#ily 212

[youuuimeanmee]

AYOOO THIS IS THE SUMMARY OF WHAT HAPPENED IN MINHYUK'S PARTY LMAO

Nol is leaving because he thought he's a bad guy, he doesn't deserve his friends and they're better off without him. He's wearing his personal hoodie, indicating it's the real Nolan.

Shinae is looking at Kousuke, searching for the answer of why Nol is leaving them, and wondered when he'll be back. There's a drap of Yeong-Gi's jacket on Shinae's shoulder, meaning Nol left behind his Yeong-Gi persona and it's a mean to protect her. It could also mean that this time, Shinae will become the "new Yeong-Gi" -- it's her time to be the hero Nol needs in his life.

Kousuke just saw Nol leaving, didn't even try to stop him. It's like he's saying, "That's right, keep walking you fool. Just stop befriending everyone, be depressed for all I care. Stop being so bright, stop being a hindrance to get me to Father."

Minhyuk is chatting with Shinae because she's the only person he's familiar with. He also has his back turned on Nol, unaware of Nol's turmoil. (Other interpretation; he's trying to distract Shinae so she won't be too hung up on Nol -- based on his expression towards Nol throughout the night, he's convinced(?) Nol was not a good friend for Shinae, since he brought too much trouble).

Dieter and Soushi, unfortunately, also has their back turned against Nol, blissfully unaware of what Nol is really going through (like, Soushi barely appeared when Nol first fell off the second floor, and Dieter was busy betting his money with Minhyuk). I'm not sure about Soushi's future -- whether he'll stay friends with Nol or not, but since on this pic Dieter doesn't have his back completely turned, it should be easy for him to turn his head, see how Nol is faring, and try to get him back.

It’s driving me absolutely bonkers that no one on Tumblr is talking about thiss

((Please repost to make a chain of theories or whatnot))

[trashlie]

I saw a theory about Mr. Kim being Kousuke's real father. Makes me want to throw up. And then I saw another comment on that thread how the real thing that would break Kou is realizing that Nol is no longer his brother.

And omg ew? Sang Chul would be??

And I'm never getting over Nol's plastered smile. The sneer. The humans suck line.

The "Convince Me" line.

Girl I'm going thru it.

You totally called it on the theories.

The WORST kind of "OH GOD I KNEW IT" weeks have been happening for me when it comes to ILY lmaoooo and I NEED QUIMCHEE TO GIVE ME A BREAK AND LET ME CATCH MY BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna drop my thoughts below the read more! Spoilers spoilers spoilers!!!!!!!!!!

When Elle and I talked about the "Rand isn't Kousuke's father" theory on the fourth episode of our podcast I even talked about how as much as I don't want the theory to be true for Kousuke's sake, narratively it's SO compelling and it just makes SO MUCH SENSE. I remember the first time I read the theory, too, how initially I was like "no way, this feels really out there" but it just stuck with me. I couldn't let it go, I kept going back to that panel, the "you're the sole heir" speech bubble over Nol's face and I think I've just always felt that it meant something, you know? That quimchee would NOT have done that if it didn't mean something, if we weren't supposed to read into it, if it wasn't meant to be the earliest of foreshadowing of this theory.

And to have it actually confirmed!!!!! Just has me SCREAMING but absolutely anticipating what it means for everyone!!!! Because not only does it mean everything Kousuke has ever worked for - the only thing he's ever had to his name, the only career option he's ever had - is taken away from him and thrust to someone who may not even want it, someone who wants to be as far away from this family and this coldblooded, bloodthirsty rivalry as he can get.

Neither of them get any reprieve.

Kousuke never had any other option, and is left with nothing.

Nol will likely be thrust into the heart of everything he wants to excuse himself from, everything he's come to resent and loathe and GOD it's insane to see how it's all unfolding, after all this time!!!!!!!!

I think, too, in thinking about the fact that Nol isn't even Kousuke's brother is that it means re-examining the rawness of 212 and what it means for Kousuke, who believes that he got none of the good traits of Rand that he sees in Nol, the good parts that he's never been privileged enough to see in Rand himself, and that he was left with only the worst parts of him - the cold man with his back turned to him. But it's worse, because none of that was his.

(Please know that I am saying this SO VERY LOOSELY, in the sense of how I imagine Kousuke is thinking this. I'm not a fan of the "Rand suspected Kousuke wasn't his son and that's why he was so cold with him" theories. Frankly, I think they're disgusting and it shows an interesting bias in people in how they perceive biological family to be more worthy over, say, adopted family. I think it's very evident that Rand loves both of his sons and has done the best within his means, but has been dealing with an incredibly controlling tyrant of a wife who has ensured that he had little chance to provide the nurturing he wanted to, who ensured that there was a gap between him and Kousuke so that Kousuke would be forever chasing after him, because she needed him to stay focused on her goal. I refuse to humor conversation that implies Rand loves or favors Nol more because that's his biological son and because Kousuke is, currently suspected to be, the son of a Kim, he has less love for him. That's a disgusting mindset. Biological love does not make someone inherently love their child more. Yui herself proves this. And in that same vein, not being Kousuke's biological father does not excuse Rand's part in Kousuke's neglect and that it was the commodification of his love that has factored into how Kousuke has come to view love in this transactional manner and why he struggles to see his father's true love for what it is. Regardless of whose genetic material fathered him, Rand is the man who raised Kousuke as his son, the man Kousuke saw as his father, and therefore he is Kousuke's father.)

Kousuke has modeled himself after his father in every way, tried so hard to emulate him, to be someone who will make his father proud, who can earn his affection and feels like he hasn't succeeded at that yet - and to find out that the man he has spent his entire life emulating is not, in fact, his father? Is going to CRUSH him. Not because it changes the fact that it was Rand who raised him and Rand to whom Kousuke looked up, but because it's yet another lie in a series of Yui's lies, yet another lie that she has used to manipulate him, to mold him into her pawn, to create him into a likeness of something of her own desire, rather than ever allow him to be his own person.

She lied to him about his father. She whispered paranoia to him about his brother his brother's mother. She made him believe that everyone is out to get them, to tear them down, that because they are better than everyone else he can trust no one. She used these tactics to isolate him and played upon the paranoia and fear that she created and instilled upon him so that when he did rebel and stray from her, when he did try to be his own person and have friends and a life of his own, she could pull him back to where she felt he belonged, at her side. She smothered and suffocated him and manipulated and lied to him and nothing she has done to or for him has ever been honest and even his father is a lie. Even his goals and motivation is a lie.

I know a lot of people still hate Kousuke but it fucks me up. It has me choked up, to think of what it must be like to be him, and to have this bombshell thrust upon you, that everything you believed has been a lie, that your mother has been manipulating you for your whole life, she's been drugging you, you have finally grasped the gravity of the harm you have caused using the justification she has equipped you with. To come to the realization that everything you ever justified was never truly justifiable, that you caused harm that cannot be undone.

How do you come back from that?

How do you deal with that?

And then, to find out that the man you've believed was your father isn't. That the only person who ever offered you unconditional love, whose relationship you've destroyed isn't even your brother, and has no reason to ever turn to look your way ever again.

Kousuke was right. He has no brother.

And it devastates me lmao ;____________;

And I do really think that it means his father is Gun Kim. All of the comparisons to Sangchul and Kousuke have haunted me as much as this theory.

BUT MAN IT'S JUST SO MUCH QUIMCHEE IS JUST OUT HERE WITH A BODY COUNT. MA'AM. SLOW DOWN I CAN'T KEEP UP. Nol is on a warpath and I need him to CHILL.

Actually no you know what was the FUNNIEST thing to me about Nol and his humans suck line? THE FACT THAT MY GIRL SHINAE IS OUT HERE BLUSHING.

GIRL. /GIRL/

She is DOWN BAD. SO FUCKING BAD. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i can't stand her I love her she's a whole hot mess express I really need to gather myself and drop some thought dump posts over here finally because generally my reaction to all of these episodes lately has been [SCREAMING CAT]

i'm two for two on "dark theories i didn't want to be true but knew in my gut are" and listen. I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE IT ;_______; HOWLING

[lovebvni]

hi abyss

my name is malak and i wanna know what i need to hear rn <3

if u don't wanna answer that's fine ily ♥

Hello, Malak. Your name literally means angel, and I love that. Goldwing by Billie Eilish comes to mind, for more reasons than one.

Messages You Need To Hear Right Now

“Manipulation”

The first word that came through. Someone, a masculine figure, is manipulating you and controlling you. I turned on my shufflemancy and “Producer Man” by Lyn Lapid came on. That, paired with the song Goldwing by Billie Eilish coming on is making me think you’re too open for your own good. You willingly let people in your life and let them tamper with your energy. Draining you, making you feel like shit.

You may be in the acting/singing industry, as both of these songs are about a man making an offer to a younger girl for their own gain. It could also be changing yourself for the material or for the male gaze. I see this could also apply to a relationship. [This ‘man’ could just be a masculine energy, someone who gets what they want and doesn’t care about anyone else. So, gender doesn’t matter here. Excuse me saying “he” or “this man” or anything similar throughout this reading if it applies to a woman.]

In the beginning, it started off good. It seemed like things were looking up, but it was short lived. You soon started (consciously or unconsciously) changing yourself for this male. I’m sorry to say, he never truly, deeply cared about you. Maybe for a brief moment he did, but it was based off looks or personality. He didn’t want you as a person, he didn’t want commitment, he just wanted something to ‘show off’. 212 also keeps coming up.

The manipulation is keeping you with him. I suggest for you to slowly remove your energy from him, then physically remove yourself from him. Don’t let him keep you. And if you do let him keep some of your energy, you have to detach yourself from him. “I do this for myself, not for other beings” is the affirmation I heard. Try saying it at least 10 times a day. Let it sink in, and let that reflect on the outside.

“I’m gonna be the bad guy”

I feel like this is the new energy stepping in. 4:44 as of typing this) The new you. I feel like you’re almost relevant to step into the energy. You don’t want to be a “bad guy”, but you kind of need to. You need to own yourself and your life [Nicki Minaj’s Chun-Li + a hell of a lot of orange]. It’s okay to be seen as the bad guy for a season if you’re bettering yourself.

Don’t get it twisted, this isn’t the universe saying go be a bitch to everyone you’re leaving; rather its saying to own your life and not let anyone get in the way of trying to take it back.

I love you, angel, and I hope you can let go of this horrible person easily.

As someone who’s been in multiple toxic relationships, it is easy to go back, but do the hard thing. Let go. And don’t let them lead you back.

[24hlevi]

JJK CHAP 212 SPOILERS!!!

the way my heart sank after seeing this megumi ily yuuji ily gege I HATE YOU BITCH GIVE ME MEGUMI BACK

[fitimiljazirealestate]

📣SHITET PARCELA - AFËR RESTORANTIT “PARAJSA E SHARRIT”

📱075 212 111

070 588 658

📢 SUPER LOKACION

☑️ AFËR RRUGËS KRYESORE

☑️ KA UJË

☑️ RYMA DERI TEK OBJEKTI PËRBALLË

☑️ KA RRUGEN E VET TË DOKUMENTUAR

Na vizitoni - zyra FIREA afer gjyqit

📣 SE PRODAVA

📢 PLAC VO TETOVO - PAT KON “POPOVA ŠAPKA”

☑️ SUPER LOKACIJA

☑️ IMA ULICA

☑️ VODA

📱075 212 111

070 588 658

ili vo naša Kancelarija Fitim Iljazi Real Estate (Blizu Sud)

#patundshmeri #paluajtshmëri #shitet #realestate #tetove #parcele

[zoranphoto]

Velika globalna akcija protiv trgovanja ljudima: 212 uhićenih i 244 novih istraga

U operaciji Globalni lanac, održanoj u svibnju u 44 zemlje, uhićeno je 212 osoba i identificirano 1426 potencijalnih žrtava trgovine ljudima u svrhu seksualnog iskorištavanja, prisilnog prosjačenja i kriminala, a pokrenuto je 244 novih istraga, izvijestilo je Ravnateljstvo policije.     Glavni ciljevi operacije, ističe policija, bili su identificirati, zaštititi i uputiti žrtve i potencijalne žrtve trgovanja ljudima za pomoć, dok su konkretne akcije usmjerene na razbijanje kriminalnih mreža koje potencijalno iskorištavaju žrtve podrijetlom iz Južne Amerike, Azije, Afrike, zapadnog Balkana i Ukrajine. Policija je priopćila da su vlasti zemalja uključenih u akciju bile prisutne na graničnim prijelazima i glavnim prometnim čvorištima kako bi identificirale potencijalne žrtve i osumnjičenika, a zemlje su prilagodile svoje operativne aktivnosti vrstama trgovine ljudima koje prevladavaju u njihovim regijama. Ukupno su nadzirana 8644 leta, a aktivno su nadzirana 3984 granična prijelaza u 25 država članica EU i 19 država izvan EU, ističe policija dodajući da je 130.000 službenika diljem svijeta provjerilo 1,6 milijuna ljudi, 25.400 lokacija, 153.300 vozila i 72.850 dokumenata.     Između ostalih, istražitelji su u Švedskoj identificirali pet maloljetnih dje��aka u društvu 19-godišnjaka koji je nadgledao njihovo prosjačenje, dok je u Srbiji uhićeno šest osoba osumnjičenih za seksualno iskorištavanje 10 žena, a jedan osumnjičenik za iskorištavanje jedne žene u vidu prosjačenja i prisiljavanja na kriminal.

Suradnja Frontexa, Europola i Interpola

Ravnateljstvo policije dodaje da su rumunjske vlasti provele 19 pretraga kuća i uhitile četiri osobe osumnjičene za radno iskorištavanje najmanje osam žrtava, dok je u Sjevernoj Makedoniji uhićeno 11 osoba koje se sumnjiče za seksualno iskorištavanje maloljetnika i trgovinu ljudima. U Kolumbiji je identificirano 27 žrtava seksualnog iskorištavanja, a sedam osumnjičenih je uhićeno. Opsežna operacija Globalni lanac planirana je na sastanku čiji je domaćin bio Frontex, koordinirane su iz Interpolovog centra, dok je Europol omogućio razmjenu informacija i 24-satnu operativnu analitičku podršku. Maloljetnicima se trguje radi seksualnog i radnog iskorištavanja te radi prosjačenja ili krijumčarenja ilegalne robe i sitnog kriminala. Upozorava i da se trgovina djecom i nadalje u velikoj mjeri nedovoljno prijavljuje te da unutar EU-a djecom uglavnom trguju njihovi rođaci. Policija precizira da ove zločinačke organizacije, povezane velikim mrežama klanova, djeluju u nekoliko zemalja i premještaju djecu preko granica, kao i da maloljetnici iz zemalja izvan EU-a mogu postati žrtve trgovaca ljudima koji surađuju s osobama koje prate djecu, pretvarajući se da su njihovi rođaci ili zakonski skrbnici. Tportal.hr Read the full article

[antalyamemurlarcom]

Bakan Koca, Deprem Bölgesinde Son Durumu Değerlendirdi

Sağlık Bakanı Dr. Fahrettin Koca, Milli Savunma Bakanı Hulusi Akar ile merkez üssü Kahramanmaraş’ın Pazarcık ve Elbistan ilçeleri olan ve 10 ili etkileyen depremlerin ardından arama kurtarma çalışmalarının sürdüğü Hatay’daki Acil Durum Koordinasyon Merkezi’nde açıklamalarda bulundu. Arama-kurtarma ve enkaz kaldırma çalışmaları devam ettikçe tablonun vahametinin de büyüdüğünü aktaran Bakan Koca, bu acıyı tarif etmenin mümkün olmadığını dile getirdi. Bakan Koca, son duruma ilişkin şu bilgileri paylaştı: “Kahramanmaraş, 4 bin 879 vefat, 9 bin 243 yaralı. Gaziantep, 2 bin 141 vefat, 11 bin 563 yaralı. Şanlıurfa, 304 vefat, 4 bin 663 yaralı. Diyarbakır, 212 vefat, 899 yaralı. Adana, 408 vefat, 7 bin 450 yaralı. Adıyaman, 3 bin 105 vefat, 11 bin 778 yaralı. Malatya, 289 vefat, 7 bin 300 yaralı. Osmaniye, 878 vefat, 2 bin 224 yaralı. Hatay, 5 bin 111 vefat, 15 bin 613 yaralı. Kilis, 74 vefat, 754 yaralı. Elazığ, 5 vefat, 379 yaralı olmak üzere an itibarıyla toplam 17 bin 406 vatandaşımız hayatını kaybetti, 71 bin 866 vatandaşımız yaralandı.” “Sağlık Bakanlığı tüm olanaklarıyla gece gündüz çalışmaya devam ediyor” Sağlık Bakanlığının tüm insan gücü ve alt yapı olanaklarıyla yaralıların tahliyesi ve tedavisi için gece gündüz çalışmaya devam ettiğini vurgulayan Koca, “Depremden etkilenen her ilimizde sağlık hizmetlerinin sürdürülmesi için diğer illerin yöneticilerinden bir koordinasyon başkanı ve iki başkan yardımcısı tespit ettik. Koordinasyonu yöneticilerimizle sağlıyoruz” ifadesini kullandı. Bakan Koca, Türkiye’nin dört bir yanında deprem bölgesine sevk edilen ekipler ve bölgedeki mevcut kapasiteyle birlikte şu an afet bölgesinde toplam 2 bin 101 ambulans, 296 UMKE aracı, 5 uçak ambulans, 7 helikopter ambulans ve 14 bin 429 acil sağlık personelinin görev yaptığını bildirdi. Bölgeye diğer illerden 1859 tabip ve uzman tabip ile 6 bin 841 sağlık ve destek personelinin de geldiğini söyleyen Koca, “Dolayısıyla 10 ildeki sağlık tesislerimizde ilave olarak 17 bin 929’u hekim ve 111 bin 486’sı sağlık personeli olmak üzere 143 bin 829 personelimiz hizmet veriyor” diye konuştu. Hava ambulanslarıyla yapılan sevkler Sağlık Bakanı Koca, şu ana kadar afet bölgelerinde ilk müdahaleleri tamamlanan yaralı vatandaşlardan tedavisi ilgili bölgede tamamlanamayacak olanları hava ambulanslarıyla sevk ettiklerine işaret ederek, şunları kaydetti: “Yaralılarımızdan hava ambulanslarıyla 1500’e yakın, kara ambulanslarımızla 13 bin 370, Milli Savunma Bakanlığımızın TCG İskenderun gemisiyle ise 3 seferde 327 yaralımızın ve yakınlarının naklini sağladık. Tüm bölgede 77 acil müdahale ünitesi ve sahra çadırı kurduk. Bölgeye şu ana kadar 3 uçak, 1 helikopter, 76 tır, 39 kamyon, 38 araç dolusu ilaç ve tıbbi malzeme teslim edildi. 17 tır, 15 ambulans, 12 kamyon, 25 araç, 1 minibüs dolusu ilaç ve tıbbi malzeme ise ulaşmak üzere.” “Tüm imkanları afetten zarar gören halkımızın hizmetine sunmakta kararlıyız” Bakan Koca, görev yapan tüm sağlık çalışanlarının ihtiyaçlarını karşılamak üzere seyyar çadırlar ve mutfaklar kurulduğunu, bölgede sağlıkla ilgili tüm talepleri karşılama çabasında olduklarını söyledi. Vatandaşların deprem sonrası hastanelerde tedavi gören birinci ve ikinci derece yakınlarının bilgilerine e-Nabız uygulaması üzerinden ulaşabileceğini anımsatan Koca, ayrıca il sağlık müdürlüklerinin bilgilendirme hatlarından da bilgi alınabileceğini ifade etti. “Tır ve konteyner eczanelerin sayılarını hızla arttıracağız” Bakan Koca, yaralılar için psikolojik desteğin de başlatıldığını belirterek, kimliksiz hastaların kimlik tespitini yapmak ve yakınlarına ulaşmak için ekiplerin kurulduğunu söyledi. Koca, ��Kronik hastalığı olan depremzedelerimiz raporlu ilaçlarını eczanelerden ücretsiz temin edebilirler. 5 ilde farklı noktalarda kurulan tır ve konteyner eczaneler hizmete başladı ve sayılarını hızla arttırıyor olacağız. Vatandaşlarımız ihtiyaç duyduğu ilaçları Sahra Hastanelerimizden de temin edebilecekler” açıklamasında bulundu. Koca, acil hastalar için 5 sahra hastanesi ünitesi kurulduğunu, ayrıca tam teşekküllü ameliyatların da yapılabildiği sahra hastanesinin hizmet verdiğini, kısmen hasarlı olan Altınözü Hastanesinde acil hastalar için sahra hastanesinin bulunduğunu, riskli hastaların hızla sevk edildiğini dile getirdi. Read the full article

[zanimljivaekonomija]

Održana tradicionalna manifestacija “Ulica otvorenog srca”

Danas je u centru Beograda, u Svetogorskoj i Makedonskoj ulici, održana tradicionalna manifestacija “Ulica otvorenog srca”, koja je ponovo izmamila na hiljade ljudi da je posete i uživaju u pripremljenim sadržajima. Zvanični program je počeo u 12 sati ispred Ateljea 212 čiji su glumci još pre pola veka družeći se svakog prvog dana nove godine u “Srpskoj kafani” dali ideju Turističkoj organizaciji Beograda(TOB) da osmisli “Ulicu otvorenog srca”. Kako je pre nekoliko dana rekao Miodrag Popović, direktor TOB-a, “dok ostatak sveta spava, posle dočeka Nove godine, samo Beograđani od prepodne pa dok ne padne mrak pokazuju koliko ima optimizma i sa koliko humanosti i empatije dočekuju Novu godinu i njen prvi dan”. Beograđani su i danas uživali u tradicionalnoj šetnji, pozdravljali se i čestitali jedni drugima novu 2023. godinu, razgledali izložbene štandove, gledali muzički program ispred Ateljea 212 u kome su nastupali poznati i manje poznati izvođači. Bilo je i drugih aktivnosti posebno za najmlađe koje su organizovali Gradska opština Stari grad i Ministarstvo unutrašnjih poslova. Na štandovima se moglo videti i kupiti svega i svačega, od šarenih balona, kuvanog vina i rakije, zimske odeće, meda i kolača, raznih bombona i lizalica, kokica i šećerne vune, pa sve do crvene tucane paprike ili sapuna od magarećeg mleka. Svoju humanu misiju manifestacija je ispunila i ovaj put prodajom „crvenih noseva“, a prihod će „Doktori klovnovi“ iskoristiti za svoje humanitarne akcije.

Tekst i foto: M.Karan

[trashlie]

ILY FP 210, 211, 212

WOOOOOOOF I’ve been holding off on writing this post, because I wanted to wait for this whole “episode” to fully come out. Quimchee revealed they were all meant to happen in one episode, but SO MUCH was happening in the episode that it was too long to do as the one. I... kind of wish I hadn’t waited because now there is SO MUCH for me to cover, so I’m going to do my best to keep this organized and coherent.

No lie, these go up there in my top episodes, especially 212. I have a feeling I might have some different feelings than others on this one...? We’ll see, I’m keen to hear how all of you are thinking and feeling about it. To me, these episodes really encapsulate a good 80% of the plot that we’ve been dealing with, and there’s some good reveals in here that have been a LONG time coming. I think everything is set up now for the time skip to come, and especially after all the events that transpired this arc (remember how this all started out so many moons ago with Nol going to the company Christmas party? That feels like it was years ago to what is happening now!) I am BEYOND excited to see what the time skips have in store for us! 

Anyway, before I start spoiling things, let’s get into it!

Well and truly, I love this arc! It’s really capture so much of the story this bigger story has centered on - the relationship between Nol and Kousuke. This isn’t the root of the story, of course, but it’s a significant portion of what we’ve come to read for, I think, and I cannot tell you how much I love seeing the characters verbally acknowledge things they’ve swept under a rug. 

212 felt especially raw to me - Kousuke’s confessions are tragic in the way of too little too late, and the realization that Nol was never against him, that he was always on the same side, that they could have been an incredible team may come to haunt him. That acknowledgement of his that nobody really liked him - no one else but the one person he had demeaned and devalued until he was truly nobody - really hit me like a sucker punch. I truly thought these were truths Kousuke wouldn’t be able to reach until he lost more, like his job or his sense of self, but I guess we can argue that he’s lost a lot of his sense of self; from the moment he punched Nol, it’s clear that he’s dissociating. That also serves to tell us how important this moment is for Kousuke, what it means to him, what Nol means to him.

Now, I’ll be upright honest with you guys, because I think this is where the difference of opinions will come in. I really enjoy stories with this kind of element of hatred and care so intricately interlaced in family or friends. There’s something about this sense of care being overwritten by jealousy so scathing it mutates into resentment and hatred and loathing. The way these two feelings battle out, the way ugly emotions are so strong they come to eclipse any hope for warmth. Idk it’s intriguing to me, it creates a compelling story. 

And in Kousuke’s case, it is! A running theory has been that Kousuke treats Shinae the way he does because he is, subconsciously, treating her how he wishes he’d treated Nol. As the story went on and Kousuke’s ugliness started to come out more and more and his paranoia began to consume him, I think it was probably difficult for many to find credence in this theory - that there was no way Kousuke could have cared about Nol and transferred it to Shinae when he treated Nol how he did but I’m still here for the theory. It’s just that Kousuke’s ugliness was so strong, overwhelming, it eclipsed anything else. 

Now I’m not saying I think Kousuke loves Nol or thinks of him as a brother, but rather I think deep down, he understood they were connected. As a child, Nol was the only person who didn’t treat Kousuke like an object - like a puppet or rich vending machine or influence to be gained. But how could Kousuke allow himself to think so favorably of Nol when he was so deeply rooted in jealousy? 

This is what I find especially intriguing about their dynamic. Something I talk about a lot is that Nol and Kousuke are both the products of abuse - Kousuke is the way he is due to neglect and manipulation, and in turn he took that out on Nol. I’ve seen people say Kousuke doesn’t make sense to them, but he DOES and this episode really drove that home and confirmed a lot of things I’d felt. 

Kousuke’s treatment of Nol all stems from Rand and his affair. Let’s look at it from Kousuke’s perspective. He has a father who is never around, and when he is he’s busy and always puts his career first. He rarely joins them for family time, there’s a rift between him and his wife. All young Kousuke wants is for his father to spend time with him, to be around, to notice him. His mother tells him things - if he’s a good boy Father will pay attention; if he wants his father’s attention he needs to be just like him; if he wants Father to care to notice he must be exactly like him. But his mother also says other thing - that there’s someone else, money is being wired to someone. At school people murmur similar things. 

All he wants is his father’s approval, his father’s pride, his father’s attention, his father’s time. He must not be good enough, yet. He must not matter, yet. He’ll make sure he does, though. He’ll do exactly what his mother says, he’ll buckle down just like she tells him, he’ll make sure to become the perfect son that his father can be proud of. 

So you can understand, then, why the discovery that the murmurs are true, that there’s another family, would shatter him the way it did, why it remains a point of breaking for him even as an adult, why he never really reconciles his father’s affair. How is it that the man who has no time for him or their family, had enough time to create a second family? Why was he so undeserving of his time? Why was he so undeserving of his attention? 

And it rooted deep inside him, right in the core of his foundation. This other boy who describes his father as someone who couldn’t possibly be the same man as his father - a funny man, a kind man. That is not the father Kousuke knows, so why does this other child know him? (Never mind that this child has also never met that version of his father.) It all stems from that: a craving for something he’s never received. 

Kousuke’s whole speech about how there was only one kind, sweet, generous, funny person in his life was the very person he attacked and tore down hit me HARD. His admission of fear, that he ACTUALLY ADMITTED TO BEING SCARED, that he’ll never be good enough for Rand, that nothing he would ever do would make him worthy of his attention actually hurt. This is the kind of thing I’ve been wanting Kousuke to acknowledge and embrace, because it’s the one thing that has been fueling and propelling him. He doesn’t do this job because he’s passionate about it - he does it because he’s still vying for love and attention. He didn’t forsake his childhood because he was above it - he literally sacrificed it for his father. Regardless of what you think about Kousuke now, it has to be acknowledged that he, too, has suffered. And let’s not pretend that Yui truly believed that Kousuke could win Rand’s affection this way - it still feels like it was a game for her, a manipulation to turn him into someone she could use to get her way, a puppet if you will. It’s fucking sad to think that he gave up everything because he was so determined to earn his father’s love, that his love and attention was believed to be so conditional he had to make himself worthy of it. 

“I hate you for making me aware this person exists. And I hate your face being a constant reminder of it.” 

So many times, Kousuke has berated Nol for his playful, joking behavior, for seeming so lax and carefree. I’d always thought it was jealousy that he didn’t have that kind of life, that he wasn’t allowed it - and that probably is still a part of it - but now we know that when Yeonggi laughed and played around, he was a vision of a version of Rand Kousuke had never known, a spitting image of a man Kousuke didn’t even know could exist. 

And as Nol points out, it was all for naught. All of Kousuke’s jealousy and his fear, tearing down Nol so that he could instead get to know that version of Rand. All of it was for naught, because who knows if that man even exists? It seems like only one person ever knew her, and who’s to know if she didn’t make him up. Kousuke has spent his entire life - sacrificed his childhood, accelerated himself through school, forsook any fun or leisure - on a quest for a man who probably doesn’t exist, for something he’ll never achieve. He spent his whole life tearing down someone innocent trying to get to something he’ll never have. 

I really thought it would take for Kousuke to lose it all, to stumble in his career before he’d realize it, but here he is. 

But on the other side of that, we have Nol. Nol, who also lost - and lost more than Kousuke did. Nol who was isolated and alienated, Nol who tried time and time again to reach out and create a connection, and was refused every time. Nol who suffered under Kousuke and Yui’s watch over and over. Nol, who despite it all, still tried to treat Kousuke well, still tried to give him a chance, still tried to reach out to him at his most desperate. 

I think that really illustrates something important: an understanding that there is a reason for Kousuke’s behavior and his paranoia, where it comes from, but that reason doesn’t justify. I can acknowledge both that Kousuke absolutely is the product of his environment and that he has been an asshole about it lol. Idk I can admit that my intrigue in his has grown a LOT. 

These episodes have just tapped into something so deep that I love about this series - that our experiences heavily color our interpersonal relationships, as well as our relationships with our own selves. Nol notes that he, too, suffered, he, too, lost, he has been alone and alienated and despite it all he still tried, and he still attempted to be a good person, in contrast to Kousuke who let his suffering turn him into an asshole. It was kind of a hard-to-read moment, because Nol spoke the truth, and as much as I feel for Kousuke, Nol is right. Because he never attempted to deal with those ugly feelings, because he never chose to face them, because he instead wore them as armor, it became his identity, he became an asshole through those experiences. Had there ever been a moment that he could have met Nol in the middle, that he could have put aside his jealousy, that he could have turned off his Rand blinders, he could have seen what Nol was able to see earlier and more clearly. And isn’t that sad? They could have been a great team, they could have had each others’ back in a world where no one else did, they could have been there for each other, but Kousuke couldn’t cross that line. 

Again, I fully acknowledge that Kousuke is the way he is because of those experiences. I acknowledge that this is the wake up call he needed, that he was forced to finally reckon with the truth. 

But I also worry what will come of Kousuke as a result of Rand’s arrival. Is he going to backpedal? Is this going to short-circuit something and push him to double down, or is it going to free him? 

Kousuke has spent his entire life trying to earn Rand’s favor, to earn his attention. Everything he has done has been an angle to get closer to his father. Like, when you break it all down, that’s the sad, basic truth. He was a child who so desperately wanted his father’s attention that his life became about that. And here comes Rand, showing up when it looks like Kousuke is running away. Rand who never had time for him, Rand who didn’t shower him with warmth and affection. 

Rand who showed up and wailed “My son” in response to Nol. 

That whole scene honestly hurts me. Nol is hurt, Rand is anguished and horrified, and Kousuke? Kousuke finally witnessing his father show a fatherly side - and it wasn’t for him. And not only that but Rand might not even believe that Kousuke was trying to get help, that he attempted to get Nol up but couldn’t. And does it even matter when the truth is that Kousuke DID cause this? I can’t imagine it was his intention - I don’t think his mind went “punch Nol and he’ll fall over the railing” as much as Nol tried to leave and Kousuke reacted on that. But the point still stands: even if it wasn’t his intention, this is still ultimately his fault. Nol goaded him on and played a part, but Kousuke was the hand that acted. 

I fear that this will ruin what little relationship Kousuke has with Rand - and it’s a fear because it means Kousuke could swing in two wholly opposite directions. Does he double-down and return to the side of his mother, the only family member who has made him feel like someone’s child? I don’t think he’s at the point where he can extricate himself from the family, as good as it would be. And I worry that if that’s the case, will he double back down on his treatment and resentment of Nol? For this one moment, he saw that they were equals, that they both had a broken, shitty relationship with Rand. And then Rand showed up, showing that paternal side Kousuke has longed for. 

As much as I WANT Kousuke to hold on to that moment, I don’t know that he can. I think the cracks have formed and I think his fragile reality is crumbling faster, but I fear he’ll retreat back into the “comfort” of the world he knows. 

Here’s the thing about Kousuke: on some level he knows. He knows that Yui isn’t great, he knows that she has done awful things, he knows that Nol did no wrong, he knows that Rand will probably never change. But these are such uncomfortable truths and he has spent his life propped up by a false reality. This was pointed out by AugmentedElle on reddit, but look at the difference in Kousuke’s flashbacks. Look at the memory in 210 vs 212. The flashback in 210 is the strongest, most vibrant memory we’ve yet seen. Ordinarily they’re in some kind of grey scale, or at least muted colors, sometimes with spot color like in Shinae’s. In Nol and Kousuke’s flashbacks thus far, we’ve seen those muted colors or alterations - Nessa’s face appearing scribbled out in Kousuke’s memories, just as in 212. The use of color suggests that the memory in 210 is, quite possibly, fabricated. It starts out with Kousuke dazed, unable to remember what just happened, and Yui comes in and tells him he won’t have to see that boy for a long time. It feels like something happened - that perhaps Kousuke did something (the huffing that parallels his huffing after he punches Nol in the current story) and blocked it out or whited out and Yui came in and gave him an iteration of the story. It’s the strongest memory because it didn’t come from him - because it was filled in and colored in by someone else. The whole time we’ve thought Nol had perhaps been pushed to the bring, that Kousuke instigated a fight and Nol snapped, but maybe it was never Nol. Maybe the whole time Kousuke has associated Nol with danger and violence - because he was wired to think that way. That whatever happened and lead to that moment was so traumatic he doesn’t have the real memory, and instead carries a fabrication. 

And that is essentially the basis of Kousuke’s entire life. Regardless of intent, Yui does manipulate Kousuke. She says things knowing full-well the effect they’ll have. Consider that moment with Nol and Nessa vs Yui in Kousuke’s flashback in 212. He watches Nessa blow raspberries on Nol’s cheek, a warm and silly exchange full of so much love and care - and then he looks up at Yui, who wears her maternal mask, shadows falling eerie over her face. Doesn’t it feel so much like she set this up? Doesn’t it feel like she knew Nessa and Nol would be around? She fills his head with things like “the only way to get your father’s attention is to be just like him” and “we’re not like other families we’re so special” and “isn’t it just so wonderful that rand at least has enough time to eat with us”? That’s not vouching for Rand - that’s passive aggression towards Rand and creating an idea of who Rand is - that Rand unwittingly lives up to. Despite speaking of the affair in front Kousuke, she turns and tells him that “Your father values us too much, he would never do such a thing” - a blatant lie that only plays into that feeling Kousuke wears that he’s been cheated, that there exists a version of his father that has been denied to him. Nessa tells Nol that Rand was a kind, sweet, generous, funny man. Yui tells Kousuke that Rand is anything but funny and he has no time for jokes. Maybe both are true, but Nol’s unintentionally makes a point about how Yui speaks of Kousuke’s father, vs how Yui spoke of Nol’s father. Why would a parent speak ill of the other parent -- if not to make the child see them that way. 

(She also tells him there’s nothing she hates more than people who don’t take things seriously, and well, look at how Kousuke came out.) 

There’s a fragile cognitive dissonance between what Kousuke knows to be true - that is, the reality that has been shaped by his experiences and Yui’s manipulation - vs actual reality, and we’ve seen this a number of times when various events threaten that tentative balance. Kousuke at the club, angry and paranoid, is aware of what people really think of him. Deep down he knows people don’t see him as great, as an honorable gentleman. Deep down he knows he’s a selfish, judgmental asshole, but it doesn’t fit the fabricated reality he believes in, so it only comes out in his paranoia. He knows that Nol is like him, that he didn’t have the love Kousuke coveted, that he tried to get by quietly, but Kousuke’s fear and paranoia still thought of him as the boy who had earned the love that Kousuke couldn’t, and that made him a threat. He knows what kind of person Yui is and has tried to draw boundaries, but he’s still told her things about Nol that she could act on, because he knows what she is capable of. When people or events fracture that reality, he struggles and lashes out, because he needs that reality to keep it together, but it’s crumbling fast. 

Between the phone call with Rand and the moment that Rand shows up on the scene - what is the state of Kousuke’s reality? Is it crumbling? Is he trying to stuff the crumbling rocks back into the foundation? Will he retreat to his mother, the only one who can keep the tint of his rose colored glasses or will he be forced to face reality for what it really is? I wish it would be the latter, but I just don’t know if he’s ready for it yet. I don’t know if he can face that which he’s run from this whole time just yet. 

As for Nol, woooooooof. What a fucking NIGHT. To think - THIS IS HIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY. On the one hand, I think, maybe this can give him some kind of peace. He’s finally gotten a piece of Kousuke’s mind, he finally knows how Kousuke sees him, what he thinks of him, and what motivated him all these years. Maybe with this knowledge, Nol will be able to walk away in peace. He doesn’t have to wonder anymore. He knows where he stands - and where he’s always stood - and I think he’s made it clear that he’s drawn his line. He is done, he is finished, with all of them. If Kousuke can find his way to the other side of the line, then good for him, but Nol has no intention of trying to bring him over anymore. 

I do think there’s a lot of room for them to reconcile in the future - when Nol’s raw anger has maybe ebbed, when Kousuke has found himself and learned to stand on his own ground, rather than prop himself up by his fabricated reality. But they are far from there. I’ve said before that I had a feeling maybe we’ll see the three main characters reunite in the time skip as adults after having gone separate ways, and that feeling still lingers. Nol has made it clear that he still wants to get away - and frankly I think he needs to. I wish he’d say so much to his friends, I wish he’d tell them where they stand. I feel so bad for Shinae, who went through so much grief and angst and really put herself out there to bring him back, to get her closure - and then when she had it and was ready to let him go, he insisted on staying. For him to turn around and leave like that again, after everything she told him, after the ways she opened up to herself, god that must hurt a lot. I guess on the one hand, she got the closure she wanted but.... it wasn’t even that long ago that Nol was making jabs at Kousuke for abandoning his friends, and there he goes doing it a SECOND time. 

There’s a piece I’d love to give more time and thought to - that maybe all along, on a deep, subconscious level, Kousuke feared Nol leaving and that’s why he’s always acted when Nol was on the leave. If Nol leaves he’ll be truly alone. If Nol goes, there is truly no one left who ever liked him, who ever saw any value in him. This post is already long enough, so I’ll try to spit that out later this week, if I can. I think it’s not a coincidence that Kousuke punched Nol as he was leaving, that he didn’t bring himself to do it when Nol promised he’d leave, just as he let Yui know Nol was planning to leave. Maybe he doesn’t recognize it yet, but I think Kousuke is terrified of being left alone and Nol escaping without him. 

Like I said, more on that later, but it’s an important point that I think ties in really well with this relationship Kousuke has towards Nol. It’s complicated, fucked up, toxic, and messy, and it needs a LOT of untangling by professional help. But I do think these last episodes really set something up for Nol and Kousuke’s future - as much as there is so much resentment and anger between them, there’s a mutual sense of longing, of needing each other to fill a void: for Nol, he sought out a brother in Kousuke, a companion against the adults in their lives; for Kousuke, that knowledge that Nol, too, had suffered that neglect, and was the only person who had ever truly liked him. I think one day when that anger has died, when they’ve made peace and hopefully worked on themselves, when Kousuke has freed himself, I think there’s a chance they will be able to reconcile. Like I said, maybe they’ll never be family to each other; there’s so much damage there, it’s really possible that can never be undone. But I think at some point, at least, they will see themselves on the same side, rather than each other. 

[stand-up-and-screamo]

🧡Thankyou for 212 followers!🧡

I love you all so much <333

[toaster-fire-art]

Here's the alternate version as promised :') The original and arguably better version is here

I'll be honest ch 212 is one of my favorites at least of the ones that have ruined me.

[un-flirt]

PROJECT: PASSION contains: ynhoon banter (what’s new?)

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212 words

monday was almost peaceful. yet another day pasted in which sunghoon was nowhere to be found.

that is, until you walked into art. you were greeted by none other than park sunghoon himself. where was chaehyun when you needed her?

“well well well what do we have here?”

“why are you still here?”

“i thought we already went over this.. i go here now babe.” he said with a sly smirk. god did you want to smack that stupid smile off his face.

“oh by the way, we have a project. and i may or may not have told mr. choy that we’d be partners-“

“WHAT?” see you knew sunghoon was an asshole, but you didn’t think that he was evil. art was like the only thing that mattered to you after dropping figure skating (DUE TO HIM!!) and now he was gonna ruin art for you too?

“i know what your thinking-“

“oh really? what am i thinking then huh park?”

“you think im gonna sabotage this project for you.” damn. spot on.

“well are you not?”

“no of course not. look at the prompt.” with that he stepped aside. allowing you access to the board. there it was in big bold letters. project: passion.

“that’s it? that’s the prompt?”

“mhm.”

a/n: RIVALS IS BACK!!! i told u so. i have a few chapters lined up for the next couple of days so please look forward to it!! thank u for being patient ily all <3

taglist (open!): @nvertheless @enhacolor @c9tnoos @jungwonize @diestheticu @certainyouthpeanut @luvrseung @love-4-kuem @solxrssun @enhasengene @hseungi

bolded means i can’t tag :(

[annonymannonym]

Thanks @lot-bubbel 💛 to give you random information about me

Nicknames: aly?

Zodiac: pisces

Height: 1.63m

Last thing I googled: some news about a possible second lockdown in my city...that just sucks...imagine how tired i am :’)

Song stuck in my head: Noir - Yseult ( yeah idk that just says it all )

Number of followers: 212😳ily all💕 ( i swear i bloked every single pornblog lmao )

Lucky number: 7

Favorite song (at the moment): With you by Tudor Monroe

Aesthetic:[blog] honestly idk , you tell me?! jk ofc Robbe 💕😌 and art ? but robbe=art soow lol what’s dis I’m not good at these stuff cuz i’m a mess if you didn’t tell already...

Dream job: -

Favorite author: all the amazing talented sobbe fanfic writers, loveyou and thankyou and blessyou 💕

Animal noise: -

Random: I just brought today some new fairy lights and my life is complete hihi.... but now i can't stop thinking at robbe with those fairy lights around him 🥺 ( i think i’ll sleep very well tonight 😌✨ )

Tagg: @nyttvera @robinscurls @remy3010 @skam-wtfock-sobbe @jensrolt @mrijzermans @dagcutie @embeddedinmybrain @starual18 @happilyinsane @undcrthesun only if you want💕

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[shadedrose01]

there were so many to choose from i don’t knowww these were the ones i thought were interesting, you don’t have answer all of them, but here you go😘❤ 9, 12, 18, 63, 75, 86, 108, 186, 212 & 213

I will answer a l l of them, because I can (and because ily 🥰🥰)

9-What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?

Uhhh i honestly don't know. Maybe get a job? That would be nice 😂. I can also be Angsty and say find true happiness buuut a job is more realistic ahah

12-What is your eye color?

Green/Hazel!

18-Do you have any tattoos?

I do! I have one on the top of my left forearm, and it's a sprig of a plant! I wanna get another one cover my entire right forearm, of the scene from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse where Miles is Rising through the scene instead of falling. I really really want it but it costs money and I dont have Money so rip. Hopefully soon hehe

63-A quote you try to live by:

I don't really live by a quote tbh. I do like one from Winnie the pooh though, but I'll answer that next question ;P

75-What is your favorite quote, and why?

"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" from Winnie-the-Pooh :')

Idk why but every quote I've heard from Winnie-the-Pooh just hits me so hard. I love them all.

85-What are the top 5 places you wish you could go before you die?

1. Ireland

2. Scotland

3. Greece

4. This isn't really a place? But whereever my friends are so I can meet them

5. Idk somewhere warm. Like the Caribbean or something. With my family :))

108-Who is someone you never tire of?

Everyone. I don't really understand people that get tired of each other? I'm always the one people get tired of, not the other way around 😂😂😂

186-Share a song that takes you back to a certain memory in your past?

"I Swear This Time I Mean It" by Mayday Parade

My first boyfriend I've ever had sent it to me while I was babysitting my moms coworkers daughter. I just remember listening to it on her couch and crying cause it made me so happy, and so soft. He (my ex) ended up being a... really bad, very toxic person, and I can't really listen to the song very often because of it, but when I do I get that memory and its... nice. The memory of innocent, naive, hopeful love :')

212-Why do you follow me?

Because you're super sweet, and kind, and i love reading your little personal posts, whether they be about your anger towards the rising covid cases, or your brothers girlfriend, I love reading them haha

213-What would you do if we met?

Probably give you a very big hug, cause I think we both need one lolol

Thank you so so much for these questions sweetheart!! 💗💗💗💗💗