#i dream of a life where im safer and the house isnt going to collapse anytime soon and then maybe
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Trying not too think of the worst case scenario but I'm holding on to the possibility of getting fired from my illustration job so it doesn't hurt as much if I expected it
#personal#i cant even tell if theyre being sincere or just. actually disappointed with me that i cant take in more jobs that i already do#anyway. this is making me wanna kill myself bc i feel like a huge failure for fumbling my dream job#bc im depressed and stuck in a dangerously abusive household#i dream of a life where im safer and the house isnt going to collapse anytime soon and then maybe#just maybe id be a bit more stable to work like a decent person#instead of worrying and dreading day by day#vent
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