#im also going to try to make this a self contained story

[lucius-the-sinful]

off again to start a new fanfic series i won't finish

[buckys-little-belle]

Im scared to but my first Barbie, but I really want one! Sooooo bad. Can you maybe write Steve and Bucky meeting a she/her reader in the Barbie spot in a store and being nice to her? Maybe buying her a Barbie and some clothes? And they are just nice?

Barbie Aisle Buddies

Stucky x Shy!Little!Reader (She/Her Pronouns Used)

Warnings - The reader is generally a worry wart so she has a bit of 'panic' and worry during this fic, it gets resolved by the end and fluff ensues after her worry.

Notes - I honestly pulled inspiration from a fic I had written a while ago about a shy reader in a toy aisle, so I hope it's okay that I made the ready shy. This is also pretty short! But also so cute!!! Also I know it can be scary going to a store and buying toys but I promise you it's okay! I have bought so many Barbies and Barbie toys like clothes, and I described a Barbie I own in this story! Don't let worry eat you up, go buy the Barbie! Trust me when I tell you it's worth the worry, having fun dolls that I get to play with and dress up is so fun and I don't regret getting them! You only live once bubba, don't let the worry get you down for too long! I hope you get a Barbie soon!!! <3

SFW - Keep all interactions with the post, and this blog, SFW!

. ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ .

Y/n had been hyping herself up for a month now. Twenty dollars in her pocket, and a determined state of mind were all she had as she walked up and down the Barbie aisle of her local grocery store. It was a small selection of dolls, yet so overwhelming at the same time.

Some dolls had different jobs, chef, doctor, fashion designer. Others had fancy outfits or animal sidekicks. It was hard to pick just one doll, but seeing as she only had enough money for one doll, she knew she had to pick just one.

"Hello." A man's voice broke through her overthinking, a man stood just a few feet away, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, some worn out sneakers on his feet. He looked familiar, though Y/n couldn't place just where she had seen him before. "I'm Steve." He smiled, turning to look at the same shelf she had her eyes on previously. "It's hard to pick one, isn't it?"

"Um." Y/n panicked, trying to remember the excuse she had made up regarding why she was in this aisle. Did she land on 'getting a toy for a friend's kid' or 'I have a birthday party to attend'?

"Steve!" Another man's voice called out. This time a man dressed all in black, combat boots and gloves included, planted himself a few feet away. "Hi there, Doll." He smiled, Y/n couldn't help but smile back, the man's charm winning her over. "Which one do you have your eye on?" He asked as he scanned the shelves, hands crossed over his chest, looking at the plethora of choices like he too was thinking about getting one.

"Oh, I'm not, I'm just, you know, a, I don't, I." Y/n began stuttering, trying to get out an excuse, any excuse, to make them believe she wasn't buying a Barbie doll for herself.

"Dolls don't have an age, Doll." The man without a name chuckled. "If you're looking for a Barbie to play with I would suggest one that comes with a few items." He began pointing to a few sets she had looked at, but sets that were over her budget.

"I like this one." Y/n quickly grabbed a doll she had her eye on. She was a chef and came with a pan and what looked to be a fried egg. She had a chefs hat and coat, and looked fun enough, but the biggest pull was it was the only doll with accessories that was in her price range.

"She'll need some everyday clothes." Steve squatted down to a lower shelf, rummaging through some small containers for a set of clothes.

"I can't, I just. This is all I can get." Y/n smiled with a hint of self conciseness. Admitting you didn't have a lot of Barbie money to strangers wasn't the end all be all, but at the same time it still felt extremely venerable.

"Well, Doll." The unnamed man with a smile full of charm spoke again. "It's your lucky day then." He pulled the cart Steve must have brought closer to the shelf. "Pick whatever you want."

"What?" Y/n shook her head taking a step back, confused as to what he meant.

Steve was the one to speak up this time. "You don't know who we are, I'm guessing." His smile was softer, more gentle. "I was formally known as Captain America." The truth felt like a weight had been lifted off Y/n's shoulders, her happy to know that she wasn't crazy for thinking he looked familiar.

"And I'm his sidekick, Bucky Barnes, formally known as The Winter Soldier." Mr Unnamed added on.

"Oh." Y/n nodded her head, taking in the two men, even more confused as to why they were wasting their time in a local stores Barbie aisle with her. "Sorry for bothering you."

Y/n was ready to dash with her doll, worried that the super soldiers she just met would grow tired of her quiet demeanor. "Doll." Bucky called out, his voice commanding yet it still had a joking tone to it. "Come back here and pick at least four things."

"Buck." Steve whispered loudly.

"Steve." Bucky said back, his tone condescending. "Doll, please let us but you some dolls. It would make our day." She still hadn't turned around and had half a heart to run, yet for some reason she turned around and took a good look at the shelf.

There really were some sets she'd love to have, like the farmers market stand and a little dog set, and Steve was right, her doll needed everyday clothes. "You won't make fun of me?" She asked, worry surrounding each word.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Steve put his hand over his heart, an action that made her giggle.

"I'm Y/n." She finally gave them her name, a small smile breaking past her worried expression.

"It's nice to meet you, Y/n." Bucky and Steve said at the same time, the three of them laughing.

"Which outfit do you think your doll would look best in?" Steve held out a few options, letting Y/n ponder over them as Bucky tried to convince her to pick the Barbie camper as one of her choices, as if she had a spot for such a big play set.

"I like this one." She pointed to a package that help a blue dress, pick shirt, and jean skirt. The shoes were cute too, and she got excited at the idea of dressing her doll in the outfit.

So there they all stood, Steve and Bucky trying to convince Y/n to get super expensive things, and Y/n trying to figure out how she got so lucky to have two super soldiers worrying over her new doll collection.

[kurishiri]

Jude chapter 3 silly but kinda detailed summary

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

kate successfully completes sortin out letters so she heads to the port where jude is talking with the foreman. its there she sort of thinks back on her time at raven co and the long and short of it is that jude, as the ceo, is actually really outstanding, and he acknowledges the efforts of those who work hard, produce results and whatnot, and rewards them in turn.

(that said he could work on his wording ,,)

time skip to night after judes done and they all walkin back tgt where kates like “i think i’ll be able to have a good dinner today” and jude scoffs at her callin her a twit. and shes all defensive like hey whats wrong with wanting to eat good food and judes like when did i say that was wrong?

all of a sudden they stop in their tracks and jude tells kate “on the count o’ three, crouch” and kates all panicked like tf is going on but jude already starts counting down so she crouches anw (in a panic!)

some guy in a suits out to kill jude. god knows who too bc apparently jude don’t know him either 💀

Jude: Who are ya? Can’t say ya look familiar.

[ insert some lines im lazy to tl ]

Jude kicked up at the man’s chin, causing the man’s body to do one smooth flip before collapsing onto the ground.

Man in a suit: Jude… Jazza——!

Jude: N’ like I was sayin’, who the hell are ya?

ok turns out jude does remember him in the end, its just another dude who broke his contract with jude and was selling up some illegal drugs and whatnot.

Jude: I told ya, didn’t I? That if ya breach your contract I’d show ya so much o’ hell you’d wish you kicked the bucket?

J: I fulfilled that promise for ya. Havin’ a grand old time in hell, aren’t’cha?

omg he pried open the wound on the mans face and he let out a cry to the night sky that could shake anyone’s soul silly.

kate then thinks or foreshadows (yk how like ikevil stories r kinda told like kate is recalling the past? like “i didn’t realize it then, but xyz” kinda like one of those moments) that what she witnessed that night was but a prologue of what’s to come bc they get attacked over and over again.

kate and jude get into another argument like “i feel im gonna die every time! im at my limit!” and judes like “well ur in the way loiterin round like that” then jude just yeets off w/o listenin to another word.

she does feel something bothering her tho

(For someone like Jude, he should be able to avoid these grudges…)

When I thought this, I came up with a theory that relieved me of this unsettling feeling.

(…Could it be he’s making himself an enemy of many on purpose?)

‘Yeah, right,’ was what I thought, but also, somewhere in my heart, I felt such a theory may also be true.

shes like there’s not enough info rn but if i do know anything its that

Kate: At this rate, if I stay with Jude any longer…a hundred lives would not be enough!

and so shes like i gotta learn self defense! so she goes knocking on a certain someone’s door like pls teach me le jutsu of self defense!

Ellis: Okay. （╹◡╹）♡

turns out ellis was also thinking of teaching her some stuff abt self defense soon.

so ellis takes kate to the lobby and kates like why the lobby and ellis goes to a bookshelf to take out a book which actually reveals vics weapon collection and takes out a gun, telling kate to try and hold it.

idk if this is a real gun or not (as in it exists irl), apparently its made of silver with a wooden grip.

ellis thinks its well suited for kate. like its lightweight yk. hes like you may need to use it jic. and then hes like

Ellis: But, it’s kind of refreshing.

E: Other than me, Jude seems pretty adverse to putting people by his side.

E: So, maybe he wants to get along with you?

kates like mmm doubt but at the same time she has this question in her mind w/o an answer of why he went and wrote a whole contract and let her stay by his side then? shes abt to cook up a theory in her head when…

just then jude comes in.

Ellis: Ah——Jude.

Jude: We got a job to do.

so they head off to some noble mansion.

Jude: How do ya do, we’ll be here a while.

Nobleman: Ah, Mister Jude?

apparently this nobleman is connected with the guy in the suit jude beat up in the beginning of the chptr. he made him spit out info.

Jude: If ya just were sellin’ somethin’ shady I’d let that off the hook. Illegal drug’s some child’s play.

J: However.

Jude raised one leg and rested it atop the long table.

Jude: I seem to recall the contract prohibitin’ the sellin’ and buyin’ of humans, or am I wrong?

ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍

[fictionfixations]

all the sad tales

penacony + aventurine spoilers

the wiki probably contains this but for my own sake i need to keep this somewhere.

(it'll be in bold. what im not sure on will not be in bold)

(The murmurs near your ears grow louder, more booming. You can even see another ████ ████████. Let's hope you can hold on until the moment you step onto the stage of the amusement park.)

(whited out parts are parts i cant decipher yay)

im going to try my hardest not to miss anything because i really like aventurine and i want to take my time with this. but i also sometimes have a really short attention span or get too immersed in something that i forget everything else so like...

(You ████████ ██ ██ █ ██████ discovered a strange child -- He seems to hail from the Avgin origins(?)... Weren't they already wiped out?)

(need to stop sprinting. i keep noticing breakable objects or chest so then i sprint towards them and im going to end up missing something instead of just heading straight into activating more of the story)

bby kakavasha runs so fast oh my god (its kind of sad to imagine that he can run so fast probably to run away from well yknow...)

(You are completely entranced by the Avgin boy. Just who is(?) he? There's still time. Maybe you can catch up to him and ask him exactly what █████████.) (happened?) (the extra whited out part on just who --- is probably a space. otherwise it could be was but hm.)

(im going to cry if i miss checking it because an enemy is chasing after me and i run headfirst into story. yes i am a coward who doesnt like starting battles if i can help it. makes me wish i had acheron but id honestly never use her in battle unless i had someone to regenerate skill points considering i have 5 star dan heng, so other attack ppl on team dont get much attention, and i dont really know how to use her beside tehcnique insta kill?? does that mean i can whip out a lvl 1 acheron and it works??)

dont plan on talking about the dialogue too much (i saw multiple people go through the story before i started ngl) but (also aventurine boss creeping up on me... i literally only have one person on team who attacks multiple at a time, and no one else outside of the team is as built)

LISTEN. have you SEEn hyenas playfighting its fucking adorable. call someone a hyena, i call it a compliment.

i missed the first piece of text... i forgot...

(*Ride the Pinball Machine)

still the same

i dont know why but the puzzles in penacony make me lag so bad. the puzzles, the pinball machine, or that dreamweaver thing. bruh.

(*Win the Hide and Seek game and find the Avgin boy)

anyway from what im understanding you can tell how many letters are missing because its as many characters as a character is missing. whenever ive blacked out text i never do that cause its so much bigger than the original text (i do one block for every two letters ngl. but i also dont do it with the intention of people deciphering what it says)

(*Play the roll of █████ film) (wound?)

i dont know film terms enough to even decipher what it could be. it could be color. black. white.

wound? wound as in rolling? like uh uh. past tense of wind. like winding up a roll. a wound roll. cause the description of wounds.. it could be related to his family. or..

I MISSED IT AGAIN 'there is only water, not rock' or something like that

(*Leave the maze)

(*Check the things you(?) lost)

i cant decipher this one 😭. you??? (Leave the maze you(?) █o) but i dont know what would make sense of it then. idk.

oh fuck i forgot to check the objective. its. probably the same as the other one for when finding a 'lost' object but like...

AGHHH wiki came in clutch

(*Check the lost things and memories)

(*Escape escape(?) the maze escape(?) the past/last(?) escort(?)) (this is a lot of 'idk')

(Failure discarded selfish useless pointless coward murderer gambler blessed discarded loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's beloved crazy murderer blessed failure discarded loser pointless coward murderer chosen-one selfish fool(?) blessed discarded loser chosen-one you(?) loser discarded pointless coward(?) murderer gambler blessed █isc█████ useless loser chosen-one Mother Goddess's blessed/beloved(?) loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser ████ ████ ███████████ ███ ██████ █████ █ ██ ████ █)

there might be way more losers then there should be because my eyes were getting confused. and also more of the blacked out character

this line right here makes me wonder why he's still in the IPC after like the end of 2.2 (..im pretty sure 2.3 is the next update)

my brain power is failing on me idk what this one is

im going to turn my settings to max for the picture because its so fucking pixel-y. im going to try to save it before my pc crashes.

my one complaint: the taking a picture function that continues the story disappears when you get close to kakavasha. so i cant take a photo with him and continue the story.,

whatever.where the fuck is the screenshot folder im crying

oh my god the LAUNCHER? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNow after i go through the star rail folder > games folder > starrail_data folder > screenshots

thats way too many folders for me to even notice 😭

second image cuz yes

I RAN PAST THE TEXT AGAIN

'there'll be one beside you' or something im sorry my memory is shit short term i already forgot

I MISSED MORE OF THE FLOATING TEXT 😭😭

'over plains, endless'

'into cracked earth, stumbling'

im stressed so im getting distracted

ARE YOU READY KIDS? I CANT HEAR YOUUU. WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA

"So run, Kakavasha, do not be afraid, and do not look back."

now go back and reread the previous quest thing.

okay thats it i think

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 3

♡ Summary: Carmy actually has allowed himself FRIENDS?? Also- he gets to have like.. a normal day with Syd somewhat, outside of work, hanging out with people who aren't in any way involved w/ the restaurant.

♡ W/C: 6,919

♡ Posted Date: 04/08/2024

♡ A/N: Hayo ;D Here is C3 of Blue Lotus!!! I am v much like Carmy & got a alot of amusement AND enjoyment writing this chapter, so that makes my brain tell me I took it too OOC & I haaate writing these 2 OOC. So if its OOC I'm sorry, but at least it's funny LOL. The story Shayna tells is lightly based on Euphoria But the college version - so if you've seen it that's why it feels a little familiar - if you haven't seen it its a same vibe except high school so the father is much, much more disgusting. But I looove writing Shayna so much, I have friends like her & they are always the personalities to make you laugh until youre sore the next day - & Syd & Carmy deserves a friend like that so I gave them one! Without further ado, I hope you enjoy <3 As per usual this fic is inspired by Tucson that can be read here It was written by my lovely friend @gingergofastboatsmojito please be sure to read that one before you read Blue Lotus, also do give Ginger a follow!!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Talks of ; a near physical assault, blood, sex, transphobia/outing, self inflicted wounds, actually contains; smoking cigarettes/weed, drinking alcohol, vomiting, swearing

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

“Hey! Im Sydney- sure! We were uh…we were gonna cook- do you wanna join? I just got back from the store” she got up, shaking her hand. 

“Totally -  my god this necklace! Where did you get it?” Shayna asked, leaning in and looking at the pendant “and you smell so good, lavender?” She said. 

“I thrifted it! I love thrifting. Carm does too- does it so much he has to keep extra jeans in his oven.. oh! And yeah this perfume it’s inside. I’ll show it to you” Syd replied happily. 

“Your oven?” Jesse asked Carm 

“Yeah uh.. not enough space- um Syd these are my…” he trails off 

“Friends. Were his friends- therapy friends I guess. I mean I hope he holds his word and texts me when we get out of here” Shayna nudged Carm’s shoulder gently. 

He cleared his throat “yeah- uh-my friends. Shayna and Jesse.” He said shyly. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you guys, have you ever had deer? They sell it at the grocery store here, harder to get in Chicago. I figured we’d try this recipe I thought up a while ago” she opened the door to the cabin and Jesse and Shana went inside making themselves at home right away. 

This wasn’t the first time they’d hung out, they would do this a few times a week before dinner and then sit and eat together before going back to their respective cabins for the night. 

“Never had deer before - aren’t you guys like super chefs or-“ Jesse is interrupted by Shayna’s whining 

“Carmen you still haven’t asked for a wifi box?!” She asked annoyed, putting her phone back in the pocket of her cargo jeans.  

“No I haven’t because I don’t need one I’m not addicted to Instagram or whatever the fuck” Carmy said, taking the door for Syd and she headed in, him following suit. 

“Oh yeah I forgot Carmy the little old man who likes to hide away from the online world- you look like you take fire Instagram pictures, how do you deal with that loser all the time?” She asked Syd jokingly, leaning against the counter and watching as she pulled various ingredients from the fridge. 

Syd laughed a bit, a big smile on her face as she moved around looking through various cabinets. “I do…um- Chef-“ she said and he sat up from where he was leaning against the kitchen doorframe 

“Where do you need me?” He asked her 

“Onions medium dice if you can manage the knives here suck” she took out one of the small knives they kept for him in the drawer and set it on the cutting board as she began to pick the rosemary, putting the sprigs in a bowl. 

“What the fuck is that” Shayna picked up a mortar with a deep black goop at the bottom. 

“Juniper berries…found a juniper tree when I was hanging outside. Made sure it’s the right kind so don’t be worried” Syd said and Carmen couldn’t help the small smile that curled his lips. 

“You found a juniper, and you just.. remembered this recipe?” Carmen asked, chopping the onions as skillfully as if he hadn’t been out of the kitchen a single day. 

“Thats hot” Shayna says “you’re hot as hell bitch! Oh my god! You just saw a tree and were like ‘let me make up this super cute berry deer coquette dish’ ” she said, causing Syd, her, and Jesse to crack up, but Carmen was lost. 

“The fuck is a coquette?” He asked, causing Syd to laugh harder when Shayna said between giggles 

“I told you! He’s so old!!!” She squeaked, leaning against the counter and wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. 

“Coquette is like… Marina and the Diamonds on Vinyl, pink bow, fairy princess, Sydney in the woods picking juniper berries aesthetic it’s like..a vibe.” Shayna explained.

“Oh my god- it’s a girl thing carm it’s like. I dunno- like pink frilly shit and like- Lacy shit?” Jesse tried to explain. 

Carm raised his brows, scraping the now cut onions into a bowl. “So Syd picking berries what does that have to do with- what did you say- pink bows?” Carm questioned and Shayna rolls her eyes. 

“It’s the vibe Carmen, the vibe. Ugh you are no fun I can already tell Sydney is the fun one. What music do you listen to?” Shayna sat up next to Syd on the counter as she dusted the board with flour and started to cut the meat into chunks. 

“I listen to…well- a lot. My mom loved R&B so I still listen to that but mostly 90s stuff that makes me think of her, I love SZA, HER, Jhené Aiko, oh Kali Uchis! Khelani of course… frank ocean is so fire I really like his stuff too..yeah just a lot of stuff.” She explained. 

Carm sat there digesting every word she said, it wasn’t unusual for him to do that. He tried tucking the unfamiliar names in the back of his mind so he could look them up or ask Shayna what she knew about them later. 

“Oh my god- we have to chill sometime!! Do you smoke?” Shay asked hopefully and Syd looked at Carm for a moment before her eyes flickered back to Shayna. 

“I do. But…not when I’m working. Because it fucks up my taste and smell..but I am on vacation so…” she said with a small shrug and a smile. 

“Dude! Oh my god Jesse cmon I need to go back to my cabin” she got down off the counter “I’ll be right back” she said and they headed out being sure to close the door behind them. 

“They’re fucking?” Syd asked and Carmen laughed a bit 

“No- no. Where’d you get that?” He asked, beginning to peel the carrots over the garbage can. 

“Why did he go with her? Aren’t the cabins all right here?” She asked. 

Carmen looked up at her for a moment “oh- yeah. They are. Shay has somethin about being alone. Somethin about her childhood- she came here because she said it’s like…the good version of where her dad sent her. Whatever that means. But she can’t be out and about alone it freaks her out. I guess she went to some… wilderness camp? She went on about it in one of our sessions. They were…they were fucked up.” He said, putting the now peeled carrot down on the cutting board and starting on the next. 

“Shit.” She said, putting the cast iron on the burner, starting the flame with the lighter that she’d found on the counter. “Like…so they left her in the middle of nowhere or something?” She asked and Carmy shrugged. 

“Kinda like that. She said that they like…would hike all day. And then at night they’d have to pitch their own tents. They took their shoes at night so they wouldn’t try and run. They’d like- send pictures back to their family- and if they didn’t smile they’d get in trouble. Pretty fuckin…sadistic shit t’do to a kid. Dunno how her dad thought it would change her ways - she said she went because their views on religion didn’t align…” he explained 

“Wow…” she said, after a long beat of silence “she’s like..I wouldn’t have expected her to be so friendly after that. I wouldn’t be” she said, salting down the meat. 

“Yeah Shayna is…a character. For sure. But she’s really sweet, and has a huge heart even though she loves to bitch people out. She’d cut someone if they tried to fuck with me, though. One of the newcomers showed me that” he chuckled, shaking his head a bit. 

“What happened?” She asked

“So we were at lunch, and before that day we just..sat at the same table but didn’t really talk. She talked, but I would mostly listen. And um, this new dude. Justin? I think? Total fuckhead. Guys a tank too, like fuckin’ 6’2? No joke. But uh he was like basically screaming at his table, talkin’ so fuckin’ loud, so I looked over- and he met my eyes and just went off hes like ‘you got a problem little man? What the fuck is up with you, you got a staring problem?’ And Shayna- you should have seen her!” He laughs at the memory. 

“What’d she do?” Syd asks curiously. 

“Oh, she picked up her mashed potatoes- like - a fist full of mashed potatoes Syd- bare handed- and screeeamed at him ‘YOU WANNA FUCK WITH HIM COCKSUCKER?! WHY DON’T YOU COME FUCK WITH A BITCH THAT CAN ACTUALLY LOOK YOU IN THE EYE, SCAREDY MOTHERFUCKER!’  then whipped it at the dude. It hit him right in the face- eeeeveryone was dying we were all cracking the fuck up. I haven't seen him again after that, thankfully, but then she just looked at me and asked me for my plastic knife so she could get the potatoes from under those huge nails she wears and went to wash her hands like nothing happened.” He explained. 

Syd laughs and Carm follows suit. “Wow. Well I guess I shouldn’t worry about you after all- you found a temporary big sister, you should keep her around. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who would pelt another in the face with mashed potatoes for me” she snorts a laugh, setting the meat in the pan. 

“I would. Without a shadow of a doubt, when Marcus was yelling at you I wanted to fuckin knock him out with a pan-“ he stopped himself and she looked over at him, the only sound now filling the room being the sizzling of venison on cast iron and the tick of the wall clock. 

She blinked a few times, unsure what to say before the memory of the drawing came back to her. 

Just say it now. Why else would he want to hit one of his employees with a pan if not for feelings he hasn’t made me aware of?

She’d thought to herself. 

But Carmen on the other hand was thanking god that Shayna and Jesse came back, boisterous as ever- 

“Pookiesss We come bearing gifts” Shayna drops a bag on the table, as well as a pink speaker that was playing some Spanish music Carmen hadn’t ever heard before. 

“You listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd asks as she turns around. 

“YOU Listen to bad bunny?” Jesse asks and Syd smiles big 

“Who doesn’t listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd laughed “he’s like- literally I think the most listened to Spotify artist or something? Top 3?!” 

“Who is bad bunny?” Carmen asks as he cut the carrots into matchsticks. 

“You need to train your dogs better, Sydney” Shayna teased, taking shooters of grey goose out of her tote bag and putting them in the freezer. 

Syd laughs so hard she snorts, covering up her mouth with her hand and shaking her head. “You are fucking insane” she said 

Carmen smiled big, looking over at Syd. “Chef, did you just snort?” He teased smugly and set his knife down, leaning against the counter next to her, smirking. 

“I did- because your friend thinks you’re my bitch” she teased, turning back to the meat and flipping each cube carefully with the metal tongs that were next to her on the counter. 

Carmen’s mouth drops and his cheeks go scarlett, Shayna snorts a laugh, sitting at the table casually, legs crossed as she picked the stems and seeds off buds of weed, while Jesse howls with laughter. “Fuuuck-“ he shakes his head with amusement “wow. I uh…” he snorts a laugh “I get you Carmen. Get you better now” he said. 

“Okay- fuck you shayna” Carmen shook his head, unable to contain his smile. He’d never heard Syd laugh so hard before and witnessing it made him feel on fire. 

“Sorry I can tell who wears the pants it’s a natural talent of mine” she shrugged, “Jess come do this” she slid the little container of picked apart buds over to the spot next to her and he sits next to her at the table. 

“So you guys aren’t..like you’ve not known eachother before this?” Syd asks them. 

“Oh! No we did actually. Jess and I met at this program when we were 14, restart. It was a pure chance though that we come here at the same time.” She said and got up, washing her hands in the kitchen sink of the sticky resin. 

“That’s so cool - where are you from?” Syd asked her as she takes the bowl of onions from next to Carm at the island, their hands brushing for a moment which caused Carmen to nearly cut himself because his focus was completely lost at her touch. 

“Were from LA. Aren’t you from Chicago? Why are you here? I mean- like it’s great you’re great I’m glad to have a sane member of society around, it’s refreshing when you’re only around only psychos, you know? But uh..” she laughed a bit when Syd got started “you must be…pretty close friends” she looked at Carm for a moment before looking back at her. 

Carmen suddenly felt something akin to anger sitting low in his chest. And it had to do with Shayna. He likes Shayna, so he wasn’t sure what was going on. But, Jesse saw the switch in Carmen- and read it right away as jealousy. 

“Uh…” Syd clears her throat nervously, suddenly not knowing what to say. 

“Like what is it? Jess? We went to restart in Wisconsin so Chicago? How far is that?” She asks. 

Jesse gave her the cut it out eyes, but Shayna hadn’t been able to play matchmaker in weeks, she was gonna push these two together the same way she made her Barbie’s kiss when she was a kid. 

“I’ll guess like - 1800 miles. Soooo- oh! And don’t you have that restaurant?” She asked and Syd nods. 

“Mmhmm we run it together. It’s fine though it’s being held down, I finally got my new Sous trained and his sister is working a lot lately she wants to get everything all together before she has her baby so…” she rambled on, trying to pull out any reason that made it sound like she was unneeded there - even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“Right. I’m gonna go smoke would you like to come? I’m sure your…” she looks back at Carmen for a moment before looking back at Sydney “partner can hold this down until we get back?” She asked and looked at Carmen again, raising her brows. 

“Yeah- yeah Syd go. Go ahead go relax - got this chef.” He nods and went over to the stove, squeezing past her in the tight space, his hand brushing her waist momentarily as he did so. 

“Okay- okay sure” Syd nodded, following Shayna outside. She walked quietly for a few moments, lighting the joint and taking a drag before handing it over to Syd. 

They were about 30 feet from the house, Syd was taking a deep drag of the joint - savoring the taste since she couldn’t do it often, when Shayna said 

“You need to fuck eachothers brains out so he can go the fuck home. That- or tell him it’ll never happen so he can stay here for however long it takes him to break down and move on” 

Sydney choked on the smoke in her throat, quickly handing the burning joint back to Shayna and coughing into her arm. 

Shayna laughs before taking another drag, patting Sydney’s back sympathetically. “Sorry- people have told me I’m too blunt but I’d rather hear the truth so I give it to people straight” she said simply. 

“Dude! What if he heard you! Shhh!” Sydney said once she caught her breath. 

“Oh please! No! He didn’t! And if he did- he’d be leaned halfway out the door trying to hear the answer because he’s dying to know! You know he has the hots for you- please- don’t play stupid, girl” She rolled her eyes, handing the joint back over. 

“What - no- he’s- we’re business partners” Syd replied, shaking her head and taking a short drag. “He doesn’t. He’s just sick and clinging to me he’s - he’s depressed and I’m violating HIPAA or whatever by saying that but it’s honest! I’m not his type” She passed it back over to Shayna. 

She took it, laughing at her HIPAA comment “Chefs aren’t bound to HIPAA regulations, but nonetheless- I’ll be honest for you, since you can’t be honest with yourself. You flew here because you want to fuck him. There’s no other explanation- no not even just fuck- you love the guy. Why else would you fly across the country to be with him? Especially when he’s due home in 11 days. No dick is that great, especially attached to a guy on that many psych meds.” She said and took a long drag. 

Sydney’s heart began racing 100 miles an hour. She stopped walking, leaning against the fence, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She imagined this is how Carmy felt when Stardust threw him off. 

“Are you- what in the Hozier Adele ass fuck. You didn’t know? Or - realize- the L word? That you love him?” Shayna said, taking another drag of the joint. 

Sydney stared at the forest ahead, resting her hand on her forehead, shaking her head. “Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.” She swallowed hard. “Um-uh I- I feel sick? I feel- I’m gonna throw up.” Syd said, standing up and quickly walking over to the large oak tree at the end of the rows of cabins, hurling up the remainders of her lunch which was just a McDonald’s burger she’d gotten on her way back from the grocery store. 

“Jesus Christ. It’s you too? What are you waiting for?” Shay followed after her, rubbing her back gently  

“What do you mean-“ She’s interrupted by a gag she couldn’t hold back. “Fuck. What do you mean what’s me too?” She asked, coughing and spitting the bile taste in her mouth on the ground before leaning against the tree to catch her breath. 

“Like- you and him both don’t even realize you’re in love. It’s weird as fuck. It’s usually one person chasing - but you guys are secretly chasing eachother? But also at the same time trying I dunno. One of you has to make a move though” she said, leaning on the tree next to Syd. 

“What if he’s just sick? What if he’s clinging to me because he’s sick and…and I’m like manipulating him” she asked nervously 

“Ahh yes because you are manipulating a grown man into not breathing when he sees you? You can do that? Can you teach me? Except I’ll use it to kill creeps” she nudged Syds shoulder, finally earning a smile back out of her. 

“He doesn’t do that…” she looked at the ground sheepishly

“When we get back, I’m gonna count out loud because the oblivious fuck hears no one when you’re around, and watch he won’t be breathing. I swear it’s like the first thing I noticed looks like a fuckin fish out of water.” She said and finished the joint, stomping it out with her shoe. “Shall we put my experiment to the test?” She asks and Syd rolls her eyes. 

“I wanna see what’s going on with the food let’s go” she smiled a bit, heading back with Shayna to the cabin.  

It only took them 4 minutes back, Shayna walks in first and Carm’s head pops up from his conversation with Jesse at the counter, and as soon as Syd pops in behind her- Shayna quietly starts whispering “one…two…three…four..-OW!” She squeaks as Syd kicks her ankle just enough to hurt. 

That was enough to break Carm out of his trance “hey- hey- how was your walk, y’okay? You look…I dunno” he came up to her, feeling Syds cheek with the back of his hand “y’flushed…” he said and she pulled away from his touch, feeling embarrassed. 

“I’m fine” she said, walking back to the stove and making sure the meat was okay. “What did you do with the beef stock?” She asked, looking over the counter. 

Carmy swallowed thickly “uh- sorry, sorry. Here” he went to where he put it in the cabinet and handed it to her. “We…we good?” he asked quietly. 

“We’re good. Get the juniper berries please.” She said without meeting his gaze and opened the stock, pouring some in the pan. 

Shayna giggles and Carm looks back at where she and Jesse were sat at the table, Jesse making a circle with his thumb and forefinger and thrusting his other finger in and out of it, alluding to their sexual tension lacing the room. 

“Oh you are children.” Carmen grumbles, grabbing a beer from the fridge and rolling his eyes “want one- dipshit? Cabin check is tomorrow they all need to be gone” he said and Jesse nodded with a smug smile. 

“You love your crazy camp besties pookie!!! Don’t play games cause your cool chef friend is around” Shayna said, getting up and going to the freezer, taking out 2 shots. 

“Syd?” She asked and Sydney turns around, looking at the shots in her hand. 

“Uh- why not. Sure. Just one” she said, taking one of them and cracking it open. 

“Cheers” Shayna says, clinking her shooter with Syds 

“To?” Syd asked. 

“New beginnings” Shayna said simply before tilting her head back and swallowing the shot in one gulp.

“That was the best fucking food I’ve ever eaten. Have you guys ever been told you should open a restaurant?” Jesse teased, helping Carmen clear the empty dishes from table. 

“Wow you really should pursue stand up, Jess” Carmy said with a small smile, collecting the 4 disposable cups they used for wine and throwing them away. 

“You know who would fuckin love her Carm?” Syd motions to Shayna 

“Who?” He mused, rolling up his sleeves and starting the hot water on the sink. 

“Richie. They’d be menaces together but they’d be best friends!” Syd laughs a bit and Carmen gasps 

“Richie!!! Yes! They would- but- Oh my god how is he? I literally- fuck. I’m so shitty I haven’t even really…like been thinkin about everyone back home other then like you and I- I guess sugar” Carmen said. 

Jesse and Shayna gave eachother a ‘we’ll discuss this romcom fuckshow later’ look, before giggling amongst themselves. 

“He’s- he’s Richie. He’s never gonna let me stabbing him go. Every time I tell him to do something he’s like ‘right away chef wouldn’t wanna get stabbed’ - he’s scaring the new hires, carm!” She giggled in the way that made his heart flutter like butterflies were smacking it with their wings. “And he keeps calling me cousin by mistake!! It’s getting ..really weird” she shook her head, sitting down at the table. 

“You stabbed a motherfucker?” Shayna asked impressed. 

Carmen laughed a bit “on accident” he told her 

“Doesn’t mean it didn’t feel good he was grating my last nerve that day. But I mean…he’s okay so I’m not that bad for thinking it” she smiled and Carmen laughed, scrubbing the plates with the sponge. 

“I would have stabbed this motherfucker but I just did one better and made everyone afraid to fuck with me. Everyone thinks this was a result of my attempt but it’s not.” Shayna showed off a long scar on her forearm, partially covered by a large dragon tattoo. 

“You did that to yourself?” Syd asked, slightly impressed but mostly a little scared, her finger gently rubbing up the raised scar. 

“Mmhmm. In college. I went to this party, this guy-“ she shook her head with a small, mischievous smile. “So he comes in the kitchen, he’s acting like a fucking bull so of course I’m staring at the weirdo, right? He looks at me- and he goes what the fuck are you looking at, bitch. And I was new, so I didn’t know it was his house. So I was like I’m looking at some meathead loosing his temper like a toddler, what the fuck are you looking at. And he just asks me who I am- and…” she sits back “I didn’t know anyone? Like…I went there to meet people. So I was like oh I’m Shayna and he just starts screaming ‘who the fuck is Shayna, does anyone at this party know a fucking Shayna?’ And he was like in my face. So I told him I was like I’m not trying to start anything here I’m minding my business back up and he goes ‘no one that looks like you is minding their own business’ and then he- he told me he knew what I was.” She said and shrugged.

 “ And that I just wanted attention. And that he would give me the attention I was looking for. And then? He told everyone in the kitchen that someone better speak for me or he was gonna fuck me up.- so, I grabbed a knife from the counter, and he backed up like a pussy and was like ‘I’m kidding! I’m kidding it’s a joke I’m fucking with you!’ And I asked him if he wanted to hurt me, and he kept saying no - even though I knew he was getting ready to kick the shit out of me, probably worse. So I slit my arm, and bled on him. Then I left. And no one ever tried to out me there again.” She said and sipped her beer. 

“You’re gay?” Sydney asked curiously. 

“Yeah but that’s- Jesus Christ these Chicagoans” she said, and her and Jesse started laughing. 

“What? What’s funny?” Syd sat up. 

“she’s-“ Carmen starts

“AHT!” Shayna tisks “no, Carmen, we got to make fun of you for a month now we get to make fun of her until she figures it out. I think you’re smarter though, socially speaking” She said and Carmen gives her the finger, causing her to laugh. 

“Oh- ohhhh! Wow! I wonder how he thought he could tell” Syd said and Carmen looks back at her. 

“Really?! How did you figure it out so fast?!” He asked her 

Syd laughs “oh because it’s the 2020’s and if someone says they were outed and it’s not about being gay, there’s only one other thing to out” she said and Carm huffs, annoyed with his own pitfalls of refusing to make friends his first 30 years. 

“Yeah how would he know? I didn’t know” Carm asked her and she smiled big, looking at Jesse. 

“It was fucked. Up. What you did. But if you wanna tell them? Gooo ahead.” He said with a smile, drying the dishes as Carm washed and rinsed them. 

Shayna laughs excitedly, sitting up and pushing her long blonde hair back. “Okay, so. I end up finding out who this guy is, right? And apparently…his dad who was the football coach was like- DL- into trans girls- “ Carm interrupts 

“What does that mean?” He asked her 

“DL? Down low, like- they fuck us in private” she explained and Carmen scrunched his brows in confusion 

“Why?” He asked and Shayna looked at him confused. 

“Because…they think it’s gay?” She said like it was obvious, but to Carmen, it wasn’t. 

“But… Y’re a girl. So how would it be gay?” He asked 

“I’ll give you a ‘how humans interact with eachother’ lesson later, Carmen, for now it’s story time” she teased.

 “Anyway-“ she continued “so I find this out, because I look up his name on Facebook - see his dad tagged, and I fly to Grindr- because I swore I literally saw him there. Turns out I had. So I send him a chat, we hit it off, I go fuck him-“ she said, Syd starts laughing, Carm turns around with wide jaw eyes and a dropped jaw. 

“Like- oh I fuuuuucked that man. Multiple times. He didn’t fuck me- let me say that again for your cis ears to have it sink in, I fucked- this man’s father” she said - Carmen’s jaw drops further, and Jesse was howling with laughter at Syd and Carmys shocked expressions. 

“No- no- Shayna- hold on I need a cigarette - Jesse take this shit over” Carmen pulls open the front door, pushing up the glass on the screen door, grabbed his beer and cigarettes from the counter, and sat next to Syd at the table. “Okay keep goin- I’ve never heard this much-“ he shook his head in amusement 

“Tea? I know- it gets better!” Shayna laughs. 

Carmen smirked, shaking his head and taking out a cigarette lighting it between his lips and taking a drag. “So you fucked this man’s dad.” Carmen couldn’t help but laugh at how insane the words sounded coming from his mouth- and Sydney followed suit, head falling back and eyes squeezing shut, Carmen’s heart quickened at the adorable sight, having the urge to reach out and grab her soft, delicate hand that was just a few inches from his own on the tabletop. 

“Oh my god- were taking them with us back to chicago- I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this” Syd said, stealing his beer from next to him and taking a sip. 

The action made Carmen’s heart skip a beat. The fact that she was comfortable drinking out of something his lips had already touched, it drove him wild. They had tried food off of the same spoon at work just so they didn’t have to go through the hassle of washing two, but this felt…different. More intimate. 

“Did you- I’m sorry- did you want one?” He asked “I didn’t think you liked beer - I thought you said you like wine more” he said and she shook her head. 

“We can share…right?” She asked, a bit shyly. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, maybe it was because her white claw had been long forgotten and now was luke warm on the kitchen counter, or maybe it was the few extra shots she’d been convinced into taking earlier that was causing her to take the chat with Shayna to heart. 

“Yeah- course, always.” He nodded a bit. Unnoticed by Syd and Carmy, Jesse and Shayna give eachother another ‘we’re gonna talk about this romcom shit later’ look before Shayna clears her throat. 

“So- yes Carmen, I fucked this man’s father. And multiple times. He was married- I didn’t fully know that though before you both look at me shitty- he didn’t say that -“ Jesse cuts her off 

“Ohhhh- oh! No!!” He laughs “no- the real story- is that she saw a ring but didn’t ask about it - you may now continue” he said, turning back to the sink and rinsing the last of the dishes. 

Carm snorts a laugh “evil. That is evil the man’s marriage! Shayna!” He took a drag of his cigarette and she rolled her eyes. 

“It was already on the rocks- let me finish! You fucks! So then- I recorded it, and I held onto it- just in case. But. Get this- one of my girlfriends on campus? Guess who she ran into on Grindr?” She asks and Carm and Syd both lean in slightly, and Shayna can’t help but notice the way they were already so in sync. 

“The fucking guy from the party” she said and Syd gasps, Carmen cracks up. 

“He’s his fathers spitting image. Thats it. That’s why- that’s why he said that to you. He knows about you or whatever? Because he loves girls like you and is also a pussy.” Syd said and Carm hums in agreement. 

“Exactly! Exactly. So…I had her tell him to meet her in the park- but…” she smirks and Sydney covers her mouth preemptively, knowing whatever was going to say next was going to be off the wall. 

“I was there too- fucking his dad! And oops! he saw us! And I asked him if we should check and see who’s bigger- he dropped out of school the same week- and the dad resigned” she said and took another casual sip of her beer with a proud smirk.

Carmen sits there, dumbfounded, looking to Sydney who when she saw the look on his face cracked up. “Your face-“ she said, causing him to start laughing as well. 

“Shay-“ he looks at her, wiping tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. “Shayna what the fuck” he managed to get out before laughing again, shaking his head. “You are a person that I won’t ever, ever get on your shit list if I can help it” he said, looking over quickly when Syd coughs from laughing so hard 

“Woah- arms up, arms up” he tells her and goes to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and coming back quickly, opening the cap and handing it to her. She took a large sip. 

“Thank you- sorry- fuck you Shayna you’re gonna kill us both I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh this hard” she said and Shayna smiled 

“Well, that’s a good thing. this guys got a problem with having the dead inside look- at least before you got here” she nudged Carm with her elbow. 

He realized he was still stood, hand protectively on the back of Syds chair looking down at her as if she was the only one in the room. 

“Isn’t that why we’re all here?” Jesse countered, sitting in the empty chair next to Shayna 

“I’m very alive inside- I just get too manic and start destroying my life because it’s something to do” she said and finished off her beer. “I’m already on probation cmon I need to go to my cabin and you aren’t allowed to have fun without me” she told Jesse, standing up and grabbing her bag and speaker. “Nice to meet you, Sydney. And Remember our chat hot stuff” she said as she put her bag on her shoulder. 

“Yeah- we’ll probably run into each other again, I leave Sunday night.” She said, and Carmen’s heart soars. 

He wasn’t sure why, he just thought maybe she’d just fly in for one night to see how he was and then leave the next day, but the fact she was staying a whole other day and a half- and they would be alone. 

“Sick! Okay well we’ll link up tomorrow then, have a goodnight guys - and remember wrap it before you tap it, shortstack!” Shayna said as her and Jesse shut the door behind them and head off. 

Carmen blushed pink, shaking his head. “She’s a hack, but she’s a very nice hack” Carm said, rubbing over his face embarrassedly. 

“They’re super cool Carm. She’s..really fuckin out there but-“ she shrugged looking at the clock. “Oh- shit. Fuck- it is late, I don’t want you to get in trouble” she said, standing up and grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. 

“You- you aren’t um…staying?” He asked and got up, grabbing her backpack she’d brought with her from the kitchen table and bringing it over. 

“Oh well all of my- stuff..” she trailed off, eyes locked on his. They stayed there silent for a moment, and his heart started pounding in his chest so hard he could feel it in his stomach. 

“Uh-“ he started and nervously bit the inside of his lip, he’d been doing that a lot tonight. He was holding his tongue, he always did around her. He didn’t understand it, because unless she was around it was like a part of his brain switched off, and he didn’t have access to speech in the same capacity as when she was near. 

“I- so…I think um- I-“ he stops himself, grabbing his shoulder nervously and averting her gaze. His throat suddenly felt tight, this was it. He either said something, or he let her leave and he stayed up all night thinking about what he should have said when she leaves. 

“Did you draw me?” Sydney asks suddenly. 

Carmen feels his stomach doing flips, his palms got sweaty and all of the color drained from his face. “I-“ he crossed his arm over his chest, tightly gripping his hoodie. He suddenly felt as if he could be sick, “I’m sorry?” It came out sounding like a question. 

Sydney felt insane “you- when-“ she smiled nervously “oh god- Jesus- I- it must be the-“

Carmen cut her off before she could say what would shut his entire course of action that he was trying to lay out down fully before he could attempt to put it into motion. “I meant- I meant I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. Syd. That’s how I meant it. I - you remind me of home.” He said, not breaking her gaze. “And I need a little bit of that, here.” He said softly. 

Syd just nods, holding on to the chair for stability. She wasn’t sure if this conversation was really happening or if she was in some insane dream. She could hardly believe Carmen was expressing himself to her, in a way other then anger or fear. 

“I..I draw you a lot.” He admits, running a nervous hand through his hair. “We do uh- art..art therapy. A few hours every day” 

“Can I…see them? If…if that’s okay?” She questioned. 

The color came back to Carmen’s face full force, he had to be sure whichever sketchbooks he would show her had none of the explicit themed drawings. “Uh- sure. Sure…gimme a sec- I’ll um” he headed to the bedroom, opening the desk drawer and grabbing the bigger sketchbook he usually took to art therapy, the safest one since the therapist would come and look at whatever the patients were working on.  

He quickly flicked through it to make sure, before heading back out to the living room where Syd had sat on the couch when he went to retrieve the sketchbook. “I’m- sorry…sorry if this is like. Weird-“ he said, feeling suddenly Insecure about his hobby that was the reprieve that got him through any of the sleepless nights he had here. 

“No- no its..it’s sweet Carm, can I?” She asked, grabbing the sketchbook in his lap, their hands brushing lightly. He felt that familiar fire in his chest, and nods with a hum of agreement. 

She opened it, eyebrows raising in surprise “they aren’t like-“ he started 

“This is incredible-“ she cut him off and leaned over him, turning on the lamp at his side to get a better look at the portrait he had committed to memory of her smiling. He nearly shivered when her curls brushed his cheek, the smell of the perfume on her neck mixed with the familiar scent of her causing goosebumps to appear over his flesh. 

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you remember the gap in my teeth so well. Because I know for a fact you aren’t on Instagram” she said. He smiled, rolling his eyes slightly 

“It’s one of your nicest qualities” he shrugged a bit. 

“Oh one of them? Are there many?” She smiled, flipping the page.

“I think the question should be if you have any flaws” he said, and her eyes flicked back to his. 

They were now sitting so close that their faces were less then a foot apart. “I think we both know that’s bullshit.” She said 

“To you maybe” his eyes flickered to her lips momentarily. 

“I always catch you doing that” she teased, smiling a bit. 

“Doing what?” He asked, his eyes meeting hers again. 

“I dunno…staring at me..like..” she looks at his lips for a long moment before meeting his gaze once again. 

“Why do you think?” He asked quietly. 

“There are alot of things I can’t seem to figure out about you…Carmy” she said just above a whisper. 

“Well what do you want to know. I’m uh…trying to be more open.” He said equally as soft. 

“Do you know why I really came here?” She asked 

“Because you saw the fuckin drawing, somehow.” He smiled a bit. 

“Yes” she chuckled “but- it just..it kinda confirmed something for me I dunno- I just wanted to come check if maybe-“ 

She’s interrupted by his lips on hers, she was surprised at first, but of course didn’t pull away. He cupped her cheek gently, his thumb rubbing over her supple skin. 

The way their lips moved together was natural, like they’d done this already a thousand times in a hundred lives. His nose gently nudges hers and she wraps her fingers in his dirty blonde curls, tugging gently how she’d fantasized so many times. 

He slid his tongue over her plump bottom lip, humming softly when she opened her mouth at the contact. His hands were nearly shaking. His entire body felt like it was exploding with tiny fireworks underneath his skin. 

The air between them both felt as if it was crackling with electricity. As if the universe was humming in approval that they had finally accepted their bond. 

Sydney had never felt anything so right. She felt as if every stress in her life evaporated, as if her and Carmy were the only 2 people in the world. She felt like she was glowing from the inside out.  “T’make sure I wanted t’do that…right?” He said softly when she pulled away. 

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

[drowningindango]

you might have made a post about it before but im dumb and dont know how to look ykyk- UHH- do you have any madaobi fic recs? your honor i looooove themm

especially darkfic, anything focusing on madaras manipulation and psychological torture of obito or just the more messed up side of it. i love when theyre complicated and messy and madara is madara and obito has that little cute bit of stockholm syndrome that makes his adult self so adorable

Well, anon, I can definitely try :) and, no, I haven't made a rec post before as far as I remember

I know you said darkfic, but since you didn’t specify whether you’re comfortable with nsfw (sex) or triggering topics, I’ll add some warnings for the individual fics anyway. 🤔 (Please also check the tags of the fic before reading)

I’m also tailoring this list to your interests mostly.

(So if anyone else wants to ask for madaobi recs that go into a different direction, like wholesome fluff, horror, any other genre, hit me up xD my personal taste goes more into the direction of them being like yin and yang, push and pull, give and take, where the power dynamic can be flipped in the blink of an eye)

oh, uh, and if you click on the fic titles it'll link you directly to the fic

Rec list:

Between Black (narzissus)

Nsfw, sexual content, canon compliant. Can definitely recommend this one for you. :)

find your way by moonlight (blackkat)

A fic that really got a nicely written messed up dynamic between them. Multiple warnings here: Obligatory nsfw and dub con/non con warning. madaobi is not the main ship of the fic and is not the endgame!!! And as far as I remember, it gets cut off very early in the story. The reason I still recommend the story is because it got exactly that complicated stockholm syndrome and manipulation going on that you want, and the story dives right into that with the first chapter. (And it’s deliciously good). …I admit that I’ve literally only read the madaobi parts xD

Sealed off (Glove)

A short fic by my good friend Glove (who has written a lot of madaobi fics and I can warmly rec them all, but I picked a few that fit your taste specifically). 💕 Sfw, gore. Features the seal on Obito's heart.

Eye to eye (Glove)

No sexual content, but non con intimacy. Very manipulative. Another short fic.

Promise of spring (Glove)

Warning: mentions of mpreg and forced pregnancy. No sexual content. Definitely contains psychological torture for Obito xD

Longing (Nalyra)

This one has other ships besides MadaObi (mind the tags), if you dislike that, skip this one. but 👀 it sure got aaaaall the manipulation, messy relationships etc. aspects for madaobi. And it does it well. Warnings: nsfw. It's smut. Lots of it. xD

Your Warmth Burns Me (DualDreamer)

Idk, I'll be so bold to throw in my own fic here, even though I don't know if it falls even remotely under your parameters. It's definitely not a darkfic. But it's dealing with complicated feelings Obito has and it's veeeeery short. Sfw.

Enquiring_angel

This is my secret tip where I don't give a hoot about the parameters. xD Read any fic that's by enquiring_angel!!!!!!!! Just scroll through the madaobi tag on ao3 and if you see that name, click on it. She has such an amazing grip on the characters, I love her writing so much.

Secret tip: use online translator to read fic

Madaobi has a lot fans in the Chinese community on ao3. Can’t read Mandarin? Use a translator! Often the result will be a bit clunky but I found that once you get used to it, your brain can bridge the gap (like names that get messed up by the translator, or any grammar/sentence structure issues). There are some real gems out there. <3

Finally:

Otherwise, I can only recommend looking on ao3 by yourself. If you filter out any languages you can’t read (and maybe add some tags you prefer), the number of madaobi fics is small enough and not too overwhelming to navigate. (There are probably some fics I missed because I didn’t read them/they’re not up my alley, but might be to your liking?)

I hope this list helps out for a start. ^^

[t00nyah]

If you could make your own video game (think of an idea l and it just snaps into existence somehow) what would it be about and what mechanics would it consist of? What platforms would it be available for? Who's the target demographic? Or anything else you want to ramble about... I like to think of creating my own games sometimes.

haha they dont know i have a joke rpg game i made in a day to test my abilities.

in all seriousness though, i actually did have bigger projects that i never finished... so, just gonna drop that i'm a big fan of RPG maker games, horror ones, PSYCHOLOGICAL horror ones for even better score. and i am kind of a liiiittle experienced with rpg maker.

warning!!

this answer ended up containing a lot of sensitive topics(in my opinion??) and i tried my best to make sure to include them in tags AND before each idea's explanation, please check the tags and not proceed if those topics are sensitive to you personally!!

i had a project that i started making as a vent. that's the closest i had to actually making something. it was called zepphire's lair. zepphire is my sona from 2015 that had very bright neon colours that were probably UNBEARABLE to look at, then i tried redesigning her years later into something pastel. and then, umm... in 2022 i had issues with my style because i used to be VERY caught in 'oh,,,this one line is weird,,,how do people even like my art there's a stray pixel there...god.' and decided to do something about it. this 'something about it' was changing my art style to PURPOSEFULLY unpleasant to look at, messy and annoying. it was bright, i didnt care, and honestly i think it helped with being that critical to myself. anyways. sorry im rambling but it is important

so in 2022, when i had a giant relief of drawing in the most unbearable(and stunning at the same time) art style, i reused zepphire. FUCK PASTEL said me. NEONS ARE GOOD. it was a great decision.

so zepphire's lair was meant to be an rpg game where you play as zepphire. who in her head is still her young self that doesn't have to think about what happened. but in reality, her magical world she was meant to become a god of was destroyed and ruined because she wasn't responsible enough with powers granted to her. she is now the only resident of the Forbidden Location, an alternative world that people could get into by just clipping randomly. like you know when you find a spot in a videogame that doesn't have an invisible wall and you go OH. that. i wasn't sure how to continue working on it because it lacked story to tell as present. it had a past story to unfold, but i had no idea what would happen now. i had a thought of someone getting into FL somehow after long time and zepphire trying to solve this because they're clearly not meant to be there while in her head she's still stuck struggling with herself.

i want to put a little bit of assets i made for zepphire's lair, but since it's all very bright toxic neon i think i'm gonna place them at the veeeery end so you don't have to look at them if you can't stand it.

CW: cartoon blood!! a little bit of it!!

next up is my cool idea of a fangame! so, purrfect apawcalypse is one of my favourite game series. and i've been following it since first one and i have a LARGE fanmade setting set in the same universe! (in fact, two! i also made a reference for kitsune high which is set to be in an agricultural town inhabitated by foxes! it was a cool project)

the game idea was to make an rpg (because, again, that's all i know, lmao) that follows the Chatting club - a school interest club literally dedicated to rumors and just having a good time - as they unveil the secrets their school holds. cats and dogs disappearance cases? rumors of ghost around? who the heck lives in the garden and what're they up to? what is up with the Detective club's president Seraphima? there are many mysteries. it would have an overall vibe of the original novellas' series - a cutesy game about very cute furries and weird magic stuff happening, while also having a little bit...darker tone. like i was actually going to explore a very dark topic with this one but honestly? right now i really don't like the way i wrote it back then. if i were to pick up the idea again i deffo would try to rewrite it and make more sense into it. i like the detective vibe it had going though!

here are some references of the characters that are important to the plot! a lot of twists were planned for this story and i'm not going to tell them all because it's a secret tee-hee.

also as i searched for the refs i found that the working title of the game was 'purrfect meowting'

another concept for a game i had...which is a lot.

CW: contains themes of child neglect, probably abuse, general cat mistreatment, probably a bit of ableism(im unsure about this one) and maybe a bit of weird racism because one of mc's character's parent is weird and very stupid and we are allowed to hate her for that...i hope i mentioned it all.

i have a little ocs setting with three main characters that i refer as 'kitty girls' this story is tragic and is based on idea i had about making a story...about girls...but put them into life situations that would reflect what cats sometimes have to go through bc some humans are trash, but put it through a human lens, although not exactly. it also ended up a story that portrays children who've lost their childhoods for various reasons. idk how to explain.

these are Snowwhite, Rouge and Patches. their names were meant to be reflecting what another one's kitty sona is, but i fucked up, lol.

Showwhite is a picture perfect girl for her parents who's mostly been treated as a prize all her life, making her feel sick of herself. Rouge was neglected by her mom because 'she wasn't born red'(as in orange...like a cat...i used cat allegories every time i explained it but i think the implications are clear enough - her mother wanted her to look different.) and she lived a happy life with her grandparents. and Patches...is a deaf girl whose parents just couldn't take care of her properly so she ended up in an orphanage. she has awful attachment issues.

i won't explain the whole plot but their stories were meant to be kind of a portrayal of how some people treat animals as just objects, things they can just get rid of. a cat of specific breed, bred for specific traits which may be hurtful to it, a cat whose owner just threw it away after it not meeting the expectations, and a general theme of people not wanting to take in cats with injuries that make them 'not pretty' for them. i don't know why im tearing up right now but these make me so upset and i smh wanted to portray these issues though human characters, and while adapting them i realized that those awful stories ended up overlapping with how neglectful parents end up treating their children.

in the end they end up in cat heaven, where they all meet and get to be happy and be themselves. snowwhite learns to love herself for who she is and find out hobbies there, rouge just finally gets friends she lacked. also patches doesn't magically start hearing in cat heaven, she was given an option to but she felt overwhelmed a lot and ended up sticking to being deaf but not treating it as a bad thing, just a different thing.

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BONUS SECTION

i also have this unused character and concept art that i just made bc i finally felt like i could do something back in the day

her working name was 'vogel'

so. returning to zepphire's lair. one thing i forgot to mention earlier is that i also even made OST for it (didn't feel like it would fit the text above). this one is just the theme that plays in the first playable area

main menu theme...is too heavy for tumblr apparently. huh. it's a very simple tune it just goes on for very long (bc there's an easter egg if you listen to it for too long!!!)

next section contains bright images that im gonna put even deeper below!!

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title screen!

intro cutscene! small baby zepphire, and then zepphire acquiring her godmode key, and then ending up becoming a photoshooter!! the camera is important .

here she is!!! the cat herself!!!

a photo that she has in her inventory!! it's mewtona, her sister!

gameplay-wise i was gonna make it so you can collect random photos zepphire made and have to learn the implications of that and what it has to do with 'the photoshooting incident'. it would be somewhat close to omori - part of story is in reality and parts of it in headspace that explains the story.

I THINK that's all. sorry this took so long that was a lot of yapping!!!

[blue-tearss]

Welcome To The World Of POKéMON!

“ What is this ? ”

if not obvious, this is a rp/askblog for the pokepasta Blue Tears , based on the original story and the remake & ROM hack.

this blog will not be art based, but it will contain art if i have time for it. it will be mostly textbox based/ replied will be given in textbox form, and most of the art will likely be official game freak art that was slightly edited if at all. there will also probably be a good deal of narrative replies/writing if i don't have time.

CWS:

on top of the original cws for the original pokepasta ( implied pokemon death, gore, violence/blood, suicide ), this blog will likely also contain mentions of neglect, strong language, and a llloot of nihilism.

INTERP INFO

while sticking as close to canon as i can, in order to make the blog, well, make sense, ill be adding a few details.

similar to @/pokemon-monochrome, the players ( askers ) have found an abandoned gameboy. and, well..you'll figure out the rest in the starter post.

So far, we know that

Blue is self aware

There seems to be some kind of vague difference between "BLUE" , your rival, and "TEARS", the one who kills RED over and over.

At some point, BLUE was forced to face Missingno, which correlated with his gaining awareness.

According to OAK, his parents died in a vicious Pokemon attack. He blames BLUE for this, as his parents had left the young boy at his lab out of worry that he'd get hurt, and had therefore felt more confident in taking a more dangerous trip.

OAK harbors guilt related to aforementioned incident. And on the topic of OAK, he is also self aware—he was from the start.

tba im too lazy to write everything hhrhfksk

GENERAL RULES:

eh. the typical: no nsfw, don't be weird. if i don't get to an ask right away don't freak out. rp/chain replies (?) are allowed, too, but tag the blog in a separate post as to prevent clogging [ optional ]

OTHER MUSES

-are perfectly fine, and encouraged! don't try to force relationships, and be aware that BLUE is very abrasive. anything he says obviously doesn't reflect the way mod thinks. blahblahblah.

DMS/SUBMISSIONS

cool! no clue if either of those are even on actually but if you prefer to dm a roleplay starter im fine w that, as long as you're aware reply times will not be very consistent on some days.

"I WANNA SEE OTHER CHARACTERS"

there's a 70% chance you will! ill likely make other askblogs, and certain characters will appear on this one if they're relevant to the lore. so be patient :x

TAGS

( pokepasta askblog/answered asks ) - typical tags.

( ooc | not event ) - for when there's an event going on, and smth is unrelated. obviously

( not event ) - same as above, but in character.

( EVENT : ) event tag!! yay!! these are usually time-limited and will either end after a certain number of days or after certain information is obtained, depending on the popularity of the event.

( ENCOUNTER : ) - typically nocanon but not always, this is my special tag for interactions w other askblogs.

you can read my Blue Tears rewrite here

you can see an important post here

what's this a sideblog -> here

[yuyuonabeat]

A dream in a dream? It’s giving Deja Vu.

My Yunho brainrot is so strong I just had a dream about him and it was rather interesting.

Like we were a couple and the dream started with us in a car crash. I looked to my left and he was unconscious and with a big wound on his forehead from the crash.

He was bleeding all over. He was dead.

Then suddenly we were at his funeral (I fucking hate when I do time skips in my dreams).

Grief consumed me completely. And I had thought of two options in order to be with my love again.

Either commit suicide or find a spiritual way I could contact Yunho since he was now in the spirit world.

I knew he could hear me, I know he could see me. I knew he was as sad as I was.

In the dream, Yunho appeared as a blue faint fog. Like a spirit. He was standing beside his tombstone. Crying and shaking.

He couldn’t believe he was gone. And that he had lost me. I had lost him. But not entirely, because I could feel his presence, his aura. I knew he was around.

So I started calling out to him. I needed his opinion. I needed to see him. I needed him. At least one more time before he walked into the light and disappeared forever.

I moved closer to his tombstone where I could sense his presence strong and potent.

“Yunho? L-love?” I called to him.

Which was answered by a chill running through my hand left wrist and up my arm. Was he…. perhaps touching me? He was here indeed. And that triggered me to start crying.

I then felt the same chilly cold touch on my cheeks, as if he was wiping my tears away (I also hate how a lot of the stuff in my dreams I can actually feel while I’m dreaming, like remembering it I can feel his touch).

I tried to contain myself. I cleared my throat. Then I spoke up.

“Yunho, im so sorry….. you didn’t deserve this. You don’t deserve this. But….. I need to know.”

I took a deep breath and looked up as if trying to imagine I’m looking into his eyes.

“I want to be with you again. But I don’t know how. Is death, suicide the only way?”

I then felt the chilly cold touch on my shoulder.

How was he going to answer me? I needed to ask yes or no questions and ask him to throw something like a rock if the answer was yes.

I proceeded to ask so and he didn’t throw the rock. Which meant no? I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to be with him so badly. He was my world. My life was so numb and colorless without him.

I would succumb to the claws of death itself if it meant I could be with my love.

I told him what I wanted. I felt him shake me by my shoulders.

Perhaps he didn’t want me to sacrifice myself for our love. For our reunion. But I had nothing to loose.

Life was sad and lonely anyways, I thought.

We ended up agreeing to it somehow. A lot of begging on my part. We thought of ways to end my life without making it so painful. Another car crash? We didn’t have another car. Perhaps jumping off a building, it needed to be super high. A lot of people that jumped only ended severely injured. So we scratched that.

Then we thought about the method most victims use. Self harm. Perhaps a slash wound to my neck, the jugular vein? A big slash on my thigh? The veins there are sensitive and you loose a lot of blood rapidly.

Or simply just twisting my own neck and falling unconscious to the ground. That was fast, not painful at all. A quick blow and I was gone.

So we agreed on the ladder.

And then everything went black, until lights started to cloud my vision. I could see again. Then two feet before me, long legs, that beautiful slender form. Then those beautiful brown eyes that always made me weak. Yunho.

We hugged and kissed. It felt so good, lively. Even if we were dead now. We were now with each other again. For eternity.

Ehhhhhh. Yeah I tried my best to remember the dream. Most of it feels like a fog. I woke up crying, is all I will say.

Anyways. I thought maybe, if somebody could write a story of this, please do. I woke up from that dream so empty and sad. Like a piece of me was missing.

And I guess I just want the emotion to be put into words.

A lot of my dreams are of similar topics and emotions. They all feel lively, like I’m actually there. But this one took a part of me. This one left me feeling numb.

Also I apologize for any grammatical errors, I’m quite tired and not in the mood for proof reading.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Starlight, Starshine; an impenetrable disguise

its finally happening! i came up with a name for this little fanfic/one shot series/whatever this is going to be! obligatory title is ripped from a steam powered giraffe song (go listen to starlight starshine, its literally sun+moon x reader core im begging you) anyways! Starlight, Starshine is going to be a collection of self indulgent writings between our favorite animatronic and reader! from multiple different aus, though it will mostly center around 2! one au thats "everything is fine nothing bad happens please i just want them ALL to be happy" and the other is a silly dumb idea of "what if reader who used to work at the pizzaplex takes eclipse home and repairs them and ect ect happens"! todays little fic is based off of that! im so sorry about the long authors note, i really need to make it a habit to shorten these but yk obligatory admin is not used to writing fics and theyre still trying to find their style in terms of writing so ! most of these one shots also arent going to be in order, due to the nature of this being a collection of writings for at least 2 aus so for the most part theres no need to read them all to understand a greater story!

Summary: Months after the reader brings Eclipse to their home and repairs them, sun and moon must get accustomed to their new environment. however sun has some plans...

Extra notes: this one is primarily sun centered, reader has a dog, author is attempting at comedy, not proof read we die like men so expect a few grammar mistakes and spelling errors, a lot of this one shot also contains more context and exposition (???) to the "Taken Home" au referenced above, author is not confident in their writing skills and hasnt written a full fledged fic in a year or two, author also isnt used to writing proper dialogue so take that as you will, reader is GN/typically wont be given pronouns due to authors general writing style/POV, he/they pronouns for sun and moon they /them for eclipse, really this is just an experimental piece with a vague idea i had last night, nothing too special more so an exercise to get me back into writing, author is still trying to figure out how to write personalities so these are very likely to be OOC

The first word that came to your mind when describing Sun was "odd". He looked odd, he acted odd, he had odd rituals that he carried out in your home. However it wasn't a bad kind of odd.

It'd been a few months since you took the former daycare attendant to your home, and repaired them. You had already grown close to the pair long before the closure of the pizzaplex, being an extra set of hands in the daycare. You didnt even know they were still active within the building when you decided to explore the remains; already taken on the form of Eclipse, who at the time of your discovery was trying in vain to clean the wreckage. Of course repairing them wasn't easy given you had limited experience in... basically rebuilding an animatronic; but against all odds you made it work! You let them take the guest bedroom, not that either of them used it; they would much rather spend their time hovering around you.

It took a lot of getting used to, for everyone involved, but you were all adjusting quite nicely!

Mostly...

You see, Sun didnt like being cooped up.. your home being considerably smaller than the daycare he was so used to. Leading to todays horrible plan.

"Sunflower," You said through lightly clenched teeth as you watched the sun themed animatronic tug on an oversized hat. He really couldn't be doing this... this wasnt going to work, no one is this dumb to fall for this plan!

The plan in question? Well, Sun thinks it would be a good idea to wander about outside in a "disguise" of sorts; said disguise consisting of the aforementioned hat, sunglasses, a face mask, and a entirely new outfit. Obviously, it looked at convincing as it sounded.

Sun hummed and spun on his feel to look at you, already putting your dog on a leash. "Yeeees starshine?" He asked as he scratched your dog between the ears. "This isnt a good idea," You mumbled as you watched him make his way to the door. "Nonsense! There's hardly anyone out, it'll only be a quick walk around the park!" Sun cheered.

The second word that comes to your mind when you think to describe Sun, is "stubborn", as when he made his mind up on something you can almost guarantee that he would follow through with the plan. So now, you were following behind him, keeping your eyes peeled for anyone who could see him. If he weren't so tall, or if he could tuck his rays in, or didn't emit a mechanical creak with every step he made then perhaps, the plan may have just worked... perhaps.. maybe..

No, it wouldn't, you can see his metal neck from where you were standing.

"Remember, only one lap," You reminded him as you succumbed to his will, much to his delight as his pace picked up just ever so slightly.

To his credit, he was right about not many people being out and about, mostly in part due to the fact it was still early in the morning. Just light enough to keep Sun in control, but just early enough for most to still be sleeping or still getting ready for work. However, the park wasn't empty, mostly it was early morning joggers; who thankfully didn't pay much mind to the two of you outside of giving a half wave as they passed.

There were even a few parents around with their small children walking with them; be it they were walking them to school or simply taking them to take in the early morning air... Sun's body seemed to perk up at the sight of the children, loudly greeting them with a good morning; leaving both them and the parents slightly bewildered at his high energy.

There were others, who had decided to also take their dog out for an early walk. The people once again weren't an issue, as they seemed to miraculously fall for Sun's disguise from a distance.

Their dogs weren't fooled, though. Multiple dogs began to bark and growl as they passed by. "Oh I'm so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into him!" was said a few times throughout the walk. Again, the owners somehow didnt seem to notice the fact Sun was an animatronic, mostly due to having to restrain their dog from lunging forward at him.

The closest call, however, came from Sun excitedly taking up an offer for someone to pet their dog. For you see, Sun didnt think far enough ahead to cover his hands, thus leaving his hands in clear sight. Add in the fact that the dog bit Sun as he leaned forward to pet them.

Of course, the man noticed, and before he could say a word or question, you blurted out that it was a prosthetic hand. Though, you're not sure that the man bought it, as he was now craning his neck up to look up at Sun's round, flat face.

He slinked off. Whether it be he didn't have the energy to deal with it, or he simply just didnt care, or somehow believed you, he left.

Thankfully, that last interaction happened as you and Sun were beginning to loop back to where you started. Before Sun could begin to beg for a second round around the park, you started to walk him home; hand in hand.

"Oh that was so so fun! Starshine we gotta do this more often, everyone was so nice, " Sun chirped as you approached your front door. In his excitement he had begun to skip in long strides, forcing you to speed up your walk to a light jog.

"Yeah, again... maybe we can go earlier in the morning? You know we cant risk anything, I mean, if I get caught with you I could probably get sent to," You trailed off as Sun suddenly shoved something into your hands.

A handful of flowers that he had pulled up from the ground, he must have grabbed them while on the walk. How did you not notice? Were you that nervous of being found out by others?

A third word to describe Sun would be sweet. Even through his oddity and stubbornness, he still thought of you. Always so considerate.

Now that you think about it, you realize this may be the first time Sun has touched a real living flower.

You frowned, slightly. It made sense, he wasnt permitted to step foot outside of the pizzaplex, and its not like many people were giving him bouquets of fresh flowers. Usually if they did it'd be the obviously fake plastic ones. Sure, sometimes the kids would give him paper flowers.

"Can we go again tomorrow?" Sun asked as he watched you fumble around with the cluster of flowers... some were weeds, but.. its the thought that counts.

"Of course, Sunflower," You said before you could let yourself think logically.

Well, there was no taking it back, now. How could you, when Sun quickly stamped his heels in excitement as he dashed inside your home.

Perhaps you'll pick some flowers for him tomorrow, too.

yeah idk about this one yall LMAO, i genuinely didnt know where i was going with this one nor did i know how to end it, if that wasnt obvious SOBS im so not used to writing actual stories, im so used to short scenarios and headcannons... gotta fix that anyways i still have a few more ideas i want to write, but! thats it for the first one shot for Starlight, Starshine !

[anonymous-dentist]

hi! so recently i started writing a fic and ive never done that before. you can say im one third through on it and trying to look up some advice on writing so it would go smoother in some sense. do you have something you would say to your younger writer self when you were only starting?

I've been thinking this ask over for the past few days, and I finally have an answer:

I've been writing since I was 6 years old. Back then, it obviously sucked ass, but there's one problem with my earlier writing that I think I've kept having to deal with every time I sit down to write a new thing, and it's the fact that I make things Too Complicated

There's always this urge when writing to make it big and fancy and deep and meaningful, and that's fine and all, but you've also gotta remember to keep it simple and contained. You don't want to confuse the audience or yourself, the author, by making your story too convoluted in an attempt to be Great. Not everything overly fancy or "deep" is great, just look at what happened to Supernatural when it started introducing all these Big Huge Twists And Turns and all these stupid Lore Dumps that didn't make sense. Supernatural became a laughing stock, and it died a sad, lonely death (just like Dean Winchester did ayyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!)

I ran into this problem real recently, actually, when developing the Deli Superhero AU. I wanted it to be big and huge and sad and emotional, but I forgot the core of it: a love letter to fandom superhero fics. That's it. It doesn't need to be groundbreaking, it needs to be good.

You get a tighter story when you don't over-complicate things. I've had to work around so much bullshit even now when working on Breaking Dawn because I introduced too much early on, and now the story is suffering for it. When you have as much experience as I do, it's easier to work around, but? It's still hard!

TLDR; keep it simple, keep it clean. Don't confuse the readers or yourself by making things too complicated.

[arinzu]

IM FEELING VERY SARCASTIC RN

The Journey Of Emiliee Smithrens

to marry one of the itoshi members...

Sarcasm... more nonsense rn. Wattpad type crap

AHHH IM BUSTING WITH ENERGY RN!

This is just a joke, and uh- short since I got this idea as I was playing...

dress to impress 👗👍😁

(theme was valentine day)

Hihi I'm Emiliee Smithrens! And I will confess my love to the one and only Itoshi Rin💕

I waited for the arrival of my love my itoshi Rin... I got nervous and weakly grab the heart shape container filled with sweets, with my own petite hands

'It's okay emi! You got this just say the script and he'll be yours' I note starting to calm down and the nervously me fade away

I brighten up when I see rin going to my little figure. Keeping a bright smile I turned my head up to see his majestic face.

"H-hello... I'm Emiliee" I blush cutely

"Emily?" My soon to be Rin questioned

"No... Emily with a liee, itoshi-sama!"

"Erm..." My sweet boo bear said.

"I want to confess something to you" I say as I try to brush my blonde hair

"Dont-"

"You and me were meant to be, you make me smile! I love you to the moon and back! Being yours is a dream come true. I love you just the way you are! I love you LIKE caseoh size! I still fall in love with you every day.nI didn't choose you, my heart did pookie bear.... Please be mine!"

"No. Absolutely. Not. Happening" did Rin just reject me? This has to be a dream. "...plus those lines are from Google"

"Please senpai! Just accept me as your girlfriend" I beg him flashing my best puppy face.

"I'm going to get a restraining order against you" my heart sank as he told me this, when I wasn't looking... He left me.

My blue shiny eyes start filling up with water, tears start flowing down my eyes

But that's okay! I can still get the hotter and more rich itoshi, Sae itoshi the football prodigy and the older brother of Rin itoshi.

....

I just finished wiping another set of tears for another itoshi.

Oh well it's a shame I got rejected twice on valentines day, once by sae itoshi and the other by Rin itoshi.

But that's fine I'll just go the older route!

Im not picky with the any itoshi's

Time to go see the father of the itoshi brothers!

...

I arrange to meet the one and only father itoshi, I stand there staring at the beach , my blonde long hair tied to a neat bun. Perfect for the occasion.

As I start becoming nervous, I hype myself up with the face of him and me getting married. That set a smile to my soft and delicate face.

I recall my practice script, it was amazing. Simple and straightforward yet very romantic! I got this in the bag he will be mine

As I saw him approaching my small body I started blushing seeing his magnificent face.

As he approaches closer I hold on tight to the bouquet of flowers and teddy bear I was holding with my tiny soft hands.

When he was just close enough I strike.

"Mr. Itoshi! I love you and please be mine" I excitedly exclaim out loud.

"Miss were you the one who scheduled the super duper important meeting? He ask my gorgeous self.

"Yes! Since you're going to meet me your future wifey💕" I happily remark.

"But I already have a wife miss..." Oh my sweet babycakes.

"She doesn't have to know~!" He froze and started backing up to avoid me.

"Ma'am please seek mental therapy..." He said my heart sank again

I started crying non-stop and the man just left me crying all alone.

...

But that's just Okay! I still have his wife. So let me shoot my shot.

Long short short. She didn't come, I prepared everything exactly how I wanted it to be.

She didn't come...

She didn't...

I didn't have a Valentine to any itoshi afterall

I stayed there at the restaurant until midnight. She didn't come, she ghosted me...

Is this my karma...?

Yeah that's it!

No more part 2 to her story.

Even a overall story:

Emiliee never got her valentine to any itoshi. The end💕

Thank you for reading this dumbass of a story!!!!

Also for the ppl who wanted a part 2 to Rin x reader apocalypse please wait it's taking too long!

[aemiron-main]

Some ST3 Opinions & Thoughts On ST3’s Use of Foreshadowing

Something that I really liked about S3 was the absence of Brenner & how the lab overall is less present, but those lab-created horrors are even more grotesque and in-your-face and present, alongside the lab foreshadowing/parallels (such as what I talked about here regarding the S3 hospital vs 1979 lab parallels).

Like, I don’t mean this in a “Brenner is BAD and i HATE HIM so im GLAD he wasnt in S3 way,” i mean it in a “even when Brenner is nowhere to be found, even when the lab is ‘shut down’ and dormant, the impacts of what the lab has done continue to ramp up,” way.

IMO, the absence of the lab and of Brenner (and therefore the absence of a single person/entity to easily pin the blame onto) does a great job at demonstrating the way that unethical science becomes a monster of its own & how even shutting down the lab & keeping Brenner at bay wasn’t enough to stop everything that’s happening.

I think it’s a great way to emphasize the way that the consequences of the lab’s experiments continue to echo and continue to impact people.

And jumping back to what I talked about in the beginning regarding the ST3 vs ST4 parallels and foreshadowing, I actually think that it’s partially that use of foreshadowing that makes it feel different/“”””out of place”””” compared to other seasons (although i do think that ST3 often being a contrast to prior seasons is exactly why it fits in place because S1 and S2’s vibes wouldnt be as noticeable/memorable if Every Season Was Like That & ST3 gives something to contrast ST1 and ST2 with), and the reason why I think that use of foreshadowing makes it feel different is because while EVERY season of ST has tons of foreshadowing, ST2 also has tons of direct connections to ST1 (even connections as subtle as spending a lot of shots in the Byers house, specifically in that hallway which was key to Will’s vanishing in S1), whereas while ST3 ABSOLUTELY has connections to previous seasons, we’re now moving into new locations etc etc, so those connections arent as constant as they were in S2. And so, as a result, the season becomes more future and foreshadowing-focused, but we dont recognize that when we watch S3 initially/for the first tike because we havent seen S4 yet.

Like, it’s very easy now to go back and see the absolutely insane number of highly specific parallels to S4 that exist in S3, but without the context of S4, a lot of those S3 scenes almost feel “useless”/emptier than they should.

And ST3 has so much time imagery and specifically “future” references that really just hammer home ST3’s use of foreshadowing/its focus on foreshadowing.

So, my main point here is that I think that while its totally fair to have a favourite season/prefer diff vibes/this isnt a criticism of that, I also think that approaching every single season of ST as if they’re entirely self-contained is where criticism of ST (and specifically S3) tends to be less effective- because S3 really is much, much better with the context of S4, like with the context of S4, S3 is absolutely rich with intricate foreshadowing (you can even foreshadow very specific things and names things from the S4 newspapers back in S3, such as what I talked about in this post), but that context and those intricacies are lost when you isolate every season and try to look at each season as a standalone story.

The Creel foreshadowing alone in S3 is absolutely constant- Heather Holloway is literally IN the Creel tub when she’s in the void!! But you’d have no way of knowing that on your first S3 watch through/without the context of S4.

I actually think it’s really neat that ST3, on the surface, is a very flashy and “obvious” and seemingly “surface level,” season, but then, when you dig deeper with the context of S4, it’s actually a season with an absolute ton of depth and foreshadowing and intricate connections.

[doubledyke]

hey, i’ve read some of your writing and i really like it. do you have any tips?

aw dude that's really sweet. i'm really self conscious about everything i write so i appreciate hearing that. i'm still learning myself, so my advice is probably gonna be kind of obvious yet nebulous (much like my writing). oh and im not great at following my own advice, but we can ignore that.

first and foremost i'd say try to have fun. get weird with it. don't stress too much about it. it's supposed to be an enjoyable pastime, so write what YOU like, how you like. the "rules" of grammar and composition are helpful, but you're allowed to be a lot more lax with creative writing. i know i am 👀

in my humble opinion, you can never have too many details, even- or especially- oddly specific ones. personal experiences are a great way to inject some minutiae, and i enjoy the insight they provide into the author's perspective, background, thought process, etc.. there are infinite other tools at your disposal too. like the number of times i've found myself browsing ancient, niche forums just to confirm one insignificant bit of information is ridiculous.

don't be afraid to take your story as seriously or unseriously as you want. sometimes i'll be snapped out of focus with the thought of "am i really writing this rn" 😂 but i just try to remind myself that i'm (usually) having fun, i'm not hurting anyone and someone might even enjoy the final product.

for eene, try to listen to the voice acting as much as you watch the animation. and don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone when writing a character. i'm neither comfortable, nor very good at writing for ed, but i nutted up and gave it a shot recently and yeah it's nuclear level cringe but i suppose it can't get any worse, right? RIGHT???.... i love learning new words, so when i'm writing for edd (and in general) you know i keep that thesaurus tab open. with eddy, there's always room for more irreverence. i'm also one of those people that cannot help but drop almost every g when i write eddy. and it's just as important to get their idiolects down, which can be tricky. BUT that's mostly if your goal is to stay close to the source material, which is definitely not necessary. i'm just not a very creative person 😂

if you're in a rut, skip to another section, or hell even another chapter. the fic i'm working on rn was hatched from a simple premise several months ago, so i started at the end and have been building on that. an unconventional starting point can be really helpful when you're struggling to start at all. because i'm me, it's turned into a nightmare beast that i can't seem to contain, but i still have a general idea of where we're going and we'll get there eventually lmfao. to that point, outlines, bullet points, notes, etc. are all very useful.

take breaks, let her sit for a while. i'll write a whole bunch, leave, come back to review and be like girl what the hell is this. fresh eyes make a big difference! however, don't be like me and get too caught up in the weeds. i make compulsive little tweaks of my shit up to the point and even after i hit post. more often than not, it's more stress than it's worth. i just can't help it 🥴

and then of course, read other people's stuff. i'm not much of a fiction reader but i make exceptions for the sake of my hyper-fixation. it truly does help to see different perspectives and styles of writing. everyone has a unique voice that really comes through in creative writing, which i love. i've gleaned a lot from reading other people's work as well. i frequently come across new and creative ideas for changing up sentence structure, dialogue tags and narration by reading stuff from fellow fans.

aaaaaand yeah idk what else really. like i said, i'm not the best at writing but i think as long as you're getting your ideas across in the way that you want to, you're golden. anyone who makes shitty remarks about someone else's writing can sit and spin honestly.

[indigo6f00ff]

ive finally beat the dlc for cassette beasts which means I have like 90% of the story done (before I grind the board) but also I just have to say (spoilers if u haven't beaten the game + dlc yet, also kind of me just being a hater so if you don't feel like reading negative stuff about this game, Then Dont)

the writing with Gwen is kind of weird. honestly the archangels as a whole are weird (especially with morgante being like "okay now I have to kill u teehee as is my nature" after you stop like untold death and destruction. But That's For Another Day)

like am I supposed to feel bad for her? sure she's lonely but I mean. the whole trying to do live experiments on humans thing. viewing them as like straight-up animals instead of like, people. and only promising not to do it, not because it's wrong, but because we as the player character are stronger than her. obviously she'd like have this whole outlook being a god and all, and the game does kind of have a heavy theme with "might makes right" since it's an rpg and The Good Guys™ need a way to like initiate the main gameplay of the game in order to get rid of/convince The Bad Guys™ but uh. why is she then cast in a sympathetic light after she throws a Godly Temper-Tantrum and just goes. oh well you beat me, that's why I won't experiment on peeps, because you beat me, and not because it has many ethical flaws.

And Ok I Get That This Is A Kids Game but if u know me I love complaining about the writing in kid's games and I feel like it would make Gwen a more compelling character if she like, learned to Literally Not Dehumanize Humans Just Because She Perceives Herself As A Superior Lifeform. im getting fucking hatecrimed by these immortals man. what's the point if she doesn't have any character growth and just thinks something is bad without actually knowing why it's bad.

the gods in this game are fucken weird man. like pretty much every one of them has contempt for humans, or at least treats humans as lesser lifeforms just because they aren't as powerful as them. even the fucking mer-line is like "ugh mortals are Below me I'm sending magikrab to go talk to them instead." while presumably being the one who's sending everyone to new wirral when there's no way back. so-

if Gwen is supposed to be a character that's different from the other archangels in the fact that she's fascinated with humans and wants to be around them, whyyy isn't she given more character growth to make her overcome her inherent biases as a Literal God. maybe bytten has more planned for her later down the line but her story felt pretty self-contained and not much else is gonna happen with it Sooo. :) yet another character that I despise (exaggerating) that seeks sympathy even tho they've done nothing to warrant it

[loathsomespider]

to be clear this is not an attack on you and i enjoy your work. you dont even have to answer this if its too rude or presumptuous in your opinion. but i think its funny seeing your "definitively, if its the source material, they would fucking say that" post while knowing how you feel about the weaker parts of homestuck and also the uh. the epilogues. again this isnt supposed to be an epic own gotcha moment i think everyone is allowed to contain multitudes and shit. im just also a bit mischievous and part of me wants to be the little wondershowzen puppet going "But can we discuss the contradiction"

ah too bad you wanted to be a silly little gotcha puppet but i was thinking about this too! hold my hair back im forming this idea in real time so im about to start just vomiting the fuck up a bunch of half-formed ideas. (this is the second time today ive used this analogy)

the thing is that while i dont like the homestuck epilogues at all, there's no denying that it is largely, in-character, in broad strokes. it's a story which relies on every character being their worst possible self, sure. it is, in a lot of ways, a very public, very messy relapse. it gets at some really ugly parts of what the characters are, and that's just not what i want from homestuck.

it's part of a larger trend of hussie trying really hard to Make Dramatic Art and Tell Stories With A Point that i think really plays against what theyre good at, like. you see this with psycholonials too, just this idea of storytelling where nothing good ever happens and every character is not just flawed, but unbearably, noxiously toxic. and yknow, that's fine too, its literally not an invalid goal for a story to have.

its just not what i really like about homestuck and to a lesser extent problem sleuth. like, as messy as my feelings are about psycholonials, i still think fondly of zhen as a character even if she is the worst person to ever exist.

its like they took "dave being abused by bro came out of nowhere, the rooftop strifes dont really feel textually different from the other guardian strifes" all the way to heart and way overcorrected.

but all that to say, the worst possible self-hood apple hasnt fallen too far from the tree. and that's not strictly an invalid thing to tell a story about. it's just not what i want out of homestuck. and the tangible difference there, imo, is that puts the onus of not liking it on me, rather than hussie, cephiedvariable and ctset. they set out to do something, i didn't like what they did, i had an extended mental breakdown about it that i am still feeling the ramifications of even now, but at some point, the world continued to turn.

i hope you can kind of sense this feeling in bdth - while they aren't really in the running to be main characters or anything, rosebot, pesterquest rose, and candy rose are all real in burning down the house. i may be taking jane in a different direction, but that different direction is still in terms of hs2 jane. hell, tavros crocker gets a cameo in the walkaround

and yeah, this is to emphasize the contrast bdth jane against post-canon jane, but in order for that contrast to mean anything, those parts of the character have to have meaning enough to be rejected, which is the real point im getting at. it sort of drives home that i'm not just *really fucking up* at writing jane, too, which is actually more important than youd think.

ignoring the textual parts of a character you dont like because it conflicts with what you want the character to be (an image that you construct and maintain on your own, unintentionally) is a great way to wind up doing bad characterization of that character.

and yknow, sometimes that's fine! if your reach never gets beyond making an incorrect quotes blog, that doesnt matter. who give a shit. besides me, historys most notorious hater, who will seethe about a bad character take for weeks on end. (but i am the exception, not the rule)

if you're really swinging for the fences as i tend to do, at all times, even when i would be best suited not to, it just doesnt sit right to me to drop bits of a character you dont like just because you dont like it. when youre writing, its there specifically to be played with. and again, "playing with it" here still encompasses rejecting it and doing something different.

and yeah, different authors are going to focus on different parts of a character, but then youre getting out of the scope of this post tbh. but i think its worth remembering that nobody ever wants to make something bad on purpose. even intentionally making something bad on purpose is something you would want to succeed at, you dont want to fail at making something bad on purpose, etc. etc. this is stupid.

tl;dr its not actually that contradictory imo