#im crying again now why am i always crying i hate being like this
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big shoutout to my dad, who just walked into my room, said my most recent piece of art looked like a clown, said i put too much stuff all over my art, and told me i should just get good at non-digital mediums because they don't look garish. loved your "honest feedback"
#he also said i shouldn't do digital art cause “it's associated with ai” BITCH WHAT DO YOU MEAN#god i had worked so long on the recent piece and i loved it and he was just like “too much starry effects she looks like a clown”#im crying again now why am i always crying i hate being like this
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha
#IM BAKCIJ THE FUCKIGN BUIDLIGN .AGAIN. AUSUSUXHEHWHGLHKF#im grateful i have an internship for this summer with the way the job market is like currently.#im grateful that i have the opportunity to lessen the burden on my parents shoulders. im grateful that this job can pay rent and groceries#and tuition for a few terms im grateful i get to gain experience while still in school that will hekp me in the future#IM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THIS!!!!! BUT STILL I FUCLING HATE EVERYTHJGN#i hate being unable to eat anything ir sleep at night bc all i can think about is shit i have work tomorrow i have to email this guy and#finish these tasks and impress my manager and be approachable and enthusiastic and eager to learn and not make any mistakes#and not fail anything bc im getting graded on this its alwags grades its always the fucking grades#isnt it. it was the grades that had me crying on walks home from school when i was 9 and it was grades that made me waste away 9th grade#it was grades that made me unable to stomach anything during weeks with tests and it was and is still grades that#dictate every single fucking part of my life#and even tho the ppl who used to yell at me for getting a B in math in 5th grade are no longer yelling at me for getting 60s in linear algeb#ra and stats and calculus and cs#haha.ha when ur university is famous for its.. horribly high suicdie rates#i find that the yelling comes from me now. ive replaced the adults who would sit beside me at the dinner table#yelling bc yea guess what 8 year old me didnt understand division at first#god i hate this school so much. i hate what im studying im gratefula nd am so privileged to be ahle to further my educarion and receive#all these experiences mot everyone can have but god everytime i return to the city where the school is#i feel like throwing up and sobbing and just never ipening my eyes again#haha yea. i hope i csn get a job to support myself in the future#i hope i can still have time for hobbies#why si everyone at school so good at everything#ive met more people who have passed their rcm 10 and arct exams for piano than those who havent#i have classes with people who have already published research papers with professors in the states#my classmates can breeze through a cs assignment while still playing fir varisty teams. working out everyday. goijg ti parties.#eating and cooking balsnced meals each week. having a social life..the whole combo#meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day#how do i become like them#why was this about work anxiety at first and why is it about the eternal imposter syndrome and lack of self confidence#i just want money man... i dont give a shit about snything anymore
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y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.
#i was thinking abt it earlier#but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why#actually i do kinda know why.#i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me#earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject#too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i#was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often#especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d#everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just#cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even#consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural#but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other#peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something#something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they#move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less#sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can#always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response#and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone#it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything#not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i#feel like im not actually being heard or listened to#and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you'#or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore#god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it#for everyone else all the time#is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say#this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice#god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover#and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel#like they actually like me
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oh no oh fuck what happened to tumblr is my computer just fucking up or did the site actually change pleasetellmemycomputerfuckedupi'msostressedrightnowihatethis
#now there have been two (2) minor to others but major to my autistic ass changes today#one is that genshin impact fucking changed their party setup layout and i very much despise the new one i loved the old one it was perfect#and so neat and had everything you needed and then they CHANGED IT and i feel like crying everytime im reminded#because that fucking shit is my comfort game i love it so much and then they had to go and make it changed and new and uncertain#the autism goblin freaked out so hard earlier but fontaine soothed it a little because yay !! new place to explore !! i love exploring !!#key word: a little#AND NOW THIS SHIT WITH THE HELLSITE AGAIN#ADMINS#PLEASE#STOP CHANGING SHIT#YOU'RE STRESSING THE FUCK OUT OF THE AUTISM GOBLINS#i look at the layout and i just feel like crying and rocking back and forth so hard ohmygod its actual real pain im not even exaggerating#its like someone's showing me a recording of something so viscerally wrong in every conceivable way that my eyes feel as if they're being#stabbed and i break out into a cold sweat and i'm in actual fucking pain right now why is being autistic so fucking PAINFUL always#give it a week of slowly introducing it to my brain like how you introduce a new cat to your other cats and i'll get used to it#but that doesn't matter right now i would rather step on legos for a minute straight i hate it so much i am in so much fucking mental pain#hjgshgdsuygdsyudghjdgsjdfgdsgdjdf#autism#neurodivergent#actually autistic#asd#its the neurodivergency#actuallyautistic#neurodivergencies#actually adhd#being autistic#adhd#genshin impact#tumblr staff#bad staffelstein
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#whew you know when you've been Going for a while and then you get a break and you're still tired but you're also so so jittery#S WHERE IM AT OHHH MY GOD#luxury problem and it's totally fine but i am crawling up the walls my friends#also update time ig!! took my family to the autism group meeting thing on tuesday bc it was a meeting esp for that#and they kept throwing me glances throughout the info part like lol it's you JDFHJDFH it was v interesting#bc throughout it all it's like... here i have info about autism and here i have my 25 years lived experience without thinking i had autism#and since i wasn't diagnosed as a kid i wasn't as ~obvious about it and i find it hard to reconcile examples with myself if they#don't fit 100% (it's . the autism) so anyways it was v helpful!!!#and my mum was like ah yeah i always had moments where i thought so?? but then it didn't fit the cold white boy stereotype bc i#am empathetic and i have humour etc so she never mentioned it to me bc it's a big thing etc and tbf i wasn't ~ready pre-this year#but now it's like... ah yes i was always upset on holidays and they never got why (the change in Everything)... i was picky with food#and with new shoes and i HATED shopping and it overwhelmed me so much (still does)#i would ask my mum what tf i was feeling and why i was crying and i would analyse social interactions#and i'd have obsessions with media and horses etc. was big know-it-all. was so slow with some subjects at school#like yknow when you had to copy letters 80 times? that'd take me ages and i'd get a fail bc i was being so precise#anyways. enough signs methinks dfjhdjh so now im just trying to see where stimming & eyecontact come in?#i never noticed a problem with eyecontact but im trying to let myself not do it and it's kinda nice?? but idk#and stimming idk i used to suck my thumb for a long time but?? i wanna try things but whew internalised ableism etc#so see then im like so ARE YOU ACTUALLY-- but anyways it seems i am#and my mum made me realise that'd. explain why i suddenly developed depression around age 11 and never got out of it again#so lots of Thinking!!! and wanting to shelve things like ok great figured it out NOW WHAT but noooo#also stupid to do this on tumblr and not rly talk about it with irl friends but what do you say like#hello im autistic? yeah it surprised me too. no i can't really explain how it works for me. no that's not how the spectrum works#so here we are yes#<3
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when my friend is at work so i cant cry in call with him !
#ngl i genuinely cant find the energy to cry . im just making issues again man its so fucking stupid . i should just kill myself#he doesnt love me and he never will and hes fucking busy playing games with other people because im constantly crying and upset#and its like he doesnt care !!!!!! who do i even talk to anymore bc this is . awful#im trying so hard . i really am but fuck when everything is going through my mind its just#i just want to apologise forever but i dont know how to show that im actually sorry#like at least my ex was straight forward with how to apologise ?? it was just 'send me photos of your cuts and i know youre sorry'#but obviously i cant do that now LMAO#maybe its better if i just message out my thoughts and send them to him but its also like . its so obvious you dont want to talk to me#me : *nearly crying and about to try and explain why im going to kms* him : awful timing but i need to leave haha i will call you back ???#like im sorry but dont even bother calling me back :)#ive been clean for 8 days . its so pathetic#i dont want to hurt myself but i literally have nothing else to help me#i dont want to be a burden im trying rlly hard to just stop how i feel and im trying to be a perfect girlfriend who is only happy#but i just cant . it is so hard when all im thinking abt is how he hates me and how i mean nothing and how im always going to be worthless#i unironically miss when it was him being upset and talking to me abt it because i wasnt the one being emotional and vulnerable#like i was just there to help and make him feel better lol#i think ill be better after i cut bc thats what happened last time so#whatever we ball#jamie.txt
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HOW YOU GET THE GIRL ★ FC43
PAIRING ✦ franco colapinto x fem!sargeant!reader
SUMMARY ✦ with your brother's seat being taken by your admirer of the past year, you try your best to stay clear, but it's hard when franco is trying so goddamn hard to get your attention [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ✦ cursing, very minor hate comments
REQUESTED ✦ here!
NOTES ✦ i am NOT fluent in italian or spanish so please correct me if i've messed up on either of them! i count this as the best of both worlds because i love having franco on the grid but i'm missing my goat logan. the faceclaim i've used is marissa long but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)
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liked by logansargeant, alex_albon, and 110,331 others
tagged logansargeant
yourusername logie, my bestest friend and the best older brother i could ever ask for. i am so so SO proud of you and the journey you have had during your formula one seasons. so many memories have been made, and i know that i will never ever forget the times we spent in the williams paddock, just having fun together (& bullying alex, obviously). the williams social media page won't be the same without me posting slips of you. trust me when i say this isn't the end, but simply the beginning. lots of love always and forever, y/n 💗
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logansargeant ❤️
liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 94,522 others
yourusername someone hit me up with an italian man please, i love this country
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user4 oh she's taking it
user5 mother as perrrr
user6 the sargeant genetics are LETHALLL
user7 please someone tell me why is she in italy if her brother doesn't drive for williams anymore?
user8 she's the williams social media manager!! she started in the same year as logan x
logansargeant baby sis ❤️
yourusername love you sm 💗
francolapinto did you know i'm actually half italian?
francolapinto sei molto bella🙏🙏 (you are very pretty)
user9 second year running and he's after y/n AGAIN IM CRYING
user10 after taking her brother's seat too PLEASEEE he has guts i have to give it to him
user11 FRANCO'S COMMENT I'M DYINGGGG
user12 and the way she's ignoring it too oh my days 😭 it's been a year and he's still on this
imessages ( y/n )
liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 92,801 others
yourusername week off 🍏
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user16 farm girl???
user17 where is she 😭😭
yourusername my best friend's farm 💗
user18 multi-talented girl fr
user19 she looks like she BELONGS fr
user20 she def doesn't want to go back to the old 9-5
yourusername oh def not
yourbsf my angel 🪽🤍
yourusername best time w you alwaysss 💗
francolapinto never wanted to be a goat so badly
user21 I AM PISSING MYSELF
user22 HE IS SO BLATANT AT THIS POINTTTT
user23 @/yourusername PLEASE WE NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ON FRANCO'S COMMENTS
user24 she def won't answer but it's still so fucking funny i can't
liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 97,210 others
yourusername most beautiful place 💗
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user28 beautyyyy
user29 please y/n we need to see your pinterest RIGHT NOW the vibes are everything
user30 okay but...you & franco??
user31 what about letting people have some privacy, hm?
user32 oh wowwww
francolapinto not as beautiful as you 😉❤️
yourusername 🤣🤣
user33 FRANCO YOU DID IT!!!
user34 watch as franco puts y/n noticed x1 in his bio now
user35 THE WAY HE ACTUALLY DID IT. GIRL...
user34 I AM CREASING I CANNOT
lilymhe baby girl 😍
yourusername my lilypad i love you to bits!!
logansargeant are you sure you and that lion aren't twins
yourusername i'm thinking we were separated at birth??
liked by francolapinto, alex_albon, and 699,303 others
tagged francolapinto
williamsracing and just like that, mr colapinto is a point scorer in formula one, in his second ever race!! congratulations franco, take a bow 👏💗
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user38 CONGRATULATIONS FRANCOOO!!
user39 big question is...which admin posted this?
user40 one MILLION percent y/n. no doubt about it.
user41 you can tell y/n posted this bc of her signature pink heart HAHA
user42 i just know somewhere franco is kicking his feet and giggling over y/n telling him to take a bow for his performance
user43 oh franco colapinto you have won me over
user44 seeing this and lowkey feeling so sad for logan
user45 no but imagine how y/n must feel?? her brother just leaving and having to post this, she must hate franco right about now
user46 honestly, judging by the post race interview, i think y/n is fine with franco scoring points, tbh!
yourusername 👏👏💗
francolapinto hearts ❤️
user47 I AM SOBBING THIS IS TOO CUTE??
imessages ( franco )
imessages ( y/n )
liked by logansargeant, francolapinto, and 101,989others
yourusername 🦢🦢
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user48 IS MISS Y/N OUT ON A DATE???
user49 facecard could kill.
user50 Y/N ON A DATE WHO CHEERED
user51 someone check up on franco like right now.
user52 either franco is the guy in the pictures and that's why he's not commenting, or he's entered a depressive state
user53 knowing his dramatic ass it could be either
alex_albon mystery man 👀🤑
yourusername shhhh albon
logansargeant i'll fight him if he hurts you 😁
yourusername love you too logie 🧸
imessages ( y/n )
liked by francolapinto, logansargeant, and 106,312 others
tagged francolapinto
yourusername city break 🇦🇷
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user54 FRANCO CAMEO FRANCO CAMEO THIS IS NOTTTT A DRILL
user55 I AM SCREAMING
user56 alexa play how you get the girl by taylor swift
user57 she's in his hometown...so this serious stuff now
user58 Y/N I LOVE YOU FOR THIS
francolapinto 😁❤️❤️
yourusername 💗💗
logansargeant willing to fly out to collect you if i have to 🫡
yourusername i promise you i'm fine 💗
liked by alex_albon, yourusername, and 1,112,091 others
tagged yourusername
francolapinto 1 AÑO DESPUÉS… ¡¡TENGO A LA CHICA!! ¡¡VAMOS!! la persona más hermosa por dentro y por fuera, con el corazón más grande que jamás haya existido. estoy tan feliz en este momento que las palabras no pueden explicarlo. te amo te amo te amo ❤️ (1 YEAR LATER… I GOT THE GIRL!! COME ON!! the most beautiful person inside and out, with the biggest heart that ever lived. i am so happy right now that words cannot explain it. i love you i love you i love you ❤️)
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user59 original y/n franco fans RISE
user60 WE ARE THE REAL WINNERS!!
user61 oh he is in love for real
user62 need someone to love me how he loves y/n
user63 their love is so so special
user64 okay but how's logan feeling about all this...? must be so awkward...
user65 judging by his comment...i think he's doing absolutely fine 🤣
logansargeant hurt her and i'm at your doorstep. 😊
francolapinto will never be a problem 🫡
yourusername you're the cutest ever
yourusername FRANCO 🤣🤣
francolapinto let me share my love for you, no?
yourusername i wanna kiss you so bad rn
logansargeant keep it pg-13 please.
yourusername logan.
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TAGS ✦ @shepgurl ; @blushmimi ; @nyxx-knight ; @fall-bambi ; @suns3treading ; @wowzees ; @d3kstar ; @poppysrin ; @ailooosworld ; @joalslibrary ; @dejavuontrack ; @dripostsstuff ; @kaylassturniolo
#f1#f1 x reader#f1 smau#formula one x reader#formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 imagines#requests#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x you#williams racing#mclqren
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end of beginning | carlos sainz
face claim: none ᡣ𐭩
requests: here !
tags: angst, break up (rebeccarlos ily pls this is just for the story)
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
september 2023
👤 carlossainz, charles_leclerc liked by carlossainz, chares_leclerc and 70,385 others
y/nstagram boyfie won another race but looking at the second pic, i may be the real winner ❤️
carlossainz princesa, contigo a mi lado, siempre soy el ganador (princess, with you by my side, i'll always be a winner) ↳ y/nstagram stop you'll make me blush 🤭
charles_leclerc stop being gross and in love on my feed ↳ y/nstagram carlossainz should we kiss in front of him again xx ↳ carlossainz sin duda ❤️ (definitely) ↳ charles_leclerc i hate it here
user1 i want to be y/n when i grow up (i am 2 years older than her) ↳ y/nstagram then it should be i wanna be user1 when i grow up 😘 also where is your top from in your pfp, i love it!! ↳ user1 ??? im in love with you ??? it's from this little boutique near my house! i can send you one!!! ↳ y/nstagram omg i will send you the money!! 🫶
user2 this is why we stan y/n, a true girls girl ❤️ ♥️ y/nstagram
francisca.cgomes even the back of you is gorgeous ↳ y/nstagram kiss me. ↳ francisca.cgomes come here 😘 ↳ pierregasly i miss when my girlfriend was only My girlfriend ↳ y/nstagram not my fault she upgraded x ↳ pierregasly i will take carlos out on the first corner don't try me ↳ carlossainz you'll have to catch me first hombre
january 2024
liked by kellypiquet, francisca.cgomes and 39,495 others
y/nstagram bed rotting but make it 🎀 aesthetic 🎀
user1 she still watches f1 y/nsainzers there's hope ↳ user2 she hasn't been to a race in months :((( hope is dwindling
user3 the bear i'm gonna scream, cry AND throw up ↳ user4 what's the significance of the bear?? i'm new to f1 :) ↳ user3 carlos got y/n the bear when he joined f1 so she would have something to remember him by when he went away on race weekends ↳ user4 and she still has it?? it must have been like 10 years ago?? ↳ user3 roughly around that!! 2015 if i'm correct...
kellypiquet i see the red bull on your screen 😉 would love to have you back with me in the paddock, P misses her bestie ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram P saw me last week when i spoilt her rotten in the mall but i may take you up on that offer ❤️
user2 y/n in the red bull garages??? y/nsainzers i fear we've lost her... ↳ user1 carlos may be moving to red bull don't give up hope best friend!
march 2024
liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 924,495 others
carlossainz P1 in Australia :) thank you for the well wishes guys, maybe my appendix was what was holding me back 😉🎉
landonorris booking the surgery rn ↳ carlossainz you still wouldn't win muppet ↳ landonorris wow carlos... low blow
user1 the last pic... pls say it's y/n PLEASEEEEEEEEEE acc on my knees rn ↳ user2 i'm down there with you best friend
iamrebeccad congrats mister!! next up: the world championship ♥️ carlossainz
user3 ^^ um guys ↳ user2 don't ↳ user1 don't.
charles_leclerc i'll get you next time... ↳ carlossainz ok charlie, i believe you
scuderiaferrari forza carlos! congrats on P1, not even surgery could keep you down 💪 ↳ user5 you bitches don't deserve to celebrate
maxverstappen1 strong fight there mr sainz! looking forward to japan where i'll be back on top! ↳ carlossainz fuck you This comment has been deleted
user3 UM GUYS??????? ↳ user2 do not look at f1wagupdates i'm being so serious ↳ user1 well now i have to FUCK
liked by user8, user9 and 93,283 others
f1wagupdates Carlos Sainz seen kissing Scottish model Rebecca Donaldson following his Australia GP win. He was previously linked to long time girlfriend Y/N L/N but the pair haven't been seen together since December last year. We guess this marks the end of their decade long relationship.
user2 carlos sainz i'm in your walls.
user1 man, fuck carlos sainz
user3 3 months ?? if that ?? glad his appendix burst ↳ user2 reports (twitter) are saying R + C were first seen together in January... ↳ user3 the c*rlos s*inz voodoo doll is being made as we speak.
user4 all men do is lie. what happened to "until the end of time"... i don't believe in love anymore
user5 i feel so bad for rebecca, y/n's so loved by the paddock and the fans ↳ user3 obvs no hate to rebecca, she's gorgeous and i'm sure she's lovely, this is solely carlos hate ♥️ user1, user2 and 19,349 others
user6 bro fumbled the bag with y/n man
👤 kellypiquet, maxverstappen1, landonorris, redbullracing liked by landonorris, kellypiquet and 58,395 others
y/nstagram different point of view 💙
redbullracing pleasure to have you back in the paddock y/n! see you in japan? 👀 ↳ y/nstagram i'll be there best friends (pls stock up on coconut red bulls) 🫶 ↳ redbullracing 🫡
kellypiquet the last pic?? i love you so much?? ↳ y/nstagram y'all are so cute i couldn't stop myself 🤭
maxverstappen1 thanks for coming y/n! i've missed seeing you around ↳ y/nstagram missed you too maxie! P says she wants me to come to every race so you may be stuck with me this year! ↳ maxverstappen1 just please don't steal my girlfriend ↳ y/nstagram she may be your girlfriend but she's My wife ♥️ kellypiquet
francisca.cgomes why didn't you tell me you were coming!! i would have ditched pierre :(( ↳ pierregasly everyday i wake up ↳ y/nstagram unfortunately ↳ pierregasly bro...
landonorris you got the champagne shot in action! missed seeing you around bug! ↳ y/nstagram had to see it with my own two eyes! congrats on the podium lan, you so deserve it ❤️ ↳ landonorris let's get dinner tomorrow, it's been too long ↳ user1 mr norizz shooting his shot on main damn ↳ landonorris 🤷♂️
carmenmmundt all the girls are getting together for dinner and drinks, you coming babe? ↳ y/nstagram i'm having dinner with kelly, max and P but i'll join for drinks after ❤️
user2 goodbye goodbye y/nsainzer's you were brighter than the whole sky ↳ user3 y/n deserves the world, if That Man couldn't give it to her that's on him.
june 2024
👤 kellypiquet, carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 58,029 others
y/nstagram healing ❤️
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#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz social media au#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz x you
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Alastor and married reader but instead of the whole other thing, he kills her husband and is the shoulder for her to cry on (cliche, I know) not wanting her to hate him. And you know- smut somewhere along the way
The happiest day of your life was your wedding day.
The thought of living your days in matrimonial bliss with the man of your dreams had always been your future plans.
Until it wasn���t….
Your dreams of waking up beside your soulmate, having a big family, and living out your days in love were all crushed the day you were told to come to the coroner.
To identify your husband.
You stared at the casket as the pastor read the sermon and it was lowered into the dirt.
You felt nothing.
Numb.
The heavens must of felt your sadness as there was an endless pour.
Many family members and friends gave their condolences but you didn’t even acknowledge them.
How?
Why?
what had your husband done so terribly that someone would…
The cold of the rain disappeared as a hand grasped your shoulder, pulling your soaked body into theirs “You’ll catch a chill standing like that dear”
Alastor.
He held an umbrella over the two of you as you watch the diggers throw dirt onto the coffin.
You felt hot tears swell in your eyes and your body shook as sobs ran through you. You turned to Alastor, eyes glassy and lip wobbling and you sniffed
“I-I just…why? This-this…it wasnt suppose to be like this” you sobbed as Alastor gathered you in his arms and ran a soothing hand on your back.
He patted your back, letting you cry in his shoulder as he hummed “there there dear, itll be all right. Cry it out doll”
You curled into him as he held you, a hand rubbing your shoulder and back in comfort, whispering gentle words to try and ease your pain.
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You and Alastor grew up together.
He was practically your best friend.
Hes seen you at your happiest and now at your saddest.
He was always your confidant and rock….until you met your husband.
You stopped coming down to the radio station.
You wanted to include him in on outings.
You wanted the two important men in your life to get along…
To share
Alastor would be damned if he gave you up.
But for you, he bared it.
He watched you marry the man you loved.
And he might could have lived happy knowing you were happy, but there was something inside him that just wouldnt go away about you withdrawing your affections from him and redirect them to another man.
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You sighed as you looked around the house. Your husband had just bought it and it was suppose to be a surprise after your wedding.
But now it just served as a reminder of what will never be.
“You should stay cher, the house is in your name” Alastor chirped, roaming around.
“I just dont feel right being here when…its just no longer what I thought it would be” you say glaring at a wedding portrait. Alastor smirked, rounding from the kitchen, wrapping his arms around you “Then redecorate! Add a bit of color. Make use of this lovely home”
You thought about it, you would hate to resell it. You didnt want to go back home to live with your parents.
You sighed again.
“Then stay here with me…at least until” Alastor smiled, a soft chuckle escaping his lips.
“You think i was gonna leave? Oh darling im hurt you even thought of me like that”
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Alastor sat on top the man as he smiled cruelly down at him.
“She was never meant to be your wife.” he squeezed the man’s neck seething.
“Years. I spent years courting her. She might be a bit slow, but all I needed was a nudge. And then here you come. Bright and opinionated, always the knight in shining armor” The man gasped as Alastor’s grip tightened.
“Shes like a Doe, Shes cautious at first, feed her and be kind and shell come to you willingly. But I am the Hunter. I have calculated where and how my Doe reacts. I didnt need you messing up my plans.” the man stuttered in a choke
“Rest assure old chum, she makes a good wife” Alastor growled.
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You felt bad that Alastor spent most of his time over. You had tried to encourage and reassure him that you felt better and that he should go home, but the man was stubborn and knew you well enough to decline.
”Al people will start to talk if you’re constantly here. I’m a widow now, you’ll be the talk of town if you linger.”
Alastor shrugged “when have i ever cared about what others think and besides…when have you known me to just let you wallow in sorrow.”
Never. Alastor always found a way to make you smile even when you were sad.
You admit that you have enjoyed having Alastor around these last few weeks.
Hes helped you decorate the house, find joy again in life, and even staying with you.
You didn’t want to admit it, but what affections you already had for the man, had seemed to grow. You put it off as just a way that you were trying to cope from the loss of your husband.
But that wasn’t the case….
Because before your husband….it was Alastor.
But you had just chalked it up to silly childhood emotions.
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The rain poured as the wind and thunder whipped around outside.
You and Alastor were cuddled on the couch looking through old photos.
You giggled as you flipped through the pages, reminiscing about your youth.
”lord what were we thinking….our mamas had a fit” you laughed shaking your head, Alastor chuckled “I think your mud pies improved”
You snort “Its the only thing I can actually cook”
The fire crackled as the storm raged outside and you leaned your head against his shoulder.
”you know…I can’t thank you enough.” You whispered, causing the man to flick his eyes to you curious
”For what my dear?”
You fiddle with the crochet blanket, burying your face in the crook of his neck, groaning in embarrassment “for always being there for me. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there at the funeral…You’re really my saving grace Al”
Alastor’s lips curled into a smile, nuzzling into your hair, a deep rumble rakes his chest as lanky arms bound around you.
”Oh ma cherie don’t say such things. We’ve known each other for years if anything you’re my saving grace.”
You pulled back a bit to give him a funny look, to make a snarky remark but the way Alastor was looking at you made your throat closeup.
Such affection and adoration in those deep eyes.
Your heart was pounding in your chest.
You ducked your head “Yourejust saying that” you mumbled.
Soft lips grazed your forehead. “I would never lie to you dear”
Maybe it was because it was a storm outside and you were cozy up by the fire
Maybe it was Alastor spending most of his time here.
Maybe it was his consideration for you, the flowers he got you , his cooking (that was AMAZING), the times he sang to you or danced to whatever the radio played.
Whatever it was, you didn’t realized that he had leaned towards you until you felt his lips brush yours.
Your brain was telling you that you should stop this.
This was your friend.
Your husband just died.
Your shouldn’t.
You closed your eyes and pressed your lips to his, angling your head to slot your lips together.
The kiss was slow, steady, soft…almost like he was testing the waters, unsure of how you would react.
You nipped at his lips and a surprised gasp left you as he pulled you into his lap, deepening the kiss.
That small noise must have possessed something in the man as the once gentle kiss turn to something carnal.
Your arms were loops around his neck and your finger s were buried in his hair as he attempted to devour you.
His lips left your lips to trail to your neck, littering it in bites and suckling.
A soft moan escaped your throat “A-Al”
He pulled back, eyes blown and low.
”Tell Me you don’t want this and ill stop”
He peppered soft kisses along the column of your neck
”Tell me you don’t want me as much as I want you and ill pretend this didn’t happened”
is that what you wanted?
Your heart was pounding.
You cupped his face and gave him a soft smile, before pressing a soft kiss to his nose
”We shouldn’t…”
His hands slipped under your shirt, fingers dancing on your skin
”yea”
You twirled his hair
”But don’t please don’t stop”
That was all he needed to hear….
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Your shadows danced across the walls, the fire casting a glow on your bodies as you rode his cock.
”F-fuck!”you whined as pleasure ripped through your body.
Alastor’s hands were gripping your ass as you bounced on top of him.
He swirled his tongue around a perk nipple, groaning as your gummy walls gripped him.
”you feel so good” he mumbled, teething the mound, causing you to moan.
You threw your head back, a rugged gasp leaving you.
Alastor loved the noises you made, pushing his hips up to meet yours as if to carve his cock into your cunt.
”such a pretty sight you are my dear, if only I could engrave you into my memory”
Your thighs were burning as you chased your release
”I’m-oh! Fuck fuck Al!”
He slipped a hand between you, thumb circling your swollen clit
”You gonna cum? Cmon baby cum on my cock, let me paint those pretty walls of yours white”
You whined and with a silent cry, you cummed, body shaking as you creamed around him.
Hot sparks ran through you as he toyed your clit, riding out your orgasm as you grind your hips against him.
With a sigh, you slumped against him panting as he planted his feet to pound into you until he came with a choked grunt, cock twitching as he filled you with his cum.
You pressed kisses along his clamming skin, humming as you came down from your high.
Thee two of you sat there, breathless, until Alastor intertwined one of your hands and brought it to his lips.
”Is it a bad time to propose?”
You laughed
#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel fanfiction#jyoongim#alastor x reader#alastor x y/n#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#alastor smut
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I'm wonderinggggg....could you write something where Suguru breaks up with his s/o and realises it was a mistake? Like how do you think he would try to win her over again?
“I wish you roses while you can still smell them”
ex boyfriend! suguru x reader
✩ listened to ‘I wish you roses’ by miss kali uchis while writing this :) pt 2?? hehehe , oh and if it wasn’t obvious. ANGST ALERT!✩
masterlist
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ੈ✩‧·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· *ੈ✩‧₊˚
You always swore ever since you were a teenager that you would never let a man make you cry. You would never sit and cry in front of a man. You practically cursed the idea of that ever happening to you. Images of your mother crying because of your father made their way into your head. How she loved him so much, and yet he still left. You remembered wondering how could a love like this turn so sour? Why are you bared the responsibility of witnessing a dying love?
Nothing could have prepared you for happiness to be given to you, and have it snatched from your fingers before you had a say.
Because truth be told, the way Suguru broke up with you, was the day clouds stormed the sky. Your shared room that he no longer slept in felt colder and darker. You had closed your eyes that night extra tight, gripping the pillow that he slept on. Wondering if you wanted to burn it to a crisp
Or maybe hold it close to your nose so the scent of him never goes away.
“Im sorry Y/N…I just…I don’t know if I feel the same way anymore”
Heartache wasn’t even the word for it. 4 years down the drain. With a stupid explanation that made no sense. The man that claimed to love you so much for the last four fucking years couldn’t even give you a decent reason? You were left to wonder if it was you.
4 years ago you would’ve punched yourself for even thinking that. Why is it that in the movies or book you’ve read the woman always thinks it’s their fault?
But the feeling isn’t realized until it happens to you. Insecurities, questions without answers. You swore you hated Suguru Getou. You hated him for leaving little things around your previously shared apartment that reminded you of him. His Marlboro red pack cigarettes, his dumb cologne lingered in the air, and you didn’t know if it scared you or relieved you when you no longer could smell it from how long it had been.
Suguru Getou was the first man to ever make you feel like you were less than. Maybe it wasn’t on purpose. Maybe it was the way he softly spoke to you even when he was breaking your heart. Holding his favorite snacks in a connivence store plastic bag. The contents of it dropping (dramatic yes, but true).
So what exactly do you do when said ex boyfriend shows up at your front door at 2 am on a Friday night? Your silk nightgown slipping past your shoulders. The slight breeze making you blink even more tiredly. Wanting to crawl back to bed and sleep. It’s been a lot of sleepless nights due to work. It wasn’t easy being a nail tech, you are usually booked months in advanced. So that means your days are always planned around around that. At least on the weekdays.
“Suguru?” You rub the sleep out of your eyes. Your door had been merely cracked open. You lived alone now, who knows what creep could be lurking around.
“Hey, I’m sorry…fuck I’m sorry baby I-“ Suguru’s voice sighed. Your eyes finally landed on him as you fully awoken.
He looked as good as ever. Not that you weren’t really shocked. It had only been 6 months since he broke up with you, 3 since you had last seen him. Since he came to pick up the last of his things. Which ended up in you coldly acknowledging him and retreating back to your room with a loud slam. You had made it quite clear that you wanted nothing to do with it.
He looked…tired? Which wasn’t that unusual for him after working or a long day. But 2 am on a Friday was a whole new level. His hair was held back in a hair tie. The black gauges in his ears didn’t look like the ones you had seen last. Making note to yourself that even now you could remember even the smallest details of the tall man standing in front of you.
“What are you doing here Suguru?” You snap at him. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”
Suguru offers you a weak smile. He knows he has no right to be knocking on your door.
“Im just…I don’t know” He said truthfully. Which led you to even more confusion. You didn’t want to play these games. You had been over it for 3 months now. You couldn’t wouldn’t let him ruin your progress.
You sighed, you were just tired.
“That doesn’t really help me with figuring out why you’re here…”
“I know, I know okay. I know I shouldn’t be here YN. I know I have no right to come here asking for any sort of time but I just need you to hear me out”
He doesn’t miss the sour and angry look on your face. Suguru is used to it by now, all your friends throw him the same look when they see him. It was the last look he remembers on your face. The one before that was angst and solemn. All because of him, and he has to keep reminding himself so.
“To hell with you. I’ve spent the last fucking 6 months feeling sorry for myself for a man that didn’t give a fuck about me in the end.” Even cussing him out you looked so beautiful. Your hair tied up holding your arms as the chill made its way in through t your opened door. Suguru swears- no, he knows he remembers every beauty mark, every blemish, and every birth mark on your body. Something he will probably never see again thanks to himself. Even angry you looked ethereal. Suguru would worship you given the chance again.
He wasn’t counting his luck though….
“Are you even listening to me?” You ask in disbelief. “Unbelievable, go home. You’re drunk probably” Your hand grabbed your doorknob tightly and quickly made it shut it. However a boot came to stop it. You felt anger course through your body now more than ever. Is this how it was going to be?
“Just..please”
“Is that all you can say to me? Please? Sorry? I shouldn’t be here? I told you the last time we talked that I wanted nothing to do with you, isn’t that what you wanted?” hurt crossed his features. For a moment you felt bad. But you quickly were to shrug the feeling off.
Why should you feel bad? You didn’t break his heart, you weren’t prancing around a new girlfriend four months after the breakup. You have to keep strong is what you keep reminding yourself. Over and over again. Crying for you nowhere.
Crying never made Suguru Getou come back. It never made him feel pity to you and be a man to apologize for his wrongdoings. He did you so dirty so why did it hurt seeing him so fragile?
Where was the empathy for you?
“That’s not true!” His voice boomed your quiet apartment.
“It might as well be!”
“Today’s was supposed to be our 5 year anniversary…”
You scoff. “Yeahhh I think it’s time for you to go”
“I had something I bought um, before everything” Suguru moves his left hand to move some stray pieces of hair that hung over his face. “I wanted to give it to you, it’s the least I can do. Plus, it’s something that you really wanted and I can’t…” Suguru pauses. Looking at you as if he’s studying you. Like he needs to, he knows you like the back of his hand and you were aware of that.
You look back at him. Feeling your emotions rush your body.
please don’t cry YN…don’t cry , don’t cry, don’t cry
“Listen…” You look up. Already feeling your eyes burn. God damnit.
I want to hate you Suguru Getou , damn you.
“I don’t know what kind of sick joke this is, maybe you get off to watching me cry or something. But I need you to leave me alone please.” A whimper escapes your throat. You look around, anywhere but at him. To try and at least keep some of your dignity.
“You’ve done so much to me”
Suguru shifts, his hands in his pockets. You couldn’t see but he himself was holding on to tears. He had no right to cry in front of you. Not after the way he hurt you. “Im sorry..”
“I don’t need your sorry!” You yell at him. Yanking the door open and hearing it slam against the wall. “I don’t need anything from you Suguru Getou! Not after what you did, not after the way you stand there looking at me as if you love me so damn much. Like you used to, when I know and you know that it’s all a fabricated lie! You’ve been here for five minutes and I still don’t know what motivated you to come back here after 6 fucking months, but you know what? Truth is maybe I never really knew you. So maybe I cried for no damn reason. I cried over a stranger!”
“I never lied to you, when I told you I loved you I meant that shit so don’t say I didn’t”
You laugh bitterly. “What about when you said you didn’t?”
He didn’t have an answer for that one.
“Goodnight Suguru. I hope you find whatever the fuck it is you’re looking for.” You said more gently. You don’t know why. You just hated the way he still made you feel.
Because you didn’t hate Suguru Getou.
You loved him with every fiber of your being, and yet that still wasn’t enough for him.
The door closes softly, a click and a lock follow. This time he doesn’t stop you.
This time Suguru hang his head low and lets out a shaky breath.
His hand digging into his pocket to clutch what was meant for you.
A ring.
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen suguru#getou suguru smut#geto suguru#suguru geto smut#getou x reader#geto smut#getou suguru x y/n#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jujustu kaisen fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru fic#jujutsu kaisen gojo#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk getou#jujustu kaisen x reader
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as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·ﾟmisa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (9/-)
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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.
or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous
fic: see my masterlist 🤍
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yourusername: last week ☀️ Liked by bff2, sofie.svava, albaps9 and 983 others
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marisabel_rguez I miss you. liked by yourusername ↳ bff2 And we miss you!! liked by yourusername ↳ marisabel_rguez 😊 ↳ yourusername I miss you more. ↳ marisabel_rguez ☺️
alexiaputellas Missing you. ↳ yourusername alright, copycat 🖤 ↳ alexiaputellas But I do!!! ↳ yourusername 😘
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tagged: alexiaputellas, jennihermoso marisabel_rguez: Family and friends 🤩 Liked by alexiaputellas, yourusername, sofiajakobsson and 12,499 others
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jennihermoso Puta, am I not family too? 🤪
alexiaputellas ❤️
yourusername oh my god, i love you sm 🥺 ↳ jennihermoso I know they're stealing the show for you, but that's including me, right? ↳ yourusername always 🤍
albaps9 hey now, not so fast, you have to put a ring on it first before we're family 🤣 ↳ bff1 good to know you're at least consistent with your rules ↳ albaps9 oh hey, it's our deranged cousin again
username1 FAMILY????? ↳ username2 yeah, misa, explain pls 🧐 ↳ username3 you don't think they... ↳ username4 😲
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tagged: marisabel_rguez alexiaputellas: Familia 🌼 Liked by yourusername, christenpress, bff1 and 49,987 others
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username1 extended family? 💍👀
yourusername brb making this my lockscreen wtf 😭
jennihermoso Team 😎
marisabel_rguez 😊 ↳ alexiaputellas 🤩
albaps9 never thought i'd see the day ↳ yourusername 🙄
username2 sisters in law....when? 👉👈
sefutbolfem Equipo 🇪🇸 ↳ yourusername be gone 😡 liked by 273 otheres
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Groupchat
you this idiota accidentally bought us tickets for the newest paw patrol film
bff2 This is exactly what I meant with zero braincells
bff3 You say accidentally but you can't convince me jajaja
bff1 race to the rescue! 🐶🚓
bff2 Wait, please tell me you're not still watching it...
you 😶
you wellllll, we're watching until our actual film starts and we can go into that theatre so PLS keep me company until then bc she's fully invested in the film now
bff1 ryder and his team of pups will come and save the day!! 🚓
bff2 Oh god 😂😫
bff3 At least I know my baby would have a good time being babysat by you two!
you aw i can't wait until that day 🥺
bff1 that's exactly why we're practising now! trying to sus out what's a nice movie to put on for them, ya know? so hurry up and make us PAWsome aunties
bff2 😂
bff3 You might not have to wait long! ☺️
you ○○○
bff1 ○○○
bff2 ○○○
you WHAT DO YOU MEAN
bff2 Uhhhh WHAT??
bff3 Surprise? 😅
you WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAN?!!!!!
bff2 ARE YOU SERIOUS 😭😱
bff3 Yup... baby coming soon 😊❤️
bff1 we're going to be aunties? 😢
bff3 I hope so! But please don't fight over who gets godmother rights 😇
bff2 Congratulations you two!!!!!!!! 😭😘❤️
bff1 okay, but it will be me, right?
bff1 kidding, congratulations OMGGGGGGGGG 😍😍😍😍
bff2 Can we come over tonight to properly congratulate you? ❤️
bff2 Also, is Y/N still here? 😅
bff1 she's crying and our popcorn is all over the floor 🤣
you omg i'm so happy for you two im overwhelmed om im soo sorry liuu screw this film im coming over right now wtf why did you drop a bomb like that through TEXTSS im nOT OKAY !!!!!!
bff1 heck no you aren't, i paid already 😡
bff1 ○○○
bff1 sigh she won, we're in the car.
you SEE YOU SOON. I LOVE YOU.
you SO MUCH!
you 😭💖😭💖😭💖😭💖
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yourusername: city trip with olga 👯♀️ Liked by alexiaputellas, leahwilliamsonn, leilaouahabi and 3,113 others
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alexiaputellas Have fun and keep each other safe, por favor. Miss you 😘
bff1 remember to look right-left-right when crossing the street!!! ↳ albaps9 i second that. pls don't die in london bc after brexit, it'll be hell to ship your body back to spain ↳ bff1 how much do you think she'll cost to ship or do you think we should just let them keep her ↳ marisabel_rguez She has a heart of gold, so a lot of money, but can you girls maybe not talk about her dying? 😅
bff1 yeah because the wag life must be SO exhausting 😬
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Text Messages
you hey chula, i have a question. m 💌 Yes, I'd carry you around if you were a severed head. We've gone over this. 😆 you sweet! but i can't decide on something. can i send you a photo? m 💌 Princesa, I swear to god, if it's another one of those photos that'll drive me insane, I'll choke you. you oh you i wasn't going to but i now might m 💌 Noted...but okay, send me. you black or red? m 💌 YN... I swear 👀 you black or red? 😠 you sent a photo open ▼
m 💌 Oh phew they're just dresses jajaja m 💌 Hmmm... well you know what I think of you in black, but I'd love you in both 😉 m 💌 Why? What are you up to? you picking my ballon d'or dress for next week! you but ugh misa that doesn't help me m 💌 Ohh right! 😂😅 m 💌 For the record, I'd have said red if you were talking about lingerie. you ○○○ you ○○○ you great minds think alike you sent a photo open ▼
[spicy photo attached, use your imagination, teehee]
m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 YN?!? m 💌 Ale's sat beside me in the bus, dios mio m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 Fuck, you're beautiful. Amor, I love you but please!!!! m 💌 ○○○ you 😇 m 💌 😐 you oh, so are you scared of my sister now? m 💌 No. you of how she'll react when she realises the thoughts you're having about me? you because you are having those, no? m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 I am... you well i've been having thoughts about you too. you all day now m 💌 Go on. Delivered m 💌 Querida? you ○○○ you wait sorry, i have to run! m 💌 Fuck, YN, you're a menace, you know that? 😩 Delivered m 💌 And she's gone 😅 Delivered
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Direct Messages
marisabel_rguez You went with black? yourusername yep, just for you 😊 yourusername (so you'll have something to fantasise about when the award show gets boring) marisabel_rguez You like doing this to me, don't you? yourusername i thought you did too marisabel_rguez I did, until you kept it going for an entire week in which I couldn't see you... yourusername oh! no! 😱! whatever will you do to me now! 🤭! marisabel_rguez Well, nothing, not anymore. And seeing as I'm currently on the train to Barcelona to stay with you for the weekend, that sounds like a problem for you. yourusername sorry 🥺🥺🥺🥺 marisabel_rguez Too late. yourusername fine. then maybe it will become a problem for you too because i don't think i will stop teasing. how sad for you that nothing will come out of it 💔 marisabel_rguez Always a menace, aren't you? yourusername 😇 marisabel_rguez Never change, my love.
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yourusername: my hero, my big sister. finally, after everything. it was a nervewracking night, but we had a little help from above. Liked by albaps9, alexiaputellas, marisabel_rguez and 12,389 others
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judebellingham Congrats Alexia! And lovely meeting you, YN! liked by 193 others ↳ username1 👀 ↳ username2 eh, please no? 😰
albaps9 ❤️
alexiaputellas I love you.
marisabel_rguez We screamed so loud when she won! ↳ bff3 I'm pretty sure they could have heard us in France if they tried!! ↳ yourusername 🥺 ↳ bff2 Congrats Alexiaaa! ↳ marisabel_rguez Award to the most beautiful girl in the audience went to you btw! 😁 ↳ albaps9 oh oh oh! what award did i get? ↳ yourusername the most annoying girl in the audience 🤣 liked by bff1
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alexiaputellas: All that matters 🖤 (pretend you're on here again 😔) Liked by albaps9, samanthakerr20, tobinheath and 139,319 others
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albaps9 I LOVE YOU 😊
bff2 Yaaaaay, Alexia!!!
janafernandez3 😍
bff1 still my adoptive family ↳ albaps9 ..... fine. but only bc i'm in a good mood today ↳ bff1 oh... are you? 🤭 ↳ albaps9 not like that, dipshit 🤢 ↳ username1 ✨ i don't care, i ship it ✨ ↳ albaps9 🤢 ↳ bff1 🤢
username1 😍😍😍
username2 YES ALEXIA!!!
yourusername t'estimo 🥺
username3 So well deserved 🥺
username4 finally getting the recognition!! 👏
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marisabel_rguez: Proud of you! Liked by yourusername, bff2, leilaouahabi and 19,539 others
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sofie.svava Is it as heavy as it looks? ↳ marisabel_rguez I don't know, she only let me touch it for five seconds, not hold it 😪 ↳ alexiaputellas How are you complaining when my sister is yours to hold as you please? ↳ marisabel_rguez 🤐 ↳ alexiaputellas I thought so! 😜
bff1 togeeeether, foreeeever ↳ albaps9 we're misa, and alexia ↳ yourusername ✨best friends! ✨ ↳ username1 the linda and heather meme? stop 😂 ↳ username2 im living for them taking the piss out of ale and misa 🤣
username3 we've come a looooooong waaaaay
username4 can someone edit this cute picture next to the pk pic 🤣
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↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their closed friends story
Direct Message
albaps9 I love how misa has just accepted you're all a package deal yourusername uhhh it's the other way around, if they want me, they get misa too 🥺 liked
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yourusername: house cooling party! saying goodbye in style. thank you for making me feel home on the best and worst days of my life. Liked by bff1, albaps9, marisabel_rguez and 1,893 others
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alexiaputellas It was a fun night 😁
username1 wait, leaving? to where 👀 ↳ username2 Madrid, duh ↳ username1 you think so? ↳ username2 Where else? 😅
bff3 Finally found use again for that karaoke machine again, hm? ↳ yourusername and i'm sure the neighbours loved it too!
bff1 goodbye to my second home. i won't forget you 💔 ↳ bff2 And I'm sure it won't forget you either 🤣
albaps9 HOUSE cooling party? pffff your flat's the size of a shoebox ↳ yourusername WAS. i'm upgrading 😌
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↳ 5h ago: albaps9 added to their story
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yourusername: bye barcelona 🥺 Liked by marialeonn16, bff2, janafernandez3 and 1,893 others
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marialeonn16 Bye tiny laelia, we'll miss you!
alexiaputellas ❤️☹️
bff1 i'm honestly heartbroken and it's not even sarcastic this time ↳ bff2 Sigh, me too 😕 ↳ yourusername no please don't say that. i've already stalled packing my last few things 😔 ↳ bff3 Can we come over? ↳ bff1 yes please, can we? ↳ yourusername please!!! and never forget that my door will always be open for you guys, no matter where i live 😞
username1 but hello madrid? 👀 liked by 21 others
albaps9 still in denial but oh well, little sisters have to spread their wings and leave the nest some day i suppose. going to miss being able to show up at random times for sleepovers with you. ↳ yourusername alba 😔
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Text Messages
Alexia Hey Misa. We spoke about this already, but I just want to say it one last time. I wish you and Y/N all the best together in Madrid, you're part of our family and I love you for how you love her. And I know you know this and will do this, but please take care of our laelia. Please. She's always been our entire world and I'm still a little reluctant letting her go where I cannot be there for her. But I know she has you now, which is the next best thing 😉But truly, I trust you with her. I know we've come a long way when it comes to that, but I speak the truth when I say that I am so grateful that it's you who has her heart. Don't be hard on each other when things get a little difficult in the beginning. You both haven't lived with someone for a while, so it will take some time to adjust to each other, no matter how much you love one another. But if anyone can do it, it's you two. It feels a little silly that I'm hurting so bad, but that kind of also means you're the right person for my sister. Because if you weren't, I wouldn't be hurting that hard, because I'd know she'll come back to us eventually. I'm not so sure that's the case this time. You've got her heart now, and like it or not, I don't think you'll ever get rid of her even if you wanted to jaja. She really loves you, Misa. She's never loved someone so hard. I can see that what you have is forever, even if it's only been a year. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for what you've done for her, the way you love her and did so even when she needed time. Your patience, respect and gentleness with her has earned you our love and respect. I guess I also kind of want to apologise again for what I whispered into your ear all those months ago after the PK. Because you're family. Vale? You are. Never forget.
Misa Hey. Thank you for telling me all of this, and for trusting me to take care of her. I know how close you all are and I actually feel really terrible for plucking her away from you, from her familiarities and her routines and her people. I know it was her own decision and that she really wants this, despite feeling a little torn too. If I could, I would have us live closer to you all. I know how lucky I am with her loving me so much that she wants to make a lot of sacrifices for me, but I also can't help but feel really bad about it. She's starting all over again and that can be scary, but I'm going to make sure that she feels at home and safe and loved over here, I promise you. That she'll settle in quickly and that she will never forget she's my world. That she doesn't feel like she made all those sacrifices in vain. You can trust me that I'll keep to my promise, Alexia. She's my entire world, and I have loved her for longer than I even realised myself. I know it might be a little challenging at first, but after the obstacles we went through together, I know this will only be a small bump. I'll make sure to schedule regular visits to Barcelona, even if our schedules get a little busy. I don't want to come in between the bond she has with you and her friends. I would never want to take that away from her, which is why I feel so guilty that I'm indirectly kind of doing exactly that. I actually wanted to pass up on the place we found and wait with looking for anything until after the world cup, so that she wouldn't already be by herself right away. But she insisted and I have to agree, it's the perfect place for us. I think her friends are planning to stay some weekends with her while we're in Australia, so that does ease my mind. And you're also always welcome to stay and visit us, Alexia. Actually, I'd love if you could come over for a few days during our time off after the world cup. I think she'd really appreciate it. Just keep it a surprise, for now? Anyway, I have to go back to painting the next layer in the living room so all the painting is done when she arrives, jaja! She gave me clear instructions which colours to use and where. She got really serious about it and it made me love her even more. But thank you, Alexia. You mean a lot to me. I will forever cherish you and your sister. I promise you.
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tagged: marisabel_rguez yourusername: one. Liked by marisabel_rguez, begovargas, bff3 and 1,837 others
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salmaparalluelo We KNEW it was the same person!!!! ↳ ona.battle Up top! 🙏
marisabel_rguez Time flies when you're having fun 😱 liked by yourusername ↳ yourusername it sure does! 😊
ingridengen Congratulations, sweetie!
username1 brb sending flowers to my crush if this is the end result
bff1 eyo ❤️
alexiaputellas Happy one year, you two 🌼 liked by marisabel_rguez
janafernandez3 Aaaaah 😭
username3 IS NO ONE SEEING THE TAG ON THE LAST SLIDE?>>> HELLO??? ↳ username4 HOOOOOLY FUCK ↳ username5 😱😱😱 ↳ username6 quick someone screenshot before it's gone again 😅
aitanabonmati 🎉🌼
jennihermoso Congrats, tiny ❤️
albaps9 you can make me feel single all you want today 😘
leilaouahabi 😍
patri8guijarro felicidades!!!
username1 THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED! ↳ username2 only officially, bc im pretty sure we all already knew who sent the flowers lol
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marisabel_rguez: uno. Liked by alexiaputellas, sofie.svava, bff1 and 34,635 others
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yourusername thank you for the flowers, my sweet friend 😘 ↳ marisabel_rguez The couch is yours tonight. liked by alexiaputellas
bff1 what does a card game have to do with yn ↳ yourusername i have no CLUEdo you??
albaps9 😊
username1 HARD LAUNCH?? ↳ username2 HARD LAUNCH!!!! ↳ username3 I COULD CRY AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM ↳ username4 as if we haven't seen them flirt, interact and post secretive pics of each other for over a year 🤭
username5 i love how they're so casual about it lol
username6 Aww yessss congrats 😭
sofie.svava yeeeeeeeehaaaa ❤️
claudiaapina 😍👏
alexiaputellas 😘
jennihermoso Cat's out of the bag!! 😝💖
bff2 Happy one year, lovelies!
mariona8co 😁🎉
marialeonn16 FINALLY
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a/n: choose a flower of your liking, hope it'll cheer you up! 🌼🌻🌷🌺
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angst to fluff matt sturniolo but he's stubborn about talking it out with reader so it lasts long to the point where reader gets frustrated yk? maybe this is too specific 😭 also if u do this, do it however!!
did you mean it? - m.s
pairings: matt sturniolo x reader
summary: matt accidentally says "i love you" and just pretends it never happened, leaving the reader sad and conflicted.
warning(s): angst, confession, crying? (idk help 😭)
"this is why i fell in love with you" he says and i freeze
he loves me?
i look at him, blank expression on my face
(which is definitely not how my mind is reacting)
his face turns bright red
"you-" i start but get interrupted
"i didn't mean it like that" he says and i feel my heart drop
"oh, okay.." i say, almost in a whisper
my heart just shattered into a million pieces. matt, my boyfriend, the love of my life, doesn’t mean it like that.
we continue making dinner, the awkward silence filling the room.
suddenly nick and chris come downstairs, and for some reason i'm actually thankful for it.
they start talking to us but my mind is elsewhere, maybe it's my fault. i mean, i didn't say it back fast enough which could've caused matt to second guess, or he just didn't mean it, or-
"y/n you there?" nick says and i snap out of my thoughts
"yeah! yeah im here.." i say with a dry tone and a short smile
i'm too upset to be cheerful right now.
we finish making dinner and finish eating, which is when me and matt decide to watch a movie.
throughout the film, i noticed how matt started acting like nothing happend
i hate it.
i feel like we should at least talk about it, or like.. mention it again?
maybe it wasn't that big of a deal
maybe i should let it go
or maybe, matt is being stubborn.
"matt" i say, abruptly
"yes love?" he says and i feel shivers go down my spine
do i really wanna ruin this? now?
i just am so in my head i cannot leave things like that.
"i- uh.." my words get caught in my throat and i feel like i can't get out what i wanna say
maybe it's for the better.
"i'm gonna go, home- yeah." i say
"oh, okay." he answered
i quickly grab my keys and jacket, saying bye to nick and chris, then giving matt a quick hug and immediately leaving.
fuck fuck fuck, what do i even do.
i get home and feel a sense of lonliness, emptiness fill me.
i can't help but burst into tears
i messed up
i don't know why my mind immediately went to it being my fault, i guess that's just my instinct, matt was actually the one who noticed i always assumed things were my fault, so he would always reassure me thing's weren't.
after that whole situation earlier though, things are different this time.
the thought of matt makes me cry harder.
minutes pass, then hours, and suddenly its been a day.
it's currently 10pm, the last time i heard from matt was yesterday, when i left his house actually..
i've been crying all day just watching TV
i am a mess.
suddenly i get a knock on the door
i wipe my tears, running to the bathroom to make sure my nose and eyes arent red anymore (which thankfully arent)
i look fine, i look like i've been fine.
perfect.
i run back to the door, quickly opening it, knowing i've kept whoever waiting long enough
matt.
i go speechless, like, i literally don't have the words, and even if i did, i'm not sure what i'd say.
"you're a mess" he says, breaking the silence
"i'm not a mess" i exclaim and he looks down with a laugh
"i can tell you've been crying" he adds on, confirming his 'i'm a mess' comment.
fuck, this boy knows me too well.
i open the door wider, gesturing him to come in.
"so.. why are you here.." i ask and he turns around to face me
"because i'm stubborn and you're frustrated." he replies, causing me to look at him in confusion
"i've never lied to you, until last night. i do love you y/n, i should've said it but i just- i couldn't. and then i got scared and tried to ignore it, causing me to be distant. but every second we didn't talk i was thinking about it- i was thinking about you."
all this information is too much for my slow brain to process
"so you- you meant it? you love me?" i repeat and he steps closer to me
"yes y/n, i love you" he states and i smile
he puts his hands on my waist and kisses me
we pull away, still inches away from eachother
"i love you too matt."
TAGLIST:
@strniolo @stargirlv0id @annaisabookworm
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#matt sturniolo headcannons#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew x reader#matt fanfic#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo#fluff#angst#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#the sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo imagine#madispeaks!
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Special
just a random short angsty, sort of fluffy one-shot, Severus Snape x professor!reader
i just wrote this right now because im in an angsty sort of mood, and i wanted to post something. i miss you guys, and i am now currently writing part 14 to shameless!! woo!! that break did my brain well. i feel refreshed hehe. <3 thank you for giving me some tips on how to get rid of that godforsaken writer's block, good lord. i hated it. but i'm free now, until next time ;)
this is a drabble/one-shot so it's sort of vague-ish, so yeah, if there's any mistakes or anything i'm sorry. ;(
(i also didn't put the taglist since it isn't part of the shameless fic! just in case you wondered!)
warnings: mentions of cheating
"If it makes you stop crying," Snape began hesitantly as he stared at your tear-stained face, frowning with a scrunched nose of what seemed like disgust. "We can go back to my office, and I'll make you some tea." He said, shoulders rising and falling slowly as he sighed. Watching you be so sad and cry wasn't something Snape was fond of, and it was effecting him - more than he wanted to admit. He just hoped you'd accept his request of making you some tea, then perhaps he could figure out what was making you so upset, and punish the culprits. Snape had always had a little soft-spot for you ever since you'd joined Hogwarts as a professor a year or so ago. Usually he didn't feel such a way towards younger, new professors, however, your kind and sweet aura had him unexpectedly mesmerised the moment you'd introduced yourself to him. The Potions Master wasn't exactly sure why he felt this way towards you so soon, but he knew it couldn't be good - the last time he felt something like this was back when he was a child.
You looked up, still sobbing quietly, managing to slip a confused frown upon your face. "Tea?" You repeated quietly with a sniffle, pausing for a moment to ponder on Snape's offer. "...Tea would be nice."
You hadn't expected to bump into your usually gloomy, rude colleague whilst having what you thought was going to be a private breakdown after learning that your partner had cheated on you with your best friend. Almost two years down the drain, just like that. Snape had accidentally walked in on you hunched over your desk, crying hopelessly. He was about to walk away when you'd heard a deep sigh, startling you. And here you were. Being offered tea by him.
"Let's go then." Snape said with a flat tone, looking away from your sad eyes, unable to withstand the pain that was gathering in his chest.
You were at least two or three cups of tea down when you'd finally explained everything to Snape. From the start of your relationship to the unexpected demise. It dug up old, painful memories, and you were crying again.
"What's wrong with me?" You sobbed, taking another sip of the tea that Snape had made you; hot tears soaking your cheeks and dripping into the cup. Another deep, frustrated sigh slipped from Snape again as he watched you from his desk with a sad frown upon his pale features. "I don't get it," you sniffled, gripping the handle of the tea cup with white knuckles, "did I do something wrong?"
No, you couldn't do anything wrong, Snape wanted to say. He wanted to tell you how wrong you were, and how perfectly good you truly were. But he knew you wouldn't listen, and so he kept quiet, only muttering in disagreement.
"I doubt that, Y/N." Snape mumbled, though you didn't give him much time to say anything else before you stumbled into a self-deprecating rant.
"Maybe I wasn't worth it, I mean, it's not like I'm anything... special," you laughed dryly, avoiding Snape's cold eyes, "maybe I'm just the girl that everyone dates before they find their true love. I'm the girl that they use to find the one, I don't have any good qualities, I'm a pushover, and-"
Snape inhaled sharply, "Stop it, Y/N!" He bellowed, slamming a hand down on the desk that the two of you were sat at. Instantly, you went silent, your mouth hanging open in shock as your heartbeat suddenly sped into an incredibly fast pace. You glanced up at Snape with wet and wide eyes, startled by his unusual outburst.
"Severus-"
"No, Y/N," he held up a hand, silencing you, "you're wrong about yourself. You are special." Snape sighed, moving his hand to massage his temples. You couldn't believe what was coming out of this man's mouth. "You're more than enough. Your ex was clearly a fool to do such a thing to you. In fact, I can't fathom why they would choose your friend over you." Snape said with a stern tone, clearly distressed. Your mouth still hung open as you stared at him, flabbergasted. "You're kind, sweet, considerate, and your heart is twice the size than it should be."
"I..." You uttered quietly, staring at Snape, evidently speechless. He shut his eyes momentarily, suddenly realising what he'd just said. Yet another deep sigh slipped from his heaving chest, rendering you silent.
"You..." Snape stumbled, avoiding your eyes. There was no way he could look at you right now. He'd just opened the floodgates on what he truly thought of you. He probably looks like a right blithering idiot.
The room went quiet, and the two of you sat there in what felt like a somewhat-comfortable silence, taking the moment to acknowledge what had just happened.
You stared at the man opposite you, a sudden and unusual warmth blooming in your chest. For the first time since you'd met him, you took the opportunity to truly look at him. Snape's black eyes glittered in the low, soft amber light from his candles as he reluctantly glanced up at you, pressing his lips into an awkward thin and flat line. His shoulders rose a tad, tensing as he inhaled, and he shifted his gaze to the desk again. Clearly, he was unsure on how to navigate this current moment.
A tiny smile picked at the corners of your lips as you looked at him. "Thank you." You whispered, glancing down at his splayed out hands. Taking a chance, you reached out your own hand and placed it atop of one of his, feeling it flinch. Snape's eyes darted up to yours, and he returned your smile, though it seemed a little awkward.
Snape didn't say anything to you, he only nodded gently before pulling his hand back to himself after a few long moments, clearing his throat.
"Well, since you've stopped crying," he began, sitting up straight in his chair, "we can assume I've done a good job." A little chuckle escaped you, and it caused a loose, genuine smile to erupt on Snape's face. You noticed it, but chose not to say anything, instead silently admiring how well it suited him.
"Now I know who to come to when I'm sad." You joked lightly, and as quickly as the smile had arrived on his lips, it disappeared. You laughed, feeling a tad lighter. Though the awful situation still sat within you like a dead weight, waiting to be dealt with, it felt good to smile and laugh, especially with a man you thought to be devoid of such emotions.
"I don't think-"
"Thanks, Severus." You cut him off with a bright smile, making his heart flutter. Perhaps he would wander past your classroom a little more often than before.
Masterpost
#severus snape x professor!reader#professor severus snape x reader#severus snape#pro severus snape#harry potter#professor!reader#pro severus#hp fandom#pro snape#hp#severus snape x reader#severus snape imagine#severus x reader#severus x y/n#severus#snape content#professor snape#severus snape fandom#snape#snape fandom#snapedom#professor severus snape
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chapter 14: genius
IRL, INSTAGRAM!
“hi, y/n and i’m here today with genius to explain the lyrics of my song ‘kill bill’.” you smiled at the camera.
“so, fun fact about kill bill is that it actually only took about 6 hours to produce. i, uh-” you laughed. “i saw this thing online and it made me feel some type of way, and i was like ‘i need to release what i feel right now.’ so, i took out my songbook and went crazy. i called up my friend jean, my producer, and i was crying,” you laughed again, and made a phone gesture with your hand and brought it up to your ear. “and i was like, ‘bro i just wrote these lyrics, can we make a song right now?’ and we did, in like 6 hours.”
VERSE 1
i’m still a fan even though i was salty
hate to see you with some other broad, know you happy
hate to see you happy if i’m not the one driving
“the person that this song is about is actually also an artist, and he’s actually really talented. so basically, i was saying that even though i hate that nigga,” you stuck up your middle finger. “he’s still a great artist, unfortunately. the next two lines are literal, uh, about a month, maybe a month and a half after we broke up, he was posted up with another girl. which was honestly really shitty because he broke up with me to ‘focus on his music’” you quirked your eyebrow and used quotation marks. “basically this whole song is about me being a jealous heartbroken bitch.” you sarcastically smiled.
PRE-CHROUS
i’m so mature, i’m so mature
i’m so mature, got me a therapist to tell me there’s other men
i don’t want none, i just want you
if i can’t have you, no one should
i might
“i was tryna convince myself that i was strong, and that this wasn’t hurting me as much as i thought it was, but it definitely was. literally wrote a whole muthafucking song about it.” you laughed. “we we’re dating for a long ass time to be honest, so with the ‘i don’t want none, i just want you’ lyric, it’s basically saying that i’ve been with you for so fucking long, it’s always been you, how am i supposed to move on, y’know? it’s lowkey corny but yeah. the last lyric is very um, yandere simulator vibes but it relates to the theme of the song, which is like jealousy and vengeance and possession.” you put your hands up. “don’t worry y’all, i’m not a criminal.”
CHORUS
i might kill my ex, not the best idea
his new girlfriend's next, how'd i get here?
i might kill my ex, i still love him though
rather be in jail than alone
“i can explain y’all, i’m not a killer or a criminal but imma be real, i was definitely having some intrusive thoughts. but everyone does. like, anyone who says they’ve never had thoughts about hurting someone that did them dirty, or fucked with them, they’re fucking lying, 100%. and relating to what i said before, we were together for so long. no matter how much i try to deny, the love is still there. it’s been built up for years, as much as i want to, i can’t magically forget it overnight.”
you continued on with singing the lyrics and explaining them until you completely finished the entire song.
“kill bill was an impulsive creation and release. we recorded and finished the song in like 6 hours, and i was like ‘i want to release this today’” you pointed downwards. “but everyone told me no.” you rolled your eyes. “so i asked when was the soonest we could release it, and it was like in 2 days. so the next day i posted on instagram saying that i was releasing a song tomorrow and that was it. there was no promo for it, which is why i’m so fucking shocked that it did so well. but, thank you to my fans, friends and family, i love you all. stream kill bill, album coming soon, bye!” you blew a kiss to the camera, before smiling and making heart with your hands.
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y/nsinterlude kill bill interview w @genius out neowwww!! go run it up 🫣🫣🤍
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erenjaeger whole lotta yip whole lotta yap
⤷ y/nsinterlude BITCH
⤷ historiarei IM CTFUUUUUUU
y/nsbby ALBUM COMING SOON? HOW SOON IS SOON GIRL??
⤷ y/nsinterlude im doing good wbu
valentinagomez TE AMO MI AMOR 👩🏻❤️💋👩🏾
⤷ y/nsinterlude TE AMO HERMOSA 👩🏻❤️💋👩🏾
user2000 i love u ur so real ❤️❤️
⤷ y/nsinterlude im the realest i love u too 🤍
conswife stop talking shit about connie omfg
shyshiloh i just died 😵😵
⤷ y/nsinterlude i’ll revive u bae 😘
user182 not u still in love with that sick man..
⤷ y/nsinterlude I DID NOT SAY THAT SHIT
aarlert second pic giving egg lowkey
⤷ y/nsinterlude bitch u did NOT js say that
jkirstein professional yapper
⤷ y/nsinterlude i’m beating your ass ho
user555 dont let c***** see that video..
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🦋 !
- this chapter is fr just a whole lotta yapping but 🫣🫣
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i am so glad im finding another person who writes for far cry :)) if possible, can we see a jacob seed x gn!deputy who replaces pratt as his prisoner? it ends with jacob being their one and only, (even if its dubcon)
WIND — UP TOY
jacob seed x gn!deputy
⎨ 𝐀𝐍 ⎬ ty for being my first submission ! jacob and his region lowkey scare the shit out of me lmao 🙏 kinda a little fucked up but I mean it’s jacob seed . also sorry this took so long ); smut below the cut
no use of y/n , reader is referred to as ‘ deputy ’ . gender specific nicknames are replaced by ‘ pup ’ . not beta - read
⎨ 𝐂𝐖 ⎬ blasphemy , deputy is treated like a dog , implied forced cannibalism , implied death of a minor character , brainwashing , jacobs his own warning isn’t he ? smut : dub - con , degrading , oral ( m receiving ) , soft - ish sex , penetration , dacryphillia , one - sided orgasm .
It always crept up on him when he least expected it; when things began to have a sense of normalcy. His days a haze and his nights clouded with gunfire and explosions, dreams marred with blood and the guts of former comrades and men who died far too young. For what?
What is the American dream when the world is going to end anyways? What are the soldiers overseas fighting for when the rivers will soon flow with blood and the ground tarred with ash?
His hand runs over his face; rubbing tired eyes. Demons of his past prey on him while he sleeps, turning him weak. Two to three hours is good enough for him, leaves him rested enough for his eyes to focus on the maps in front of him.
Being the leader of the army of Eden’s Gate wasn’t an easy job, though he held it with pride - a cardinal sin - but Joseph would forgive him as long as the prophecies his little brother had bouncing around his head came true. Jacob didn’t know if he believed in anything, really, it was hard to imagine God was with the soldiers that clutched cross pendants behind HESCO barriers.
But where he might’ve drifted from the true meaning of the cause further and further, where he might’ve argued the existence of a higher power with Joseph; one thing grounded him to his purpose and place in the cult. The Deputy.
Joseph’s ramblings were insane to the layman and gospel to the believer - but it seemed right now they were damn prophetic. Everything he said the Deputy would do; they did, and left bodies in their wake. Sometimes, he would watch whatever the cameras picked up of them on his screens, how they traversed the Whitetails with an almost practiced knowledge.
Sometimes, he felt like the eighteen year old new enlistee again when he watched them. The blood, the gunfire. Jacob Seed was a tough man, righteous and brave, but he would look down at them in their cage and feel the fire on his skin from the ranch he burned all those years ago.
He hated the feeling, wanting to drive his pocket knife into his chest and carve out every semblance of memory he had. But then his music box would rewind, and he would hear the sweet sound of the Platters crooning through the wood and metal and maybe, just maybe, things would be okay for him.
So he watched the way the Deputy writhe behind those thick steel bars against the cold soil, not afforded the luxuries even the most depraved prisoners received. Weak and idiotic for attempting to save their friend; but a mind that could be molded with the right tune.
Staci Pratt was a good pet; Pavlovian in nature and willing to do anything for the oldest Seed brother, so maybe that’s why Jacob began to grow bored of the man. Maybe that’s why he entertained the cracks beginning to show in the conditioning, how Pratt’s eyes softened at the sight of their co-worker being taunted by the Herald and yet knowing there wasn’t anything he could do about it.
An escape plan, of course he knew about it, he had eyes and ears everywhere and could always tell when one of his dogs stepped out of line. A perfectly timed truck, the siren going off to alert that a prisoner had escaped, catching Pratt as he allowed the Deputy to leave without him. It was almost sweet, but moreover vomit-inducing, like a lamb.
Sheep are creatures controlled by their own nature, that’s why dogs have to herd them back into formation - like a general in charge of new recruits. Intolerables are discharged, lambs are taken to the slaughterhouse. Nature, the circle of life, the bad meat is thrown out for the poor and needy to pick through.
“Eat. You wouldn’t want to fall sick, would you?”
A tin was placed in front of the Deputy, they had been through this before. Starved for however many days Jacob deemed necessary - usually ten - before they are given nothing but raw meat to eat. Never did they think they would yearn for the peanuts and beer served at the Spread Eagle, but there was no position to argue about what they were being given here.
Some fell over the side as greedy hands shoveled clump after clump into their mouth, covering it in a pitiful yet successful attempt to keep it down. Never did they ask what kind of meat it was, choosing to instead assume it was from one of the many cow farms in the valley.
“You’re hungry, aren’t ya, pup? You’re lucky, that’s a nice cut of meat.” A grin played on his face as he leaned against the metal bars, fingers grazing over his music box. There wouldn’t be any culling today, no, he had a much better idea in mind.
“Where’s Pratt?”
“Not even a thank you for my generosity, aren’t you fierce?”
“Where is he?”
“Peaches’s little act of rebellion earned him a punishment, I mean; that’s only fair. In a war like this you can’t go sympathizing with the devil, no matter how well you knew them before.”
It’s not an answer, but there’s an unspoken understanding that that is the closest thing the Deputy will get to knowing. A huff falling from their lips, ever the ungrateful dog; but their bowl is licked clean and what more can Jacob ask for?
A soft tsk fell from his lips, cold and condescending because how could he be anything but? Did the thing below him deserve care and kindness? Maybe at some point when they were strong, when their mind was still their own, but now they were nothing but a lamb being fattened for the slaughter.
His fingers grasped their chin, forcing eye contact and no doubt leaving marks that would form bruises. How much had they been through? Chest slashed with the markings from Jacobs little brother and mind already foggy from the bliss that grew in the Henbane; but there was a certain pride he took in being the one to break them.
How much time had passed? Had anyone come looking for them? Jacob had often taunted them, used the fact that they were immobile against the conditioning he had given them to contact anyone. The rebellion would fall without their snake, maybe it already had, how would the Deputy know?
It wasn’t their place to think anymore, to simply let the oldest Herald put a leash around their neck and sit beside like a good dog. Their mind wasn’t their own, now it belonged to him and they had no room to complain.
“Look at’chu, open your mouth.” But he didn’t wait for them to comply, instead he bullied his fingers against their tongue, exploring over their gums and teeth. They could bite him, certainly, but they didn’t - wouldn’t.
Who was Jacob Seed but their owner? He had saved them from themselves, from the blood and the gore and the fire that threatened to burn the world to nothing but ashes. Joseph had greeted them in their new form, John had shown up to pout, but their eyes only ever stayed on the eldest.
“Such a good pup, ‘ did a wonderful job training you, huh?” He asked as if they could answer, as if they weren’t preoccupied by the fingers that traced their mouth like he was mapping them out.
A hum passed from his lips as he removed his fingers, instead moving to undo the buckle on his belt. Even in this state, the Deputy wasn’t stupid and could very clearly tell what was coming next. So, to hopefully avoid any wrath from him, moved to help undo his pants.
Leaning back in his chair and observing as they removed his pants, fingers trailing over the growing bulge in his boxers. Jacob was a stoic man, never did the Deputy know if they were really doing good, but he didn’t scold them so there was no stopping.
Hands smoothed out the black fabric a bit nervously, playing with the hem for a moment before a soft grunt from the Herald alerted them. Knowingly, their fingers hooked underneath the waistband and pulled it away from his freckled skin, letting it pool at his ankles along with his pants.
Wrapping around the base of his still hardening cock, their eyes fluttered up to meet his gray ones. A silent beg, a plea that they were doing alright and there would be no punishment later. All they got in return was a small nod; though there was no love or care behind it. More like a drill sergeant instructing a particularly moldable soldier.
Gentle, unsure licks placed against his tip, hand working against the base; fingers brushing against veins that worked overtime to pump blood to his dick. Jacob Seed was not one for taking his sweet time, his fingers tangled in their hair as he pushed their head down on his aching cock.
A soft gag fell from their lips, hands moving from him to settle on his toned thighs. A heavy breath leaving their nose as they tried their hardest to relax, nuzzling against his untamed ginger hair. He relished in the warmth of their throat, the tightness eliciting a groan as he pushed his hips up.
Their gagging was the sweetest sound he had ever heard, the soft whimpers and tears that emitted from the Deputy as they tried their hardest to just breathe through their nose. He loved the power he held over them, how those pretty tears fell for him.
“Cmon pup, look up at me.”
Fighting between lifting their head to meet his gaze and keeping their mouth wrapped around his cock, the Deputy managed to tilt their head up enough to see him. His smirk widened, cock throbbing against their throat as he watched the tears continue to fall from them.
Another few thrusts to the back of their throat before he groaned, pulling their head off his dick with a small ‘pop’. A trail of saliva still connected their lips, pre-cum mixed in with it. He couldn’t help the laugh that emitted from him at the sight of their swollen lips and heavy breathing.
“Poor thing. Don’t cry, I take care of you, don’t I?”
The Deputy couldn’t do anything but nod, and maybe it was a bit true. Jacob did care for them in his own sick and twisted way. In the back of their mind they wondered if this was how he treated Pratt behind close doors; more like a prized trophy than a lover.
His hands grabbed at their hips, pulling them onto his lap. The small barrier of whatever clothes they had been wearing on their lower half before was quickly removed, giving him access to everything he wanted.
Burying their face into the crook of his neck and wrapping arms around the back of him, the Herald lifted their hips once more to guide himself inside their needy hole before pushing them down onto him. Stretching, pain emanating from the sudden intrusion, he could feel the tears that fell from them and landed against his skin.
He cooed, a grin still wide on his face. His hands still settled on their hips, guiding them up and down on his cock. Gentle movements at first that quickly devolved to an almost feral extent. His pre-cum marred the inside of their hole, creating wet and sticky sounds everytime he fucked in and out of them.
It felt like a dam was about to break by the time Jacob decided he was finished. Loud sobs wracked their body as they cuddled closer to him, so close yet so far. His hips continued to move for a moment; stuttering and shifting a bit before he released inside of them, filling them with his cum.
The Deputy finally leaned back after a moment, tears still flowing from their now red eyes, sniffling - but they still attempted to move their hips over him. To get any kind of release as the Herald caught his breath. Needily grinding against his lap, hands clutching his shirt in a pitiful attempt that only made him laugh more.
“Oh, look at’chu. Pup needs to get off too, huh? Don’t worry, I told you I’ll take care of you.”
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