#im just a failure at life

[ganonfan1995]

Burnt out

[skunkes]

can i ask why ur getting the surgery? /gen curious /no hate

i am getting a bi(lateral)salp(ingectomy) bc i never want to be pregnant or be a parent!

Even if i do change my mind later about the parent thing (not super likely but things can change, sure) theres noooo shortage of single parents lmao

And even if I never End Up In The Circumstance(s) Where I COULD Become Pregnant in my life, I'd want the peace of mind anyway...

I've always felt disgusted that this is something my body is capable of. I want it to be MY body and not a site and vessel for potential tragedy in any direction. And I want it to be something permanent and not dependent on access to services/medicines or even laws!!! Dis is a gender affirming surgery for me honestly...

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Yes, of course I have a thing for the rich lady that sets up elaborate games to hunt and eat people for sport. She’s British she’s posh she’s old she’s commanding and she’s morally revolting. How the hell am I supposed not to have a thing for her

[daily-hanamura]

[creaturefeaster]

Why does twiddle like pain so much? When did it start and did he see jarna as his way of pain so thats why he went to her?

It started the moment he touched down. Every mime felt their own impact when they jettisoned down into the world, but some vessels like Twiddle's were a little weaker, and more unlucky. He sustained a lot of damage on impact and lost a lot of hemolymph right off the bat. It was the first thing he felt so physically, and while a bit disorienting, he found that he quite enjoyed the feeling. Compound that with his tendency towards failure & his ego processing failure as merely incomplete success, pain & punishment just amp him up. It's like a drug.

Of course it took him a while to realize how much he likes it. Having low hemolymph and a weaker body meant he had to take more precautions than most. The risks involved in experiencing pain excite him even more though, he'd come to learn.

His partner in crime Jarna being so aggressive and hostile in the physical realm is just a coincidence, but a very pleasant coincidence as well as the one who helped him realize his masochism much sooner than he would have otherwise. Being buddy-buddy with Rough House the Brute just means you get jostled around more. So that was a source of attraction for him for sure.

[freebooter4ever]

does anyone else have tropes in their own writing that would only make sense to them? if you've ever read multiple fics of mine and come across any background character named 'janet' or any character whose name starts with a 'j' or is similar to that - those are all the same character. Its this weird obsession of mine - to put real life people into my fanfic. And each 'janet' is a new version of my great aunt janet who was, to put it kindly, a holy terror. She was mean to everyone, she hated children (though she tolerated me because i silently did everything she told me to and would help her shell peas on the farm when we visited), and she died old and alone. But her life was pretty sad too - she grew up when women weren't educated much, and she never married and instead of living her own life was left by her older brothers as the caretaker of their mother, basically until the day she died. So in my stories all my 'janet's lead beautifully full and happy lives with lots of friends. None of the main plots are about janet, obviously, but if i need a side character i just plop her in there and invent a better life for her than the one she was stuck with.

I do this with grandma too. If there's a random little old lady in my fic it's probably based on grandma. The most popular being Eleanor from DOA. I even wrote a short story about an old woman who knits and spins her own yarn, and pricks her finger on the spinning wheel to become a superhero and save her suburbs from aliens, but instead of fighting the aliens ends up befriending them and adopts them as a sort of alien cat breed. It was entirely based on grandma jojo, who -if you think my insecurities are bad - is even worse when it comes to believing she can do anything. She doesn't think she can do anything right, so she never wants to do anything because she knows she won't do it well. This baffled grandpa jojo, who used to try to teach her about airplanes and rockets and wanted her to go to college. And this equally baffled me my whole life - when i was really little i apparently wouldnt let her just sit beside me, i made her draw too. So all my stories feature larger than life superhero grandma characters.

And lavender - this is one people have caught me on, lol. Because I use it every chance I get. Grandma callyerdogsoff was a poet and an artist herself, but writing her into stories as a character feels impossible. So instead i use her signature scent. She died in 2010 but sometimes if i think about her i can still smell lavender.

People belittle fangirls, fanfic, and fanartists and say this stuff isn't worth anything compared to 'real' creative work but. I dunno. There's so much more to it than people imagine. I know none of my writing will last beyond my lifetime, and that none of these little tropes will be teased out of it like in english lit class. So whats the harm in writing within already built communities that share an established passion? My 'original' work always feels lonelier than the stuff written with an audience in mind. Why is writing my original work so much better when it just sits there and is never seen by anybody other than me. Compared to the fanfic where im writing my stories about other people's characters and using my words and my particular quirks...and usually interacting with a whole community of friends and fellow writers.

[impostorsshow]

Going insane over yhs grian and time travel I've had a daydream for like a year now about the mcc hosting a special event where each team has a younger version of a previous event winner and the MCC deages and hosts a bunch of teens and young adults for a week to y'know make sure a deaged winner isnt too stressed out. And grian is the only winner on his team and although it would be okay to request to be put on a different team, grian assumes he can bullshit his way through whatever time period and that it'd probably pull from when he was on EVO and it wouldn't be an issue but instead it's yhs like a week after taurtis got hit by a car so he's an absolute mess that has been tortured by Sam and you do not have to be around that man much to be traumatized.

Grian is disqualified as soon as they find out he came from a permadeath world, much less had a panic attack over seeing smajor fall from a high place and they call in someone to replace him but it's too late now they have to babysit grian and like 4 other competitors that were just At the Wrong Time. essentially this would just pull from whatever knowledge I have but i am doing a binge of the series with a friend to reset my memory. Mostly, some key moments of this would go as follows [etophobia warning for the next part, or whatever it is the vomit fear thing EDIT CANNABALISM MENTIONED FUCK HOW DID I FORGET THAT]:

Grian covered his mouth, gagging and exiting the room as quickly as he could, turning down the hallway into a darker room and ducking over the trash bin, retching. He heard a sound to his left, and realized whatever room he had sprinted into had Lizzie and Joel in it [idfk], and god throwing up next to two adults was embarrassing. "Sorry."

"Grian! Are you alright? What happened?" Lizzie grabbed a convenient towel and offered it to the younger man, who took it and gratefully wiped his mouth. "Well, uh. Someone brought beef jerky as a gift for everyone and I couldn't stand the smell."

Lizzie and Joel glanced between each other, before Joel asked. "And what's with beef jerky? Are you really that picky of an eater?"

"uh." Apparently the light teasing was either not picked up or directly ignored by Grian, who just stayed quiet for a moment before covering his mouth with the cloth, only barely removing it to speak. "You wouldn't like beef jerky if... someone used it to ..trick you into eating your girlfriend-" and Grian turned and threw up again, hovering over the bin in the silence he created in the room because god that was a gross thought and stop thinking about it your gonna throw up again- Grian threw up again. He was going to need some water after this.

------------------------------

"Grian, how experienced are you with death? You seem to come from a pretty sheltered homeworld." Gem was walking with Grian, along with Etho to one of the training maps they wanted to show the younger. Something about jumping and swimming?

Grian smiled grimly, trying his best to ignore the thoughts that came up. "Uh, yeah. Very experienced, I wouldn't call my home sheltered in the slightest, it was incredibly dangerous. At least, high school was."

Gem grinned, patting Grains shoulder and Grain tried his best to suppress the shiver that came at the unexpected contact, much less from someone he barely knew. Grian wished he had his best friend here, but he was

"-die alot here." Grian caught the end of Gems sentence, blinking. "Huh? What about death?"

"oh, sorry, I was just saying you'll probably die alot here. It's really easy to fall off of Ace Races map."

"...uh, how far of a fall is it?"

"oh, it's not to the void, don't worry, theres a kill box down there far before you reach the void, don't worry."

"....okay." Grian didn't like the sound of falling, and with how casual Gem was being it couldn't mean actual death. But as far as he had learned from Japan, people would stab each other for fun, and getting a broken leg from a fall did Not sound fun. He would just have to take his time, even if it meant upsetting Sam the people who were teaching him how to compete. Why would the future version of himself risk dying after everything, anyway?

-----------------------------

And other iconic moments such as "Grain is Incredibly Aggressive at Rabbits and Also Deathly Afraid of Them And No One Knows What to Do About It" and "That One Trauma dump about Taurtis Getting Stabbed, Getting Into A Car Accident, And Essentially Dying That Every YHS Fanfic Has" I don't know why I'm advertising it it's just a daydream I can't write because I wouldn't be able to write a good enough variety of characters for MCC of all things

[rivenantiqnerd]

i hate when my parents tell me i dont need to put as much effort into homework assignments because “the stress isnt worth such a small amount of points”

and then because i dont put 100% effort into it i only get 89% and my parents go “a B??! Whats wrong, are you okay?”

bc im supposed to be soo smart

[verved]

every day i am filled w rage at the knowledge that in the mainstream, adhd is rarely seen as the life-ruining disability it is

[willosword]

a little post-comics rewatch note: i think s1 ep6 is a very smart first taste of the general pattern mark tends to fall into when faced with particularly traumatic experiences: ie avoid avoid overcorrect obsess about something else while very obviously drowning in it and letting it dictate all of your future decisions

[hlxtn]

I AM ALIVE OHMGOD

I FEEL SO HORRIBLE FOR GOING AWOL SO SUDDENLY BUt life really wrecked me over the past few months (it's getting better now so its okay) You can read a part of what happened here

but tldr; my friend fucked me over/scammed me during my most vulnerable period and while trying to get ahold of my personal problems I also had to beg for all my money/stock back from the 'friend'. I've been taking socials one-by-one and tumblr is now next for me to come and answer messages and give updates. I will tackle my inbox in the next two days once I get off from work and can properly focus on giving actual replies. Just wanted to quickly update and say I didn't disappear without a reason and I'm really really sorry about that

[mihai-florescu]

hiii how are u doing <33

TIAAA ive been actually doing quite well these past few days. Busy with hosting friends at my parents place and generally exhausting myself with a lot more human interaction than im used to, but i think i needed something like this to challenge me. Got a bit of a headache now from being busy all day and also running into a closed door in the dark so i'll be going to sleep very soon:)) how are you? ^^♡

[prayer-from-pandora]

Guess who failed Latin 🤪

[missazura]

Trying not too think of the worst case scenario but I'm holding on to the possibility of getting fired from my illustration job so it doesn't hurt as much if I expected it

[applejongho]

:/

[tamagotchikgs]

sadness n agonies r getting me tonight lads it feels like theres a big knot inside me getting bigger n tighter at the same time n it hurts so much i have no idea what to do but Stand here. i can even sit im too restless im just standing and trying not to cry