#im actually so fucking tired but i cant sleep what is life

[ttroubledwaters]

It's 3 in the morning and I'm bouta try to go to sleep but I just wanted to tell everyone i am NOT insomniac, sometimes I just can't sleep. And by sometimes I mean like every single night, even with melatonin or any other sleeping draught I'm still up for hours BUT STILL IM NOT INSOMNIAC.

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

[im2tired4usernames]

They stole any possible joy of motherhood I could have possibly wanted they stole my entire childhood they stole my teenage years my twenties and they continue to steal my future they won't be happy untill they've taken my whole life

[coloursofaparadox]

im still not over the sleep thing one sec i gotta rant about this shit

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i love christmas in theory but its scary to me how little i remenber to do things

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[beecampbell]

been crying a lot. sad a lot. was a bad idea to get into a long distance relationship. didnt learn from lilsimsie.

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

Tw: SH and su!c!de

[puppmeo]

Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody

[dreamingpine]

do you think my characters hate me for loving them and hateing them and putting them thru it?

[echoesofadream]

im an idiot

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[bkgml]

MORE EX BF BAKUGO STUFFS PLSSSSSS

actually my fav trope it’s an illness 🙈

*incoming call from kirishima*

is the notification lighting up your screen.

it’s 3am, is what the clock is telling you as you crack an eye open while groaning.

“fuck.” you whine as you grab your phone, sliding your thumb to the answer button.

“hello?” you croak, still tired from sleep.

you hear an uneasy sigh from the other line.

“uhm. hey yn. it’s kirishima.” he says.

you can hear the urgency in his voice even though he’s desperately trying to hide it.

“hi kirishima. why are you calling me?” you say as politely as you can for it being 3 in the morning.

“i know it’s late, i’m sorry. bakugou got in an accident, it’s bad.” he says and your heart drops.

“that sucks, i’m sorry. we’re broken up though. so uh… what does this have to with me?” you ask timidly.

“is that her? let me fucking talk to her!” you hear the voice of your ex boyfriend in the background.

“i don’t want to talk to him.” you say calmly.

you hear a sigh from the other end followed by a ‘hang on’.

“i know. the situation is complicated though, can you let me explain?” he asks and you can hear the pleads in his tone.

you pause before speaking.

“…alright fine.” you breathe.

“thanks. bakugou man im going in the bathroom for a second!” he calls to katsuki.

you hear rustling and shouting before the click of a doorknob.

“okay. he needs you.” he says slowly, cautiously.

“kirishima-“ you frown.

“i know.” he cuts in.

“we got attacked by villains today and he got hit with a memory loss quirk.”

“so… what does he remember?” you whisper.

“pretty much everything important. except…”

you stay silent while you wait in anticipation for his response.

“the breakup.”

your breath hitches.

“kirishima, open the fucking door! i need to talk to her!”

you can hear the pounding.

the pounding on the door.

along with the pounding of your heart in your ears.

“yn. he needs you. i know this is awful to ask of you. we don’t know how long this will last and in his mind, the love of his life is refusing to see him after he’s been injured. please come. please.”

the pounding continues.

“yn! baby, can you hear me? what did i do?? just let me talk to you. kirishima let me talk to her!”

he’s pleading through the door. like he was on your last night together.

“fuck. fine. i’ll be there in ten but i want all of you to delete my number after this.” you say as you rip the covers off your body in annoyance.

you walk up the stairs of your ex boyfriends apartment building, where you left your heart six months ago.

you knock on the door and kirishima half opens it, restricting you from bakugou.

“hey. thank you for this.” he says, quietly.

you switch your weight on your feet and glance at you hands.

“yeah… what do i need to do exactly?” you sigh.

kirishima clears his throat awkwardly.

“well. knowing him he will probably kick me out so it’ll just be the two of you. since he has no memory he’ll probably act however he would after a fight with you.” he replies.

“so he’s going to kiss and hug me?” you frown, raking a hand through your hair.

kirishima sighs before the two of you hear loud footsteps, barreling towards you.

“baby?! hey, what did i do? hm? come inside.” bakugou mumbles out, reaching for your arms.

you smile weakly before you’re being pulled into the apartment by your wrist.

he brings the two of you to sit on the couch and you look at kirishima.

“act natural!” he mouths to you.

“hey, suki.” you softly say, nickname foreign on your tongue.

“did we get in a fight?” he asks.

you gulp, playing with your fingers.

“yeah. kind of.” you reply.

he huffs to himself.

“i cant fucking remember. i still cant. damn quirk should’ve worn off by now.” he glares at his coffee table, arms crossed.

you hesitate but eventually place your hand on his back, rubbing comforting circles into his skin.

he looks at you softly.

“can we fight tomorrow when i remember? just wanna sleep with you.” he whispers, frown present on his face.

you sigh, taking a moment to think to yourself.

“okay, katsuki.” you smile wearily.

he leans forward to press soft kisses to your lips.

you exhale into the kiss, bringing your hand up to cup his face.

he shift to kiss down your neck before nuzzling into it.

“okay guys, i’m still here.” kirishima says awkwardly.

you laugh lightly and katsuki frowns at him.

“are you stayin over?” katsuki asks. he’s familiar with kirishima needing to stay the night after dangerous missions. his own home seeming too empty and dark.

kirishima nods and katsuki stands from the couch, pulling you with him.

“night.” the boys say to each other as kirishima settles on the couch and katsuki pulls you to his room.

you look behind you and kirishima sends you a comforting smile.

as soon as the door shut behind the two of you, you felt katsukis hands under your arms until he tosses you on his bed.

you laugh lightly, your mind feeding you bittersweet memories of moments just like this one.

katsuki crawls up the bed until he reaches your stomach, flopping down onto you and burying his face into your shirt.

“hi.” you say sweetly.

soon your shirt is lifted and he’s pressing open mouthed kisses into your skin.

“hi. ‘m sorry we fought. love you.” he mumbles, lifting himself on his forearms and crawling higher up on your body.

you nod. failing to reciprocate his love.

he frowns and sucks the skin under your collarbone.

“love you.” he repeats again, frown on his face.

“kats-.” you whine, voice breaking.

“what’s going on? was our fight bad?” he soothes, rubbing circles into your cheek with his thumb.

you feel your tears bubble over as you nod.

going to wipe your tears before he could see them. he beat you to it, kissing them away then pressing a warm kiss to your temple.

“it’s over now, yeah?” he asks.

you whimper and tuck your face into his neck.

“i want it to be but when your memory comes back you’re gonna leave me again.” you cry, fisting his shirt while tripping over your words.

he shushes you, bringing a hand to the back of your head and scratching your back.

“it’s okay, sweet thing. we’re okay.” he whispers against your neck.

“just go to sleep, yeah?”

you nod hesitantly and katsuki rolls onto his back with you clinging on.

you cuddle up sweetly on his chest and he scratches your back until you drift off.

“are we broken up?” katsuki asks shakily.

kirishima turns to see katsuki standing in the doorway.

“uhhhh. i don’t think you and me were ever together.” kirishima laughs uncomfortably.

“you know what i fucking mean.”

kirishima groans, dragging a hand down his face.

“i’m trying to stay out of this.” he frowns.

bakugou clenches his fists.

“i deserve to know.”

“katsuki?” you call from the bedroom.

“you’re telling me tomorrow.” he frowns at kirishima.

kirishima nods in reply and katsuki walks back into the bedroom.

“hi sweets.” he smiles, climbing into bed with you and kissing your neck.

you scratch at the base of his hairline in appreciation.

“why’d you go?” you ask softly.

he knows you’re trying not to sound scared.

even though you both know you were a little tense.

“my memory’s still gone.” he smiles, giving you soft kisses.

“just needed some water.” he says against your lips.

“mmm.” you hum into the kiss, relief washing over you.

“let’s lay down, yeah?”

“let’s lay down, yeah?”

“i cant.” you sputter, gasping through sobs.

his hands are on your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

you shake your head while stepping back, using your hands to push at his chest.

“baby.” he reasons.

“you can’t call me that.” you whine.

“i love you so much, just sleep here with me.” he pleads.

you wrap your hands around his wrists and tug his hand from your face harshly.

“is that you talking? or the commission?” you say coldly.

his face turns solemn, allowing his arms to drop.

“i just want you to be safe.” he whispers.

you fist his shirt.

“you keep me safe.” you cry, tears flowing freely.

he wraps his arms around you, tightly.

“the commission doesn’t think so, sweets.” he replies, his own eyes filling with tears.

you watch as the love of your life’s memory comes back.

and he watches while yours fill with tears.

you grab onto his shirt with the tightest grip you can muster.

“please don’t go, katsu.” you whimper.

his face morphs into the familiar face that plagues your dreams.

“no.” you plead.

“no. no. no.”

he drops his head so his face is in your neck.

“i need you safe. you’re not safe when you’re with me.” you feel tears on your neck.

“i don’t wanna be safe. i want you.”

he brings his head up to look at you.

“i want you too.” you smile through your tears at his words.

he kisses your cheeks softly.

“but we can’t be together, baby. at least not for now.” he says, pressing his forehead to yours.

the two of your cry together, entangled in each others embraces.

until you fall asleep, dried tears on your faces and his lips on your forehead.

part 2

[phagodyke]

and now I'm upset again I fucking give up

why was I fighting for my life trying to stay awake and failing at 4pm in the afternoon and now its 1:30am I cant fucking sleep at all :^/

[moonchild-in-blue]

Massive thank you to you and everyone else who calls out how shitty it is to get mad at peoples interpretations. Sleep tokens music is romantic. Its also toxic. These statements can coexist. Its not your business if someone plays bloodsport or vore or hell even atlantic at their wedding. Youre not them, you dont know what the music means to them. If you see a weird take just roll your eyes and move on, its not a big deal. Absolutely sick and fucking tired of all these "why are you calling this romantic/sexy? Youre stupid and a terrible person!" takes like fucking relax. Media literacy is important yes. Respecting that this music is dark and personal to vessel is also important. Same goes for respecting how people relate to the music in dark ways. But as long as people are not saying things directly to vessel or fans about how their individual trauma is sexy then just chill out and respect peoples different interpretations. It sucks that i cant talk about how i view certain songs without being called horrible things and having really fucked up vitriol aimed at me. Yall need to grow the fuck up and get over yourselves. Im not thinking of your personal shit when i call a certain song romantic/sexy, i dont even know you, sometimes im thinking of my own trauma actually lol. Lets all discuss this music maturely where we respect each other and what each of us as individuals bring to the table for interpretation, stop making this fandom toxic as hell for anyone who doesnt agree 100% with your own interpretation. (Also the whole "youre not allowed to say this song is romantic/sexy" thing is very dismissive of some peoples trauma in itself, it ignores how messy someones feelings toward their abusers/toxic partners can be. Pretty fucked up to call a trauma survivor stupid or a terrible person because a song reminds them of their positive feelings towards someone who hurt them) Anyways yeah, just tired of people being so harsh because they refuse to see other peoples perspectives. I genuinely think one of the most toxic aspects of this fandom is the vitriol over different interpretations, people act like outright children at times with it im ngl, especially with more sexual discussions. It also feels infantilizing towards vessel at times, hes a grown adult who put romantic/sexy elements in his music and he doesnt need people trying to protect him from those themes. Im rambling but this stuff pisses me off so much, this fandom needs to do better

Context post for the clueless ones - regarding my tags/replies

Here's the thing - I've been in fandoms for many, many, MANY years. This type of discussion isn't anything new nor unique to Sleep Token, but it sure does make a comeback quite often. It's tiring to keep repeating the same things over and over, but that's what fandom is all about isn't it?

Someone needs to say something, and I am not one to shy away from uncomfortable conversations like these. Something something, build your own community, be the change you wanna see, etc etc.

I've said pretty much everything I wanna say already under that post, but for the sake of clarity, and because I can't keep my mouth shut apparently -

Under the cut for length - you know the drill:

Music is art. And art is subjective. Meaning, each individual will have their own personal connection and interpretation of a given piece of art, which in this case is Sleep Token's music.

Did Vessel write the songs with a certain intent or meaning? Most likely yes! It's not hard to connect the dots and guess what events/emotions might've transpired and served as inspiration for them (accuracy to personal life is irrelevant and none of our business, but it's also no rocket science to understand what's been said).

Can we establish a base meaning for any given song, or better, can we have a general consensus of what a song is about based on its lyrics and themes? Absolutely! Not every song is like that, but we can all agree there's a lot of recurring themes of past relationships and mental health struggles.

Is it wrong to diminish the songs to one basic element (eg. the sexual undertones) and/or completely disregard the bigger, more important theme? I'd say it is.

Giving Atlantic as an example (which as a lot of you know, is my most favourite song of them and very dear to me): this one has some very blatant references to suicide and depression. Regardless of whether it is based on irl events or not (none of our business!!!), it is extremely heavy and emotionally charged. I find it incredibly disrespectful when people say random stuff during the rituals when he plays this one.

Or for example, how certain people reduce Sleep Token to "baby making metal", instead of acknowledging the insane (insane!) variety of genres and the profound lyricism they present.

Should we limit our views, and by extension, those of others, to surface-level interpretation, without allowing room for different views and interpretations, either fictional lore based or not? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Vessel himself said to "not restrict ourselves to labels or genres because music transcends it all" (paraphrasing here). It's literally their whole thing. It's very hypocritical to be shouting from the rooftops about "media literacy" and assuming people are stupid or idiots for not understanding the basic, surface-level meaning of a song, when Vessel himself constantly writes in metaphors and half-truths.

I've touched on this a lifetime ago on one of my analysis, but if you *actually* look at the lyrics, you'll realise Vessel hardly ever says what he means. There's always something else behind his words, something he purposefully keeps hidden. It really sneaks upon you sometimes! I'm over a year in and I still find something new everyday on their music. That man has a way to weave in a hundred and one statements under a single sentence, that is just truly beautiful to study.

Is, say, The Love You Want, about a man (Vessel) mourning the fact that his love isn't reciprocated? Yeah! Is it about someone who, despite knowing they can never receive from their lover the attention and affection and care they want, will stay by their side anyways? It is!

Is it about bitterness, spiteful accusations aimed at the one person who should love you fully? Or a reflection of how little self-regard the singer has, so much that they are willingly and actively choosing to stay in a sinking one-sided relationship, because the alternative is too painful to bare? Can you flip the switch and see it as someone who is obsessively pursuing another person, and painting themselves as a victim? All of this, yes!

You can even eliminate the romantic aspect all together and apply it to a relationship with the self (past or future, or an alter ego), or a parental figure. The options are endless. There isn't one universal truth when it comes to music, and as such, all of these takes are 100% correct.

Many statements can be true at the same time - it doesn't make one more true or correct than the other. Simply different. The way we connect with music is very much dictated by our own life experiences, and no two people have lived the exact same life.

Can you prefer a certain way to look at a song, or completely disagree with certain takes? Absolutely! I know I sure as hell do! That's normal and expected and part of the fun in being in a community such as ours. More people means more ways to look at a song - isn't that just wonderful?!

Now, this is very obvious for most of us, but some people, especially in the younger rage, have been taught to look at things in a very black and white way. Not to be that person, but the truth is that the rise in awareness of social issues and "pc-ness", is slowly starting to eliminate the possibility of things being flawed and nuanced.

If you're wrong, you're awful. If you're right, you're obnoxious. Made a mistake? Get cancelled. Grow from your mistakes, but not like that. Learn from your actions, but change your whole personality in a day otherwise you're problematic.

You know what I mean.

Life isn't black and white. Art isn't black and white. Music isn't black and white. What may seem like a toxic, dark, obsessive depiction of a relationship to you, might translate to the deepest and most truest of loves to me. I can acknowledge something is Not Right, while still drawing my own conclusions.

Is Blood Sport a sad af song? Yeah! Definitely not the first thing I'd think of when in a happy relationship. But maybe that's the point. And maybe I do. And that's okay, and none of anyone's business. "Okay but The Apparition isn't a good example of a healthy and romantic-" TO YOU! Maybe that's what love looks like to me! Maybe I just happen to be into it! And what about it?

Maybe to me love comes with all the ugly sides too. The violence, the despair, the self-doubt. Who are you to dictate what I can or can't think? I highly doubt Vessel would go 🗣️ "WRONG! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! >:::(", so why would you?

You can, and should, discuss the songs with others! Maybe some people do genuinely need a fresh pair of eyes to help them get to the juicy core of the songs - that's why we're here! To discuss, and exchange ideas! You can, and should, call people out when their engagement with the music is being harmful to others (joking and laughing during Missing Limbs? No bueno. Speculating about Vessel's personal life? VERY no bueno. Choosing a potentially weird song to walk down the aisle? None of your business + not your wedding + you weren't even invited + none of your business. Notice how I've been repeating that. Notice again).

You shouldn't, however, shame and ridicule others for having different views from you.

I think, rather than engaging in pointless discussions and start accusing people of being this or that, we should all exercise a little "don't like? scroll past". Is it harming you or others? No? Then scroll past! Is it an awful, truly horrendous take about something you're really passionate about? Okay! Disgusting! Scroll past! Good for them! 👍

Also - keep an open mind. We're all doing this living businesse for the first time, no one holds all the answers to everything. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to say the wrong thing and backtrack. It's okay to make a mistake and learn and grow.

You know what's not okay? Being a dick to others because the thing you like is being misinterpreted. It's hard, I know!!! You can block people! You can scroll past! You can look at pictures of your favourite vessel and cleanse your brain!!!! I know I do!!!!!

And this is a last afterthought but - you don't get to complain about the fandom you're in if you're doing nothing to change that. I see many, maaaaany of you bitch about this and that, while having 0 engagement aside from the bitching. Like?? Maybe if you spent more time reblogging cool art or gifs and less time whining about literally everything, this would be a much more pleasant space!! And I DO get to be a little petty here because I sure do try my best to make this a fun and nice community. I am allowed a little bitching 😌

Anyways, tl/dr: don't be a dick; don't like - don't engage; keep an open mind; gaze upon the vessels. Peace and love yall 💙💫

[crybyemissamericanpie]

Hiding - Tony Stark x Fem!Reader (Fluff)

Hiding - Tony Stark x Fem!Reader (Fluff)

TW:Smoking,bit of Alcohol,Cursing

Tonys eye flicker through the big ballroom with the fanciest people to the fanciest food. The night was calm and cold,people talking while soft music played as white noise.The room filled with many different people,that you wouldnt usually see in one room,presidents,models,bussiness people and the list goes on.There was no lust or life to the party if we wanna put it that way or as Tony thought.He was tired of the people it was 12:13PM and the party started at 6:30PM,he has been walking from people to people,giving them the brightest smile,making sure that they were having fun.

He just sneaked out of a conversation with a guy with the excuse of going to the bathroom but he didnt needed to go there,so he immediately took the back door,not caring if the guy sees him.As he stepped outside,he closed the door behind him,it was quiet out here,though the music still could be heard in a muffled version.

His eyes almost immediately dart to the women,leaning on the fence,smoking a cigarette.He knew who it was,they were no strangers.He starts to walk over and lean on the fence next to her,waiting for her to say something,as he realizes that she wont he starts"pretty isnt it?"He said as he looked up at the dark sky,with a small smile in hopes with starting a conversation with her

She looks at Tony with a cold expression as after she blew the smoke out of her mouth,the smoke disappearing soon enough"What do you want?"She asks,Tony usually doesnt come to her so much cause of their history of being forced to be friends cause of their fathers,as they grew up and Tony father passed,theere was no reason to hang out anymore,since there was no one left to impress with their 'healthy bond'

"Quit that,y/n,i cant even look at you anymore?"Tony asks with a small smirk on his face as his gaze does not leave her.She rolls her eyes slightly taking a blunt again."Atleast can we chat?like i actually want to have something with you"Tony continuous as she blows the smoke out

She chuckles a little which caught Tony of a little,she turns her whole body to Tony,leaning on the fence with her hand which had the cigarette in it,the dress making clear lines of her beautiful curves,making out every part of her body,laying on her skin like it was painted on,a painting that would send Leonardo da Vinci home crying."Wierd way to say that you wanna fuck me then throw me away"She said,raising an eyebrow

Tony chuckled a bit but stayed quiet,he didnt really know what he wanted himself that much either."what cat got your tongue?"She teases,with a small smirk on her lips.His gaze still didnt leave y/n"Thats a gorgeous dress,by the way"Tony says,with a smile,speaking with a bit of a sass put into it

"thats all you got?"She asks,taking a blunt again,while raising an eyebrow again"yeah no…just the much talking with the people in there drained me"Tony admitted,shaking his head as he looked down at his foot"THE Tony Stark drained?Thats new!"She said with a small laugh.From her tone of voice and a bit of body language Tony could tell that she was a bit drunk herself

Tony looks up at y/n then a question pops into his mind"what are you doing out here anyway?"He asked tilting his head a bit to the side as he also furrowed his brows."Im hiding from a guy"She admits almost immediately,as she takes another blunt and then blows out a bit too quick,making her caught at the too much smoke in her lungs"That sounds familiar"He says,as he remembers that he is in the same boot as her,well kinda"Who is the guy?"He asks out of curiosity

"Some dude named Jared,he wants to dance with me even though i told him that i dont wanna dance with him"She says,bluntly,with an annoyed voice"and i got the feeling that he also wanted to sleep with me"She continues,looking up at the sky,then her eyes wall back to Tony"and do you wanna sleep with him?"Tony asks but also feeling the fact that he already knows the answer to that"No!Hes like super creepy"She says,furrowing her eyebrows"i told him in going to the bathroom like 30 minutes ago and im scared that he will found me"She says,taking a blunt from her cigarette then blowing the smoke out in the air in the other direction so it doesnt go into Tonys face,Tony turns around,to the Big glass double door to the ballroom,as he sees a guy in a red suit,looking around as walking closer to the door

"Is that him?"Tony asks from y/n as his gaze doesnt leave the guy,as he is getting closer to the door.Her head turns to the glass door and her eyes go widen,as she feels her heart miss a beat,it felt like she was a bit dramatic or was it the alcohol getting to her head?"YES"She says loudly,as she sees the guy notice her through the glass,geeting his hand on the door handle,she grabs Tonys suit jacket,making his hips touch the fence,as she quickly put her lips on his.

The kiss was more rushed,forced and quick and as Tony was surprised by the sudden action,he saw the guy open the glass door,so he grabbed her hips bringing their lips together for a more softer kiss,Tony could taste the cig from her lips,but it didnt stop him from going further of his tongue entering her mouth,and their tongue danced together in harmony,as y/n put her hands on the side of his face,trying to keep the cigarette away from his face to not burn him,melting in the kiss,both of them feeling their faces get a bit heated.

The guy looked at the scene disappointed and closed the door and went back to the party.

As she pulled away,Tony stayed in the same position,his eyes a bit widen,like he didnt know what he was doing"well we know whats gonna be in the news next"She said with a small smirk,as she knew that they both had a very big place in the media,Tony couldnt help but chuckle a little