#im gonna have to watch it again i fear
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I don't think i'll ever recover from Dev Patel biting off that one guy's nose
#monkey man#dev patel#that movie was such a hall of a ride#loved everything about it#11/10 totally recommend#the ost the visuals the story#it was all so beautiful#im gonna have to watch it again i fear
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wow... what a season. it feels weird to say that this little 6-episode side quest, in all of the 19 seasons of d20, is one of my favorites they've ever done but it just is. it had all the stakes and humor and drama that you could possibly want, all balanced with an incredible cast of players. the table chemistry was excellent, the characters were so perfectly themselves, the TROPES were OFF THE CHARTS!
i can't quite remember the last time i finished something and ached so sharply for there to be more. i just know I'm gonna be thinking about this one for a long time
#i didnt delay watching the ep like i normally would so i feel like ill end up delaying making posts about it instead lol#i dont WANT to. i have lots of thoughts id like to share. but also once i get started putting them to words im gonna get WAY off track.#lots of revising will need to be done.#the adhd is strong with this one.#v excited to continue collecting cool art and fanfics tho. ever since trw ive been on the verge of picking up writing again#and i fear the worst for my already terribly hectic behaviors when it comes to hyperfixation consumption#dimension 20#d20#mentopolis
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this is ranson to me
#like the scene after sheppard randy is trying to so gentle when asking and when benson snaps he doesnt even flinch just keeps watching benso#n with sadness in his eyes finally seeing benson as he is a tragic man who spills blood because hes scared and angry and alone#like benson threatening to kill h and all randy does is try to be empathetic tries to make benson feel better by saying they are okay like#oh my god im gonna drive into a wall telling miss beard benson isnt usually like that and looking concerned OUGGgh i know randy would have#asked again if miss beard didnt join them and benson would lash out punch him in the face shove his pistol in his guts with that animalistic#fear and randy would do nothing but try to comfort benson again explodes#the passenger#the passenger 2023#stockroom syndrome#ranson#benson the passenger#randy bradley#ant posts stuff#fic stuff
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definitely definitely definitely have to go to bed, once again I very much enjoyed all of those episodes but I also have such conflicted feelings...... ahaha
#still... remaining hopeful.......#just like I said last time#the parts I disliked was everything with viktor#and the parts I loved was everything else lol#ohhhhh ahahaha and that act three preview#he's once again gonna get resurrected and it isn't even his choice!!!#don't like how they've treated him nope nope nope#please I am begging you. on hands and knees#huuuuuuhhgggghh im gonna miss the machine herald so much guys#they said the line but THAT'S NOT WHO HE IS.......#don't get hyper fixated on characters just dont do it#I'm literally drenched in sweat#because I was watching that whole episode SWEATING 😭#it's okay I have no fear because we are so back and he will come back and be the machine herald and#(takes gigantic puff of copium joint)#(falls onto the ground in a pathetic heap)
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Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....
#50 MINUTES YEAAAAHHH!! IM SO GLAD THEY HAVE BEEN GETTING LONGER THERE WAS NO WAY!!!#the last drop no..... YEEEEEEEEEEES EKKO!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOD YEEEEEEEES always a dance with you OOOOOOOOHHHHH she even has the same hair 😭#is she gonna build the new zaun for isha.... like vander wanted for vi and powder.... 😭😭😭 with ekko 😭😭😭#watching jinx kill herself over and over is something else that was so funny.... im sorry but ajdkansk#WHATS WITH THOSE CUTS WHATS GOING ON.... WDYM WE ARE MEANT TO LOSE THIS FIGHT??? IN THE FUTURE HE SAW RIGHT???#OH ITS THAT GIRL VI IS CARRYING OMG BUT SHE IS LOOKING FOR JINX!!! NOOO SHE FUCKING DIEEED AMBESSA IS A BEAST!!! DID THEY GET CAIT???#VANDER NOOOO OOOH ITS VIKTOR TOO!!ITS OOOOOOVER maddie being there still..... a consensual workplace relationship... cait....#LORIS!!!! VIIIIIIIIIIIII caitlyn looks so good..... and vi too.... but did they run out of armors.... the guy who left his family DIED TOO!!#caitlyn that was so hot.... they got her.... MADDIE!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK I THOUGHT THAT WOULD NOT EEEEEVER HAPPEN!!! AK WITH HER OWN GUN!#OH MY GOD MEL!!! MADDIE EXECUTED FOR HER CRIMES!!!! i know people are cheering!!! JINX ON HER BLIMP!!! the egg was a distraction.....#jayce be ready for your divorce.... THE HALO!!! THE VOICE!!! his voiced softened when he said to see you omg... SEVIKA NOOOOOOOOO#cait and mel joining forces to maximize their joint (literal) slay against ambessa.... and vi and jinx vs vander.... cruel#beef squashed..... no way she died????? omg... we havent seen caits left side.... and she was bleeding.... one fear. VIKTOR IS SO TALL!!!#how does it feel to look up jayce.... also jinx saying they are always together 🥺🥺 they are flying again.... omg jinx looks so scared...#OH NOOOOOO SEE CAIT HURT HER EYEE viktor saying they want better lives but emotion clashes with reason after a season of just that.... omg#series thesis.... this is actually so meta if i may say so.... vander and silco.... jinx and vi and the rocket... cait and ambessa....#and finally jayce saving viktor.... and jayce searching for the arcane after he was saved as a kid.... all of it..... ALL OF IT....#THE BOY SAVIOR!!!! VIKTOR IS BACK!!!! HE WANTS HIS PARTNER BACK OMG#YES THE MAGE IS VIKTOR!!!! OH MY GOOOD!!! ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THIS! CAITVI FUCKED ON SCREEN AND SOMEHOW THIS IS GAYER!!!#JAYCE!!! YOU ARE ALRIGHT!!! EKKO MADE THAT WITH AN INVERSION OF JAYCES RUNE!! OF COURSE!!! THE WTO MEN AND THE ANOMALY!!!#they are literally adam and steve... VI OMG!!!! SHE CANT TAKE IT NOOOOOO JINX AND VANDER!!!! NOOOO EKKO ALONEEEE NOOOO#SEVIKA COUNCIL MEMBER!!! CAIT GAVE HER HER SEAT!!! AND SINGED AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! MEL WHAT THE HELL!!! BACK TO NOXUS???#caitlyn seeing that jinx escaped through the air ducts... yeah..... she is on that blimp#can you believe we ended arcane with two happy lesbians..... like everything went to hell jayce and viktor saved it and disappeared....#through it all one thing remained.. two lesbians in love <3 can we get an applause for two lesbians in love.... they made a band about this#(love of lesbian)#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#you know towards the end the characters looked a lot more like normal 3d animated... idk how to explain it
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sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them
i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.
under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)
ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.
embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great
back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.
my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)
durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL
'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full
as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL
BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).
tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on
Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive
and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...
once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)
i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)
that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here
before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..
i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....
#snap chats#usually this onea them posts i ramble bout in the tags but i have photos and this is Long long so .. i use the main body for once ...#sorry i gave a biography but i never talk to people and i also love typing. im one of those party can-of-worms i fear#i feel like i could talk about this forever because x-men itself has never been super prominent in my childhood#it was just kinda there in the background BUT comics themselves have always been with me. theyre a keystone to me i think#but yeah. x-men definitely sticks a lot harder than avengers does now OOPS this is not me taking shots i am just SAYING#i have a lot of old marvel doodles tbh .. i found an old deadpool one i remember drawing with my bro during a car ride#kinda funny how much my bro and i bond i dont think of it much but I Guess thats another reason why comics are special to me#we dont bond much- i dont bond with my fam in general tbh we're kinda. Isolated in a way LOL so its cool we're tight at least#if you wanna go deeper bout Comics And My Family my dad really liked comics growing up- more dc tho maybe#apparently he used to draw hulk a lot but if he did those drawings are loooong gone.. at least i know who to blame for me drawing#he loves superman tho. i remember id get embarrassed watching superhero cartoons and superman was on screen when he was around#for some reason i thought id get in trouble if he caught me watching superman but when he did once he was real happy so. tf wrong with me#he loves to say hes superman a lot and id be like Dad... Stop... LMAO but in the cheesiest way possible he do be my hero so. accurate ig#but yeah thats my origin story for why i like comics again thank you for reading if you actually read all that#and sorry it got all sappy Unfortunately i be like that sometimes. i am very emotionally constipated and i over explain a lot#ok i fr gonna end it here im gonna keep going by accident if i thinka any longer and i have stuff i still have to do
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ok well. unfortunate news: sometimes ur niche is so niche u've already niched the niche. this is exactly the same as the feeling of hitting the end of ur ship tag in ao3 🥲
#*slowly morosely untucks the bib and folds it up again#smh#idk if that post breached containment in the wrong direction or what but there were like 3ppl apiece talking about good actual examples#and those were like 99% media i already reaaaadddd im tearjngn my hair out#but far and away most ppl flat out missed the brief#like i think out of almost four thousand tags about four tagged ghost. four tagged geralt. three andrew minyard. etc#sobbung im sad for me AND for yall like this is ur jam and the best u can put up for example is dean winchester????#listen i know im on the supernatural site. voluntarily. but ur really gonna tell me thats the best u can do 😭😭#like a solid handful said bucky barnes. good solid classic example i'll give it to u but its 2024 😭😭😭😭😭😭#all respect to the ppl tagging ocs tho y'all are real 🫡 bc its looking like if we want it we do gotta get in the trenches and write it 😔✊#anywya i came away with approximately one and a half recs and then 3-4 repeated vouchers for media i know i am just never gonna consume rip#and the rest of yall.. have some kinda different media literacy situation going on we went thru v different english programs i fear#😔😔#angie.txt#like i believe the boba fett girlies are right and on to something but i am simply not going down the mouse route on my own dime#so those recs are. moot#not a single trigun mention i dont think.. not vash or nick or i wouldve even given a pass to a shoutout for knives#some of u said kaz and i havent read the books but even just based on the tv series p sure i can respect that.#one i have to look into asap is whoever evan kelmp(?) is- whatever hes from im not familiar and seems promising.#izzy hands im so sorry. im fundamentally incapable of watching ofmd unfortunately i watched black sails first#wasnt aware it was going to ruin other pirate related media for me when i made that decision 😭😭#i respect the arcane shoutouts but i do think it's hilarious that no two of u called out the same character.#murderbot obviously#i just think some of yall are so close yet so far and i want better for us all so goddamn badlyyy#update: i checked and op seems to have been generalizing off of boba fett/wolverine/magneto etc and yeah that tracks#smbdy said john wick - more than one actually- and while i hear u i also invite u to consider:#that man's singular desire is literally to go back into retirement in peace all he wanted was a quiet night in a rocking chair w that dog..#i dont think id go so far as to say he wouldnt know what to do with a warm bed if he got it. or attach himself to sbdy attack dog style atp#ykwim#somebody said patrick bateman.. yall are just listing names atp. darth vader? kylo? all right pack it up folks
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Hey so Snap this is going to be so fucking weird, but honestly don’t care. So I was watching a clip of Drag Race Philippines and it was the make over episode and I think they were making over family members and this father was all about getting into drag. So, I just wanted to tell you never forget how much of a lovely loving kind and caring father you have, who loves you and protects you and makes you feel heard. That’s all.
i'd have to die before i forget how great my dad is thank you for the opportunity to brag about him again anon
#snap chats#no smarmy one-sentence response i fear i never play about my dad's character and its been. A Month so i gotta be earnest#Comically And Topically tho i still wonder wtf my dad meant when he said 'i always thought of being a girl' when i opened up to him#part of me thinks he was just joking and thats probably it but also ....... //audible confusion + vine boom + eyebrow quirking//#its so funny you brought up my dad though i was thinking of visiting him this weekend#last week my Bitch Ass Mom wanted to watch a movie with me and since speak no evil was coming out i proposed we see that#since starting therapy shes been 'trying' to be closer with us but she still doesnt like me on a fundamental level so get bent ig#but she hates horror movies and made a whole show of not wanting to go and how american movies are so brutal and blah blah#this was right after she took me ice skating with her .. cause shes obsessed with ice skating now ... like maam please#i like skating so thank you but ... idk ... she never wants to do things i wanna do#then again we're pretty different i think so. LOL sorry i like horror movies and nothing you like apparently#im glad she didnt come cause i just went with my bro and since the theater was Virtually Empty we just cracked jokes the whole time vjlaekv#plus i just know my mom wouldve been annoying and i wanted to enjoy the movie !!!! which i did ty !!!!!!!#but yk who LOVES horror movies and who i used to watch horror movies with all the time growin up !!!!!!!!!!#i havent seen a movie with my dad in forever.... the last one we saw was so long ago but it was some weird owen wilson movie i think#wait now that ive dragged my mom into this she started therapy Did I Share That. Im Reminding You Anyway#but the most vile thing i ever heard her say was that she admitted to me she never loved my dad 'emotionally'#like wow ..... a thousand life times in hell for you i think i cant even begin to describe the rage chat i could write a novel#but i only have 30 tags so i wont. i should call my dad tho.. this is inspiring me to call my dad thank you anon#if youre still reading Double Thank You. i havent complained about my mom in a while and this was just funny timing overall vjRLKJAEVK#ok im gonna go talk with my dad now. my college friend's coming oevr in like three hours and we're gonna watch glass#cause that came up in convo yesterday Long Story so that should be funny vjlekjlakj
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and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....
#i have never read the books but ive just watched the first 2 narnia movies#it was def my first time seeing prince caspian idk ab the other narnia i probs watched it as a kid#but he..... he is calling me#mr doomed blonde twink who makes poor choices but is doing his best....... welcome back all my muses#i was gonna say welcome back kurt but... tate... levi.... probably more#ive never been. Good at writing fantasy im not great w anything that requires lore#hes just. oh hes calling to me#and the. specifically the pains of living a life in narnia and being king and then having to go back to the real world and be Just A Kid#idk if hes in the third movie im ab to watch it now but the bitter sweet end of 2 where he says hes leaving narnia and he wont be coming ba#and aslan says its bc he has nothing more to learn from it like..... kinda heartbreaking and would destroy u as a person#a world where ur king and u do everything u can to make the right choices but u dont do things really right and u get people killed#and yeah narnia prevails but it doesnt prevail bc of u. its in part bc of u but ur decision cost lives it risked a lot#and then its like. well ur leaving now and thats it bc it taught u what u needed to learn#and like maybe it did but he had no chance at redemption at fixing things there like his redemption was to leave it to someone more capable#and then he has to just like. go be a person. and live a normal life#like thats wild#im gonna go watch the third movie if u have read the books sound off on if u think i should based entirely on my little rant ab peter#the issue here tho. is if i made him. u see. two muses named peter on this blog... both with a last name starting w p.... its almost like.#its almost like one would have to be a solo blog#'but quin ur literally never here anyway' but what if for a hyperfixation muse i was here#this post started w the intent of 'narnia peter solo blog' but now... i am thinking perhaps spider peter would be a better solo bc of his.#bc of the fixation i have#however he intimidates me a Lot as a solo blog bc hes such a. everyone knows him u know hes a Big muse and i fear the pressure of that#then again narnia i think is big too? and theres the talks of the new movies so thats also potentially big muse#its crazy bc i have sososo much muse for every muse i have but my brain is saying abandon this blog and make both peters solos#and i Cant do that#but at the same time................................#my issue has always been too many blogs and being stretched too thin but also. w all due respect. who cares#like i am here to have fun and most of the time my blogs dont last bc no one writes w me not bc i dont want those muses#and yeah theres no guarantee making a new blog would change that but idk. kinda vibe w the idea of starting new
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This game is so bad to play, i now need to figure out how to speedrun what took me 8hrs to figure out so the guy survives, but also no other game has stuck in my mind like this one
I was fucking scooping ice cream at my job and im sitting there like: ok, so maybe if i skip that hallway, but that hallway has all the equipment coin tosses, but if i snag a detour to the armory room and get lucky on tosses-
This game is haunting me and i am, against my will, highly engaged
#fear & hunger#ive been using my legarde is dead run to explore the map more before making another save legarde attempt#and dear fucking god the absolute terror of going into a place you've never seen before#i went into this game knowing a few things! i had stuff spoiled because i watched a youtube vid!#and it still fucking gets me! so bad!#figured out how to break down an iron bar door only to find a completely silent corridor with bloodstains#which lead me to a body with a pair of bone shears in it#and i took them and the stuff from the crates and then sat in my inventory for a while in utter terror#just KNOWING. KNOWING THAT IT WAS GONNA KILL ME SOMEHOW#WHEN I TRIED TO GO BACK DOWN THE HALL#luckily i had dash spec'd so i just zoomed past the ghosts before their animations even finished#but i had to open spotify on my phone and start playing happy music to get the courage to see how it'd fuck me this time#and then i had to pause for another minute to process that if i had been playing any other character#if i didnt have dash and i didnt have a cursed weapon in my inventory#those fucking ghosts woulda just murdered me probably#anyway fuck that hallway im never doing that again the bone shears were not worth it#also i got wombo combo'd by a shaman in the mines shortly after as i kept doing reckless exploration
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alright as of right now i am officially starting to watch sonic x. wish me luck on actually getting through it all and also feel free to threaten my life in my asks if i dont keep watching it
#joking obviously but genuinely i really want to watch it all but i am soooo bad at watching shows all the way through#esp ones that have a good amount of episodes. so maybe not death threats but if you want to be like hey bestie where are you on#sonic x rn perhaps it will motivate me#i have seen i think like maybe the first ten episodes? i started watching it years ago but i stopped veryyy early on#but im starting from the beginning for this 👍#i fear its gonna be a similar issue to prime where you have got to put shadow on screen every so often or i'll get bored#except this time i have to wait a whileeee before he even shows up ToT#idk it'll probably be fine. i literally love like every character so deeply that i dont think it should be an issue#oh i just realized this means i get to watch the episode with helen again YAYYYYY. i love helen#i am not a chris hater but i am part of the crowd that thinks she would've been a better protagonist#anyways. SONIC X TIME BABY!!!!#oh and i am watching the sub dont you worry your pretty little heads. i am NOT subjecting myself to 4kids dub schenanigans#serena.txt#OH I REALIZED THIS COULD BE MISINTERPRETED. im saying wish me luck on getting through it because i am bad at finishing stuff#not because i think its bad or i dont really want to watch it. just to clarify
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ooc. it's admirable that despite cxs being into many people's lives--whether happy ending or bad ending, he still keeps his mentality in check?? kind of?? like he tries to tbh. bro got wicked nightmares of all the people he couldn't save when he goes into the pictures but when he wakes up he's like " 'aight. a new day, let's do our best today!" like how fucked up was when he had to be the basketball guy, chen xiao, and see, well feel the life leaves his mother who is protecting him under the rubble??? thats so traumatic man. you know you could save people but you cannot do that because you can fuck time and space and all that. and u have lu guang yelling in your brain to leave the past and the future alone slfksdfkjsdlkjfsk ffffaaak. xiaoshi is constantly battling his inner strong justice, and the need to help people vs keeping the past/future intact. he tried it once and he fucked the life of Emma. if he hadn't sent the message who knows what could've happened--she might be still alive. it eats him from inside that he tried to do something nice for her and it backfired so badly ended up a target for the serial killer. cxs does his best to heal himself so he can be of use to others but eventually that will break him to pieces and thats why lu guang is always like a hawk..bat...idk from the shadows trying to make sure he does not cause a big mistake and break himself. techincally... ahem mister lu guang did the 'do like what i say, not like what i do' statement and went back in time to save cxs. haha.. idiots. cxs is like an adorable colored glass, so fragile but it can cut you nonetheless. puppy energy but if got pushed to the edge he is a hound ready to tear you apart (exaggeration lol) but still he will aim to hurt. lays on the ground...s3 when? it's unclear how many times did lu guang 'save' xiaoshi because lets be honest, that wild doggy is ready to jump in the line of fire for his friends ..*insert exhibit A*
#building up.| xiaoshi#ooc.| faty speaks#[sHAKES LUGUANG AS HE RUNS TO KNEE TT THEN THE YELL AND ORAORA PUNCHES AT Q WHEN HE GOT SHOT WAAAAAA#[the fear man..#[the oh shit here we go again he died again how in the hell am i going to bring him back again ths idiot?????????#[is2g if this is the plot in the end that luguang keeps bringing him back im gonna kremet crimes#[the guy is destined to die saving someone let him be man XDDD#[that one fanfic i saw..........gaaw...ddd......help me#[someone take the wheel#[im slowly getting passionate about them ngl#[if only and magically i can understand chinese well i'd have no trouble watching the musicals because they are gold#[cxs's actor is pure ....protect him#[LUGUANG ACTOR IS TALLER THATS A CRIME WE NEED TO ADRESS THIS CXS IS TALLER BY 5CM CRIME!!!!
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"if people read the president snow thg prequel they will find him hot and kylo-ify him" rip to those people i knew i would keep hating that motherfucker from the very first chapter
#ive seen a lot of stuff about it though. im mainly blaming the movie for it because i guess it helps put faces into the characters and#being hollywood its obvious he was gonna look hot though its not like that excuse can take you so far here#(havent watched the movie though and idk if i will because i know it wont be that accurate to the book + i fear them playing the#lucy gray/snow angle the same way the thg movies did the love triangle among playing the flashier aspects of it more etc lol)#ALSO not done with the book yet i have six chapters left i think plus the epilogue?#i do know some spoilers but tbh they arent anything that you couldnt see based on the tragedy of it all#and then again its all about their execution too yk.#my post
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sometimes i'll be watching a video or reading up about a certain mental illness from people living with it and im like "oh some of these things are hitting..." but not to an extent that it debilitates my life? but also it feels like its certainly happening more than it should for like normal people lmao and i can never tell if these are just symptoms of my anxiety that cause certain feelings to be heightened or if theres something else going on
#just like for example#im watching this video about schizophrenic delusions#and the ladys talking about how she personally has a thing about mirrors and feeling like theres always a camera in them#or how shes always aware of cops around her because she has a thing about being followed by cops#and im sitting here like oh yeah i too am hyper aware of cops around me cuz i think im gonna end up getting arrested for a crime i didnt#even know i committed#but like thats probably just my anxiety#i do not think im schizophrenic btw im just using this as an example since im here#anyway my point is i'll hear about symptoms sometimes and be like 'oh yeah i have that more than a regular person probably does but also im#aware enough of them generally to be able to ignore it and not let it consume me so its probably a non issue then'#except there are other things where if brought to my attention i literally cannot let it go#but then that also my just be phobia related#like theres some things where if someone mentions it to me i will not be able to stop thinking about it and become very paranoid#im being vague cuz its about a fear i dont like telling people incase its used against me lmao#so you understand my position here#but again.... could just be phobia + anxiety coming together to fuck me up#i did have a therapist tell me once i might have ocd#thats another thing im always questioning#idk im doing a lot of talking im just thinking out loud here but like i would like to be able to go through life sometimes without being#plagued by such thoughts#(the paranoia and shit)
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^v^ and xD by the way lol
#txt#phoenix#i was gonna read dunmeshi but then i didnt#watching aa anime with a friend tomorrow 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹SO EXCITED SO EXCITED#i gave some f/o recs today also#justice for all really does have so many great characters#i planted the matt en.garde seed but i fear she may end up hating him after the character twist LOL#i was right heh... design wise hes perfect for her. before the twist of course#im awesome#ive done it again#i have done it again
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me: yippee yippee friendsgiving tmrw i get to see the people i used to see all the time but have barely seen for awhile!!!
the horrors:
#just me rambling again#sigh. i am very anxious.#one of my recent shitass sad little notes app things i wrote down was making note of the fact that over the past few months i actually have#watched one of my deepest set fears become reality and its sort of fucking me up lately :/#(the people i love and care about would actually have completely happy and fulfilling lives in my absence and thus my presence is in no way#necessary or needed or important to the wholeness of the lives theyre living)#or whatevr#people i loved more than anything are out being happy and moving on and are living life completely ok without thinking about me as a person#which is fine and normal but. uh#not good in my brain lately :((#but! we stay silly :3 been slowly working on a new tattoo its turning out honestly even cuter than i expected#ive got a couple stars on one of my hip bones im gonna add a few more having them sort of curve#and its also exciting bc i think i might have my first professional tattoo when i have the money saved up be#a similar but larger patch of stars on the other hip how cute is that !!!!!!!!!!#little joys keeping me going#alas. the horrors are neverending. but there is always stick and poke tattoos and shitty mixed drinks and danandphil games#AND HYDROXIZINE i love you hydroxizine everyone say thank you frogs doctor for refilling anxiety attack medsssssss
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