#im at work and this is what im thinking about
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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first, im a bit new to cod but idkâŠ
thinking about ghostâs spouse visiting him on base or some shit, and everyone else wondering how tf he was emotionally flexible enough to bag a bad bitch đ«¶
note: this is just my personal little fantasy world headcanon lol so take it with a grain of salt!
Simon maintains a vaguely human lifestyle by adhering to one very strict rule: rigid compartmentalization. You donât come up at work, and work doesnât come up around you. Never the twain shall meet, he thinks. And heâs not exactly a watershed of information when heâs with his mates. And itâs not like anyone is asking âWhen was the last time you got fucked, Ghost?â and seriously expecting a response.
He tells you about the crew, but not about what he does with them. Killing, espionage, tortureâ that kind of thing stays off the dinner table.
Let it be known that you do not surprise him at work. You respect his boundaries too much, which is why heâs so fucking serious about you, honestly. He calls, asking if you can run something to him. This is maybe the greatest symbol of trust he can bestow, as a man who has only a fraction of an existence in the eyes of the government: he asks you to bring a document of his. He gives you the instructions on how to find it, and trusts that you wonât look at anything you donât have to.
You know Johnny lets out a low whistle when he sees you coming up with a manilla folder in your hands.
âWhoâs that bloody bombshell, then?â
You spy Simon and jog up to him with a smile. Heâs the one who embraces you, short but strong. Cue the nigh audible gasping.
âLT, you absolute dog.â
Simon rolls his eyes as the two of you are crowded in short order. You make polite introductions, but have a previous engagementâ you really did only have time to stop by.
Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave.
Everyone is wondering how this couldâve happened. For the recordâ I think in this scenario, Johnny and Gaz go through a constant string of heartbreaks, and John is kinda married to his job. So in a cruel twist of fate, Simon is actually the only one currently with a partner, much less a spouse.
âHowâd you manage to bag a right beauty like that, LT? Câmon, spill itââ
Simon doesnât mean to diminish your value or anything, but his answer is not going to be satisfying, because he doesnât find it that difficult to get women. And also, youâre his true love, so youâre perfect for each other and growing close to you was as easy as breathing. But he doesnât say that.
âSânot that hard. Remember the stuff she says, donât keep no secrets⊠dick âer down the way she likes.â He doesnât mean to be crude about it, but from his perspective, is one of the main reasons why you tolerate him. Soap howls at the response.
Heâs telling the truth, though! He has a scarily good memory. Remembers every friend youâve ever told him about, every movie youâve ever mentioned, every meal heâs cooked for you and how you liked it. He remembers dates, times, and lists with no issue whatsoever.
And heâs never kept anything from you. He tells you how the fuck heâs feeling, and you return the favor, even if it isnât pleasant. The only thing he doesnât mention to you are the gorey details of his work.
And you have never had more of a communicative partner, ironically. There were times in the beginning when he didnât know all of the ins and outs of coaxing pleasure from your body, so he asked you to show him how you like it. And that scary memory is at work yet againâ every sensitive spot, every offhand mention of a kink youâve not yet explored together, every arch of your spine and clench of your cunt. Heâs got it down to a science. Could write novels about making love to you specifically.
What Iâm trying to say, at the end of the day, is that Ghost bagged a bad bitch by being autistic.
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state of grace â s. reid x reader
in which your cat has taken liking to your friend with benefits, and you begin to battle with the consequential feelings.Â
pairing:Â spencer reid x fem!reader genre:Â fluff (18+ for suggestive content) tags:Â established friends with benefits. reader has a cat. your cat likes him more than you :(Â avoidant!reader for like a teensie second. it's okay happy ending. the happiest possible ending actually. fade to black. word count:Â 1.9k a/n:Â sometimes the most beautiful poetry can be about simple things. like a cat. :) im a dog person. idk why i wrote this.
Seventeen times.
That is how many times Spencer Reid had found residence at your apartment in the past month alone, taking up the space on the other side of your bed. Thirteen of those times he had stayed the night. Six of those times, he had come for sex. The other eleven? He had come because you needed a friend.Â
Or, rather, your cat did.Â
You had discovered you weren't any more complex than your average man, at the end of the day. Human beings are at their core created to love and be loved, and by extension, to want and be wanted. You wanted Spencer, and you were wanted by Spencer. For both your friendship, and the intimacy your relationship provided.Â
But you did not love him, and he did not love you.Â
Cat's are anything but fickle creatures. A lot of your best friendships were centred around whether or not your cat developed a liking to the person or not. Oftentimes, your fleeting relationships came down to the odd sixth sense the animal had for disliking the worst people. That, and your one night stands were never a crowd favourite within the walls of your apartment. And yet; Spencer Reid.Â
He was nothing short of charming. In a sort of dorky way, yes. But whatever socially romantic skills he lacked, he most certainly made up for by giving you the best of just about everything in bed. A small part of you wants to claim it's human instinct to know how to worship the person meant for you, but the logical reason is probably his eidetic memory knowing exactly what he's doing after a singular trial run. Entertaining the thought of being his soulmate was not a wise choice.
He most certainly was your cat's, though. The Ragdoll always jumping down to greet him the second he stepped foot in your apartment, usually resulting in the break of a kiss and a five minute intermission before the two of you could do anything.Â
At first, it was an inconvenience. Your cat had never taken such a liking to a person you'd brought home before, and it was jarring to watch a man you were partially trying to undress, stop everything to pet your cat. Now, it is simply endearing. You've stopped trying to steal Spencer's attention before the cat does, and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer's priority list will always be the feline, then you.Â
Today was, seemingly, no different. Despite the dull ache between your legs and the fact that this visit had started as something as obscene as Spencer calling from his work bathroom to ask if he could come over after for he was, and you quote, in dire need to touch you (among many other things), whatever those needs were, were put on hold.Â
You smile regardless, leaning against the edge of your couch as he crouches down to meet Po â yes, like the panda â his hand immediately reaching out for the cat to run his head along.Â
Spencer's head lifts to look at you. "Morgan thinks Po isn't a real cat, and we've just got a name for yourâumâ" his brain catches up to his mouth mid sentence, and he's stammering his way to silence.Â
"Please tell me you defended my cat's honour," you retort.
"I did! I even showed him the photo I took of him while you were in the shower last week. He thinks it's a different person's cat."
You shake your head in disapproval. "Unbelievable. Your coworker thinks we've named my pussy."
"That's just Morgan."
"I wish Po could speak English. Then he could hear this nonsense, and stop loving you more than me," you grumble, and Spencer's lips twitch up into a smile, as he situates himself on the floor, the cat climbing into his lap.
"Actually, he technically can. Cat's can understand up to thirty-five words in whatever language you train them in. Also, when they meow, they begin trying to mimic the sound of certain human words. It's their vocal tract that prevents them from literally speaking English," he explains.
But, you're too invested in the way his long fingers are delicately running through the cat's hair, to both respond, and really pay any attention at all.
You had had fleeting thoughts about real feelings for Spencer two months ago. Brushing them off as loneliness and your need to satiate the hopeless romantic within you, you'd forgotten about it up until this recent week.
He'd been over every single day, sometimes for sex, oftentimes for a movie and dinner (which was usually a bowl of pasta you had overestimated while cooking). And every single time, you'd developed an overwhelming anxious pit in your stomach when watching him interact with Po, your heart fluttering the entire time, mind running rampant on domestic thoughts you should be squashing.Â
Should be, but weren't.Â
You'd tried to put it down to the motherly instinct you had over the animal. Seeing somebody else treat him with as much love and care as you did was endearing â it wasn't a Spencer Reid specific trait. Yet, here you were.Â
"I feel like the benefits of this relationship have changed," you say, seating yourself in front of Spencer on the floor, Po lifting his head to look at the person behind the sudden movement, before he let it rest back on Spencer's thigh.Â
"To what?"
"My cat," you huff, and Spencer laughs.
"He is my favourite benefit thus far," he muses.Â
"The feeling is definitely mutual," you nod your head to Po, whose eyes were now shut, seemingly quite comfortable disregarding all your personal plans and taking Spencer's attention.
"Animals don't usually like me," he comments. "I don't know why Po is different."
Oh, you had a few ideas why.
"Maybe he's exercising the keep your enemies closer life motto," you offer, and Spencer's eyebrows shoot up in faux offence.Â
"This is unadulterated love," he protests. "He does not think of me as an enemy."
"That's what he wants you to believe," you hum, pushing yourself up on your legs. "Well, since plans have been rudely interrupted, do you want some dinner?"Â
"Sure," he answers, though his attention is back on Po. Clearly so, for he says, "I'll get to our original plans after we eat, don't worry," almost absentmindedly.
It's the kind of thing that makes you forget you're in the room with the dictionary definition of a nerd. You know it's only because sometimes he says what he is thinking without thinking. It doesn't do anything to help the ongoing internal battle about your feelings for him.Â
Or maybe he does know exactly what he's doing.
"You should get a cat," you say, heading into your kitchen to find something for the two of you to eat. "You seem to like them enough."
"Why? I have yours."
"I'm not going to be around forever," you reply, unthinking. "I mean, one day we're gonna have to end this because the other has found someone they want to be with. Properly. It wouldn't be fair to keep a friendship."
He falls silent, and when you lift your head, you see he's staring at you with an almost confused frown on his face, which triggers your own confusion to appear. His scratching of Po's head has been interrupted, and you're starting to question what was wrong about what you had said.Â
Sure, you're pretty sure you have feelings for him, but as far as you knew, they were one sided. Right?
"I didn'tâI thoughtâ" he cuts himself off, takes a deep breath, then continues. "I thought that had changed this past month."
"What do you mean?"
"I justâI've been here for things other than sex a lot. I thought you knew I liked you, and you were subtly trying to tell me you liked me too. I'm starting to sense I misread that."
For a profiler, he was incredibly awful at reading you.Â
"Yeah..." You slowly nod your head, but it's the deepening of his frown that has you rushing to add, "I mean, IâI do. Like you. I'm kind of embarrassed that was obvious. But I didn't think you liked me outside of having sex with me. I wasn't trying to communicate my feelings. I was trying to hide them."
"Oh," he falls silent again. "So the times Iâve been here in the past month werenât makeshift dates?"
"They weren't intended that way..." you trail off. "Did you see them as dates?"
"Kind of, I guess," he's back to running his fingers through Po's fur, just to keep his anxious hands busy. "They don't have to be, if you don't want them to. I just thought this feeling was mutual and we were... I guess, dating."
"The feeling is mutual," you quickly correct him. "I know that now. I didn't think we were dating because I didn't think you liked me back. Changing our relationship kind of needs to be a conversation."
"Right," he breathes out, an awkward smile painting his lips. "Is this the conversation, then?"
"I guess?"
"So now we're dating."
"If that's what you want," you nod, head feeling a little fuzzy.
"Is it what you want?" he presses. Always the gentleman.
"Maybe," you muse, leaning forwards against the kitchen countertop.Â
He's watching you, and for a second you let the silence fall over you, fearful that you've just discouraged him enough to ruin things between you. He carefully takes Po off his lap, the cat running into your room the second his paws hit the hardwood floor, and he's standing up to move over to you.Â
"I don't like maybe," he frowns. "Yes or no?"
You blink, realising he was evidently too anxious of your genuine response to have any recognition to your poor attempt of a joke.Â
"Yes, Spencer. That's what I want," you're breathless as you speak, and you're thankful for the relieved smile that stretches across his lips.
"That's what I want too," he answers.Â
"Yeah, I figured." Your second attempt at a tease lands, and he huffs a small laugh, which warms your heart. "Do you still want dinner?"
He had somehow gotten closer to you throughout the awkward enough conversation, and he was sliding his arms around your waist. Something he had done many times before, yes, and yet this time it was feeling much more intimate, and your heart was thrumming against your chest a little harder than usual.Â
"Maybe it can wait?" he offers, ducking his head down, lips ghosting over your own. "I don't have a bothersome cat keeping me preoccupied from you, now."
Despite yourself, you poke a finger into his chest and say, "Don't insult Po."
"I'm not. Just merely stating an obvious fact."
"I'll call him back in here to preoccupy me."
"He has selective hearing. And he likes me more than you."
Your lips drop into a frown, lower lip jutting out, and Spencer is quick to try and kiss it off within seconds of noticing it.Â
"I'm sorry. That was mean. I promise he doesn't like me more than you," he says, though his voice is too amused to be entirely sincere.Â
"That was mean," you agree with a firm nod. "You're very mean to me, Spencer Reid."
"I know, I'm awful. Can I make it up to you, sweet girl?"
Well, when he asks you like that.
"Mm..." you hesitate, but he's already guiding you around, walking you backwards, through your apartment and towards your bedroom. "Yeah, I guess so."
Hands that were around your waist hike your shirt up, his lips still kissing against your skin despite the intense multitasking he was forcing upon the two of you.
"Thank you."
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated âĄ
#liaâs fics âĄ#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer x self insert#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid x you
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when you first start talking to simon riley, you want to check yourself into an insane asylum.
you like to think youâre cool, youâre chill, youâre nonchalant. but he takes eight hours to text back, sending you a âcome over.â text at 7pm like he hadnât just ignored you the whole day. you complain to your friends, of course, which is a terrible move when they tell you to drop him and if he wanted to, he would! and you think he does (want to), heâs just so insanely nonchalant about it. so the next time he comes over, chinese takeout in hand after not texting you back since 8am, you go a little crazyâŠ
you open the door for him, stepping back awkwardly when he tried to peck your forehead. he practically shrugs it off, toeing off his boots before setting the food down on your table. âgot thaâ dish ya like.â you nod, forgetting his back is to you. simon unpacks the boxes with precision from the bag, not stopping until itâs all laid out on the table. youâve been quiet for a while, unusual since youâre the talker of the bunch, and that creeping feeling thatâs been sliding up his skin finally sets its hooks in him. he turns around curiously, brows furrowing at the sight of you still standing by the door, biting your lip with a timid look and wet eyes. âlove?â
you shake your head with a watery smile. âcan we talk?â simon follows you as you walk to your couch, feeling like heâs been dropped into an op with no details. he doesnât know whatâs wrong, just that youâre hurting and he seems to be the cause of it. âi justâŠdonât get it. how youâre acting so normal.â youâre twisting your hands together. âsomethinâ happen, love? got me confused.â you give him that small, weak smile again and itâs like youâve stabbed him in the heart. âyou- you barely talk to me all day and then you just come over here like itâs nothing. itâs just so hot and cold and iâm wrecking myself over it when itâs so clear you donât care. iâm just so confused, si.â
simon runs through his memories. he texted you good morning, you texted it back, then he went about his duties for the day until he was finally free to ask about dinner. hadnât even picked up his phone in the meantime, security risks or just plain busyness being the cause. ââve been busy, sweetheart. âs why i asked tâ come over when i was done.â you shake your head, biting your lip. âitâs the modern day, simon. everyoneâs on their phones. i donât think youâre as into this as me, and thatâs fine, but i just want to know!â
now simonâs the one shaking his head, pulling out his phone. he might not be tech savvy but he does know this move from johnny, the fucker constantly complaining about his screen time. he pulls up the screen time tracker and turns it to you. ânot everyone.â youâre a bit shocked to be honest. his screen time is ten minutes for the entire day. a few in the morning when he texted you and nothing until nighttime, when he texted you again. youâve never seen anything like it.
ââm not a big texter anâ we donât use personal phones for work, so itâs jusâ a brick i leave at home or lug around. âs nothinâ on you. been thinkinâ about you all day, to be honest.â your mouth is open, honestly. any other man would have never shown you their minute-by-minute screen time, would have begged off the âbusyâ excuse while having been on social media for four hours. simon, by all standards, is genuinely different.
âso, you do like me?â he nodded stiffly, gloved hands reaching for you. you slid into his lap easily, tucking your face into his neck to hide your heated cheeks. youâd even shed a few tears over this, how embarrassing. ââcourse i like you, sweetheart. anâ im sorry if it didnât feel like it. letâs have it out, yeah?â you nod into his skin and he takes a deep breath, pulling you closer to his heart.
from that day on, you compromise with phone calls. when heâs got a few minutes and youâve hit a lull at work, heâll call you. itâs better than any text in the world - hearing his gruff voice asking questions about your messy coworkers or dinner plans. not so nonchalant as you thought.
-
i wish this was from personal experience but unfortunately for me, itâs closer to the men not responding for days but having a screen time of six hours.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#cod 141#simon riley x you#tornadothoughts#ghost call of duty#fluff#angst#simon riley imagine#ghost headcanons#ghost fanfiction#ghost imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley#simon riley x gn reader#simon ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x reader#ghost x y/n
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i am aroace right now - but i used to identify as polyam because it is SO hard to tell what is platonic vs romantic love for me, and i feel so much love in my heart for all of my friends. i love them so much. i love everyone so much. i feel like elementary school valentines day where you decorated those paper bags and gave everybody a card telling them that theyre cool and you love them. where do i get those cards i need to start giving them away like that tiny plastic baby trend. how big is too big do you think for a platonic polycule in a 2 bed apartment. because i love my friends so much im sure we could make it work. what was this post about again
It really says something that a lot of monogamous people consider polyamorous and aromantic to be "opposites" but every polyam person I know took one look at aromantics and said "they're just like me for real"
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Heyoooo, i just read your say it louder and im in love with that so much like holy, so i was wondering if you could make something kinda similar or something? like maybe logans chasing reader because she stole his cigars and they have a cute moment or something along those lines, maybe end a bit with or with smut? thanks so much babes!
Mine Now | DOFP!Logan Howlett x F!Reader
Warnings: Primal!Logan, Scent Tracking, Shotgunning His Cigar, Marking, Implied Smut, Reader is a Mutant who has invisibility, Enemies to Lovers because Iâm a sucker for pain, Takes place at the very end of DOPF when Logan comes back to the future, Pain Kink, Breathing Play, Choking, Claws come out â I repeat the claws come out,
Rating: R â No Minors
Word Count: 4.5K
Authorâs Note: Thank you so much for your request! This was a blast to write and honestly? It gave me a good excuse to write for DOFP!Logan! I adore you! đ Also completely unrelated side noteâŠ.you did say you wanted smut, right??? Because I may, or may not, have spaced you said cutesy and went right to horny.
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âHank, have you seen her?â Logan asks, his voice layered with annoyance. You couldnât help but silently snicker as you watched his brow crease, his nose twitch with frustration, his finger rapping at his side impatiently. The way his jaw ticked as Hank narrowed his own eyes at him made it impossible to hold your laughter, even when you were currently pressed up against the wall â a clear view of the situation going down. You pulled your lip between your teeth as you homed in on Loganâs features, eyes glimmering with rage. It was such a beautiful sight to see, one you have been dreaming of for months. Though youâd never openly admit it, everyone knew, all except him. You had to make the chase worth his while.
Logan Howlett is a force to be reckoned with, everyone told you that. When Charles and Eric first recruited you to teach with them in New York â you thought it was a joke, a cruel one at that. Living paycheck to paycheck in a hole in the wall Hellâs Kitchen apartment, dealing with constantly screaming and fighting from your neighbors, it wasnât where you wanted to be. You were a survivor, you could adapt to anything, but after what you had experienced, you needed a fresh start. Working at a local diner, making shit for tips wasnât ideal, but it was enough to help you save to leave. Where would you go prior to this? You had no idea, but someplace that experiences winter â you always loved the snow. But alas, that dreary November day a few years ago changed everything; It changed you. Meeting Logan on your first day told you everything you needed to know about him â he refuses to get close to anyone, you wanted to break that.
It's been three years since you first met Logan, two since you found yourself thinking he was cute, a year since you felt yourself falling for him, and six months since you started the cat and mouse chase. At first with how standoffish Logan was to you, you started to resent him. A year it took before that all fell to the wayside; Your feelings had shifted when you found him outside one night, crying as he smoked his cigar. Of course, your mutation left you able to turn invisible, able to watch him, without him knowing you were there. Through the heavy rain your smell was masked, he couldnât tell you were there. But it made you feel closer to him; He wasnât some robot who didnât have emotions. He felt them too strong, which is why when he started to slip back into his mind, he pulled away. Being over 200 years old meant he saw some shit, lost people he loved, it took a toll on him after a while. That day forward you stopped keeping your distance, but instead made the effort to be near him, to show him you werenât going anywhere.
Slowly you noticed how Logan started to open up to you, telling you stories of when he was young, his first mission with the X-Men. You got to learn a lot about The Wolverine, and come to find out he wasnât a hard ass â he was sincere, doting, downright admirable. What he dealt with in his years fucked him up horribly to where he didnât trust people easily â but it didnât make him less. He always pushed forward and strove for success, to survive. He wouldnât classify himself as a hero, but he was to you, and he deserved to know. Logan found himself trusting you easily after a year, his lonely nights stuck in his own head turned into game nights with you, strolls through the garden, getting a drink at the bar downtown. He could still be himself, but not have to carry the baggage by himself all the time. Falling hopelessly in love with him was inevitable, but also impossible. Nothing more could happen between the two of you and you knew that â but there was still a flicker of hope in your mind that wouldnât quiet down. Especially with how flirty Logan had become with you.
 Usually, he was like this with Jean and Storm, taking it up a notch with them so he could have the last retort. To say he wasnât a ladiesâ man was a lie, he could pull anyone he wanted to. To Logan it was a game, seeing how flustered he could make him teammates â and he loved to win. With you it was different â it wasnât low growls and light touching on your arms, no, it was more. At first to started off to be resting his chin on your shoulder, letting his breath stroke the column of your neck. Slowly it moved out to touches; Holding your waist from behind, rubbing his large hands over your lower stomach, slipping his hands under your shirt to caress your hip. Over the last few weeks though, he upgraded to holding your face, running his calloused thumb across your bottom lip, stealing forehead and cheek kisses before heading out. Rogue and Kitty that you two were dating, even Bobby got in on it â but when you stated you werenât everyone looked at you like you had six heads.
âNo Logan, I have not.â Hank let his eyes pan to where you were hiding as Logan turned away for a moment, giving you a small wink as he played along. After all, this was his idea â well, his and Xavierâs. You had overheard a conversation about how Loganâs cigar smell had been wafting into their classroomâs lately â distracting everyone as Logan taught. Charles had the bright idea for you to nab them and hold them hostage, until Logan learned his lesson. You on the other hand, were far too gone to do that. Instead you decided to take the cigars, but make a game out of it. Little post it notes with clues on where you were hiding, you stored them all over his bedroom and classroom, thanks to Scott. Ever since Jean told you just how primal Logan could get, how good of a tracker he was, you wanted to test it out for yourself. What better way than take the one thing he cannot live without? âWhat happened this time?â
Logan huffed as he ran both of his hands down his face, coming dangerously close to propping his hip against your body. You had to shuffle slightly as he leaned into the wall, letting his head bounce off the wood a few good times. âLittle shit stole my box of cigars.â He looked exhausted, frustrated, and downright sexy. Seeing how lost and irritable he was without them made you smirk, causing you to bite your lip harder to suppress a whimper. You noticed how Loganâs ear perked up as you gulped, his head turning softly. Hank noticed this almost immediately and replied with a whooping laugh. âHa!â You sighed inaudibly as you silently thanked Hank, knowing he used his booming voice to mask your sounds. Holding one of his hands up to Logan, he snickered as he cleared his throat. âIâm sorry that was cruel of me. What I meant to say is, thatâs funny.â Hank let out a small chortle at Loganâs distain, being met with a flash of a middle finger, and claw too. âThanks, asshole,â Logan huffed as he pushed himself off of the wall, running his hand through his hair.
You watched him intently, thanking whoever was listening for making you have the power of invisibility. Being able to listen to everything going down, while Logan has no idea youâre here, made you feel powerful. You heard talks about how your power could be useful, but ultimately not threatening; Now, youâd beg to differ. Though you grew tiresome of the chase, being a fly on the wall versus a real player. It was fun the first two hours this started, but encroaching on hour six â the school clearing out and the sun almost set on the horizon, you grew slightly bored. âHave you tried the library? She likes to hide there.â Hank let out without hesitancy, making your eyes grow wide. It was like an aha moment for you, choosing the most likely place for last. Earlier it was too crowded, people would know you were there the second Logan came looking for you. But now with the young mutants either outside or in the city due to the upcoming weekend, you knew it would be vacant.
âI know her all too well, Hank. Thatâs the first place I looked.â Hearing Logan say that made your heart flutter, made you feel special that he knew you so well. A strong sigh left your lips as Hank coughed, dreamily staring at Logan as you started to walk backwards. Losing your invisibility for a moment, you stood a few feet behind Logan, walking towards the grand staircase that took you to the library. Waving at Hank, you motioned for it as you smirked, causing Hank to laugh. âYou sure?â He asked, nodding behind Logan. As you stood closer to the staircase, you noticed how Logan was sniffing the air â his body growing tense as he spun around. Itâs when he laid his eyes upon you that you knew he was fed up. It wasnât the primal growl and heavy breathing that got to you, but the way his hazel eyes went from green to black in a split section, his chest heaving as he stared at you. âOh shit,â was all you managed to let out as you turned invisible again, running up the stairs.
Everything was a blur to you, running as fast as your body could take you. Three flights to get where you needed to go seemed like forever, when you were being chased by The Wolverine. He had super human speed, a great nose for sniffing things out, he was at the advantage whilst you were at a disadvantage. Even with scent masking, now that you started to sweat it would make you more obvious, especially when the library was empty. Huffing and puffing as you managed two steps at a time, you refused to look back. But you could hear the stomps of Loganâs boots, clearly taking three steps to match you. Silently you prayed to whoever was listening, to get you to the library safe and sound before Logan got you. The last thing you wanted was for him to pin you to the stairs so everyone could see, that was too on the nose.
Reaching the top step of the library, you managed to sway your way through the wooden chairs and tables, giggling to yourself as you were halfway across the room. Due to the grand nature of the library, especially being two floors, it gave you so many good hiding spots. A circular room to see everything, yet hide in plain sight. As you made it over to the spiral staircase for the second level, you had noticed Logan standing at the entrance of the library, huffing and puffing. It made you snort, seeing how riled up he was. You had to admit, it was sexy to see how pissed off he was, causing a fresh wave of your arousal to coat your panties. Logan seemed to have taken note as he sniffed the air, his eyes cutting across the room straight to yours. âCome on out princess,â he growled, flexing his hands at his side. Slowly you crept up the metal staircase for the second level, taking one step at a time to not elicit any sounds. You let your breathing relax, slowing your heart rate as you kept calm, not needing to give yourself away. But Logan could sense you, eyeing the staircase with every move you made. âI got you now.â
A devilish grin fought to claim his mouth as he pounced over the tables, running on all fours as he landed right at the bottom of the staircase. You managed to get all the way up and around, leaving to the right. Multiple aisles of books covered upstairs, as well as the walls, each window let in the dusk light â showing dust particles roaming the air. Your tell-tale shimmer of invisibility was caught in the light a few times, but Logan was too lost to notice. Finding your perfect hiding spot away from prying eyes, you slotted yourself against the endcap of Psychology of Mutants, knowing no one reads these. You could feel the stagnant beating of your heart at times, wondering if it was due to fear or the thrill of the chase. Maybe it was the aspect of it being bittersweet as well; A years long chase with Logan finally reaching its peak. You knew there would never be going back from this, and that was okay. Stealing his cigars wasnât the endgame, it was only the beginning.
âYou canât hide forever you know,â Logan snarled as he reached the top of the landing, huffing as he eyed every shelf. You could see him, nor did you want to, hoping to God he chose to head left instead of right. Alas you were sorely mistaken as his heavy steps started to echo right, causing you to curse under your breath. SNIKT, you heard the metallic sound echoing through the room, but also your mind, causing you to whimper. Logan had unsheathed his claws, holding them out. The idea of him using the claws on you, pinning you down with them, holding them against your neck made your body run hot, your arousal heightening as the thoughts ran rampant through your mind. âI will catch you.â It was not a threat but a fact, Logan was not kidding anymore. The animal inside of him was taking over, leaving the Logan you knew behind. This was all caused because you pushed him to the point of no return, and you fucking loved it. The reverberation of his claws against the wooden shelves made you shudder, knowing how close he was getting now.
Biting down hard on your lip, you placed your hand over your mouth, trying to regain control of your breathing. Being right across from the last window on the right didnât do you any good, especially with the beam of light falling through. If you moved even a millimeter, you were going to be made. Itâs then when you opened your eyes to pan to your left that you saw his shadow encroaching on you, his stance wide as his claws were pointed at the ground. Each gruff huff he let out made your eyes roll back, finding it harder and harder to keep yourself hidden. You couldnât look away from him either, you needed to watch him; How the sweat beaded at his hairline, how his little tufts of hair were wild from pulling at them, how his snarl got more animalistic the longer he tried to look for you. âWhere did you go?â You couldnât describe how Logan sounded in that moment; Primal and animalistic do not even begin to crest.
You focused too much on his tone, completely forgetting your watchful eye on him. When you glanced back after trying to calm yourself, you noticed the 6â2 Wolverine was no longer walking his way towards the aisles but vanished into thin air. Not knowing where he was, made your heart rate skyrocket â panic ensuing all over your body. Goosebumps arose across your skin as you pondered where he could be, afraid to move in case he was lurking close to you. Maybe he went off to the left instead, leaving you by yourself to escape. It would make sense, considering how you heard the creaking of the floorboards on the opposite side now. Letting out a concealed breath, you slowly moved away from the end cap of the shelf, leaving your back exposed. You knew it was a mistake when the hot, stifling air of the closed space became ice cold, a shiver falling down your spine. The sun shifted away in that moment, blanketing the area in darkness, complete with only a sliver of light, not even to cast shadows. The second your back was exposed; All hell broke loose.
Two strong hands grabbed hold of your hips, pulling you back into a solid form. The yelp you let out was loud enough to echo, but not loud enough to raise suspicion. The strain on your powers had gotten to be too much, slowly slipping back into being visible. You huffed out as your back connected with his chest, your hands finding purchase on his muscular forearms. âThere you are little mouse.â He snickered in your ear, pressing his nose to the pulse point of your neck. Logan deeply inhaled at the vein, his teeth barring to nip at your exposed shoulder. It felt good to have his mouth on you, to have him seemingly obsessed with your scent. After all, it is what gave you away. Whimpering out, you dug your nails into Loganâs arm, feeling the reverberation of his snarl through your body. You couldnât speak, you couldnât move â you were a lost cause. âWhatâs the matter, cat got your tongue?â
Logan was mocking you at this point, purposely being a little shit to mimic how you have been with him. When it came to his cigars, he wasnât fucking around. But when he knew it was you who took them, well he wasnât going to let you live this down. Logan moved from behind you, but kept his hands grasping your flesh. Moving to the side, he pressed your back against the end cap again, bringing you back to your original position. His right hand remained on your hip as his left grasped your neck, pressing against your pulse point, feeling the thrum of blood on your veins. The edges of your vision began to go fuzzy due to the restricted blood flow, but you didnât care. Logan was putting you right in your place, and you were obeying so well for him. âI believe you have something of mine,â he murmured; His prominent nose pressing harshly against your cheek. The warmth of his breath on your skin, mixed with the cold drag of his claws against your skin made you shiver, loving how it felt too much. âI donât know what youâre talking about.â You laughed out, clearly laced with thrill.
Logan didnât take too kindly to you playing dumb, the tick in his jaw spoke measures. His grip on your neck was heavier than before, using his full weight to restrict your blood flow quicker, your vision developing black dots. âOh, you donât?â The challenged in his voice said all you needed to know â he was fucking desperate. There was no hiding it now, he needed you â not his cigars, but you. Gulping down against his large hand, you felt the press of his claws against the back of your neck, pushing through the wood of the bookshelf to lock you in place. He would never intentionally draw blood, or hurt you, but he knew this was your deepest fantasy, all thanks to Jean relaying it. His lips were inches from your ear as he chuckled darkly, groaning out against the flesh. âDo I need to jog your memory?â You shouldnât have been as turned on by that as you were. Your knees buckled slightly as you almost fell, your eyes rolling back into your head.
Logan took advantage of your eyes being closed to pull his hand away from your hip. The loss of touch made you whine, but quickly you were quieted by his roughened tugs. Grabbing at the edge of your tank top, Logan ran his claws through the fabric to create slits, ripping them open just as easily. Looking down at your jeans, he could see the bulge in your pocket â where you had hidden a few of his cigars. A huff of relief fell from his parted lips as she cut your pocket open, letting them fall right into his hand. He mimicked your hiding and shoved them into his own pocket, moving on to the next. The cool breeze against your exposed skin made you quickly heat up; Logan using his claws on you made you lose your fucking mind. He repeated his efforts with your other side, making matching holes in his jeans and shirt, not caring anymore.
It was as the last few cigars rolled out of your pocket that Logan pulled back, his heavy body heat no longer suffocating you. The contact was missed, causing you to pout slightly. âBoo hoo hoo,â Logan mocked as he watched you, walking backwards to push his back against the window. The sill right below it was begging him to sit, so he took advantage of it. Reaching into his left pocket, Logan pulled out his Zippo lighter â flicking it against his pants to ignite the flame. It was intoxicating watching him, how effortlessly fluid his motions were. Biting your cheek, you watched him intently, his eyes never leaving yours. He pulled out the precut cigar from his pocket and pushed it between his lips, favoring his left side for it to rest between his teeth. Lighting the end until the cherry burned bright, he took a few quick puffs, blowing the smoke out in a cloud around him.
Your eyes could not pull away from him even if you tried, it was nearly impossible. The way he moved was like silk through the wind, so effortless and elegant; He knew he was hot like this. Taking another quick drag, Logan let the smoke fall from his lips as he tucked the cigar back in between his teeth, putting away his lighter. Reaching forward with his claws still extended, he hooked two of the blades into the belt loop of your jeans, tugging you forward. There was about a personâs space between the bookshelf and the window, making it easy for him to grab at you. Of course, your body obeyed his silent command, tripping slightly as you tried to regain your footing. Placing both of your hands on his thick, warm thighs, you licked your lips. The smoke being released from both the cigar and his mouth captured your attention, making it difficult to focus on what he was saying. The way his motions flowed were so smooth, it was impossible to say anything else to him.
Taking a rather large drag of his cigar, he puffed his cheeks out a bit to hold it all in. It took you by surprise, why he was holding it all in his mouth. Retracting his claws on his right hand, Logan grabbed at your jaw like a man possessed, pushing his meaty fingertips into your flesh. The slight ache of his possessiveness made your mouth part, a pained look on your face that you were lost in. Logan got close to you, his lips only mere inches away from your mouth as you whimpered. With your lips parted, Logan mimicked your motions as he breathed out. The soft, heady tendrils of smoke wafted from his mouth into yours, causing you to let them stir. Tobacco mixed with the sweetness of the wrap caused your eyes to dilate, boring into Logan with pure unadulterated lust. There was no mistaking it as he shotgunned his cigar with you, his smirk prevalent. âThatâs my good girl.â He crooned, taking in your big eyes, the heat of your skin â basking in your glory.
You blew the smoke right back at Logan while he chuckled, licking his lips to wet them as he took another puff. There was something so intoxicating about how you reacted, it was like watching a painting come to life. From the first day he met you, he knew you were something else â he had to challenge you. Almost four years later and youâre still trying to get with him, he admired it. Finally, the silent love he had for you could be shown, but he wasnât going to make it easy for you. You made him work to catch you, now you had to work to get what you wanted. âGet on your knees.â The command fell off of Loganâs lips so naturally you almost didnât catch it at first. Your eyes glossy as you watched him, your brain not keeping up. Narrowing his eyes at you, he cocked his brow as he laid the cigar to the side, watching to see your reaction. âIâm sorry?â You questioned without realizing, your face slack with lust.
Reaching forward towards you, Logan grabbed your neck once more, this time yanking you so close to his face that you felt his breath waft over your features. âGet. On. Your. Fucking. Knees.â There was no hesitation in Loganâs voice as he stated his command, letting his face go rigid to show he was getting pissed off. âDonât make me repeat myself.â You wanted to, every fiber of your being wanted to disobey him, make him angry so he was rough with you â at the same time you didnât want to make him mad, not yet anyway. Nodding to him against his hand, you slipped down to your knees easily with a moan, pressing out your wet bottom lip as you gazed up at him.
Logan rolled his eyes as he grabbed the cigar again, pressing it against your lips. Itâs when you take a drag of it that he pulls out, putting it in his own mouth once more. With his hand now free from holding his cigar, he quickly flicked open his belt buckle, undoing the top button on his jeans as you took the silent command to pull his zipper down. His erection was stiff against his jeans and left nothing to the imagination. He was big, he was hot, and he was fucking turned on. Watching you with a lustful glow in his eyes, Logan groaned as he watched you, never letting you have the last word: âYou may have started the game princess, but I am going to finish it.â
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.Â
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzyâs face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.Â
âIsrael-goddamn-Hands!â he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging âSamuel-fucking-Bellamyâ, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he canât keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still thereâs an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mateâs aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that somethingâs different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal heâs been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. âIsrael, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safeâ
And Izzy⊠hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam â...Weâre staying in port for a week. Ask me again thenâ
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.
im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown
no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i donât remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. iâm discounting possessions and dwarves)
i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear thereâs a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big âillario is being influenced and doesnât even knowâ revealâ same as you anon like great minds am i rightâ but iâm not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by âoh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magicâ
it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so iâm not too fussed abt these details lolđ€
the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spiteâs wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)
#have been waiting all day to get out of work to draw what i have not stopped rotating in my head#also drawing is not totally clear yes that is lucanis using one hand to hold back illario trying to claw at him yayyyyyyy#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#my art#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#sorry. i was going to reply to this yesterday but my friend finished the lucanis questline#we were discussing this for a bit so the reply is a little more in depth and thought out#also both of the remaining dellamorte heirs both being possessed is fun to ME .#forget house dellamorte being cooked we HAVE to make sure theyâre burning and smoking and potentially even on fire#i wish we got to make the crows actually confront what a possessed heir would mean#but that is largely overshadowed in the game by caterinaâs kidnapping#and also feels underused because nothing of note goes terribly bad#he doesnât even draw any blood when spite tries to kill illario#truly wish lucanispite would have gone out of control and killed someone. idk who tho#maybe. lol. jacobus come here. i need you to die tragically
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This is huge! People are not static and are subject to change. I definitely understand it being hard to forgive. But as a Christian, I often think about the fact that Jesus already paid the cost for my sins. It doesn't matter if you feel like I'm right or wrong, good or bad. JESUS ALREADY PAID THE COST! I am already forgiven!! That's how forgiveness works. Like even when people feel like you don't deserve it, guess what, IM ALREADY MOVING ON TO BEING A BETTER PERSON! You can't have today and yesterday at the same time. You will lose today trying to catch up from yesterday or you can let go of yesterday and move forward with today. If you was shitty yesterday, that should make that choice really easy for you. Take the present, grow, learn, and be better than yesterday! People may not forgive you and they might not feel like you deserve better, but you are already forgiven. Live your life like you have been forgiven and I promise forgiveness will come. (Forgiveness includes repentance, but that's a post for another day...)
the concept and idea of âyou can always start trying to be a better personâ is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible
because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better personÂ
from a compassionate point of view itâs deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view itâs outright frustrating
itâs fucked up.Â
#recovery#healing#growth#mental wellness#blktumblr#black tumblr#90s baby#personal thoughts#personal growth#self growth#spiritual growth#self awareness#note to self#self help#self reflection#self improvement#positive self talk#self compassion#self concept#self development#be the change#forgiveness#motivation#social justice#new perspective
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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be âgoodâ are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like âin defense of menâ when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
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I'm here | sylus x mc/reader
An: this came up bec it happen to me I frequently got nightmares. And the only thing that makes me go back to sleep is hugging my plushy and listening to some music
Words : 0.5k more or less
It was late at night as you sleep in sylus bedroom , sylus went out with the twins for a meeting leaving you alone.
You couldn't move .
Your body cold even when you have the blanket around you .
You couldn't wake up from this dream, you knew it was a dream but can't wake up. You wake up many times but can't get out of if. You are stuck in this sleep paralysis
You finally woke up when sylus came to the room and saw the discomfort on your face. He gently wakes you up. Softy shaking your shoulders to wake you up
" sweetie? "
" are you alright ? " you jolted awake you looked around your surroundings before you stood up from the bed, sylus gently warps his arm around your shoulder using his thumb to rub smooth circles.
Hes clearly worried about you
" yea...im fine now.. Just had a nightmare that I couldn't wake up, don't think I can sleep for the time being "
" is that so... I have a way to make you sleep better. Give me a minute , sweetie" with that sylus leave the room
He comes back with a cup of warm milk and handed to you.
He started to play one of his vintage record player as it plays some classical music.
" do you want to talk about your nightmare , sweetie? "
" it's just something stupid nightmare that hunts me everytime " sylus brow frown knowing this isn't the first time you've gone through it
" how did the meeting go ?" You asked putting the mug down next to the night stand . Changing the subject
" it went surprisingly well , I do have have another meeting soon" he changed his clothes and joins you on the bed
" they why are you changing ?" You asked curiously as he's switching for his usual work clothes to his sleep wear
" to get to bed, what ells kitten "
" but don't you have another meeting soon?"
" they won't mind if I move the date. " he pulled you closer to his chest and played with your hair
" you are more important right now, i can't go out without worrying you having another nightmare that you can't wake up from "
"Thank you...sy'' you snuggled against his chest wrapping your arm around him feeling his warmth
" shhh... Go to sleep"
" and don't worry I'm here "
As the night got darker, rain slowly made its way to the ground. The sound of rain and the sound of the music playing in the back and the warmth from sylus... It didn't take you long before sleeps takes over you
This would also suit for zayne x mx / reader too don't you think?
Sho I write it down?
#lnds#lnds sylus#love and deep space#love and deepspace#sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x mc#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#love and deepspace sylus#l&ds sylus
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Is This a Tragedy?
You're an actor and you finally got your big role in a hit TV show. Unfortunately your character only made it to Season 2 before they killed you off. This is how I imagine the lads men react to watching that scene [Requested by: Anon]
đđđąđđ
calm cool and collected on the outside; whole time he's really having an internal breakdown
grips your hand a little tighter in his as the scene progresses
âare you dying? is this a tragedy?â
is very aware that itâs just a show, but canât stop his heart from pounding at the thought of losing you
rubs his eyes to keep himself from tearing up
stares at you after the episode ends âWhat?â âThe thought of losing you has always terrified me; watching you perform that scene does not helpâ âitâs my job Zayne besides im right hereâ
finds himself staring at you more often just trying to commit every feature of yours to memory
never willingly watches that episode again
skips over that part every time or just turns the show off âYou still canât watch it?â âNoâ
praises you for the phenomenal performance although he claims it was a little too realistic
đđđđđąđđ
is great at slipping in and out of character so he was the one helping you with your acting skills
sits up straight when he realizes what's happening âis this the scene you've been keeping secret?â
falls out immediately in your lap
bawling his eyes out goes as far to curl up in your lap
would be so proud of not only you, but himself as well for helping you perfect your craft
âDo I get credit as the acting coach?â âYes would you like a reward?â âYou know I doâ
Although heâs proud of you he canât bring himself to watch the episode again also doesn't continue watching the show in general "they killed off my favorite character how can I continue watching it now?"
keeps pushing you to work on crying on command so if you need to cry for your next roll itâs even better
acted out the scene with you at home for fun once and had a mental breakdown
đđđđđđ
Fell asleep in the middle of the show and missed it
âjust watch it when you get a chanceâ âno replay itâ
immediately turns the show off in the middle of the scene
âim not watching thisâ âXavâŠâ âNoâ
drills you with questions about why you didnât tell him you were dying in that episode
âI canât watch that donât make me watch itâ "You're being a little dramatic don't you think?"
pouts, pouts, and pouts some more
wonât watch it no matter how much you beg
although he never finished watching the whole scene he holds your hand tighter now these days
asks for a warning next time so he can prepare himself âŠâŠ to fast forward
đđąđđđ
watches quietly giving away nothing
âYou even shed a few tears for your own scene?â teases you for crying at your own death scene âit looks different after the editing okay!â
won't admit it, but one time was enough
âit made you sad didnât it?â âWell I donât take pleasure in watching you die onscreen sweetieâ âim alive thoughâ âLet's keep it that wayâ
weasels his way out of watching the scene again
his voice slightly wavers whenever you bring it up
avoids eye contact when you tease him about it
held you tighter at night for at least a month
Bonus: the twins bawled their eyes out and tackled you to the ground with a bone crushing hug
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lnds rafayel#lnds xavier#lnds zayne#lnds#zayne love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
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oh my god this whole fucking thread is images, get ready for it
[ID:
First image: a tweet from @/autismlor that says "Sorry for being so inactive on this account, the Taylor hyperfixation kinda died a little once I started getting laid Imao" underneath in the replies they say "People bookmarking this are you gonna come back after you get laid and report if it happens to you too or"
Second image: a tweet from @/meanlore that says "honestly ever since i got on the right meds it's been really hard for me to care about taylor swift being gay" then in the replies they say "(lamotrigine for anyone wondering !!)"
Third image: an instagram post from @/btsarmy222777 the photo is a pink and purple gradient with the text "SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING ON HERE A LOT GUYS I STARTED TAKING A MOOD STABILIZER AND NOW I'M NOT OBSESSED WITH BTS ANYMORE" in white. The caption reads "Still love them though đ" (purple heart emoji.)
Fourth image: a tweet from @/larryslittlefrk that says "sorry for being so inactive lately, just wanted to give you all total transparency đ" (double pink heart emoji) with a screenshot of a notes app entry attached. The note is titled đš (siren emoji) life update đš (siren emoji). The text below it reads "hey guys! Life update!!! So they found a bunch of mold in my dorm vent and since l've been home and on antibiotics I noticed how much better I am really feeling and also feel like I can think more clearly now, and with a heavy heart I have to admit I think being a no stunt Larry was probably the mold talking. Not really sure why any part of that makes sense, especially Louis's fake kid and them both hiring beards for 10 years when they pick their own managers now... guess black mold can really affect your brain hahaha! anyways i'm so grateful for the friends i've made through this community and i hope all of you reach the same clarity as i have â€ïž (red heart emoji) get your vents checked everyone!"
Fifth image: an instagram post from @/jamesmcavoyupdates. The image is a photo of James Mcavoy standing on what looks to be a gate. The caption reads "im done with this account. Thank you for all the laughs but i have no motivation to keep updating on James. this account was initially to help me let my feelings out and sometimes rant but my antidepressants have started working and they helped me realize i actually do not like James mcavoy as much as i thought i did. If you were looking forward to my updates i apologize you will have to find another account to follow as i am no longer suffering from mental illness. Xx â€ïž (red heart emoji)"
/end ID]
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zosan streamer au except theyre both faceless and both unknowing fans of each otherâs online personas, kinda like a miraculous ladybug situation
zoro and sanji know each other irl and they HATE each other even though luffy is their mutual friend, they had terrible first impressions of each other and well, letâs just say some nasty things were said from both sides
meanwhile, sanji is a huge fan of zoroâs stream persona and zoros a huge fan of sanjiâs stream persona
their fans want them both to collab, so they set up a collab using their online personalities and when they collab, their popularity skyrockets because of the shippers (of course)
sanji finds zoroâs online personality really fun to talk to and vice versa so they start getting closer and closer, eventually delving into just pure flirting
zoro eventually brings up the prospect of meeting irl cuz its obvious that theyre both into each other
sanji has a conundrum cuz he doesnât known this man irl or what he even looks like
he knows that the man is kind, patient, and unassumingly funny. for some reason, behind the wall of online anonymity, sanjis able to open up about his past, his trauma, his inner turmoil, and his family. the stranger listens intently and somehow always find the right things to say. he finds himself falling in love with this stranger, this faceless man
he knows that falling in love shouldnt be this easy, this painless, but sanjis life had been nothing but pain and grit, maybe, just maybe, he can have something easy for once, something he doesnt need to claw, scream, and beg for
then, sanji and zoro finally arrange a meeting (more like a date) and see each other for the first time
they both freeze, zoro stares in shock and sanji stares in horror
of course things would never be that easy, he was a fool to ever think that things would go his way for once. of course the man that he fell in love with was the man that also hated him all along
it was fun while it lasted.
zoro wasnt even able to open his mouth before sanji ran, so fast that zoro had no way to follow him (no, it wasnât cuz he got lost, sanji was just fast okay?!)
he tries his best to contact sanji but sanji is radio silent: absolutely no word from him, not even luffy knows where he is
zoro stops and thinks for the first time in a probably a decade, he talks to luffy, he talks to usopp and they all agree that the next best thing to do is to make a public video basically asking sanji to please text him back (it was luffys idea that usopp encouraged and zoro reluctantly follows along cuz well, luffy said it would work so it must)
they film a low-budget, low-quality video where zoro is just on his knees saying please please please over and over again, the description says âplease call me curly lets talk đ„șđđŒđđŒâ
(usopp wrote the description, luffy directed the video, if it was anyone else, zoro might have thought they were setting him up but he trusts them wholeheartedly)
it gets posted on his main channel and it goes viral cuz its so primally stupid and relatable, zoro basically exposes himself as the really popular faceless streamer but fans are NOT disappointed cuz the man is FINE AS HELL
it ends up on sanjis feed while hes in the middle of doomscrolling and crying to nami and robin and they all just see sanjis crush begging him for attention, they look at each other and look at the video again
nami, ever the voice of reason, basically forces sanji to text him at least. zoro made sanji happy and it would be a disservice to sanji if he just let that slip away without a fight
they talk it out, end up actually meeting face to face and they find that their chemistry is electric and sanji begins to hope again
in the end, they make a video together showing their faces and reveal their relationship to their fans and the shippers go wild
tldr
zosan: im falling in love with oomf???
#one piece#sanji#zoro#zosan#zosan fanfic#ao3#one piece zosan#fanfic#crack fic#crack post#am i funny yet#i think this is funny#may be ooc#but idc tbh i feel like this is what their personalities would be like if they were born in modern times#zoro x sanji#zoro is a simp and sanji is a simp but more lowkey about it#they like to fuck with their fans#i love sanji#modern au#streamer au
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HEYYY I LUV UR POSTS LIKE HELLO?!?! also im sure u know abt the bakugo hc with him with him having hearing aids and is it ok of u make like a fic with him signing nasty stuff to reader cuz he can and nobody around them fully learned sign language yet? PLS AND THANK U!!! đđđ
first of all, THANK YOU!! ILYSM!! second, i am BACK!!!! exams went well, i guess. i didnt PASS or FAIL, but whatever.. third, I LOVE THIS IDEA HAHAHHA!!! here is, what I think, a great welcoming back gift to give u all á(ââžâŒâ¶)á (ignore that Kaminari's text is blue..there's no yellow. ALSO, mina is NAWT taking pink. thats OUR color now.)
Of Silence and Secrets
â â â â â â đ
â â â â â â â Pro Hero!Bakugou x AFAB!Pro Hero!Reader
âŠ..
Bakugou Katsuki hated his hearing aids.
Hated how they fit, hated how they felt, and most of all, hated what they represented. Weakness. A crack in the armor heâd spent his entire life forging. When the ringing in his ears started as a brat in middle school, he didnât think much of it. Just the fallout from a quirk-boosted explosion, nothing he couldnât handle.
Years passed. The ringing grew into dull hums, muffled voices, and missed sounds. A villainâs retreating taunt he couldnât catch. The screech of a car he didnât hear. Kirishima shouting his name three times before Bakugou finally turned around, snarling, âWhat the hell do you want!?â while Kirishima just looked⊠worried.
His hearing aids were a damn nuisance. At least, thatâs what he told himself every single day.
They whined if someone got too close, buzzed when he adjusted them wrong, and gods forbid he so much as grazed them during a fightâone hard knock, and theyâd go flying. He could hear again, sure, but better hearing came at a price: realizing just how insufferably loud the world actually was. Katsuki had spent months in denial, refusing to accept that his ears, like the rest of his high-octane life, couldnât keep up with him.
The ringing had started in his late teens, growing louder until it followed him everywhere. He blamed it on the explosions, the debris, the constant yellingâbut really, he knew. His mom did too, though sheâd spared him the lecture until the day Kirishima cornered him in his agency office with a sheepish grin and her voice on speakerphone.
âKatsuki.â The way she said his nameâsharp, biting, and so unlike her usual bark of âOi, you brat!ââmade his stomach drop. âWhat if somethinâ happens? What if you miss an evac order orâhellâa cry for help? Hah? What then?â
â⊠Tch.â He had scowled so hard it hurt. âFine. Iâll get the damn things.â
The intervention was humiliating, but the worst part? She was right. He hated that more than anything.
That was the first night he slept with the hearing aids sitting on the nightstand. Heâd finally picked them up after a year of constant badgeringâfrom his mom, Kirishima, hell, even that damn Deku. It wasnât that he didnât want to hear betterâit was the admission that killed him.
But now? Now the stupid things were glued to him. Mostly.
The tech was incredible, of course. Damn nerds at Hero Support had outdone themselves. The hearing aids didnât just amplify sound; they filtered it, isolating voices during chaos and syncing with comm units. They were waterproof, explosion-proofâBakugou-proof. Allegedly.
But they werenât indestructible. Heâd broken five pairs in six months. Kaminari had nicknamed him âBreak-aidâ after the third replacement. Bakugou threatened to shove them where the sun didnât shine.
And yet⊠they worked. Too well.
He could hear the scratch of pens during hero conferences, the obnoxious tapping of Kaminariâs foot against the table, the quiet sigh of his own breath. The worst part? The incessant talking. It was everywhere. Fans, reporters, civiliansâpeople who thought their every word needed an audience.
Thankfully, heâd discovered the mute button.
The first time he used it, Kaminari was midway through a rant about his latest gadget. Bakugou, in a rare moment of self-control, didnât yell. He just flicked the switch, leaned back in his chair, and smirked as Kaminari kept babbling. No explosions, no shouting, just blissful silence.
But there were downsides.
Combat was a nightmare when they broke. Shouting âHUH!?â every five seconds wasnât exactly strategic. Thatâs when he decided to learn sign language. Not because anyone suggested itâhell no. But because heâd be damned if he relied on a gadget to do his job.
The process was⊠frustrating. Hands clumsy, movements stiff. Kirishima tried to help, but his signs were barely legible. Kaminari? Useless. Sero was too busy laughing to be much better or resorted to typing in the Notes app on his phone when it was pretty serious. Deku? That nerd had picked it up in a week, naturally.
But you? You made it bearable.
âLike this,â youâd said, your fingers forming a perfect sign. âThumb tucked in.â
Bakugou grumbled, but copied you.
âGood. See? That wasnât so bad, was it, âSuki?â
Your patience annoyed him almost as much as it calmed him. And somehow, over weeks of practice, his stiff movements turned fluid. Heâd never admit it, but he liked having this⊠language, this connection, with you.
And then he realized something else.
You understood him. Not just the signs, but him. The sharpness he couldnât quite soften, the quiet gratitude he couldnât voice. And better yet? No one else around him could understand a damn thing he was saying.
It started innocently enoughâwell, innocent by his standards.
âBored out of my goddamn mind,â heâd signed at you during a hero conference.
Youâd smirked and replied, âSame.â
But then, Bakugou being Bakugou, had an epiphany: he could sign anything.
The first time he tried it, you were sitting across from him at a formal hero banquet. The room was filled with pro heroes, reporters, and politicians. Everyone was dressed to the nines, sipping champagne and pretending the world wasnât on fire outside.
Bakugou caught your eye and, with the most deadpan expression, signed: Wanna fuck?
Your head snapped up so fast you nearly knocked your glass over. You choked, coughing into your hand, and when someone asked if you were okay, you waved them off, avoiding his gaze.
He smirked, sipping his water like he hadnât just propositioned you in a room full of Japanâs elite.
âŠ..
It got worse.
During a meeting with the Hero Public Safety Commission, while a bureaucrat droned on about policy changes, Bakugouâs hands moved under the table. He made sure you were looking before signing: Iâd rather have you ride me than sit here with these extras.
You froze mid-note, the pen slipping from your fingers. Your face burned as you ducked your head, pretending to scribble something in your notebook. Across the room, Kirishima noticed your sudden movement.
âHey, you good?â he whispered.
âFine!â you squeaked, glaring at Bakugou.
He tilted his head, feigning confusion, then casually leaned back in his chair. He looked so smug you wanted to scream.
At a press conference, surrounded by the press corps, TV cameras, and the elite of the hero world, Bakugou stood stiffly at the podium, bored out of his skull. Beside him, you shuffled the note cards youâd prepared, doing your best to stay focused on Midoriyaâs answer to a question about villain reform strategies.
Bakugou glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, smirking at how focused you looked. That only made the idea pop into his head faster. He adjusted his stance, one hand casually coming up to rub his neck as the other signed with precision:
Iâd fuck you so hard over this podium, the microphones would short out.
Your brain stalled like a computer blue-screening. The cards slipped from your hands, scattering onto the stage floor. You froze in horror as a sea of reporters looked up from their notebooks.
Midoriya, ever the anxious public speaker, stopped mid-sentence. âUh, are you okay?â he asked.
âY-yeah! Just... clumsy!â you stammered, dropping to your knees to collect the cards. You didnât dare look at Bakugou, whose hand came up to his mouth as though stifling a yawnâbut you knew he was hiding a smirk.
To make things worse, while you scrambled on the floor, he signed again, deliberately slower so you couldnât miss it:
Wouldâve pulled your hair too, just to hear you scream.
Your face burned so hot you were sure youâd melt through the stage.
It didnât stop there.
At the next agency-wide meeting, Bakugou sat across from you in the conference room, arms crossed as a pro-hero you couldn't bother to listen to went on and on about new combat protocols. The room was packed with pro heroes, all seated shoulder-to-shoulder.
Bakugou, whoâd already tuned out after the first ten minutes, caught your gaze and raised an eyebrow. Before you could react, his hands moved subtly under the table:
Iâd eat you out on this table, right in front of everyone, and make sure you couldnât stay quiet.
The coffee cup in your hand slipped, splashing onto your notes. You cursed under your breath, grabbing napkins to clean the mess.
Kirishima, sitting beside you, leaned over. âWhoa, you okay? Youâve been jumpy lately.â
You forced a smile, not daring to look at Bakugou, whose expression remained infuriatingly neutral. âIâm fine. Just tired.â
It became a game to him.
While Kirishima nodded and went back to his notes, Bakugou adjusted in his chair and signed again:
Bet youâd cry if I used my mouth the way Iâm thinking. Probably beg me to stopâbut you wouldnât really mean it.
You slammed your pen down so hard it startled Kaminari, who glanced over with a confused look.
âYou good?â he asked.
âIâm fine,â you snapped, refusing to look up.
Across the table, Bakugou leaned back, feigning boredom, but his eyes glinted with amusement.
It escalated during a casual outing with the crew.
Everyone had gathered at a bustling ramen joint after a long patrol, crowding into a booth that was way too small for so many people. Bakugou sat to your right, thigh pressed against yours under the table. As the conversation flowed around him, he picked up a pair of chopsticks and casually started eating.
Then, as Mina told a story about her latest villain takedown, he turned his head slightly toward you and signed with one hand:
The things Iâd do to you under this table would make you scream so loud theyâd kick us out.
You froze, chopsticks hovering mid-air. He didnât even blink, slurping his noodles like he hadnât just dropped a verbal nuke into your lap.
âWhatâs wrong?â Mina asked, noticing your deer-in-headlights expression.
âUh⊠spicy broth,â you choked out, grabbing your water and gulping it down.
Bakugou, still chewing, glanced at you out of the corner of his eye and added another one for good measure:
Bet I could make you cum without anyone noticing. Wanna test that theory?
You almost choked on your drink, coughing so hard Kirishima patted your back in concern.
At a charity event, he raised the bar again.
The ballroom was filled with reporters, politicians, and wealthy donors, all eager to mingle with Japanâs most famous heroes. Bakugou hated these events with a burning passion, but at least you were there to make it tolerable.
You stood beside him, chatting politely with a group of businessmen, when you felt his gaze on you. Slowly, you turned your head, already dreading what was coming.
He didnât disappoint. With the straightest face youâd ever seen, he signed:
Youâd look so much better on your knees, with my cock down your throat, than in that dress.
Your hand shot out, nearly spilling your champagne as you fumbled to keep your composure. The Pro Hero you were speaking to paused mid-sentence, giving you a concerned look.
âAre you alright, maâam?â
âIâIâm fine,â you stuttered, setting the glass down before you could break it.
Bakugou tilted his head innocently, signing again:
Bet youâd love it if I bent you over that balcony upstairs. Bet youâd be dripping by the time I was done.
Your jaw dropped, and you 'accidentally' kicked his shin under the table. He didnât even flinch.
It wasnât just formal settings, either. Bakugou would strike anywhere.
During a team training session, you were sparring with Kaminari while Bakugou watched from the sidelines. When you finally landed a clean hit, knocking Kaminari flat on his ass, Bakugou clapped slowly, catching your attention.
Wanna know what else you could knock flat? Me. On my back. With you riding me till I forget my own goddamn name.
Your sparring stance faltered, and Kaminari took the opportunity to trip you.
âHey, you alright?â he asked, offering a hand to help you up.
âIâm fine!â you snapped, shooting a glare at Bakugou, who was grinning like heâd just won the lottery.
The worst of all came during a live broadcast.
The Hero Public Safety Commission had organized a televised Q&A with Japanâs top heroes. You sat between Bakugou and Midoriya, fielding questions from both the moderator and the live audience. Bakugou had been unusually quiet for most of the event, arms crossed, eyes half-lidded.
But then, while the moderator addressed Midoriya, Bakugou caught your attention.
His hands moved lazily, almost imperceptibly, as he signed:
After this, Iâm gonna pin you to the wall in the dressing room and fuck you so hard you wonât be able to walk out of here straight.
Your eyes widened, and you immediately looked away, heart hammering in your chest.
âAnd what about you?â the moderator asked, pulling your attention back to the present.
âIâIâm sorry, could you repeat the question?â you stammered, cheeks flaming.
Beside you, Bakugou leaned back in his chair, smirking as the moderator repeated the question. His hands shifted again, just enough for you to catch his next message:
If you blush any harder, theyâre gonna think youâre into this.
You resisted the urge to scream.
Because, for Bakugou, nothing was funnier than watching you squirm. And knowing you were the only one who could decode his filthy little secrets? That was just the icing on the cake.
âŠ..
Over time, the signing became a secret game. A language only the two of you shared, even if it was insanely one sided. In battle, it was strategicâefficient, silent communication when words couldnât cut through the noise. Off the field? It was something else entirely.
After a particularly grueling patrol, Bakugou flopped onto the couch beside you, tugging his hearing aids out and tossing them onto the table.
âAnother shitty day,â he muttered.
You hummed in agreement, leaning against him.
Without thinking, he signed: Youâre the only thing that doesnât piss me off.
You blinked, caught off guard. âWhat?â
He smirked, shaking his head. âNothinâ, Cupcake. Just watch the TV..â
And for once, you didnât press.
Because sometimes, silence said enough.
#this was actually so hallarios to type LMAO#ËïœĄâàšà§Ë kimmie's my hero academia masterlist#â§ïœ„ïŸwriting from kimmie â§ïœ„ïŸ#đă»from me to u đ#âżă»kimmieâs lil daydreamsă»âż#đă»blurb by kimmieă»đ#đă»kimmieâs mini ficsă»đ#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo katuski#bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bnha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki x you#bakugou#pro hero bakugou#pro hero dynamight#pro hero katsuki#my hero academia#mha#bnha#đă»one-shot wonders đ#â§ïœ„ïŸ: * kimmie's notes
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i enjoy ur bird abode thoughts! I was a genuine enjoyer of the show when it was airing, Iâm no die hard fan though and love to see ppls personal takes on the overall story/plot. Im curious if you also would agree or have any thoughts on the impacts The Mouseâs cancellation had on the shows ability to be more than it was? srry im not super eloquent with my words, but basically ur response to that ask got me wondering if part of the reason the show like genuinely wasnt all that ground breaking or unique in the end plot wise (other than the villain faces consequences in the end ig) as far as YA/Teen animation goes, was because of The Mouseâs inability to let the writers flesh out the show before gutting it? i have a negative bias toward The Mouse franchise and obviously dont know anything about how writing a show under the eyes of a franchise that big would work, its just smth that rattles around in my head and wanna know what u think!
Well to an extent, but I think it's much more the effect the studio had on how the owl house started out as rather than it not getting a full season at the end - It didn't escape my noticed that the show was initially announced as being a "horror comedy" when it doesn't really seem like either, especially by the second season, and yeah, the original pitch bible is obviously aiming for that much more than the show proper is as it goes along (and is honestly seems quite a bit more funny, weird, and dark, with an overarching plotline about a giant bug being used to religiously suppress people, eda able to cure her curse by killing luz, and one of the major characters being a teen boy awoken from a sleeping curse who ends up being a weird little bigot because he's from the 13th century, among other things)
(side note, i just noticed they actually specifically describe the thing i assumed the show was gonna be about here. huh.) but ultimately the bulk of the show that was actually made seems very influenced by a writing team that was genuinely interested in making a tropey YA fantasy story rather than just being mandated to. I mean even in what aired you can see the show sort of settle in ways that feel less like studio interference and more like, you know, art students creating their ideal fantasy show, like how King is clearly Eda's roommate who's funny because he looks like and sounds like a little dog despite being an adult man at the beginning but by the end they've made him her adopted sad backstory son who's explicitly a child. While I think a third season would have made the show as it existed better, because they clearly didn't get to finish the plot they wanted to (frankly to the point where some major aspects of the show are a bit confusing, I'm still not sure what a grimwalker is), I don't really fault the show for that but also don't think that hypothetical season (which pretty clearly would have been mostly about the magic school teens going to normal school) would suddenly flip around into something that I personally found interesting and subversive. Nor should it, really; again, it being Queernorm Harry Potter thing is clearly the intended appeal of the show, it's not really a flaw but just not a genre I'm personally interested in when compared to what I initially expected the show to be.
HOWEVER I will say they robbed little weird girls of their representation and that can't be forgiven
#does this not make sense or sound mean. I'm not trying to sound mean. it's fine. you'll like it if queernorm magic school sounds appealing#which it will to many many people#I think what happened is that they were studio mandated to make some changes that weakened the initial idea#but then the writers#all again tumblr art students#were just as interested if not more in making their own played entirely straight YA magic school thing#probably more than i even grasp as according to a friend who loves the show there's like.#cassandra claire harry potter fanfic references I'm not picking up on
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