#he was asking about shortness of breath nausea heartburn etc etc

[joyridingmp3]

have to wake up early tomorrow to drop my sister at the station, then get my ultrasound done, and then go to my job interview after. feels like a good night to listen to the cure

[ullmanwrites-blog]

HEART HEALTH / CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE Blog Series Written for JIPA Network, 2019 #1 Killer What is the #1 killer in the world? Cancer? War? Accidents? Nope! It’s heart disease. Heart disease causes 31% of all deaths worldwide, according to the World Health Organization. And in the Caribbean, the mortality rate from heart disease is 30% higher, which means fewer people there survive it. What is commonly referred to as “heart disease” includes numerous problems, many of which stem from a build-up of plaque in the walls of arteries. This build-up narrows the arteries, which makes it harder for blood to flow through them. If a blood clot forms due to this, and limits or prevents the blood from flowing, that can cause a heart attack or stroke. If a blood clot cuts off blood flow completely, the part of the heart muscle supplied by that artery actually begins to die. Other types of heart disease include: • Heart Failure – The heart is not pumping blood as well as it should, so the body’s needs for blood and oxygen are not being met. It gets worse if left untreated. • Arrhythmia – This is an abnormal rhythm of the heart. The heart can beat too slowly, too quickly or irregularly, affecting how well the heart can do its job. • Heart Valve Issues – Sometimes a heart valve will not open enough to allow proper blood flow. Other times, the valve may not close completely, so blood leaks through. The valve may also bulge or prolapse back into the upper chamber of the heart. Key screening tests for regularly monitoring heart health include: • Blood pressure • Cholesterol • Weight / BMI (Body Mass Index) • Blood sugar (glucose) • Discuss physical activity, diet, smoking with your doctor If you don’t have a regular annual check-up with your doctor, you likely wouldn’t know if you do have heart disease – until it’s too late. Don’t let the planet’s #1 killer take you down. The Web We Weave Heart disease usually does not exist in a vacuum. Very often, it is a “comorbid” condition. In other words, the person has two or more chronic diseases or conditions at the same time. Following are some conditions that are common comorbidities of heart disease: • Diabetes • High Blood Pressure • Depression • Anxiety • Obesity • Kidney Disease • Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) When high blood pressure exists with obesity, smoking, high cholesterol or diabetes, the risk of a heart attack or stroke increases. Comorbid conditions may sometimes influence each other or make one another worse. However, the good news is that sometimes new medications or lifestyle changes that improve one comorbid condition can also improve another. “It’s the Big One!” If you’ve ever watched reruns of the 1970s TV show Sanford and Son, you probably recall Redd Foxx dramatically clutching his chest and calling, “This is the big one! I’m coming to see you, Elizabeth!” when he needed something or found himself in trouble. In reality though, when a heart attack strikes, the symptoms are not always so obvious. Some heart attacks are sudden and intense, but most begin slowly with mild pain or discomfort. Pain, pressure, squeezing or tightening in the chest is a common symptom, but it’s not the only one. Sometimes you’ll feel pain or discomfort in one or both arms, shoulder, back, neck, jaw or stomach. Shortness of breath can occur, with or without pain in the chest. Other possible signs are as subtle as breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea, or feeling lightheaded or dizzy. It may feel like indigestion or heartburn. You may have rapid or irregular heartbeats, or extreme weakness and fatigue. Remember these warning signs of a possible heart attack. Even if you’re not sure that it is a heart attack, have it checked out immediately. Minutes matter. The Heart of the Matter Heart attacks are not always fatal. Survival depends on: • Recognizing the symptoms • Immediately calling emergency services • Chewing an aspirin while waiting for EMS Always have aspirin on hand, and if you’re already a heart patient, ask your doctor about nitroglycerine. Everyone in your family should know CPR, as well as the warning signs of a heart attack. Also, do not delay in getting to the hospital quickly. My wife’s mother is not with us today because she waited too long before calling someone for help. 25% of patients wait more than 6 hours to go to the emergency room after symptoms begin! Have you already had a heart attack? Your doctor will advise you of medications and lifestyle changes, which will vary according to how badly your heart was damaged and what degree of heart disease you have. There are five important ways to lower your risk of a second heart attack: 1. Take your medications exactly as your doctor prescribed. Forgetting a dose or to get a refill can cause serious problems. 2. Follow-up with your doctor within six weeks of your heart attack, and on a regular basis after that to keep your recovery on track. 3. Cardiac rehabilitation improves recovery with physical fitness, heart-healthy living, and addressing stress. 4. Manage risk factors with medications and lifestyle changes. 5. Get support from family, friends, and other heart attack survivors. You’re in the Driver’s Seat 80% of premature heart attacks and strokes are preventable. Your family medical history is what it is – you can change your jeans, but you can’t change your genes. There are many other risk factors for heart disease, however, that are completely under your control. • Tobacco use o A smoker’s risk of developing heart disease is much higher than that of nonsmokers. When a nonsmoker is regularly exposed to other people’s smoke, the risk is increased for them as well. Smoking robs the heart of oxygen-rich blood and increases the effects of other risk factors. • Physical inactivity o Physical activity helps reduce the risk of heart disease and diabetes. It can also help lower cholesterol, blood pressure, and of course, obesity. A minimum of 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity (brisk walking, jogging, cycling, swimming, lifting weights, etc.) 4-7 days per week is recommended. • Harmful use of alcohol o Drinking too much alcohol can raise blood pressure and contribute to high triglycerides, obesity, and irregular heartbeats. Limit consumption to no more than 1-2 drinks per day. • Unhealthy diet o Calorie-rich foods and/or foods high in sodium, saturated fat & trans fat are bad for you o A Mediterranean-style diet is recommended by many doctors. This diet is centered on fruits, vegetables, grains, nuts, and olive oil. Include some fish and poultry but limit your intake of red meat, dairy, processed meats and sweets. • Obesity o Even with no other risk factors, obese people are more likely to develop heart disease. A healthy diet and regular exercise will help you keep your weight under control. • High blood pressure (Hypertension) o High blood pressure makes the heart work harder, causing the heart muscle to become thicker. This prevents the heart from working properly. Normal blood pressure is less than 120/80. • High cholesterol o Triglyceride is the most common type of fat in the body. A high triglyceride level, combined with harmful cholesterol levels, is associated with the buildup of fatty deposits in the artery walls. • High blood sugar (Diabetes) o Diabetes seriously increases your risk of heart disease. At least 68% of people over 65 years of age die from some form of heart disease. • Stress o In addition to its effects on the heart, stress may influence other risk factors such as overeating and smoking. Here are some lesser-known risk factors that can trigger a heart attack for someone already suffering from heart disease: • Intense emotions such as anger or grief • Sudden exertion for those not used to exercising • Extreme cold • Eating a heavy meal • Poor sleep (also linked to weight gain, diabetes, and high blood pressure). The ideal amount of sleep is 7-9 hours per night My Wife Made Me Do It! I’ve never had a problem, or a fear, of the doctor’s office. I’ve gone to the doctor for everything from bronchitis and the flu, to a sprained ankle and a burst appendix. Whenever something is wrong that doesn’t go away, I go see my doctor. I knew from raising children that they need regular checkups and shots. But adults like me? It didn’t cross my mind. Then my wife put this crazy idea in my head that I needed a checkup. “When was the last time you had lab work done?” became, “Have you made an appointment yet?” So I went to the doctor, even though I felt fine – admittedly, to put an end to the nagging. They checked my vitals, took my blood, talked to me about my family history, etc. Ok, my duty is done. A week later, the nurse called me. “Your cholesterol and sugar are too high. The doctor wants to see you again.” So back I went. The doctor told me my cholesterol was almost 300, and my blood sugar was in the pre-diabetic zone. “The last thing you want is to have to take insulin every day or end up with a heart attack. What kind of food do you eat?” he asked. “Whatever my family’s eating. Hamburgers, sandwiches, fried chicken.” “Lots of desserts?” “Just one after every meal.” “How about exercise?” “What’s that?” The doctor said with my lab numbers and family history of heart disease, I would have to make some major changes. No more fast food. A diet low in cholesterol and sugar. Only lean protein like fish and poultry. No more bread. Veggies instead of starchy sides. Fruit instead of sweets. No late-night snacking on junk. And at least 30 minutes a day of moderate exercise. “It will also help you lose that extra 25 pounds or so. Come back and see me in six months.” Six months later, after making the changes the doctor wanted – most of the time; it was rough – my lab numbers were better, but my cholesterol was still too high. He ordered a scan of my arteries, which showed that some plaque was starting to build up a bit. Nothing serious – yet. Taking my family history into account – both parents with high cholesterol, and heart disease in everyone on my dad’s side – the doctor put me on a medication called a statin to lower the amount of bad cholesterol in my blood. “You still need to exercise and watch what you eat,” he warned. “It’s medicine, not magic.” Six months later, my cholesterol was much better. Six months after that, it was in normal range, and it’s stayed that way. That was five years ago. Thanks to my wife’s nagging and following doctor’s orders, I ought to live longer than I would have otherwise. Watching what I eat can be difficult, and I do indulge once in a while or go a couple days without so much as a long walk, but I’m doing better. My father survived a major heart attack, but his three younger siblings did not survive theirs. Hopefully I can avoid that fate. JIPA Network has many world-class cardiologists in its network. Reach out and see how we can help you – it’s probably more affordable than you think, and it may save your life. Sources: American Heart Association, World Health Organization, Center for Disease Control

[zeldafreak911]

A sleepless night

You open your eyes.. it takes a minute for your brain to register the ever present fatigue. Nothing new though, it’s been 10 years now. what’s the time? Later than it’s socially acceptable to rouse on a weekday at least. You pull your exhausted body into a sitting position. Ironic isn’t it? That after a night of sleeping you can still feel tired. You wonder about how that’s possible some days. But not yet,the grogginess hasn’t cleared. It won’t for another hour or two. They call it ‘brain fog’. Funny word that, a symptom of myalgic encephalomyelitis. Or CFS/ME if you don’t speak gibberish.

Anyways, sitting up now, you put on a jumper, roll a smoke, grab your favourite lighter and put them in your pocket. You find trackies and ugg boots. Warm things; they help.

You slowly shuffle out to the kitchen. Bee-lining for the kettle. The family knows well enough now that their efforts at communication won’t be successful until post-coffee.

You make the coffee, warm up your wheatbag if it’s a particularly cold morning and you drag your feet along the ground and out to ‘your spot’ in the workshop out the back.

If today is a bad day for anxiety you’ll be fighting off the urge to vomit right about now. For no reason at all. Literally just your brain deciding to glitch out on you. A psychologist told me once that it sounded like I was anxious as soon as I wake up. That’s nice brain... just be anxious to fucking exist then.

You pull out your tin, pack a cone and smoke until you aren’t gagging and fighting the urge to throw up like before. Some days there’s no fighting it... no stopping it either. If it’s a good day you smoke as many cones as it takes until your brain is sufficiently numb.

What am I trying to numb myself from you ask?

I couldn’t honestly tell you for sure. Some days I’m curious, some days I don’t want to know and others I convince myself I’m not numbing anything. I genuinely enjoy the stuff though so no dramas there on my end.

After that you light your cigarette and take a deep breath of the sweet deathstick. You know you shouldn’t enjoy them as much as you do.. but you’ll quit eventually.

You sit outside for half an hour or so. Alternating between the coffee, cigarette and cones if you need a top up before going inside again.

Your back is already starting to hurt. Between your shoulder blade and your spine there’s a stabbing pain and there is a dull ache in the small of your back. You drape the wheatbag over your shoulder to ease the pain. It’s mainly from stress but poor posture isn’t doing you any favours. You try to sit up straight but somehow you always end up with your shoulders slouched.

Eventually you go back inside, usually once you’ve finished the coffee.. or the smoke. One or the other.

Most mornings as bad as it is, it’s part of the morning brain reboot to go out for another smoke pretty damn soon after that first one. The rest of the day you aren’t as bad but for some reason need to have two smokes in the morning or else you’re left feeling unsatisfied. Almost like you have an itch you can’t scratch.

It’s pretty similar to the first, just less cones and you probably made another coffee to take outside. Always need to have a drink out there with you or else you’ll have a coughing fit and if it’s a gagging morning then game over, you’ll throw up. Sometimes you sit out by the glass table. That way you feel the sun warming you and the wind on your skin. You watch the family of birds that likes the nectarine tree. They’ve been coming to that tree every morning for the last few years.

If it’s the right time of year there will be seagulls squawking overhead. The sky is usually clear and bright blue in springtime and summer.

You walk over to the fishpond. Well tiptoe. If the fish hear you coming they will hide. You silently peer over the edge, trying to make sure they don’t see you straight away. You see two of your favourites, Philip and Shadow. Leaning further to see them. Your foot makes a noise and they scatter. Oh well nevermind.

Occasionally you can hear your neighbour singing. He’s blind, runs on his treadmill in the garage and sings along to whatever he’s listening to. He’s pretty tone deaf but it makes me smile anyways.. he’s got the enthusiasm.

You go inside and put your tin and lighter away. By this time you’ll usually be replying to a few messages. Most mornings you’ll go and play piano; it usually speeds up the reboot of your brain.

You play whatever songs take your fancy at the time. Usually a few easy pieces that you know well to warm up your fingers. After about 10 minutes you start playing some new songs you’ve been learning and any others you have a hankering to play. You’ll play anywhere between twenty minutes to two hours.

There’s nothing I’ve found quite as useful for my mental health as playing the piano. When I’m upset I channel the negative emotions into what I’m playing. When I had a big problem with self harm and I was trying to stop I would play piano anytime I had the urge to do something. Music literally saved me in more ways than one. But damn, on my bad days I’ll play piano more beautifully than you would have ever heard before.

Usually it’s about this time you’re ready to interact with other human beings face to face. Mum is usually pottering around the kitchen or the garden, singing or humming along to you playing or complimenting you in between songs she particularly enjoys.

She will ask if you’ve had lunch yet; you’ll say not yet. Most days she won’t press you further than that. She knows if she does you will either snap at her or cry. One of the two..

Food is a touchy topic for me. I’ve got an eating disorder. My psychologist said it sounds like anorexia. Here’s the catch though.. I’ve never actually fell to the weight criteria for a proper diagnosis of anorexia. Literally I’m too fat to have the mental disorder it sounds like i have. Go figure.

So instead the category it falls into is EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). Which is basically the everything else. That being said however, my brain works the way of a person with anorexia.

Anorexia, I’m sure you’ve heard of it but you probably don’t really know much about it overall. There’s the obvious, low weight. Anorexia is the one that when you hear ‘eating disorder’, the thought that comes to mind is generally anorexics. Did you know though that besides low body weight there’s; hair loss, brittle nails, dull skin, dry/flaky/scaly skin, heartburn, nausea, irritability, low moods, feelings of weakness and fatigue, dizziness, being cold all.the.time., lanugo (faint hair that grows on the body to keep you warm when starving), fainting spells, shaky/weakness in legs mainly.. and pain. Fucking pain. When your stomach is stretching or shrinking, either or hurts. Also fun fact your organs can shut down, you can go into a coma and die. If that’s not bad enough it’s statistically the hardest mental illness to recover from and it has the highest death rate. Fun times to be blessed with that bad boy huh?

My psych explained anorexia to me as anxiety+OCD=anorexia.

Fun little cocktail of mental health problems 😂

I’ve had it about 4-5 years.. well I know it’s been a problem for that long but it’s plausible that I could have had it before and not been aware.

It’s the worst. It’s literally hell. Living hell. It’s seeing yourself in a mirror and being disgusted. Or crying.. or just being plain disappointed in yourself. Sometimes you’ll see a good thing or two when you look but usually it’s this hostile person staring at your flaws.

It’s getting moody around ‘mealtimes’ (when a normal person would eat) and taking it out on those around you.

It’s the constant obsessive thoughts. Because it is an obsession. An obsession with food.. or more without it. But I’m not sure if you’ve been starving before. Like not the phrase ‘I’m starving’ but literally your body has gone into starvation mode. Almost all you can think about is food.

Now let me explain the difference between a bulimic person and an anorexic one. Someone with bulimia right about now will either have already caved or will be stuffing their face with food because they gave in. Usually they will purge it in some way; by forcing themselves to vomit, laxatives, diet pills, water pills, (driven) exercise etc.

someone with anorexia can also purge which is where it gets confusing but usually a bulimic person has these binge->purge sessions pretty regularly whereas an anorexic will hold out a lot longer and doesn’t really binge as much.

Anorexia is all about control. In case you hadn’t realised.

Usually it’s about striving to be perfect... and control is needed for that. It’s also a lot to do with outside surroundings being out of the person’s control. So in order to try and cope they will create control somewhere else where it may not have necessarily been needed. Honestly I don’t understand the way bulimic people’s brains work and they don’t get anorexics. Kinda weird that but eh. It’s hard to explain it all to someone who doesn’t have eating troubles at all because they simply can’t comprehend why you would specifically go against one of your most basic instincts.

I probably couldn’t explain that one really.

It’s a no brainer for people to know that someone with an eating disorder is insecure about themselves. But does anyone really know what that level of insecurity looks like or how it presents itself? Probably not.

It’s nasty words and short tempers. Misunderstandings and overreactions.

It comes off as sad and desperate.. attention seeking. It’s jealousy, the worst kind imaginable.

Tears, voices cracking, puffy eyes.

Sobs that wrack your soul and hearts shattering with each breath.

Stinging eyes, throat hoarse, bloodied knuckles and skin you tore away from your fingers.

Uncontrollable tremors, your heart pounding too loud in your head. Make it stop.

It’s not being able to breathe. Thinking you’ll die.. fuck a panic attack isn’t how I wanted to go?!

It’s pushing people away before they get the chance to hurt you first. Only to apologise the next day and beg for them to stay. Go away! Come back!!? No! Fuck you!!

Go. Stay. GO. STAY

I’m just fucking sorry.. okay?

I hate that I do this. I hate that you care. I hate that I’ve forgotten how to care about myself. I wish I could change these parts of my brain. I’m like a ticking time bomb or a slow acting poison. I will paralyse you.. suffocate you. Maybe leave nothing left.

Someone told me all I ever do is drag everyone down.

Another asked me if I wanted to bring everyone else down with my problems.

No. Not at all.

So I stopped talking about my problems; and that’s how I’ve come to this carcophany of thoughts and feelings and insecurities. And the worst part is that’s not even everything.

People with an ED have thought distortions. That means they don’t see themselves in the way others do. People think this means purely physical but it can mean personality wise too. So because of this, if someone compliments me I don’t really take it in. It’s like.. a filter or something that’s always there and only certain things get in or out. The compliments rarely make it through the bubble. Insults and criticism however, they stick in my brain whether I want them to or not. They will literally cause an ocd tick about it going over and over in a loop on repeat. And I believe it too.. it takes a lot to drill these ideas out of me. Like for example that one about all you ever do is drag people down was like 3 years ago. And it’s like i can’t remember the way the memory looked but I can hear that person’s voice clear as day.

It’s fucked how people from my past haunt me like that. To the point I hear their voices. In a way it’s getting close to a full blown episode if I’m at the point I’m properly ‘hearing their voices’. it’s sort of like a memory.. but too vivid. Like I think one memory I had I got the words right but the voice I was hearing was the wrong person. It took me a long time to remember who actually said it and it really confused me. They’re like echoes in my head. Sometimes I can control it and sometimes I can’t. Which is terrifying in itself. I don’t often talk about these things let alone remember them myself.

A full blown mental episode for me is bad. They are bad for anyone involved.. and sometimes those not involved too. I’ll lose the plot. Won’t eat right, won’t sleep right, hearing things, imagining things.. my brain plays all kinds of tricks on me. But the biggest part is that I’m scared that ‘something’ is coming to get me and I’m convinced that if I sleep I’ll be off guard and won’t be able to protect myself. The level of terror I have though it’s like a fucking demon is coming to get me or something that no one will be able to protect me from but myself. Metaphorically speaking it does make sense but at the time I see it very literally. I wouldn’t even want to know what I’m like from someone else’s point of view there. I get scared to talk, paranoid as anything. I’ll mentally be incapable of doing anything that requires much thought process on my own. And also I’ll have something that I’m fixated on that has usually caused said episode.

People don’t know what to do though when they happen. Because if you aren’t qualified how could you know really. And my problem is I’m intelligent. My brain has the power to pull the wool over my eyes. So I’ll be convinced I’m better until something pops my little bubble/filter/distortion barrier and it’s like oh my fucking god I’m just as bad as always. But anyways, I tried to read a lot of things to like help myself mentally. But everything I know.. the mental illness knows.. and can use against me. It’s hard to explain but it’s literally like the worst sense of betrayal and disappointment when you snap out of it.

Self sabotage is a pretty human thing but that level of self sabotage.. like touché brain you impress me nonetheless.

Sometimes I wish I could look into some kind of magical crystal ball or scrying mirror and see a parallel universe where I was never born. See how things would be. Then I would like to see one where the night I took all those pills and laid down to go to sleep, that friend didn’t message me and ask me how I was just at the exact time I didn’t care enough to lie.

The last one I would like to see is a parallel universe where Amy survived.

Then again maybe the last one wouldn’t be a good idea. I think it would break me to see that and then come back to a world where she died at 7.

I don’t think i really explained BPD in this rant. That’s borderline personality disorder. And no I don’t have split personalities that one is multiple personality disorder or DID.

BPD was given its name because a number of patients were presenting in the ER with psychotic symptoms but they themselves were on the cusp of being psychotic and neurotic. Therefore, ‘borderliners’. It’s a lot more to do with emotional disregulation than with personalities. It’s been found in studies that people with BPD have an overactive amiygdyla (however you spell it.) and that part of the brain controls emotion and emotion regulation.

A good way to describe it is through the sims. Imagine when you’re creating a sim and in the traits section there is one you can’t unselect called which is like a supertrait that controls the rest. I don’t really know mine but it appears it’s like insecurity or something similar.

And then there’s the emotions. Imagine the sim emotion bar thing. That’s a normal person. Now a person with BPD has this same bar but doubled at the top and bottom. So twice as big. It’s great with good emotions. You feel them so deeply it warms your soul. But the other side is the doozy. You feel twice as shitty when bad things happen. Literally people with BPD feel emotions in a different way from normal people. Their brains function differently... it’s not one of those ones you just have to look on the bright side and deep breathe because that shit won’t fly with BPD.

You also have intense feelings of emptiness, loneliness and sadness that is a constant.

You lack the ability to self validate like others can. Basically say you have an idea.. you won’t know it’s a good idea until someone tells you it’s a good idea and then you take that as like acceptance or they have ‘validated’ you. On the other hand we are very sensitive to invalidation. This means that any time we have been invalidated (made to feel wrong, someone is saying something isn’t right, criticism etc) or even perceived invalidation. That one means when you think that someone invalidated you but in reality they didn’t.. the outcome is the same. It makes you feel worthless, rejected, sometimes suicidical, unimportant and the list goes on and on.

People with BPD are always at risk of ‘problem’ behaviours, self harm and suicide. Problem behaviours include things like drugs, risky driving, promiscuity and breaking the law.

They also have incredibly intense and unstable relationships and are prone to sudden outbursts of emotion.

There aren’t any medications proven effective for BPD clients at present. It is possible though to learn the behaviours that they lack and some people go on to not meet the criteria for BPD after years of therapy.