#this has happened to me and to so many of my friends and im fucking SICK of it
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Wow. Criminal law seems really hard. And to me, you seem magic. I can't cram, I actually need spaced out revision, it's a curse I tell you.
But anyway! May I humbly request a smau with Max Verstappen and male!snowboarder!reader who's won like a bunch of medals and trophies in multiple snowboarding categories and even a couple skiing ones just for fun (like he has a whole room full of them because there's so many and most of them are high level competitions too). But. BUT. He's actually more invested in model building. Models of what you might ask. Everything, everything from trains to animals to Buckingham Palace to people and even to entire skylines. He's really good at it too, they're all very realistic. He's the type of person to be like "OMG!!!! Just finished my model of the New York skyline!!!! Isn't it so pretty? (And I have this gold medal from the Olympics.)"
Thank you!
i know nothing abt snowboarding so hopefully this is how you saw it!
max verstappen x male!snowboarder!reader
synopsis: you would think you would show off your gold medals to the world, but no. you showed off the models you made together with your boyfriend
author's note: as stated above i know like nothing abt snowboarding so i kind of just used the pictures and vague descriptions. for this i used a lot of pictures of lego builds bc i fuck so heavy with legos and they look so cool. hope that's okay! it isn't very long bc im still not the best at smaus but hopefully you like it!
yourusername
❤️ 75.7k ��� 55.4k ➣ 43.2k
liked by lego and others
yourusername guys guys guys guys guys. look at my legos!! aren't they so pretty
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lego i think this guy likes legos ╰┈➤yourusername does this mean we're friends now?
user1 i forget he's literally an olympic gold medalist and not just some lego freak 😭 ❤️ liked by the author
user2 this is the same guy who is srsly incredible at snowboarding? the same guy who is dating max verstappen, four time world champion?? THE SAME GUY WHO HAS LIKE TWO GOLD MEDALS??? ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 three medals* ╰┈➤user2 my bad dawg 😭
user3 bro i need y/n's wallet ╰┈➤user4 max's* ╰┈➤youruser user4 nah he's my sugar baby maxverstappen1 ╰┈➤redbullracing can confirm
maxverstappen1 schatje, where are you going to put those? ╰┈➤yourusername i put more of your trophies in storage 😇 ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 wow. ╰┈➤user5 how many times has this happened ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 too many 😔
maxverstappen1
❤️ 127k 💬 1,287 ➣ 9,567
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maxverstappen1 remember guys, he's a gold medalist and not an overgrown child
tagged yourusername
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yourusername well i would hope im not a child that would be weird 🤨 ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 you're the worst 🤦🏼♂️ ╰┈➤yourusername but you love me 😘 ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 unfortunately 🫶🏻💙
oscarpiastri when can we build more legos yourusername ╰┈➤yourusername bring logansargeant and some food and we can build some today ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 seriously?? didn't they just come over?? ╰┈➤yourusername shh maxverstappen1 ╰┈➤logansargeant yeah maxverstappen1 shhh ╰┈➤oscarpiastri plus we're already on our way ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 i give up
user6 i love how y/n is best friends with oscar and logan
user7 if my relationship isn't like max and y/n's, i don't want it ╰┈➤user8 but that means you gotta get a bf first
user9 they're so cute together oml 🥹
yourusername posted a story
convinced maxverstappen1 to build legos with me 🥰
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oscarpiastri how much did it take? ➾yourusername three hours of playing on the sim with him 😔 ➾oscarpiastri good luck man 🫡 ➾yourusername ty 😔
lando holy fuck you actually did it ➾yourusername just as surprising to me
user10 LEGO DATE NIGHT!!!
user11 max is gonna have to make more room on his shelves
user12 stop this is so cute 🥹
maxverstappen1
❤️ 263k 💬 5,490 ➣ 3,421
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maxverstappen1 🏂
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yourusername that's it?? just 🏂?? for our two year anniversary?? couch ╰┈➤user13 did we just witness max getting banished to the couch? ╰┈➤lando this has got to be worth fifteen lego sets ╰┈➤yourusername AT LEAST FIFTEEN ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 okay 😔
danielricciardo yeah bro, you're in the dog house now ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 help? ╰┈➤danielricciardo nah mate you're on your own
user14 max just gave up oml 😭 ╰┈➤user15 y/n's the same way omg ╰┈➤user16 they know when not to mess with their boyfriend 🤷♂️ ╰┈➤user17 they're just too cute
user18 user19 take notes ╰┈➤user19 yes ma'am
user20 oh max is cooked 😭 ❤️ like by yourusername ╰┈➤user21 NOT Y/N LIKKNG THIS
yourusername still love you tho 🫶🏻 ╰┈➤oscarpiastri wonder why 🤔 ╰┈➤yourusername i mean have you seen those thighs 😍😩 ╰┈➤maxverstappen1 love you too ╰┈➤lando yourusername stop being horny on main ╰┈➤yourusername lando stop being jealous of main ✋️🙄
TAGS! (if you want to be added lmk!)
@op-81-lvr-reblogs, @koalapastries, @justaf1girl, @ghostking4m, @spoonfulofmilo, @seonghwaexile, @alex-wotton
#f1 x reader#f1 x male reader#formula one x reader#formula 1 x male reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x male reader#f1 smau#f1 social media au
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really fucking sick and tired of people who really fucking love the eddie book jumping on people who don't like or are even remotely critical of it's posts and like crusading their opinions around from the top of their high horses and shoving it down our throats.
if you like the book, great! that's awesome! love that for you! i am genuinely glad that you were able to find good in it and enjoy it!!
but not everyone did, and not everyone is going to agree with you. so, instead of going on some grand crusade where you find every single post that includes anything even remotely negative or negative adjacent or even neutrally critical and spending ALL this time and effort trying to provide unwanted rebuttals to every single thing, maybe you should just stay in your lane and find people who DO like the book and chat about it with them.
because i can PROMISE YOU, none of us appreciate it when you come onto our posts and start accusing us of "hating on" the author or "being rude" about her and her work and RIDICULOUS shit like that.
being critical of something and pointing out it's flaws is NOT inherently hating on it. i, frankly, do not know where people got that notion, but it's not fucking true so can we fucking quit assuming it is? and, critiquing something is also NOT the same as saying this is shit and it sucks and the author is a piece of garbage. again, where the fuck that came from is beyond me. you can be critical of something and still enjoy it. as soooo many of you love to point out, it's not perfect, why should it be perfect? so D U H. of course that means criticism can and should arise???
also. hot take (by which i mean ice fucking cold because it's NOT a fucking hot take), but going around toting FALSE facts as part of your "defense" does not make you or your argument look good. you, like the author, should maybe do a basic fact check first. 🙃
tldr, if you like the book, that's genuinely great, but stay in your fucking lane and stop seeking out posts from people who didn't like it to start shit in the notes.
#flight of icarus#stranger things#this has happened to me and to so many of my friends and im fucking SICK of it#i didn't even hate the book either!! i thought it was just okay#and yet i STILL get all these book lovers jumping down my throat about things i say about the book#things that - HONESTLY are not even like that scathing!!!!!#like god damn all im asking for is a little BASIC effort from the author and they all think thats me asking for her head on a platter#its NOT#i have no problem with the author#she's whatever to me honestly just a vessel through which the book was given to us#ALSO she is some nebulous blob way outside my orbit. AS IN any critiques i have of her and her work are NOT direct assaults on her???#like i dont fucking KNOW her#im not saying any of this to her face#she is a published writer she should KNOW the risks she is taking when she publishes her writing#not everyone is going to like it! there are going to be people who are critical of it! there are going to be people who hate it!#critiques and pointing out mistakes and wishing for things to have been different is not a fucking direct attack#those things are actually pretty fucking common responses to ANYTHING#and a lot of times theyre actually meant as useful helpful things geared towards improvement and not something to tear someone down with#some people on the internet need to go touch grass and learn how to CRITICALLY THINK again#the world is not as black and white as you think#n e ways. rant over. if you stuck around through all of that kudos to you. i am just. at the end of my rope with this bullshit.
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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cant believe that after driving the car, riding the train, booking a hotel room, having a nightmare, visiting the father in law, visiting a hospital, making a friend, and escaping an assassin, the incomprehensible Horrors™ are back at it again and harder to bear than ever 🐻
#fandom related#malevolent#i feel just like arthur that after having some Normal Time and time w friends and family the Horrors are even more horrifying than before#also How is this man driving. w zero eyes and one arm and one leg. i imagine John is like#slow down arthur! hit the gas arthur! while steering. and arthur is shifting the gear. except that john has no experience in driving#so it would be like someone during their first ever driving lesson. creeping along slowly. being way too slow or way too fast for a given#situation. cops would stop them bc arthur isn't even looking at the road. he is bumping into so many other cars or the curb.#parking like shit. does john even know what the road signs mean 😭 and oscar got into the car w him#maybe he was too busy reading that book to notice. or too enchanted by arthu#*Arthur#if arthur had a white cane he would constantly lose it while falling down holes or trip over it running from the horrors#i think it's been mentioned only 3 times that he can't see. to those cops on the lake to daniel and the butcher has mentioned it#honestly king shit running around blind and w only one arm and leg w the voice of an ancient god in his voice. also they are fucking driving#*in his head#why can't you edit tags on mobile!!? or do i have to update tumbler for that#anyway ever since starting malevolent ive been realizing i should be more grateful for my eyesight. my eyesight is already bad and i need to#wear glasses 24/7. also i have a diagnosis that has a kinda probability of making me blind once im old or smth#i mean eyesight decreases for everyone as they get older right. but yeah. and i v likely won't have the voice of an older god in my head to#help me see. so gotta be grateful now#i should go to bed it's almost midnight but i have to listen to the next episode i need to know what's going on and what will happen 😭#still hoping nothing further will happen to oscar and that he and arthur will stay friends. if you're reading this and you know this won't#be the case. nnnnggh :')
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happy birthday to me i celebrated by looking at my favourite sequence of images in the world and crying over it at half past midnight.
#im. 24 now.#appleyaps#gonna be honest with you guys idk where the fuck my life is heading atm.#but if this manga taught me anything its that i have to keep making choices in order to achieve my own happiness.#ive been making strides... im now exclusively using the men's toilets wherever i go.#and im working on getting a professional diagnosis so i can go on hrt... but the waiting lists are so long.#i took the transfer but now it turns out i still have to wait longer... even though i was promised help quickly.#i dont know how much longer i can take this though. being uncomfortable with myself. im sick of it. i just wanna live.#theres so many things id like to do. but my body and my voice are holding me back from it.#my mom and her boyfriend know now. but my mom doesnt understand and has never referred to me as a woman as much as she does now.#at least everyone at school uses he/him for me now. i was finally assertive about it in my new class#and everyone there calls me teddie. though i'd like people to use tom for me as well. my friends do.#i just need to be even more assertive from now on. im working on it. im doing my best. i wanna live.#at least i have lots to look forward too. thats whats keeping me going honestly. and my friends.#the hope that one day i get to look in the mirror and finally see myself. i want to believe that it can happen. i need it to happen.
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#i might be moving in with my girlfriend soon and i am scared lol#i just did not think this is something that would be happening this soon#i assumed itd be a few years because she just bought a house with some friends and i was oh okay im clearly not gonna be involved with that#which i was totally okay with and had absolutely no problems with#but apparently it was assumed I'd eventually move in and they always planned for four people to be in the house#and that was before I even met them and we realized that we actually get along pretty well#it's so weird but in a good way#i just feel like my life is clicking and falling into place#but it's still so scary and im nervous as fuck about it#im scared of not living at home because ive never not lived at home#im scared that living together might make us hate each other and end our relationship#im just scared of the change in general#but we will see what happens#plus we've kinda been testing out me being here for an extended amount of time and so far it's been going pretty well#ive had so many major life changes throughout the past two years and the adjusting to it has been a lot#and it's wild to think that a year ago i would have never even imagined that I'd be considering moving in with a person i met on bumble lol#life is weird and a lot but sometimes you meet people who make it worth it#personal
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puppets bunker and ddos attacks have never been so much fun
#me holding my alliance like a squeaky toy and only getting one commend for it#I held you together. I raised u. I saved u and this is the thanks I get#but no I fuck around and find out for funsies and it’s like. six commends#anyway I was telling my friend like. I don’t have to think—#okay both healers die in alliance C and I rez one#I look back at my own alliance and half of everyone is dead. co-healer included#and then a bunch of them die again on the same mech#we almost die to the flyers not being killed bc the other alliances are dying#we get to the alliance split and our tank has an issue come up so he has to afk#so I’m keeping this ninja alive on a prayer#then half of the alliance dies again bc they went the wrong way w the arrow chaser aoes#that happened twice. there was a 30 percent boss health percentage difference going on#the icing on the cake tho was after the phase change in the final boss—boom ddos attack#so many people disconnecting. so many dying#alliance B lost everyone but the dps#it was carnage and I’m sitting here like. trying to keep everyone alive#tho like. Im not mad or upset about it tbh#it’s the sort of healer chaos where you’re sitting there juggling a bunch of stuff#that scratches the peanut of my brain#it’s much better chaos compared to CT raid chaos#mostly bc shield healers are the most fun at those levels compared to regen. to me at the very least#I have more resources at 80 w whm compared to 50 when shit hits the fan#but also pressing more than two buttons is more fun#CT just becomes utterly unbearable when you have people causing problems on purpose#when it is not an agreed upon clown time#ppl always talk about how bosses in nier have too much health when im like#im glad for it bc i like seeing mechanics#I love myths of the realm but when the final boss of the first raid can be killed before the most interesting mechanic is kinda#it’s kinda dogshit#owen talks
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ngl it’s genuinely kinda crazy how much of my life i have lost to mental illness :3 lol
#purrs#not time wise necessarily but like… aspect wise. like talking to my friends and pursuing hobbies and doing things that give my life meaning#and the very nature of the mental illness reinforces the detachment and fills me with so so so much shame for having lost these things that#it deters me from fighting to get it back. i feel like my life has gotten so gaunt since covid hit and sometimes it occurs to me how many#terrible things ahve happened and how im still pushing forward and everything is fine except for when i Remember. im feeling it now mr krab#delete later#like i used to be someone who hung out with my friends at least once a week and texted back and wrote poetry and played piano and kept my#room clean and took great care to stay organized and connected. and now at my own hands i am spiralling through space. im fighting my way#out of the quicksand i really think i am trying to but im still very much in the quicksand 😻#side note idk if anyone else is having this problem but lately tumblr has been adding two hashtags to tags which keeps knocking off an#extra character to the end of my tags and it’s fucking annoying. i meant *krabs not krab lol
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why do ppl always assume i wanna RP 💀 do i look RP-able or
#its actually CRAZY how many times this has happened#we will be havinga normal ass conversation then suddenly theyre like *pokes ur sides* and im like 🧍🏽♀️#ngas straight up just dont ask for consent or permission and its wild lmao#anyways with all this said#I DO NOT RP 🗣️#i dont care if ive known you for 100 years or just 1 min#i. do not. rp.#so do not send me messages trying to 'fluster' me or get me to react a certain way. i will EMBARRASS you.#the next motherfucker that tries me is getting blocked and THEN imma tell all ur friends that u dont care about consent or boundaries 😇#TIGHTEN THE FUCK UP#and that's my rant for the day#vent post
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i just need to make it to shabbat i just need to make it to shabbat i just need
#😵💫😵💫😵💫#short response due tmrw ; seminar presentation potentially tmrw WHICH I ONLY JUST REMEMBERED ; short seminar quiz to do before friday ;#latin club “homework” which im probably gonna tell my friend i cant continue w bc my weekly workload is already too overwhelming w 3 courses#+ i have to have by thrice yearly lunch w my evangelical godmother which means 3 hour convo half dedicated to getting me to abandon judaism#and half to getting me to repent my sinful homosexual ways and go back to being a nice straight girl#all of which is going to happen in public and she WILL tear up at multiple points of the conversation and it WILL be supremely awkward#when people inevitably start eavesdropping bc let's be real if i were at a cafe overhearing this convo i would be listening in too#and everyone's like 'ugh why dont you just tell her to fuck off' but im the only trans person and the only observant jew she has ever met#two groups against which she already has so many preconceived notions so like. idk it feels like my responsibility#as someone who knows her and who she acc cares about (vs a stranger) to try and give her a different perspective on these things ???#like if me being patient and calmly explaining why i transitioned/why i converted can stop her even slightly from sliding even further right#(and like she's Right Wing like covid denial right wing)#and if it might mean the next trans person or whtvr that she interacts with has it slightly easier then like. sure j can sit through#a couple irritating hours every few months#but its just suuuch a shit time for it like im meeting her thursday after class when i have a massive fucking assignment to hand in on sat#which FUCK gotta add that to the list#☞ annotated bibliography due saturday aka friday bc shabbos#okay okay. im done losing my mind in the notes 😵💫👍🏻#p.s.
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#ok i said i was goin to bed but lmao a few things. or maybe just 1#me this year compared to last year? what an astronomical difference#i think i really.... came into my own. like thats the saying right#i think im at the best ive ever been. and like..... honestly i never thought id be able to make friends again but lmao i made so many at#school and like it took awhile#and like i also Know im Different n Confident bc not only am i into someone irl.... i legit like..... purposefully got to know him#like usually i stay the fuck away. but like idk a switch happened. and im like ok but why NOT me???? like im cute.... im fun... all that#like !!!!! idk !!!! why not?????#so ya........... JDJDJDJDJJD maybe this doesnt seem like much but to me its a Huge Deal JDJDJJDMDMDMDMS#n i hope the trend continues this way !!!!#like heck i even talk so casually to the profs. like lmao who am i JDJDJDJDJDJD#i am worried tho.... that when i transition back to working in jan (lmao lets be real... probs wont get a job til after then).... that i'll#go back to being Closed Off#its just really hard for me to open up.... but idk i think this year has taught me that like..... it's worth it....#and ya.... hoping i can continue this !!!!!#personal
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anyways i am feeling kinda brave today so im gonna share a potentially unpopular taylor swift hot take. when i was talking to my friend yesterday about ttpd i realised that i kinda have a similar problem with the anthology as i do with evermore.
like don't get me wrong, both have absolute gems (willow, tolerate it, long story short, gold rush and NBNC from evermore are great and i love the albatross, so high school, the prophecy black dog, manuscript etc) but i think both collections (bc anthology is not an album) suffer because they came out connected to a much superior more cohesive work, and both almost feel like rejects from the body of work that proceeded it.
#actually like i said to my beloved mutual “thanK you aIMee” kinda feels like she woke up one day and went “fuck you kim actually”#which i can kinda relate to in a way bc the amount of times i randomly go “fuck you”#but my mutual said if there were more songs about being screwed over by people that could be a storyline. but theres not. its just there#like its a great song but also i kinda went “we are covering this ground again”#if there were new developments in the relationship i could kinda understand it#like how she wrote innocent and then backtracked that with rep bc things happened#but idk the anthology just feels like scraps she deemed good enough for release but in my opinion needed editing#the stupid ass 1830s lyric highlights this bc i get what shes trying to say but she worded it so badly#that i kinda see why its being clowned on#also imgonnagetyouback... yehahahahah liv did it better. now it feels like a done concept. im shocked she included it#she knew it was coming come on#anyways the anthology while good kinda felt unfinished#she should have given it a few more months and polished it#bc holy hell at least folkmore felt polished#even though evermore is cohesively weaker#my friend who is a folkmore swiftie kinda also feels like this fyi so dont come at me screaming “burn 1989 rep midnights stan!”#burn me idc#and while im at it both are in my bottom three only right above debut#tldr: both collections are tied to another work thats just so much better and cohesive#this is just me saying i cant get into anthology hahaha#and i felt weird bc everyone liked it but when my friend a literal folklore girl said “no im not feeling it” i felt better#bc so many people were saying it was better and those swifties were going 'all of us' and i kinda went... no i prefer standard#i love taylor sm and i love og ttpd its currently no 5 but the anthology has issues and one of them is similar to why i rank evermore lowl#i just went off on a tangent about the issues with the anthology and its songwriting and lack of narrative#i will say so i win you all over i loved the evermore set at eras i thought it was so beautifully done#taylor swift#ttpd: anthology#evermore
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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the internet is wild because fifteen years ago i joined a forum and didn't read the rules bc i thought i was too cool for that and one of the moderators eventually noticed it and told me off and gave me a temporary ban. we ended up becoming very good friend. over a decade later she called me saying she liked my work and asking if i wanted to document a civil disobedience action. i said yes. then she kept calling m and got the chance to shoot alongside actual photojournalist veterans with absolute insane cameras as their work equipment while i stood there with my 500€ camera i got on sale. anyway, all of this to say that the only reason why i have my photos with my name published in a newspaper is because fifteen years ago i didn't read the rules of a forum.
#happy fucking saturday im getting published again AMEN#one time i also met someone online we roleplayed for a couple months and then they dropped everthing#and a couple months later they msged me saying they remembered i was interested in studying data science#and sent me shit from their course work#one of my friends figured out there was bullshit happening at work bc i knew the language and was able to translater shit for her#the only reason why i passed a class at university is bc an internet friends helped me study and understand shit#i have so many stories like this it's unreal how much roleplaying has impacted my life ooc
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someone needs to bail me out of class for the next too days and lock me in solitary so i can finally have some alone time and properly cry
#mmmmmmm my roommate has many habits that drive me insane#and im too scared to tell her off despite knowing holding it in will absolutely make me feel worse and worse#also i spilt ramen sauce all over my shit and on a white shirt i love so#one more thing to add to the cry abt list#also weird rant now#my moms given me such a bad fucking relationship with money food and gifts#and suddenly shes been so nice to me now that if feels suspicious#which is a really bad fucking thing to feel about your own mom#she got me cupcakes???? theyre being sent/for pickup via my college dining program which i didnt even know you could do#but idk why she did it in the first place nor why she didnt do it for my birthday if she did it at all?#anyways times like this makes me wish i was way more emotionally avaliable and less emotionally constipated#but i vent enough abt shit already that i feel like im whining and complaining more than anything so#a genuine hug from one of my friends or smth that doesnt immediantly give me the ick#bc i genuinely hate that it can happen to me for literally any of my friends#anyways a genuine hug would make me break down crying immediantly#this has been my rant of the day and my horror upon realizing i think one of my irl college friends actually follow me#hi if youre reading this#no you didnt
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i'm seriously tired of this like,,, constant feeling of never really feeling important to anyone. and it's like, it's 100% on me, it is 100% my fault i feel this way but,,, eugh
#blaire.txt#it isnt anyone's fault at all im just like super unwell LOL#its like. i mourn the friendships where i genuinely felt wanted. because it was ME who fucked them up and now i just feel legitimately like#no matter how many people i befriend and burn through it's like i can never ever feel truly wanted or like im at all important to them#and when i DO#when i do feel wanted and important its always so short-lived and they move on to someone else#and im just like really tired of wanting to be loved and never actually feeling loved#every friendship i was a part of where i felt like i was genuinely important or wanted has completely eroded and its like. all my fault and#im just. really fucking tired of never feeling loved like ever#and its not anyones fault its not like people are mistreating me#I AM THE PROBLEM. I am the reason i feel unloved#because theres something wrong with me and i can never ever feel like im loved even if people say they love me!!! it always feels so hollow#and every time i see my friends get along better with other people i always feel so fucking jealous and its like its such a me problem#but its so hard to get out of this mindset because its one i've been trapped in for YEARS#i've dug this hole and now i lay in it because there is no way out and im so. tired. i just want to be loved#i want to be important to someone i want to be someone's special person their number one and its like#that'll never happen to me!!!! because I AM THE REASON no one views me that way!!!! Im unstable messy reactionary lazy and mean#and so fucking anxious about every little thing that like of FUCKING course no one would love me!!!! loving me is HARD because#i am not MEANT to be loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am meant to be hated or seen as disposable!!!!#ugh im just so fucking sick of feeling disposable.#vent#ask to tag
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