#im just a student tbh
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I’ve always been interested in coding but specifically html and user face designing but I can never get ideas out and if I do it just never seems to look right to me. or I can never just do it. it’s been something I do on my downtime but it’s always like that for me. it’s either I design something and it’s nothing like what I had in my mind or it’s just the bones of a website with little to no design. sorry for the rant I don’t really have anyone to talk to about things like that.
but I’m sending this to say that your design mockups are amazing. pretty sure if it was real ( like out on the market for people to buy ) it would probably sell fast. and I hate to say this but as a society we care about looking at things first. the added benefits of the product are just secondary ( ex. skincare ). if it’s not packaged nicely or not pretty to look at people are mostly likely not to buy, even if it could save your life or something. – byeol
HUUUUUUUUUUGE YAP SESSION!
Don't apologize for ranting about things that I have experience in and a passion for! Given, I'm studying visual design more than the html or coding aspect of it. What I will say though is that really, any aspect of design has soooo many fucking rules to it and it's always better to learn them before breaking them. (basics like typography, sight patterns, alignment, etc) I think you should keep playing around though. Sometimes when I'm bored I go to carrd and just play around with it til i either hate it or like it, either way I still delete it and start over. As for your comment on society needing pretty packaging, I can agree to an extent but it's also human nature to search for things that please the eye. Even as a messy ass painter and sculptor who makes very weird and uncanny things, I still follow the rules so even my most horrifying works is pleasing to those who recognize the skills i used. As far as I'm concerned, I have no qualms with people liking pretty things, especially if I get to make those things, yknow? Even the most mundane, boring designs follow the exact same rules. Brand logos, street signs, shower curtains, business cards. [nct albums have bad design a lot of the time, i've learned KMFSDKJHFKJ]
I also do agree that sometimes people prefer the prettier packaging over the boring or even badly designed kind but I don't agree that they won't buy it because of that. Price is usually what drives a purchase, and often times a prettier design costs more. If we are referring to nepo babies and rich ass losers, yeah they probably don't care but i don't believe anything would be considered a "life saver" regarding good or bad design. That's when the price or design doesn't matter and the product is what matters. **i also wanna add, more often than not, you'll find the design package matches or compliments the price, no matter how expensive or cheap. sometimes the price is what drives the design.**
Either way!! I get what your saying, so...ONTO ADVICE: As an artist who primarily did more physical studio art before focusing on design, most if not all of my works turn out differently than what I imagine, but I love them nonetheless because of the work and effort I put into it. You cannot perfect yourself based off of a fantasy in your head, you have to be realistic. If it's possible, get as close to it as you can without breaking your mental state. If it isn't possible, make something else, or utilize the idea and make something inspired off of it. Someone will like your work whether you hate it or not. I've experienced it time and time again. People taking my sketches and work out of trash cans, me doing the same thing to other people. I can't tell you how many trashed art pieces i own and love, and the fact of the matter is, someone hated it enough to crumple it and throw it away, prepared to never look at it again. Digital design can be different from that though because mistakes or unbalanced parts of it can be really obvious, not to mention how pompous some designers are. It's a more critical type of work, i think, and even I'm struggling with it. I see so many mistakes in my mock ups, but i finally threw my hands up and knew I needed to just be done with it. The sub box was supposed to be a tarot card box, but I just couldn't get it right. That's a clear example of my work not panning out to my own mind's image. The point is, everyone feels this way with their work. We look at it for so long that everything looks wrong, and not good. But at the end of the day, especially with design, a lot of people will simply look at it briefly and move on. Remember that!
#ask#byeol anon#im no expert by any means#im just a student tbh#so this is all just from my own perspective
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my mum keeps responding to my covid precautions with “i get it, you’re not ready yet”. like no i just don’t do them anymore. i don’t really need to eat at restaurants or go to crowded places or be in public without an n95. i can watch the movie at home. i can get take out. an n95 is just uncomfortable sometimes but doesn’t stop me from doing anything. i love not getting sick
#SOOOOOO glad i moved out#‘your sibling and i are going out to eat’ have fun! i actually have no desire to do that whatsoever#also both of them have brought covid home and I’ve clocked it every time#my mum’s was after a trip after i moved out where she didn’t wear a mask once (not even at the airport) and then spent the trip texting me#about how the rich food was giving her some stomach trouble and the jet lag was just hitting her so hard#clocked that asap. i think she gave it to everyone else too and then tested after someone else tested positive and got her positive#my sibling was when i was still at home though and they just came downstairs and sat next to me coughing and i have never moved so fast#consistently tested negative so I don’t think they gave it to me but they protested possibly having it until I made my mum test them#and lo and behold I was right! I got pcr tested by urgent care and was negative#i didn’t get the chance to be cautious from the beginning because I was a minor when covid started#but i’m now an adult and moved out and keep all my precautions and tbh I love it#i’m a college student and the only sickness I’ve ever dealt with was an ear infection from a piercing. that’s it#‘don’t you want to embrace your young adult years’ i have two cats and hobbies and love being at home im fine#I don’t want to party or go out or do much of that#coronavirus
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imagine they're forced to attend classes, clubs, staying at the dormitory, etc, all at RSA - no NRC at all lol
(none of them are lasting more than two months btw)
#twst#twisted wonderland#ace trappola#deuce spade#jack howl#epel felmier#sebek zigvolt#ortho shroud#twst grim#SO ignoring the fact that. certain NRC students would fight RSA as a whole if the first years suddenly were made to attend that school-#(cough cough idia's gonna break down the whole school security network if ortho doesn return immediately---)#hypothetical question as if they /were/ able to attend the school-#i've not done a poll in forever - and i wanted to do a silly one so :]#i feel like rsa doesnt get shown enough in twst tbh - i want to see the twst characters fume in their boots everytime-#- an rsa student shows up and the only reason for it is because they commited the crime of being nice lmao#it's so funny to me#btw - if you see this and think multiple arent lasting the month - just pick the one you think would last the shortest lol#oh . yea#ram's posts#i forgor#sry for no art btw - im working on my fic instead lol
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me with my 18 year old students that i teach at a college
#everyone is just so mean to them because they're adults now but most of them were literally in high school only a few months ago#and so many of them are far from home and on their own for the first time !!!#and the other professors are so mean like they literally ranted to me about how another professor cursed them out#like !!! bruh!!!! also i think it messes with my head that im teaching foundational class and if i fuck this up#that could fuck up their college career because this class is about how to write essays in college#like holy shit responsibility#but fr i love my students they're so fucking funny and they all call out in class and they straight up are the class full of#'problem children' on academic probation who had to check in with a guidance counselor once a week and i have to monitor and write reports#about once a week as well.#and like idk man im feeling very captain o my captain here if you get my meaning#anyways they're all so funny like they do not care and will say fuck to me and i say fuck back#it's great.#anyways. i'm stoned. they know im a stoner too lol.#originally said 17-20 y/o students but tbh they're all 18 except for the one 17 and the one 20
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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.
I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?
i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...
#snap chats#thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA#ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth#obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril#charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses#he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids#of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not#charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good#even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars#so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue#we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students#he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless#im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu#obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially#tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute#i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc#if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart#'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool#i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask#so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA#idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ
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save me ladyklok save me
#as fond as i am of the fashion ppl bring out for ladyklok i think if we're talking genderbent dethklok they'd dress the same#these guys are very attached to their singular simple outfits and i respect it immensely#i gave lady murderface a bit more hair bc 1) im projecting 2) it's the kind of thing i think og murderface would feel insecure about#were he a woman (if he doesn't already)#that random patch of neck hair is MINE and it deserves rep o7#smth about lady skwisgaar (? i gotta come up with a better way to talk about em) really brings out like. the prissy femme in skwisgaar#that already existed to some extent. i think it's like 70% just how i draw her (and og skwisgaar tbh)#the diva remains yknow#anyway toki thinks she's straight wants to marry a man but i see right through her#were she enrolled in public school every time students were asked to carry chairs she was taking as many as possible i just know it#anyway i think i had the most fun w mf and pickles. 1) drawing murderface is just delightful tbh 2) i love old women ty pickles mwah#transfem pickles could very well be balding as well. i made the combover a little more ambigious in that respect#anyway ily receding hairline women. everybody w receding hairlines you are normal dw about it#mtl#metalocalypse#ladyklok#dethklok#toki wartooth#skwisgaar skwigelf#william murderface#nathan explosion#pickles the drummer#also ladyklok (as in the tribute band ladyklok)'s designs are pretty rad too#little things like changing the texture and parting of hair is just. it's nice like those are distinct ppl in dk cosplay#skrunkart
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honestly, in retrospect, it’s so funny of honeypre to give minami a one-off costume from an mv as his 2⭐︎ outfit
…even though his honeypre intro itself says he’s a 1st year student at sakuragaoka h e y—
#honestly i can relate to honeypre in this… misunderstanding someone based off your first impression of them is a big mood tbh#im sorry im still very aixjcjdnxjdjdjsksjs about this minami revelation#minami spinoff w h e n they keep changing things about this poor guy it’s becoming hard to keep track of his lore#first ‘minami’ was just a stage name; now it’s his actual name. then he was a sakuragaoka student; now he’s not.#minami is truly the greatest enigma of hw and we love him for it#sure ft4 havent even revealed their real names that part about them was already established from the start#cant wait for them to reveal. like. minami doesnt actually play piano; rather the harmonica or sth#minamemes
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Youre kidding me. Porter is a multiclass teacher and he wont let one of his students multiclass your fucking kidding me he called gorgug a c+ student while hes taking freshman-junior artificer classes i hate his guts so much my fucking goodness maybe gorgug wouldnt be a c+ student if he wasnt taking on a 400% workload you bitch i hate himmmmmm
#fantasy high spoilers#d20 spoilers#d20 fantasy high#d20 fhjy#fantasy high junior year#how is it that ppl are hating on the rat grinders for things mostly out of their control and being like. petty highschoolers#and not this grown ass adult that is actively getting in the way of his students academic success#like wow this is a teen girl with unresolved mental issues and in a shitty system#and then a teacher who actively insults his student compares him to his close friend and just makes life worse for him#and yet the teen girl is the issue i see how it is#like yeah im on ep 7 so technically i havent gotten that far yet. but im aware enough#to know the hate surrounding kipperlilly and the rat grinders is fucking stupid and mostly has no nuance#yes im saying this in my tags bc tbh i dont freak weirdos telling me how much they hate kipperlilly#like jeezus LMAO#anyway i dont like porter any more in fact i think my disdain has only grown#fuck that guy fr
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Mili from gote to handa!!! these were originally simple doodles but i had to polish it because she's my favorite from the game
#gote to handa#gote and handa#miri gote to handa#or mili.. or milli... im not sure what spelling of her name would be the go to in general fandom translation#love her range of expressions they're so funny so i drew a few here#im still not done clearing up my schedule to go back to my challenge but that dont mean i cant draw in between it :333#would love to draw her more but i have to finish my japanese drills www SOON...#goofy bonus storytime but i debated so much how to draw her prior to this because i didnt know what a junior high was#basically the translation for gote to handa i read described the characters as being in junior high#but im not familiar to english or american school customs outside of movies and such (its feels unreal compared to my culture www)#i tried looking it up but for whatever reason it brought up elementary school... and then middle school?#and i didnt know how to look it up because again im not familiar with english school systems if not superficially HDALJDKAD#so i gave up and read up on japanese school uniform usage and inferred from it that they are middle schoolers#BUT IM STILL SO CONFUSED ON WHAT THE JUNIOR HIGH IS ... i didnt know there were more terms than elementary middle and high school😭😭#in the end its not like how i drew mili is that much different from how i draw characters younger than her tbh BUT I TRY...#just a funny story of how i dont comprehend ... english... american ... school systems at all let me know what a junior high is LOL😭😭#i dont know if its an american or. general english speaking country thing thats why i mention both#is there a catchall word for english country natives in english. there sure is in spanish but would sound strange mixed in www#(i must say the difference between elementary and middle school was crucial because shes said to be in second year)#SO SECOND YEAR OF WHAT WAS. INDEED CRUCIAL because thats a big difference isnt it😭😭😭??? didn't want to draw her too big nor too small lol#and second *year* confused me the most because the term “year” is not used for students younger than what would be high school students her#so yes i was fighting for me life#drotter fights culture shock the story
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LAST DAY OF SHIPS WEEK so i am posting this to SHAME MY HUSBAND INTO FINISHING THE BETH/PAUL FIC HE IS WRITING. jk i love you and you can finish your fanfiction Whenever @chemicalcain but i am too impatient to NOT post this.
anyway. 2006 teen beth flirting with post-fracture paul serene to try to get information out of him is possibly the best excuse to ship them i have ever heard of and i am. obsessed. thank you all for your time
#quantum break#quantum break appreciation month 2024#paul serene#beth wilder#listen this entire concept may or may not have been my idea in the first place#because ive recently gotten REALLY into age gap power dynamic weirdness in ships#(hence raz and luvo. tbh. if im being completely honest.)#and also because i just really fucking love the song 'dont stand so close to me' lmao#its a vibe! its a mood! that song understands the appeal of teacher/student ships. for real.#also im considering offering amnesty for anyone who wants to submit posts for the week themes like. later in the month.#probably the last few days...#like the 28th and the 29th...#i'll post about that later probably.
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Okay I might not have anyone here whos able to contribute to this question but, in the past, I have used 'Hermaphrodite" as a purely scientific word, with heavy stressing that it is not to be confused with the definition of intersex or used to describe actual human beings under any circumstances. This is in part because I've never actually found a good term to replace it, as a lot of suggested terms are... unfitting or somewhat mismatched in a strictly scientific/biological sense. A lot of the suggested terms from more worldbuilding-focused individuals are used more (or strictly) for plants, or at least in 99% of contexts tend to be used for plants or describe slightly more specific things than just "Animal with both sexual systems at once." Plants as a whole have like... god, like ten different terms for various sexual setups because they can be stupidly complicated in a way that you just aren't likely to see with most animals, which tend to be more simplistic (at least slightly, lmao). There's also the slightly more niche issue that a lot of suggested alternatives address the topic from the strict goal of 'replace the word' and thus haven't yet spread to cover some of the specific forms that can apply too, although this would probably be a pretty easy fix if everyone can agree on a term, but at least as it is I still seems like everyone is split 5 different ways on which to use. In terms of fiction/casual use I've generally been defaulting to duel-sexed, which isn't an actual used term as far as I know, just because its pretty self descriptive and also wouldn't have some fringe specific scientific use- which is an issue I'd think you'd only really be bothered by if you were dipped in a lot of discussions about fringe animal biology- which is where I think a lot of suggestions from individuals more on the intersex activism side tend to fall when the terms they raise clash against niche situational biology things. Ive also used non-gonochoristic which is both clunkier and less easily picked up by less familiar individuals, but is also basically strictly 'animal' in use. Recently I've seen cosexual, which admittedly I seemed to have missed because yet again its a term where 99% of its use is isolated to plants, although it seems like there is a handful of uses cases that applied it specifically to animals (But still ultimately fall back on the other term in order to clarify the specifics). At least in terms of recent suggestions its probably the one I think would be most likely to pick up traction as a replacement, but its definitely still mired in the problematic terminology (In that basically everything I've seen use it only commits to using it alongside the other term, rather than attempt to replace it) and also still heavily plant related. Although not to the degrees of some of the popular suggestions like 'monoecious' which is a fairly common and well known word- but its specific relationship with other plant terminology makes it feel ill-fitted for the role when its not going to mixed with plant bullshit. Seriously look at this:
I've also seen bigenital suggested recently, which I frankly think is a much worse/weaker word both in terms of just, terminology and also its finer application. And then a handful of terms that just very blatantly have too much crossover with other things. Also a dozen other words that I've seen floating around over the years, but they definitely exist as mostly peoples personal suggestions/solutions and not ones with any real traction. It's a problem I've seen repeatedly brought up, but have yet to actually see any sort of formal correction take hold. And I think part of that is almost certainly a bit of a clash between nerds trying to maintain the specific definitions of things in an area where theres already a lot of confusing overlap, Activists who rightfully want get things changed but aren't clued in as hard to more niche scientific terminology concerns like "This is specifically for plants who have a specific type of reproduction system organization with their flowers, and thus doesn't quiet work for something that doesn't have multiple sets of genitals in different arrangements as most animals do" and well meaning scientists who want to avoid the word and try using alternatives but ultimately fall back on the one people know and that they know scientifically describes the thing they want to describe even if it also carries a historically negative connotation with it. Which is where I'm realizing I've kinda been sitting, because things really haven't shifted once you sit down and read the stuff that gets put out, and unlike some... other words its specific use case is a bit less easily swapped out with synonyms. So you just fall back in on the less ideal but accepted within the bubble youre working in term. So I guess the question is, has anyone here actually seen something make some ground past just sort of 'this would be a nice replacement'? I'd frankly love if I've just somehow missed a big shift in language in the scientific community, but so often I just see people claim that one term is the new standard when its like... standard in that its used heavily in botany, and there generally is a split between botany and zoology in terms of terminology that people would want to maintain. (God don't let anyone tell you 'male and female' are the only options or bring up that stupid 'its 1st grade biology' bullshit. The world is so stupidly complicated and this would not be an issue if it was so simple but unfortunately we need terminology for all the weird shit exclusively found in three species of cactus) Anyway, I typed this whole thing up kinda just to see if anyone else had yet more terms they've seen around or even used actually properly in a scientific paper, and its a whole mess thats been bothering me with specbio for years and at the end of typing this I'm honestly just hoping more that cosexed/cosexual catches on. I think it forms a nice trifecta with perisexed/intersexed/cosexed. And hey, maybe it has caught on more in the sex and gender side of things (let me know if so, if you happen to be more familiar with that) cause I certainly am more clued in to the non-human biology stuff which is where you get weird things one single species of rose has decided to do we now have to name. On a lighter note. God I hate plants. They give me headaches.
#anyway I've come away from this with a 'unless someone can give me another answer im on team cosexual'#but I still want to see what else people might know/have seen cause im also realizing that maybe being more clued into the#biological side and looking for solutions for the biology side has made me miss developments on the#sex and gender focused subsect#which is just like. nerd blinders i guess. cant cover everything#And yea scientific stuff is woefully outdated and sometimes youre just used to the outdatedness of it even if you like. Know its not ideal#😔 It also doesn't help that a lot of newer literature is done by students#which means that in the context of being a student you can't as easily work in a shift away from the same language your#professors would expect unless you really like wasting money and time. sure you can make essays about proposed new terms but like#how much is that actually shaking things up#SIGH science and scientists suck. Im included tbh although id like to see things change for the better. A lot of others do too#anyway this rant ended up not going anywhere because it#took me so long to type it kinda answered my own question with 'yea i think cosexual is working. or at least is probably the best#ive seen so far' but im gonna post it anyway if anyone wants to dip their toes in and say whatever#but i dont know how many of you are clued into this specific type of issue lmao#h slur#since really its about that#long post
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literature professor moodboard
#Mr Barnard..sir.. i know im bothering you just after your office hours and I know the deadline is due in two hours BUT#I am having problems with my computer so I had to print out my paper and give it to you by hand 🥺🥺 i hope u dont mind#BY THE WAY i would LOVE 2 talk about what u said in the previous week's literary theories class..Shklovsky's place in russian formalism??#omg you drink filter coffe too? i cant go without it tbh. What's your favourite brand? haha omg you're so0oo funny :))#aneurin barnard#aesthetics#moodboard#dark academia#literature student
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okay i need to know, who are these two kids and why are they ALWAYS with ukai sr?? are they family somehow or are they really just students who like him and volleyball enough to visit him at the hospital and watch the match with him??
#im not wrong right like we see them with him all the time and its just never acknowledged?? skdhs i always assumed theyre some of his#students but i never really Thought about it and tbh its so sweet??#hq#2021 reread#ukai sr#ukai ikkei#x
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forcing myself to function through anxiety feels like im piloting an animatronic of myself
#very out of body like keep urself warm bc that helps with anxiety and forcing myself to eat and drink and i even wrote a whole cover letter#and im about to handwash laundry and the whole time my body feels like static#listen im like fine im anxious bc my grandma is now on hospice care and is declining fast and im across the globe from my family#and i was already anxious about a job interview thursday and about not having ajob yet and about my lease ending and about some minor healt#problems im experiencing and about my current research fellowship abroad so now im just in a constant anxiety attack#and tbh i want to talk to my mom about it but shes busy handling everything with my dying grandma#which like her health has been declining for two years it just took a rapid turn this weekend so its not a surprise just this is#bad timing for me personally to be processing this and dreading a call from home#like i'll be fine its just anxiety and stress and like certainly not the first time ive faced grief#i dont really want to talk about it#i just needed to vent it in some way bc i dont really want to talk to the students here about it
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"feels lame in comparison to everyone else" and proceeds to include a batshit crazy experience in the tags
kitt
kitt you can't do that to me
....
did you ever find out where the blood was from?
unfortunately (or fortunately?) i did not
that school system did have a pretty hefty issue w violence though, so i’m assuming some 7th graders just decided fuck this and committed a violence
my personal thought is someone got beat down against the wall by multiple people bc iirc there were like smears in addition to splats
and uh. and then i went to art class and drew furries while being annoyed at my teacher (for being sucks) and my friends friend (also for being sucks. she had a tendency to punch people and then guilt trip you about being like dude don’t punch me)
#dude that school was just. it was kinda fuckin weird#trying to remember if there was anything else weird about it#that was the main issue i ever really had w it was that it was a violent district#also uhhh my history teacher that year kept antagonising students and then giving them detention/basically public humiliation if they -#- responded to him#fuckin hated that guy he sucked ass#one time there was effectively a full class . not intervention per se but it felt planned even tho it wasnt#after he antagonised some kid we were basically just like dude what the fuck is your problem#had a panic attack in math once also. the teacher was incredibly intimidating sometimes#and i forgot to do my homework once and also managed to lose it too so i couldn’t even be like lmao sorry bro didn’t do it#i was like oh fuck oh shit where did it go#and managed to work myself into such a frenzy i had to be sent to the counselor bc i was crying and shaking#i was. not on any sort of medication yet#not entirely sure what might have caused that tbh but. yea#wasn’t fun#glad i got outta that school#luckily was only there 5 months or so#then we moved#and the ppl at my new school (which was a really good district n school n all that) were always like#ohhhh this school sucksssss its so badddddd#meanwhile im like dude i walked past a crime scene on the way to art once. stfu#…#anyway. lore drop i guess#shark answers asks#ambersky#shark originals#shark rambles
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theres a really. special kind of despair in the uncertainty brought about by moments of success and achievement. the inevitable “what now” of reaching your goals. and i kind of wish someone had warned me how hollow graduating university would feel, tbh
#taylor.txt#im miserable primarily for other reasons right now but i dont think i appreciated how much this just…wouldnt feel like anything#i think especially in my case as someone who so desperately needed ‘going away to college’ to get out of my childhood situation#and now for the past 5 years everything ive done has been for the purpose of getting my degree and finishing school#like im fine i guess i just kind of wish i could feel proud of myself or happy its over instead of like dreading the ceremony and feeling#like everything i have to do for grad is just one more thing i have to check off a list. getting my grad photos done felt nice but idk#it kind of feels like no one really cares which. idk why i would expect it to NOT feel that way. but yeah#tl;dr im around Kinda…need to finish stuff up but im over the really busy part of this all. kinda just coasting to the end here tbh#when this is over i’m gonna get to my request fics. prommy. wanted to do them over the long weekend but i was sick :(#anyway like to be clear im fine. people have been pointing out today i seem down and i think embarrassingly a collection of my students#noticed me crying on the bus today but thats life i guess you make do. im sad and thats ok. tbh
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