#im going to write this book damn it
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Screw it , I'm going to write this book.
#inkprilled#ive been going back and forth thinking ill write it eventually maybe next uear but no in doing now#im going to write this book damn it#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#writeblr#spilled writing#writing#writers on tumblr#writers#new writers on tumblr#writing community#writing challenge#book wip#books and reading#writers community#writers corner#dead above#writers of tumblr
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Last night I saw the Great Gatsby musical. Before I went, I reread the Great Gatsby book (for the first time since 11th grade!) to get a refresher on the source material and the original story. Having the book so fresh in my mind made seeing the musical really interesting, and now I am going to do something I never thought I'd do, which is post some lengthy meta about The Great Gatsby. If you haven't seen the musical, this post may still be interesting to read, but it does contain some mild spoilers, so I leave that up to you. If you also haven't read the book, godspeed lol.
There's a lot I could talk about here when it comes to the way the book was adapted for the stage. But there's one particular thing I want to zero in on in this post, and that's the "unreliable narrator" of it all.
In the book, Nick Carraway is our narrator. He's an unreliable narrator practically by default - the idea is that he's retelling events that occurred two years prior, from memory. But even knowing that Nick is probably not reporting all events and characters with complete accuracy, it's hard to know which parts exactly are wrong, or what might have happened in reality, because even though he's an unreliable narrator, he's still the only narrator and this is the only version of events we know. We're forced to take Nick as our surrogate and take him at his word. Until the musical.
(I wondered how the show was going to deal with the fact that the story of Great Gatsby is not only told by an unreliable narrator but also by an outside perspective - generally speaking the events of the Great Gatsby aren't happening to Nick, they're just kind of happening around him. Yet he's the voice of the story, so in that way he's central to it, and I was curious how they were going to balance that fact with the fact that Gatsby is functionally the main character.
I think they struck a really good balance in the end. Nick's beginning and ending lines, lifted verbatim from his book narration, frame him clearly as the anchor of the story - I think that's the best word for it; the audience jumps from scene to scene, many but not all of which contain Nick, but we know that Nick is always going to be where the action is, or that he will at least know about it. He may not be the main character, but he's an essential character. But I digress a little bit.)
The difference between the way the story is imparted to the audience in the book versus in the musical boils down to this: in the book, Nick "plays" every character, so all their dialogue and actions, their mannerisms and the way they're described and reported, it's all informed by the beliefs Nick holds about them. Whether he means to or not, his biases paint certain characters in certain lights, and because he is our eyes and ears to the story, we have no choice but to absorb those biases.
But in the musical, every character is literally played by a different actor. Nick can only speak for himself. Nick can only tell his own parts as they happened. He may be "telling" the story, but we're watching the story. We have the benefit of an unblemished perspective on things - we can watch the events the way they actually unfold, regardless of how Nick believes or remembers they went down.
This difference - between Nick as the narrator and Nick as merely his own voice - is crucial in how the musical develops each character, some of them fairly different from how Nick described them in the book. And there's one book-to-stage change - a fairly small one, all things considered - that, to me, illustrated this difference perfectly.
There's a line towards the end of the Gatsby book. Something Nick says in narration, after his final conversation with Tom Buchanan, talking about how Tom gave away Gatsby's name and location to George Wilson (which ultimately led to Gatsby's death). Nick writes:
"I couldn’t forgive him or like him, but I saw that what he had done was, to him, entirely justified. It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made…"
When I read this line in the book, I couldn't help vehemently agreeing. Screw those rich assholes! Money does corrupt! Tom and Daisy ARE careless wealthy people! It was easy to side with Nick, not only because he was the only perspective on the situation that I had, but also because he said this in internal response to a conversation with Tom, who, I think we can all agree, is a major jackass and a deeply unsympathetic character.
But in the musical, this line is spoken aloud by Nick. And he says it to Daisy, in her house, as she's packing up to skip town after Gatsby's death. In fact, he doesn't just say it; he shouts it, visibly and audibly outraged at her audacity to lead Gatsby on, ghost him, skip his funeral, and then move away to avoid the fallout. Nick is angry and highly critical of Daisy. But because we're no longer confined to his shoes, we also get to see Daisy's reaction - not as Nick remembers it, but as Daisy actually reacts. And because of that, we're able to really see, and confirm, that "Daisy is rich and careless" is not the full story.
I have to credit Eva Noblezada for a phenomenal performance (duh). Daisy in this scene is emotional, grieving, and it's clear she has been trying to contain these feelings for the sake of her husband and her own sanity. She's remorseful, not that Gatsby is gone necessarily, but that she allowed herself to entertain the fantasy of running away with him, only for it to be torn from her. She is trying to make the best of her unavoidable reality. And then Nick tears her a new one, calling her careless, accusing her of destroying things and being too rich to care.
And as I watched that scene, I was no longer wholly on Nick's side. I understood that this situation was so much more complex than Nick's chastisement acknowledged. Sure, Daisy wasn't innocent, but she also wasn't the callous rich girl Nick made her out to be. She did love Gatsby. And she also had a whole life with Tom. She had a daughter. She was a woman in the 1920s! That's a kind of life sentence even wealth can't erase.
The way Daisy responded may not quite have landed with Nick (if we consider the kind of fun possibility that the musical is the events as they happened and the book is Nick retelling those events as he remembers them two years later, then clearly Nick's disdain for Daisy's actions overtook whatever sympathy he felt for her), but the musical gave Daisy the opportunity to appeal to us. The audience. Having this omniscient perspective of things allowed us to draw our own conclusions, and I found myself a lot more sympathetic towards Daisy when I could both see and hear how she responded to Nick's verbal castigation.
In the book, Nick is the narrator. In the musical, Nick is a narrator. But he's no longer the sole arbiter of the story. The audience got to make our own judgements on the events as we witnessed them. Every one of us was a Nick - beholden to our own biases, maybe, but at least not beholden to his.
#gatsby musical#the great gatsby#great gatsby musical#tgg#also this is a separate and much smaller point not worthy of its own post but: jordan baker bro.#she's a flat and fairly inconsequential character in the book#in the show she comes ALIVE not only is she a real person but she is a cool person with dimension#and she's a baddie and i love her#stuff#never thought id be writing a long tumblr post tagged with anything gatsby related but here we are!#broadway the things you make me do. jeremy jordan the man that you are#jeremy jordan#bold of me to tag that way but im going for it! hes in the show it counts#noah j ricketts#eva noblezada#damn guys this post kinda slaps#wait fuck i have to do one more tag#sighs deeply.#gatsby meta#great gatsby analysis
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really fucking sick and tired of people who really fucking love the eddie book jumping on people who don't like or are even remotely critical of it's posts and like crusading their opinions around from the top of their high horses and shoving it down our throats.
if you like the book, great! that's awesome! love that for you! i am genuinely glad that you were able to find good in it and enjoy it!!
but not everyone did, and not everyone is going to agree with you. so, instead of going on some grand crusade where you find every single post that includes anything even remotely negative or negative adjacent or even neutrally critical and spending ALL this time and effort trying to provide unwanted rebuttals to every single thing, maybe you should just stay in your lane and find people who DO like the book and chat about it with them.
because i can PROMISE YOU, none of us appreciate it when you come onto our posts and start accusing us of "hating on" the author or "being rude" about her and her work and RIDICULOUS shit like that.
being critical of something and pointing out it's flaws is NOT inherently hating on it. i, frankly, do not know where people got that notion, but it's not fucking true so can we fucking quit assuming it is? and, critiquing something is also NOT the same as saying this is shit and it sucks and the author is a piece of garbage. again, where the fuck that came from is beyond me. you can be critical of something and still enjoy it. as soooo many of you love to point out, it's not perfect, why should it be perfect? so D U H. of course that means criticism can and should arise???
also. hot take (by which i mean ice fucking cold because it's NOT a fucking hot take), but going around toting FALSE facts as part of your "defense" does not make you or your argument look good. you, like the author, should maybe do a basic fact check first. 🙃
tldr, if you like the book, that's genuinely great, but stay in your fucking lane and stop seeking out posts from people who didn't like it to start shit in the notes.
#flight of icarus#stranger things#this has happened to me and to so many of my friends and im fucking SICK of it#i didn't even hate the book either!! i thought it was just okay#and yet i STILL get all these book lovers jumping down my throat about things i say about the book#things that - HONESTLY are not even like that scathing!!!!!#like god damn all im asking for is a little BASIC effort from the author and they all think thats me asking for her head on a platter#its NOT#i have no problem with the author#she's whatever to me honestly just a vessel through which the book was given to us#ALSO she is some nebulous blob way outside my orbit. AS IN any critiques i have of her and her work are NOT direct assaults on her???#like i dont fucking KNOW her#im not saying any of this to her face#she is a published writer she should KNOW the risks she is taking when she publishes her writing#not everyone is going to like it! there are going to be people who are critical of it! there are going to be people who hate it!#critiques and pointing out mistakes and wishing for things to have been different is not a fucking direct attack#those things are actually pretty fucking common responses to ANYTHING#and a lot of times theyre actually meant as useful helpful things geared towards improvement and not something to tear someone down with#some people on the internet need to go touch grass and learn how to CRITICALLY THINK again#the world is not as black and white as you think#n e ways. rant over. if you stuck around through all of that kudos to you. i am just. at the end of my rope with this bullshit.
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good or bad news depending on your attention span my kcd2 ""critique"" is currently 3k+ words and I'm not even sure if it's done or not
#i don't even know if i want to post it who tf is gonna read all that#and now im looking at this like. damn this really is incomprehensible to everyone but me#and this is just me talking about general things . ive refrained from going into detail bc itll be a book atp .#tempting but im not gonna be annoying for no reason. at least not any more than i have to#if im gonna write so much i could at least try to pretend to be professional and write a proper critique . nah#i can barely write my english essays what am i doing w my life actually#what being unemployed does to a mf#six speaks
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Me being so petty because my TPT dream was wrecked, hating on other Jurdan fans, generalizing them into one group of people that made Holly write a disappointing TPT because of their obsession with Jurdan content and demanding Jurdan contents, not caring about the real main characters of TSH duology which are Wren and Oak, they deserve better :
THIS IS NOT ABOUT THEM

#im sorry ik not all of you are like that but I'm still pissed and bitter lemme soak in my bitterness#the prisoner's throne#the stolen heir#oak x wren#holly black#look im also a jurdan fan but i dont go around asking for them all the damn time there's time and place#tfota#we dk what made Holly write tpt the way she did. I'm just theorizing out of spite#maybe she just got bored of oak x wren and wanted it over with asap#maybe she feels oak x wren aren't as marketably popular as jurdan#maybe i need to stop thinking authors owe it to me to write a good book
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i feel like i got severance'd when i started liking looney tunes and anytime i stop being obsessed w it for a while thats just like. a different guy. hm i was really obsessed w dragon ball in january and drew fanart and was planning on watching every piece of dragon ball media ever.... #dont remember #dont care. who was that guy. this has been going on for years and it really shouldnt surprise me at this point and on some level it doesnt even really bother me but it somehow shocks me every single time.
#ITS REALLY SO WEIRD !!!!! ILL NEVER UNDERSTAND#like on some level i KNEW i wasnt gonna get through all dragon ball media before losing interest#but internally i kinda dont *really* know that. like in the back of my head i was like “hmm but THIS one will be the exception”#i was plowing through library books right before this latest looney tunes bout an i have like 10+ checked out right now#and now im like hmmm dont really care abt these anymore.... not sure why i checked a lot of them out in the first place...oh except this on#i can relate it to looney tunes tangentially ok ill keep that one#*wakes up surrounded by a bunch of weird ass library books and writings* damn who the fuck closed last night#who was in my room reading the bible and the marquis de sade. cuz i dont think that was me that doesnt sound like something id do#where did these outlines for a bizzare paradise lost style epic in my docs come from#sry to the charlie who wrote those ig youll have to take a break for a while i got struck by the looney tunes lightning again#its not even like i do too much at one time or i run outta the most interesting content its like a pretty predictable timescale so im kinda#racing against the clock. like ok i have ONE MORE WEEK of dragon ball interest to finish ALL of it. right now it FEELS like ill never#be interested in anything else but ik i will so i gotta hurry#and now it feels like i literally might never watch anything dragon ball related again and that doesnt bother me at all#ive tried pacing myself to make the interest last longer too an it jus doesnt work... it comes an goes whenever#fascinating. can someone dissect my brain and tell me what the fucks going on in there#charlie words
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IM STILL AGONIZING OVER IT i even checked and i think the ONLY TIME I briefly BRIEFLY mentioned was in ch3, a short mention of silver falling asleep on kalim's shoulder. so like at least i didn't 100% forget it at all but like i def forgot A Lot
#sobbing crying etc im going to be killed for this u know how it is#i just have to write ten thousand fanfics with silver in them until i can figure out how to write him decently lol#silver i love u ...#like i said before i do think it's a lot bc of book 7 hes not sleepy in the dream realm and i just like. forgot .#and yknow i dont wanna flanderize a character too hard but like damn i still dont wanna forget those key traits either lmao#agony....#whatever i already talked about this last night when i was going to sleep lmao but im still reeling over it#SILVERRRRRRR WAHHHHH#anway damn i posted the first ch a year ago#shakes myself by the shoulders come on we are in the end zone WE NEED TO FINISH!!!!
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I haven't wanted to write fic in years, but the itch is here.
#i want to write a whole length fucking book on mirani having to go back to skyhold#fending off darkspawn#dealing with orlais and fereldan at each other's throats again#everything that she has to do damn near alone#ughhh#jay rambles#i need to do it#the people deserve to know#(its me)#(im people)#tbd
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Steve tugs at him again and Bucky goes willingly into his lap, moaning at how far his thighs have to stretch to straddle him and Steve groans too, hands finding Bucky’s ass and gripping hard as he nips at Bucky’s throat. His nose drags up the column of it, “God, baby,” Steve whispers, and Bucky shudders at the desperation in his voice, his hands on Bucky’s hips tight and hard, pulling him closer so his hardening cock gets ground into Steve’s stomach.
Razorblade Without a Handle- Chapter 5.
#im going to need this fic in book form#can i order one already?!#it's so damn good#stella's writing is on FIRE#razorblade without a handle#stuckony#steve/bucky/tony#steve/bucky#Stuckonstuckony fic
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SCREAMING INTO MY HAND HITTING THE TABLE CRYING STIMMING REELING C R I N K L I N G MICROWAVING COMBUSTING DEMATERIALIZING
#ooooh my god 😭😭#im so ready to see my blorbo be a dick and simultaneously get into a fight with laszlo#ive been thinking of harvard trio ALL THE FUCKING TIME since i read the book and watched the series#and im so READY to see my blorbo also almost go insane over some girl#cause if you know you know and then we both know and i already know so i know that i know that im going to go crazy over it#when this book comes out you're not seeing me for the next five weeks#but in case im too vague#theodore roosevelt#you dont understand how excited i am#in my opinion there was not enough of him no i am not biased what do you mean#like... HIM#you know???#the clip in the TNT youtube video of him with two of the kids (reasonably assuming it was alice and archie) made me almost scream#and the WALL of pictures???? oh my GOD#i know so much about this man's harvard years and around the same time period so im hoping it's at least mentioned ONCE#if i dont get it then god fucking damn it ill write it myself#the alienist#i finally add that tag lmao#sara howard#laszlo kriezler#ooooooh im not ready for this
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honestly hozier had no damn right to make such a heartbreaking album with such a crazy concept.
Who the hell makes an album about the circles of hell based of dante's inferno.
#hozier#unreal unearth#hozier wants me to throw myself off a bridge#this album feels like im floating and descending at the same time#make it make sense#thats hozier for you#now that im writing this both me and hozier need therapy#im going to buy the damn book now
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recalled today that the plural form of court-martial is “courtS-martial.” oh and it’s always hyphenated. utterly devastated
#it’s the little things that prove i don’t know what im talking about#if you have any actual knowledge of aerospace/defense i bet my fics are the most fucking infuriating thing to read in the world#ive certainly read it pluralized and hyphenated before but like it just slips one’s mind while writing#I am going to do a final pass edit at the end of the summer before i print out my final document#which is now. i am not joking. well over 600 pages.#mental illness.#too obsessed with IP syndrome (many such cases)#anyway so i will fix all the courts-martial in that edit pass#please for the love of god if there are other annoying incorrect things in my fics that you notice#please please tell me before the end of the summer so i can fix it#like anything that will take less than 15 mins to fix i will do it#by July 31st please let me know#trying my best to commit the AP style book to memory but god. damn.#I also just found a hyphenated ‘brad-ley’ in debriefing when rereading just now#jumped out of my skin and wanted to kay em ess#typos. typos. it’s typos all the way down. my worst nightmare.#process poasting#also im three paragraphs away from finishing my next prompt fill so I’ll start posting more regularly again soon
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"I don't have speak with animals cast and yet this jackass is still talking to me."
#i wish hubs knew which npc i was talking about bc i have no memory of who (thanks migraine) but i do remember saying it#and then giggling for about 20 mins#so i thought id share the laugh#the witch speaks#this game is so much fun yall im having a blast#i do wish that being friendly options didnt lead to fuck ya romance though bc id love to share a bottpenof wine with shadowheart#but i am not romancing her this round. just...friendship things i guess? i am picking things that make me go !friend!#and discovering oh. that was a come on. ugh.#i am enjoying romancing karlach though. shes so damned cute with her lil idle dance#'dont open the creepy book' will live in my head forever#oddly enough i have no desire to write anything? im just enjoying it and THAT IS SO NICE#still weird that everyone appears to have went bananas over the pasty pointy eared character with a hidden agenda#but im not surprised bc ive got several nickels and zero interest in said characters#i just dont see the appeal. not with the other companions right there. and halsin's biceps.#doesnt help the twink with boundary issues killed me. zero star lad.
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OH should I do another silly little fashion video based on my actual book?
#idk why im asking im probably going to do this#I just found a copy of adeste that I annotated a year ago and.... damn I used to be able to write#noura's writing tag#yes I annotated my own book. I am have insane after all.
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Thinking about rereading Sentido before I reread ITNL
I peeked in the last chapter and I was like "damn ok this is actually kinda good"
#speculation nation#im a little harsh on Sentido Primarily due to the frustration that a practice drabble piece is my 2nd most popular fic hfkshfj#like i KNOWWWWW it couldve been better. 😭 i didnt know so many ppl were gonna read it#but even tho it was just a practice piece to get a feel for writing these characters. it Is decent writing.#and it'll help get me in the brain state for continuing itnl. bc like#it was suggested in chapter 7 with the whole chicken head thing. 'your hair looks like a feathered ass'#but for the itnl prior vashwood im taking a page out of my own book#combining actual canon with the way things are Not Quite Romance but still very emotionally intimate in Sentido#the pre-romance that in itnl never really gets the chance to be actual romance. bc of Everything.#it's good to have in mind for going into the next stuff of ITNL. bc wolfwood is never far from vash's mind.#also i just like rereading my own writing sometimes. it's good for self confidence.#like 'you mean I wrote that??? wow ok' rinse and repeat#i love my own writing. sometimes im critical of it when i know it could be better. but i still love it.#itnl shit#man i dont have a tag for Sentido bc i was expecting to just write it and be done with it#but over 600 ppl have read and liked it so im just like. damn. this really is a thing that's continuing on its own huh?#then there's the followup one shot i wanted to do.... maybe someday...
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finished this is how u lose the time war :0
#took me a hot sec like this is <200 pages but i took like a week#whereas i took like 3-4 days for the 500-700(?) pg last hrs books recently lol#idk it was different from what i usually read i think#also time travel fucking confuses me it’s so hard to wrap my head around LOL#but the writing was rly interesting to read#so that and the fact that i have heard a lot of ppl raving abt this book kept me going#like also at no point did i Want to stop i was just confused LOL#IM STILL THINKING ABT THE END BRO OK#when the things started BEING PUT TOGETHER IN MY HEAD#the thing abt me is im NAWT gonna be able to figure it out#until that shit is OBVIOUS LMFAO#but when it was becoming obvious i was like HUH OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK#literally said what the fuck out loud a few times good thing i’m alone in my apt#i do honestly want to reread it just like knowing what is actually happening now#biggest thing for me and it might be my aroace ass but i like didn’t rly get the ~development~ of the relationship#it felt like it was just there al of a sudden#idk it kinda made me feel like i missed smth tho and i was so like getting used to it at the very beginning#so maybe it would help to reread#but once it was there i did enjoy it c:#saw a post recently that was like aromanticism be like romance is so cool wish it was real#me reading these things like damn thats love???#love reading it. wish it were a real thing 😔#well i did successfully stop thinking abt sh/adowhunter nonsense to finish the book and now i can’t stop thinking abt the book lol#jeanne talks
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