#ugh im almost done with work i cant wait to go home and play

[michameinmicha]

Look i know its a rly dumb idea to try and set up a base in the middle of louisville buuuuuut i like being withing walking distance of things and i think it would be fun to try?

Now the question is... do i take my game where i have a nice base in muldraugh and try to move as much as i can over to lv or should i start a new game already there? Kinda wanna keep my things but also kinda wanna start new again...?

[winterromanov]

Maybe a college Bucky one where he’s being playing games out of town, and trying to study for exams and he’s just so tired but trying to keep going and reader makes him nap and relax and it’s just very Soft ☺️

pairing: bucky x reader (set in the same universe as this fic)

Trying to play football and also be a competent college student is an Incredibly Difficult Feat. You know this, because watching Bucky vault himself from away games to home games to mid terms to finals is about the most exhausting thing you’ve ever seen. If he’s not studying he’s at practice, and if he’s not playing he’s in an exam. It’s like watching a manic, sleep-deprived whirlwind, living almost entirely off coffee and takeout noodles.

He’s not taking care of himself. He’s pushing and pushing and pushing, trying not to let anybody down--as if he could ever do that.

“You don’t have anything to prove,” you say, as he crashes face-down on the bed in your dorm, the night before he leaves to play a game at Harvard and minutes after his Cold War history deadline. You’ve not seen him eat anything the last twenty-four hours. “Look--you won the last game. Steve said you could sit this one out.”

A vague mumbling comes from your bed. His face is smothered by the pillow and he’s too exhausted to even turn over, so you poke his ass with your foot. His hand reaches out, reflexes still ridiculously quick, pulling you onto the bed with him.

“Sorry, love,” you smirk, curling as close to him as your tiny mattress will allow. His arm pulls you close to his waist, palm splayed across your back. His heartbeat is unrelenting beneath his shirt, thudding between you. “Didn’t quite hear that one.”

His head shifts so you’re basically nose-to-nose, his grin sleepy and delirious. He’s gonna pass out any second. You’ve seen it many, many times before in the last hectic few weeks--you’re probably gonna see it a few more. “I’ll be fine after nap. Promise.”

“Don’t you dare fall asleep before I can force a pizza down you,” you warn, and he laughs, deliberately snuggling into the pillow and letting his eyes flicker closed. You can’t resist--running your hand through his hair, along his face. Kiss his forehead. “Goddamn it, Buck. You’re making it very difficult for me to look after you.”

“You being here is enough,” he says softly and before you have chance to reply he’s gone, lost in some dream. You slowly creep out of his embrace, making the pizza for him anyway. By the time you wake up the next day his body is a phantom shape in your bed but the pizza is gone--he’s left you a bright pink post-it note on the plate. Scribbled in his usual scrawl are the words thank you always favourite girl.

-

we won!!! harvard ain’t better than us at FOOTBALL

wish u could have been there

renaissance lit is being a bitch :(( well done you STAR. miss you more every moment so get back quick

should i hijack the bus and speed down the freeway

if you must

consider it done

love you

love you more than anything

-

The next game is thankfully a home one against Yale so you can at least keep an eye on him--you’re just protective, that’s all, not wanting him to burn out in front of you. There’s a lot of gym sessions and library cramming and a grand total of one dinner date at his apartment, where you made a pasta dish with as many vegetables as you could think of in as possible (his mom had sent you a message afterwards with immense gratitude because her son needed his greens, damn it). The following evening you’d wrapped yourself in one of his jerseys and sat in the bleachers alongside an injured Sam--injured and bitter about it--and waited in the lights and the noise for the game to begin.

“Bucky tells me you’re worried about him,” Sam interjects rather suddenly and when you blink back, he shrugs his non-injured shoulder nonchalantly. “Not that I blame you. That dude just doesn’t let up, does he?”

“You could say that,” you reply, shivering a little. The November air is cold, even wearing Bucky’s sweater. “He keeps telling me the season will be over before long, but I...I don’t want that to be a couple of weeks too much for him, you know?”

Sam hums thoughtfully. Around you, the crowd practically fizzes with excitement, covered with facepaint and aggressively chanting team songs at the opposing side. You’d never been to a college football game before you started dating one of the team’s star players, but you have to admit, the atmosphere is kinda addictive. Watching Bucky play is kinda addictive.

“If I know Bucky, and boy do I know him,” Sam eventually replies, squeezing up closer to you as more people gather into your stand. A girl is openly staring at you both--it doesn’t happen that often, but more so at games. People know Bucky, and Sam, so people know you. “He’ll get through this all okay. He always does, (Y/N). I’d been pretty damn surprised if he doesn’t make captain next year.”

You stare at the bright, clean grass of the field, and think of a boy so fucking exhausted from trying to balance his life that he can barely function half the time. Bucky would be an awesome captain. You just don’t want him to become a dead firework because of it.

-

The game ends up being pretty close but Yale just snatch the victory. It doesn’t mean that they can’t win the season, but. Bucky makes his way over to your stand at the end of the game like he always does, taking off his helmet and mouthguard. He also looks extremely deflated, like he always does when they lose.

“It’s okay,” you say, taking his face in your hands. He looks angry at himself. And you know what he’s thinking. I should have pushed harder. “Shit happens. You were still amazing.”

He kisses you over the barrier in a display of affection you were once too shy to give away in public, but you need him as much as he needs you. When you break apart you plant a chaste, gentle peck on his jawline, running your thumb over the shadow. 

“You two make me sick,” Sam interrupts the moment, arms folded. Bucky flips him off while smiling sweetly and you can’t help but laugh. “Honestly. Didn’t ask to be violated, but here we are.”

“Payback for every single time I’ve walked in on you doing unspeakable things with the girl from the top floor on our kitchen counter.” Bucky snaps back teasingly. You like watching the banter unfold between the two of them. You’d be worried if Bucky and Sam weren’t taking the piss at every given opportunity.

Sam gestures pointedly at his injured right shoulder. “I cannot believe you’d treat a fallen comrade like that. I’m disgusted.”

“And so was I when I saw the state of the kitchen counter.” Bucky gives you one last kiss, clutching your hand. “See you after I hit the showers, yeah?”

“I’ll be waiting.” Your promise him, and his eyes glow just a little brighter.

-

When Bucky facetimes you from Brown the very next week, he looks like he hasn’t slept for at least three days. His Ancient Chinese history exam is literally a day after he arrives back from the trip and he’s frantically cramming in his hotel room in Rhode Island, while also trying not to fuck up the team’s chances of winning the season.

“Just one more game after this,” his grainy voice says on the other end of the video feed, head lolling against the headboard of his Holiday Inn bed. You wish he was in your bed. God, you wish he was in your bed. “And the season is over and I don’t have to be away from you ever again.”

“I don’t think your mom would like it if I stole you away for Thanksgiving.” You joke, tongue poking between your teeth. His lips curve, half a laugh escaping from his chest.

“That’s why she personally invited you to stay with us for the holidays. She’s worried you might sneak in there first and drag me to Virginia. She already knows I’d go wherever you go.”

Your smile is kinda wistful. “Except when you go to Rhode Island.”

“Except when I go to Rhode Island.” He repeats, sighing dramatically. He rubs one of his tired eyes. “Ugh. Who thought coinciding pre-Thanksgiving exams and football season was a good idea, huh?”

“I have no idea, but I’m prepared to have words with them.” You tilt your head. “Don’t work too hard, yeah? It’s one exam. It’ll all be okay in the end.”

“I know, I know.”

You want to keep talking, on and on until the early hours like you do sometimes, because time is apparently not real when you and Bucky are on the phone together. But he needs sleep, and you need sleep, and occasionally you’ll do things for the greater good. “Good luck for tomorrow. Brown won’t know what’s hit ‘em.”

“They better not,” he jokes, “Will you be live-streaming the game?”

As if you wouldn’t. You can’t pretend that you always know what’s going on or any of the rules, but you always try to watch him if you can. He’d do the same for you, over and over and over. “Already got the tab open on my laptop and everything.”

Bucky’s grin is near effervescent, even through your patchy wifi connection. “I love you more than anything, you know that?”

“I may have had an inkling.”

-

hello y/n 

HELLLOOOOO

u know brown are the best losers because they lose and give you TEQUILA

omg are you drunk

never been DRUNK IN MY LIFE!!!! but im at this cool party and stEv e has found a girl and i miss u

i miss u so much . and like i just do generally 

whenever ur not ar oUnd 

oh sweet boy. you are very drunk.

im serious though

sometimes i think about how much i love you and it scares me

because then i th ink what it would be like if you wreent there 

and that makes me so fucking sad i cant breathe

y/n

y/n ???????????????

hellooo 

have u gone to bed

no, just messaging steve to make sure he gets you back safe. im not going anywhere. just please please look after yourself. love you always

-

“I’m sorry about those messages I sent you last night.”

You grab him in the tightest hug possible, his hold all still hanging off his arm, rain spattering down from dark clouds outside his apartment block. You hold him for at least ten years, you reckon, because the thought of him being so fucking sad he can’t breathe makes you so fucking sad you can’t breathe.

“You’re a terrible drunk who says things that make me emotional.” You laugh tearfully into his sweater and he grips you even harder, if possible. The shards of glass jabbed between your ribs start to dissolve as you inhale every single part of him.

“I know, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “I know.”

-

His last game is the day of your renaissance literature exam and for once you’ve been the one not eating and relying on caffeine, anxiety lingering round your jittery bones like an irritating ghost. Your interactions with Bucky are a battle between you wishing him aggressive luck for what could be the winning game while he equally aggressively says your exam will go fine, they always go fine, it’s an easy A for sure. 

Your exam isn’t until the afternoon so you spend the morning pacing about your bedroom looking at a sporadic mess of post-it notes on your wall declaring quotes and context that you hope will just stick in your brain. When Lizzie from down the hall says there’s a package for you you don’t actually think much of it, too busy to deal with something you’ve probably forgotten you ordered from Amazon--but she makes some comment about how fancy it is, wrapped up in striped paper.

Your name is in print across the front so it doesn’t leave a clue on the sender, but as soon as you rip into it and find a bundle of things nestled between tissue paper, you know instantly. It’s kind of embarrassing you didn’t click sooner. 

Dear Y/N - you’ll ace it, favourite gal. 

You try not to break down in sleep-deprived and emotional tears as you pull out a brand new sweater in your favourite shade of burgundy, a vintage copy of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, three different kind of Hershey’s bars and a dumb little teddy bear wearing your college jersey. He’s sent you a fucking care package. He’s away at Princeton, and he’s sent you a care package, because exams drive you crazy and he’s just... Well, he’s Bucky.

-

i got your present

have i ever mentioned that i love you

i may have had an inkling

-

He doesn’t really leave you a choice, does he? Besides, the game is only at Princeton, and if you catch the train the moment you escape the uneasy warmth of a crowded exam hall you should be able to get there in time. 

You’ve never been to Princeton stadium before, but you grab one of the last tickets available and rush onto their crowded bleachers just before the game is about to begin. The lights are heady, the atmosphere is electric, and you’re about to watch the man you lovingly, completely, unrelentingly call your own play the game he loves almost as much as you at a stadium forty miles from home. 

hey steve, you text his closest friend, hoping he’ll see it, get buck to look at the front of the stairs near block d when you come out

y/n if this is what i think it means he’s going to lose his goddamn mind

:)

When the team runs out you notice the number five on his jersey straight away, a constant fleeting image in your head from the countless games you’ve seen him play. Even from a distance, Steve’s eyes catch your own and his arm starts gesturing violently in your direction, Bucky taking a couple of moments to catch on.

It’s a good job the game isn’t due to start for a few more minutes, because absolutely nothing can stop him from automatically sprinting to your side of the field and kissing you senseless, cameras and crowds be damned.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he says on a dizzy outtake of breath.

“Couldn’t miss the last game of the season, could I?” You gently push his chest, urging him to go back to his team. “And neither can you. Go back to them. I’ll be waiting.”

He steals your lips for one more second, giddy and pumped full of adrenaline. “I really lucked out the day I met you, didn’t I?”

His mouth is hot. Hot. Unmistakable. Real. Always, always real. “Not as lucky as me.”

my masterlist

send me a request

[pbandjesse]

I honestly cant believe today it over. The last couple days just really flew by. It was a good couple days but this just means I start my new job tomorrow! Wild. 

I did get to see the moon last night. The way the moon path goes I can lay in bed around 11 and see the moon for almost an hour. Its great. 

And I did sleep well. The extra hour of sleep was very nice. And while I didnt wake up at 715 like I wanted, waking up at 9 allowed me to feel a lot better. Though I was sad I only vaguely remembered saying goodbye to James. 

I got up and got showered and dressed. My skin is looking great and I only have a few more days of the one. So I wont have to shower so much anymore. I will probably still take the double showers some days, but its a little exhausting honestly. 

I felt cute and good today though. I liked my outfit. I love wearing tights. It was rainy and grey and I was just in a good mood. 

I spent the morning playing animal crossing and starting to post on the new store instagram. I am pretty excited. I have already made 3 sales. Jess may back out of the whole thing. There have been some technical issues and she just doesnt really want to deal with it. But I am having a good time at least. I am going to post a few things every day for the next few weeks and make things as I go. But so far I have had great feedback. 

I had a good time playing animal crossing too because its a new month! Last night when James got home we played together for the first time in a while and doing all the halloween stuff was fun. Handing out candy and things. But now halloween is over, so I am picking up most of the pumpkins, in favor of the new mushrooms you can grow. I am going to leave the decorations up for a while longer as we collect more christmasy things. But I am excited by new things so thats pretty great. 

Around 11 I decided to go for a drive. It was raining but not to bad. But of course as soon as I left the house it started pouring. I went back upstairs to get a raincoat and then I was off. 

As I waited at the light to get on the highway, a homeless man asked for change. I did not have change so I gave him the $5 bill I had and he was super nice to me. We talked for a minute while the light was red. Someone had shot him with a paintball gun last night. I felt so bad. Then he asked me where I was from because I had an accent! I always think thats funny when people say that. James says I have a dialect for sure, and its my diction as well. Neat. 

I went out to savers. Driving was a bit scary. Despite all the work on the car, the little traction light is still coming on. Ugh. But I made it to the thrift store in one piece. 

I had a nice time walking around there. I got an amazing lobster rug and a piece of fabric. But the best find was for James. I finally found slippers for him! Except they arent just slippers, they are grey name brand Uggs. For $10. And they fit him! Amazing. So proud of myself for that one. 

I wandered around for a while though. Enjoyed my time out. Not as many weird things today. But a nice walk around. 

When I was done there I went and got lunch across the street. Continued to listen to a podcast. And then went to get some snack based groceries. 

That was a nice time. Thinking about things to put in my lunch this week. Had fun looking at the christmas stuff they are starting to put out. 

I was only very annoyed when I went to my car. Because the cart I was using locked its wheels about 30 feet from my far!! I was still in the parking lot!! Stupid cart. I had to put it in the little cart shelter and then carry all my stupid things to the car. In the rain. So then I was both wet and hot. 

I drove home. Had some issues because of 3 separate accidents that had 83 very very backed up. Making single lanes each time, but of course it was not in the same lane. 

But I still got home soon enough. 

I brought in some of my stuff. Left the heavy things in there. And did some putting away. Some cleaning. Some playing with sweetp. Helping Jess with some google issues and working on some store stuff. I got a little upset by a comment she made about how she would have given up a while ago if I wasnt so excited about the store. And like. Yeah Ive felt that from you. I told her she didnt need to do it with me, but she said she has made a lot of masks already so shes going to. But like. It makes it hard for me to feel good about being excited about something when someone says stuff like that. So I dont know what will happen on her end but I am going to keep going and try to not let it bother me. 

I decided to go for a walk. I went over to walgreens and got nail polish. And when I got home James was here! Hello boyfriend. 

We hung out for a while. And then he made me a taco. Except when he heated up the tortilla, sweetP jumped on the counter and melted his whiskers and got his face singed. I was so upset. He doesnt seem hurt at all but his face was all curly and his chin and chest are burnt. I trimmed it a bit and cleaned him off with a wet paper towel. Im more upset when he is for sure. But still. 

James felt really bad. But it wasnt anyone's fault. It all just happened really fast. 

After dinner James had trivia. I decided not to participate this week. Instead I decided to cut my hair. I put it in two pig tails and chopped off 4 inches of hair. I got a cute bob now. Very nice for the fall. 

Once I finished cleaning up my hair I took a bath. Relaxed. It was a nice time. 

I laid in bed and watched videos for a while. Then went to sit with James as the game was finishing and Lane recited Dante's amazing parody poem. And we showed off our moths. It was a goofy time. 

Now I am in bed. I am cold. James is in the shower. I am going to put a differnt sweater on and try to get to sleep quick. Because I have work tomorrow!! I dont know if I will actually have any kids. But my plan is to get to know my coworkers and set up some art bins for the kids so they dont have to share tools. I hope we eventually get some kids but not having any tomorrow will be alright. I got plans. 

I hope you all sleep well tonight. Take care of yourselves and eachother. Goodnight!

[tetsurouette]

the consequences | sebastian stan

thank you for the request! im sorry the grammar is bad im in the middle of vacation now i cant focus really well

hope you enjoy!

REQUEST ARE OPEN

words count : 1.5k

Being a cardiologist means sometime you have to stay late in the hospital, dissect someone’s body and fix their heart. Today you got a call that you have to do a open heart surgery at 7PM. Its a long process, but its finally finished. You got out from the ER, taking off and throwing out your gloves, you walked into you office and sit, sighing. It was five hours of surgery and your legs hurt. As you drink your water, you took your phone from your purse and all of your tiredness is gone after seeing your boyfriend’s name on the screen.

Sebastian : good luck baby! Can’t wait to hear the process from my smart beautiful girlfriend.

Sebastian : are you done i’m bored

Sebastian : babe its been three hours i bet its a hard one

Sebastian : i’m coming over tomorrow, just call me if anything happens okay? I love you.

You type a quick reply and get ready to go home. You put your stuff in your purse and grab your car keys, walking to the elevator. You and Sebastian are dating for six months now. You met him when you operate his mother a year ago. He was the one who waited for his mother and you got to talk to him about his mother’s heart development. A week later, he asked you out.

**

 You are really confused right now because there are bunch of girls  sitting outside your apartment. You parked your car and got out with your purse and white coat on your left arm. The girls are standing up and waiting for you to come.

“Hi! Are you Y/N?” One of the girls ask.

You scrunched your brows but nodded, “yes and may i know who are you? Also what are you doing in front of my apartment at 12AM?”

“I’m Eve. We are Sebastian’s fans. We know that you are his girlfriend and lots of fans said that you are really kind to his fans. We’re just wondering if we can meet him for a couple minutes” one of them explained.

Even more confused than before, you walk closely to them. “I’m sorry but we don’t live together and i’m sure he doesn’t want his fans to meet him in his private place, where he can rest and do private things”

The girl who claim named Eve rolled her eyes, “now you’re lying to us. I know Sebastian is in there and he would always want to meet his fans! Everywhere!”

You smiled to them, “i’m not lying, sweetie. We live in a different place. I understand that you all love Sebastian, i’m sure you will meet him, but not now, and not in this place. This is my apartment, i don’t even know how you can find my address”

The other girl step forward, “we travelled six hours just to see him. Please, can we meet him?” She pleaded.

You sighed, “Sebastian is not here, girls. We don’t live together”

“Such a liar little bitch” Eve muttered, but you can hear her. Clearly.

“Excuse me? I just finished my job and i’m still responding you all because i know how much Sebastian means to you. Unfortunately we don’t live together and you can’t just come to someone’s private place. I don’t even know how you found my address, now you’re calling me bitch? I’m sorry guys but if you’ll excuse me i have an early shift in a couple hours i need to sleep. Good night”  you walked to your door, searching for your keys in your purse.

“I know you were whoring some men the whole night and lied saying you stayed at the hospital!”

That’s it.

You turned your body and smile softly as you took your phone from your purse, calling Sebastian. You don’t understand. They are look like fifteen and already saying that stuff to a grown up woman? You shook your head.

“Ugh..hey baby, what time is it? Is anything wrong?” You almost melt hearing your boyfriend’s raspy voice.

You replied with a louder voice, so they can hear it. “Hey sweetheart, sorry for disturbing your sleep. Actually there is something wrong. I found six girls in front of apartment claiming that they are your fans and they thought we live together. When i said we don’t, they called me bitch and accusing me for whoring instead of fixing someone’s heart.”

Before Sebastian can respond, you loud speaker your call so they can hear what’s Sebastian response. They all look frightened you want to laugh. You just don’t get it how they found your address and travel for six hours just to go here, expecting to meet their idol.

“What the fuck? Good god, i’ll be there in a minute”

You put your phone down, “see? Now you have to wait until he comes. Dreams come true!” You know you sound really mean but you can’t stand teenagers calling you names, and trying to disturb you boyfriend’s private time.

All of their faces are pale, looking dumb. You sit on a stair and pat beside you, “here, sit. You don’t want to be tired” you smiled at them. None of them are moving.

Around ten minutes later, a car parked behind your car, and your boyfriend comes out in his pajamas, looking good than ever, but annoyed. You stood, approaching Sebastian. The six weird friends’ eyes are about to jump from the place as they stand up nervously.

“I’m sorry girls but i have to ask you to leave. You can’t respect my girlfriend means i can’t respect you too.”

The Eve girl opens her mouth, “we are really sorry Sebastian, we didn’t mean to harass your girlfriend, we just love you so much and we really want to meet you”

Sebastian smiled, “if you really love me, you wouldn’t do this. Good night guys, my girlfriend has to rest.” Sebastian pulled you and open your apartment with his keys.

“Thank you baby, i’m sorry i bother your sleep. You could stay the night” you said, pecking his lips as you walk into your apartment.

**

 You came out from you bathroom, finding your boyfriend sit silently on your bed, doing nothing. You sit beside him, squeezing his thigh, “what’s wrong?” You asked him softly.

He sighed, shaking his head. “Go to sleep, okay? I’ll get your diffuser ready.” You can’t sleep without smelling lavender from your diffuser. Its kind of a habit, and Sebastian understand your habit really well.

Also, you know something is wrong with him. He will usually ask about your day on the hospital, or he will ask you to cuddle him once you finished shower.

You got into the bed, checking emails on your iPad, waiting for Sebastian to join you on the bed. Once he finished with the diffuser, he tuck himself into the bed and kiss you a goodnight, before turning his body, his back facing you.

Confused, you put down your iPad and turn off the lights, hugging his back, stroking his arm. “I know something is wrong. You know you can tell me everything” you kiss the back of his neck.

“Nothing is wrong, Y/N. Just go to sleep, you have an early shift tomorrow” he said.

“Sebastian, look at me”

Sebastian turned his body, facing you. You kiss his forehead, “tell me what’s wrong”

He sighed, “my biggest fear came, Y/N. When we started dating, i don’t want my fans to bother your private life. You are tired from work and you have to deal with bunch of teenagers waiting in front of your apartment, wanting to see me. I’m scared that you will get tired dealing with them and break up with me. Dating you the most amazing thing i have ever did. A cardiologist? Man, that shit is hard and i’m really proud to call you mine. I don’t want you to get tired of me” Sebastian said, tearing up. Your heart clenched, almost hurt.

You cup his face, “i will never, ever get tired of you. And i will never leave you. I know this kind of thing will happen and i’m not complaining, at all. Do you think i’m not scared? I’m dissecting someone’s body almost everyday.”

“But its your job, doll..”

You kiss his nose, “same as you, sweetheart. Its part of your job too, having strangers following you everywhere. I would never leave you just because of that. I know that’s the consequences.”

Sebastian sighed, “you look really tired and you have to deal with them. What if i’m not in the city? What would you do?”

You shrugged, “talk until they leave?”

“Its not gonna work, doll” Sebastian sit up, staring at you.

Following him, you sit up and playing with his fingers, “so, what do you say?”

“Move in with me”

You stopped playing with his fingers, staring at him, “r—really?”

Sebastian nodded, “yeah, i would love to have you company every time i’m here. Also they wont know my apartment” he squeezed your hand.

“But i have so much books and stuff..”

Sebastian chuckled, “don’t you remember i have two empty rooms in my apartment?”

“You’re right, and i get to clean your messy apartment every day now” you laugh. Sebastian is a really messy person. He always forgot where he put his things, and only clean it when you come over.

Sebastian laugh, “whatever, doctor” as he start kissing you.

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.09 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Choni ❤️❤️❤️ But “stealing from.the rich to give to, well, us” what? Cheryl… YOU’RE RICH. Give some of the money to the Serpents They need it a bit more than you do baby. BUT BITCH THEIR FIRST I LOVE YOU I’M—

- Five weeks of the quarantine… that would have made an INCREDIBLE story line? Seriously? It would have been amazing to see Sweet Pea being temporary king while Jarghead and FP were gone. But no… let’s just skip the good part? What the fuck kinda writing skips.a great plot?

- “All physical contact must be kept to a minimum?” um… literally WHY? There’s literally NO reason for that to be a rule? Also fuck off Moose no ones likes a tattle tale and we all know that you’re slumming it up with Kevin after school so leave my babies alone. Oh. it’s for the seizures? Really? Dude SEIZURES ARE NOT FUCKING CONTAGIOUS YOU STUPID FUCKERS OH MY GOD. Stop trying to keep then gays from being cute!!!!!!!

- The RROTC made the rules? Dude they don’t run the school lmao that’s NOT HOW THINGS WORK

- JOSIE SINGING!!! MY BABY VERONICA!!! UGH FUCK ME UPPPP

- VEGGIE. VERONICA IS LOOKING AT JOSIE’S INCREDIBLE SINGING WHILE REGGIE IS AWING AT VERONICA I’M—

-  Ew and then my mood is ruined by bughead waking up 😷😷😷

- Betty put all of those girl’s… in HER house? THE COOPERS CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES LET ALONE THOSE GIRLS. Also don’t they fucking have families? And yes, Betty, that scream definitely would wake up your mom because they have those motherly instincts and they’d think their child was hurt, so ofc she’s going to wake up.

- They want to play… G&G… are you kidding me? I kinda get that it makes them feel better because that’s how they had it in SOQM but still WHY? JUST PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING AND TAKE A BATH.

- Of course Jughead goes from his horrible leadership to “I left you too long” stfu right now your priority is the Serpents and who’s dealing the drugs (although I know who and uhhhh leave them alone he has to stay alive somehow)

 - They don’t even have an elected Sheriff yet? WHY? SHERIFF KELLER DIDN’T DIE DID HE? THEN FUCKING REINSTATE HIM??? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU STUPID FUCKS

 - “Maybe that means that Archie could come back home” wE KNOW YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM BETTY. Barchie!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

- Reggie ❤️❤️❤️ WOAH WHAT NO LEAVE HIM ALONE? HE ALREADY GETS ABUSED BY HIS FATHER! But aw Ronnie gets to take care of him I’m—

- Hiram really is trying to hustle his daughter wow so uhhh he does know that his daughter is the incredible Veronica Lodge, right? She’ll find a way lol we all know the queen can do everything

- “Has anyone ever told you you’re a badass?” Wow Reggie is so fucking into her I’m just 😭😭

- If Vegas gets hurt RAS will LITERALLY DIE.  I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. Also there’s no way Vegas wouldn’t have seen or heard the bear behind him but sure whatever. ARCHIE JUST BC SHE’S ZONING OUT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HEAR HER. JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS JESUS. Also how convenient that it suddenly doesn’t work.

- “They imprinted on me” Betty NEVER say that again that was gross as fuck. “But as their queen, they are your responsibility, not mine” bitch Betty can’t be a queen no matter how hard she tries, and she (nor Jughead) know how to take care of anyone but themselves so… Alice unless you want Betty to end up killing them, this is where you, as the mom, undermine her and take them to the farm. Of course I don’t trust the farm but it’s much safer than the Cooper house hold because they have the resources to spare, the Cooper’s don’t.

- Hey here’s an idea… since you can’t get to Hiram using the nuns because they took a vow of silence (cowards) then maybe… just maybe… OUT IT AS A CONVERSION THERAPY HELL SITE AND USE THAT INSTEAD? But we know Betty doesn’t want to save the gays so 😷😷

- I love Josie’s singing but why is she singing in an empty lounge? REST HER VOCALS.

- I used to love Hiram’s evil-ness but now he just shows up all the time and it’s getting annoying. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THIS FUCKING PLOT SO VERONICA CAN FOR ONCE GET HER OWN STORY THAT BETTY DOESN’T TAKE, THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER FATHER OR A GUY. SERIOUSLY. They have so much potential with literally any other character but still decide to force Bughead and their separate characters down our throats. Like at this point honestly just kill them both off Jesus Christ

- Jughead… this is a gang… they’ve always sold drugs? At least, weed, but still? You have to take into consideration that you were gone, and they were placed under quarantine, and they needed money. You can’t blame any of them for dealing with Hiram you whiny piss baby. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

- God it bothers me that Jarghead is such a lowsy king. When do we get Sweet Pea overthrowing him? pLEASE WE NEED IT SO TONI CAN LEAD BESIDE HIM. Maybe Swangs (even though I know what happens) and Choni can co-lead the Serpents

- Cheryl speaking facts! AND MY BOY FANGS. Jughead had NOTHING to say to Fangs and FP had to step up and cover for Jughead, because he was right. What else are they supposed to do? Gangs are supposed to do bad shit? Jughead has done ultimate horrible shit and suddenly he’s going to act like a gang is supposed to be clean? Jughead do your research that is not what gangs do. Also, if FP is going to be at every fucking Serpent meeting maybe he should, you know, take his spot back. He’s a MUCH better leader than Jughead, even though I’d prefer it be one of the founding members like TONI FUCKING TOPAZ or something.

- I love how no one really does the “in unity there is strength” thing. Like, they know they’re being lead to slaughter basically and FP is just letting it happen. Also, they’re running the gang into the ground. There is no more unity because JUGHEAD’S STUPID POWER-HUNGRY ASS ISN’T DOING SHIT TO HELP THE GANG. Also also Betty looks so out of place and awkward there. Can’t wait for Archie to come back and for her to realize that he almost died and then realize she can’t live without him and that she loves him and finally bughead can split for good and barchie can rise

- If Veronica paid why the FLYING FUCK did they go after Josie? FucK OFF HIRAM

- Polly you had to say his name. LEAVE MY BOY ALONE.

- FANGS CRYING STOP STOP STOP MY BABY BOY NO NO NO

- “We could’ve helped you” JUGHEAD YOU LITERALLY JUST BANNED CRIME. THE SERPENTS HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ELSE WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? Also they can’t get mad at him bc this was before Jughead got back and did the stupid crime law like a hypocrite

- DUDE FANGS DID THIS BEFORE THE FUCKING RULE YOU STUPID FUCKERS? LIKE??? DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS?

- Oh Jughead has one brain cell left? I know he ends up being cancelled but he’s not… yet.

- CHONI BREAKING IN AND STEALING SHIT YES BITCH

- Why is Archie hallucinating playing G&G? Like doesn’t this mean he’s playing by himself? The fuck?

- Dead ass Cassidy telling Archie it sounds like his fault that all that happened, you can tell that this is Archie’s mind because he always blames himself for things that have nothing to do with him. Because we know that it’s definitely NOT his fault. None of it is.

- Cheryl just HAD to kiss the picture

- JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. MY FANFIC IS COMING TO LIFE. JUGHEAD AND THE SERPENTS PROTECTING VERONICA YASSSSSSSSS

- I’m mad that they didn’t have Joaquin not actually die. Like, Sweet Pea and Fangs were close to him? They could have faked his death like what the fuck

- YES WE LOVE AND STAN LAWYER MCCOY

- How did Jughead know that Toni was involved? Cheryl was the only one who left a stupid calling card.

- THE TEARS WELLING IN TONI’S EYES STOP STOP STOP

- But he can’t fucking kick her out she’s literally a legacy. This crusty white boy needs to sit the fuck down

- Okay one, Cheryl why would you bring Fangs back into it? THE FUCK. Also, Jughead you can’t be disappointed in Fangs for telling SP even though you said not to tell anyone—best friend’s never count. 

- SWEET PEA STANDING UP. FANGS CRYING. “Some leader you are” YES FANGS WHAT A KING. SWEET PEA BBY OH MY GOD

- “And the rest of us don’t get to go back to Thistlehouse” says the disgusting whiny piss baby who gets to sleep in his girlfriend’s house, in her comfortable bed while his gang lays in cots or some shit in tents. Get off your mighty high horse, Jughead. God, now they’re switching roles… Betty is kinda becoming SLIGHTLY tolerable and now Jughead is being so fucking annoying. Go back to how it was please.

- JERONICA. AND VEGGIE. EXCELLENCE.

- So Archie standing over Hiram and shit was all a fucking dream? Really? COME ON. Lol Hiram has a point though because everyone goes in and tells him their fucking plans. OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE WAS GREAT. CALL BACK TO BARCHIE BEING ENDGAME YESSSS.

- So if Veronica ended up smashing the egg… then fucking give Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl their spots in the Serpents back since it was all for nothing anyways.

- I’m glad Cheryl and Nana Rose are housing some fo the girls but WHAT ABOUT THE SERPENTS YOU GUYS HAVE A BIG FUCKING HOUSE. Why didn’t she house some of them there? I mean it’s ooc for Toni not to be thinking of her fellow Serpents why wouldn’t she be like “hey babe you have a lot of room here what if we help house some of the Serpents” but uhhh apparently not.

- Hey FP shut the fuck up with this “she’s still a Lodge” shit because you all know she doesn’t associate herself with her parents anymore. Remember “you don’t have a daughter” or…?

- Jughead brought up when FP worked for Hiram. Hell yeah! But him saying he wants Jughead to be a better king than him? BITCH YOUR SON DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO RUN A GANG. HE SUCKS. HE’S STUPID AND RUINING THE GANG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? God never give your throne to blood family.

- Yeah, FP, you’re not made for the sidelines you’re made to RULE you stupid fuck. Maybe you should get back with Alice she makes you more stable and less stupid

- REGGIE’S LIKE “NOT THIS TIME BITCH”

- SWEET PEA WITH A BAT FUCK YEAH

- So… you threaten the gargoyle bitch but you don’t unmask him to see who he is? Are you fucking stupid?

- Wtf… he has to beat himself with a bat on his own bed? I am confusion… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? THE BLACK HOOD AND HIRAM AND THE GARGOYLE KING HAVE DONE SHIT NOT YOU YOU BIG BAFOON. NO DON’T DESTROY YOU’RE GOOD HEARTED INNOCENCE. YOU’RE THE ONLY BRAVE ONE OF THE CORE FOUR. ARCHIE NO.

- If they make Archie unlikable the only good core four person will be Veronica.

- VERONICA SINGING ❤️❤️❤️ Oh fuck I know this song but I can’t remember where I’ve heard it!!!

- VEGGIE. SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE HIM I’M— HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH HER. VEGGIE KISS. Why can they make their chemistry shown on screen but Bughead can’t? Like both couples are even dating irl, too…

- JUGHEAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT. He only uses Sweet Pea or Fangs when he has something he doesn’t want to do usually because it’s too dangerous for him (whiny piss baby). DON’T MAKE MY BABY BOY GO UNDERCOVER HE’LL FUCKING GET HURT.

- I’ve literally never hated Jughead more nothing he can do can make up for what he’s done in this episode bye

- What the actual fuck. This is so fucking stupid.

- Archie isn’t dead. If Archie dies before bitch ass Betty or Jiggaloo Jones I will literally come after RAS. 

[vellihor]

選擇 ° chpt 2.

genre 》 skz mafia!au

word count 》 1857

warning 》 angst, violence, gore, etc.

__________________________________________________________

YUBIN

i knocked a few times on changbin's door. i roll my eyes as i hear loud rap music being blasted on the other side of the door. i slide the door open anyways. i see changbin punching furiously at the punching bag.

i walk over to the speaker to stop the blaring music, only to have my brother spin around to glare at me. seeing me, he hesitates before taking off his boxing gloves and hanging them up on the rack. i toss a towel at him, grossed out at the sweat dripping down his body. as he caught the towel in midair and cocked an eyebrow at me.

" we havent had sibling heart to heart talk in a long while changbin."

he motioned for me to sit down on his bed. which i graciously took up his offer on. i hugged his plushie, gyu, the only clean thing around the room. i watch as he pulls out a fresh shirt from his closet. he drags a chair from his desk to sit infront of me. then i decide to start the ball rolling.

" so whats your deal with minjung? hm? "  

i see him facepalm himself and groan into his palm. because changbin was older than me by two years, he always had trouble opening up to me. he felt as if he was not doing a good job as an older brother. thats why i started this heart to heart talk between the two of us. i waited as he lifted his head to look at me, thinking about how to put it in words.

" that woman simply ticks me off. shes single-handedly the most stubborn person i have met- "

" says you. "

i pressed my lips in a thin line as changbin gave me an unamused expression.

" i dont know we just dont work well together. i work well with anyone and everyone except her. she hates my guts, i hate her guts. we are even. then chan has to force us to work together. to be honest, i thought making the situation worse would make chan rethink about this shitty paring. guess i was wrong. "

" well from my point of view, i think the both of you should try to tolerate each other. i mean you have always been good at tolerating people. why not just tolerate each other. you guys cant jump at the first chance to kill each other. who knows maybe you guys will end up liking each other. "

he grabs a nearby soft toy and chucks it at me. probably from my last sentence. but i see him slowly consider my words.

" then whats with you and hyunjin trying to send each other to your respective graves huh? "

" thats a different situation! "

" mhmm tell me. how so? "

" ugh youre impossible. "

" lets make a deal then. if you try to get along with hyunjin, i promise to try to get along with minjung. "

i eyed him suspiciously and stuck out my pinky. he locked his pinky with mine. he shot me his goofy smile. i scoff at him as i lay down on his bed. he lies down next to me and we stay in a comfortable silence, staring at the ceiling. until i break the silence.

" do you ever miss mum and dad? "

he pauses before replying.

" all the time. i just wish they didnt leave so soon. maybe then we wouldnt have ended up like this. sure we have been through tougher things but i wonder how different things will be if they were still here. "

" remember that time we stole from the convenience store? we nearly ended up in jail. i still cant believe we survived by ourselves for so many years. "

he chuckles softly as he recalls the memories. ever since our parents died in a fire, changbin and i have always been relying on each other. i vaguely remember changbin sitting on the pavement and bawling his eyes out. his head was buried in his two hands as he sat there trying to comprehend the life-changing situation he had experienced. i remember twelve year old me being lost and clueless, wandering about in the crowd that had formed in front of the building. changbin shot up as soon as he heard my voice and engulfed me in a hug. the both of us had tried so hard to forget about that incident. but one of us would get a nightmare about it every now and then.

it has been five years since chan took us in and decided that we would have family members to look out for us. now we feel like SK is our family.

i watch as changbin stands up from the bed and looks at me in disdain before snatching gyu out of my hands. he strokes gyu before placing it down on the bed. changbin offers his hand to help me stand up. but i know better than to fall for that trick again. i push off the bed on my own. changbin looks offended that i didnt take his hand. i punched his left arm before walking towards the door. he gives me a look of pure pain and disbelief, while holding his left arm.

" did you just-? did you not hold back anything in that punch?"

" come on. dinner is about to be done. i bet you a hundred bucks that grandpa woojin is going to complain about how nobody helped him to prepare dinner. "

i chuckle as i slide the door open. i walked to living room, spotting hyunjin playing pool. changbin nudged me towards him. i scowled at my brother, only to have him flip me off. he shooed me off, mouthing "get along with him".

i walked to the pool table and picked up a cue stick. hyunjin pretended to not see me. i was going to give up being nice. but changbin was watching from the sofa. so i resorted to poking hyunjin in his ribs with the cue stick to get his attention. hyunjin saw it coming and dodged it before i even hit his ribcage. he sneered at me. i scoffed and threw my hands up.

changbin was still watching from the sofa. i took a deep breath before speaking.

" best out of three. loser treats the winner to a round of drinks. "

i sigh in relief as i see hyunjin consider my offer, nod and reset the pool table. i look towards changbin. he was giving me two thumbs up. i grin widely at him as i see him being awkward with minjung, who had just came out of the shower. he was trying so hard to start a conversation without being weird.

i turn my attention to hyunjin.

" ladies first. "

" wow hyunjin is being a gentleman for the first time. "

" hey take it or leave it. "

i say nothing as i rest my cue stick on my fingers.

__________________________________________________________

HYUNJIN

i eye the woman infront of me suspiciously. her behaviour seemed too abnormal today. she was actually being nice to me. just to clarify, that has never happened. ever.

yubin clears her throat and gestures to the pool table.

"um.... so i won and drinks after dinner are on you,"

i shrug and continue staring at her unknowingly, watching her put the cuestick down and run to the kitchen to help woojin with dinner.

i snap out of it when woojin shouted for everyone to eat dinner. i walked over to the dining table with jisung. dinner was the usual. everybody was talking loudly and enjoying dinner.

i noticed that changbin and minjung were talking to each other. i scrunched my nose in confusion. i nudged seungmin.

"whats with changbin and minjung?"

"what?"

"nobody realises that theyre being friendly to each other ????"

"yeah no dumbass. they are on a truce. they just said it just now. pay attention to the table conversation will you?"

"ouch, no need to snap at me like that. that hurt my feelings."

my mind wandered to yubin being not-so-hostile to me. she DID try to puncture my ribs with the cuestick.

__________________________________________________________

after dinner, i brought two bottles of beer up to the roof. i looked around looking for yubin but i couldnt see her anywhere.

"did she just bail on me?" i thought.

just then, i spotted a dark ball snuggled into one of the many oversized beanbags that jisung bought. i walked over to see her looking up at the sky. i plopped myself on the beanbag next to hers.

"so whats up there that got you staring for so long?"

she doesnt even look at me. no acknowledgement of my presence whatsoever. i scoff at her.

"wow so youre not even going to reply me? even after i got you beer? come on you have got to be kidding me."

after a few minutes of silence, i hear soft snoring coming from my right. "no way. no fucking way. is she sleeping?" unsure of what i had just heard, i snapped my head to look at her. leaning in closer to check if she was indeed asleep. upon a closer look, i realise i have been sitting next to a sleeping yubin.

i sigh as i sink back into my beanbag while taking a swig out of the bottle in my hand. after a few minutes, she stretches and somehow manages to hit my eye in a state of half conciousness. my right hand presses against the injured part. she recoils in shock and grabs onto my arm. her face was full of worry and she was starting the panic.

"ohmygod ohmygod i am so sorry. fuck fuck fuck. you need ice. wait here im going to go get ice for you. do not move."

i chuckle at her and removed my right hand.

"im not injured you dumbass. that was payback for making me wait for you to wake up."

she freezes with an unreadable expression. i stiffen at her reaction. she then slowly sinks back down in her beanbag with an almost inaudible "oh".

the atmosphere becomes awkward again. yubin clears her throat and reaches for her bottle of beer.

"um yubin?"

"what?"

"thats my bottle."

.

.

.

"yea i know. my bottle isnt open yet."

*awkward silence yet again*

*caw caw caw*

"so,, um hyunjin, do you have any siblings?"

*caw caw caw*

"uh....... sure yea of course i do. i have a twin sister and an older brother. my twin sister went missing when we were five and my older brother ran away from home when i was seven."

i looked over at yubin to see her mumbling to herself.

"hey dont worry its fine. really."

she looks at me with a forced smile.

"and your parents- ohmygod i just asked a stupid question didnt i? ah fuck sorry. im bad at this."

i let out a loud laugh as she facepalms herself. she gives me a questioning look.

"hey hey relax. no need to panic so much. just breathe okay? and yes to answer your question, i do have parents. both are healthy and fully alive."

"what about you, yubin? whats your story?"

"where do i even start?"

[7wanderingpaws]

Home arrest. (Jinyoung)

Another request yay! 

This came quickly so I hope it will still be enjoyable. Please let me know what you think and thank you for reading <3 Have a great Friday and weekend! 

Request: - - - Jinyoung x reader - - - (University AU)

The world was an unfair place - that was a fact you knew for a long time being a university student and seeing all the possible disadvantages, etc. However, you could have sworn this one was the worst one out of your entire student life.

“What do you mean you cannot go?” asked your best friend, Nabi. She had this long, black hair that shined beautifully even in the dull lighting of the student cafeteria. She grabbed her iced americano and took a cute sip.

You took off the lid of your hot americano and straight away took one sip. It burned but who gave a damn?! Nabi was about to say something but she almost choked on her own gulp. You swallowed, momentarily dizzy from the burning coffee going down your throat. “Because I have to go to see grandma in the counryside.”

“But can't you postpone it? Come one day later? And that is literally on the other side of the country, Y/N. Changwon is ages away.”

“You know how my father is,” you said, defeated. Besides, you were in quite the trouble at home, being “locked up”. Your father was a very authoritative person that strongly believed in confucianism, therefore there was nothing you could do against him. Yet, you did come home very drunk and very noisy after you managed to nail some hard exams with high scores two days ago. It was like the end of the world at home, but, oh well, you were here feeling very alive.

Nabi made a grimace but didn't dare to comment anymore once the topic turned your father. 

Anyway, you were so ashamed about this fact (you being drunk and then you being “imprisoned in your own home”) that you ended up avoiding your boyfriend Jinyoung. And it was his graduation that you could not attend which broke your heart.

As you were just about to continue with complaints, your KakaoTalk dinged. Not wanting to take it right away, you ignored it when another ding came in. Then another one, then another one. You frowned and looked at Nabi but she was staring at something behind you. Who was i-

“Oh, there you are!” said Jinyoung cheerfully, pushing his phone into his pocket and appearing in your eye sight next to your chair. Nabi had heart eyes and you were trying to stop your heart from beating too frantically. “I was looking for you everywhere, sweetheart. Hey Nabi,” he sent her a charming smile. Nabi covered her face, all red.

That “sweetheart” nickname made you want to cry. “What are you doing here?”

“I finished my meeting sooner than I thought, so now we can be together as much as possible,” he said, his voice slightly raspy. He leaned in, supporting himself with one hand on the table and the other one on your chair. “And you are free now as well, considering your successful exam season.”

You swallowed and didn't dare to look him in the eye. “I actually have to go now.” Before he could even realise it, you were pushing him aside and trying to get up. “I desparately have to be somewhere right now.”

“Oh, yes, you forgot about your media meeting again, didn't you?” Nabi played along, nodding.

Jinyoung looked quite like the confused puppy. His head was turning once to Nabi, once to you, but you were already packing your bag, throwing it over your head. “Wait, Y/N, what media meeting? You're not a media student... Bye Nabi!” he shouted behind his shoulder as you made your way out of the cafeteria. “We should talk about tomorrow.”

Oh no. “Sorry, babe, maybe later? This is pretty urgent,” you said in a monotone voice, not even looking at him. “Catch you later.” You started to jog.

“Y/N!” he said louder, but didn't follow you anymore. He stayed there, laughing in disbelief at what just happened. Usually, you would throw yourself around his neck, giving him a loving peck on the cheek and never leaving his side. And now you looked so panicked for some strange reason.

Obviously, you did not have any media meeting. You took the metro line 9 to your house in Gimpo. Once safely home, you were met with delicious scents coming from the kitchen but even now you didn't feel like eating.

“Y/N? Are you home?” screamed your mum from the kitchen. 

“Yes, I am.” Taking off your shoes, you almost stumbled over. “Oh, for God's sake,” you murmured, very inrritated.

“What did you say, dear?” 

“Oh, nothing. I am home, continuing my home arrest.”

Your mum appeared from the kitchen, looking down the corridor. A typical house-wife, she had her dress and apron on her. “How was it today?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” you said as you went into your room. Your phone was blowing up but you had no guts to answer Jinyoung.

Your mother sighed, worried. “Alright, get your things ready, we are leaving soon for Changwon.”

---

Me (05:58am): Jinyoung, I cant make it today, please dont worry and enjoy it to the fullest. I am sorry

Done. He now was informed that you won't make it and you could just lie in this old bed at your grandmother's and think about the meaning of life... Truthfully, you were so unbelievably irritated, so annoyed and disappointed, you just kept shedding unhappy tears. 

Especially the fact that your grandmother lived in Changwon,  yours and Jinyoung's birthplace. A place where your friendship and later love began. It made you feel this silly bittersweet emotions that were useless.

Your phone beeped once again but you just got up, knowing well that you couldn't afford staying in bed. 

Hard work in the farm began.

---

Three days later, you were back in Seoul. It was very late and you were very tired. You did manage to talk a little bit on the phone with your beloved Jinyoung, but he knew all too well that for some strange reason you were trying to avoid him. He wanted to know why. He wanted to know what happened. It was hurting him so much that you were ignoring him and walking around the issue when he thought you are aware you could tell him anything.

He cared about you so much. He was worried sick you hurt yourself when you fell on that bicycle trip you two took, he hated when he saw you cry for any reason unless it was out of happiness, he was uneasy when he knew you had to face stressful situations and couldn't be there to accompany you. . . He didn't think you were a child or dependent on him, no. He simply, plainly loved you, adored you and wanted to make sure his love is always feeling good and comfortable.

That's why he found himself in the darkness, right in front of your house. It was all silent, your parents probably asleep at this hour. But he knew you would be awake. The tiny light from your nightstand lamp said it all. 

Jinyoung was certainly an athletic type, having competed in a few baseball games and much more football games for the university team. He grasped the ladder that your father put there after working in the little garden you had and pulled himself up, making sure no noise was made.

Back in your room, you were neatly folding your clothes, unpacking your tiny suitcase you brought to Changwon. Silent music was coming from your laptop until you heard your phone beep with a message.

You sighed, knowing well who it was but you still took it, reading the message without unlocking your phone. 

My love (23:46pm): Open your window 

You tried not to panic as your head snapped up looking straight into Jinyoung's eyes. Behind the window. He was balancing, barely managing and you took in a sharp breath immediately dropping the lovely summer dress you had in your hands. You unlocked the window and opened it, grabbing Jinyoung's arm and pulling him forcefully inside, until both of you fell on the floor, him on top of you. Yay, long live the clichés!

You were breathing heavily. “What are you doing here?” you whispered loudly. His eyes bored into you, they seemed so lost and yet so happy to see you after one week of constant avoidance. He pressed his lips to yours hurrily without giving any answer and you immediately gave in, closing your eyes and finally wrapping your arms around his neck. You were trying to pull him as close as it was physically possible.

After a heated three-minute make-out session, you became rather uncomfortable on the floor and squirmed under him. 

“No,” said Jinyoung strictly, making you freeze. “You are not going to escape me this time.”

Your chest was going up and down. “What.”

“Why were you avoiding me? What happened?”

“Jinyoung, if my father finds you here-”

“Answer me.”

“He is going to kil-”

“Goddamit, what is wrong?” he said, a bit louder which made you slap your hand onto his mouth. He grinned cheekily and said, muffled: “I will talk louder to wake your father up if you don't answer me right now, Y/N.”

You closed your eyes again, praying for two seconds. “I can't tell you.”

He frowned. No answer came to his mind.

“I cannot tell you, because I am ashamed about it.”

Now he forgot about his little threat and sat up properly, finally letting you breathe. “Did you do something?”

“I...”

“You didn't attend my graduation. You were one of the only people I was hoping to share this memory with, are you aware of it?” Jinyoung's face was torn apart and still managed to look authoritative. “Are you?” he asked again.

“Im so, so sorry,” you lowered your head. “I truly am, Jinyoung.”

“I need a reason.”

“There is no-”

“Tell me right now. Or else,” he started to take in a big amount of breath, ready to shout to wake your father up. Ugh, what a freaking savage tease!!!

 “Okay, okay, okay, just shut up,” you said pressing your index finger to his lips. He smirked and gave your finger a kiss. “I am in a home arrest kind of thing and I was ashamed about it so I didn't want to tell you. That last day at uni I was not going to a meeting but home.”

“What? You were in a home arrest?”

“Shhhhhh, don't talk so loudly!” you scream-whispered.

“But you are old enough to take care of yourself now.”

You sighed. “I know, but my father doesn't think that. Anyway, this is the truth, now get out before he discovers you here.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I don't care. I already spent too much time without you.”

You sighed as he hugged you once again, rocking you from side to side. Suddenly, the entire thing became so absurd for you; you were now ashamed for being ashamed.

“I have an idea,” whispered Jinyoung and pulled away just a little bit so he could see your eyes. “What about spending the summer in Changwon? Your grandmother would be over the moon and so would be your parents. You barely see her anymore, ever since we moved up to Seoul.”

You blinked, stunned at how good that idea sounded. A few seconds of considering, and you both were chuckling. “I'd love that.”

He let out a breathy laugh and leaned in to kiss you, combing your hair out of his way. “Then I guess we have one hell of a great summer coming up.”

[shytiff]

June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins. 

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients. 

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo  

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning. 

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and  summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers. 

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

[sweatytyrantwhispers]

Part 4 of things my friends do that make me love them even more:

- both rachel and cristine are artistically talented and i cant fucking wait to see them become famous doing the things they love (i know theyll becoem famous i believe in them tht much) (rachel has a great singing voice; cristine has a great singing voice, knows how to play various intstruments, loves acting, and can paint/draw amazingly)

-seth tells me some catchphraes his fav youtubers say whenever we talk

-none of my friends (nor I) knows how to react or what to say most of the time, especially when it comes to gift giving and compliments; we’re all oblivious and awkward people that don’t understand society

-andy messes up on what to say to customer service people when its evening/night time cus we usually go out around tht time but he’s used to sauing have a good day

-andy also hates intersections so he’ll pretend hes walking in the other direction (away frm the intersection), stand on the sidewalk and pretend hes doing something, or take a whole other route if theres a car nearing the intersection bc he says it feels awkward

-rachel’s favorite animals are dogs and raccoons so when i send her a post abt raccoons she gets rly excited and says she wants to hv a raccoon as a pet when she grows up. She also gets excited when i point out a dog to her in public (she cant see it cus no glasses but still excited by its genert presence)

-dina is scared of lightning so I always try to ask her if shes alright when theres a thunderstorm

-when we go to the park, rachel almost always tries to make tiktoks. We always end up interrupting and annoying her while she makes them though, sorta like our little routine.

-last time we went to the park, rachel ended up accidentally hitting meng and I directly on the face with the volleyball (its ok though cause im pretty sure we’ve ended up accidentally hitting each other with the ball at least once)

-when i got hit with the ball dina asked me if i was ok but as she moved towards me she went for the ball (we were playing monkey in the middle and she was one of the monkeys); its just funny and i love that our friendship is at a point where we could laugh about it and everything is fine

-i told my friends that i was depressed before going to the park to hang out w them. when i got there i kinda just sat on the ground looking through reddit with music on high. they all tried their best to talk to me and tell me funny stories (they said they overheard a group of kids talking about how they pantsed another dude) to cheer me up. Dina and Rachel both decided to give me a hug at the same time and i toppled over. Dina gave me a hug again. I love them so much

- Andy called me while i was in class to tel me to look at the sunset. Its something that both of us have done a few times because we both love sunsets and usually see them when we’re out. Its a small thing but it makes me love my friends even more.

-I was on voice call with Rachel on discord and she laughed then sent the group chat a link to a tiktok

-(not my friend but my mom) She knows that i hate it when things are thrown out when they’re still good or can still be repurposed. Someone brought flowers home for some reason (i forgot why) but she was putting the flowers in a vase one day. Some of the flowers broke off the bigger portion of the stem and couldn’t be put into the big vase but she put a bunch of them into a small container for me and gave it to me. I loved it even though we did hv to throw it out like a few weeks later.

-My friends and I were at Central Park and we were waiting for my two friends to finish up taking pictures. Meng and I were taking a short nap (him sitting down w his elbows on his legs and me w my head on his shoulder) while we waited. We also shared my earbuds to listen to my music. I was p sleepy so I was on the verge of sleeping my also sorta aware of what was going on (mainly cus we were guarding our stuff while everyone else was taking pictures elsewhere). I was doing that thing you do when you’re nodding your head while trying to stay awake/go to sleep. I kept on doing that until he eventually sat up a bit more and pushed my head onto his shoulder better

-Samir looked at a shirt with george washington on it and confidently said that was benjamin franklin

-Dina was talking about how she kept on eating shrimo and peanuts even though she has a mild allergy to it. Rachel and I were telling her to stop and tht we’re not bringing it to the picnic on sunday cus we dont want her dying. She responded, very confidently, tht she “hasnt died before”

-Samir calls dina “d-money”

-Rachel gave me a hug as an im sorry for taking so long. (I genuinely didnt care cus even tho they do take a long time i still v much love them)

-Rachel takes tiktoks and videos of us while we’re out

-Rachel and Dina both got v the excited when i wore a skirt out today because I usually dress more masculine

-A few weeks ago (i think) my friends and I were at the park. I was trying to do something to meng and tripped and fell on the park ground (the part where there’s basically a bunch of tiny rocks on/in the floor). Meng was also trying to do that thing where two people hold a person’s arms and legs and swing them back and forth with me but forgot that if you take someones legs off the floor with no one else holding my arms, i would fall head first onto the park ground, which i did. Both times I laughed at myself but everyone rushed to me while laughing. Idk why but it made me feel like I was ok and safe, even if i was in so much pain, srsly i couldve had a concussion.

- Rachel and I both got excited bc we both wanted to got to the same college

-I call andy when im walking home by myself at night (or when the route im taking doesn’t necessarily hv a lot of people of lights) and he just vibes with me (sometimes talks to me abt how i should b home) until i get home safely

-idk if i already put this but Andy and I have a safe word when we think there might be someone behind us following us at night bc one time when walking home we thought tht and used our now safe word to see if there was someone

-Rachel and Dina do this thing where they take their hand and go from the side of someone else’s body (where the arms are) to the bottom of their legs rly fast while theyre walking. They call it “full body stroke”. They shared it w me and now we do it to meng almost every time we go out. Sometimes we do it together (one person per side).

-While at Central Park there was a dude that was singing (he was rly good). He started singing “Lean on me” by Bill Withers and my friends started singing along with him.

-Rachel sent me a tiktok knowing full well that itd make me gay panic bc yk ✨w o m e n✨

-Dina, Alan, and I stayed out after everyone else went home cus yk they were tired. Dina and I decided to talk like white girls/pick me girls the rest of the night with their stereotypical voices. We laughed the entire time and created weird storylines including: Jessica (Dina), Olivia (me), Jayden (Jessica’s boyfriend and brother that created on Jessica with me and Nicole), Nicole (Jessica’s friend), Olivia’s dad (a convicted felon in all 50 states and is dead), Jessica’s dad (a lawyer that’s also running for president, and Alan (he was just roped into our bs and was there to act like the dude that we both wanted to have as our bf).

- When we were in the bathroom and washing our hands, Dina waited until after the other woman in the bathroom to leave before coming up to me and, in a discreet whisper, told me that the soap was what “good pussy sounds like”

- Rachel, Dina, and I saw a few cats on our way to meet up with Alan and we played w the cats for a bit before one of them said “pspspspsp come here alan” to one of the cats. We now do this frequently to each other even though we hate it.

- We have corrupted each other to the point where we cannot hang out without someone saying “that’s what she said”, something about Dina being white, “just like this dick”, and “deez nuts”. We laugh about it a lot

- Rachel and I are both reasonably out of energy both mentally and physically after our jobs so when I walked w her to a mall w the rest of her friends, we both walked silently with a bit of catching up cause we both understood how the other felt

-We had a water balloon fight today at work (Alan, Rachel, and I work together). Obviously, I took the chance to pop as many balloons over rachel’s head and dump water on her. She tried to spray me w water using a water gun though. Afterwards gave the towel i brought to rachel cause she needed it to change. It’s important to note that rachel has purple hair right now and that the towel was white. key word: was. The towel was now stained a light purple (I dont mind but damn)

- i made rachel a purple raccoon by crocheting it (purple and pink actually). I finished it yesterday (sunday) and gave it today to her at work (monday). I opened the door a bit and peeked my head in with the raccoon just below me in my hands. She was confused at first but then saw the raccoon and her eyes lit up. It was rly cute🥰🥺 to see her get excited. We both nicknamed the raccoon “pimp jr.” and i made a lil name tag/from to tag that said it.

- rachel likes to lip-sync to music shes either listening to or hears in store and sometimes does a little dance with it. Its so cute and I love looking at her do it because it reminds me of why I adore her. She also goes hard when it comes to singing at karaoke. Like damn her vocal range is astounding

- dina got so excited when i asked her if she wanted to binge watch all the twilight movies with me. She looked so cute cus its one of her favorite movies. ugh i love my friends.

-a lot of dudes have crushes on rachel and dina and the both of them usually just try their best to avoid the person or avoid confronting them. Idk why but it kinda makes me feel grateful that I’m close friends with them because I used to have a crush on both of them before when we first met. When I told them i used to have crushes on them they didn’t act weird about it or anything and we continued to be friends. I’m so fucking grateful I’m their friend despite my initial crush on them cause they’re two of them most amazing people I’ve met my entire life.

-rachel, meng, alan, and I went to go watch Shang Chi in movies. In the last few scenes (which were v tense btw) rachel nd I both got rly anxious and squeezed each others hands bc we were scared out favorite characters were gonna get hurt. She squeezed the fuck out of my hand to the point where I couldn’t feel it anymore and neither could she. I’m ok with that though cus I’m glad she finds comfort in squeezing the living fuck out of my hands.

-dina, rachel, and I have matching bracelets from hot topic and i see them wear it almost every time we hang out. Alan and I have a matching pair too but I dont think he’s going to wear it very much (issok tho).

-We went to karaoke yesterday and I dont know how I just realized this but while she’s singing, dina likes to move around a lot. It’s not exactly dancing but not particularly just moving around. Its kinda like that tiny thing ppl do when they’re alone and playing their favorite songs on blast. She’s so cute when she does it, esp because she seems so happy when she does it. Even though I absolutely despise Justin Bieber, I would play his songs over and over again on blast if it made her as happy as she has made me.

-dina and I like to go to the swings and blast “Happier Than Ever” with earbuds in (we share a pair for this) and she screams along to it for the second half

-it’s become a “tradition” for us to go to the swings (most of time) after we’ve done the initial things we already planned out because dina and I love the swings.

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Intermission 1 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentioned/implied abuse; Pesterlogs, No seriously this entire chapter is just logs, swear the next chapters at least a third finished but in the meantime this bit got way out of hand so here 

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

— excerpt of chatlog from group chat “assholes anonymous” 6/13/2015 —

GG: And I’m afraid that’s all Roxy and I know. She got a call from Terezi yesterday saying that she would need to wait a few days before coming down to visit again.

GT: Holy toledo! Christ on a cracker i really picked a bad time to study abroad didnt i. So much happened while i was gone!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is online! —

GT: I feel like a right fool for not checking my messages from anyone while i was away but i was just so overwhelmed by how many there were and so tired out from being in another country and all.

GT: Oh!

TG: DIRK

TG: motherfucker tell me whats goin on!!!!

GG: There you are! Is everything alright?

TT: Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine, give me a minute.

TT: Well. No. That’s wrong.

TT: Everything’s pretty much gone to shit, but everyone’s alive, somehow, and for the time being things have cooled the fuck off.

TG: aaaaaah now im even more scared what happened?!!

GT: Er its good to be back but the girls have been filling me in on whats played out in my absence and im afraid im on roxys side here what in the devilfucking dickens is going on exactly?

GG: Thirded!

TT: I take it you didn’t get around to reading the messages I sent you then, Jake?

TT: Which is fine. I kind of figured. Whatever.

TT: Short version: There was an attempt to reclaim Dave by some of the old man’s lackeys.

TT: An attempt which Dave knew about well in advance.

TG: oh shit

TG: oh shit dave nooooo D:

GG: Oh, goodness.

TT: I caught him having a panic attack in the kitchen, during the middle of the night on the twelfth. He managed to tell me essentially that we had four hours to prepare, and then we’d be under attack.

TT: He was planning on going with the quietly, apparently, but changed his mind at the last minute, I guess.

TT: Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he told us, but…Ugh.

TT: It seemed like he was starting to get a little better, finally, and then this huge fucking setback hits.

TT: It’s frustrating.

GT: I’ll say it is! Gosh dirk im so sorry i missed so much of the leadup to this.

GT: Getting the poor boy back after ten years only for him to be such a mess and to finally get somewhere only to lose so much progress…

TG: aaaaaaaugh

TG: i mean is it really a setback though? he still told you!

TG: ive been having the hardest time getting him to talk about anything that happened to him and i think he n i get on pretty well

TG: he still chose to stay with us!

TT: Yeah, and it only took him two fucking months to do so. I don’t even know if he made that choice because he actually wants to be here.

TT: It’s more like he just decided we’re the lesser of two evils.

GG: Well, that’s better than nothing, right?

TT: Ha.

TT: Sure, I guess. Pardon me if I’m not thrilled, though.

TG: diiiiiirk

TG: dirk chill out a little like i get it but seriously!

TG: trust me dave doesnt want to be mean to anybody

TT: Of course he doesn’t.

TT: I’m not mad at Dave at all, don’t get me wrong.

TT: This is my fault.

GT: Now wait just a moment there strider!

GG: How on Earth is any of this your fault? It sounds to me like you made the best of a bad situation! Dave’s the only one who knew about this!

TT: It all goes back to that first meeting at the police station.

TT: I set the precedent. Made everything a him-versus-us, with Karkat his only ally.

TT: He doesn’t trust us because I somehow said exactly the wrong thing to him back in that interrogation room.

TG: im sure thats not it

TG: dirk hes not one to hold a grudge like you and rose are theres gotta be another reason

TT: I’d be happy to hear it, then, because I’m fucking clueless.

TT: Of all the problems I’ve tried to solve, my own fucking brother is proving the most enigmatic.

TT: He’s the fucking labyrinth at Crete, and I don’t have nearly enough fucking yarn to get through this.

TT: And apparently I’m a fucking outlier in that respect. Roxy’s figured Dave out, the fucking aliens get along with him fine, and apparently even Rose made up with him while my back was turned, because he’s been following her around all day, even though she ripped into him yesterday over Kanaya.

TT: Who, by the way, is a fucking vampire now. I feel like I’m losing brain cells just writing that, but there it is.

TT: I’m sharing the house with a literal alien vampire. I’m officially one of the side characters in my aunt’s trashy books.

TG: dirk dude im telling you dave isnt as complicated as you keep making him out to be!

TG: hes not a puzzle that needs to be solved hes just a scared kid!

TT: Why is he still scared, then? Why?

TT: I believe you, but how do I make him be not scared?

TT: Why the fuck can’t I understand my own brother!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is offline —

GG: Oh no.

GT: Jesus jumping jehosaphat!

— timaeusTestified [TT] is online —

TT: Sorry.

TT: Got a little too worked up, hit my desk hard enough that something came unplugged.

TG: dirk

TG: dirk.

TG: holy shit.

TT: I’m, uh, also sorry that I actually hit enter on those last few posts. That was kind of shitty. I’ll get a lid on it.

GT: You gave us all quite a fright there!

GG: I’ll say.

GG: You shouldn’t feel bad, though! I for one am glad you were honest!

GG: Maybe we can all figure out something! If Rose got things sorted out after the rocky start you mentioned, then I’m sure you can, too!

TG: have you tried talkin to him yet

TT: Oh, yeah, because talking to him went so well last time.

TT: Look, I appreciate the advice. But at this point,

TT: I’m pretty much prepared to just accept that he wants nothing to do with me.

TT: Can’t really blame him. I look like the old man. Probably set off enough bad memories that I’m just going to scare him worse.

TT: I’ll just stay out of his way as best I can.

TG: dirk that is literally the exact opposite of what you should be doing

GT: Well i dont know roxy it might work out better that way.

GT: Give the lad his space and let him settle in on his own time!

GT: Let the air clear a bit before trying anything you know?

TG: jake trust me dave needs a lot of really explicit verbal reassurance

TG: he is the scaredest fucking kid you can imagine okay

TG: he apologizes for things that arent even things that should be apologized for

TG: and says hes sorry again even after you tell him hes done nothing wrong just to be extra sure

TG: and he wont do anything unless you specifically tell him hes allowed

TG: and even then hes super cautious about it

GG: Gosh…

TT: Exactly.

TT: If he’s that scared, me forcing him into a conversation is only going to make things worse. It’s not going to be a productive talk if he’s completely shut down.

TT: I’ll figure it out, alright? Just.

TT: I need to rethink things, maybe. Slow down a little.

TT: It’s just a setback. We’ll recover.

TG: uuuuugh

TG: this whole things such a mess :(

TG: let me know when im allowed to come over and hug on him again will you?

TT: Sure thing.

TG: hug him yourself in the meantime!

TT: Probably not a great idea, Rox.

TG: >:(

— excerpt of chatlog from group chat “who you gonna call” 6/13/2015 —

EB: geez. thats pretty crazy.

EB: i cant believe dave would put you guys all in danger like that.

GG: im sure he didnt mean to!

TT: I agree, actually, Jade.

GG: :0 !!!

EB: really?

TT: I spoke to Dave after all the carnage ended, and I’ve come to realize that I’ve been completely misinterpreting his behavior.

TT: I’ve been viewing everything he does through the lens of my own behavior and Dirk’s, and assuming that everything he did which irritated me was done out of some form of antagonism.

TT: Yesterday, I learned exactly how far off I’ve been, and I’d like to apologize for sharing that mistaken impression with you two.

TT: The problem hasn’t been that Dave is holding some petty grudge. It’s that he’s been scared.

GG: :(

GG: :( :( :(

EB: scared? dave?

TT: Terrified, even.

TT: He was literally so frightened when I confronted him that he could barely move.

GG: oh no! rose!

TT: I apologized, I promise, and I’ve been trying to reign myself in around him now that I know there is fear at foot.

TT: I’m a little horrified myself, frankly, at how bad things must be for him.

EB: but if hes so scared why didn’t he just tell you guys sooner?

TT: He’s scared both ways, essentially. Terrified of what we’ll do to him if he breaks some rule here, terrified of what our father will do to him.

TT: I had expected trauma from the beginning, but when it didn’t present in the ways I expected, I assumed he was just fine.

TT: But this is…

TT: It’s as if his fear responses, even his fight or flight reflex, are just…broken.

TT: Like I said, when I confronted him, his eyes were huge and terrified, but he made no move to defend himself, nor did he try to escape. He just…braced himself. Readying himself for a blow that I had no intention of ever delivering, but which he dreaded more with every second it didn’t come.

TT: Ever since, I’ve been paying attention to his body language, since it’s so hard to read his expressions when he’s got those sunglasses on, and I’ve noticed so many times where he tenses up, so suddenly and to such an extreme that I’m surprised it doesn’t physically hurt him.

TT: And it’s not just for legitimate potential threats, like someone looking angry. He does it for the slightest sounds, for random movements, sometimes seemingly for no reason at all.

TT: Hes like some feral animal, constantly thinking he’s going to be hunted, and yet, he can’t run. He just sits there and waits for the blow to land, hoping that if he simply takes whatever punishment is thrown on him, it will end sooner.

TT: And all I can think is just…

TT: What kind of hell has he been through for these past ten years that he reacts to things as simple as a creaking floorboard or a waving hand makes him think he’s going to be attacked?

TT: What did that son of a bitch do to my brother?

EB: jesus.

GG: D:

EB: i always knew that things were bad for dave but i didnt think it was any where near that bad!

GG: hes not in too much trouble is he??

TT: Not at all.

TT: Terezi let him off with a warning, and there’s not much else we can do to him, besides. He’s already under house arrest.

TT: He knows what he did wrong.

GG: thats good! i wonder why he waited so long to tell the truth though?

TT: I’m pretty sure at this point that he was never intending on telling us.

EB: what! why not!

TT: I don’t think he believes he has a choice. He did tell Dirk what happened while having a panic attack, after all. I suspect it may have been something similar to the sort of terror that strikes when you realize it’s the end of a vacation period from school, and you’re not ready to go back yet.

TT: Except, you know, way worse, on account of it being abuse at the hands of a literal terrorist he would have to return to.

TT: He said something that stuck with me, when I asked, and he seemed very genuinely sad when he said it.

TT: “It doesn’t matter what I want. He’s going to come back for me again.”

TT: He’s so resigned to a fate that he is not actually doomed to.

EB: wow :(

TT: But on the bright side,

TT: I think he’s starting to realize that we really aren’t going to hurt him.

GG: yeah?

TT: He’s been following me around like a lost puppy all day. He jumps whenever I move too quickly, but he’s actually here in the room with Kanaya and I right now. The two of them have been chatting on and off for a while.

TT: I suspect it may be just that he hasn’t worked up the courage to talk to Karkat yet, but even so, he seems like he’s testing a boundary.

TT: Pushing to see if I really am no longer angry with him. It’s certainly a welcome change from his usual habit of hiding in his own bedroom.

GG: oh gosh!! can you tell him i said hi?

EB: holy shit hes right with you? get him online!

TT: John, he’s not allowed to use a computer, remember?

EB: fuck!

EB: tell him i said hi too, then!

GG: looool

TT: Done.

TT: He lit up a little, and mumbled a “Hi” right back.

GG: :D

EB: lol, dork.

TT: He says “This coming from John ‘unironically likes Nick fucking Cage’ Egderp.”

EB: >:B !!!!

— golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] —

GT: Hey, um.

GT: I know this is probably not something you really want to hear just now, but i really do want to apologize.

GT: I just got so distracted and worn out while abroad, and you always send so damned many messages, i didnt have the energy to read them all.

TT: It’s fine.

GT: No it isnt! Dirk i know how hugely important getting dave home has been to you ive known for ages!

GT: And whatever tumultuous relationship status we may currently be sharing youre still my best bro and i feel like a right horse’s arse for not being here for you during such a rollercoaster of a rough time!

TT: It’s alright, really. I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s wholly unnecessary.

GT: I promise ill at least try and check my messages more and keep more up to date on the situation.

GT: Let me know if theres any way i can help alright?

TT: Sure.

TT: Welcome home, by the way. It’s nice to talk to you again.

GT: Likewise!

— twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling grimAuxilitrix [GA] —

TA: TZ told me two me22age you, and by that ii mean 2he woke me up wiith a text 2aying ‘talk two kanaya a2ap a22hole 2hit2 gone down’.

TA: 2o what exactly ii2 goiing on.

GA: Um

GA: Well Im A Rainbow Drinker Now

TA: oh.

TA: you know what actually fuck thii2 iim goiing back two 2leep.

— twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling grimAuxilitrix [GA] —

[celestialallstars]

Episode #14: “It's certainly been a day here on Celestial” - Stephen

I think right now, Jared sort of saw it coming, Stephen saw it coming, and I saw it coming. I knew three of us were not making it to the end. I think the troubling thing for me is that like now there are 5 people who all kinda came together to purposefully exclude 2 of us. I won't cry about it- all of us are guilty of it in this merge. Instead, what I will do is just use it to justify what I do from here on out. I've already identified the clusters of Michael/Chloe and then Zach/Bryce. Will be thinking about who to target between these and I most definitely see  Loris as a recent addition. For now, I'll continue to act oblivious and dumb

________________________________________________________________

I know what I'm gonna do, but I'll sleep on it. I think I want to make Bryce/Zach have faith in me again. Think I am gonna be with them. Heck, even have some Gay F4 thing with Loris. I've already told people about the duos, so I want Loris to think I'd prefer him over everybody else (talk in the morning). Bryce, I played the "we are winners, i wanna go to the end with you" card. Zach is who I'll have to work on next...Then there is Michael and Chloe. I'll just keep saying I'm in both of their corners, make them all feel comfortable pretty much, but not sloppily. If it can get me to F6, so be it, in which case, I'll get to decide which of these strats I stick to and move on. I want to  keep this idol for as long as possible, but if I have to, I'll play it, but I can't do it now- it is far too soon.

________________________________________________________________

I feel like this is the game in which people make their moves too early. Bryce, Zach, Rhys all attempted this and got callout for it. Now Loris, Michael, and Chloe are doing it. Had the 3 waited like one more tribal, they'd have sat more pretty in F6 bar the idol and all but now they exposed themselves and what do we say to people who are exposed? That they are threats to everyone else! So my best pitch is to tell Bryce/Zach its in our best interest to work together at least for this vote.

________________________________________________________________

Whether this is the round that kills the game of me or not I just wanna show that like, when I am put into corner, I tend to up the strategy and right this moment, I feel like I am doing that- I just hope it will work

________________________________________________________________

So far I actually feel I may have to use my idol if push comes to shove. Mayhe it'll curry favor if I do but lol I know that the Brits may be together, thats fine. But like at least pretend to still be interested so I won't go after you? Michael says he is open but just by taking to him I could really tell he's sorta had his mind made up, Chloe is like "oh we'll see, rounds are changing always!" and Loris, who clearly got on earlier suddenly fell silent and went offline since I tried talking to him. I'll tell ya what, even if Zach and Bryce are lying, they can at least fake it right

________________________________________________________________

I actually now sympathize for Jack and Matt. Although we ALL (them included) could have handled their situation better, I do know what it is like to be in their position and to know I didnt help them as much makes me think my position now is karmic justice

WELL. Yesterday I was slightly blindsided. I knew Jared wasn't long for this world but to take him out with Bryce and Zach both standing there, totally vulnerable, well... I can't help but feel like it's a mistake.

I never had much loyalty to the gay agenda anyway, but it feels like we were used just to take out Rhys? Which is dumb but whatever. If you were going to use us for one vote why make it Rhys?

In any case, I once again need to adapt myself to the new battle lines. I tried to reconcile things with Bryce and I think it went alright? I told him I've been on his ass since F10 and he didn't seem too pissed about it. I know Zach was mad at me though, so I offered him a trip to Final Tribal in exchange for mending the fence. He didn't say yes right away so there's still a chance of him declining, but I feel like I'm making a better offer than Betty White and Loris. I think this will work, tbh, and I do plan on staying loyal to it unless it becomes abundantly clear I'll lose to him.

It really sucks to feel like I came close again to an immunity and lost again. The good thing for last time was that I didn't feel like I was in danger and now I am. All people will claim they will do something, though until it's actually done, you never know. So I guess now I've got to put a lot of faith in Zach and Bryce to keep me or maybe I should just use the idol and be a okay, I'm not sure. I think I have to continue maintaining hope, but I don't see my odds looking good and it sucks

________________________________________________________________

I quickly decided I'm gonna go all in. I either play it now and become easy vote for F6 or I save it and somehow surprisingly live this round and increase odds of living in the next. I think if I go home with the idol this time, I won't feel too bad since the chances of me having gone home without it for F6 would've been high. If I do not make it, then you know, I honestly can't really say I "regret" something. I did good in mastermind, and feel a okay for how I did!

im so sad jared gone i cant win im just sitting here waiting for my time to be up like wow this is so fun i love this for me KJFHKADSJ

hi girls I’m so sorry I’m really busy today I promise. I’ll catch up tomorrow if I’m still here. I’m scared. this could be my last confessional. signing off....

AHHHH SO MUCH GOING ON I FORGOT TO DO THIS HEHE. So I won my first individual immunity in celestial go Michael and now the vote is looking crazy as fuck so I’m so fucking lucky to have immunity at this point sksksksksksk. So it’s looking like shits gonna hit the fan but I really want bryce and zach out of this damn game like are you fucking serious guys like you wanted them out they’re clearly bigger threats get your act together. So I’m questioning my path to the end yet again but do you know what? I’m hopeful everyone loves an underdog and I just need to do the best I can to get to that final 3 (or at least the final 4 so people do a jury roundtable about me hehe)

It's certainly been a day here on Celestial. Pretty soon we're heading to yet another tribal council. The plans as I know them are as follows:

The Gay Agenda (Me/Chris/Michael/Chloe/Loris) will be voting for Bryce! Except no. Because I don't really want Bryce to go anymore. At least not tonight. Me and Chris decided we'd rather take a shot at the 3 people who flipped last time to weaken their position a little bit. No.

Tonight, I'll be voting for Loris, hopefully, with Zach and Bryce. I know from Chris and Jared that he doesn't particularly trust me and has considered voting me out in the past. He's also well positioned to make it to the end at the rate things are going so if I can just end that possibility tonight, it'd be real nice.

ok so like this vote i just wanted to vote out stephen i leaked everything from chris/stephen to everyone else in hopes they'll vote stephen. i know they were targeting bryce prior but UGH. bryce is gonna do loris i think to secure 3 votes on him. i feel like this will backfire.

but like im here to have fun and play my game. i want stephen out, then boom. imma try. if they still vote bryce, then so be it. imagien if it ties 3-3-1 (bryce/loris/stephen HASGLDSKGDSGDS).

idk.

I FEEL SO BAD BUT WHO CARES IM HAVING FUN THIS IS A PARTY

theres not much to say. if i survive, im going hard for f6 just to ensure myself f4.

but my plan is sorta this. vote stephen out now. bryce leaves 6th (or michael) michael/bryce fifth n then unless chris wins f4, i probs make f3 with chloe/loris, which has been my ideal f3 for a few rounds now.

if bryce leaves this round, thats perfectly fine bc then one of stephen or smsth leaves next round. i wanted michael out this round but he immune so who cares.

High risk, high payoff move

________________________________________________________________

So much cracked shit has gone down today. Obviously Chris and Stephen might be feeling a little nervy after the Jared vote which is understandable. However they did not need to go and make an alliance called crystal clear and approach Bryce and Zach about targeting me and Loris considering Michael is immune. Sis I almost flipped my ass right back on Stephen and Chris and almost be voting Stephen tonight despite knowing Bryce is a big ass threat. If they had of just kept their mouth silent then both of them would’ve definitely been in final 6 but nooo they had to go do some crazy shit that made Loris massively fucking paranoid. Stephen I stg if u don’t vote Bryce tonight and if he doesn’t go home then I will fucking haunt ur ass.

________________________________________________________________

ME AND MICHAEL ARE NOT A FUCKING DUO

________________________________________________________________

I adore Michael with my whole whole whole entire heart he’s one of my favourite allies I’ve ever had and I trust him with my fucking life. There’s not many people I trust in orgs to make an F2 with nvm make an F2 with and then honour that. But with Michael I cannot see myself betraying him.

________________________________________________________________

Idk who to vote for this revote. I’m tired.

In an attempt to get my vote to stay, Loris threatened to give a legacy advantage to Bryce if we kept him in. Since Michael knows about this, it's going to be difficult to get any votes put on him at all this round, but I might still be able to turn this situation around.

The truth is, I kinda wanted to get Zach out before Bryce anyway. He's every bit as threatening as Bryce in challenges, and has admitted to trying to get me out at this last tribal council. I did try to re-build the strategic relationship with Zach by voting Loris out, but it looks like I have to take another path. I just hope Michael and Chloe don't side with Zach since they also know about the legacy advantage.

How I approach this vote is really going to come down to immunity. If Bryce or Zach wins, I may have to just bite the bullet and vote Michael this round, since with immunity and the legacy advantage they'll be invincible. However, if one of the other 4 players can pull it off, I think I can avoid this scenario. I think if that happens we'd just split the vote one more time between Zach and Bryce and vote out whoever isn't saved by the advantage.

And hey, if Chris needs to use the idol? Fine by me at this point. Saving it for F5 is a cute idea but it may not be practical at that point. This is the much more worrying vote in my opinion, since, if Bryce does have the legacy advantage, he can't get voted out here anyway, and will continue to be a target at F5 and F4.

________________________________________________________________

Loris is voted out 3-3-1, 3-2. He becomes the sixth member of our jury.

Watch Loris’ exit interview take place below:

[pbandjesse]

I feel like I slept all day. Just the whole day. But thats not entirely true. It was a good day and I feel happy but yes slept a real good amount. 

I woke up at 730 because I still had my alarm on. I laid in bed for a bit but eventually did get up. I honestly dont remember much of the morning. What did I even do?? 

I got dressed. I felt really cute. James asked if he could make me breakfast but I wasnt hungry. He would have to leave for work soon but we spent a little time together. 

It was a nice morning but yeah I have apparently lost some time but it was a nice morning. 

I did eventually get myself together to go to target! I had a list. I felt really cute. I went and got in the car. I got down the street. And I realzied I forgot the list. Ugh. Whatever I would end up remembering everything anyway but I was annoyed with myself.

It was a nice ride out. But target was very full. I parked in an empty part but it wouldnt matter because when I came out it was all full there too!! Wild. 

I had a nice time though. I had to keep running through my head thinking about what I needed. 

I got socks and citronella candles and some foods. It was nice to look around and walk and pick up nonsense. I felt really good about my purchases. 

I also got new ear buds! My fake airpods have been slowly dying and hurting my ears. And I got some new ones that are made for smaller ears and honestly they are great so far. Great fit, great sound, I just hope the batter life is as good as promised. 

The cashier was real nice too. He gave me $5 off and then a $5 giftcard?? No idea why. He said he had been waiting weeks to give to someone so maybe it was just because I was nice to him?? Unclear. But I appreciate it.

I texted James when I was done and he said I should order lunch. So I ordered chipolite. Give them another chance after my last order was so messed up. And this time was only marginally better. 

I got home around noon. And my food was scheduled for 1220. Cool. Gives me some time to put things away. So I get inside and did that. Unpacked. Had to throw some old stuff away from the freezer to fit things. And folded all my new socks. And then I realized it was after 1220. I checked the website and it said my food wasnt even picked up yet. 

But it was fine. I waited. I checked again at 1239 and it said it would be delivered in 2 minutes. I checked again and it said it was delivered! They didnt ring the bell?? I felt very annoyed about that. 

But I got my food. And the bowl was right. But my chips and cheese were missing. This is the second time!! Why cant they get this right?? So I was slightly upset. I called the number and they refunded that part of the order. I just want chips and cheese. Made me upset. 

But I ate and played a little animal crossing. Hung out with sweetP. I talked to my dad for fathers day. He sounded so happy. Like a lot happier then Ive heard him in a while. And honestly, we talked about the back ground white noise of pain when you just have chronic pain issues, and now that he doesnt have that as much his energy and focus can be back on being present. And it was so nice hearing his stories and hearing about his hobbies he's picked up. I miss him a lot and it was so nice to hear him. 

I cleaned after that. Feels a lot better in here after that. Could have used a little more work but I was tired. 

I went and laid in the studio and ended up falling asleep. 

I woke up around 630. Which means I slept almost 3 hours. Not ideal. But James was home. He was baking cookies and getting ready for his trivia night. 

I had a snack and hung out in the other room. It is always nice hearing him with his friends. 

We are hanging out now. I have my first day of camp tomorrow!! Im going to go wash my face and make sure all my outfits are ready. I am really excited. Also nervous. But mostly excited!! I have to be there at 730 though so it is going to be a very early morning for me. So wish me luck. I hope you all have a great night tonight. And a wonderful day tomorrow. Goodnight everyone!

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 11: “Recalibrate How I’m Playing This Game” - Caeleb

okay I'm writing a long confessional then going to bed.

Jules was robbed. I was really gonna idol them when Jones/Caeleb told me Jules was getting votes, but Jules was only getting 5, and I naively thought both that Jason wasn't going to flip and Tom wouldn't self vote AGAIN ASKDLJFAF.

I'm frustrated because I love Jules. Jules was robbed and deserved better than having to deal with Alex who like will tell Jules they made a mistake and ugh. I'm frustrated that I didn't idol Jules, even though it wouldn't have been smart and would've put me in a tough game spot, its just all super tricky sigh.

in other news, Jones/Mo/Mitch need to go. I'm super proud of Mo for doing something (like genuinely) and not playing passively, I defo underestimated him, but him and Jones have way too much sway on this tribe, tied to Mitch who is clearly able to work people.

I think a good end-group for me would be Me/Benj/Tom/Julia. I really really like Caeleb but he actually is playing super smart, so I really don't think I can have him sticking around much longer.

I think a good new bootlist is: Jones > Mitch > Mo > Jason > Caeleb

I'm just frustrated because Jules was robbed and really did not deserve that, Mo/Jones are too powerful, and now so is Mitch. I'm gonna idol one of them out, and I'm going to love doing it.

Holy fuck what the fuck that worked. Ok so here’s what just went down, Jules said to Jason that she’d be fine voting out either me or Mitch. People were leaning towards Mitch. We had like 20 minutes left and we started discussing and I threw out to Jones, what if we get Jules out, but she kinda ignored it and carried on with the Mitch plan. Because Jules has a lot of connections I can understand why Jones would be hesitant. So then I throw the pitch rob Caeleb and Mitch throws the pitch to Jason and they’re both on board. But that would of only been five people. Meaning it most likely would of tied so we were like ok I guess we’ll just vote Mitch. BUT THEN BENJ GETS ONLINE and he’s like “Yeah I’ll vote Jules.” SO I SCRAMBLE BACK TO CAELEB LIKE WAIT VOTE JULES WE HAVE THE NUMBERS. SAME WITH JONES AND JASON. WE GET JULES OUT. Which of course is sad because she’s literally a sweetheart and she’s super funny, but she had so many people in her corner and her and Ali combined was a scary combo. BUT I MEAN I HAVE A COOL GAME MOVE IN MY POCKET NOW THAT I DID (with Mitch) BUT WOW ME.

Whew chile!!! I must admit that vote was VERY scary and VERY hectic. I thought for a moment my game was ending. Thankfully my social relationships with people allowed me to stay and send the person who was targeting me home (Jules). Now this is GREAT for me because i trusted Jules the least on the merge tribe. The communication thing never worked out between the two of us but i still find her to be a very nice person :). In regards to the vote, Mo/Caeleb, Benj, Jason, and Jones all voted to save me. To me, I feel like this means im in a really good position because everyone likes me enough to SAVE me. Up until 5 minutes before the deadline, I thought i was done for. I gotta be careful with who I work with in the future because my threat level is rising. People in touchy subjects saw me as the one who thinks they are running the game but are not, but man is this far from the truth. I'd like to say that although I didn't know what was going on COMPLETELY, I still pretty much helped/forced the target onto the person who went home. Ian- Told Alex about how I suspected Jason and Ian of being a duo (correct assumption according to ali) and everyone ended up splitting between the two (I did not care who went). Alex- I pushed very hard for alex to go because he was so dang controlling and i found that very threatening. Jules- targeted me first but I never trusted her because of how little we spoke. When she decided to target me it was the icing on the cake. Hopefully these next few rounds are smooth sailing because we NEED easy votes for at least a little bit.

okay so i am trying SO hard for immunity, like its not even funny. i think i have 100+ points right now, with more videos uploading and with more planned photos tomorrow. immunity would be SO sweet, because that'd guarantee me a spot in the F8, and with my idol F7.

in other news. if i haven't said it enough, it must be said again. BENJ IS SUCH A KING. like today he told me he wants to go to F4 with Julia and Tom. I truly, truly could have shed and wept real tears. That is exactly the F4 I want, like EXACTLY ,and Benj agrees, and we are going to make it HAPPEN.

He also wants to separate Mo/Jones this round... and like honestly, I'm so down. Like I think he wants to vote off Mo versus Jones which I think is a bad idea, since Jones is a better talker and more of a threat, but his argument about Jones being a shield makes some sense.

my ideal bootlist moving forwards for the season, although it requires like julia/tom to stick with me and benj pretty tightly, is:

Mo/Jones > Mitch > Jason > Mo/Jones > Caeleb > F4: Me/Tom/Benj/Julia

and also since i love doing this for no reason, this would be my ranking of those left if i was to go to jury this round:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Benj > Caeleb > Julia > Mo > Tom

Mitch is SO savvy, and so likable, and I could see as a definite winner, having survived so much. I can't decide if Jones is a threat because she is just so likable, or if she is actually palying super well, but I have both her and Jason very high in my opinion. Benj is so smart, I feel like he probably isn't considered as such by the other threats, but I hear him talk game - he is super woke. Caeleb is actually playing a very smart game too, flipping back and forth. I definitely underestimated him in early merge, his MIND. Julia I think is super game-savvy, just her style gets in her own way sometimes. Mo I feel like definitely did stuff last vote, but I see him as Jones' shadow/goat right now so would need to see much more. Tom I'm stuck because him self-voting twice I think almost definitely excludes him from winning so its hard to tell how I'd feel about him in an FTC. the main thing is that... we shall see.

BUT I AM WINNING IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sending this now bc I forgot. Jason beat me in reward OOPS but I can still possibly win immunity,,,,,? Maybe?

Eek me at jules being voted out, honestly i didnt really know what was going to happen at that tribal for the sole fact that everything started moving whilst i was asleep but im kinda shocked that it ended up being jules.... Like i personally wouldnt have made that move right now maybe in like 2 more rounds. Its quite scary the fact that mitch got so many people to turn on jules when i thought she was quite the loved player. So I've gotta keep an eye out for him he's probably playing the best game atm but i think ill try to take him out sooner rather than later

I think I might have to recalibrate how I’m playing this game. I honestly didn't think I was all that close to Jules so her cursing me kinda surprised me. SO, that means I think a lot of people are gonna be cursing me in the upcoming rounds. Not that I am planning a lot of blindsides, I just feel a lot closer to the people actually left. Julia might be the only one that wouldn't curse me at this point, but also she might because she doesn't like me all that much. And being cursed a bunch might put a really large target on my back too.

y'all i just found another idol im SCREECHING. and its a boujee one too, a sapphire idol. I'm so AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i know where 2/3 idols are for sure, I'm truly screaming.

This was me an Mitch on call when we realized we had the numbers to vote out Jules

heres the thing, i prefer the selfie scavenger hunt when im on a team because that way im motivated to get stuff done out of fear of letting everyone down. where as by myself, i let myself down all the time. ali is scary good at comps and im lazy.

ALI FOUND THE MERGE IDOL AND ITS A SAPPHIRE IDOL AHHH!!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM/US BUT ALSO LOWKEY PISSED BECAUSE I GET ALL THE BRIDGE STEPS AND THEN HE GETS LUCKY AT THE VERY END LMAO. AGAIN.

BUT OH WELL ATLEAST ITS NOT SOMEONE ELSE!!

And if I had any doubts (I never had) about him betraying me before I have 0 now.. u like have to really trust someone to tell them u have 2 idols LOL I could literally expose so much right now

BUT IM NOT GONNA WOO!!! BEST DUO IVE EVER HAD! Like I know it will be hard to beat him at the end but idc I want that duo story for us

Literally an idol magnet king I knew I chose the best ally on day 1

sapphire idols sound kinda annoying tho cuz u cant choose who its played on . like what if ur plan actually works and u idol the person u wanted gone LOL

lowkey would rather a normal idol ?? anyways ali went off in immunity and its final 9 idk who will go but I kinda want like mo gone (king) but we have no strategic bond so.. plus he will slip by to the end otherwise

I doubt that plan is gonna work tho cuz idk how to lead votes!! im flop sheep!

Update on idol hunt - I'm killing johnny

Update apparently I’m running a vote KSKSKKFMFMFFK take back EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT NOT NEEDING POWER LMAOOOO

ok so Storytime

I’m talking to Tom at like 5:00-6:00 ish, and he says he hasn’t heard anything but he’d be down to vote Julia if other people were voting Julia (at this point this is the only name and it was said by Tom and that’s it)

At this point I tell Mo what Tom said (Bc tom and I were talking about Mo) and he said he wasn’t surprised Julia’s name was brought up

Talk to Mitch at like 7:00 ish and he’s apparenrly being targeted by Ali and for whatever reason I have this hero complex and I wanna save him all of a sudden?? I also feel like he’ll be a big shield down the road that everyone else would want out over me so it makes much more sense to keep him? SO I tell him about Julia.

I Run to Mo, tell him about Julia plan he’s on board. MOs talking to Caeleb, and Jason wouldn’t go behind Mitch’s back. So that’s already 5 people I think voting Julia, 6 if we include Tom and 7 if Benj also knows. Which I’ll probs tell him.

So ya??? Turned an idea into a plan!! I’m doing that y’all. Idk?? I’m proud. I don’t need need this much power after this round or else my ego will be the size of my dick but!!! Idk guys I’m proud of myself.

(Literally only 35 minutes later)

Literally having a stroke tonight laid ease

Uhm apparently Tom/Jason/Ali had an alliance and were trying to get me out and tried throwing me under the bus to Julia and tried saying shit I didn’t say,, so ya,,, :)

Tom tried twisting it like I was the one who threw Julia’s name out bc apparently she’s inactive? Which is cute,, I said jack shit about that. So ya.

Um I’m voting Tom tonight now. I’m an indecisive bitch tho so it might change but. Fuck Tom. We gotta break up this alliance apparently. Julia’s the only person that’s said shit to me this whole day about what’s happening so I’m more likely to believe her than anyone else sooo ya. Fuck Tom. Fuck these men.

[keepcalm-and-beyou]

Derek Hale Story (9)

Dinner with Derek:

Today is the day Derek and You chose to go on your second date. Derek asked you earlier this week to accompany him to dinner. Derek had texted you saying he will be picking you up at 6:30pm and to wear something nice.

 You texted back "don't I always look nice?? O.o LOL" shortly after you received a response saying " Of course you do, but look extra nice babe." You do as told. you love any chance to look your best.

 you rummage through your closet where you hang most of your sexy  and nice clothes. you chose a nice not over the top dress. you bent down search through all your shoes. finding a perfect pair of strappy shoes for your dress. you placed your outfit on your bed and went into your washroom stripping off the clothes on your body, running the shower water to the perfect temperature and stepping into the shower.

 one of the best things you love about showering is your shower radio. you turn it on and theres no need to find a station as it is already on your favorite you start singing along to the song playing. "we never learn, we've been here before, why are we always stuck and running from the bullet, the bullets" your put some shampoo in the palm of your hands and wash your hair awhile still singing " just stop your crying its the sign of the times, we gotta get away from here" you condition your hair and rinse. you start washing your body and shaving.

Another good song comes on before you know it your dancing and singing it to. " jump in the Cadillac girl lets put some miles on it, anything you want just put a smile on it" you finish your shower stepping out onto the shower mat. you dry off your hair and body you go to your sink and brush your teeth and hair before leaving the bathroom and entering your room.

 you get dressed in your nice dress and start doing your makeup. you finish getting ready and its almost time to go. you put on your heels and grab your clutch purse to go with your dress. .

 you go downstairs and sit on your couch. playing on your phone till Derek gets there. only a few minutes later theres a knock on your door, and assuming its Derek because well who else would it be. you smile excited to see derek and open the door to see..

Stiles. what the f you think and look behind him, back and fourth as if Derek would come up to your house any moment.

"ugh you just gonna stand there looking around or let me in" stiles asked.

you step aside letting the boy in.  " can I help you" you ask kind of annoyed and confused why stiles just  showed up at your door.

  stiles says. 

you gave him the biggest confused look ever. "what are you talking about" you ask still very much confused. stiles sighed.

"you know are connection for many things, like movies, as one example, there is a star wars marathon and dad wont let me watch it right now. it annoys him" stiles says ending with air quotations.

you burst out laughing. " oh so you thought you could come to my house and watch it on my tv" you state

"no Y/N I just came here to tell you my favorite movie series is on tv and my dad is being an ass." stiles says clearly full of sarcasm.

"oh well in that case thanks for letting me know bye" you sarcastically say back

Stiles has an offended look on his face while holding his hands to his heart.

"ouch, you don't want to spend time with your best friend" stiles asks in a fake hurt tone.

You chuckle at him. "stiles I love hanging out with you but I have plans already if you didn't notice the dress and heels I am wearing" you say.

Stiles looks you up and down and says "oh"

"yeah sorry Stiles Derek will be here any time now, I actually thought it was him knocking at the door"  you say politely.

"that's fine, you have fun with sour wolf, ill just watch the movies alone" stiles says walking into your living room and grabbing the remote to your tv. You follow him in the living room in a hurry

 " wait what, I never said "you started to say but were cut off from a knock on the door. You give stiles an obvious glare and went to answer the door. 

"Hey hun" you greeted the sexy Derek Hale

"Hey babe, you look beautiful" Derek smiles and you can feel his amazing eyes travelling your figure in the white dress you wore.

"Aw thank you, you look beautiful too" you chuckle

"Where's your snacks" you hear from inside your house.

"I am guessing stiles is here, I saw what sure looked to be his crap jeep parked and his scent" Derek says

"yeah he dropped by" you speak walking into  your home with Derek behind you most certainly enjoying his view.

Stiles comes form your kitchen with a mouth full of cheezies, while the bag of cheezies are in one hand and a can of soda in the other.

"Hey" Stiles spoke with bits of cheezie coming out of his mouth.

Derek looked at Stiles annoyed as ever.

"why is he here" Derek turned his face to you asking

Stiles out on his offended face once again this evening from Dereks question. you sigh and answer "he is just here to watch some movies as the sheriff is busy at home not wanting noise"

"I wouldn't want stiles around either" Derek smiled

"Don't be such a sour wolf" stiles says to Derek

Derek and stiles are glaring at each other. I guess that's our que to leave you thought.

"okay lets get going, and stiles if you make a mess im kicking your ass, then your sore ass is going to be cleaning the mess" you warn stiles

Stiles rolls his eyes walking into your living room. You and Derek head out the front door and into his car.

The drive was nice with small talk.

"I swear Stiles better behave at my house" you laugh

"if not, ill trip his throat out with my teeth" Derek tired saying in a serious tone but he soon smiled after saying that.

"thanks your the beats, gotta love a man that will kill your best friend for you" you laugh

"I would do anything for you" Derek says this time being one hundred percent serious

you give Derek a sweet smile and look out your window watching threes, houses, and stores passing by.

You guys arrive at the restaurant and Derek parks the car. He gets out of his car going to the passenger side to open the car door for you.

"Thank you" you say to Derek for being ever so kind.

You both walk hand in hand to a big dark brown builing that's in front of you. The building has huge tinted windows in the front of it. The door man held the front door for you and Derek. You both walked in the restaurant.

 The place has light wood floors, dark brown tables, and cream color chairs. The walls are dark brown as well and the ceiling is cream color with flowers all over the ceiling and shinning little lights sparkling all around.

"How can I help you" A older looking man asked.

"A table for two" Derek answered

"right this way" the man lead us to a table by one of the big walls of the building. Derek pulled your chair out for you to  take a seat. and you thank him. He smiles and sits down.

"A waiter will be right with you" the old man says leaving you two alone.

"This place is nice" you smile looking around. "Thank you for this date" you say turning to look back at Derek.

"Already thanking me and the date just started, I must be good" Derek laughs and you roll your eyes.

"yes your so great" you say sarcastically even though it is true he really is great heck more than great.

A waiter who looks in his early twenties came to your table handing you and Derek menus.

   "Is there anything I can get you two to drink" The waiter asked.

"I will have water" Derek responds

"And what can I get you beautiful" The waiter asks you and Derek tenses up a bit with a not so happy look on his face from this boy calling you beautiful.

Who does he think he is calling you that. He should not be able to talk to customers like that. How unprofessional. He cant just call you that in front of him, your his girlfriend, Wait, no your not, not yet anyways.. Derek's mind went a little wild at the waiters comment. And now he feels like an  idiot though you and the waiter have no insight in his head. He felt awkward and stupid for calling you his girlfriend even just in his head. He was so in thought he didn't even notice you answered the waiter and he had left to get both your drinks.  

"So what are you thinking of eating" You ask Derek while looking over your own menu

Derek takes a quick look at his menu "Steak probably" He answers

"that sounds good" You give a small smile. You both look at the menus for another minute. The waiter comes back with your drinks setting them down.

"so what can I get you both to eat" the waiter asks

"I will have the steak well done with side Caesar salad" Derek replies to the water and both the boys turn their heads to you awaiting your answer.

"And for you hun" the waiter asks

Derek clears his throat a little to make his presence known and takes a sip of his water. You  glance at Derek and than look back to the waiter and reply "i'll have the same, steak well done with Caesar salad"  

The waiter writes it down and takes your and Derek's menus and giving you a little smile. Derek gives the waiter boy a glare wile glancing at him as the waiter walks away. You gave Derek a questionable look seeing he glared at the waiter. Derek gives you a tiny smile like nothing happened and nothing is bothering him.

"Your weird" you say to Derek and chuckle

Derek raises his eyebrows at you " have you met yourself" he asks laughing. You furrow your eyebrows "Uh yeah I have and I think im pretty awesome" you smile.

"I am not disagreeing with that" he says and Derek takes a a hold of your hand smiling at you.

"so far are you liking it here" Derek asks you

"No. so far I am loving it here and being with you" you say being all cheesy

"good, if you didn't like it here we could of took off somewhere else" Derek says

"no no this is great babe" you smile big 

"How was your day, anything exciting happen" you asks Derek

"I worked out most of the time, and got my self ready for this date. the only exciting thing would be right now this date spending time with you" he replies

"well arnt you just a smooth talker" you laugh

"I guess, I make the truth sound smooth" he laughs.

The waiter bring the steak and salad you both ordered. The boy didn't acknowledge Derek but looked at you and said "enjoy your meal" with a smile and walked away.

You turn to Derek. "Is it me or was he to friendly to me and not very nice to you" you ask and laugh a little. Derek's face looked surprised you mentioned it. "oh you noticed" he says.

"yeah I did and it was awkward" you reply

"just a little" he laughs

You both start eating your food. After a couple minutes of eating you had to declare your love. For this food of course.

"Gotta love steak, I might have to marry the chief" you chuckle

Derek faked being hurt. " for your information I am a great cook, so you dint have to leave me for some chief" he says trying to be serious.

"Macaroni and cheese doesn't count" you pointed out

Derek put on  joking angry face. "I am going to cook you dinner" he says dead serious

"we are already eating dinner" you say playing dumb

"Another time smart ass" Derek laughs

You and Derek take more bites of your meals. "so what do you plan on cooking for me" you ask after swallowing some steak

"It will be a surprise, don't worry you will like it" Derek replies

"I don't like mac and cheese that much" you joke

Derek sighs jokingly "Im not making damn macaroni and cheese" he chuckled

"Well with all honesty, I cant wait to have whatever you make me for dinner" you smile

Derek smiled. You and Derek enjoy eating more of your food. You guys finish up your food and the waiter came to ask how the bill is being paid and if everything is together. Derek said yes its together and paid with cash.

"Have a goodnight beautiful" The waiter said to you walking away

"He is one lucky boy" Derek says taking your hand walking to his car

"whys that" you asked confused

because I didn't rip his throat out with my teeth" Derek says partly joking but very annoyed how that idiot boy talked and flirted with you. You laugh

"Are you jealous" you asks

Derek chuckles "No but I do wish that boy had more respect for you and me your date" He says. You nod as your in dereks car driving back to your home.

The ride is peaceful and quite. just you and Derek with smiles on your faces. You watch the scenery passing by through the car window. You get home and Derek turns off his car but stays inside it.

"I would walk you to the door but I don't want stiles spying on us" Derek chuckles

"I agree" you smile at him 

You move in to kiss him and he meets you almost half way your lips smash together. its a tingly amazing feeling all over your body, on your lips,face,neck,chest and down your arms.

 "Sleep well babe" Derek says as you both are pulling away.

"You too hun" You smile and get out of the car and walking to your front door going inside.

 You walk to your living room hearing the tv. Damn stiles and his movies you think to your self. You see stiles passed out on your couch cuddling a bag of cheezie. His mouth is open and light  snores are coming from it. You Smile at your dorky best friend and take the cheezies bag away covering him with a blanket folded up on the back of the couch. You turn off the tv and head up stairs to your room.

 You remove your heels and dress and change into a tank top and shorts to sleep in. You go into your bathroom to wash off your makeup and brush your teeth. You jump in bed and your whole date flashes through your mind, you smile at the recent events that have happened tonight and drift off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(gifs not mine) The is part 9 to the Derek Hale Story. Read other parts if you have not. Sorry it was very late had a lot going on with moving and my daughter. hope you all understand and enjoy this part.

LOVE YOU ALL

Follow and Like

-Aly <3

[tmntl0verthings]

Textual Contact

chapter 3 × feat. Michelangelo

Y: hey ^>^

R: sup shortstack

Y: nm tallstack

R: thats horrible..

Y: wut?

R: tall stack? Really? Whered u learn that. School for the uncreative

Y: hey!

R: hey 😄

Y: 😒

R: so whats up?

Y: nm honestly. Im in gym.

R: And?

Y: its boring. U run around inside a room with smelly boys and snotty girls

R: its good for you

Y: shaddup

R: lol

Y: wbu?

R: im chillin. My second work out starts in 10 minutes.

Workout schedule: 6am-10am-3:00pm-7:30pm

Y: and where does training come into play?

R: whenever dad schedules it

Y: oooooh tell me about ur dad. Plz.?

R: uugh ur soooo wantttyyyyy

Y: yes..yes i am

R: lol well hes old, we were all orphans and he took us under his wing. Hes really been there for all of us. Even if we arent blood related.

Y: wow. Didnt see that coming. At all.

R: XD

Y: thats really sweet of him. So like what? U guys lived on the streets. Or orphanage's?

R: well we were just babies at the time so I dont remember

Y: oh alright

R: wbu. I dont know anything about you and im just spilling my guts

Y: ewwww!!

R: what

Y: thats so graphic! Omg the imagining in my head right now. -barfs- 😷😦

R: Lol so?? Tell me.

Y: well i live in bronx and Ivd been here for the last 8 years. I moved when i was just a girl. Life has been alright. I could do without the cat calling from guys. Its pathetic. I dabble in art sometimes. Only when im in the mood. I go to school (duh). I; just like any girl love to cook and bake. I just got into yoga.

R: nice. So what can u bake me?

Y: bake u? Like.. for u?

R: yeah

Y: practically anything. But i wanna see this ✌family✌ first.

R: quotes? really? Make me sound like a liar. Whats wrong wit' chu.

Y: well mmeehhhhh to u too grumpy

R: pfft 😝😝

Y: hey i gotta go. Gym teacher is walking my way.

R: mk

~3 hours later~

M: hheey gurrrlll

Y: lol nm. Wbu raphie kins

M:..are u raphs secret girlfriend or something. Cause only i call raph stuff like that.

Y: 😐 who is dis? Isnt this raphs account.

M: yeah im that kind of brother. So what's ur name sweetcheeks??

Y: y/n

M: ooh Mikey Likey.

Y: mikey? That's ur name

M: well my name is much longer so ppl call me mikey.

Y: oooohh. OH u must have a renaissance name too!

M: bingo

Y: whats ur whole name

M: eehhhh idk if i wanna tell you. Ur kiinndaaa short.

Y:....wut

M: ur kinda short

Y: well ur kinda weird

M: why thank you (Casinova voice)

Y: 😳

M: so tell me. How did u meet leo and then raph?

Y: leo texted me first by Accident thinking i was someone named april. Then leo used raphs phone which led me to talking to raph.

M: makes sense. So u like to bake?? I love baking! Im trying to make my own dish but i cant seem to get any right.

Y: oooh~ whats ur dish?

M: well it tends to vary. I tried to make a carrot lasagna. Failed ✖ Marble pancakes. Something went wrong there. ✖ I tried making chocolate covered asparagus. Failed✖

Y: oo so ur going all out?

M: yea.

Y: maybe i could help. Maybe i could finally meet ur family.

M: oh~ um. I dont think dad would like that. He doesnt like new ppl.

Y: but everyone loves me 😃😃😗

M: lol that may be true (idk) but i shouldnt disobey.

Y: ur family is very different from others ive met. Its like ur hiding. U guys dont go to a public school. Ur home schooled. U cant share ur 'Training' with me.

M: ..well its complicated. But lets not talk about that.

Y: but i want tooooooo

M: nu

Y: yeash

M: nu nu

Y: fine.. what do u do for hobbiez??

M: well i love gaming. I read comics. I guess u could say knunchucks are my passion. I use them everyday. I love movie nights OH and pizza friday. Llovveeeee pizza. Im sometimes my older brother's assistant. He's a nerd. Hes all sciency and stoof. Oh and im a drummer

Y: knunchucks!  😵😵 Wow bro. ..just wow. Thats awesome! Thats a ninja weapon right?

M: yea. But i live by a non-assassin code.

Y: wait... Is ur guyses training.. is it ninjitsue????!😱😱

M: ...nu

Y: awe. I was all excited for nothing

M: lol

Y: so whatcha doin

M: texting u during training

Y: lol so u stole raphs phone?

M:😈😈

Y: lmao so whats going on during training?

M: raph and don are in one team while Im on the other team with lameanardo.

Y: lmao ppl dont like leo?

M: hes like Secondary dad

Y: really? I havent noticed. Like legit havent noticed. No sarcasm in this.

M: lol well if u really knew him. Youd understand.

M: i gotta go. Leo and splinter are on my butt about me on raphs phone.

Y: Lol figured raph would be more on u than the others.

M: lol tru. Ttyl

Y: kk

~since its after school and ur at home. U decided to go for a walk with earbuds.

You clicked ur earbuds into the headphone jack and grabbed a pop tart before u left ur parents apartment. You opened the door to fell a perfect autumn breeze in the cool air. You slipped on your light blue sweater with dark blue lining. Your (hair brushed out/hair in a pony tail.) You locked your door and started walking. You walked around for 40 minutes. Your elbow got caught on the wire of your headphones making them pop out of your ears. You Ughed as you tried putting them back in. You stopped when you heard a trashcan lid fall. You froze as you looked down the sunset shadowed alleyway. You narrowed your eyes adjusting your vision. You saw something trying to stand still but you saw it move just a little as it was breathing. Your eyes grew wider in fear. you continued walking but then turned around to look at the alley one more time to make sure u werent imagining it. You didnt see anything. You felt something touch your ankle. You screeched with a jump back as you looked down to see a taby cat. You exhaled as you then looked up to see it was getting dark. A "let me out im stuck in your pocket" notification tone went off. You looked down to see Leo texted you. you answered his text as you walked away from the alley. Up above on a fire escape crouched over in the alley was someone watching you answer the text with their green eyes. They narrowed as they watched you walk.

L: hey

Y: aye 😀

L: whatcha doin?

Y: just walking around ny wbu

L: same

Y: maybe ill bump into you 😎

L: doubt it XD we're looking down at our phones.

~you laughed out loud by an apartment Leo was ontop of. Leo looked over the edge to see a girl on her phone. As she texted

Y: lol so tru

L: so where are you anyways?   ~ leo heard a Let me out of your pocket notification from down below. He looked back down at the girl still standing there

Y: Im at est. N' broadway

L: ohh i see.

~ he heard the notification tone once again. He rose a brow at this point.

Y: wbu??

L: im no where near u ~leo lied considering thats exactly where he was~

Y: im getting hungry. Ooh i see s hotdog stand! Yaassss!!

L: lol

~leo saw the girl go and get a hotdog from Oscars dogs

His eyes widened realizing he practically met you at this point. "Dude is it time to go home yet??" Mikey whined "yea no kidding. Im tired." Donnie joined in as he held his shoulder in his grasp as he moved his arm in three huge circles. "yea; you guys can go. Im gonna stay behind." Leo told them. Raph just arrived to the roof after his run. "sorry. Someone almost saw me." Raph explained. "leo said we're done for the day." Raph looked over at leo looking over the edge. He walked over to his brother and looked down. "ooh-ho-ho your stalking a girrrllll." Raph pointed out as he stood tall and confidentiality. Leo stood up from "i am not! Im just seeing if this girl is who i think she is." Raph rose a brow with his arms crossed. Leo rolled his eyes "fine im kinda stalking her." "Why??" Mikey asked. "I think its the girl ive been talking to. Also raphs been talking to." "Also me." Mikey included himself. "how come i havent met her??" Don asked feeling left out. "well i stole raphs phone to talk to her." Mikey explained.

Y: okay got my weener! 😂

Leo looked down at his phone. "oh shes texting u right now??" mikey asked enthused. "Maybe.." leo answered without looking at mikey and his brothers as he texted you. "Ooohh let me see!" Mikey tried swiping it from leos hands to only let leo dodge. Don slipped it out of his fingers as he blocked leo with his bo staff twirling in front of leo blocking him. "sorry my brothers are distracting me." Don read aloud. "give it back!" Leo demanded as he tried grabbing it from his tall brother. Looking completely short compared to his little brother. Leo stopped As he huffed annoyed at his brother as he scrolled through the convo. Leo then Drew his sword and whacked his brother on the wrist with the handle. The phone dropped out of his grasp and leo swooped down with his hand and saved it.

Y: ??

L: sorry my brother took my phone away as a joke cause hes a Jackass.

Leo typed as he spoke aloud everyone what he was typing. "a jackass huh?" Don rose a brow as he crossed his arms "yes. Now im leaving to somewhere else. Where u cant bother me." "Dude. We know where u live. We can take the phone any time we want." Mikey informed him. Leo flaunting his phone as he said " i can hide my phone." He smirked and then jumped to the next building. he lost you. His brother's distracted him for too long.

Y: so whatcha doin?

L: just walking around still. Wbu

Y: oh just walking home. My stomach doesnt feel to Good. That hot dog didnt agree with me at all.

L: sue em'

Y: lol no ty. Idk why but i really wanna go to an art museum or something. Weirdest craving ever.

L: lmao well imma head home. Ttyl y/n 🤓

Y: 😊😎