easily is often a source of depletion and disappointment for him. Either he becomes disappointed cuz whatever he liked isn't actually the way he thought and his expectations aren't met, or whatever attachment he felt wasn't reciprocated. For that im seeing victim complex and visciousness in terms of coping so instead of becoming obsessed and dangerous he rather becomes bitter and maybe even a bit hateful for a period of time towards that person or situation, being sharp and merciless with his words, holding tight onto the feeling that he was wronged and betrayed, being a victim of someone heartless that now deserves to bear the heaviness of his disappointment and wrath. Despite that not sounding very not-obsessive, the energy here doesn't seem really dangerous or malicious. Its more annoying that dangerous (if you're on the receiving end).

Han - here is the only...concern i had. The energy isn't very heavy, theres not any...dangerous action per say...but this is the only pile where i feel malisciousness in any way. Where theres potential that it COULD get to an extreme. Thats the only pile that gows beyond the mind or beyond words and im actually seeing readiness for action. This tho touches more on anger rather on anything and as for the most the heavy emphasis was on romantic relationships, here im not seeing that at all. Im seeing him wanting revenge on people that have disrespected, wronged, ridiculed him etc. he wants them to pay the price for their wrongdoings and is ready to take it in his own hands or leave someone else taking care of it for him. Now if thats something he just wants to do in a moment of anger or if he really has potential to take revenge in his own hands is unclear and i think ill leave it like that. Going back to the initial question - this doesn't give yandere vibes, maybe not even obsession - it just gives innability to regulate anger properly (honestly i feel u buddy) and maybe even overreacting with his anger in that sometimes its something small t he gets a huge tantrum and is ready to fight and its reslly inappropriate. Or something happens in 2022 and for some reason he failed getting angry back then so he carries his anger all this this time and suddenly this issue gets brought up again in a completely normal manner and "out of nowhere" he bursts out in an angry outrage and throws a tantrum. Or is continuously viscious towards someone for no apparent reason because once 10 years ago that person made a comment about his new haircut that he didn't like and he felt vulnerable and he's been making that person pay for the last 10 years cuz it hurt him so much back then. - all of those were just made up examples to describe what i mean by paying back, holding on grudges etc.

Felix - No. Not at all. He takes it all like a champ and i see him looking for support and connection with the people around him and he balances himself out like that, im also seeing him having some sort of innate yin and yang balance in him, in the way that he has of both good and bath, in a perfect balance. Idk how to explain that energy as it is so unique but in short im not seeing bad intentions, obsessive dangerous tendencies or anything. He seems very connected to the divine and has an innate compass of wrong and right, can regulate himself pretty quickly IF the crowd he's surrounded with is good (which for now im seeing it is). And any rejection or hurt or whatever that happens - he takes like a champ.

Seungmin - not seeing that here either, although he's not really answering my question. He says he's graceful and a respectable gentleman (im seeing bridgerton men😂) He says he's a lover and theres no usw for him to act crazy or be maliscious. He's of good value and he can get himself somethign good with ease so theres no use waisting prescious time and energy, lowering himself beyond his own standards.

I.N - not seeing anything like that either. He seems very peaceful and stable despite what. He has a strong, secure and very stable inner core that can not be shaken easily. He has a very positive and uplifting attitude towards life and himself and chooses to see the positive rather than the negative. He actively chooses good and maintains and builds this beliefs and this huge fort he's standing on. Build with trust and smiles and laughter. Those are very very positive, good & stable cards idk what else to add i really don't see anything of that sort with him. Not even potential for that. Not even potential for thinking about it even i think doesn't understand that at all how some people can get themselves to a point where they act like that.

[journalofabrokenheartedvirgin]

Page 72 (part 2)

It would be incredibly embarrassing if I was the only one who was nervous and thats what ive always feared, that I will always be the one who is flustered and they (he) is not, because to me, that just means he has that effect on me and has control over my emotions, that I am the naive girl that he can make nervous without also feeling it. Sarah says I have him wrapped around my finger which I dont think is true but I guess I never know. I feel like im around his, which also scares me and although he has respected my boundaries and will continue to, im so scared that to think that at some point I will have to do things with him. Not that I dont want to but just that im still working out my sex issues  and I cant even kiss him yet cause im so nervous and even though ive wanted a boyfriend forever and know that I would eventually get to that point, I havent really think about that fact too much and that I may be getting into my first real relationship. I habe now had to think about seriously because even though I know he will go slow, it will have to happen or he will get impatient and leave and I dont want that. I just truly just want to be loved and I think have an actual shot here for it and I dont want to mess it up. I like him so much and I think he would be a great boyfriend and I would hope that I could be a good girlfriend for him because he deserves all the happiness. I think my family would really like him too which makes me happy. Ive never met a guys parents before in a romantic way and hes told me that I would meet them which scares the shit out of me, I would really want them to like me, especially his grandpa and brother since he is so close to them. His asshole stepdad scares me but not in the, I have to meet my boyfriends parents way, but in a he is a sexist and homophobic way. I dont really care about what he thinks, just the important people in his life. I really do hope this continues to go so well where I get to the point that I meet them. He is truly one of the best men I have ever met and I am so excited at the prospect that he might want to actually date me because I really want to date him.

[llicorice]

ok no actually. ranting under the cut

do you have any idea what i endured to get to this state? because this disorder is formed when you experience childhood trauma extreme enough that your brain isnt able to solidly form a single personality and is instead broken into different parts, creating alters. this disorder goes hand in hand with CPTSD you cant have one without the other, i have to deal with constant derealization, dissociation, flashbacks, panic attacks etc etc etc and people STILL water it down to the silly alter disorder and genuinely think of the demonization in media as an accurate representation INCLUDING MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS???? like when i told my therapist she said "oh like split i love that movie" are you SERIOUS???? i see medias get "cancelled" online constantly for things like misrepresentation of autism and spreading misinformation but i have never once seen someone call out danganronpa for its extreme mistreatment of dissociative identity disorder. the blatent demonization of a system in that media is disgusting and nobody EVER talks about it????? like ik we are extremely fictive heavy and it can seem fun that we're peoples "favorite characters" and we have memories of our sources, but in reality its because we are psychotic, autistic, and physically unable to cope with reality, we genuinely would be considered "clinically insane" if that was still a term bc i have no baseline for what is and isnt reality im not remotely joking about that btw. (and if people could stop misusing the word delusional thatd be nice)

it also pisses me off that people cant seem to understand the fact that systems are not here for entertainment and our brain is coping in the same way yours is just more extreme, people constantly fakeclaim systems for having lots of fictives then they turn around and have comfort characters, like you do know thats part of what a lot of fictives are right? being there for comfort, familiarity, your brain knows you like that thing so it puts it in your head to help you feel better. because again, its a trauma disorder?? people just dont seem to remember that systems are extremely traumatized individuals whos system is an extreme coping mechanism and not just a silly accessory, and i rly wish information was more widespread and coming from actual professionals or systems. anyways rant over yada yada system rambling blah blah blah nyco out

EDIT THE SAME GOES FOR NPD ITS A TRAUMA DISORDER IM NOT AN ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT BC I DONT HABE NORMAL FEELIMGS IM STILLA PERSON OK BYEEEEEEE

i wish ppl would stop treating DID like the silly alter disorder when its actually pain suffering and agony disorder

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

.

[multifandomhoodies]

scrungles

[thespace-dragon]

Nothing like trying to call your mom in the middle of the night and leaving a sobbing voicemail for her to wake up to because I'm a dumbfuck and completely forgot that it's basically the middle of the night and my mom is asleep.

Like everything is fine, totally fine, totally called for no reason. Don't worry mom I'll be fine