#im being vague cuz its about a fear i dont like telling people incase its used against me lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rigginsstreet · 1 year ago

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sometimes i'll be watching a video or reading up about a certain mental illness from people living with it and im like "oh some of these things are hitting..." but not to an extent that it debilitates my life? but also it feels like its certainly happening more than it should for like normal people lmao and i can never tell if these are just symptoms of my anxiety that cause certain feelings to be heightened or if theres something else going on

#just like for example #im watching this video about schizophrenic delusions #and the ladys talking about how she personally has a thing about mirrors and feeling like theres always a camera in them #or how shes always aware of cops around her because she has a thing about being followed by cops #and im sitting here like oh yeah i too am hyper aware of cops around me cuz i think im gonna end up getting arrested for a crime i didnt #even know i committed #but like thats probably just my anxiety #i do not think im schizophrenic btw im just using this as an example since im here #anyway my point is i'll hear about symptoms sometimes and be like 'oh yeah i have that more than a regular person probably does but also im #aware enough of them generally to be able to ignore it and not let it consume me so its probably a non issue then'#except there are other things where if brought to my attention i literally cannot let it go #but then that also my just be phobia related #like theres some things where if someone mentions it to me i will not be able to stop thinking about it and become very paranoid #im being vague cuz its about a fear i dont like telling people incase its used against me lmao #so you understand my position here #but again.... could just be phobia + anxiety coming together to fuck me up #i did have a therapist tell me once i might have ocd #thats another thing im always questioning #idk im doing a lot of talking im just thinking out loud here but like i would like to be able to go through life sometimes without being #plagued by such thoughts #(the paranoia and shit)

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