#im gonna implode. thats all
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maddogmp3 · 2 years ago
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hello google how to not be stressed over plans that are not stressful. thank you
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ajdrawshq · 1 year ago
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listening to octopath music and drawing and writing stuff for my octopath pmd au so The Horrors(tm) dont get me
#i am getting WAY too in depth with these character profiles but if i dont hyperfocus on it i will implode .#like. we got species (including fusions/variants) types (may differ due to species) (plus an extra type bc of mixing in octopath mechanics)#also bc they can have up to 3 types at once i calculated everyones weaknesses and resistances which is actually kinda fun w tri-typed mons#also movesets up to 9 moves including 8 from their species(es.?) and 1 from their extra type . bc octopath#and abilities which everyone can have up to 2 of bc of how the older pmd games worked#tho each start with one and gain one in a similar way to octopath which allows for more mismatching#and also making it easier to choose fitting abilities for everyone they otherwise woildnt have access to#their IQ groups (tho. i am mildly tempted to scrap that and make my own groups. no yeah thats my next task now)#held items and general/single use items theyd most likely have#and any other individual notes i have on them 👍 like therion being unable to evolve further bc part of his lineage is a 2 stage evo#ohhh i also need to note where everyone comes from. except maybe therion bc we dont know his hometown at all#thats gonna be kinda hard bc each continent has pretty much all the biomes but psmd changed that up a bit..... hm....#and the sand continent is straight up from psmd only unlike the rest so i need to check if theres anything besides deserts there#bc i could theoretically put 2 travellers per continent and go from there.. OH wait that works hold on. im a genius#maybe i need to replay psmd again and see.. i gotta be at least partway in my current playthrough it camt be too hard#id like to mimic where everyone starts out as much as i can.. tho i cant remember if theres a livable tundra area in pmd#still gotta do those iq groups tho . that goes first#octotag
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whoviandoodler · 1 year ago
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I sometimes feel bad for skinny people bcs they'll gain a bit of weight (often via natural weight fluctuation) and immediately have a system failure and thirty two identity crises and then start weeping instead of considering their relationship to fatness and the implications of being terrified to no longer be skinny like. this your first rodeo bud?
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#sometimes u have a day thats just so. i cant even. its seems 2023 is my year of rage#directionless rage. i guess im mad at me but instead of being directed inward it just goes out into empty space#im just fucking. im at my saturation point#its a good thing i stopped taking measurements yesterday and went to the store tomorrow bc im so fucking#mostly bc i noticed a problem with the code for a paper that is fucking less than a day away from being locked in on acceptance#and now its like fucking i have to go through and change a lot and im also less than 48hrs away from another massive project starting#that will occupy my whole fucking waking nightmare of a life. so its a good thing im level headed. its a good thing i can accept my fuck#ups with honestly. bc im so fucking. ive had it. im up to fucking here with everything and i just want it to be done#im fucking full of bitterness and black bile and i want to break things. and whose fault is it? fucking mine#bc im too fucking exhausted constantly all the time to fucking pay attention to what im doing and notic that a fucking function isnt#working properly. fuck u fuck u fuck u. so what r we gonna do abt it?#idk well see what my boss says. i already texted her that news and its good bc at least i caught it but god its so fucking irritating#god. will i b told off for this? maybe. i probably deserve it. haha if so that will send me for an absolute tailspin. i cannot stand to#feel ive done something wrong. even when i kno i have. last time i had a total freakout meltdown and made v bad choices and that wasnt even#this bad. so its a good thing im currently fairly stable bc the desire to make bad choices is very strong#im just so sick and tired of everything and i want to let things implode bc im vindictive against myself. but we must not do that we must#be reasonable. so idk we may have to withdraw the paper. whatever i dont give a fuck. itll get accepted elsewhere. i dont fucking care#leave me alone to dissolve into the dirt and set my data ablaze to be helpful to no one. erase my Prospective impack. i don't fucking care#anyway today sucked. i might have to stay up all night trying to fix this. ensuring that i fuck up the start of the looming project yayyyyy#i hate it here. i stopped having fun over a year ago#itll b fine. im just fucking. im full im impotent rage#unrelated
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moonfurthetemmie · 2 months ago
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I hope one day I have the will to practice drawing and git gud so I can make some evil little bastards kiss after trying to beat the shit out of each other. Because there’s only so much you can do with words
…especially when you have not ever kissed anyone and all your knowledge comes from bad fics written by other people who have (likely) never kissed anyone
#guh#I have so many things to do too. fun things. things that I don’t have time for. it’s not fair#I don’t know if y’all noticed but I already have like three active writing projects.#but there’s also uh. crochet. and games to play.#music things to do. bike to ride (desperately needs its tires pumped up). ROLEPLAYS TO RESPOND TO#although if I stopped fuckin sleeping all afternoon maybe I’d have more time!!!!!!#I don’t know if it’s a wonky sleep schedule or depression but there’s gotta be something I can do about it either way#sighs#anyways. thinking about many blorbos#I would also like to draw much fluff. onyx and raven… cherry and lime….. Ollie and Gecko and Clove and Maggie…..#I’d draw sooo much supernova too. make them almost kill each other#hm. actually. I need to put them in a situation.#okay maybe I have four active writing projects. maybe. big maybe. I have no ideas yet.#onyx and Raven though…..holds them……#actually I want them to hold me.#I wonder how much self insert shit would come out of me having faith in my art skills#and just how many characters I’d make give me a smoochie#oh god I just imagined having all the Koroit alternates I’ve made teasing me affectionately and giving little kisses and I’m#going to implode#fffffuck#well. thats. thats gonna have to happen someday. Hopefully#jesus christ im too gay for this shit (my own thoughts)#yeah that mental image is going to be stuck in my head all night#hh.#send help (money so I can commission someone for this)#(I’m kidding btw)
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highmarshall-azure · 2 years ago
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alicentsgf · 6 months ago
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why are people so pressed about how Alicent ends up this season??? Like hotd hasn’t been good since s1 people also criticized everything back then but tbh Alicent from s1 was always headed to where she ends up?? I thought it was common knowledge that her last choice would always going to be duty vs love and s1 stated very well that Rhaenyra is that freedom for Alicent???? I absolutely hated the things they put Alicent through (alicole sex and for what? All of her sons being a dick to her??) her arc this season was badly executed but to blame and think that the writers are catering to rhaenicents? seems a bit stretch when the ship is hated by the majority of the show. We can argue in the journey of how Alicent get to the point she is now but it was clear for the beginning that the head of TG?? She would never be, sometimes I think that thanks to most of the general viewers didn’t understand Alicent as a character the writers thought if we put her in these humiliating scenes the viewers would understand that she is a victim of the patriarchy and the men who surround her, but I guess not even with that the GA and fandom as whole could ever understand her character and honestly im good with it, she’s a walking contradiction and i have read her character like that since the beginning, good riddance tho to the obnoxious people that kept bad talking Olivia for only doing her job (this is not a dig to you but the extended fandom that are attacking Olivia again for her character)
Why are we upset now? Because we dared to hope lmao. And now we're realising theres absolutely no coming back from this (it was already mostly ruined i know).
I think the issue is the choice between duty and love should have been made when she chose her children and grandchildren over viserys wish for rhaenyra to rule. Choosing love didnt have to and shouldnt have meant choosing rhaenyra. Like finally FINALLY she lets herself cast duty aside, because "what is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms", "you never love anything in the world the way you love your first child", "you imbecile (affectionate)", etc etc. That is what works in line with the original story AND the sympathetic sides of alicent we saw with in season 1. Sure motherhood shouldn't define women but this is a story abt a fucking lineage !! What do people expect. Of course its going to be about parents and children.
F&B might have been bare bones, but it at least had a strong political backbone to it thats been completely removed this season. That direction would have offered more oppertunities for alicent to be explored as a multifacted character. The problem is that because they angled this as a story primarily about misogyny rather than a story about the inevitability of the targaryen line imploding, they maybe thought they couldnt do that without making alicent look like an unsympathetic agent of patriarchy. (Most of the audience read her that way anyway so they did a pretty crappy job avoiding it). Rhaenyra represented a certain freedom for alicent in the story, sure, im not against that at all, but for the writers to suggest literally being with Rhaenyra is what alicent needs to do to achieve freedom from duty? To free herself from the shackles or patriarchy?? (🙄) Its so laughable. Alicents little grandson had to have his head sown back on for his funeral and Rhaenyras faction sent the assassin. Her daughter was traumatised. You dont just fucking come back from that. Really we should have known when viserys died how this was gonna go and I think in some ways we did because a big number of us were upset with the misunderstanding then, we just didnt want to believe what this signaled about where they were taking alicent. People are upset now because alicents character has become totally unrectifiable. We just never believed they'd diverge so much from the known plot points of fire and blood.
As for this bit you said:
" I think that thanks to most of the general viewers didn’t understand Alicent as a character the writers thought if we put her in these humiliating scenes the viewers would understand that she is a victim of the patriarchy and the men who surround her, but I guess not even with that the GA and fandom as whole could ever understand her character and honestly im good with it, she’s a walking contradiction and i have read her character like that since the beginning."
I have thought this myself and unfortunately I think you're right. In an effort to make alicent sympathetic they have created the most convoluted character i've ever laid my eyes on. Towards the end of season 1 we were already saying her being so forgiving after driftmark made no sense, but i was compelled enough by her because of olivias performance of that scene with the knife to be willing to wait to see where they took her this season. And its been an exercise in more of the same stupid shit. The issues in season 1 have just been amplified by the realisation that season 2 is just the same thing again and again and again for alicent. Shes just a punching bag and im sure thats in an attempt to get the audience to feel bad for her, because i cant see any other reason for it, but its just so badly written that shes no longer compelling or interesting or likeable really at all. Theres nothing to root for when you dont know who someone is. I have so little to say about her this season and that hurts honestly. Olivias performances deserved much better writing.
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vypridae · 1 year ago
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nrnfhdhdhhd I know you as the person who draws amazing drawings of the V's- so I want to share some headcannons I have about them since fellow V's enthusiast:
Trans fem Velvette (..she just gives those vibes-)
Intersex Val (I only half headcannon this one)
Omnisexual Velvette (preferring girls because she just. she just is idk-)
Valentino secretly gets flustered at actually romantic gestures because what is this feeling he's the overlord of lust and depravity not love-
Vox is a simp for Val. We already know that though.
Velvette thinks any of her old styles are cringe
Velvette definitely has a full folder of photos and videos of Val and Vox being all gay for eachother because they're too dumb to take any photos for themselves.
Vox's screen lights up when he's flustered
That is all :3
-🦈🧪
FIRST OFF YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT YOU KNOW ME AS SOMEONE WHO DRAWS "AMAZING DRAWINGS OF THE VEES" IM ACTUALLY GONNA IMPLODE ??!?? WHAT HTE FUCK /POS LIKE THANK YOU SO MUCH HELLO
secondly YEESS VEES HCS !!!!! transfem velvette is so 100% something ive thought of before, its not really something i hc like all the way but its sooo genius and i love that, AND INTERSEX VAL . YES . im always a sucker for hcing characters as intersex and / or trans (trans vox actualy is the best hc ever did u know /j)
omni velvette actually makes so much fucking sense what . i like hcing her as lesbian because i lke the idea of her two gay-for-each-other best friends that keep trying to drag her into stuff and she denies them because shes not into them but also ?? in a world with poly vees thats actually so perfect and is 100% what im going with
ALSO YES !!!! YES YES YES YES YES FLUSTERED VAL OVER ROMANTIC GESTURES YEESSESS EYS YES YESY SEYYES im writing a fic thats gonna end with that actually SAHJKJASDFHGK stay tuned ill post it eventually
velvette having a full folder of staticmoth being gay is actually so canon so real . she threatens to use the videos/pictures as blackmail and staticmoth are like when the FUCK did u record these . and shes like its a secret now get to FUCKING WORK
ALSO . VOX'S SCREEN . LIGHTING UP WHEN HES FLUSTERED IS ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE HCS I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND IDEK WHY . us when we share like 90% of these hcs actually
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crguang · 2 months ago
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always love the violinist au lore drops, omg.
so...was their instructor elio? if so thats crazy. always imagined him playing a stringed instrument (like pulling strings, puppeteer-esque bc he's like manipulating the future idk) so i always pictured him playing like violin, or harp. but also maybe bass bc he's sort of setting everything up and he like tells the future, and his v basic instruction (bc lets be honest they're barely following the script, its v lenient) there just wouldnt be stellaron hunters, and usually basses keep everyone on beat, idk.
btw i've been meaning to ask, how does kafka know blade in this au? like very funny to me how the ppl she's closest to in canon are basically her coworkers 😭
also the angst, like damn. them not rlly knowing each other until they meet again, even tho kafka is literally haunted by their presence, omg. and their instructor being a piece of shit and kafka not rlly realizing until later...i can't. and r being insecure and guilty abt it all, im going to implode. and kafka practicing until her fingers bleed ik her fingers are callused af.
also r not being able to recognize that kafka likes them bc of their insecurities, and kafka wearing sunglasses to hide that bc she thinks its so obvious, I'm gonna die. ik they're so annoying whenever kfr hangs out w acheswan. and kafka inviting r to the opera saying "i have two tickets" like blade isnt right there if she rlly needed someone to go with, and she's rich probably and one ticket doesn't mean much, she's so obvious.
but honestly it'd be kind of embarrassing to admit that u like kafka, shes such a loser. could never imagine admitting to liking kafka like that.../s
my finals also didn't start out very well, but im finishing them up this week and then im free for a month. do think i will fail my last one tho. its like my worst subject and im a pretty bad test taker in the first place, but wtv, it'll totally be fine. I'm sure you'll do good tho
-🌠
oh my god i didnt even think that far but i love this a lot. elio playing a string instrument always felt right but the bass especially would be so good… violin and bass sounds right to me it’s added to the lore 😋
kafka and blade…. once again plugging this insane animation about them because while it wouldnt apply exactly to a modern au, this is the vibe they’ve always given me. like no he didnt try to kill himself in front of her but this sort of chance meeting where each of them goes “oh, this one knows emptiness.” is how i want them to find each other every time. to me, blade might be the person that understands kafka the most and his care for her makes me want to die. they obviously care a lot about each other, they’re the best friends ever for me. implicit understanding of how the other works, long comfortable silences, them going through life together… i cant stand kafblade as a ship but i cant even lie like i get it man. blade’s perception of destiny is full of pain bc he’s left to suffer through it while kafka strives to make it her own wow sorry they mean so much to me. im realizing i havent actually answered your question but thats because i havent thought about it too much hejdjfkg i want her to find him on the side of the road or something. but i believe the stellaron hunters understand kafka best that’s why they’re closest to her even if sometimes it’s not the influence she needs
https://youtu.be/EED6XGHX7DI?si=jE7KkuZtSosG0zbB
youtube
kafka with calloused hands is so important to me she’s always wearing gloves now but won’t really wear them when she’s playing the violin because it’s much more intimate that way. UGH r tracing her fingers and knuckles and going over the faded marks there… let’s all cry. hanging out with acheswan and blade has made kafka believe that she’s so obvious she has to wear sunglasses around r for her own sanity but the whole time r is thinking “does she even like me 😣😣😣”, ridiculous. they’re both so stupid it’s really insane that it took them almost 15 years to get together like what’s wrong with them.
“i have two tickets” = i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you—
i would never tell kafka i like her i don’t think this is information she needs to have… it’d be obvious tho and she’d manipulate the shit out of me because of it but thats ok this is literally me
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hope your finals arent too hard bc mine are definitely not going well so far hdhdjfkg but its fine we’ll live to write gp!kafka smushots during winter break
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antikittysocial · 1 month ago
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cuteley IMPLODES. yeah, thats right, im not gonna EXPLODE and let my burning body parts be scattered everywhere for you puny mortals to clean up. no, im going to IMPLODE, and when i do so all of my flesh, my organs, my bones, EVERYTHING will all be CRUSHED into a tiny ball, and i bet it will be so. good. to snack on. delicious, even. would you eat me if i was imploded into a tiny little consumable just surprisingly dense orb?
I would put you in a sandwich :3
delicious. divine even
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hiemaldesirae · 10 months ago
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Swap AU:
Val wasn't too slow, he didn't come at all to Vox's distress call. He thought Vox could handle it. He spends the first 4 years as Alastor's thrall dead, as do most of the soul that Val owns. (Angel included.) Killing Valentino and the souls he owns gets old, however and sinners are getting tired of the same old pornos, so Valentino gets to go back to work, but thanks to their multiple horrible deaths, Valentino and his contracted souls are alot closer. They even have a discord server dedicated to bitching about Alastor. Now that Vox is back, they've added a sever dedicated to getting pictures of Vox for Valentino so they all don't die horrible deaths--and also, Valentino rewards everyone with every new picture with a raise of 50 dollars, so it's nice incentive.
Alastor on the other hand beside killing Valentino and his contracted souls for the first 4 years, made a shrine with Vox's heads--except for the very first one. That one he slept with. That one remain's in his (formerly Vox's) bed everyday, waiting for Alastor's return everynight so he can curl around it and murmur the words he never got to say to his beloved Vox one last time.
When Vox returns, Sir Pentious joins the hotel because Vox has always been his favorite of his favorite of the Vees, and if he's joined another Overlord and started something else, the Sir Pentious will try it out!
Angel Dust is there because he doesn't want to go through the absolute HELL the first 4 years under Alastor was, he wants no repeats. No one Valentino included DOES!
Husker actually loves working with Vox, and loves sending smirks at the very pissed off shadow Alastor (not knowing Alastor is watching from the Shadow's eyes.) and the side hugs, the cuddles, Yeah, they might piss off the Shadow and Alastor even even more but he deserves it--Vox still has nightmares about his near death.
OHH okay okay i see. that clarification. Actually made things 1000x worse for me actually im gonna throw up. this val trusting in voxs abilities to the point where it made him lose one of his best friends for years vs show val jumping to vox the moment that it became clear the other couldnt hold his own..... so sickening what the hell. the guilt that val must feel in specific for voxs disappearance and presumed death- honestly hes probably glad for dying so much those first four years because it took his mind off the fact that it was HIS fault all this happened to vox and him and vel. i just want an oddly tear filled reunion scene with the two vees where vox is like "i thought you guys just didnt think i was important enough to come help" and voxvel start actually bawling bc theyve missed him so much and theyre so glad he's back and *safe*. also the discord server inclusion is hilarious as hell thank you for that mental image nonny
oh my GODD thats actually so sweet im gonna be sick. i just know those former heads are kept clean and swept everyday both by niffty and alastor himself, and the one in his bed is probably propped up by all the most comfortable pillows while alastor himself just goes without a pillow.... WHAT WORDS. what FUCKING words if it was i love you ill actually just implode on the spot nonny ill get raptured and itll be all your fault /lh
+ pentious finally gets an audience with his idol! aww this is so sweet im gonna get cavities. hopefully he doesnt get hit with the kys this time but oh well if he does cause i support my wife committing crimes
Also. Vox having nightmares about the time he nearly died.... do you think that he has like ptsd flashbacks or something everytime he sees a radio. im gonna be SICK fuck oh my god. do tou think ohe day he just . meets al again and immediately tries to run away or something while the other hotel members go to his defense because they know the shit hes been dealing with from al....
p.s. nonny are you planning on turning this into a fic or something anytime soon? because if not.... can i write one based off these ideas 🥹
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stylezxsilvermoon · 3 months ago
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okay yeah ! so i think i am gonna do a xmas theme, also i feel like this "promo" for cool kids / i'm faded is me trying toooooooo hard
(big rant under the cut)
, idk i just get very frustrated at these things so i think im just gonna go back to posting when i wanna, like being so real its always been my dream to be a big account and share with my readers, and at my CORE i still wanna be that but the issue is i dont know WHERE to start, and its not like im a new writer i've been writing since i was like 15 (what i'd consider the writing i like) and im just so ????!! about it, like i feel so physically incapable of being a fandom writer like i can't explain it its everything i want but everytime i work towards it i just self implode and stop posting / stop writing, like i still wanna write OBVIOUSLY but the pressure of wanting to "make it big" destroys me like everytime idek? and it seems so easy when i think about it but then when i do it its like LOL NOPE idc idc how much effort you put in. and yes it could be the fact i've never posted a complete fic so there's really nothing for people to know me for, i just feel like people get "suprised" i write on here LIKE YEAH, i post like insanely haphazardly but yeah i do!! and it feels so preformative and ugh.
also i've struggled for a long time on what i wanna do with this account, i wanna speak up about things which includes RB'ing a shit ton, but ive always had an unhealthy imbalance of what i wanna do on here, i wanna be a writing account but what abt the stuff i wanna bring to light by RB'ing, and yes i have other side accounts but they're all for fun, i dont wanna seperate my intrests because they all belong here, just like i do, its kinda my home atp. i feel like i'm one of those people who you dont miss on dash because i rarely curate my own posts and just silently reblog so ig its kinda my fault. idk, the more ive been thinking i feel like the "big fandom writer" thing isn't gonna be for me, and then AT THE SAME TIME i feel like im shooting myself in the foot everytime i complain and wanna pick up the fight again, but idk ive been whining abt it since i was like 15 and im oh so tired with everything going on in the world so i'm just gonna write my fics.
i feel like i write so diff from everyone else, like when i post something i want it to convey something in you, i want you to feel moved and feel appreciated and loved and happy reading something i make, and i dont even know if my writing is built to do that and i may be just dicksucking myself. idek. i dont wanna post for just notes i wanna talk about what i write with other people and for people to ask me why i chose what i did and why i wrote my stories and how it made them feel or what they like about it, and i just feel like im pandering to an audience that doesn't exist everytime i idek, write author's notes, ask for feedback, talk to people about what they like, i've always taken myself way too seriously and i just feel like modern fandom is so. so.
like i grew up reading 2010's fanfics and thats the kinda vibe i like creating, like 2012 chronically online wattpad stories, with long chapters and chatty authors and a bunch of funny comments, i just idk.
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daniclaytcn · 10 months ago
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hi im the og anon about the oliver interview — you basically hit the nail on the head. im of the belief that eddie has known in some capacity he has feelings for buck and just compartmentalizes it because he didnt think buck swung that way (until now) and even then just doesnt want to touch it because hes repressed and thats A LOT to unpack even if he is aware of it. i want him to just embrace himself.
i saw a different interview after 705 that lou said he wasnt sure if he was in any episodes past 706 so im starting to think that we might have buck get some feelings realization for eddie SOON and buck pining in season 8 perhaps. ik tim says he writes as he goes but i find it hard to believe there wouldnt be some sort of overarching game plan AT ALL for a show like this. maybe the way theyre going about it changed (i think having buck date another guy first is a great idea tbh) but i still think thats the long term plan
anyway i want eddie to be happy and joyful unlike past seasons (like with a catholic guilt arc i want him to just learn to let go and enjoy things dhshdsh) and i want buck to really work on himself because i think realizing his feelings for eddie will be the first step to getting off the wheel. fucking up means he’ll ruin one of the best relationships in his life so he really cant afford to do things the same way. and eddie isnt someone who would go there, so buck has to be
anyway sorry for yapping in your inbox 🫶 thank you for answering my other ask btw!!!!!
yes, everything you said! i don't really have a lot to add except that i think it's important that eddie learns how to let himself want things and actually voice his wants, so i'd genuinely like to see him let go of the pressures of dating seriously with a specific goal in mind (finding a co-parent, etc) and see him kinda casually date around, actually figure out what he likes or wants in a relationship, etc. meanwhile buck can do some serious self-reflection while being single. (this isn't to say that i think both of them should be magically fixed from all their traumas, etc before they get together—that's never gonna happen, and saying something like that has some very messed up implications. but i do think there are a certain number of things they need to do first before being ready for a relationship with *each other* so that it doesn't implode in their faces.)
and feel free to yap in my inbox at any time ajsksksd
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istherewifiinhell · 1 year ago
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[thing im thinking about all the fucking time] i have my g1 megs tag as 'hold that man who is a gun' in honour of funny thing said by someone not prepared to watch an 80s cartoon where a man does in fact hold another man who is a gun. but rather its my tag for the SPECIFIC vibe of. well. when he is held. as a gun. but its a tag i cannot rb posts into cause its apparently TOO specific a vibe.
youd think well, hes a man who is a gun. techicnally this puts him semi under popular tropes of 'living weapon [person dedicates their life to the purpose of violence]' and 'living weapon [person who is objectfied and wielded in violence (comma, literally)]'
but do u know what the god damn problem is. [not with the tropes just with me wanting populate this tag] the gimmick with the first is often about like. regret and remorse. oh theyve become a weapon but life is so much more than that. oh theyve done horrible things thats sad. and worst of all [again for my purposes] now lets heal them from this. lets see them not be this thing any more.
this does not work for my purposes cause. well. He's a gun. and hes a gun cause he wants to shoot people. hes pretty good at it when hes not a gun too. im positive in the grand scope of tf land theres A Megs who fits that kinda vibe. you know. the war is long. or its over. and hes left with the thing hes made of himself. but, to use a phrase from my fav tf toy review. g1 megs is Bad Bastard. hes a warlord. hes a goddamn cartoon villian. the only thing that ever forces his hand imminent treats to his life. which are usually, 1. whatever planet hes currently on is moments away from collasping, imploding, or exploding. 2. literally the most powerful forces of raw power or malevolence in the setting.
thats it. at all other times he seems pretty cool and of his own volition of the whole. Being a gun thing. also he tends to solve those other problems also by Being a gun. a gun that can talk and negotiate and compromise when needed but. still. the necessity of Being the Gun is pretty strong.
the second trope, the mismatch is completely on the objectivified versus object part. if someone is literally objectived and wielded, they are no longer in control, but they are still the instrument of violence. if metaphorical, perhaps the location of violence, the means of violence, but not the true perpetrator. either way. often a feeling that the body is not their own.
but with megs its like, yeah he turns into a hand gun! not a tank. or an automated cannon or turret (thats galv. aka purple megs, which interestingly is him being reformated to one of those malevolent forces will). so hes is an object. that other people can hold, and fire. someone else infact, needs to fire, (well give or take for loose continuity). but the thing is, this is not really a predictament that OTHER people put him into. hes a Man. who is a gun. part of his body is that he is also a gun. he can choose when he transforms, and Be a Gun. And then held, and fired. the depiction of it is usually quite authoritative. and just personality wise. hes not gonna let people forgot that HES THE GUN.
and i mean. to address the holding. specifically to single out oppie. thats someone who is supposedly. less about this whole shooting everything business. i mean. dont get me wrong he very much has a gun and uses it often. its War and hes the Good Guy™. but well he is Not a Gun, and he would not Want to be a gun.
so like. what u have is instead this dynamic of a very bossy gun that takes delight in Being the gun, that sometimes needs to throw himself into the hands of a guy who in the perfect world wouldnt shoot anything.
now granted. extant examples of this are more like 'shoot thing into space' or 'shoot the thing before it explodes' than, more pointed violence thats posed by the presence of The Gun. but go with me here. vibes.
The gun is the means of violence. But to be 'willing to pull the trigger' is to be willing to allow yourself to be the cause, the catalysts of that. so really it is the person who is NOT the gun who becomes implicated in the violence. he is forced to under circumstance, but not, importantly, literally forced, controlled or otherwise overriden.
and ofc. also regarding the intimacy of this arrangement. to complete this act of violence is to hold another person, or to fling yourself towards them and be held. completely fitting into the hands. but its a choice to be held and a choice to catch. and in showing this in smooth and compotent action, implies the not just physical prowess but automatic cooperation and perhaps comfort in the circumstance.
and The Gun is completely fine with this whole situation and is probably gonna laugh at the guy who isnt a gun and say something funny and innuendous as soon as possible.
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plasteredwalls · 4 months ago
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Rant incoming
WHY IS TECHNOLOGY SUPPORT SO GODDAMM DIFFICULT I SWEAR TO GOD.
So. I want to play minecraft online. I don't really use my Microsoft account often but I figure it should be fine. I get signed up for PS Plus, I pay my £6.99, and now I just have to link my Microsoft.
I do the link. I submit the code, then the email, then the password...then the code again then the email then the password and so on so forth until the link expires.
I make a new Microsoft account, as suggested, and it actually seems to be getting somewhere. Until the game is like "Oh you have to sign into the account linked with your game. Yknow, Jyan, which we can remember the name of but not your freaking details".
So I try that. Get in a loop again because it's that outlook email. I sign into Gmail outlook, everything looks fine. I have a string of very recent emails from Amazon about a refund so I know my email *works* at least.
But log in still won't work. So I look on the Microsoft question thing for answers and someone has had the loop issue. There's a link about account recovery. I'm desperate, I mean what the hell nothing else is working, so I use that link. They ask for an alternative email to send me a confirmation where they explain that I did not give them enough details and, as a really really kind courtesy (BECAUSE THATS HOW THEY PHRASED THIS, LIKE IT WAS A COURTESY) they've locked me out of my account :). Yay :). Because they take security reallllly seriously. Except they haven't Because I can still access my emails on the Gmail app but still can't do anything else.
By the way, did you know once you link a Microsoft account to a ps4 account you can NEVER UNLINK AND RELINK A NEW ONE?! Why. What do you GAIN Microsoft. Oh also because ps plus is a paid service they really hate you using it on other accounts of the same ps4 device or really any online features on any account other than the main one. Because what.
So clearly my issue is too complicated for online articles. I've tried and got no where, in any case worse. Let's try reddit - SYKE ALL THE BOTS RUINED REDDIT AND I CANT ACCESS ANY TECH SUPPORT GROUPS TO ASK QUESTIONS MYSELF UNLESS I GET SO MUCH KARMA. GREAT.
So. Microsoft tech support. Please be a good - OH OF COURSE ITS NOT
To summarise this amazinggggg service
1 - CAN'T FIND A RELIABLE NUMBER BECAUSE OF THE SCAMS
1.5 - Google AI summarise RECOMMENDED ME A SCAM NUMBER AS THE OFFICIAL ONE
2 - I can't find anywhere where I can submit a text complaint.
3 - All the search bars just take me to pre written articles as if I haven't read enougj
4 - THEY THEN OFFER ME A PAIDDDDD SERVICE TO "GET FIRST IN LINE FOR GPT TO SOLVE MY ISSUE"
What. The actual. Fuck.
I just want to talk to a human who knows something PLEASE. No none of the articles have helped. No I don't want AI to tell me, it has PROVEN its USELESSNESS. I just wanna talk yo a freaking human, preferably over the phone, who can tell me what to do or initiate some stiff themself because clearly the design has self imploded and IM JUST SO FREAKING FRUSTRATED IM SAT HERE WITH £7 OF A WORTHLESS SUBSCRIPTION AND NO RELIABLE TECH SUPPORT TO FIX IT ALL BECAUSE EMAIL BROKE BUT NOT REALLY.
And that doesn't even BEGIN to worry about whether I'm gonna be able to get my money back on this completely useless service.
So I'm turning to Tumblr. What's tumblrs tech support like??? I don't know, maybe there's a genius out there SOMEWHERE. Because clearly I can't use reddit, thanks barrier to entry :/ and I can't just ring up a human who can actually listen to my words with the nuances that don't fit into the fucking booklet.
If anyone knows anything that could help, please leave your wisdom here I'm frustrated and desperate and don't wanna lose £7 on something I can't even use.
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boyfeminism · 3 months ago
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feel like im gonna have a meltdown and my default way of dealing with this kind of stress/anxiety is just avoidance which is actually making this process worse and i am feeling the gnawing jaws of guilt and shame and i just want to be done and i dont want to keep dragging the same adult into this bc ive had to cancel so many times that im like okay its time to find another person to help and i wish the internets main advice wasnt "find someone to go with you" bc thats not fucking helpful i dont have anyone everyone i know is busy or not qualified or i feel like im causing problems for and i feel like im going to implode of stress and i never want to use rideshare again and i hate having to rely on people in this way all the time
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