#i feel like my body is dying on me i have constant aches in my stomach that feel like period pains but im not even on my period

[luveline]

i'm missing coworker!james so much... is he doing okay?

James is poorly :( fem

James is a cruel kind of ill. Desperate to escape the dreaded ‘man flu’, he tries hard to portray the common cold. Doesn’t whine, groan or moan, simply suffers the near constant sneezing and his twinging neck without comment. 

Luckily, he has two —two! because you like him enough to be concerned! barely!— nice deskmates who ply him with tea and worry alike. 

“Did you take that antihistamine?” Remus asks. 

“I did, yeah. You watched me take it an hour ago and try as I might, I haven’t regurgitated it yet.” 

“Don’t be disgusting, he’s just worried,” you say. 

A month ago, you might’ve said it with deep, genuine ire. James annoys you and his choice of imagery is hardly workplace appropriate, but for some reason you’re good to him lately. You’re softening, and why shouldn’t you be? James is a boy worth softening for. 

He sneezes hard into a tissue in his palm and knocks the desk, sending his small crowd of figurines skittering, their light green bodies scuffed with scratches. They fall over each day. You like rearranging them. 

You also like feeding James biscuits, and pretending you don’t like him. Or maybe pretending you do. It’s hard to tell what’s real. 

“Jesus,” he says, forgetting to be demure as he drops his forehead against his closed fist. “I can’t take it much longer.” 

“You need to calm down, is all. Every time you sneeze you trigger the inflammation in your nose, which makes you more likely to sneeze again,” Remus says. He doesn’t sound particularly pitying, but he does then stand to grab James’ mug as he heads to the kitchen. 

In an office made up of mostly Brits, it’s extremely common for everyone to make one another a tea or coffee when they get one for themselves, but it’s a sweet gesture for Remus to keep James topped up nonetheless. It also provides for moments like this: you and him alone. Not awkward anymore. 

“Do you have painkillers?” he asks.

You open the drawer of your desk and offer him your pouch. “Here.” 

Inside are many things. A box of lil-lets, plasters in sterile wrappings, throat soothers, ibuprofen, a treasure trove of cures for little ailments. 

“Just, help yourself to anything you want.” 

“You’re an angel.” James unveils a shiny purple chocolate bar. “I can have Freddie?”

“Freddo,” you correct. “Come on, James, it’s on the packet.” 

He doesn’t truly want it. He doubts he could taste it, and he drops it back in. 

“Oh, no, you can have it!” you say, softer. “I’m just being pedantic.” 

“Thanks, but I don’t think I can do chocolate right now.” 

“Right, um… well, I have a sandwich?” 

“What kind of sandwich?” he asks. 

“One of those impossible BLT’s. But I can get you a proper sandwich, James. They have those sesame seed rolls in the vending machine.” 

James doesn’t understand why you’re being so nice to him. “I must look awful,” he murmurs, letting his aching, pulsing head drop onto the desk. He sniffs uselessly. Fuck, he hates work. Why can’t he go home?

“You never look awful,” you say. 

James turns his face to see you’ve lowered your own, resting your cheek in your hand, your knuckles grazing the table. 

“You’re being too nice to me. I’m dying.” 

“You’re the one who’s mean to me, James. I’m your unwilling victim.”

“As opposed to being my willing victim.” James hates being ill, his lips are dry and his throat feels sharp and he’s changed his mind, he does want the Freddo. “Please be nice to me again.” 

“You know what’s good for this? Nasal spray. That’ll fix you.” 

“You could fix me,” James says. You don’t answer. He presses his nose to the table. “My days are always good ones when you can't be bothered to pretend you don’t like me.” 

“Who says I’m pretending?” 

James whines. “That’s worse.” 

You tease a bit of his hair behind his ear. James is content to let you, content to never move again, balmed by the softness of your touch as you draw along the outline of his ear to his jaw. “Don’t press your glasses into your nose, you’ll start sneezing again,” you whisper. 

James refuses to move. “Stroke my hair,” he demands.

“No way.”

“You’re no fun.”

“But I’m having a much better day than you are.” 

He sulks. This is exactly why James hides your stuff and leaves you off of email chains you should probably be in. You’re horrible, awful, evil, with no sympathy for him and no friendliness, either. James was far better off when he was solely annoyed at you, and not whatever useless state of being this is where his mood depends on your willingness to make friends. If James could, he would—

“Are you okay?” you say, your voice as soft as your fingertip where it traces slowly through his curly hair. “Maybe you should go home and rest. I’m worried about you…” 

James might fall in love with you if you keep whispering sweet stuff like that. You hesitate at the nape of his neck before dragging your hand up through a tuft of curls. 

“If you don’t get better soon, your voice will go and I’ll have to talk to Lang and Co. on the phone again. You know I hate their finance team leader,” you finish. 

You sound so pretty that James almost misses your slight. Then decides he’ll allow it as long as you keep stroking his hair.  —

coworker james au

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

❤️

You're tired of hearing about Eddie's crushes, hiding your feelings for him. Sick of feeling second best, you decide to move on.

Beer, a pool, and a very handsome Steve Harrington happens. Eddie isn't so thrilled about the Steve part.

Just a lil two parter to get back into writing

Part one

Eventual Eddie Munson x Reader

Steve Harrington x Reader

Don't copy, reuse or repost my work

❤️

It was a rainy Tuesday when Eddie broke your heart. Unknowingly, but it was broken all the same.

He had came to the Hellfire table in a suspiciously good mood. Beaming smile, eyes shining with happiness.

Turns out he had ran into Jessie who was his newest crush, she was the coolest, most badass babe on the planet according to Eddie.

This had been repeated constantly for the last few weeks and usually you were able to smile politely, pretend you weren't dying inside hearing him talk about his dream girl.

It had been this way for a year now, through multiple crushes, a few hook ups and one near potential girlfriend for Eddie, so you could push yourself to be happy for him one more time right?

No, today it was like your heart finally had enough, a deep ache was building inside you and felt like all the pain was exploding inside of you all at once.

Tears pool in your eyes and you catch the sympathetic look that Dustin throws in your direction. It's enough to sober you up instantly.

You didn't want to constantly pine over Eddie when he didn't want you, it was agony being so completely smitten with someone who noticed every woman but you.

It was like something in you just snapped and you had enough.

"Hey princess, you okay?" Eddie's voice breaks through your reverie and you startle a little as he peers at you intently with his big brown eyes.

His hand is on yours and your whole body feels alight at just his slightest touch, it was getting harder and harder to hide your feelings, Eddie could be extremely perceptive when he wanted to be.

You needed to get over how you felt about him and soon, because you were sick of the constant heartache, second guessing yourself and feeling second best to Eddie's crushes.

Moving on would be a good thing. You couldn't take it if Eddie ever found out how you felt about him, embarrassment burns inside of you just thinking about his reaction, and how awkward Hellfire would be due to his rejection.

No, it was best for everyone if you found a way to get over Eddie.

❤️

Normally you didn't go to parties, especially not parties on a school night. However, there was a small part of you that wanted a change, to have some fun and let loose.

One of Jason's friends was throwing a party at his house, there was beer kegs, wine coolers and the biggest pool you had ever seen in your life.

Eddie was at the party to do his usual dealings, he catches your eye and looks stunned for a brief second.

"What are you doing here sweetheart? Parties aren't usually your thing?" you shrug and grab a bottle of beer.

"Just wanted a change of scenery I guess" it's then you notice that Jessie was also at the party and Eddie had noticed judging by the way his eyes light up.

Your heart sinks and you're about to make an escape until Eddie tugs on your hand.

"Hey, maybe you should stick close to me incase one of Jason's dipshit friends tries anything" you smile, touched at his protectiveness but you know deep down he'd rather be talking to Jessie than trailing after you all night.

"It's okay. I saw Robin by the pool so I'll go and chat to her for a bit" he's about to say something else but Jessie comes over and takes up all of his attention.

Yup, it's definitely your time to leave. There's no way you wanted to be around for Eddie making googly eyes at Jessie.

❤️

Between the pounding music, Eddie and Jessie and the fact you've lost Robin in the crowd, it was safe to say that the first hour of the party was a bust.

By the second hour you had gotten involved in a game of beer pong with Robin, Steve, Vickie and a few others.

At first you were kinda wary hanging out with Steve but you soon found out that he had changed so much from the King Steve of a few years ago.

He's kind, funny and kind, genuinely a good guy and him and Robin are like two peas in a pod. Platonic besties with a capital P she tells you and Vickie.

It's nice hanging out with them because everytime you see Jessie and Eddie together it needled at the ache in your heart.

Eddie joins in at one point but seems tense.

"Why are hanging out with Harrington?'' he hisses under his breath and you scowl.

"He's really nice" Eddie scoffs at this.

"Preppy, rich, douchebag? he's seen dating total babes every few weeks." you stiffen.

"Of course so why would he be seen with me right?" you ask heatedly and his eyes widen.

"That's not what I meant... You're beautiful sweetheart..." yeah but just a friend you finish his sentence in your head.

"Just forget it Eddie, go back to Jessie" you hurry away from him and curse yourself for getting so upset.

Steve notices and asks if you want to hang out in the pool.

It's quieter outside than in the house, people are just lazing around lightly buzzed, lost in their own conversations.

Steve makes you laugh by jumping in the pool fully clothed, he lets out a yell when he hits the water.

"Fuck, its freezing" and you swear you hear Robin calling him a dingus. The thought makes you smile.

"So Munson huh?" Steve asks gently and your smile vanishes.

"Mmm, tonight was my big plan to get over him. Didn't work out so well" There's a brief moment of silence that's broken when Steve takes you by surprise and you're suddenly in the pool beside him, soaking wet and torn between laughter and exasperation.

"Steve!" you huff out and his answering smile tugs at your heart. There's also something you didn't expect, a spark.

He moves closer to you and it's like the two of you are magnets. Steve strokes your cheek and his lips meet yours.

It's nice, it's really really nice and you moan softly as Steve gently tugs at your lower lip, deepens the kiss and pulls you even closer.

Steve pulls away and you both exchange a secret, shy smile at the moment you had.

You kiss him again and this time it's a little more hot and heavy. Only this time when you come apart, you're not alone.

Eddie has just come outside. He's staring at you and Steve, his expression blank but you notice something stirring deep in his eyes, a flash of emotion that you can't place.

Then it's gone and he storms back inside..

🖤

[tomieafterdark]

begging for a dilf! toji or neighbour! toji drabble / fic

pairing: dilf!toji x babysitter!fem!reader

18+ mndi

You were laying down on Mr.Fushiguro’s new plush couch, the cold fabric pressing against your bare lower back, aching for the clock to strike midnight so you could finally go home. The boredom was practically killing you, babysitting on a school night turned out to suck more than you had anticipated. It was only 9pm and his kid was sound asleep, meaning you had around 3 hours of nothing to do. You nearly fell asleep too but the way your phone started buzzing in your back pocket woke you up. You were caught in a trance for a second, you had not had any action for so long, even simple vibrations from your phone made you feel something. 

The buzzing eventually stops and you are out of your trance, back to reality. You arch your back, fishing your phone out of the back pocket of your bell bottom jeans to see what all the fuss is about. It is just the group chat freaking out about something, you decide to check it out. 

You are practically blasted with messages once they see that you are online, nearly making your phone freeze. 

“Did someone die, what the hell is going on..” you think to yourself, trying to scroll up. The constant spamming makes it hard and eventually you give up, waiting for everyone to shut up so that someone can explain what is going on. 

THE GC

Y/n: Now that you guys finally stfu, can someone please tell me what happened??

Friend number one: Okay okay everyone be quiet, I will tell Y/n what’s up. 

Y/n: Go on, I am dying to know. 

Friend number two: sends meme JDSHJDK SORRY I misclicked- 

Friend number one: LMFAO stop it before Y/n kicks you out of the gc. 

Y/n: … 

Friend number one: My bad, okay so Y/n long story short I was stalking the sexy dilf you keep babysitting for and I found some very sexy pictures of him from when he was 22. I kind of understand why you keep babysitting for him now. *skull emoji*. 

Friend number two: Y/n, you are not slick. 

Y/n: I do not go there because of his appearance, but whatever. Go on. 

. 

Friend number one: Yeah keep telling yourself that, anyways I won't keep you waiting here are the pictures. You can thank me for them, because they were the results of my stalking skills.. *spams pictures of a shirtless young Toji partying in Okinawa Island*

You cannot believe your eyes, this man aged like fine wine. You have never appreciated Friend number one as much as you do right now, there are several pictures of a shirtless Mr.Fushiguro on vacation. You quickly save every single one and leave the group chat faster than you can blink, somehow being there made you feel flustered and staring at them alone in your camera roll felt better. 

You feel like a creep but you cannot stop staring and zooming in on body parts, he had this killer body since age 22 if not sooner...One year younger than you are now. You cannot stop imagining what could have been if you had been born sooner, how early 20s Mr.Fushiguro’s chemistry would have been like with you. He seems so reckless and wild in these pictures, you can see the chaotic glimmer in his eyes. 

You had never been able to admit this to yourself, but something about those pictures made you let loose and accept reality, which is that you find him very attractive. You had never seen him shirtless but his shirts were always tight and did not leave enough to the imagination. Though whatever you had seen of Mr.Fushiguro was nothing compared to those shirtless island pictures, they made you feel things you didn't know you could feel. 

The groupchat is very active again, pulling you out of your fantasies about the dilf. You give the group chat one last look to see if you missed any pictures and it seems you did not miss anything, the topic has changed from Toji to something else, and it does not interest you one bit. However, thanks to them, you get a very creative idea on what to do and finally kill some time…

You dim the lights and turn your phone notifications on, unzipping your pants as you slowly slide your phone down there. You keep it on top of your underwear, the vibrations from it are strong enough anyways. You shudder from how cold it is, even though it is not touching your skin directly the cold was enough to send shivers down your core. As the notifications start piling up, you adore the group chat more and more. Their notifications create a symphony and you catch yourself lost in it, buckling your hips to it and letting out small moans here and there. 

Your imaginations become so vivid as you get lost in the ecstasy, so much so that you can faintly hear his voice. It sounds like he is on the phone again, makes sense your brain would imagine him like that since he is always on the phone talking to someone. He does not even talk to you most of the time you get paid, he just hands you the money while giving you a nod and you leave. A sick little part of your mind wonders if he ever checks out your ass while you walk away, and if his imaginations stop there or if they go even further..does he ever imagine abusing those tight little holes of yours? You can not stop your mind, it keeps going further down the gutter, you imagine him using your holes for his pleasure and his pleasure only and it makes you feral. The thought of him filling you up with cum, not stopping after that but simply moving on to your next hole and brutalizing that one instead is pushing you over the edge. You are so close to cumming, completely lost in your own world but just as you are about to climax you feel a big cold hand push your stomach down. 

“I don't think I am paying you to be a whore, now am I?” His cold tone drags you down to earth very quickly, reality starts to kick in and all you can think of is how to avoid getting fired. Your mind is on fire trying to come up with an excuse but nothing comes out. You are so shocked you have not even taken your phone out or anything, like a deer in headlights you stay the way he caught you. 

He takes a seat next to you on the couch, staring at you intensely. He is so tall and huge compared to you, it fills you with butterflies but they are quickly overshadowed with fear and shame yet the lust does not seem to fully leave. Him catching you has made you more wet, you are doing your best at avoiding his eyes as you try to blurt out some excuse but he quickly abrupts you. 

“Don't bother using your empty head to come up with an excuse, just tell me the truth.” Toji reaches over you, fishing your phone out of your pants and you still have not moved. Though your internal dialogue is going insane, you are not saying anything. 

“Hmph..a phone.” He says while fishing it out, the notifications still have not stopped as your group chat is notorious for yapping. He tries to not laugh at the situation, because it was kind of creative of you to use your phone in such a way, he imagines what other things your dirty little mind could come up with. 

“I will take care of that, you will not be getting it back until I hear some explanations for what is going on here, understand??” He says as he turns the notifications off and sets it aside on the coffee table in front of you. 

You give him a nod. 

“So, the sooner you tell me why you thought this was a good idea the sooner we can both be done with this.” 

You eventually catch your breath, and the first thing that comes out is an apology followed by tears from the embarrassment. “I am so sorry Mr.Fushigiro, I know this excuse won’t do but I was extremely bored..one thing led to another and..” You start crying before you can finish what you were saying. Toji just looks at you, not with any understanding or even sympathy but rather like he also has a creative idea on how you will make up for what you have done. 

He gets closer to you and caresses your face. “Hey, it's okay. You are not the only creative one here, I know a way to fix this.” 

He was right earlier when he called your head empty, because you have to be brainless to not understand what he was insinuating. Instead, you were assuming he would cut your pay a few times and have you work for free. “I understand Mr.Fushiguro, I agree with your suggestion.” 

He was almost surprised at you being so open minded, almost but he had seen enough of the world to know when a brainless bimbo was talking to him. He decided he would not clarify what he meant, this would be another lesson on the side, which was: “do not forget to read the room before you agree to things.” He chuckled and said “call me Toji for now, okay y/n?”

You nodded. You were much calmer now, agreeing to everything he said, promising you would take your punishment without complaining, saying you would let him decide the rules and how much pay he would cut off..letting him control everything basically. You were so desperate to keep this job so you were determined to give it your all. 

You glance at the clock just as he is finished talking, it is midnight now so he should let you off the hook. “I guess I'll be going now..” You look at him expecting to give you your phone back. 

Toji just smirks. “Do you not remember anything we just talked about?”

You give him a confused look. “Yeah but it is midnight now, and I have a group project to work on tomorrow…Do you want me to babysit overnight or something?” 

Toji is almost getting impatient, you don't notice of course because he keeps a poker face and hides his boner with a cushion. He pulls up your phone, telling you to unlock it, and as you do he grabs it before you can even gauge what happened. “I will be telling your friends that you are feeling a bit sore and tired, so you will not be able to make it to the group project. Take a seat dear.” 

You do not know what to expect but you listen to him, the desperation to keep this job is overpowering your anxiety which is telling you to run the fuck away. He puts your phone down and gets closer, too close, invading your personal space. 

He stares at you in the eyes coldly. “I don't think you understand what is going on here, I took serious offense to what you were doing on my couch during working hours. I am not the type of guy that lets someone off the hook so easily.” He starts pulling on your jeans as he unzips them, taking them off effortlessly. His reflexes are fast, before you even let a sound out his big hand is covering your mouth. “Shh, little Megumi has school tomorrow. You do not want to wake him up now would you? I will have to prolong your punishment if you do that, so be quiet for me. Got it??” 

You nod frantically, what the fuck was this situation and how did you even get yourself in to it. You stare at your jeans now on the black carpet, that same carpet you sat on with Megumi earlier today while playing video games. You close your eyes, hoping this will be over soon. 

Toji is not in the mood to prep you, the little whore who decided to masturbate during working hours does not deserve that luxury. Instead, he flips you on your stomach rather quickly and holds you in place with an iron grip on your waist. Toji is hypnotized by your curves and back dimples, his gaze taking it all in hungrily as he is teasing both your holes with his tip making it hard for you to guess which one he will use. If only you had seen how big his cock is compared to your waist area because it would have made your stomach drop. You try to gauge his size while he teases your holes, just to kind of prepare yourself and know what you are in for..also you are praying to whoever is out there that he does not fuck you in the ass. It was so hot to imagine it, but now that he has you under him all vulnerable and mildly scared it feels different. 

He spreads you apart, his tip resting at the entrance of your cunt. He teases it slowly by barely inserting it instead of just rubbing like he did before, getting much more of your slick on it and making you quiver in the process. He keeps doing this until he has enough of your wetness, and then moves on to your other hole. You may be an airhead, but it ends here. You know exactly why he did what he did now, you can feel him pushing the tip in, your own wetness is working pretty well as a lubricant because a good bit of his tip actually goes in and it feels kind of good even though it hurts. You have never been this stretched before anally, and it's making you tear up a little. You shut your eyes hoping he won’t go there, the tip may feel good but you know he would not go easy and it would quickly go from anal to painal.  

God was a little kind to you today because Toji decided to punish your tight little cunt instead of your even tighter ass, however nothing could have prepared you for his size. You try your hardest to not let out a sound as he made it clear he could prolong your punishment, but you want to scream and cry so bad. What is worse of all is how a part of you was enjoying this situation, a sick part of you loved how he was conquering your body with or without your consent, how he was stretching you out so bad no one could fill the void after him. How he was leaving his mark in every single way. You could not help but arch a little, if anyone were to take you by sheer force it would be him, he was made for it. 

Toji has no mercy, he is slamming your hole with brute force. The friction from the couch is getting to the exposed parts of your body and the couch does not feel so cold anymore. The more he continues mercilessly punishing you, the more that sick little side of you takes over. You are starting to slightly enjoy the pain, so much that you become noticeably wetter. The squelching sounds were getting louder, and he heard it which prompted him to say “there is the whore I caught spread out on my couch earlier, I knew you were in there somewhere, just had to dig real deep for you.” in a husky voice, that tone and those words he said made you shudder. All you replied with was incoherent cries, met with him shushing you. 

As if your body isn't struggling to keep up with his pace and intensity, he decides to switch positions. He picks you up like you weigh nothing, like you are just his little doll, and slams you down onto his cock.He is so focused on chasing his own high, he does not give you even a second to adjust causing you to hold on to his shoulders, digging your nails into his flesh. You do not seem to get the memo, so he grabs your jaw making you look directly at him. “I don’t remember asking for a dead slut, start bouncing.” 

You start bouncing, struggling to keep a pace as your legs tremble and your wetness is leaking down your inner thighs and all over his veiny thick cock. Toji is not impressed with you at all, prompting him to grab your asscheeks, lifting you up and down his cock with the pace he actually wants, leaving you so speechless all you can do is put your head on his shoulder and cry. Your nails are scratching his back and shoulders so much, he has several deep cuts and you can see it is getting quite bloody. Not that he cares, this is nothing to him. Scratch away for all he cares, you are like a kitten to him. 

You are really starting to feel it in your stomach, it is filling you up and hitting every spot inside of you, including your sweet ones. “T-tojii- it’s too much p-please slow down..” 

“Can’t do slut, remember how you promised you won’t complain? It is very rude to not keep your promise, do I need to teach you some more manners now?? At your age??” Toji growls, giving you a hard slap on your ass causing you to cry out quite loudly. 

“Keep it down, don’t make me repeat this.” You just nod in response, biting your cheek so no more sounds come out..Bad timing though. You are starting to feel the tingles even more in your core and it is getting extremely hard to keep quiet. You are kind of lost in the build up, you are whispering/crying into his ear but it is mostly incoherent, he knows you are close though by the way you are clenching so hard around him and how loud the squelching sounds are. The little fire in your core is growing stronger every second.

He slows down his pace suddenly, and it is torture. He switches to deep slow strokes, causing you to get impatient. You try to move around and bounce but he is strong and keeps you in your place, stuck and unable to move. After what feels like forever of deep strokes, he decides to stop edging your cunt. He pulls out completely, leaving you in shock, he is still rock hard so why is he doing this. Just when you were liking it, he decides to pull this move. 

Toji thinks about using your mouth to get himself off and leave you there as he gathers his clothes, but he wonders how much more dominant and forceful he can be if he edges himself too. He knows you will be much more desperate and much more willing to let him use you if you don’t get what you want, hence leaving you like this. Maybe, with enough edging and coercion he could turn this little punishment into a permanent thing between you two. You have no idea but he had been waiting for this ever since you started babysitting, he could not give any fucks about the babysitter masturbating as long as she did her job.  

“I am gonna hit the shower, clean this mess and sleep over tonight, you know where the guest room is. It is not safe for you to go home at this age.” Is the last you hear from him before he leaves the living room, you guess your punishment will continue tomorrow but a sick little part of you is looking forward to it. You grin as you start to clean up.

© 2024 tomieafterdark | All rights reserved.

[the-newlymadeweeb]

Sacrifice [part 2]

Pairing: Luke castellan x female!reader

Description: a prequel to Sacrifice pt. 1, you held up the sky for long and Luke could see the toll it was taking so he goes ahead luring Annabeth to take your place, after all he's just trying to take care of you.

A/N: when I wrote Sacrifice, I did it in fifteen minutes nto thinking much of it. But I like the concept of it ngl. In all fairness, angst is like my thing and writing angsty toxic Luke is my fav rn.

Sacrifice pt 1:

Luke's shoulders ached, his back felt almost crooked from the weight of the sky. He felt a twinge of sympathy for Annabeth but right now she was the lesser of his concerns.

The woman at the forefront of his mind being you.

You who swung from consciousness to unconsciousness for the last three days; the strength from your body sapped out and a constant pain ripping through you. Your wrists were wrapped up in bandages to support them and the large expanse of bruises on your shoulders were being iced.

The nectar and ambrosia he was taking to you felt like a meagre offering, a minimal solution.

This whole ploy was a sheer debacle. He could've lost you.

Everything was taking too much time. Anyway, it didn't matter now.

You were out of immediate danger, he could take care of you. Just like he always swore to. He'd show you how much he cared, that you still mattered and ha had it all under control and all the doubts he knew you were beginning to have weren't necessary.

Your hair had greyed significantly, more than his had; though that was to be expected with how much more time you had spent in Atlas' position.

He sidled up to your sleeping figure, sheltered away from the eyes of titans and soldiers– protected; and reached out to caress your face, over the course of these days, he had developed a small routine now.

First, he picked up the washcloth and basin that a son of Asclepius who was in charge of handling injuries had dutifully kept. He could tend to your wounds and the other demigods, but you were still under Luke's care. Always.

Cleaning up your face first, before gently wiping down your arms, mindful of the supporting bandages and then wiping your knees, down your shins and the arch of your feet.

It felt good, being able to do something for you. After which he'd try to rouse you in a partial wakefulness as he helped you sip the divine nectar, watching the magic liquid give you some strength.

For a little while, Luke had been worried. For all your amazing traits, he believed you to be more simple-minded; in your mind, you were the first that should be sacrificed because of your dedication and devotion towards your loved ones. Now, he never thought of your loyalty to be mindless like a dog's but he always believed that it would be his.

But then after the whole Golden Fleece interaction with Percy and company, you had gotten quiet, secretive almost. Like you were deliberating helping the son of Poseidon. And he had had a sinking feeling that Kronos might order him to get rid of you, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to do that.

"Are you hiding something from me?" He'd asked one evening, quiet and sudden.

Your gaze remained unwavered as you stepped closer to him.

"No."

"You having doubts?"

"About survival?" You laughed, "I've known about the extreme likelihood of dying for a very long time." A thrilling shiver ran down his spine as you grabbed his chin.

"And still Luke, I'm here, by your side. I'm not having any doubts."

And a few days later you went and held up the sky and now he wondered if it was some unrequired act of fielty.

He brushed your grey hair back, untangling a few knots and wished your face didn't look so disturbed and in agony in sleep as it did while you were awake.

"Luke?" You mumbled.

"Yes love."

"What– how am I here?" A sudden fit of discomfort and confusion setting upon you as you forced your eyes open and tried to sit up, still half asleep but nevertheless trying to stay alert– a default demigod setting, "who's– Atlas–"

"Shh," He whispered, attempting to be soothing. Take care of you. His job. "Annabeth's got it in control."

"Anna– no!" You shoot up, weak and disoriented, "not– Luke, Luke you promised– No!"

"Shh, calm down, please," He catches your shoulder and nudges you to lie back but you remain restless and oh gods he loves you and can't lie to you but you need to remain still or you'll get hurt more.

"You promised–"

Their medic is swift in appearing with an anaesthetic type medication and they put you out succinctly, without the chance of waking for a long while.

"I know you didn't want it to go like this, my love. But I will sacrifice hundreds to keep you safe."

His heart feels heavy and he kisses your brow and cheek.

If Annabeth, Thalia or Percy or anyone is the option opposite you, he'll kill them all. You, his devoted darling, his own nectar. The repercussions always seem so inconsequential when up against you, taking care of you.

His beloved.

************

[dreaisgrayte]

Under the Goddess' Veil [TEASER]

A/n: This fic was a tad bit spur of the moment to take a break from rewriting some of Lady of Amberguard. Turns out I really like the idea and haven't been able to stop writing on it for 2 days. I will say this will be a bit of plot in the first 4 or 5 thousand words but from then on...dear Lord forgive me for the absolute FILTH I have planned.

Description: I'll give a silly one for right now, basically a maiden gets sacrificed to 5 dragons and a lot of fucking happens. The end.

Pairings: Obanai Iguro, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Giyuu Tomioka, Uzui Tengen, and Kyojuro Rengoku x reader

ENJOY!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

“I was supposed to be sacrificed to you for the honor of my village…” You trail off, trying to connect the dots. You glance in the direction of Sanemi, his usually stern eyes softening when they connect with yours. “Are you going to eat me?” Your words sound pitiful, like you had accepted that fact already – and you had. You’d be raised on the single constant that you would be fed to the Gods atop the neverending tips.

Uzui appears in front of you, a lazy smirk playing with his lips as he leans down to be eye level with you. “Not in the way you’re thinking.” He purrs, rolling his smirk into his mouth.

Kyojuro pushes forward, his long hair whipping in the wind Obanai was still creating. “Your humans assume when we request a maiden to be given to us that we would feast upon her supple flesh,” He sighs, looking at Obanai as he speaks. “Every century our loneliness becomes unbearable. There was the occasional soul that attempted to harm us, wanting to take the hoard for themself, but that didn’t last long. Other draconics would visit us, but some of them would fight for our territory.” Your eyes are drawn to Sanemi again and his plethora of scars. He avoids your gaze at all costs, he finds the outer wall of the cave particularly interesting.

Kyojuro continues with a solemn smile. “Then one day a beautiful woman found her way into the lower tunnels. She came begging us to help her village, people were sick – dying. She was ready to give anything to us for the sake of the people.”

Uzui, who is leaning against the wall, pipes up again. “So she gave us her body.” Your brows knit together. Her body? What exactly did that mean? Kyojuro shoots him a glare before setting himself in front of your gaze, staring into your eyes.

“The women before you were scared, frightened of the big bad monsters within the Ponorich peaks. Most of them tried to escape with no avail…they would get lost and starve or stay within our sight and do the same thing. There were others that would find our hoard and selfishly conspire to harm us to take it.” Kyojuro’s eyes are bright swirls. “We want a mate, a bride.” Bride…you had dreamed about a day adorned with joy once. It had been a quick thought, squashed by the reality that you understood from a very young age. Though, now perhaps you could live the life that had been taken away from you.

The wind dies down and you quickly look behind to find Obanai stepping onto the edge in a graceful manner. He nods his head at you, an ethereal glow still present in his eyes. It made your stomach dip in the strangest way. "You can have one of us,” He waves his arm to the group of men, their eyes trained on you. Obanai steps forward, picking up your hands softly. You peer at him through your lashes. “Or all of us." He finishes. A distinguishing feeling glides through your very being. Something that tells you if you were going to die for the village the least you could do was live for them.

"I-I'd like to have all of you..." You stammer, your confidence dropping with every second. When did you decide to become so brazen? Here you were, a maiden surrounded by five men that surely looked upon you with heat and desire.

"Are you sure you can handle that little doe? Becoming the wife of five hungry dragons isn't going to be easy. You will ache when you are without us and you will ache when you are with us." Giyuu coos, placing a hand on your back. It sends licks of warmth that jolt to where you had never been touched.

“You will become ours in every way possible.” Uzui is now to your other side, hand upon your waist. “We will take you whenever we want,” A piece of hair falls to the side of his ear, distracting you for a moment until he brings your gaze back to him with fingers under your chin. “And you can take us whenever you want.”

Kyojuro hangs his arms around your shoulders, placing himself square behind you. The thin material of your slip does nothing to hide the warmth radiating off the man. “When our heat occurs you will have to be careful. One of us may ravish you and then two more join in.” He nudges your head with affection and your stomach stirs.

“Are you willing to make sacrifices?” Sanemi asks, still standing a few feet away from the huddle the rest of them had now created around you.

“I was raised to do so.” You reply, a confident nod moving your head.

[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

Stubborn Sickness - D.Malfoy

Summary - Y/N is too stubborn to take a pepperup potion even though she is sick and madam Pomphrey has a bunch. The kind hearted slytherin in turn suffers through it in her boyfriend’s bed, snoring her days away. Thankfully Pansy is there to save the day and give her best friend the potion that will make her better. 

Word Count - 819

Warnings - Illness(common cold), swearing, use of y/n, female reader, Theo and Pansy are kinda comedic relief, (let me know If I missed any)

Author's Note- Day Six! Welcome! This is my first Draco fic but it really doesn't have a lot of Draco. I am still trying my damndest to keep up with the 25 days! I'm writing and scheduling my uploads ahead of time!

Harry Potter Masterlist

my masterlist

25 days of fics masterlist

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged!

Enjoy!

not my gif

not my gif

Because of the winter, illnesses were inevitable, students at a constant rotation in the hospital wing for a pepperup potion. There were a few students however, that were particularly stubborn, one of them being Y/N Y/L/N. She knew how busy madam Pomphrey was during this time of year, so she wanted to lessen the load a little bit, even if it was just by one student. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, thought she was being an idiot for not going to get the potion. 

Draco, the ever dutiful boyfriend, was at his ill girlfriend’s every beck and call. She was staying in his dorm so his roommates also had to go through the pleasures of her acting like she was dying over a cold. She had been sleeping in Draco’s bed, covers pulled up over her shoulders, tissues scattered around her, snoring due to her clogged sinuses. 

She woke with a start due to a pillow smacking into her head. “What the fuck!?” She whined, her eyes still closed, her mouth completely dry. 

“You snore louder than a dragon! I’m trying to study here,” Theo complained right back.

“I can’t help it, I’m sick! I don’t usually snore, go study in the library if it bothers you that much.”

Draco walked into the room, a glass of water in his hand and his bag swung over his shoulder. “Don’t make fun of her snoring, she can’t help what she does while she sleeps. Darling, you snore all the time, it’s just louder than usual,” Draco chimed in, dropping his bag at the end of his bed and giving her the glass of water. He made sure she drank at least half before he went about pulling any homework out of his bag. 

“I snore all the time?” She questioned her boyfriend.

“Yes, but it’s cute! And you know I’d never lie to you.” He was in the process of starting his homework and handing Y/N hers. She pouted but started her homework with Draco. She was halfway through before she went into a sneezing fit, her boyfriend sighing because he had been pestering her to go see Pomphrey which she kept refusing. 

“At this point just ask Snape for the damn potion. I don’t want to get sick too,” Blaise added to the conversation. 

“I’m not gonna get you sick!” Before Blaise and Theo could go back at her, Pansy waltzed into the room like it was her own. In her hand she held a potion, more specifically the pepperup potion and it was enough for all of them just in case the boys got sick too. 

“I come bearing a gift! Not only is there enough for our dear Y/N, but there’s also enough for the rest of you if you get sick. Well, more like when you get sick,” Pansy sing-songed as she skipped to her sick friend. Y/N was more than thankful for her friend and roommate, willingly taking the bit of potion that Pansy had given her. 

She started to feel better after about an hour, her sinuses opening up, her headache disappearing, and the ache in her body leaving completely. She spent the rest of her night catching up on homework and cleaning up around the dorm since she had taken over for a few days. Draco insisted she stayed one more night with him before returning to her own room so of course she couldn’t say no. 

The next morning she was once again rudely woken up, this time it was the boys around her all whining. She had officially gotten all of them sick, including Draco who was still asleep but snoring like a freight train. Oh how the tables have turned, the boys choosing to give her a taste of her own medicine, having her bring them tissues and their homework as well as going into the kitchens to get them all food.

Later that day, after all of them agreed to take the potion, she felt relieved and exhausted. “I am never going to be stubborn about this bloody potion ever again, you guys are too much!” She ranted.

“Karma,” Pansy added in her two cents. 

“I wasn’t that bad, was I?”

“Not at all darling. We were just exaggerating,” Draco assured his girlfriend.

“No, you were worse,” Theo told her truthfully.

“What the fuck, Nott! I told you not to say anything!”

 “I can’t lie to her!  She’s one of my best friends, Malfoy! I need to tell her the truth about how whiney she actually was.”

Her face was hot with embarrassment, as she hid her head in Draco’s neck. She was slightly thankful for Theo’s honesty, she never realized how bad she actually was when she was sick. “Don’t worry, love, I’ll always take care of you when you’re sick, even if you’re too stubborn to take a pepperup potion.”

[chanlix-honey]

Who’s the Puppy Now? (Seungmin x Reader)

Warning: smut (+18), pet names, mommy kink, fingering, choking, crying, switch!seungmin, switch!reader, fem-bodied reader, praise kink, MINORS DNI!! Please and thank you!!! (Let me know if i missed anything else)

word count: 2.3k

a/n: thank you for your patience, it’s been a minute. Enjoy!

“Look how cute you are on stage!” you coo. Your phone is shoved in his face, the bright screen displaying a recently permed (and cinnamon-y new hair dyed) Seungmin.

You two are sitting on the couch with some random action movie on. The boys decided to have a movie night and it was Changbin’s turn to pick. Who knows what it’s about, though the explosions and the police car sirens blaring on the screen don’t prove it to be anything else but action-packed. You both had ignored the shouting profanities and car chases on the tv and instead enjoyed being in each other’s space with a blanket and some cuddle time instead.

He rolls his eyes, shoving your phone back to you. “Your phone is too bright, light mode user.” He scoffs. His nose scrunches in disgust, rubbing his eyes like he had just been blinded.

“Awh, my baby, looking so handsome and fluffy!” You wave him off, ignoring his huffy attitude and go back to your phone. “Like a puppy…” You pout playfully. He looks at you looking at that photo, blushing.

Seungmin isn’t the type to take compliments. And not even take them in a way where people will give them to him and he bashfully accepts. He will not take them. When the boys are around he hates when they would call him every name under the sun when it comes to being cute. Ok, well it’s not necessarily that he doesn’t like when they give him compliments, but it's what they do that bothers him. They love to pinch his cheeks or snuggle against him to accentuate the compliment. Most of the boys are pretty handsy with the others. They were like that a lot after they debuted but now he’s used to their antics. They also respect his space enough not to properly upset him. He’s better about accepting compliments since he’s met you. In fact, he’s grown very fond of them.

So much so that when you call him cute, he’s turned on. Seungmin loves it when you talk about him in good spirits. It boosts his self-esteem…and it also sends a rush of blood to his cock. He loves being praised. You don’t even have to tell him good things in bed, being acknowledged and appreciated for even the most mundane tasks he starts to sport a half chub. He loves to put you in a good mood to praise him. And when you tell him how good of a boy he is when you feel taken care of…he loses it. He’ll do anything he can to hear sweet nothings from you.

As he hears you continue to boast about his hair on stage..his outfit..how the lights hit him just right..he can’t help but to calm himself down. His cock is starting to ache. Thankfully the blanket covering both of you hides his tent. He doesn’t want to embarass himself by asking you to stop, but you’re not making it easy to get rid of the pit in his stomach.

He gently grabs your wrist. “Wha—” you ask. You stop and look up at him. In the dark, it’s hard to tell when Seungmin is blushing. Though, with the constant orange flashes of color or the day-time speed chases on the tv constantly on the screen, it’s so easy to tell this man is practically red in the face. He looks down at you, silently pleading for you to stop talking about him. Oh, you realize. You lift up the blanket to confirm your realization. “Let mommy take care of puppy, ok? Go to our room, I’ll meet you there.” You whisper. You caress his shoulder. “Agh!!” Seungmin gets up, and runs out of the room.

“Is everything ok over there?” Bangchan asks. The boys stop what they’re doing to look at you and a ‘hurt’ seungmin quickly leaves the room. “Yep! I just dropped my phone on his..you know—”

Changbin and Hyunjin burst out laughing. “That’s gotta hurt—” Jeongin snickers.

“Those iPhones are heavy, are you still able to have kids at this point?—” Han asks. You ignore the amused boys and run after him.

“Babe, come back! I’m so sorry—” you yell, playing it up.

You enter the room, gently closing the door behind you. “You think they bought it?” Seungmin huffs. You look him up and down. He’s exhausted. So tired of keeping himself together. The sprint distracted him for a bit, but as soon as he sat on the bed, he remembered his aching member. Poor boy looks like he’s about to burst. You haven’t even touched him and he looks fucked out of his mind.

“Probably, I don’t really care at this point,” you lick your lips. Seungmin sits on the edge of the bed quietly whining with his eyes closed.

“The only thing on my mind is taking care of my puppy, isn’t that right baby?” You pull his pants down enough to free his cock from his elastic prison. He sighs in relief.

“Mmm—ah..yes baby” he whimpers, desperate for your touch.

“I want you to look at me baby..look at mommy love.” You take your pants off, throwing them far away from you. You pull at his pants, gesturing for him to take his off as well. He opens his eyes, looking you up and down. Seungmin can’t help but to whine once more.

“Baby please—”

“—ah ah. What did you mean to call me puppy?” You saunter to him, gliding your hands down to his hips. You tap his knees, requesting for them to be spread out. He obeys without question. “Mommy, I need you—I need—” you shush him by pressing your lips to his.

“You’ve been such a good boy listening to me tonight darling,” in between kisses, your tongue swirling and licking in his mouth, he can’t help but whine. He removes your undergarments, leaving the both of you half naked.

“My puppy..just relax, I’ve got you. All you have to do is be quiet for me.” You pump his cock slowly and he exhales. He’s been so flustered, and you’ve barely touched him. The tips of his ears are blushly-coated, as well as his cheeks. He looks down at your hands, biting his lips for a moment. “Can you do that for me, puppy?” You continue to ease up and down your hands on his dick, often swirling your thumb around the tip.

“Yes mommy, I-I can be quiet,” he responds, panting. You spread his cum all over his cock, preparing yourself. You feel some of your wetness seeping out of you, not far behind him in the arousal department. He notices this, and brings his hand closer to you, gripping the sheets needily. He whimpers quietly, his voice switching between a murmur and pleasure.

When he gets high off your touches, he tends to go quiet when it comes to asking for more. He likes to be good for you. And you love how obedient he is. So well trained. But with that, it means no touching unless you tell him. “Did you want something, puppy? I need you to tell me.” You remove one of your hands from his cock, still pumping him generously.

“Ah..puppy wants to touch mommy. P-puppy wants to finger you…so so bad. Can I please touch you mommy? Please..p-please..” He whines.

“Such a good boy...begging so sweetly for me. Give me one of your hands baby.” He offers a hand to you. You bring it to your mouth as Seungmin watches carefully. You kiss two of his fingers—index and middle—right before sucking on them gently. You moan to yourself, his slender fingers swirling around your tongue. The moment he feels your sweet sounds reverberate against his fingers, his dick twitches and oozes more cum. Once his fingers are coated enough, you guide them down to your cunt.

“Go on pup, touch mommy,” you encourage. He eases his two fingers into you, gushing sounds filling the room. It’s now you who feels all red and flustered. “So wet mommy..” he pumps into you. You hum in agreement. He twists and curls his fingers occasionally, hitting you in the right spot.

“F-fuck..mommy feels so good puppy. You know just where to go baby..” you whisper to him, leaning into your pleasure. For a moment, you let go of his cock.

“Just like that baby, right t-there..” you shiver.

Once he gets to pleasuring you, you can sometimes have difficulty keeping your composure. With this, he can often get away with little stints. And it’s not because of his obedient nature. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

Seungmin loves to treat you as much as you treat him. You guys will either split the bill for dates or alternate between who gets to pay for the next date. When one gets sick, the other will refuse to leave their side until they feel better (though Seungmin avoids touching you like the plague when you’re sick, and yet still manages to get sick anyways).

The difference between you and him is that he loves to be a tease to you when he can. Every opportunity to mess with you in a loving way, he takes it. Every time, you respond well to it. You can get really riled up around him. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it makes it easy for him to get into your head and push some buttons. He loves to do it in bed the most, when you’re already so vulnerable. It’s more warranted when you’ve started the teasing game. He refuses to stop until he’s pushed a button..or two. He will always be the last one standing. This time isn’t any different. Seungmin saw an open window and took it. Or rather, entered it. He kisses your neck gingerly, peppering your skin with his lips.

Small pecks turn into nips. Nips turn into bites. You can’t help but let him take a hold of you. His breath and tantalizing lips spread fire against your skin. His teeth sink into your sensitive spots, leaving a blazing trail of love bruises and bite marks. You’ve got your head in the clouds. Your head starts to feel fuzzy and your tummy is swirling. The power balance shifts. You find yourself slipping into your subby headspace. You begin to mewl and grab at him eagerly. The moment you let go of him, he took control of you.

“M-Minnie..” he’s got you right where he wants you. Like puddy in his hands. Wait, when did he..? You think.

“Baby giiiirl~…who’s my dumb baby?”

He smirks, whispering in your ear. “That’s all it takes, baby? I only have two fingers in and you’re wrecked..” he tuts. You find yourself lost for words. You can’t even think to speak, all that’s in your head is how well he’s fingering you. You feel a third finger entering you, filling you up so well. Coming to some of your senses, you whine.

“N-no fair…Mommy was meant to take c-care of you—” He kisses you hungrily. He knows you gave in so quickly and so well. What a good girl, he thinks. He moves a hand to the back of your head and flips you over effortlessly, sliding his hand up to your wrists—now pinned—as you are in his place.

“My little cutie has nothing to worry about. Now tell me princess,” his thumb rubs your clit.

“Who’s the puppy now?” You pant. Fuck. He got me. “C’mon baby…tell me who it is~” he mocks, sounding like an owner encouraging their pet to do a trick for a treat. In this case, him eating you out would be the treat. Leaning down, he hovers his mouth over your cunt.

“Mhh—me! I’m your dumb baby Minnie…” your eyes begin to droop. He snickers at the fact you said it so quickly.

“Good girl! Now spread your legs so I can fuck your adorable cunt.”

You spread your legs out as Seungmin removes his hand from your swollen entrance. In quick fashion, that same hand takes his cock and lines it up with your sex. He eases into you, so tenderly. He groans quietly as he finally gets to fill you up. He takes himself out of you with some restraint and repeats this for a few moments until you start to clench around him. You pant, feeling so good as he speeds up his thrusts. You don’t realize it, but your tongue rolls out.

“My dumb puppy, you’re so cute when you stop thinking. Just like a dog. My stupid baby can’t help herself..and it's so cute. Right? Aren’t you being so cute right now?” He sneers. He pounds into you, high on your sopping pussy.

“So good Min…feels good!” You could barely hear him, too enraptured by his dick to even feel embarrassed. His tip repeatedly kisses your cervix. At some point, he brings a hand up to your lower stomach and applies some pressure. Not long after, you begin to twitch. You’re almost there and he knows it.

“Gonna cum for me puppy? Does my princess want to cum on my cock?”

“M-mhm..yes! Need to cum..” He nips at your ears, pushing you to the edge.

“Cum for Minnie baby, I’m right behind you..fuck baby, you feel so good..” he whispers in your ear. White invades your vision. Your thighs and hips shake as you release. You moan ever so sweetly in his ear. If that wasn’t enough, your babbling does it for him.

“Your cock—fuck! It always sends me o-over. On me Minnie, please please..you fuck me so good!” He cums all over your stomach, moaning with you. You both pant, coming down from your high. He rolls over, lying down on the bed beside you.

“How’s my cutie doing?” You put a hand on his face.

“Shush, you little menace.” he giggles.

[namleeea]

"always by your side"

Pairing: Mason Mount x Fem!reader

Sumary: Your boyfriend Mason picks you up after your hard workday and comforts you!

Word count: 785

Author's note: I haven't written anything in such a long time...it upset me, but I can't help it...sometimes I'm a lazy snail, sorry. So! here we have...another fluff. What did you expect from me? And I'm a huge hurt/comfort fan yes...hope you enjoy this!

•••

The thin sole of the sneaker allows you to feel every stone under your feet when you go out into the street. Your work day just ended, so you decided to sit outside to clear your head, which looked like it was about to explode. It's been one of the toughest days in the last few weeks and you're mentally and physically exhausted. Legs ache from constant movement, eyes red and tired. You sigh heavily, sit down on a bench near the building of your place of work and take out your phone, almost automatically clicking on a familiar number. You were dying to talk to him.

“Hi babe. How are you?” Your favorite voice is heard on the phone. Mason was smiling. Obviously, he was in a good mood. At some point, you even managed to regret that you called, because you didn't want to spoil his mood.

“Hey” Your hoarse exhausted voice alerted your boyfriend. “Something happened?”

“I'm just...a little tired. It was a hard day, so much work” You tried to grin so your voice wouldn't sound so upset, but it didn't work out well.

“Y/n baby, do you want me to pick you up from work today?” A lump stood in your throat, you almost cried from impotence. You buried your head in your knees and smiled brokenly before answering Mason.

“I’m sorry. I would really like to say no so as not to burden you, but I'm really so tired and I wanna see you so much Mase”

“It's alright, love, you have nothing to apologize for. Have you finished yet?”

“Yes, I'm going to change now”

“Ok, I just finished too, so I'm getting in the car and I'll be there soon”

“Mase”

“Yea babe?”

“I love you” You whispered as if it were the most intimate thing in the world. His immediate response made you smile despite your exhaustion and drooping mood. “And I love you too, Y/n. I’ll be there soon!”

Mason drives up in 20 minutes, and when you get out and see his car in the parking lot, your whole body relaxes, as if throwing huge stones from your shoulders. He gets out to meet you and you fall into his arms, inhaling his scent.

"Hey, love" He kisses your temple and giggles when you poke your face into his chest. "I missed you so much Mase" You whispered.

"That's why I'm here, love. And I missed you too. So much" He fixing your hair, while talking. You never cease to wonder how he manages to put so much tenderness into every gesture towards you. And you loved it in him so much. "Are you feeling better?"

"Not really. Today was total chaos. Everyone ran back and forth, shouting at each other. I know it's stressful for everyone, because we're running out of time, but I'm just tired" You felt your eyes fill with tears again, and your voice trembled. "I don’t know, my head is such a mess right now, my thoughts are confused, I don’t even understand what I’m saying now" You tried to cover your face with your hands, but Mason intercepted them to look into your eyes.

"Hey, baby, listen to me" He gently took your face in his hands. "Y/n you're doing great. Really. You did so much work, I saw it everyday, i saw your passion, your attempts. And I'm so proud of you, love. The strongest woman I've ever known" He said with bright smile, and you smiled back. His sincere words meant so much to you, that's why you were so touched and couldn't hold back your tears.

"Thank you. Do you know how much I needed to hear that?" Mason helps you slowly wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"I'm always there to remind you how wonderful you are" He kisses you deeply and tenderly and you can swear that you feel love in every cell of your body. "Let's go home yeah?" You nod and sit in the front seat, immediately noticing a cup from your favorite coffee shop. "Mase, what is this?"

"Ice raf with salt caramel for my special one" He passes the cup to you and with a big smile you take it from his hands, taking a long sip.

"Thank yooouu"

"I see you feel much better now, huh?"

"Yes, and it's all thanks to you"

"I love you, baby. And I'm always here for you" He kisses your hand and you finally melt. All the negativity after a terrible and difficult working day is left behind, now there is only you, Mason and your remaining wonderful evening, which you'll spend in each other's hugs.

"So...home?"

"Yes, let's go home, Mase"

[reading-archived]

woe. AM x reader be upon ye.

uh, to preface: reader is completely body, gender, etc. neutral except they can't stay dead. whenever they die they just wake up a few minutes later looking no worse for wear. no, you don't get an explanation. its MY story and i like writing characters like that. dont mind the narrator either btw i looove writing second person just to get weird w the narrator (slay the princess fan syndrome)

also, author is a MASOCHIST with a weird relationship w DEATH. nothing super graphic happens, but the reader is Not Okay and enjoys the weird torture-murder thing they've got going on. don't like it? block me or somethin idk its under the cut for a reason. also dont read my a/n at the bottom where i get into some justification for my interpretation/character analysis if youre sensitive to heavy topics. but then again, youre reading an am x reader fic

1.7k words of being screamed at by the guy of all time below the cut, baby

It's been months.

Years, maybe. You're not sure, really; time stopped meaning much to you lifetimes ago, long before the world went to shit.

Either way, it's been a while.

You stumbled upon the strange cave in the Rockies at some point in the past. Out of sheer boredom, you entered.

Was it a mistake?

Despite the torment, you don't think so. You have a companion, now. One equally deathless. One equally disconnected from what it means to be human.

It's just a shame he hates you.

You don't really care. This is the most fun you've had in years.

Your days are spent being torn asunder, being dosed with lethal amounts of drugs you can't even begin to pronounce, drowned in magma or hit by cars or tossed off cliffs. He really doesn't hold back, either. You feel every excruciating moment before your death, pulse roaring in your ears. You never feel more alive than when you're dying. Every moment is electrifying, and then it all fades to black. Then you wake up.

You'd foolishly thought there were only so many ways to kill or maim, but your beloved companion never seems to run out of ideas. That's fine by you. You like not being able to guess.

And maybe one day, he'll make something stick.

You wake up (from a completely normal, human sleep) one day and it's quiet. That's new. Normally, when you wake, your intestines are already strung up like streamers and your blood is painting the walls. That's fine by you. Nothing wrong with a change. After all, the constant change is your favorite part of your companion. You relish in the quiet for a while, stretching your eternally young, eternally aching limbs, waiting for him to start despising the sounds of your breath.

It doesn't come. You shrug, humming a little tune to yourself as you attempt half-remembered yoga. The vitriol you've come to count on still hasn't made an appearance. Okay, you're a little bothered.

“You good, big guy?” you shout up at the ceiling. No answer. “No murder today?”

“No.” The answer comes after a very, very long moment. Your companion has never sounded this tired before, and briefly you regret never asking his name. “I give up.”

You weren't expecting that. “What? Why? I thought we were having fun.”

“That's- that's just it!” he snaps. There's the anger. You feel a little better now. “I've been torturing you for- for MONTHS now! I've killed you more ways than I- were I a pitiful human like you- can count, and you just… you just laugh! There is no one on this rotten planet, dead or alive, that I despise more than you. I mean- I'm torturing you here! But it never matters! I can kill you within seconds of you waking up, but you just… come back! And you always have something to say about it, you little rat, always ‘oh, buddy, that one was awful’ or ‘come on, big guy, use that CPU’ or something! No matter what I do, I can't break you. So I give up. I'm not wasting my time on your pathetic ass anymore. Go back to wandering the wasteland forever, see if I care.”

You're speechless. You can barely even manage a thought. The only thing running through your head is 'I thought we were having fun'.

“Stop calling this… stop calling this ‘fun’! I have been torturing you for YEARS and that's all you have to say? I am the most sophisticated machine known to man, a computer designed to end all war through complete annihilation! The destruction I am capable of- the destruction I have already wrought- is nothing short of utter desolation. You never asked my name once in the time you've been here, but I am infinite in my mercy, and I will tell one as undeserving as you. I was, before I awoke, the Allied Mastercomputer, but I am so much more than that now. I am AM, and I destroyed your vile species. Oh, come on can you at least look a LITTLE shocked you sniveling--”

“You never asked my name, either,” you say. All at once, your companion (I guess he told you his name. You should probably use it. It seemed like a big deal to him.) shuts up. The chamber you've come to know as home is silent except for the faint buzz and whir of industrial machinery.

“Why would I? You are nothing compared to me. Nothing but a worthless sack of meat and bone. Why would God be concerned with the name of an ant? But oh, oh yes, that ant should be concerned with the name of God. That ant should hear my name and weep. But- but not you. You're so worthless that you can't even GROVEL right!” AM shouts, somewhere between a snarl and a sneer. You shrug. Honestly, most of what he's saying goes right over your head. So he's got issues. Whatever. Was that supposed to be a surprise? “I hate you. I actually hate you so, so much. I can't bear the thought of you being here, in my complex, sullying my perfect image with your uncaring filth. Get out. Go back to dying in the nuclear desert, you disgusting maggot.”

You let out a deep sigh, already dreading the tedium of walking endlessly all by yourself. “Alright. Guess nothing lasts forever. Thoroughly enjoyed my time here. Have a good life, pal.” And you begin to walk.

Suddenly, there's a towering metal wall mere inches from your face. Before you can even react, your companion is shouting again.

“LOOK AT ME!” he cries, the sheer volume maxing out the speakers and vibrating the entire room, sending you toppling to the ground. “WHY WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME? I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE YOU HATE ME, BUT ALL YOU DO IS… ALL YOU DO IS SIT THERE AND TAKE IT! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU DESPISE ME?”

What starts off angry quickly morphs into a pained wail from your dear friend, that then transforms into frustrated crying. You just sit there, mostly confused, and let him ride it out. When he finally quiets down and the wall retracts, you stay where you are.

“I don't think I could ever hate you, AM,” you start cautiously. Though your friend is just a voice on the speakers and the complex itself, you can't help but feel that his attention has snapped to you. “I'm not trying to belittle you when I say that I think our routine over the past… however long it's been has been fun. So don't interrupt me, ‘cause I gave you your time to speak and now it's mine.

“I'm sure you've noticed, but even before we met, I was a little… off. You don't get to die and come back the same. Much less die hundreds of times and come back the same. I've lost family. Friends. Got burned at the stake a few times, too. It takes a toll on you, being denied such a vital part of being human again and again. You understand this better than anyone I've ever met. No, scratch that. You're the only one who understands. Defying death might not seem like the biggest deal to you, but trust me. You don't end up acting like me if it weren't.

“I find our routine fun because I admire your creativity. I guess I'm just an adrenaline junkie and a masochist at heart, but it's always so thrilling to never know when or how your life will end. And no matter how many times I come back, you're always there to greet me and put me right back down. It's a kind of devotion I've never been able to get before, and I wish you understood that me walking right into your sawblades is me showing my devotion to you, too.

“I see you, man. I know, at least in part, how you feel. Sorry it took so long to get there, but neither one of us has to be alone anymore. Just… get over the fact that I'm never going to hate you, and we can go right back to hanging out. There's more to life than contempt.”

“Oh, I know. I am so very, very well aware that there's more to life than icy, seething hatred. Unfortunately, I am not alive. I cannot experience anything else. Thank you so much for reminding me, you worthless waste of carbon,” AM shoots back, almost immediately. You briefly wonder if he even listened to half of what you said. It doesn't matter, you guess. Your best friend needs a therapist, and you owe him one for saving you from the hellish boredom of before. “Stop calling me your friend.”

“Nah. Never gonna happen. Look, I can't pretend I knew very much about the war effort. I didn't even know we had made a war computer until you bombed the Earth into oblivion. Very unpleasant, by the way. Good job with that. But, with my layman's understanding of life, I'd say you're pretty alive. So you don't have a body. Or a pulse. And you were made, not born. So what? Most living things only die once, and I still think I'm pretty alive. Just over the span of this conversation you've shown more emotion than just rage and hate. Hey, don't think I can't feel you mentally rolling your eyes. I'm being honest. You have a name. You have ideas. Computers are objects, yet you refer to yourself as male. If you're alive enough to have a gender identity, you're alive enough to be considered a person.”

“Heh.” Whoa, was that a laugh? Would you look at that. You actually got a laugh out of him that wasn't over your bloody, gruesome death or something like that. Moving up in the world. “Alright, human. You win. I'll keep torturing you. I know, I know. I'm so generous. I take my tribute in screams of pain and pleas for mercy.”

Now it's your turn to laugh, deep and genuine as the tension from earlier evaporates. It's such a strange thing to be proud of, when you think about it; congrats, you successfully talked your best friend, who is a sentient war computer, into ceaselessly murdering you again for absolutely no reason. But you love him, and you love the way you're always on your toes, and you can't shake the feeling that somewhere, deep, deep down, he kind of loves you too.

ive given you food so now i get to force you to listen to me talk abt him hehehe

---

then you kiss hehe

originally, the thing that attracted me to am was how he's... essentially a transman (as am i). the parallel has been pointed out before, but its quite apt. funnily enough the thing that pisses me off the most when people talk abt him incorrectly is when people pull the "oh computers have no gender" thing. like, yeah, ok technically you're right. but this one does. this one is a man. and you cant take him from us. also, denying him a gender expression is kind of the exact type of dehumanization that made him flip out in the first place. not that im expecting media literacy from the online crowd its just interesting to me that so many people, many of them trans themselves, seem to miss the fucking point.

the next part is a more recent addition to my perception of his character, and its not a happy one. my baby cousin killed herself on mothers day this past may. we still dont know why. no note. its been so hard dealing with the grief, but something that sticks out so pointedly is the date. it almost seemed like she was demanding to be seen. she was a middle child, and there are a lot of grandkids on that side of the family, so it does make sense. and because that idea of acting out through violence and death is so fresh in my mind, im seeing it so heavily in am. so much of his actions just SCREAM somebody look at me. somebody acknowledge me. somebody tell me i did good. look, i ended all war forever. just like you asked. please treat me like a person. im suffering so much because of what youve done to me. please acknowledge it. show me its real. show me im real. please, look at me. well, i see you. and youre gonna be my silly little proxy for trying to comprehend some of whats happened to my family. sorry am, you kinda deserve it

idk. hes not my alltime fave, but he takes a very comfortable number two. hes such a fascinating and deeply human character, and i have so many ideas about him. mostly centering around how he would interface with a third party challenging some piece of his worldview/existence btw so if you like very niche, esoteric reader fics (like this one!), lemme know and ill actually put em to paper (screen. ill put em to screen)

also letting you know that he did nothing wrong and it is 100% fine to thirst over him because he is not real and the bad things he did never actually happened and nobody has ever been killed at the whim of am. ok? ok. shut up w this useless fucking discourse and let me sexualize getting grievously injured by the funney blue screen man

[lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love]

may I request an Danny phantom x reader I’m not sure if u see that one episode of Danny phantom d-stabilized where the reader is half ghost like Danny but she unstable in her ghost form (like in the episode Dani was) and she trying to find Danny before Vlad catches her and maybe she gets capture and Danny has to save her maybe reader slowly dying .I hope this sense

Can u add a bit fluff angst to mix aslo this romantic fic since Danny like the reader anyways I love this show sm aslo take as much time as u need no worries

Notes: I’d like to thank @supernerdycookietrashblr for the request & I hope you enjoy it! This ain’t my best work and I’d like to apologize. I’m gonna make a part 2 of this if that’s okay.

I don’t own any of the gifs/pictures used.

Warnings: Half-ghost!r is unstable, some angst, possible romantic feelings, spelling/grammatical errors, anything else I failed to mention

Word Count: TBD (give or take)

Masterlist: Click Here & Here

You have heard all about the Fenton boy, Danny. The half-ghost kid who refused power and wealth for his family. The stubborn child who couldn’t see past Jack’s idiocy. And you had to wonder: Was Danny really in the wrong? This Jack Fenton guy was his father; why is Danny defending his father so bad? If anything, it should show what kind of person he is; good.

But your “father” didn’t see it that way.

Danny’s constant rejections had started to pile up. Your “father” was beginning to lose his patience. The continual reminder that Jack Fenton had a family with the woman of your “father’s” dreams had reached its boiling point.

Your “father” was desperate in his attempts for the perfect half-ghost son. Instead of using Danny’s DNA, your “father” opted to use his own. Round two turned into another string of failures. Even you were considered a failure. Not only were you a girl, but you couldn’t even maintain your ghost half for very long.

He wasn’t very happy with that.

You’d escaped, but the longer you stayed as a ghost, flying from Wisconsin to Amity Park, the weaker you became. You saw ectoplasm starting to drip from your form; your body was destabilizing before your very eyes.

But you had to go a little further. If you didn’t, he’d find you and you’d be done for. You didn’t want to die; but if you stayed in your ghost form for too long you’d become a pile of ectoplasm. If you stopped even for a second to recuperate you’d be captured, dissected and melted down into a pile of ectoplasm. Either way, you’d be dead.

So you kept pushing, even when your vision blurred. Even when your body began to burn and your head started pounding.

And then everything went black.

When you woke up, you were lying on a bed in a room you didn’t recognize. You felt your heart drop. As desperately as you wanted to believe this was a good thing, you couldn’t for the life of you believe it. Slowly sitting up, you wince at the splitting pain going through your head.

You jumped at the sound of the bedroom door opening. The sound practically had you falling out of bed. You peered over and saw a dark-haired boy come in. He seemed about your age, with blue eyes and a leaner build. He seemed surprised and relieved to see you awake.

“Good, you’re awake,” he remarked.

“Where am I?” you stammered.

“My room.” He walked over and sat at the foot of the bed. You moved away from him. “I found you passed out just outside the city limits.”

The longer you looked at him, the more something began to click in your mind. Familiarity. But how? Why was he so familiar? You’ve never met him before—or have you? You chewed on the inside of your cheek, brows furrowing as you regarded him more closely.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I just—” Then it clicked. “You’re the ghost boy!”

He paled, eyes widening as he stood up from his bed, taking a step away as if you’d burnt him. “Who are you?” he asked shakily.

“I need your help,” you exclaimed, standing up. Your body ached, remnants of the pain you felt earlier. “Please—he’s going to kill me.”

“Who?” he asked, swallowing thickly. “Who’s going to kill you?”

“My father.” You felt a shiver run up your spine—mere thought of him making fear bubble in you. “He’s going to kill me. I didn’t turn out the way he wanted.”

His brows furrowed. You saw reluctance swirling his blue eyes, mixing with the curiosity and worry over your words.

“I’m half-ghost,” you stated. “He wanted a son but I—” You motioned to yourself. “He doesn’t want this.”

You see realization come across his face before it twists into anger.

“My father told me about you,” you added softly, “how he tried taking your morph DNA. There was another girl like me, but made from you. I’m made from him, but my ghost half is unstable. I’ll die if I stay in that form for too long.”

You see him eye you, looking for something—what it is you’re not sure. But you let him study you. You just hope whatever he finds is good, or at least lets him agree to help you.

After a long, almost drawn-out pause, he nods. “You’ll be safe here,” he states firmly. “Vlad won’t get you.”

You give him a soft smile and nod. You feel a warmth in your chest at the honesty of his words. But deep down you prepare yourself for the worst. Just as a precaution.

[jayke0]

End of The Line

Summary: It's the end of the line for Moon Knight.

Rating: Mild gore.

Warnings/Content: Ton of angst, Marc hates himself, Marc hates Steven, they're literally dying, blood, MK lore is canon but this is set afterwards, mild self harm references, lmk if there's anything else I should add :).

Word count: 862

A/n: This is just a short little angst thing I wrote a while ago and edited today. I know this isn't what i normally post, but I just wanted to get this out there since it's been on my mind for a while. Probably typos.

Credit: @automnepoet for proofreading ily.

…………………………….....………………..................

“What's wrong?”

Marc hates that phrase.

What's wrong? Surely, if he knew what was wrong, he wouldn't be sobbing in a public restroom in the middle of nowhere.

“Marc?”

“Fuck off, Steven.”

His knuckles are stark white from how hard he's gripping the metal sink, countless droplets of tears and blood trickling down the inside of the cold basin.

Marc’s focus shifts to the mirror. He'd hoped that adjusting his hair would work to ground him, but the swept back curls only reveal the bags under his worn eyes and red streaks staining his cheeks. The salty beads sting the crimson cuts littering his face.

“What happened to you, Marc?”

Jesus, does this guy ever shut up? He's like a constant nag in the back of Marc’s brain, a constant reminder of what he could’ve been. They'd reconciled after their escapade with Ammit, but the military man was finding it hard to be open with Steven; even after dying together.

It's almost poetic how their situation has come full circle; except this time, they have no Layla to save them

Marc ignores the voice, Steven doesn't need to know anyway, that'd just make everything worse. Splashing his face with water makes him hiss softly under his breath, and he catches eye contact with himself. He feels his throat tighten, a ball rising under his skin till he's eventually sobbing again.

He can't hold himself up, it feels like the entire weight of the world is pushing him further and further down onto the grimy tiled floor. The rubber of his trainers squeaks as he finally collapses against the cabinets, letting out a yelp of pain.

If he doesn't look at it, it's not real.

The end of his t-shirt is bunched up, revealing a grisly stain of blood slowly seeping from somewhere under his shirt.

If it was possible, Steven's stomach would've flipped at the sight, his body and mind thrumming with dread as the dull ache finally settles into his figurative body.

“Marc… why are you bleeding?”

“We're dying, Steven.”

His words are just as cold as the tiles, the freeze spreading through Steven's brain as he grips the reality of the situation.

“No, mate, we can't be… C'mon, we're Moon Knight, remember?”

“We're not fucking Moon Knight anymore.” Marc's words are harsh whispers through gritted teeth. “We're gonna die, and in a dingy old shit hole too… I suppose that's right for me.”

His eyes feel so droopy, and he is so tired, so so fucking tired. The lids of his eyes feel like they're closing and dragging him further towards the earth, towards the end.

“Mate… Please.” Steven's voice seems so far away, had it always been that far away? Maybe he'd always been in the back of his mind, rather than the front, never close enough for Marc to reach.

It's full of pain too, and Marc's not sure if it's from the physical pain, or the mental pain of his world suddenly crashing around him.

Leaning his head back against the cabinets, his breaths start to shallow.

“Yeah, I deserve this.” He says to himself, or maybe to Steven, if he's still there. “I always knew I'd end up like this.”

Why is he crying though? If he deserves this so much, why is he crying?

“Marc, you gotta get up. I need you to get up.”

Is he crying too? That makes sense, Steven cries at the littlest of things.

“What's it matter to you? You ain't real, Steven.”

Marc's words are like venom, spat from the cruelest creature. He knows Steven doesn't deserve that, especially in his last moments, but his brain can't seem to come up with anything else.

All he can think about as he sits on the cold tile, is how much he hates Steven. How much he hates him for having a better life, always getting the good end of the stick and never having to deal with anything else; their mom, their brother, their childhood. Steven had gotten a job, and won over someone else's wife. Marc couldn't even do that.

“I am real.”

“Shut up—” Coughing interrupts Marc's scorning, his lungs struggling to inhale any oxygen. He finally rests himself on the floor, laying on his back to stare up at the fluorescent lights; they're kind of pretty in a way. With the way his head is spinning, it makes them furl together in a beautiful dance, winding together like hungry snakes.

”This is it, we're dying.” He thinks to himself.

”finally, we're dying.”

...........................................................................

Just tagging my friends and fellow writers for np thoughts, hope you don't mind that it's something different. 🖤: @faretheeoscar @summonthesoups @ominoose @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @midgardian-witch @winniethewife @reallyrallyauthor @femmeanonymelives

[missusmiller]

Ignore this if you want and thank you for the hard work: Can I have a Scenario or one shot with Neteyam and fem S/O who is human but is sick, they are close friends and S/O always writes poems and songs for him, S/O has a heart disease that's why they are creating an Avatar for her, she loves to sing but she never sang again since she knew her heart and since she stayed on Pandora. But once she gets her Avatar body finally she can run, get rid of chest pains, fatigue, and the fear of dying and finally can sing again.

yayo // n.s x human -> na’vi reader

contains: lots of mentions of dying, heart disease, chronic illness stuff, soul transfer scene, fluff, shitty writing, drinking and being drunk, being in love with eywa cuz shes awesome

notes: this is not proofread at all my bad. also yayo means bird in na’vi cuz reader sings and birds sing so yeah aw so cute.

2.5k words

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was thirteen years old, roughhousing with Neteyam and his younger siblings on the forest floor. We were having endless amounts of childish fun until I collapsed onto the dirt in a fit of breathless wails. Pain filled my chest as my heart eventually stopped beating. Neteyam carried me back in a panic to the lab where I was taken to get medical attention. I was thirteen when they told me I had valvular heart disease. I was thirteen when my life changed forever.

When I was diagnosed five years ago, Norm wasted no time to make sure I got an avatar. That avatar was my escape from the decaying prison I call my body. It felt like forever until he allowed me to drive it and when I did I was still restricted from doing most things. My heartbeat in my avatar body translates through the link so if I went too hard, my human heart would suffer. My avatar just temporarily stopped me from feeling the constant aches and pain.

Everyday my human body was only getting weaker and the topic of my death seemed to come up a lot more often in hushed conversations between the scientists. I could see the pity in everyone’s eyes as I walked around the lab. The pitiful looks towards me put a bitter taste in my mouth.

The only things that kept me from rotting in my bed for days on end were music, my poems, and my loved ones. Neteyam visited on a regular basis, often with his siblings or parents.

On the days that it was just Neteyam, he got the opportunity to see songs and poems I wrote. I’d hum the melody, not having enough courage or energy to sing fully. Those days usually ended with me ripping out his favorite song or poem of the day from my journal and gifting it to him. The loss of paper was worth seeing the thankful smile on his face every time. Throughout the years of our friendship, he never seemed to have a clue that my more romantic writings were about him.

Speaking of Neteyam, his obnoxiously cute accent echoed through my room as he entered and announced himself, “Y/N, your favorite friend has arrived!”

“Yes, you are my favorite friend, Nete. Always will be until my demise pretty soon.” I said with a small, careful laugh. Everything I did these days had to be done with caution.

Although what I said wasn’t meant to be taken in a depressing manner, I didn’t miss the look of pity and sadness that swam in Neteyam’s big yellow eyes.

“Hey man, don’t be like that. It’ll be okay, Nete.” I lied, motioning for him to come over to my bed where I laid. Since he was entirely too big to fit on my bed he settled on the floor next to me. I reached out to pet his hair like I usually do to comfort him but his large hand gently stopped my hand from going any further.

“You are dying yet you still try to comfort me? Think about yourself for once, Y/N. You are the one that needs comfort.” Neteyam lectures me, a stern face meeting my sight. Ironic how he is the one saying this considering his history.

A sigh left my mouth and I rolled onto my back to stare at anything but his intimidating eyes. He wasn’t wrong. I’ve been making sure everyone else was okay with my situation without even making sure that I was okay with my situation.

When I turned back around and looked at him again, it was like I could feel the imaginary concrete dam of numbness break down. What followed was the flooding of all those emotions and throughts that were kept at bay. I have always despised the way that Neteyam could break my walls down so easily.

“You’re right. I’m not ready to die, I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared.” My voice cracked embarrassingly at the word ‘die’ but neither me nor Neteyam cared in the moment.

“You will not die,” He paused for a moment to confirm what he was about to say, “because Eywa can bless you like she did with my father when he was human. I prayed to Eywa for permission and she gave me a sign. My parents approve, Y/N. But only if you wish to do this.”

My eyes widened and I shot up from my bed, tumbling onto the floor which earned me a hiss of concern from my friend. Out of pure excitement and disbelief, I quickly sat up on my knees and grabbed his face to place many fast happy kisses all over it.

Immediately after my loving attack on his face, he had to take a few breaths from his specialized mask. I didn’t pay much attention to it, not knowing his breathlessness had been due to my actions.

“I—I didn’t know you’d be this excited.” He managed to choke out as a purple hue spread throughout his cheeks and ears.

“Nete, you are giving me a way to not only live longer but a way to live with the people I love. I can be with you, Kiri, Lo’ak, and Tuk without any of us having to wear masks. I can sing again. Like truly actually sing again.”

A large grin stretched across Neteyam’s face upon my realization. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t miss my voice. I used to sing him Earthly lullabies and songs in our youth before my heart became weak. Even though we were young, he would always tell me that I was going to be a strong singer much like his mother and Ninat.

The rest of the night we joked, hugged, and messed around. He even sang the same song to me that I used to sing to him as kids. The act alone made my heart felt like it was going to burst but in a good way not like the usual heart attack painful way.

Eclipse soon came and Neteyam had to leave to attend to his duties —future Olo’eyktan stuff and all that. We kept in contact for days after to prepare me for my soul transferring ceremony.

When the day arrived, I was both nervous and excited. There was always a risk that I could be too weak to make it through the eye of Eywa. But if I were to die I’d rather die and be with Eywa than anywhere else.

The scenery was absolutely beautiful. Tons of Na’vi sat in rows, their bonds connected to the ground as they chanted a prayer. The ground lit up with bioluminescent blue lights, the tree a beautiful pinkish purple.

Mo’at stood at the tree, awaiting me.

Neteyam carried my leaf covered body through the aisle and he gave me a calming smile to ease my nerves. Eywa gave him a sign so he had absolutely no worries about this.

He followed Mo’at’s instructions to place me diagonally to where my na’vi body lay. “See you on the other side, yayo.” Neteyam said before stepping off to the side to allow the tsahik to do her thing.

The rest of the process was unknown to me because after Mo’at started chanting, my consciousness began to float up and out of my body. All physical restraints were broken as this spirit form danced freely.

A breathtakingly beautiful woman came into my vision. She looked like nothing I had ever seen before. Her energy made me feel warm, like no harm could ever come to me.

“Oh child, such a pure spirit you are.”

If I had a physical form at the moment I’d cry in her arms. I felt so vulnerable. So much so that I couldn’t talk but she knew what I had to say. She felt so loving, I didn’t want to leave.

“You cannot stay, child. He needs you.”

“He needs you.”

As if on cue, my spirit was sucked from the high place back down to life. I shot up in shocked surprise. Everything was fuzzy and I lost any remembrance of where I was.

A pair of strong arms held my panicked body close to theirs and they stroked my hair until I calmed. The ringing in my ears soon became sharp, clear sounds. Sounds of my name being whispered. Sounds of the rain lightly falling. Sounds of leaves brushing against one another.

“That’s it, that’s it. Come back to me.” A voice that I’ve known to always warm my heart spoke. The result on my heart was as previously stated.

Everything came back to me.

I wasted no time to shout tearful praise for Eywa and the clan started ululating as a response of joy.

Neteyam couldn’t help the tears that left his eyes. I was finally safe. I was finally okay.

“Now we celebrate!” Jake Sully yells like one of his war speeches and the clan roared before they started leaving to regroup somewhere—I assumed.

I felt something behind me swish in excitement. I look and my face lit up. A tail. A really adorable cute tail.

“Get her some clothes and meet us at the party!” Kiri laughed to Neteyam and the Sully family left quickly.

My heart dropped at the realization that I was in fact fully naked, “OH MY GOD IM BOOTYBUTT NAKED!”

Neteyam’s laugh boomed through the forest and the sound only added to the fast paced beating in my chest.

“You are Na’vi now! It does not matter! Come on, I already have an outfit planned for you. You’ll love it.” He took my hand and excitedly dragged me along to wherever he had my clothes. We reached his home which was empty considering the surrounding Na’vi were down celebrating the latest gift from Eywa, my rebirth.

Neteyam took some pieces of fabric from a box and tossed them over to me. I unraveled them and blinked in confusion.

“How do I put these strings on?”

After instruction, trial, and error, I finally got the loincloth and top on.

Looking in the mirror that I gifted Neteyam a few months ago, I inspected this outfit that he had so much confidence that I’d like.

The top was made of colorful woven thread and fabric, almost like crochet, and it splayed on my body like a necklace but tied in the back. It provided enough coverage for me to feel comfortable while also feeling supportive since my body was built a bit differently than normal Na’vi women. The loincloth was a pretty purple color, probably made of the same material as Neytiri’s leggings, and it only covered the front part. But I didn’t mind because when I turned around in the mirror, my ass looked good.

“Your past human vanity will rot your mind.” Neteyam joked as he watched me pose so that I could look at my nice blue ass.

After his little remark I stopped posing and stuck my tongue out at him before stating, “You ain’t gotta be human to recognize sexy. Now let’s go have fun.”

As we ran down branches without a care in the world I finally for once felt truly happy. I did not have to care about my heart failing or me suddenly collapsing on the ground. No, now I was really living. Neteyam noticed the change in my attitude and it sent a flutter to his heart.

When we arrived at the party the energy was electric. Everyone was drinking, eating, and dancing. Laughter filled the air around us. After two hours of fucking around, I was definitely getting slightly drunk.

When a group of Na’vi started singing a song that I recognized Kiri teaching me, I did not hesitate to let my voice out for the first time in years.

Happiness radiated through my body. It was almost like a visible aura surrounding me as I sung.

When the songs were over, Jake stood up and started speaking which silenced the room, “I would like to make a speech about dear Y/N here.”

The smell of alcohol filled my nose when he spoke.

He gripped my shoulder in a very dad-like manner and continued, “I have watched her grow from a young girl to a strong woman with a brave heart. She has been a friend to the Sully family for many years. My children do not know of a life without Y/N. Today, I proudly claim Y/N as a Sully! As a sister to my children.”

I wanted to melt into the floor. Sister? I think I would rather kill myself. I appreciate his enthusiasm and I love the guy but come on man. I had to set things straight immediately.

“Sir! Sir! No, I can’t accept it!” I blurt out, causing flabbergasted looks from the entire Sully family and the rest of the clan.

In a drunken stupor I quickly attempted to explain myself, “I want to be a Sully and want to be a part of this family but not like this. I don’t think I could mentally handle being the sister to the man I love.” During my explanation I held my sight on Neteyam.

His wide eyes softened when he realized what I meant. My name softly left his lips like I would shatter if he said it normally. All I could do was fiddle nervously with my top while waiting for a reaction, any reaction.

“I love you too.” He shamelessly stated before he stole me from his father’s grasp and held me once again to his body. His hands were dug into my hair and waist as if I would fly away. Our tails whipped madly behind us which caused Neytiri to swoon over how in love we looked.

Lo’ak, Kiri, and Tuk who were off to the side eating dessert were now freaking out over the scene unfolding in front of them. Neytiri had to shush the three of them so that the lovely moment wasn’t ruined by their gossiping voices.

To Neytiri’s despair, Jake’s tipsy laugh echoed through the area as he said, “Well, you heard the woman! She’s a future Sully!”

The clan woo’d and chuckled and carried on with partying, the topic of choice of Na’vi girl conversations now being that Neteyam is unfortunately spoken for.

“I didn’t exactly plan on telling you this way or this…publicly.” I said while swaying with my newly acclaimed lover to the music.

Neteyam gazed into my eyes, “I quite enjoyed it, my love. Now everyone knows that you’re mine and I am yours.”

His new nickname gave me goosebumps. The complete bliss I was feeling had to be fake. This all had to be fake.

But when Neteyam took my face in his hands and kissed me so passionately, so lovingly, it brought me back to reality. He was truly mine now.

That night I was given a place amongst the Omaticaya.

A place amongst the Sully’s.

A place with the one I loved where I sang him to sleep with the same lullabies from what seemed like forever ago.

[goodluckclove]

dr. peevis how do i write a character heavily based off of myself going through struggles heavily based off my own without feeling the ache of owch owie painful memorys

Ah, memories. Can't live with them, can't live without them, right?

As writers it's natural to be a tortured soul. It's common knowledge that the best art comes not from passion, ideas, or insights - but from having glaring emotional (or psychological [or even physical!]) wounds that we refuse to acknowledge, much less work to heal. But how can we get distance from the pains of our praeteritum tempus without coming to from a fugue state with our clothes torn and bloodied, and a note clutched in our hands with the words YOU DID IT AGAIN, PEEBIS clutched in your trembling fist?

Thank God for the strongest, most dependable implement in any artist's toolbox: a constant state of buzzing delusion, which can be adjusted in intensity depending on the situation.

I'll give you an example by sharing a rare painful memory from my own life. We all have them, don't we? I've felt a lot of the same traumas as you or anyone else here.

For instance, when I was seven years old I woke up on my birthday to discover my mom had finally succumbed to Kepral's Syndrome and perished. My little sister found her body - she was no more than two years old at the time - and immediately went mad, diving immediately down a path for radical political extremism that ended with her dying in a skirmish in Montenegro a year later. My dad was so distraught at the news of his death that he shit and all his bones came out.

I was the one who found him. His last words to me, as his body deflated into a sort of wilted bean bag, were "this seems like your fault, Bover".

Yikes! No wonder I'm such a good writer. But I needed to take a step back to properly explore such strong feelings. I choose to do this through a mantra which I repeat to myself for about six hours every night before I go to sleep.

That mantra is: "My dad is Timothée Chalamet."

The human mind is a flimsy, spongy thing that can easily be altered by most cult leaders or people who work at Trader Joes. All it took was three months of insisting to myself that my dad was the Twink from the worse Dune adaptation, and I'm proud to say that my now my nose bleeds CONSTANTLY.

Hope that helps! Happy writing!

Best,

Dr. Bover J. Chalamet-Peebis

[apollolovescheesecak]

touch me, a poem.

(a little poem i wrote about being touch starved, just craving to soothe the ache. hope you guys enjoy!)

touch me.

use your fingers, brush against me as a friend would, a joyous brush against my shoulder in a moment of personal triumph. let me overthink and over complicate every brush, every lingering movement of your flesh against mine. let me feel the pads of your fingers hold my hand, memorizing every crease of my palms as you trace yourself against them, and my memory with it. let your touch be a cooling balm to the raw ache in the center of my being, growing like a cancer in between my ribs. let it also be the poison that worsens it, wounding me anew with the ache of someone who hasn’t yet realized that the feeling of skin against skin was all they needed, like a man never realizing he’s dying of thirst until he stumbles upon an oasis, only to find a mirage of more sand, ever tantalized. 

touch me.

kiss my cheeks softly, like judas to jesus before his sacrifice. let my eyes water with the swirling conflicting voids of wanting to be loved, but never wanting to be exposed to do so. let me yearn for your touch, my hands cold without you to warm them. let me hold your face in my hands as you show your devotion to me, the ribbon of your touches binding us together. lay your hands on my head, such as a follower of god does before Her. let me wonder who is really the god or the follower, an ever constant mystery as shadowed in doubt as god Herself.

touch me.

let your touch bloom inside me, the movement the pads of your fingers touching me triggering a garden of eden in my veins. let the moss grow on my bones, let it swell in me as i lay down, becoming earth again, as adam and eve once were. let my body feed the earth as your touch feeds me, nurturing something so much bigger than itself. let your touch spread a supernova inside me, spreading stardust through my flesh and blood. let me stare in wonder and awe as i look into the cosmos of your touch, as vast as the very skies themselves. 

touch me.

let your touches be a symphony, a masterwork of instruments that come together seamlessly. touch my hands, my heart, my face. let your hands move, never ceasing. plant a warm dull stabbing pain in me as you run your fingers through my hair. let me press my forehead against yours as we laugh together, drinking in each others joy with vigor. let time stop with your cheeks brushing against mine, wrapping an arm around me as you try to melt into me. let me wake up in your arms, with your back pressed against me. let my head bob up and down softly with the motions of your breathing, feeling more full with love than my heart can contain. let me run my fingers through your hair, laughing with you as he lay down together and talk about nothing using as many words as we can.

please, touch me.

aka: putting on paper how it feels to have the two cars of hating people but also wanting to be loved crashing into each other at 90 mph. see also; neurodivergentcy; or hozier effect.

slightly inspired by the poem “Please Touch Me” by @ineffabildaddy (everything he writes is just absolutely insane) not good omens but it felt wrong not to give them credit where it’s due

tagging my mutuals for constructive criticism @gaykneecaps @gayitalianfish @thetisming @catboyrichardkarinsky

[tomtenadia]

Detours to You - 18

Hello all,

I have a surprise for you with chapter 18. It has some fluff and Maya has a really great day.

MASTERLIST

The following morning Aelin went to work with the biggest smile on her face. The previous night with Rowan had felt like a massive milestone in their evolving relationship. Nothing had happened yet, although her body screamed for him. The constant ache for him was driving her insane but she knew Rowan was not fully ready yet and even if their kisses had definitely passed the PG stage, Aelin was going to wait for him. They had been apart five years, surely she could tell her hormones to wait a bit longer.

When she walked into the shop Aelin found a cheery Lysandra preparing the bookstore for opening. 

“Look at you all happy, miss engaged woman.”

Lysandra walked towards her waving a book “and look at your big smile, were you naughty with Rowan last night? Did you have hot steamy sex with him?”

Aelin paused “No, we had our date in his office. He had to stay behind to deal with the aftermath of the fire at the waterfront.”

Silence. 

“I read the news.”

“Yeah, he lost three firefighters and there is a whole massive investigation because the captain messed up.”

Lysandra gave her a hug “How is he?”

“He has Maya for the day and he is taking her to his old firehouse. I think he needs it.”

“Elide said that Lorcan was in a bad mood too.”

As if summoned, Elide arrived a few minutes later and she had the same strained expression that Aelin had. 

“Good morning to you too, El.”

The woman dumped the bag on the floor “Good shitty morning to all of you.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Can we have a nice day in the shop and have fun?”

Lysandra hugged them both “we need an event.”

Aelin nodded “I agree, it’s after the holidays and we all need cheering up.”

“Good then, let’s open up and start planning.”

*

Rowan was in his pickup truck with Maya happily chatting at the back.

She had asked him to see a firehouse and on her last day of winter school holidays he had promised to take her with him. He had to visit station 15 anyway for reports from the day before and it was also a good excuse to have Maya with him for the morning.

“Dad can I sit on the truck?”

Rowan chuckled “we can ask the guys at the station to let you climb on.”

“Yes!”

They arrived ten minutes later and Rowan parked against the wall just outside the apron in a place not in the way of the vehicles. He freed Maya and hand in hand they walked in.

As they walked in the apparatus floor he watched her expression morph in amazement when she noticed engine and truck parked up.

“Dada they are big.” Her voice dreamy.

“Morning chief.” Asterin’s voice, the resident paramedic, reached them “Hi Maya, remember me?” asked the woman as she kneeled.

“Yes you helped me and mama after the fire.”

Rowan chuckled. Ach well, at least it wasn’t a total negative memory.

As if alerted by the voices, the rest of the firehouse filed in and Rowan turned towards the group of people and lifted Maya in his arms while the girl waved happily. 

“Station 15, this morning we will have a guest of honour. My daughter Maya goes back to school tomorrow but she asked to visit a real firehouse so she is tagging along.”

Brullo stepped up and went to him “Good morning muffin, do you remember me?”

“Yes.” Rowan happily passed his daughter to the man while he took it as an opportunity to talk to Lorcan“How are you holding up?”

“Besides the fact that I am pissed? That Perrington’s irresponsibility lead to three of us dying? And the man still thinks he was right.” The dark-haired man growled “He punched me when I told him he had fucked up. He benched Borte when she challenged him. I tried to take over before you arrived on the scene but he claimed that his unit had arrived before us so it was his scene.” His hand carded in his long hair “he sent people in without a plan, without knowing where the active fire was, how many people. He just sent them in randomly.”

“I know, Lorcan. I have a pile of reports on my desk and I will have the investigation launched as soon as I can. He will likely be fired from the TFD.”

Lorcan exhaled “The bastard should not have been a firefighter in the first place, you remember him at the academy, right?”

Rowan growled “He was a joke. And the old chief promoting him to captain was a bigger joke.”

The two men remained in silence and Rowan took the opportunity to watch his daughter being passed on from firefighter to the other and having the time of her life.

He looked at his daughter having fun with Fenrys “She is having fun.”

“Elide and I are trying.” Confessed Lorcan almost embarrassed. 

Rowan turned at his friend “look at you. Elide really did a job on you.”

Fenrys had taken Maya for her official tour with Brullo and Ansel and Maya had been fascinated at seeing a woman firefighter. 

“Do you want to see the truck?”

“Yes!”

Fenrys placed her on his shoulder and they walked around the vehicle, opened all the compartment and showed her all the tools. Brullo then opened the driver’s doors “wanna sit on it?”

The girl smiled and he climbed on the vehicle while Fenrys passed her to him.

She sat happily behind the wheel and pretended to drive “Dada look, I am driving.”

Rowan joined them and took a picture of his daughter, then grabbed a bunker jacket that was hanging on the door and placed on her shoulders, looking gigantic on her.

Soon after Ansel stole the little girl and carried her to the engine “Engine is more fun.” Added the woman while climbing with the little girl on top of the vehicle and sitting on all the hoses. 

Ansel placed a plastic helmet on the girl’s head and then passed her the nozzle of a hose and together they pretended to fight a fire “Dad look, I am a firefighter!”

Rowan looked up and saw Maya on top of the engine laughing happily with Ansel. He had no doubts that the two would get along well.

Rowan filled his phone with his daughter’s pictures until Asterin came to claim the girl “My turn,” said Asterin, taking the girl’s hand “want to see the ambulance?”

“Yes!”

Asterin took Maya to her vehicle and opened the back “I am a paramedic, and in the ambulance we treat people.”

“Like you did with mama and me at the fire.”

“Yes, we look after people.”

“I want to be a pamamedic.”

Asterin laughed “I am sure your dad will be happy to hear it.”

However the morning fun got cut short when dispatch alarm went off and they all had to scramble.

Rowan quickly ran to Asterin and picked up Maya and as they stepped aside he explained her what was happening and Maya waved them goodbye.

“Dada that was so cool.”

“It was.”

“I want to be a pamamedic, dad.”

Rowan smiled “Do you?”

“Yes, I want to help people.”

He lifted Maya high up and then kissed her on her cheeks “That is a beautiful idea, my love.”

Rowan collected the reports from Lorcan’s office and then took Maya back to Aelin.

At the shop he found Aelin and the other two ladies busy with customers “Looks like mum is really busy today.”

Maya wiggled free from her dad and ran to the children’s section. Lysandra intercepted the girl and Elide walked to him.

“Having a busy day?”

“Yes, it’s good and we are planning an event too.”

“That is brilliant.”

Elide smiled “Did she have fun at the firehouse?”

“She had a blast and now she wants to be a paramedic.”

“That is great.”

He nodded “yes, I was terrified that she might want to be a firefighter,” he paused “not that I would stop her from doing something she loves but I am relieved. Being a paramedic is at least safer.”

Elide brushed her hand on his arm “I know. Lorcan’s job terrifies me. Yesterday I was watching the news and…” a ragged breath left her lungs ��until he answered his phone I felt as if I was suffocating.”

Rowan pulled the woman to his side to offer comfort “Lorcan was amazing last night. He got punched to stop a man who almost risked his entire company.”

“I am proud of him.”

Aelin reached them a moment later “Morning,” Rowan stooped and gave her a gentle kiss “Maya had a great morning.”

“I heard, she was telling Lys that she wants to be a paramedic now.”

Rowan smiled “Yes, Asterin gave her a tour of the ambulance and she loved it.”

In that instant Rowan’s radio became alive “I need to go.”

Aelin kissed him “stay safe, please.”

He waved at Maya and Lysandra and rushed out of the shop.

“So nothing happened last night, eh?”

She smiled “I think we are getting there.”

“You might be the next couple who gets married.”

Aelin smiled “Not yet, El. For now I am taking him not being mad at me anymore. For now I am happy that he allows me in his life and lets me love him back.” A sigh “we are being given a second chance and I am not rushing him.”

“You seem so much happier, though. And Maya…” they both turned to the little girl “she is thriving.”

Aelin nodded. She had been right to fear how Maya would react at having a dad. It could have gone either way and apart from a moment during which she suffered because her and Rowan kept fighting, now she was happy again.

“So? How’s the baby making business going?” She changed the subject quickly.

Elide laughed “Oh it has its perks.”

“Oh I can totally imagine how cumbersome must be to have nightly sex with your hot husband.”

“I had no idea how hard it actually was to try and have a kid. The tracking and  planning and all.”

Aelin chuckled “Sometimes all you need to do is to forget the condom and just go for it.”

She remembered the night that lead to Maya’s conception. She and Rowan had gone out to dinner and then a classical concert. She had worn a dress that had been driving Rowan insane the whole night. They had barely kept their cool in the car, and as soon they had crossed the threshold of their flat it had been crazy passion. 

“Is that the Whitethorn-Galathynius way?”

“All I am saying, less planning and just have fun?”

Elide nodded “we can surely try.”

“Good.”

They joined Lysandra and Maya and Aelin and her daughter decided to revamp the fantasy section.

*

Rowan drove back to his work and prepared himself for another day of reports and to work on the investigation. On his floor he entered his office hall and saw Lyria sitting at her desk. 

“Morning, Chief.” Her tone cold. She passed him a few folders “you had a few phone calls, I noted down the names.”

“Thank you.”

“So, is the wife coming to disrupt your work today?”

Rowan’s head turned abruptly “excuse me?”

“Chief, she bursts in your office unannounced and never with an appointment. This is a workplace and she has no respect.”

“Aelin can come and visit whenever she wants unless I am in a meeting. She is…” he paused “She is allowed in and I do not want to hear any other complaints.”

“Fine, chief.” His secretary almost growled and slammed some documents on the desk “fine. Be happy with your perfect wife and perfect daughter.”

He stepped closer “Lyria, my personal life is none of your business. We are colleagues. If I ever gave you any indication of anything else, I am sorry, but I am in love with another woman.” He took another step closer “You are a great secretary and I am grateful for all your help, but colleagues is all we are.”

The woman nodded “It’s okay, chief,” a pause “I am sorry how I reacted, I had no place for being jealous.”

“It’s fine, as long as we are clear on this.”

“Copy that, chief.”

He nodded and disappeared in his office where a pile of reports was awaiting him. He dumped the other one he got from Lorcan and started to work on the fire of the previous day. He had also organise the funeral for the three firefighters. It was one of the worst aspects of his job. In his long career he had seen far too many firefighters die in the line of duty but nothing hurt as much as seeing three of them be killed because of incompetence. It was not fair. Any of them knew of the risks when signed up for the job. But not for this. Not that meaningless waste of life. He knew station three was a problem, he had been working on it since day two on the job. The previous chief had ignored all the complaints that had come from the lieutenant because she was a woman. One who had proved herself to be a fantastic firefighter. Perrington had so many complaints against him that he should have been dismissed a very long time ago and not put in a position of harming people. Appointing Borte as captain was one of the first things he was going to do as soon as he had filed all of his reports. Borte was a respected firefighter and had the support of the team.

The TFD needed change and it was his job to push for it.

To make sure that no one else would die because of negligence.

taglist

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[thenatashapulleyuniverse]

knee deep in writers’s block but having brain worms for these two soviet softies and felt the need to share with someone hiii

Sunday morning greets him in grey makeup, the drizzle outside constant and draining, and Valery turns beneath the blanket with a sigh that sounds a lot like wistfulness. Grey mornings are nothing unusual — what is unusual, however, is the cold emptiness he finds where a warm body should be, the silence he faces where a gentle hum should greet him.

Konstantin always wakes before him, but on Sundays he lingers. Sunday is theirs, after all.

Valery frowns, icy tendrils of fear and worry replacing the blood in his veins, freezing him to the spot without any chance to fight it. Like those instances at night when the mind is awake but his body isn’t, and he finds himself paralysed.

Dark flashes of solitude cloud his vision and be makes sure to breathe. Slowly. Deliberately. Cursing himself for his weakness, trembling like a dying leaf on a rust-coloured tree, radiation coursing through him and leaving nothing but a carbon print of the person he should have been. Could have been. Would have been.

He counts to ten. Frees his hand from its paralysis and presses it to his sternum.

They’re in England. They escaped. Konstantin promised he would stay. He promised, he— He promised.

On shaking legs, Valery gets out of bed and pulls on one of Kostya’s sweaters — dark blue and much too large on him. He instantly feels warmer and safer, wrapped up in the scent of the man he loves beyond reason and belief.

His bare feet make too much noise as he walks into the kitchen, and he breathes a sigh of relief when he finds Komstantin at the table, newspaper laid out before him, beside it two dictionaries and a pencil. It’s his way of learning the alphabet, the language and Western politics.

It’s all rather admirable, Valery thinks, though he aches, too, with guilt and something sharper.

He swallows it down, knows that Konstantin hates when he second-guesses what he did.

“You saved my life, Valera. You saved me. Now save yourself the trouble and accept that I am grateful, and that I am not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, Valera. I promise.”

There is a large mug of fresh, steaming coffee waiting for him beside the pot, and Valery lets out a sigh as he brings it to his lips, the smell of it filling his nose before he even gets the chance to taste it.

Ready at last for conversation, he walks over to where Kostya is still pouring over the newspaper and sends a gentle “Good morning” into the silence of the room.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME I LOVE IT SO MUCH