#maybe i need to stop thinking authors owe it to me to write a good book | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

strawhbrrries · 2 years ago

Text

Cowboy hats.

pairing: dbf!southern!frank castle x afab!reader

summary: five days and five nights without a single word from frank, what an asshole. an asshole who looks too damn good in a cowoy hat.

warnings: age gap (reader is 22, frank is 52), use of pet names, dirty dirty thoughts!!!,unprotected p in v sex!!, praise kink asf, soft frank, frank being an asshole for the first like two thousand words, cowboy hate frank, no mentions of y/n, no descriptions of reader, not proofread

word count: 4015 words

author’s note: end of the road for darlin’ and frankie (probably not, i absolutely will write more, smaller, things for them, but this is the end of the cowgirl series!! I loved writing for them and hope i did them justice!! I hope you guys it enjoy it, mwah

read the first one here, and the second here !

It had been five days, five entire days and nights without speaking to Frank. Not that you didn’t try, you had been texting him. Multiple times. Just to get “read at 2:30” every time. Every. Damn. Time. He brushed you off if you spoke to him in person, ignored your texts, you would soon resort to carrier pigeon. What the fuck happened to Frankie who was calling you his girl? The fucking 180 he pulled was pissing you off. The rational side of you tried to convince yourself he wasn’t your boyfriend, he had made no promises to you, he was free to ignore you all he wanted. No matter how angry it made you. The irrational side didn’t care, he had been inside of you raw, he owes you some explanation. What a fucking little fuckboy move to fucking make.

Ironically, Boyfriend by COIN played through your car. Not now.

“I don’t wanna be your boyfriend,

When you need a little company,

I don’t wanna be your boyfriend,

When there’s not another phone to ring.”

You searched through the passenger seat for your phone once your car was safely stopped at the red light, this was absolutely NOT the song to play. Of all the songs on your playlist, of course it had to be this one. The universe wasn’t done playing cruel jokes on you, it was almost like it wanted to see you suffer just a tiny bit more. A black truck pulled up next to you, in the left turn lane. Frank’s black truck. That Frank was driving. It would take a miracle to save you from driving your car off a cliff, today was testing you and you were losing. He shot you a smile from his driver’s seat, giving you a two finger wave without lifting his hand off the steering wheel.

A smile. The nerve of this guy. The fucking nerve.

The light turned green before you were able to yell all the expletives you knew in all the languages you knew them in. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. You were meeting Tiff at a bookstore for a girls day, she was going to get an earful of what happened five days ago and the fucking nerve he has to act this way.

“I mean, he is fifty. Right? Maybe he’s just not used to dating culture. He had a wife previously, I think, so just talk to him.” Tiff reasoned, tracing her finger up the spine of a book before pulling it off the shelf to read the description on the back.

“Even if dating culture is different, he gave me his number. Said we’d talk later and has given me the coldest shoulder possible. Then has the nerve to smile at me like none of this has happened.” You whined, frustrated that this was even happening. Initially, you had planned to just be pretty and reap the perks of it this summer. Not get hung up on an older man that’s best friends with your dad.

“Does he even know you’re angry? I mean he’s not a mind reader and neither are you, ambush his house when you know he’s there. I don’t think he’d shy away from being alone with you.” She teased, poking your side and placing the book back in its rightful spot on the shelf. “Then, you can set boundaries and what not. Fuck. And make up!”

“I would sooner punch him in that smug attractive stupid fucking face.” You rolled your eyes, knowing deep inside the next time he was in your presence and willing to take you to bed that you would be there. You didn’t know how to say no to him.

“We both know that is the furthest thing from the truth.” Tiff raised her eyebrow at you and cocking her head, daring you to argue about it.

“Shut up, I’m trying to learn to have some self control.” You tried to hide a smile, failing miserably and rolling your eyes instead. “I’ll ambush him later, he better be there or be prepared to feel my wrath.”

“That’s my girl!” She laughed, clapping her hands the best she could with the books in her hands. “Make sure he really understands the anger. The rage!”

To keep true to your word, you drove by his house on the way to yours to see if he was home. He wasn’t. Fucker. You knew it wasn’t intentional but it sure felt that way, because of all days and of all times he wouldn’t be there. However, to your surprise, he was parked in your driveway. You parked in your usual spot and headed inside, stopping right inside the house when you heard the two men inside.

“How was your date the other night?” He went on a date, what the fuck?

“Horrible. She was still hung up on her ex-husband, talked about him all night.” Good, hope every woman you go on a date with does that. Asshole.

“Sorry man, you’ll find someone someday.” Your dad tried consoling him, your anger was bubbling and the next word of this conversation was going to be your breaking point. Did the sex truly mean nothing to him? Did you mean nothing to him? Were you just a quick fuck to get the desire out and then move on?

You closed the front door loudly to announce your presence, walking into the kitchen where said men were sitting at the kitchen table. Frank had his legs spread, hand hanging between them with a beer in his hand. The kicker was, he was wearing a cowboy hat, his hair fluffing out on the side. To add onto the never ending list of things making this, currently insufferable, man so attractive he was wearing some sort of red henley with the top buttons undone so you could see the gold chains decorating his neck.

“Hey daddy!” You smiled at your dad, handing him a book he had mentioned twenty times he wanted to read. Your words caused Frank to clear his throat and sit straighter in the seat, you could play his game much worse than he can.

“What’s the occasion, honey?” He always had weird ways of saying thank you, as in he never really did and would instead pay you back by making your favorite food for dinner tomorrow or ordering a dress you really wanted. You figured it was just how he grew up.

“You deserve it, daddy! You do so much for me and treat me so well! I’m gonna take a shower.” And with that you were off up the stairs, flipping Frank off once you got to a point in the stairs where the wall covered you.

You locked your bedroom door. He didn’t need to come in here and desecrate your room anymore than he already had. If he didn’t have such a big dick and fantastic hands you would’ve murdered him already, why bless bad men with great appendages.

Your mind raked itself for answers, you truly couldn’t come up with one that didn’t end with you not being good enough for him. The date was the trulying baffling part to you, the cold shoulder you could deal with just fine but the date was just cruel. If he didn’t want you he shouldn’t have left his number, shouldn’t have fucked you within an inch of you life, shouldn’t have called you his. He shouldn’t have even read the messages, deleted them and blocked your number. He read them and actively chose to not respond, you didn’t know if it was any worse than just blocking you. If the universe was cruel, Frank castle was worse.

Your door knob jiggled, quite a few times before you heard the sound of boots going downstairs. You knew he would come up here and try to act like it was all peachy keen, like he hadn’t been twisting the knife he placed in your back. Your phone dinged.

I know you heard, at least let me explain.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the absolute nerve he has had today.

No.

Darlin’, please.

Fuck off, Frank.

Fucking COIN was right, he didn’t want to be your boyfriend. How fucking foolish could you have been. How could you imagine he’d settle down for a twenty-two year old girl who was related to his best friend. You flopped down on your bed and let out a very long, very needed, scream. The tears started coming, you hadn’t been this emotional in a very long time, the tears you had initially shed over Frank turned into tears over everything you’d bottled up. Your tears comforted you into dreamland. You awoke to four texts from Frank.

It’s not how it seems. Sent 9:30pm

Darlin’ I swear, I had to do it. Sent 10:05pm

Two nights with you has me ready to fill every ocean with blood, sweat, and tears for you so don’t act like that. Sent 5am

Your dad set up the date, I couldn’t not go. Was I supposed to tell him I’d rather be fucking his daughter? Sent 5:30am

It didn’t matter to you that your dad set the whole thing up, you responded with a simple yes and placed your phone back on the nightstand you picked it up from. Men are so stupid, you could think of two ways he could’ve gotten out of the date without you being involved. Still doesn’t explain the five day freeze out, if he had been honest about the date it wouldn’t have mattered . As much. He better come up with the best damn excuse for this shit or you swore you’d never speak to him again.

Frank’s phone dinged in his pocket, he’d been waiting all morning for you to respond. He knew you would, just as you were his vice. He was yours. The second you walked in the kitchen last night it was taking all his self control to not pull you onto his lap, continue his conversation with your dad, trailing his fingers up and down your leg. He knew you were angry with him, you had every right to be, but he didn’t know how to even begin explaining the situation. Your dad was being suspicious, he thought it was odd that Frank spent an extended amount of time in your room the other night, thought it was weird that everytime your name was mentioned Frank’s nostrils flared and his jaw tightened. It was your dad who suggested setting up the date, watched Frank’s face as he brought it up to see if he’d give away anything. Frank was saving you both, he was doing this for you. In some twisted way.

The date happened the night after he slept with you, he felt guilty to have gone behind your back. He didn’t want to see you look so excited to see him when he felt tainted. He didn’t do anything with the woman, opened her car door and moved back her seat but he never once laid a finger on her. Her smile wasn’t as sweet as yours, her laugh not as gentle and filling, and she wasn’t nearly as beautiful. Frank spent most of the date thinking of you and how he wished it was you in front of him, not this woman who couldn’t be bothered to speak of anything besides her ex-husband. He thought she’d get the hint that he was bored, he stopped responding to her questions and was now scanning the restaurant making up stories about the other patrons to pass the time.

He just wanted to be with His cowgirl.

Seeing you in your car yesterday made the guilt twist in his heart, he needed to speak to you. But you didn’t want to speak to him, especially not after what you heard in the house. That’s why when his phone dinged and he had the feeling it was you, his face lifted and he was filled with a warmth only you could give to him. The one word you replied with had made the past five days almost bearable.

You know I can’t do that. Can I see you after work? Please, darlin’

He placed his phone back into his back pocket, taking a deep breath as he awaited your response. God, he hoped you responded. It didn’t matter if you didn’t say a word to him the whole time he explained it, he needed to see you and he needed you to understand why he did what he did. He meant what he said, he’d fill every ocean on the fucking planet with blood, sweat and tears if it meant your happiness. He’d go back to the life he left to ensure your safety.

Fine.

If the rest of the day was the worst day possible he could deal with that, he could deal with anything as long as it meant getting to see you when he got off. He truly didn’t know how you would react or what it meant for the two of you going forward. He could only hope for the best. Whatever that even was.

You spent the rest of the day thinking about what he could possibly explain to you, it was clear that he wasn’t as interested as you thought before. Would you even believe it, whatever his excuse was? Or would you immediately forgive him because it meant he would be back in your life, would you forget it even happened and go back to playing girlfriend. You wanted to forget, to act like it never hurt, but you wanted him to understand how it felt. To be treated like the top of the world and then dumped like you meant nothing.

You wore red.

That was the first thing Frank noticed as you walked up his driveway clad in a flowy red sundress, you remembered his favorite color and the conversation about wearing it the next time you saw him. Forgiveness was in there somewhere, he knew it. You noticed he was wearing that damn cowboy hat again, damn he was playing a hard game.

“Thanks for coming darlin’, I was kinda worried you wouldn’t.” He didn’t stand up from his chair on the porch to greet you, in some way you were kinda glad but you mostly figured it’s because you’re on his porch and everyone can see.

“Yeah, I just hope you’ve got something real good up your sleeve.” You responded bluntly, sitting in the chair next to him and smoothing your dress out. “You’re an asshole, Frankie.’

“I know, I fuckin’ know baby. Just listen, okay? I’ll explain and then you can fuckin’ obliterate me but I need you to listen.” He sat up straighter, reaching to take one of your hands in his, rubbing his thumb across the top.

“We don’t have all night, I suggest you start talking.” He could’ve swore he saw a hint of a smile playing on your lips as you spoke.

“Your dad, I know I can’t blame it all on him. He came to me, after I left your room, and he hinted he was a bit suspicious of us. What he said doesn’t matter, just know he was suspicious. He said he had a date planned for me, thought it would be nice for me to meet a woman ‘my own age’ and gave me the information. Darlin’, if I said no he would’ve caught on the next time I spent more than a minute with you, I did this for us. For you, baby. I didn’t touch her, barely spoke the whole time. She spent more time talking about her ex-husband, I’m not sure she even knew my name,” you giggled at that, she didn’t deserve to know him,”Took her home, didn’t give her my number. Nothin’. I came here and thought of you, all night. Thought about how I was supposed to tell you. I felt gross, and I’ve done bad things darlin’. Bad things.”

“I don’t care what bad things you’ve done, because that’s not you. Not now.” You whispered, taking your free hand and caressing his cheek. He leaned into your touch, so soft and warm.

“That’s the thing, I’d do it again. I’d do all those bad things again, for you.” He admitted, watching you process his words. It should’ve scared you, should’ve made you run off his porch and block his number. It excited you, made your core throbbed at the thought of someone loving you enough to do those ‘bad things’ he spoke of. You were smart enough to make your own conclusions about what he meant.

“But why did you ignore me? That really hurt, Frankie. It really fucking sucked.”

“I told you. I felt gross, undeserving of you. I went on a date with someone who wasn’t you and it was eating at me, even if my reasons were just.” He truly looked apologetic, you came here looking to stick it to him but you melted the second he started talking. He did it for you and you were sat thinking he just didn’t like you and wanted a quick fuck.

“Frankie..” You whispered, looking at him like he’d hung the moon and all the stars. Scanning the other houses to predict who could’ve seen you here.

“Don’t do that. Don’t look at me like that, darlin’.” He groaned, tipping his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. You were a goddamn dream.

“I’d like a tour of your bed.” You giggled, the way you figured was he at least owed you some sort of makeup sex. You were melting the second he said he’d do bad things for you, he had to fix the problem he started.

“Mmm I can arrange that, c’mon cowgirl.” He tightened the grasp on the hand he was holding and led you inside, it smelled just like he did. Slight scent of gunpowder, tobacco from the cigars he smoked with your father, some sort of leather and coffee. You could drown yourself in the scent.

“Your place is so…you.” You observed. There were more cowboy hats hung up by the door, more boots on the floor, a whiskey cabinet in the living room which led you to assume everything else was held in his kitchen, the lighting was dim.

“Might shock ya to hear that I live here.” He teased, leading you through the kitchen and down a hallway to his bedroom. His room was sparsely decorated, he was only a man what could he say.

“I would’ve never guessed.” You smiled, letting go of his hand to flop down on his bed. It wasn’t nearly as comfortable as yours, didn’t have nearly as many blankets and pillows.

Frank slid his hands down your thighs as they hung off the bed, admiring the sight of you in his bed. He didn’t deserve you or what you were about to give him. But Frank Castle was a greedy man, he’d take everything you were willing to give. Especially when it came to you. He slowly massaged your thighs, moving both hands to one of your legs and massaging all the way down. You propped yourself on your elbows, watching him curiously as he massaged you.

“What’re you doing, Frankie?” You asked softly, genuine curiosity present in your voice. His lips lifted at the nickname, as they did every time you called him that since the first time.

“Jus’ lovin’ on my lady, do you have a problem with that?” He tilted his head down and raised an eyebrow, the cowboy hat slipping a bit as he did so.

“Nope, no problems. Just thought you were gonna take me to bed, ‘s all.”

“You know how to pick my brain, findin’ all the right things to say and when to say ‘em. My pretty girl, made just for me. Ain’t that right?” He let go of your leg, hiking your dress up so he didn’t sit on it when he straddled your waist. “Knew this was gonna happen, huh? Did ya find the laciest red panties you could find? You got words, I know you do.”

“For you, told you I’d do it.” You pulled the top of the dress down to realize the matching lacy red bra, all for your Frankie. He let out a low groan, you were too good to a man who didn’t deserve you. Too tainted to touch the pureness of your soul.

Frank helped you out of your dress, throwing it into the corner of his room, he stared at you a long time. The matching red set was something out of his dreams, he wanted to sear the image of you wearing it in his bed in his head forever. He ran his hands over your stomach, your thighs, anywhere his hands could reach. It’s crazy how fast a person can come to mean so much to you, especially when they’d been around for years. One night changed everything for the both of you, changed the meaning of love for Frank. He’d figure out how to get your dad on board late, for tonight you were his sweet thing to make sweet love to.

The cowboy hat was left on at your request, he didn’t mind as long as you kept letting the giggles out when it bumped your forehead as he thrusted up into you. Your red bra was left on at his request, a reminder that this was all for him. That it was all real and not some cruel dream. Your moans and whimpers a sweet symphony to his ears, he’d pay over and over and over to hear. Your nails gripping his back, when he checked in the mirror later that evening it’d be adorned with light pink scratches and half moons scattered across it, holding onto him like he was going to disappear again. His thrusts were slow but deep, hitting all the right spots inside you, his hands holding your head to look at him as he showed you everything he couldn’t say with words.

His words were equally dirty and sweet, just like him.

“Pretty baby, you feel how you’re squeezin’ me?”

“God, gonna lock you away. Keep you all to myself, use you when I want. Make you my pretty housewife.”

“”S alright baby, Frankie’s got you. Gonna take good care of this pussy, make ‘er feel good.”

The two of you came together, he talked you softly through the whole thing. Peppered kisses across your face and down your neck, praising you for how good you did even though he did all the work. He traced his initials, FC, above your heart with his fingers before placing a kiss right where he traced. Marking you, invisibly, as his forever and ever.

“Don’t ever go on another date with another woman.” You teased softly, looking up at him when you came to.

“I’m not doin’ nothin’ with another woman that’s not you. Promise, darlin’.” He placed a soft kiss to your lips, nipping at your bottom lip and pulling away to look at your face. He wiped away the sweaty hairs that had stuck themselves to your face.

“Good, my Frankie.”

“Your Frankie.” He’d softened in his older years, in his years with you he’d soften even more than previously thought. Frankie, as he came to be known to everyone you introduced him to, never could say no to you. That included the day you decided you wanted to tell your dad about him, you were tired of sneaking around. Even if it was fun. You’d been in an actual established relationship for a while at that point, he was going to find out eventually. In true Frankie fashion he sighed, shot back the rest of his whiskey and said Okay, darlin’. The mental battle he fought, briefly, about you lost the second you assured him you’d traverse it together. Loving you was the best thing Frank Castle would ever come to do in all his life.

#frank castle #jon bernthal #dbf frank castle #frank castle smut #frank castle x reader #frank castle x you #maddies fics #dads best friend frank castle #dads best friend #the punisher #jon bernthal smut #fic: cowgirl <3

2K notes · View notes

i-literally-cant-with-this · 1 year ago

Text

Catch Me If You Can

I'm flagging this with a Violence thingy//dark content warning too, just to be on the safe side.

A/N ::: This was inevitable. It started out serious then just got kinda stupid/funny. Maybe not ha-ha funny, but roll your eyes funny? I can just see Tenya doing this if he's had a particularly trying and horny day. Like, obvi he wouldn't be a total piece of shit and push the envelope like this. But in my head, tonight, he mf'ing DOES. Idk. Hope it makes someone roll their eyes in a good way. Thanks for reading! I think this is my first time writing for Tenya.

C/W ::: F!reader, spanking, dark content potential, abuse of/drunk with power, ass licking, ass kissing (literally), dom Tenya, dubcon, punishing for rule breaking, panties in F!mouth, unprotected sex P->V // F->M {dubcon again} oral, rule breaking, egging Tenya on. If I missed anything icky that needs to be specified, shoot me a message! aged up char.

WC ::: Just over 1K

"I told you not to run *spank* in the *spank* hallways. As class 1-A rep, it's my job to uphold the rules and regulations of UA. Not running is a sacred rule, y/n!"

"Mmmuuhhh!" You whined. "But, but since when was spanking the authorized *spanked* OW! Damn it! Since when is corporal punishment allowed? T-Tenya, I think you're taking this too far."

Your words fell on deaf ears. Your body was laid over his muscular thighs, ass up. You grabbed his right arm with yours and pulled yourself up and around to catch a glimpse of his eyes. Not only were his glasses off, but his eyes were heavy. Half-lidded. Focused hard on the red blotches on your fat ass.

Tenya had a sick, twisted smile on his usually straight lips. “H-h-hey … are you d-done yet? Can I please go home?” You said in a voice much quieter than you intended.” He still didn’t answer but his eyes shot down to yours and he didn’t look like the same respectful guy who kept everything else in order.

“No! I’ve only begun doling out my punishment. You’ve been bad and it’s time to face the consequences for your irresponsible actions,y/n! Now, stand up. Please!”

You stood and rubbed your ass cheeks with the palms of your hands. Wincing, you asked, “What the hell else could you possibly do to me? I don’t think running calls for such severe discipline. Even for you, this is crossing a line. I’m going home.”

“I SAID … *aheh*, I said, stay. If you leave now, I’m afraid I’ll have no choice but to write you up.”

You scrunched up your face, “So, if I stay, you’ll make this little problem disappear? Am I understanding this correctly?”

Tenya stopped and thought about it for a moment. “And you have to keep this between the two of us. Do you understand? Fully … understand?” He asked.

You nodded, “Y-yes. I think so.”

He stood and crossed his arms across his chest. “Good. Do what I say and this will all..." He waved his hands in the air like he was showing you a magic trick. "... disappear, as promised.”

Tenya walked over to where you were standing and fell to his knees. He put his hands on your waist and turned you around so quickly your skirt flared out from the abrupt circular motion.

“Oh! Ten-ya ... What …” You looked over your shoulder, down at him and saw he was leaning face first into the hot skin of your behind. “Tenya …”

“Shh shh, mm-mm." That's all he said before he ran the tip of his tongue between your bubbly, pinkened cheeks. He pulled back and began to lick and bite at the soft flesh of your ass. He used his teeth to sink into the tender flesh and held on as he ran his tongue over the bite mark.

You moaned as he licked and teased. The bites hurt, but they were also strangely pleasurable. You could feel yourself getting wet as he sucked and licked at the skin on your ass.

Tenya grabbed your ass cheeks in his hands and spread them apart, revealing your tight hole. He stuck out his tongue and began to lick and prod at your puckered hole. You cried out as he teased the sensitive skin.

His tongue slipped inside and he began to fuck you with it.

"Tell me - mmm ... mm-hm ... - tell me how sorry you are for running in my halls, y/n." He said. His words vibrated against your ass, sending a chill through your spine.

You moaned and pushed back on his face as his tongue darted in and out of you. "I-I'm so sorry, Tenya! Please, I can't take it anymore!" You cried.

He pulled away from you and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He stood and grabbed your hair in his hand, pulling your head back so you were looking up at him.

"No, you're not sorry. Not enough. Not yet." he said, his voice low and sultry.

He shoved your face against the wall of the empty hallway, pushing it hard against the cold tile. You whimpered as he pulled up your skirt and grabbed your panties.

"W-wait! Tenya, I'll be good. I- fuck! I - I promise I won't run in the halls again. Just, please don't do this," you begged. "Not like this ... pl- oh god!"

But Tenya didn't stop. He ripped your panties off and stuffed them in your mouth, muffling your cries. He grabbed his throbbing cock and slid it between your ass cheeks.

"Fuck, y/n. I can't stop. You know how I feel about rules. I take them seriously."

He shoved his cock inside your wet cunt, pushing in with one thrust. You screamed against your panties as he stretched you open.

"Mmhmm!" You cried.

Tenya leaned forward and pressed his body against yours, his hips grinding against your ass as he fucked you. He reached around you and tugged your shirt open, pulling out your breasts. He pinched and twisted your nipples as he fucked you hard and fast.

Your body was shaking and you could feel yourself getting close. He pulled your panties out of your mouth and wrapped them around your neck, using them to pull you back against him.

"Come for me, y/n. Come all over my fat, unruly cock!" He moaned.

He thrust in one last time and you came, your juices running down your thighs and onto the floor. Tenya pulled out and grabbed your hair, turning you around and pushing your down on your knees so your face was lined up with his hard cock.

"Open your mouth," he commanded.

You did as you were told, opening your mouth as far as you could. He shoved it in, thrusting hard and deep. He moaned as he came, shooting his hot cum down your throat.

He pulled out and lifted you up once again, licking and sucking at your breasts. He nibbled at your nipples and you moaned against his touch.

He straighened up and tucked himself back into his pants, fixing his tie. "Now, we're even. Don't forget to report to me should you break the rules again, y/n. I might not be so forgiving next time."

"That ..." you huffed. "That was forgiving?"

He walked away, leaving you a disheveled mess. You pulled yourself together and smoothed down your skirt. You were going to have to be careful around Tenya from now on. Though, it was tempting to have such a willing and thorough disciplinarian.

You looked around making sure no one saw that and started to run the opposite direction he was headed in.

Within seconds, you heard him yelling your name. You stopped as you turned the corner just long enough to see the slight smirk stirring on his lips.

“Catch me if you can. Fucker.”

T@glist ::: @calm3senpaii @millennialmagicalgirl @darkstarlight82

236 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 1 year ago

Note

I found myself rereading an old discussion about AO3 commenting culture (ye olde "Authors aren't owed comments" vs. "Readers aren't owed fic either" wank). And you know, it strikes me that a lot of the drama in such discussions is rooted in the fact that people only ever seem to engage with the worst things the opposite side says. And of course that leads to miscommunication, because the extremes are not generally applicable to most people.

Like, for instance. Someone going "I comment so regularly I practically gave myself burn-out commenting". Authors complaining about people who act entitled to stories aren't talking about you, I promise. They're talking about people who genuinely can't be bothered or go on flippant "Why don't you just write for yourself?" rants, while still enjoying other people's work. Ditto on the other side: people get offended at being called entitled authors, but odds are good the person isn't referring to you, who would simply like to not shout into the void, odds are good they're referring to the asshole authors they've met who'd throw hissy hits over comments that weren't phrased exactly to their liking, because yes, people like that do exist so it's simply flat out wrong to say "Just comment, authors are always happy to see comments, no matter how short! :)"

Also, a particular comment jumped out at me:

"It's not a consumer's job to compliment a promote an artist's work"

I generally agree that acting like people are owed comments is useless and stupid, but if I had to pick a phrasing that sums up my misgivings about common commenting culture, it's this. So many people seem to act like authors are getting a paycheck for this and don't need any additional motivator.

The other thing that bugs me is when people talk about all the reasons they don't comment (low spoons, anxiety, tired, etc.), but ignore the fact that authors have to deal with all of the above, too. And not just in fanfic. It seems any time there's any kind of social conflict being discussed (like, say, replying to a friend's messages in a vaguely timely manner) a ton of people will trot out excuses for why they can't do [insert what's generally seen as the vaguely courteous thing to do], but inadvertently act like that makes them special and like they're the only ones who have these legitimately valid excuses.

This started in one place and led to another, sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated with the Tumblr mental health culture of "I have a semi-specific reason I struggle with this so I'm not even going to try". I think people overcompensate too much for "Just don't be disabled!"-style ableism and swing too hard in the embraced helplessness direction.

Back to fanfic, every time I see the "I can't do it because of X" thing in the context of commenting, I can't help but think of how many authors also deal with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, low spoons, etc. and how easy it would have been for them to give up, but they got through it and posted the fanfic anyway, and how often they're then met with silence because the prevailing attitude among their audience is e.g. "I read this before bed and was too sleepy to comment, and too forgetful to comment the next day". I think about some of the fic I've written, often fic written when I maybe should have been doing something else, or fic written at the cost of sleep, or hyperfixating at my keyboard for six hours instead of going for a nice hike with my family, and it's hard not to get a little bitter, you know? Talking about legitimate reasons for why commenting is hard just so often comes across as "You're free to make sacrifices to write the stuff I read, but I won't make any"

I also feel a bit bitter that it's impossible to even discuss these things in a vacuum without someone going "Discussions like this are why I've stopped commenting", as someone inevitably will in the notes of this post. "Just shut up and make your Content(TM) and don't complain about anything", is what it feels like.

The entire phrasing of reward and owing is stupid.

The reality is that lots of people won't produce work unless they feel like someone cares. No amount of moralizing or excuses will change that.

It's also the reality that posting to the masses on AO3 or tumblr will result in maybe one like or other interaction per hundred hits if you're really, really lucky. The rate has never been much better than that, and it never will be. It's often very much worse.

If one personally wants to encourage people, sure, go out and do that, but any call to action that ignores the above two realities is like fighting the tide.

I do think "It's not my job to promote you" typically comes up in the context of meltdowns about letting artists "languish in your likes" instead of being reblogged onto your actual blog and/or contexts where the artist/author/etc. is selling their work.

Here's the thing: people who never comment do not count.

They think they're part of a community. They're not. If you don't participate, you're a ghost.

When some author moves to a more enclosed space, a lot of people who saw themselves as part of something are suddenly left out in the cold, wondering why. But the fact is, if you don't pay the entry fee of socializing with others, you're nobody to them.

The entitled randos don't matter. If they bug you enough, take your toys and retreat to a discord with your friends.

155 notes · View notes

messrsrobyn · 6 months ago

Note

for your anon concerned about tokenism which is a very important thing, it truly is. but what made me go easy on myself was realizing that fanfic is kinda not the place people should go for when looking for rep? now let me explain. it’s not that fics shouldn’t have rep, or that fic writers are exempted from having to incorporate it, because i don’t think it’s neither here and there. that’s not the argument we should be having. we should have rep in proper media, in things that actually make an impact in the world. that’s where the rep should happen and we should advocate for that etc etc. we also should be mindful of what we consume and how we do it and see if we only engage with cishet westernized stuff. but aside from that, if people are demanding from fic writers those things it’s kinda weird to me. like, my dude, you love the whitest, most cishet work of all times and that’s fine with you, but this random writer from xique xique bahia (brazilians will understand my joke) has to know all the intricacies of being a teen in the 70s in wales? or else they’re not doing a good work? like, maybe…! go read books that are diverse and engage in those fandoms too. a lot of HC are just like that anon said, so widely spread that just makes sense. desi harry is very dear to me. even if i also vibe with latino james. idk man, i think we can call off straight up problematic stuff. racist stuff. but if you go into fics trying to be educated maybe open a proper book and like, don’t expect fics to be a manifesto? i just want to see gay people kissing. and i think that’s the gist of it, i read books, i study, i educate myself so when i go into fanfiction im expecting to have a good time. i can also find amazing political stuff in it, but i don’t demand an academic work from writers. but some people are so braindead nowadays that the thought of actually opening a book and studying it too time consuming. so, anyways, yes please don’t be racist don’t be weird don’t be creepy, but also guys, maybe y’all should take fanfic less seriously and engage with other things outside of fandom.

I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF ‼️‼️‼️

the beauty of fanfiction is how chill it is !!! which is something that's been lost recently with all the moral debates (noisy jegulus haters, i'm looking at you and frowning) !!!

i'm doing a lit + pol degree, and that really shows the difference for me. yes, whilst i read these works for university i'm picking apart everything, i'm cross-referencing it with the politics of the time and how they've developed, at the back of my mind i've always got this idea of representation.

i don't with fanfiction. because that's not the point.

fanfiction is the a FREE and OPEN resource. we don't have to worry about whether publication companies find value in our ideas, we don't have to worry about whether our words hold as much worth as others. we just Write.

people get too concerned with the morality of fanfic, they expect perfection from people Doing A Hobby. and i get it, i get where frustrations come from, but at the end of the day this is a bit of fun.

and yes, diversity is SO important but at the end of the day, fanfiction is already the most diverse form of media out there. if you want deeper explorations, either write them, or take your frustrations out on the core material that fandoms are derived from. take your frustrations out on the fact that we have to add diversity to fandom spaces because it's not in original media.

fanfiction is fun, it's a hobby and i am getting So So So tired of people nitpicking and deciding what words have worth when that's the exact reason i criticise official publishers.

BONUS YAP: "i think that big authors needs to step up and-" NO ‼️‼️‼️ just because they have more hits does not mean fandom etiquette doesn't apply. just because their works have more kudos does not mean they owe anything !! maybe stop putting people who are Having Fun with a Hobby on a pedestal to be your moral light.

IT'S ALL SO FRUSTRATING IM SORRY. every time i open tiktok it takes a year off my life because it's not even FUN anymore 😭 why are we policing everything

#this sounds like me denying diversity doesnt it?#which isnt what i mean #i just mean like... fanfic authors are having Fun #and they're criticised for not doing enough #when it isn't their fault that they've been put on that pedestal #and fandom is already diverse #i think we just need to stop nitpicking and enjoy it #bc fandom is meant to be fun #and if we want diversity we need to create it instead of whining or take it up with the big people #take it up with jkr idk

13 notes · View notes

hel-phoenyx · 28 days ago

Text

Domhildr belongs to @soupedepates, Meili (mentioned) to @azeler and Kaizarz (mentioned) to @corneille-but-not-the-author

Post-session shenanigans

Something is nudging against my cheek.

It's soft. It's warm. It's gently pushing over my hair. It's.

It's. breathing all over me ?

What in the Abyss-

Some light goes through my eyes. Not a lot, just enough to make me realise it's at least noon, now that the sun is piercing in my room. Enoigh to shine upon Domhildr's smiley face inches next to mine.

She has her arms around my neck and her legs are clamped around mine.

What is she even doing in my-

Oh. Right. I found her in hers sleeping on a chair, Skuld in her bed. I took the occasion to bring her to mine, and find an excuse to not sleep this night, and maybe go swimming for a while now that I am at no risk to become a special siren snack. But then Valentina found me, we had that discussion, and... Well. I didn't swim a lot. Just took the time to clear out my thoughts, bring back Kaizarz's present to the ship and write on my diary.

I guess I fell asleep at my desk. At least I had time to close the notebook before dosing off.

Don't want anyone reading that.

".... Morning, Domi...."

"Hey, Tyr ! Happy to see you, Tyr. Why are you sleeping at your desk, Tyr."

I smile a little.

"Bed was occupied by a very space-taking fairy."

"Well last I checked I was with Skuld. Someone sure didn't need to bring me back to their bed. Or maybe you wanted to... Convey a message ?"

She raises her eyebrows, winks at me with that little crooked smile I've grown to love. I just roll my eyes.

"That kind of message would be better conveyed if I was in bed with you, don't ya think."

"Aw. Meanie."

I raise my head from the desk. Judging by the feeling on my cheek, I probably have markings all over my face, what a pain. It's even more a pain when Domhildr immediatly lifts her hand to brush them over. Before pulling on my cheek.

"... Ow. Aren't you supposed to be hangover ?"

"Teehee."

"What does that "teehee" means."

"It means I have drank the last of Paxaikon's ambrosia stock and now I am but a bird flying on high currents~"

Ah, ambrosia. Well, that certainly explains some things, like that blissful smile or the tingle in her eyes or how touchy she is with me-

Wait.

Ambrosia ?

That ambrosia ?

The ambrosia that rendered me high for three days even if I only drank a glass ? The ambrosia who made Kaizarz a cyclonic mess for a day even though he has the strongest regeneration spell I have witnessed and heard about in all our lineages ? The "made-by-dragon" ambrosia ?

That ambrosia ?

And she drank all their remaining reserve ?

....

This foretells complicated days to come, I'd wager. I'd better warn Meili.

".... How much was it ?"

"A full amphora ! And a good one at that !"

.... Oh, no.

Domi, praise the gods your constitution is high enough for a four feet tall fairy. Because that does not predict complicated days, but WEEKS. I took THREE DAYS for a cup and I have Heir of Vanasul. In addition to being 6'9 and weighing 150 kilograms.

It is too late to stop the catastrophe to come. Only thing that's left is sigh and pray she will at least get down a little before we arrive in Shabbatai-Qianfu.

And maybe cuddle for a while. Will cuddles stop her ? She isn't stopping anyway.

My chair scrape the ground in an awful noise, but I ignore it for the sake of being comfortable. And when my back is against the chair's own, a tiny little shit quite litteraly sits on my lap and buries her face in my neck with a content sigh. Her wings shiver on her back when I run my only hand on her shoulder. I can feel a butterfly-light press on the base of my neck.

"Getting a bit daring, are we."

"Don't hear you complaining. Are ya complaining ?"

Can't lie to her anymore.

"No. No I am not."

I probably should stop her. She is not in her right mind and I know better than anyone the effects ambrosia can have on us, with the exception of Kaizarz. I don't want to be the one taking advantage of that in any way.

Yet I am well and comfy and happy and ̷̤̏t̴͛ͅi̵̦̇ŗ̷͛ḛ̷͗d̷͙̐ and she feels so warm laying down on me and this is the first in a long time my heartbeat gets actually calmer.

So. Bad decision for bad decision. Let's make the most of it.

"... Say, Domi, Shabbatai-Qianfu is not very far away."

"Hm hm."

"We will probably stay a long time since the Celestial Emperor called us."

"Sucks, but you're probably right."

"And there is a taboo around alcohol in Shabbatai."

"What are you getting at ?"

I smile.

"Well, I couldn't get drunk yesterday. Was too distracted with showing Kaizarz how well I can lead a dance. And apparently, you only drank ambrosia. Sooooo...."

She raises her head from my shoulder and gods her smile shines brighter than a thousand stars.

"Are you asking if I want to get hammered with you ?"

"We won't have the occasion to drink for a long time, will we ?"

If some people I won't name heard me, I'd probably get an earful, but I don't care. I need to forget, I need to have fun, and I need, for once, to let myself be the bad decision maker.

Also, it will be easier to ignore Valentina's presence if I am wasted. Can't let the drunk man run the ship, now, can you ?

"So ? How about it ?"

"Tyr, your words are as much music to my ears as your voice. Let's empty our beer stash, first one to roll over is a pussy."

We indeed got an earful from everyone when Kaizarz found us both on the deck cheeks red as blood and laughing like every wind gust is the pinnacle of comedy. Probably because Domhildr once again almost threw her shirt and pants overboard and I may have ruined completely my hairdo as much as my outfit when she threw one of the beer barrels at me.

I've heard a lot of words from Meili mostly. How we were children, unable to hold for at least our departure, setting a bad example and by the Glorious, Tyr, I thought you at least a little more mature.

But I am laying down on the deck with her head on my chest while she points every cloud with a funny shape in the sky laughing every time she spots a dick and my own hand is on her hair and on that moment I think

Maybe love is not always pain.

#lysara #lysara ibruael #hel ocs #hel stories #hel writing #not my ocs #odyssey of the liberator #my babies I love them so much #fluff for your hearts and mine

5 notes · View notes

cloud-somersault · 5 months ago

Note

I've been following this fic since the start, and reading each chapter. We are so incredibly lucky to be enjoying this series at all, let alone for free. I appreciate all the work you’ve put in a lot of effort to create something that brought so much joy to so many people. Thank you so much for writing and remember you don’t owe us anything because you are incredibly talented and impeccable, and this story has me in a chokehold like no other and I would be more than happy to read more about what you have planned for this series.

It's great that your fics inspire such strong emotions in people because these characters are very nuanced and have a lot of depth and reasoning behind their actions, but sometimes it seems really hard for readers to remember, before writing any critique, that we have a lot more information than the characters in the story. We can see the same event from the perspective of different characters and even hear their internal monologues. But characters are limited to what they themselves can figure out, so of course they will make mistakes and do things that don't make sense at first glance. Sorry to hear you’re dealing with some drama in the comments. Hope you’re taking care of yourself! I know that must be pretty stressful, so maybe stepping away from a series for a while and then coming back later is a good choice. Your stories are completely worth the wait. Have a nice day or night! ❤

Thank you for sticking with this fic and this AU from the start! It's almost been 2 years. Thank you for reading and enjoying. I really appreciate that!!

That's very true. We, as the readers, have SO MUCH INFORMATION compared to the characters themselves. The only person who knows more is me, the author. And, something else I think is forgotten so much in this fandom in general is that Wukong and Macaque are immortal beings. The things that hurt us physically? Do not hurt them. The things that we think are egregious and out of this world? Are not to them. They have fought monsters and all that; they don't care about a quick squabble. They also know magic. We have to put all of that into context because, yes, in the real world, their fights and everything would be seen as wrong and dangerous. To them, though? Who have seen and been through so much? They don't have that same threshold that we do. I incorporate that into my writing.

And yes, the characters will do things that don't make sense! They will do things that will make you go "Aw, hell. This is gonna blow up in his face later." That's the entire point of fiction. Is seeing these characters grow and change or even fail to grow and change in some aspects.

That's also something we need to keep in mind. These are immortal beings. It takes them more time to understand something or learn a lesson or unlearn a toxic behavior compared to mortals who only live for so long. Wukong is nearly 4,000 years old; it's gonna take some time for some lessons to stick.

But thank you very much for sharing your opinion and kindness. I am defineitely going to take a step back once the epilogue is finished. I was going to stop here, at chapter 12, but I don't want to do that for my own personal reasons. I want it to be finished and in one place so that I can read it without opening a 300 page google doc and crashing my phone. It's mostly for ease of access right now.

But thank you!! Thanks for sticking with me. If you've been here since the start, wowie, you've seen it all. Thanks for seeing it through to the end with me. 💖

#constellations fic #ask #anon #thank you so much for sharing your perspective

8 notes · View notes

msnanu · 2 years ago

Text

Life Twist 05 | JJK

⏤banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren’t expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK’s noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 7.5K+

⏤ author’s note❧ This has been my favorite chapter to write as of now! I🤸🏼😍 As always, hope you enjoy this new chapter and let me know your thoughts on it. Have a great week loves, and thank you so much for reading!! 💜

Fuck. I look awful. You think to yourself while watching your own reflection on the bathroom mirror

Anyone could see a mile away those dark circles and puffiness of your eyes, it's obvious that you didn't sleep last night. So, you decide to apply some concealer to try your best not to look like a walking zombie.

You were nervous of going downstairs and face your friends. You feel embarrassed that maybe last night's scandal, the night was most likely ruined for everyone and even though you weren't the culprit that created the issue, you feel like you did your own contribution to it after screaming like crazy to Lina and crying in front of everyone.

Voices were heard coming from the kitchen while you were coming down the stairs. At least they all seemed to be talking as if nothing happened.

Knowing that Lina is out of the picture is a huge calmer for you, the air on the house feels lighter already.

Your best friend had texted you last night after he went to check on you and saw you sleeping - his exact words being 'Babe, the house has been exorcised, the blond demon has been kicked out' - he sent over to you, in hopes that it'll make you feel better as soon as you read it, which it did.

When you entered the kitchen, you saw from a far that everyone was starting to eat breakfast on the same dining table where everything unveiled last night - including Jungkook who looked like a zombie, just like you - you said a shy 'Good morning, guys' while walking towards them.

Everyone's head spined to where you were standing, and you could already see the pitiful looks towards you. Taehyung was the first to talk while he got up and grabbed you engulfing you in a warm hug 'I'm glad to see you here, we all are' he said while you couldn't help but to smile at his sweetness.

'Thanks Tae. I actually wanted to tell you something guys'

Their attention is solely on you, and you feel their worried faces as if they're thinking you’re going to start crying any time sooner, but you're not... you already cried to much yesterday on your room.

A little tired of the pitiful looks you say while sighing 'Please, don't look at me as if I'm made out of glass, I'm not going to break, I promise' and you see Chris smiling sweetly towards you and nodding like if he's saying a silent 'Go on'

'And...um, I'm very sorry about last night, most of you didn't knew that my dad had passed away last year and that sweater I was wearing was his, that's the reason why I bursted out like that. I feel like I kind of contributed to ruin everyone's night an-' you were interrupted by Namjoon's words

'Y/N stop please, you don't owe us any kind of apology or explanation. You're our friend and you didn't ruin anyone's night, Lina did. And as Tae said before, we're all just glad to see you here so, sit and enjoy your breakfast with us' he said while offering a comforting smile showing off those pretty dimples as always.

'Okay' you say as you sit down on one of the empty chairs right next to Aria who also hugs you as soon as you sit.

'Jimin has a surprise for you, sweetie' she says all mysterious and then she looks at Jimin who gets up and goes towards the family room. You furrow your eyebrows not understanding what's going on. Once he comes back, you recognize your dad's sweater on his hands. With no stains, no marks, perfect as it was before the blond demon threw the kimchi bowl on top of it.

Your eyes widened as Jimin put the sweater right in front of you and said 'It looks good as new' while giving you one of those beautiful smiles of him that makes his eyes disappear.

You jumped of your chair to hug Jimin that almost lost his balance, and he chuckled while he returned the hug.

Once you finished hugging him you said with so much happiness 'Oh my god, Jimin. How did you do this?'

'Chris came to me yesterday’ and you take a quick look over to where your best friend is, he looks so happy to see you smile and you say, ‘Thank you, bestie’ while he just winks at you. Then you go back to Jimin and say ‘This is amazing, I don’t know how you did it to make it look so perfect, Jimin’

‘You'd be surprised of my many talents' he simply says shrugging his shoulders acting all cocky.

'I really thought it was completely ruined; you don't even know how much this means to me. Thank you so much' and you hug him tightly again which he returns once again and says 'You don't have to thank me. That's what friends are for. Now come on, let's eat breakfast, I'm starving' while you both chuckle a little bit and take your sits to finally start eating breakfast while you all chit chat about anything but last night's events.

Well, all but Jungkook who's lost in his thoughts, you catch him looking towards you a few times. He looked really sad, but you are hurt and by now, you have too many doubts about him. So, you decide to ignore him for now. Sooner or later, you know you'll have to talk to him. But not now, now you'll just enjoy being with this wonderful group of friends.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

A few hours later you were chilling on the bridge by the lake, just a few steps from the cottage, with Emma and Aria while getting some vitamin D into your system with the help of the sunny day.

You talked for a while about tonight, the guys wanted to do a bonfire, Yoongi suggested doing a barbecue outside and drinks by the lake, which sounded amazing to your ears.

The only thing bothering you was Jungkook, Lina was already out of your lives, but you felt like you couldn't enjoy 100% yet, and you suspected it had to do with the fact that since you got here, you haven't been able to enjoy with the person that you most wanted to be with since the beginning, JK.

Luckily, it seemed like JK respected your decision and didn’t talk to you but all day long you could see he was as miserable as you were.

You closed your eyes while trying to take some rest of your thoughts when suddenly a shadow starts robbing you the sun that was warming up your skin

'If you're ready, I think you should talk to JK. He looks awful since he came downstairs’ said your best friend

Is he a mind reader? I was just thinking about that. It’s like your best friend can read you like a magazine

'I was actually thinking about that. I think I'll talk with him now'

'K, I just saw him, he's on the family room laying on the sofa. All the guys are outside so, you two can have your privacy'

'No need to give us privacy tho, you were all there witnessing everything yesterday and you're my friends so, I can talk whatever it is in front of you' you say

Chris nodded and then said 'Okay, then I'll be in the kitchen with Jimin, if you need me to kick JK's ass I'll be just a scream away'

You chuckled while you got up and headed towards the family room with Chris and Jimin. Chris winked at you and gave you a thumbs up while going to the kitchen along with Jimin who had preoccupied look.

Jungkook was indeed laying on the sofa with his phone, he didn't even realize you were there until you made your way right in front of him. His eyes widened as soon as he saw you, but he didn't say anything.

'I think we should talk now, if you're feel like you’re up to it' you said with your heart beating faster than ever, you were really nervous and his Bambi eyes that looked exhausted didn't help, you just wanted to give in and hug him, but no, part of yesterday’s events are his responsibility – you keep reminding to yourself - you have to focus Y/N

'Yeah, of course, sure... let's talk' JK said with his sweet voice.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

'You could have warned him a little bit before sending Y/N to talk to him… don’t you think? I'm sure you know the best way to patch things up with Y/N' said a worried Jimin to your best friend while waiting on the kitchen

'Warn him? She's like 7 inches smaller than him. It's not like she's going to kill him. Besides, what's the fun on warning him? I already gave him enough advantage. Any other guy that would made her cry would normally receive a nice ass beating from me so, in any case he should be thankful. Plus, I know these two like the back of my hand, Y/N is going to eat him alive as soon as he says the wrong thing' said Chris while giggling like a little kid.

Jimin was looking at him with furrowed eyebrows now. 'Um... I'm not fully understanding, do you want them to fix things up or do you want them to keep fighting?'

'Of course, I want them to fix things up. I'm friends with both and I love them. But JK did made a mistake, and he needs someone to put him in place. Turns out that Y/N is perfect for that job, and she also needs it. You know, Y/N is normally like a teddy bear but when she gets mad... oh boy, you should run' said Chris while chuckling at Jimin who was now perplexed.

'You have a really weird way to show that you love your friends, you know that?'

'Love is love. In any way it's manifested' said Chris while winking at Jimin.

'If you say so' the reason why Jimin was worried it’s because he knew JK, he knew he might fuck up because he tends to be impulsive when he’s fighting someone and says the first thing that come through his brain without filtering.

Your best friend seeing Jimin's worried features, put a hand on his shoulder and reassured him 'Hey - trust me, they need to get the frustration out of their system first, they're going to be okay' while Jimin silently nodded.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

‘So...' you start your conversation lingering over because you're not sure what to say.

'So...' JK repeats nervously after you, he's now sitting on the sofa while you’re sitting in front of him on a small little table.

'Um… okay. First, I wanted to thank you for respecting my decision of not talking to me' you saw JK nodding with his head.

'You were hurt, I understand that you didn't want to talk to me. I'm not gonna lie, it stinged like hell because the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you' said Jungkook while looking down with sad eyes.

'Then why did you invite Lina?'

'I was told that you were coming with Minho. I was fucking jealous, and I somehow ended up inviting her to make you feel jealous too' he confessed feeling embarrassed as hell, but it also felt like a weight had been lifted of him

Well, Emma’s assumptions were correct. He wanted to make you feel jealous and boy... he had accomplished that without a doubt

You nodded at him and responded 'I honestly imagined that it was to make me jealous'

'So? Did it work?' JK said finally smiling at you, you missed that smile

'Yes, it did' you said rolling your eyes. His smile became wider, like if he was proud of being able to make you jealous. And you both chuckle.

Then you get a little serious and continue 'Sadly, I got hurt thanks to that, both physically and emotionally'

Then JK's smile dropped. He sighed while saying 'I'm sorry for bringing Lina, I never thought she was capable of doing such things'

'To be fair, I don't think anyone could expect someone being such an awful human being' you say while he just hums in affirmation, it seems like he is thinking about something and then he talks again

'You know what bothers me the most?' asks you Jungkook suddenly

'What is it?'

'What bothers me insanely is that all of this could have been avoided so easily'

'What do you mean?' you say furrowing your eyebrows, not quite following where's he's going with his comment

'I mean if you had told me sooner that you broke up with Minho, I would have canceled Lina's invitation here and things would have been totally different'

'Aaaaaaaaand there it is - he shouldn't have said that - wait for it, she'll be eating him like a snack' says Chris to Jimin while laughing

They were both hearing and watching everything from the kitchen in case things went south. Jimin hits his forehead with his hand, while saying over to Chris 'He's an idiot' and he's now more worried than ever about Jungkook because by the looks of your face you didn't like at all his comment.

And Jimin was right, because you couldn't believe Jungkook's nerve, you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

Is he really trying to turn the guilt towards you just because you didn't tell him sooner that you broke up with Minho? This is ridiculous

'Excuse me? Are you somehow trying to put the blame on me for your own decisions?' your tone wasn't amicable anymore, that's for sure

Jungkook rolled his eyes, and you were 10 seconds away from strangling him when he responded 'I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying... if I knew that you weren't coming with Minho then I wouldn't have invited Lina'

'Wouldn't it have been much more reasonable that you just acted as an adult and didn't pull the stupidest thing just to try make me jealous?' you bark at him

'There you go, I was waiting to see when you were gonna pull the adult shit thing, we are only 4 years apart from each other, okay? So, stop talking to me as if I were a kid' the way he responded you could easily sense he was getting worked up too. But you couldn’t care less, you were outraged at his attitude.

'Then stop acting like one' you simply responded raising one of your eyebrows at him and crossing your arms across your chest

That's it, Jungkook was done of taking all the blame and you talking to him like a little kid.

'You know what? I don't even know why I’m still talking to you. I already said I'm sorry for what happened but I'm not responsible of Lina's behavior'

Is he for real? Oh my god I'm gonna kill him - it was all you could think of

'You are responsible for her coming here. That's enough for me'

'Okay then you are just blind as fuck, you just want to blame it all on me'

At this point you weren't talking anymore in a normal tone, you were almost screaming at each other. That's when you get up of where you were sitting and he repeats the same action, standing tall in front of you, both are looking to each other’s eyes with the most intense gaze, and you continue to respond at him.

'And who the fuck should I be blaming if not you? I repeat, YOU are the solely reason of her being here. Ugh, you know what, it was clearly a mistake even giving you a chance to explain yourself' you say already getting tired of discussing.

'You are just being stubborn and petty' he said with the coldest tone ever.

That's it, you'll kick his sorry ass

'What did you just said to me?' you say angrily while getting quickly closer until you're 1 cm from his face.

From a far Chris was laughing hysterically at JK's sudden scared face. You are intimidating and fearless when it comes to this. Anyone who would get in a fight with you, regretted it immediately because you are the kind of person who doesn't back off easily, especially when you're convinced that you did nothing wrong.

'K, that's it, you had your fun, we should go separate them before Y/N kicks his ass' said Jimin over to Chris who couldn't stop laughing.

'Don't worry I got it' said your best friend going towards you and JK.

'Okay okay okay, you both cut it out. I see you made a great progress, kids' said ironically Chris while you both rolled your eyes at him

'This was a waste of time' you say and go outside to get some fresh air and cool a little bit

JK just watched you go while sighing and rubbing his temples. He somehow thought that things couldn't get worse with you, but it did.

'So, first fight with Y/N. Congrats, you've survived! On a 1 to 10 scale where 1 is 'I'm not even sweating' and 10 is 'I shitted my pants when I saw her getting angry' how do you feel?'

'Definitely a 10' said JK feeling almost defeated.

'Don't worry Jungkookie, you'll work this out. She might be scary when she's mad but she's also the most awesome person I know when she's not. Also... it’s kinda difficult not to get angry at you based on the talk you two had' said Chris chuckling. The bastard is surely enjoying this.

'I'm not sure if we'll work it out, we were supposed to work it out now and look how it ended'

'Maybe you both just needed to talk freely even though you ended up getting angry. You should hear Chris, he knows Y/N' said Jimin to try and calm the youngest.

'Maybe tonight with a few drinks in, you'll both get calmer and be able to talk normally. Don't worry about it,’ said Chris

And Jungkook tried to listen to Chris and Jimin's advice. After all, Chris is your best friend and knows you well enough, if he says it’s gonna be okay, then it's probably gonna be that way. But he still feels bummed out. He needs to make things right with you. He'll make it right tonight, no matter what it takes.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

The night had come, and you all were sitting around the bonfire talking while Yoongi and Joey were a few steps farther working on the barbecue. You were sitting beside Chris drinking your second glass of Soju while Jungkook was on the opposite side of you between Jimin and Jin.

You didn't cross any words with JK after your last discussion. How could he call you stubborn and petty?

He was in no position of behaving that way towards you, especially after all the bad situations that you had to go through yesterday, all because a childish girl that he had invited.

You were busy with your thoughts when you suddenly notice something small and blackish moving on the grass not too far from you. It can't be, right? You haven't seen any bug almost since you got here... the weather it's not even humid or hot.

You need to confirm if your suspicions are right and there's no freaking way, you'll ever get close to that thing moving so, you whisper already with a trembling voice to your best friend's ear 'Hey - there's something moving over there, could you please check?' while pointing with your hand the area

'Sure babe, don't worry' he says and gets up from the log where he was sitting to check and then immediately looks over to you and moves his head in affirmation

Your eyes widened and you immediately got up and ran off to the cottage's porch saying 'Chrisssssss, please take care of it!'

'I'm on it' he said while chuckling because the others were all with puzzled faces not understanding why the heck you ran off all the sudden

'She has cockroaches’ phobia and she spotted one here' he explained to everyone while killing it and grabbing a tissue paper to get rid of it.

'Cockroach? Where where? Is it dead? Oh my god oh my god oh my god' said Hobi while getting up and also running off to the cottage’s porch where you were waiting for your friend to confirm if he had got rid of the disgusting bug.

The others started to laugh at the sight of scaredy cat Hobi who went to hug you and looked far more terrified than you to be honest.

'I guess Hobi is not anymore the only one scared of bugs' said Aria while laughing at his boyfriend and you.

'Yeah, but Hobi is basically scared of every bug, Y/N doesn't like bugs in general but the only ones that might make her cry of fear are the cockroaches' said Chris - he's like an encyclopedia of you - JK thought.

'K, it's done, no more danger over here' Chris screamed at you and Hobi while you both nodded and started to come back to your places around the bonfire.

'Thanks, you're my guardian angel' you said over to your best friend giving him a peck on his cheek while your heart was starting to calm down.

Chris just winked at you and smiled while patting at the sitting spot you had left empty.

'So... cockroaches, huh?' said Namjoon chuckling as soon as you sat down.

'Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, don't judge me. I really can't control it... my heart starts beating incredibly faster and I always end up running off' you say while also chuckling.

You're completely aware of how irrational it sounds because it’s not like a cockroach can kill you or anything. But that's exactly what a phobia is, irrational fear to something.

'Don't worry, I understand you, my friend' said Hobi offering you a comforting smile

'Of course, you would understand her, you would understand anyone with a fear, you fear almost everything' said Jin while laughing at his friend who only glared at him and said 'No, I don’t’

'Guys, you don't even imagine the level of phobia that this girl here has' said Chris and then he looked at you and continued 'Remember that time we were coming back to your dad's place at night?' and all the sudden you and Chris were laughing like two crazy people, you had tears in your eyes from laughing.

Jungkook's lips twitched, he loved seeing you laugh. Even after your discussion, he couldn't help but to stare at your whole form. You looked so beautiful.

'Ohhhhh, I wanna know! What happened when you were going to Y/N dad's place at night?' asked a curious Taehyung while wiggling his eyebrows.

So, Chris starts by saying 'Well, I think we were about 18 years old at that time. It was 2 AM in the morning and we were coming back from having a few drinks at a bar. Keep in mind, we were the only ones on the street around that hour. We were like 2 blocks away from her dad's place walking and talking normally when all of the sudden this brat’ – Chris pointing at you – ‘started to run as if her life depended on it' you couldn't stop chuckling while your best friend continued telling the anecdote 'So, I automatically thought...'maybe she saw someone that was going to mug us or something like that' and of course, I also started to run like crazy' and all of your friends including Jungkook were already laughing with you two.

'After running those 2 blocks and arriving to her dad's, we were both out of breath and I asked her 'What the hell happened? You scared the shit out of me' and I think that was one of the few times I almost want to murder her because while she was trying to recover her breath she responded, 'I saw 2 dead cockroaches' ' and immediately all of the group bursted on laughter not believing that you could fear a dead bug.

'Seriously Y/N? Dead cockroaches??' said Jin while his windshield laugh resonated around you.

'I swear to God. I couldn't help it. It's like I saw those disgusting things on the floor and my mind immediately though 'if there's 2 one’s dead, there might be a lot more alive and closer' so I started to run without even telling Chris' you said while cleaning the laugh tears that fell on your cheeks

Well, finally your tears were from laughter and not sadness.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

The food was delicious as expected, chef Min Yoongi delivered an amazing barbecue along with Joey’s help.

You kept drinking Soju during the night and by the end of dinner, most of you were tipsy or drunk as fuck like Tae and Chris who were already starting to sing and babbling nonsenses.

Chris started to cling on you while saying ‘Noooooooooooooona, I’m sleepy sleepy, really sleepy’

‘Oh my god you’re such a big baby’ you whine while trying to get him up

‘Noona?’ asked Yoongi ‘You’re older than Chris, Y/N?’

‘I’m just 3 months older but every time he gets drunk, he annoyingly starts to call me Noona’ you respond

Then Jimin commented ‘Wait, Chris’s birthday is in August, right? So…that means your birthday is this month Y/N’

‘Bingoooooooo!’ screamed Chris while the others laughed at his drunken state.

‘Yeah, my birthday it’s on the 19th’ you simply responded; you aren’t much of the people who enjoys celebrating your birthday. But it did come to your thought that the last birthday that you actually celebrated was 2 years ago. When you still had your dad by your side.

Last year you were nowhere near to have any energy to celebrate your birthday. By that time, your dad had passed away the month before. So, when your birthday arrived, you turned off your phone and avoided any calls or greetings.

You just couldn’t stop thinking how the most special person in the world to you, wasn’t going to say, ‘Happy birthday!’ to you for the first time. Maybe you should celebrate this time, at least have dinner with your new friends or something like that, to drift your mind elsewhere.

Jungkook noticed you spacing out a little bit. Once at the gym he had asked you the exact date of your birthday since he only new it was some day around May. And you were also very short with your answer. He can tell is not something that you like to talk about that much, maybe it’s because of your dad. That makes him feel sad too, it was beyond obvious that you shared a special bond with your dad. He himself can’t imagine how he would feel without any of his parents. It must be so hard for you.

You didn’t even realize that you were spacing out until Jin spoke.

‘We must celebrate then! Besides my handsome features, I’m a great birthday party planner. I’ll take care of yours Y/N!’ said Jin who sounded excited as if it was his own birthday

‘Um… yeah, sure, I’m not much of a birthday type person but it would be nice to celebrate it with you, guys’

Namjoon saw your struggle with your drunk best friend that wouldn’t stop saying that he felt sleepy. So, he approached to you and offered you help while grabbing Chris from your hold ‘I’ll make sure he gets to his room, I’m not that drunk don’t worry’ he said while chuckling

‘Thanks, Joon’ you said while watching Namjoon lifting Chris up as if he was a sack of potatoes. Chris can be a real pain in the ass when he gets drunk.

‘No worries, I’ll probably also head to sleep once I’ve delivered this package. Goodnight, guys’

‘Right behind you’ said Hobi going hand to hand with Aria while also waving goodbye to the rest of the guys.

The following minutes Joey and Emma followed the same path as the others along with Jimin who was carrying Taehyung that couldn’t even walk properly. The only thing that Taehyung hadn’t drank was the lake’s water, he was a mess.

So, at the end you were left sitting by the bonfire with Jin, Jackson, Yoongi and JK.

You had a small talk with Yoongi about videogames and different animes that you loved from your childhood; you had a lot of common being both ‘93 liners.

You told him how you loved ‘Cardcaptor Sakura’ especially the character of ‘Kero’ that you always wanted to have Kero’s teddy bear because you found it so freaking cute, but you never got it. While Yoongi told you how he still binge-watches ‘Slam Dunk’ every time he has the opportunity.

After that nice talk, Yoongi told you he was going to bed and waved you goodbye – incredible that he was one of the lasts to go to sleep, you thought to yourself.

‘I think I’m going to have a little walk’ you said to the rest of the guys while walking towards the forest.

That’s when Jin elbowed Jungkook and made him signals for him to go with you.

Jungkook almost whispered screamed at Jin ‘What if she tells me to fuck off, hyung?’

‘Then you deserve it, but you have to at least try talking with her again – you’re both tipsy, maybe that’ll make things easier,’ simply responded Jin.

‘We’ll get going to bed too. So, you two can have your little time together’ said Jackson while winking at JK and getting up from his sit along with Jin.

Jungkook sighed a little scared of your reaction whenever you saw him going after you.

Okay, here we go – he thought to himself.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

'Noona, you're drunk. Come back here, it's too dark and you might fall' you hear Jungkook’s sweet voice from behind you.

'I'm just a little tipsy, I'm not drunk' while you keep walking into the forest.

'Okay, if you say so. I’ll go with you' says Jungkook while following you behind. You could get easily lost in the forest and get hurt in the dark, he's not gonna leave you alone. Plus, he needs to make things up with you somehow, just as Jin said.

Suddenly you stop walking, and you turn around going some steps towards Jungkook who has a surprised face now because of the closeness that you’re sharing, and you say, 'Why would you bring someone that you don't even like just to make me jealous?'

'Or did you intended to hurt me?' you say pouting sadly at him, he swears he almost folds after seeing that cute face of yours.

'What? No! Noona, how could you think I would want to hurt you?'

'I don't know what to believe, okay? I don't know anymore; you keep confusing me Jungkook'

And you keep talking while he stares at you with those beautiful doe eyes ‘I thought we had a connection the day we first met, I was excited to see you on the night club that day on Jackson's birthday thinking we were both in the same page and what do I got? Lina sucking your face'

He takes a few more steps towards you, cupping your face, making you look straight to his eyes, and he says 'Noona, we did have a connection that day when we met and I also was excited to be with you on the night club, I told you this already... Lina was the one to kiss me. And we still have that connection; I know you feel it too'

'I... I don't know what to think. You told me there wasn't nothing more between you and her. But she was the first person that you thought to bring here just to make me jealous, that doesn't sound as nothing to me' you start to feel your eyes sting.

Jeez. Since when do you cry so easily?

'Why...' you get choked up as you start crying 'Why did you hurt me, Jungkook?'

‘Fuck' you curse between tears and put your hand on JK's chest putting some distance between you two 'Why do I always end up crying in front of you?' you say almost defeated.

Jungkook was lost of words. He never thought he made you this confused. Confused enough to start thinking that he might wanted somehow to hurt you intentionally. He never would do something like that. But he had to clear everything right now and put a stop to all the misunderstandings.

He grabs your hand that's still over his chest and moves it towards his heart while you just watch him with your teary eyes. His heart was beating insanely fast, you could feel it going crazy…just the same as yours felt. He was affected by you just as much as he affected you.

'Feel my heartbeat, noona. That can't be faked and that's how I feel every time I am with you, every time you laugh, every time you smile, you make my heart go crazy' he said as he also started to feel his eyes watering.

'I've been an idiot, I didn't understand how you could be dating another guy knowing that we both liked each other, I was impulsive inviting her, but I swear to you I never, ever, wanted to hurt you in anyway and the only girl that's in my mind is you, it's always been you since the day I saw you in Jackson's house. Lina and I were over months ago and it never happened anything else, only that kiss that you saw at the night club. I was pretty clear with her, and I told her that there was no way we would be restarting things. I just... want...you' he said while leaning his forehead against yours, you could see tears streaming down his cheeks.

You were sure he was being sincere; it was written all over his face. You shared one look at each other while your hand instantly started caressing the side of his face and you were about to kiss him when he said 'I don't want to take advantage of you, noona. As much as I want to kiss you and never let you go, I want our first kiss to be while we're both sober'

'You're not taking advantage; I'm giving you the advantage plus I told you I'm just tipsy' you said while looking at those lips that were almost calling you.

He smiled at you and whined saying 'Noona, you're not making things any easier for me, you know that?' while his eyes also dropped to your lips.

'Just a little kiss and we can go to sleep then' you whispered on his ear.

'Fuck - you'll be the death of me. How can I say no to you?' he said with that raspy voice that you love to hear.

You were the one to cup his face now and got closer to his beautiful, sculpted face and you whispered at him right in front of his lips while staring at his Bambi eyes 'I just want you too' - his eyes lighted up as soon as he heard you and you both smiled at each other.

And that’s when it finally happened, you both closed the short distance at the same time and connected your lips together. You both felt a wave of electricity running through your bodies as soon as your tongues touched.

He grabbed your waist tightly while making you walk backwards until your back was against a tree, you grabbed his shirt into a fist pulling him closer to you. The kiss was slow and passionate, your lips moved in sync as if they were made for each other.

Jungkook then started to kiss your cheek and continuing his kisses lowering to your jawline, then your neck where he sucked your skin as you tilted your head giving him more access, at that point a small moan escaped your lips and you could feel his smirk against your neck as he continued sucking it as if his life depended on it - he stopped for a second and watched proudly the mark he had left on your neck - and then he kissed you again on your lips.

Oh my God. Is this really happening?

While you kept your lips connected you started to run one of your hands against his abs while the other was busy pulling a little bit his hair. He groaned with that raspy voice of his that always was successful on making a pool between your legs. You stopped kissing and he pressed his forehead on yours.

'I-… God... I’ve been wanting to do that for such a long-time baby, I can't stop now'

'Then don't stop' you said breathlessly against his lips while biting your lower lip.

'Gosh, don't do that. Don't bite that lip. You’ll make me go crazy' when you looked at him you could see his eyes filled with lust and he immediately connected your lips again.

This time it was much steamier, you could feel him getting harder on his sweatpants and you were a mess - he felt so fucking big -, you couldn't stop moaning. You needed to feel him more, so, you grinded against his erection and he replied also grinding against you while you heard him grunting between the kisses.

This kept going for a few minutes until you had to stop to catch some air and as soon as your eyes met you both chuckled while he cupped your face and gave you a last peck on your lips.

'Sorry, I couldn't control myself; I have been waiting for you for a while now, baby' he said while smiling at you.

'Baby, huh? I like how that sounds coming from your lips' you smiled back 'I'm not complaining though, it's not like I was successful on controlling myself' while you both shared a laugh.

It was getting chilly outside and JK noticed you were wearing a shirt and leggings so, he said 'You're gonna get sick, it's getting cold here, gorgeous. How about we head inside?'

'Yeah, sure, let's go handsome' you said. He blushed at the compliment while smiling and offering you his hand to you and you took it as you both made your way towards the cottage with a smile plastered on your faces.

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

You were in front of your bedroom when you beat him to talk first and say 'Um...would you like to sleep with me?'

His eyes went big as two plates and you realize that what you said sounded bad, though you would love to release all the sexual tension that there's between you two, you don't think it's the best idea to have sex when all your friends are sleeping literally on the same floor.

If he made you moan only for kissing you with your clothes on, you can't imagine how loud you'll be once he's inside you. Fuck, you should stop thinking about that

'Oh my god, I didn't think how it sounded before saying it. Sorry, I was referring to you sleep by my side. Not that I don't want to sleep with you in the other way, don't misunderstand me, I really really want to...but I think is not the best when our friends are sleeping on the same floor and maybe it'll be good for us to take it slow' you said to him while you both chuckled

'You really don't have any filter when you have a few drinks on your system...but I gotta say I really love it, you're so straightforward, noona' once again he had that lustful look that was driving you crazy and as he came closer to your face he said 'I would love to sleep with you, in any possible way'

You started to blush like crazy and giggling while you grabbed him by his hand and you both entered your room.

'Um... I wear only a big t-shirt to sleep, hope that's okay with you' you say, and you swear you see his lips twitch before he says 'No problem noona, I normally sleep only with boxers but maybe it's too much to ask, is it okay if I take off my shirt at least? It's hard for me to sleep with clothes on' asking for your permission with a smirk on his face.

Fuck fuck fuck. He's such a tease

You try to sound unphased saying 'Yeah sure, take it off, no problem' and you stayed there frozen while he took off his shirt slowly almost torturing yourself. Oh for the love of God, what a fine piece of man. Your eyes were concentrated on his six pack, how can he be this hot? It should be illegal.

'Noona' suddenly his raspy voice woke you up from your trance, he got really close to you and cupped your face again. You gulped when you came across with his intense gaze once again... you wanted to touch his abs so bad.

'Yes, JK?' you almost whisper.

'If you keep checking me out like that, I won't be able to control myself from fucking you all night long'

Yeah, your pussy just died

'I- I wasn't checking you out' you lie, and you both know is a big fat lie because you were almost salivating at the Adonis in front of you.

Jungkook chuckled, he loved seeing you this affected by him. 'Okay baby, if you say so... you're not gonna get your clothes changed?'

'Oh yeah, you’re right, I'll be right back' you grabbed your big t-shirt that you use to sleep sometimes and went to your bathroom to change clothes.

Once you exited the bathroom with your t-shirt on, you saw that Jungkook was already under the covers sitting on the bed with his back against the bed head, waiting for you. He lifted his eyes when he heard you coming out of the bath and you could see his gaze turning dark, looking at your now exposed legs.

He was intimidating you with that dark gaze. It was incredible that this man could be soft, cute and at the same time so hot and full of lust. You went quickly to your side of the bed and got under the covers too.

His eyes followed every step you took and once you were by his side he said 'You look beautiful' while smiling at you.

'And you look like a Calvin Klein publicity' you said and that got a proper laugh of him while you joined too. He was blushing now. He went in two seconds from hot and lusty Jungkook to shy and blushing Jungkook. The duality in this man is insane.

'No. Seriously. I knew you were hot' his eyebrows shoot up in surprise as soon as he heard you while you continued 'But this' - you say while touching his abs and his eyes just follow your hand while he gulps - 'It brings a whole new level of hotness'

'Fuck' he curses under his breath. 'Baby, you are such a minx' he said while grabbing your chin and you just smiled at him.

'We better sleep now. Do you mind if I sleep with my head on your chest?' you ask with a cute pouty face.

'Of course, you can do whatever you want with me' he shamelessly says, seeing how your cheeks start to get rosy from the blushing.

Please, stooooooppppp Jeon Jungkook

'Good to know that' you say shortly, while you make yourself comfortable with your head on his chest and your hand goes to rest right on those killing abs.

'I can't believe that finally I have you in my arms' he suddenly said, and you couldn't help looking him in the eyes and caressing his face.

'You and me both. But I'm glad it's finally happening' you said, and he felt his heart skipping a beat.

'Me too, noona. Sweet dreams'

You came closer and cupped his face to give him a sweet peck on the lips that made both of your stomach feel tingly. He smiled at you while you said 'Goodnight JK'.

With his arms around your frame, JK couldn't stop thinking that this had to be a dream. He feared falling sleep and that when he woke up you wouldn't be there. He didn't want you to slip away from him again.

He took one look to your cute face, you looked happy sleeping over his body. He couldn't help but to smile too. He decided to push away all his fears of losing you and he fell asleep while holding you tightly and thinking to himself – this time I won’t let you slip away from me, noona.

Previous | Next

#lifetwist #jjk #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fic

83 notes · View notes

spider-man-199999 · 2 years ago

Text

Web love || Spider-Man 4

Summary: Spider-Man saved you that one time when you needed him and now he comes and checks up on you every single day.

Author's note: I'm honestly so demotivated to write this part since the whole series flopped and idk why

previously on web love: part 1 part2 part 3

this pic is a representation of how Peter feels about his mixed feeling in this fic

"...Life often times opens doors we never really expected to ever be open. And often times these new opportunities lead us to experiencing things we never have dreamed of. And these experiences shape us into the person we become. But sometimes the person we see in the mirror is not the person we want to be. Taking particular roles in life bring us misery, especially when we are not mentally prepared to meet other's expectations for this "social role". And now that we have grown up, we have gone this far, who do we owe it to? When you look back on your life you realize that it's not the groundbreaking turning point that has made us who we are but it was the little everyday things like meeting someone new, doing things you have never done before and generally having the courage to put yourself out there in the world are actually the things that really change us. Those are the things that speak for us the loudest in society and those are the things to which I owe who I am now." Peter's voice rang in the classroom as he read his English essay, his palms sweaty and his cheeks rosy. After he finished his speech the teacher thanked him and told him to sit down and as he walked down to this seat he flipped Ned off, who was filming him with his phone the whole time.

"What are you doing, nuthead?" Peter whispered to him

"I'm going to send this to Y/N, she helped you write that and wanted me to tell her how it went. But we live in the 21st century so I thought it would be better to show her instead''

"Sure, fine, even though I probably look like a dumbass-" he started saying as the teacher shushed them. Peter shook his head, getting a text from you.

Killsforpills: So, I heard the reading went well.

Spywalker: Not bad, not bad

Killsforpills: PUBG after school?

Spywalker: I have work

Killsforpills: Ok, I'll be playing if you decide to join at some point

After the last time Spider-man had come to visit he had vanished once again. You would spend most of your free time just playing videogames and doing school work. Keeping your thoughts occupied was the best way for your to not go insane after everything. Deadpool stopped showing up as well, which left you thinking that maybe this insanity was finally over for good. Maybe it was time to turn the page and try to find a boyfriend or something. Everyone around seemed occupied with someone else, Peter and MJ, Ned and some girl from their school. You felt left out, crying yourself to sleep more times than you would wish for.

Spidey, of course, was not happy about the fact either. He would always check up on you when he could, come see you as much as possible. The issue was that he felt like he had made a really big mess when he visited the last time. He was feeling like a hot mess as well, all these things happening to him. The pressure of being Spider-man, the guilt of lying to MJ about his feelings, the pain from seeing you hurt. It was all piling up, making him slowly lose his mind in all the stress. He would get injure more often than before, do worse on his test. He even seemed to space out often enough to make Ned and MJ worried about him. He would brush it off and tell them not to pay him attention ‘’it’s just superhero things’’ he would say and put on a fake smile for them. It got to the point where Ned had to call and make you try and get something out of him

“You have to call him and make him play a game together! Please, he refuses to talk to us! We need you to find something out....’‘ Ned whined through the phone, convincing you to help him.

“I don’t mean to be rude but why don’t you ask MJ? She’s his girlfriend, surely she’ll get more out of him than me.”

“We tried everything, you’re our last hope! Maybe he needs someone he doesn’t see every single day to open up to! Just try, ok?’‘

‘‘Ok, fine, I’ll try’‘ You agreed with a sigh escaping your lips.

The ringing sound was filling your ear as you had already dialed Peter, trying to reach him. After a few rings you gave up on the call, throwing your phone on the bed behind you and messaging Ned.

Killsforpills: He’s not picking up

Iamfriendswithsidey: Call him again. PLEASE

Killsforpills: Surely he would have picked up if he wanted to talk, maybe he’s busy.

You heard the vibrations from behind you, turning to see Peter calling you. Rushing to pick up you stumbled in the bed, groaning as you hit your leg and rolled on the bed, picking up.

‘‘Hey, you called’‘ You barely heard the boy’s voice from what seemed like wind

‘‘Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to play some Minecraft, ouch’‘

“What’s wrong?’‘

‘‘Fuck, um nothing, I hit my leg in the bed and it’s bleeding’‘

‘‘I’ll be over in a bit’‘

‘‘Wait, I....’‘ he had already hung up.

You felt kind of bad, maybe he thought it was a serious injury and that’s why he was rushing over but in reality it was just a scratch and he was going to go out of his way for nothing. After what seemed an eternity you heard the doorbell, walking over to open the door. Peter walked in with a worried expression on his face, scanning you to see where the injury was.

‘‘What happened? Are you alright?” He asked as he threw his bag on the couch and grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the bathroom.

‘‘Peter, it’s literally just a scratch, you shouldn’t have walked all the way here! I can take care of that’‘

He didn’t even bother to listen to you, sitting you down on the edge of the tub and looking through the cabinet for rubbing alcohol and bandages.

‘‘It’s going to sting’‘ He said in a serious tone, cleaning the wound.

‘‘You don’t need to do this for just a scratch’‘

He looked up, his gaze piercing right through your body, making you shiver.

‘‘You’ve done it too many times for me’‘

‘‘I haven’t?”

‘‘I mean you would have done it for me too’‘ he said suddenly embarrassed, placing a plaster on the scratch and getting up.

‘‘Hey, what’s with your hands?’‘ His hands were all covered in plaster and bandage

‘‘It’s nothing, work stuff’‘

‘‘Peter, I’m serious, what’s going on? Ned and MJ are very worried about you, you cut me off every time I try to spend time with you, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me. You’ve been acting kind of odd lately.’‘

He looked up, one eye squinting lightly because of the light above you. He put on a fake smile, packing the things he used back.

‘‘I really do think it would be best for you if you didn’t know’‘ he said softly and got up, walking out of the bathroom and sitting on the kitchen counter (like Spider-man used to do every time he would hag out), grabbing a glass and pouring himself a glass of orange juice. Everything felt oddly familiar when you saw he scene. The way his legs hung, the way he threw his head back as he drank, his jawline. Even the way he wiped his mouth with his sleeve sparked some weird sensation in your chest. You tried to brush it off, trying not to think about it and sat down on the couch, turning the tv on. You two spent the evening playing Minecraft together but by the time Peter had to go it felt like you made little to no progress with him. I guess talking about feelings was not his thing.

***

After Peter left your apartment that night, you couldn’t sleep well. After hours of spinning and tossing around in your bed, all the memories of Spider-Man kept rushing through your head, his voice, the way he talked, the way he moved, everything was adding up in your head, it felt like you were about to explode. You never really spent much time with Peter, especially alone, so you never really had a close observation on his behaviour. Yet, somehow, everything clicked. The clock was striking 2 am when you decided maybe it was finally time to confront the situation. Your feelings were getting caught up in the mix as well, making it even worse. It really did feel like your head was spinning, you couldn’t breathe well, your heart was beating so fast it was going to explode just like your head. A panic attack? You’d didn’t know what to do. The only person you knew you need to talk to was Peter. So, almost on impulse, you picked up your phone and dialled his number. You heard the dial in your ear, it was so loud you had to pull the phone slightly away form your face. Just as you did that, the dial stopped and you heard a faint voice from the small device.

“Hello?”

Your breathing got heavier, your heart started beating faster and the room really started spinning.

“Hello? Y/N, are you alright?” The words echoed in the room, a bit more clear this time, you felt tears rolling down your cheeks.

“N-no” you managed to whisper through heavy breaths

“Where are you?” Peter asked, starting to panic himself, which made you more worried.

“Home” you said softly, breaking down in a cry at this point

“Okay, listen to me. I want you to breathe slowly, follow my lead” he told you, voice still panicked as he started taking deep breaths, listening closely to you as you started copying him. “I’m on my way to you, okay? Just keep breathing”

“I’m so sorry” you muffled out, through soft cries, handing up form the panic and breaking down. You didn’t expect to have a panic attack when you called him, or for it to get worse when you did. You didn’t expect him to actually come around, but he did, at 2:30 am, he was knocking on your door.

You had managed to calm down a bit at that point, opening the door a bit hesitantly. His heart shattered when he saw you like that, immediately hugging you and closing the door behind him.

“What’s wrong? What happened? How can I help?” He asked as he held you close, his scent filled your nostrils and eased your nerves a little bit. You could hear his heartbeat. Why was it so fast? Was was this so scary?

“I want you to be honest with me.” You said against his chest, pulling away shortly after so you could look at his face. “Are you… God this sounds so crazy, I promise I’m not crazy! Are you Spider-Man?”

The words spilled out and it suddenly became silent. Peter let go of you, hands going through his hair as he nervously paced around. He didn’t really manage to put a much of an outfit, he was in sweatpants and a loose white T-shirt that moved up with the motion of his hands and exposed his lower stomach. He seemed like he was having a crisis, walking around, squatting down. He looked very nervous and overwhelmed. Was he the one having a panic attack now? The boy stared at the floor, his hair was all messed up, remaining squat down as he exhaled heavily.

“How… did you find out?” He asked coldly, not looking at you.

***

Iamfriendswithspidey: Did you talk to Peter?

The messaged popped up on your screen as you were in the middle of a fight with Peter. You both looked at the phone that was on the couch, the screen showing 3:45 am. Shit, you had been arguing for more than an hour now. The nervous pacing continued for a while from both of you, but the tiredness and the emotional drain was so bad it made you sit down, him on the counter and you on the backrest of the couch, looking at him.

"What did you tell him?" Peter asked, feeling defeated already

"Nothing at all, he asked me to check up on you because you were acting weird and distant. Never got to the point of figuting out what was wrong with you." You replied, voice filled with anger and sadness. The text message was followed by a call, with both of you staing at the screen as it rang, so you could gather your thoughts.

"So..." You broke the silence after Ned gave up "We're set on how you became Spider-man... Care to explain everything else?" You crossed your hands in front of your chest.

"I-" he started, looking down at his lap almost like he was building up the courage. "Well... you see... I don't even know how to explain something I don't understand myself"

"You can try, becuase I'm dying to know why you would do something like this"

"What did I do exactly?"

"Peter...What didn't you do?" You said in frustration, getting up and pacing around again "You would come here, spend time with me for a month straight, every fucking day. You would make me laugh and comfort me and get to know me and all of that bullshit and then leave like it meant nothing! Did it really mean nothing to you?''

"Of course it meant something!'' he jumped off the counter catching up to you to grab your arm "I wouldn't have done any of this if you meant less. I overstepped all of my boundries to be here with you.''

You looked at him, tears starting to stream down your face.

"So you could abandon me? Like you didn't care? Like I was nothing? I spent weeks crying, trying to figure out what I did wrong to push you away" You pulled away from his grip, breaking down in front of him. You could see his emotions getting the better of him as well, his breathing rapid and sharp, his fist clenching.

"You thought it was easy for me too?" He asked, anger bubbling up in his chest. "To have so many people dependent on you? To be constantly scared that the people you care most about could end up hurt because of you?"

"So you thought disappearing on them would make it all better?"

"No, not at all" He let out a sigh, looking down at his lap again. "It just got so complicated, the more I came over, the closer we got and then I just-" He looked back up, looking at your teary eyes "I couldn't help it, I really couldn't, we clicked so well and it was so easy with you and I... I just fell for you, so hard, I was terrified, I couldn't tell you as Spider-Man, I couldn't tell you I was Spider-Man... I had to find some other solution"

"You know what the worst part about this is" you said between sobs "It's that I feel in love with you too''.

He pulled you in after that, hugging you tightly. You tried pushing him but he was much stronger. You cried into his chest, gripping his shirt. He didn't say anything, hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he rested his chin on top of your head.

"Stop" you begged him "Please stop doing this, now that I know it's you, it hurts even worse"

"Why?" He asked, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible

"Because you're dating someone else" you said, helplessly hitting his chest with your fist, trying to make him let go. "Please let me go, I can't do this"

"I'm not letting you go" He shook his head, kissing your forehead "I'm never letting you go, I'm sorry for everything, if I were more of a man, none of this would have happened''

You continued helplessly hitting him, crying in his arms. He hugged you tighter, crying into your hair.

"I would understand if you never want to see me again" he whispered.

"I don't hate you, Peter'' you whispered back. "I just need some time to process all of this"

#marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #spiderman imagine #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman x y/n #spiderman #fanfiction #creative writing #writing #peter perker imagine #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x you #peter parker #imagine

54 notes · View notes