#im at work rn waiting to go home
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definitely-jax · 11 months ago
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silverskye13 · 9 months ago
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Gave myself psychic damage making plot points, so there's that.
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chronal-anomaly · 9 months ago
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Little activity notice but I'm taking my praxis/boards at the end of March so I'll be extra unresponsive from here on out. See you all on the other side of this!!
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joyridingmp3 · 22 days ago
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have to wake up early tomorrow to drop my sister at the station, then get my ultrasound done, and then go to my job interview after. feels like a good night to listen to the cure
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thedeafprophet · 9 months ago
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I just think that evil women
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binders-and-beanies · 6 months ago
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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lostandbackagain · 9 months ago
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you guys ever wake up evil
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pepprs · 1 year ago
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doing really bad in ways i can’t talk about which is making it worse
#just cancelled a meeting so i could cry in the office LMAOOOOOOO 🥰👍#purrs#the mortifying ordeal of my therapist being on her honeymoon rn 😹😹😹😹😹#i think i am just a bad person and my needs hurt people who need me. and it’s not fair to them and idont know what to do with that.#i think i may have to move out sooner than i am ready to and not listen to anyone telling me to keep waiting. this is not sustainable. it’s#not sustainable for my family because i hurt them with my needs. and it’s not sustainable for me to be unable to need and get what i need#without hurting them. i think what’s so hard about this is that i have to do it alone and everyone is against me doing it but i have to do#it anyway. i don’t know. i don’t want my sister to see this and get hurt. if you do see this im sorry i can’t be what you need. im sorry my#needs hurt you. but they’re needs. i have to be selfish even though my brain is screaming at me in your voice that i don’t. i just need to#escape it all. i am allowed to need independence and alone time and im sorry i was cruel about asserting it but i need to assert it and no#one at home understands why but I need to. im not talking coherently i just feel so wretched and sick to my stomach with guilt and grief and#frustration and shame and i have to facilitate a huge session in an hour and a half.#delete later#like my friends / mutuals / mentors / etc can tell me until they’re blue in the face that i am not a bad person and i deserve to live an#independent Life etc etc but none of you are actually in my house and you don’t see how it is and how i am the cause of all of it and how im#stuck and making things worse. and i can’t summon my strength or calm down or anything. i don’t know. i have to get ready for the session i#just can’t even think straight. my family is right and i am also right and i can’t assert my rightness over theirs. so im stuck forever.#if i could i would leave work early and go home but there’s no one to take me home and home is actually the worst possible place to be#right now LOLLLLL. i just need to curl into a bed and cry. also im about to get my period so thats probably why im like this lol
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dockaspbrak · 7 months ago
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A big thank you to my mutuals who like my nervous breakdown 2-4am posts. You're the backbone of my blog
#its like im not completely alone#idk#what losing a cat does to a woman i guess but#lets be real i was like this before#im just a sad person who laments more than takes action and#i think ill be sad forever probably#in that way some people are#i feel like im one reality over from where im supposed to be yakno?#i used to have this image id hold onto of leaves in the sunlight when i was a kid and i kept waiting for someone to talk to me who#would take me wherever that was#maybe thats the nature of never fitting in u get too in your head and then#reality doesnt feel like home#yeah ive heard people say shit like that sbout books#sorry im not wearing my glasses#lately days blend together and i feel like i cant hold into time#and people talking to me (when they do) sounds miles away#takes ages to get to me if it does at all#oops! sounds like im dissociating hahahahaah oh fuck#when u write it all out. stares at ya right in the face#if im not doing something it feels like my anxiety will latch onto anything#like. rn i feel like im gonna throw up bc of like 5 different things about my car#car insurance. registration. trying to find a job#then it spirals into what ifs. and how thatd suck#constantly this shit. constantly! the only reprieve is going to hang w my grandmother who is 90 and talking about death a lot#😵‍💫#but shes my best friend so ???! fuck!#man idk. im so sad. idek what to do abt this. work out#maybe get a new actor to have a crush on#what makes people happy? idk#em yaps
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pilotstreets · 7 months ago
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your honor i simply do not have the motivation to be a human being
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fricklefracklefloof · 11 months ago
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i love school i hate. doing assignments though
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compacflt · 2 years ago
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Your last top gun fandom act? Did I miss the 1812 AU?
No u didn’t 😭 just not sure it’s happening anytime soon & don’t wanna make any promises
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dragonji · 1 year ago
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its time for yet another brain game of am i like fully neurotic or was this genuinely not a cool situation . prize is jack shite and yet im playing anyways👍
#j.txt#vent#just like. to preface. im not bringing any of this up im just going to stew in it for the night and then move on as per usual#alright disclaimer made now i can get to the point. So. tonight is my close irl friends bday right but she didnt tell me about any plans#so i naturally assumed she was gonna do her own thing and not really celebrate. Ive had work all day and while working get a text frm her#asking if we want to go to this restaurant i introduced our group to for dinner. so i respond saying oh im off at this time if yall want to#go even tho its late i can. Never get a response so i assume theyll bring it up when i get back. get home and no ones here not a word abt#whats going on. i do my usual unwinding get ready to chill etc which takes abt half an hour. she comes back with our other mutual friends#and theyve already gone to the restaurant which is fine i get it. but they get back and say oh now we're going to this themed music night at#a club we've all been to before as soon as (other friend) changes. and then just. dont offer for me to come along or anything and leave.#which like. whatever its happened a hundred times before im used to it but Still. does it not even occur that I might want to participate??#if i had Any notice that this was happening I could have been getting ready instead of slacking around waiting for someone to get home#its so. i try extrememly hard not to be a downer or just invite myself to things bc I Know this is how they all operate but it does still#sting that it feels like im not even thought of if i dont happen to be in the room when plans are being made lol.#and obv I am Not bringing this up rn and ruining what im sure was a really fun night for all of them#its just truly a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation yknow. but such are the whims of fate and i shall endure as always✌️
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michameinmicha · 8 months ago
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Look i know its a rly dumb idea to try and set up a base in the middle of louisville buuuuuut i like being withing walking distance of things and i think it would be fun to try?
Now the question is... do i take my game where i have a nice base in muldraugh and try to move as much as i can over to lv or should i start a new game already there? Kinda wanna keep my things but also kinda wanna start new again...?
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bsaka7 · 2 years ago
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I am NORMAL about seeing family I am NORMAL I am NOT nauseous I have DEFINITELY thought about packing I TOTALLY have already done my shopping from the work gift shop
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archipelagolago · 2 years ago
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good things but personal so hiding in the tags
#its been a year now and WHEN will the honey moon phase be over im going ridiculous fr fr#our anniversary is literally on new years which is so fucking picturesque or whatever the word is i hate it (lying)#i got us matching bracelets and she lost hers that same day im literally so in love with her#and she told her siblings about us and her sister was just like. yeah obviously 🤨#and then later her brother when her parents waiting in the restaurant for a table and me & her & him were in the car and he said yeah.#i figured 🙄 and then he came out to us and i love him. i love her family so much i feel unreal#and her parents literally dont know were dating. like genuinely. i dont know what they think but it works. they said next time they all go#home to the philippines they want me to come. i dont understand why they like me so much & im so scared of the day theyll find out im#dating their daughter and start hating me. but rn i feel so happy so its ok#and her mom said shes thinking of taling spamish classes at my community college and i should take them with her. even though i speak#spanish from home but i can help her#her family is just so kind to me and it makes me feel soooo i dont even know. everything#i just never thought i would be this happy its so impossible for me to understand or accept it#and everything with us is never perfect but its so much love and i feel so lucky its scaring me#i feel like im dreaming im so scared to wake up and lose it all#and its all been so hard and is going to be even harder but its worth it. more than anything and thats even more terrifying than#all the bullshit#but its good its good its good#louie type
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